Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,846
Previously on Call Me Fitz.
2
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:21,760
We've finally
come together to
3
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,762
give this
baby a home.
4
00:00:23,762 --> 00:00:26,374
And exploit his
ass to sell cars.
5
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,900
Told you this family friendly
crap was an ass move.
6
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,423
If the mom's won't
come to Fitzy,
7
00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,991
Fitzy will come
to the moms.
8
00:00:34,991 --> 00:00:37,080
Richard Fitzpatrick,
President and CEO of
9
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,821
Fitzpatrick Motors.
10
00:00:38,821 --> 00:00:39,952
Where the fuck
are all the cars?
11
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,041
They were reposed.
12
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,433
I leae you alone for
3 fucking hours
13
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,435
and you get us repoed
by a loan shark?
14
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,093
Fuck.
15
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,921
You want to make money to
get your dealership back?
16
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:53,792
Here's how it's
going to roll.
17
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:55,098
Stogies?
18
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,274
Gummy Worms?
19
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:58,101
Bleach?!
20
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:59,668
A brothel scam.
21
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,934
Who want's
some old spice?
22
00:01:04,934 --> 00:01:06,196
Just get us another
round of mommy juice
23
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:09,069
would you sweetheart?
24
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,942
On your marks,
get set, go!
25
00:01:15,205 --> 00:01:16,511
We raked in
almost seven large.
26
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,295
Should be enough to
get our fleet back.
27
00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,776
Which I tucked away
in a place so shitty,
28
00:01:20,776 --> 00:01:23,692
no man dare
ever look.
29
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,172
Fuck.
30
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:28,392
Someone stole the
fucking baby.
31
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,833
I've lost a ton of
shit in my day:
32
00:01:34,833 --> 00:01:40,926
deals, women, weeks,
elections, erections,
33
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,887
bodies, my train of thought...
34
00:01:44,887 --> 00:01:47,629
What was I talking about?
35
00:01:47,629 --> 00:01:48,804
Richard!
36
00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:49,544
There you are.
37
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:50,849
Stuff it,
panty liner.
38
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,460
I lost something,
I can't concentrate
39
00:01:52,460 --> 00:01:54,505
when you're
whining.
40
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:58,640
Losing is for losers.
41
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,032
Half the crap
that goes missing,
42
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,818
you never needed
in the first place.
43
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,124
Right.
44
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,168
Trousers are not
the only thing
45
00:02:05,168 --> 00:02:06,604
you forgot, Mister.
46
00:02:06,604 --> 00:02:10,913
Just get my pants,
dick magnet.
47
00:02:10,913 --> 00:02:14,917
Just remember that everything
lost can be replaced.
48
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,659
If you can just remember what
the fuck it was...
49
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:18,921
Hey, Richard.
50
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:19,922
How about we play a
game of hotter colder
51
00:02:19,922 --> 00:02:21,053
to figure out
the thing that
52
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,098
you forgot?
53
00:02:22,098 --> 00:02:22,707
I forgot to punch
you in the throat?
54
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:23,230
Cold.
55
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,274
Very cold.
56
00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:32,369
Your son!
57
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,809
You lost your
baby son!
58
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,509
Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:41,509 --> 00:02:42,553
That.
60
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:54,913
♪ Without you
I'd find my smile ♪
61
00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:59,918
♪ Without you,
I'd'a won by a mile ♪
62
00:02:59,918 --> 00:03:06,142
♪ Without you
Oh life would be so grand ♪
63
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:10,929
♪ Without you
I'm half a man ♪
64
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:14,759
♪ With out you
65
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:22,419
♪ Without youuu
66
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,900
♪ Without you.
67
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:28,817
A human being, Larry.
68
00:03:28,817 --> 00:03:30,079
Who the fuck
loses that?
69
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,776
I don't know that
I did, Richard.
70
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,865
Of course
you did.
71
00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:34,866
I am
so sorry.
72
00:03:34,866 --> 00:03:36,564
That innocent
bundle of potential.
73
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,696
Why, Larry,
you monster.
74
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:39,654
Will you focus,
you retarded
75
00:03:39,654 --> 00:03:40,611
stripper pole.
76
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:41,699
You're right.
77
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:42,613
You're right,
let's breathe and
78
00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:43,832
focus on the
good here.
79
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:44,833
You, you have a
rosy shade of
80
00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,400
"fatherly" glow
in your cheeks.
81
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:47,836
Don't gay
this up.
82
00:03:47,836 --> 00:03:48,793
This is about
one thing -
83
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,926
Saving your
perfect baby boy.
84
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,319
Fucking whoever
is messing with us.
85
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,929
What's with all the
goddamned racket?
86
00:03:53,929 --> 00:03:55,583
Your mother's sleeping
off a quart.
87
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:56,758
Numbnuts lost
my kid.
88
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:58,107
Jesus.
89
00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,327
A fucking human
being, Larry?
90
00:04:00,327 --> 00:04:01,676
OK, listen up.
91
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:02,807
Typical.
92
00:04:02,807 --> 00:04:04,026
Family meeting and
no one tells me.
93
00:04:04,026 --> 00:04:05,070
This is my house too,
you know?
94
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:05,941
Shut the hole
where the
95
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,203
retard noises
come from.
96
00:04:07,203 --> 00:04:09,553
You are rubber
and I am glue.
97
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,250
Hey!
98
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:10,946
Something,
something,
99
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,034
fuck off, Dick.
100
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:13,078
Will you focus
the fuck on what
101
00:04:13,078 --> 00:04:14,036
I'm saying.
102
00:04:14,036 --> 00:04:15,820
Our future is
at stake here.
103
00:04:15,820 --> 00:04:18,214
The key to the fucking
Fitzpatrick legacy.
104
00:04:18,214 --> 00:04:20,042
You're right, sir,
and by golly we will
105
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:23,741
get our rightful heir
and son of a Fitz back!
106
00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:26,875
I'm talking about
the dealership.
107
00:04:26,875 --> 00:04:28,311
I don't care
about the kid.
108
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,705
We lost Meghan for
two weeks once.
109
00:04:30,705 --> 00:04:32,359
Oh Daddy,
you'll never lose me.
110
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:33,229
See?
111
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,448
Kids are like
the herp.
112
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,188
They always
come back.
113
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:37,799
Now, gimme the
dough from the
114
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:38,930
brothel scam.
115
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,410
I'll take care of
our debt and get
116
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,716
the dealership back.
117
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:42,978
We'll worry about
the kid later.
118
00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:43,935
Yeah, and do
not fear!
119
00:04:43,935 --> 00:04:45,546
Josh said he
stashed the money
120
00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,112
in a safe place.
121
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,594
Fuck!!
122
00:04:51,943 --> 00:04:52,944
Josh!
123
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:01,257
Where are you,
Fitzpatrick?
124
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:06,871
Aha!
125
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,750
You stashed the loot
up the kid's ass?
126
00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,708
Gross, no.
127
00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:20,407
I put it
in his diaper.
128
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,408
It's perfect, right?
129
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:22,365
Who's that little
guy gonna tell?
130
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:23,888
You lost the baby
and the money?
131
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,847
I am ssss,
so sorry.
132
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:28,980
How are we gonna pay
the loan back now,
133
00:05:28,980 --> 00:05:29,807
dick-clot?
134
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,156
Wait!
135
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:32,680
Dirty diapers!
136
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:35,770
Yes!
137
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:37,511
Oh, oh God!
138
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:39,034
Oh no!
139
00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:47,259
Yeah, I changed
the kid's diaper
140
00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:50,393
late last night before
I stashed the cash.
141
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,134
And you didn't think
to mention that?
142
00:05:53,265 --> 00:05:54,136
Pack your shit and
hit the bricks.
143
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,050
Wha- What did I do?!
144
00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,486
Useless Fuck!
145
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,097
Jimmy and his
guys are animals.
146
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,185
If we don't come
up with that cash,
147
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,404
we not going
to make it
148
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,405
to cocktail hour.
149
00:06:02,405 --> 00:06:04,015
Don't get your
panties in a knot.
150
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:04,973
I'll take
care of this.
151
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:06,496
Just like I
always do.
152
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:07,758
Don't worry, sir.
153
00:06:07,758 --> 00:06:09,281
We'll find that poor,
defenseless Fitzlet.
154
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:12,241
Or that child's
name isn't...
155
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:14,765
We should really
think of a name
156
00:06:14,765 --> 00:06:16,245
for that child.
157
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:21,772
Hey, fellas.
158
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:22,773
The ah,
dishes are done.
159
00:06:22,773 --> 00:06:23,861
Hey!
160
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:24,775
You do not speak
unless you are
161
00:06:24,775 --> 00:06:25,602
spoken to...
162
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,298
whatever your
name is.
163
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:27,561
Bruce.
164
00:06:27,561 --> 00:06:28,866
I keep telling
you, mate.
165
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:30,041
What is he saying?
166
00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:30,912
I don't understand,
what he's saying?
167
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:31,739
It is as if
he has marbles
168
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:32,957
in his mouth.
169
00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,441
Now cousin,
as your elder -
170
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,051
Ah, but I am
your elder now.
171
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:40,878
That is nonsense.
172
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,923
Much-sense.
173
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:44,708
Consult our
falsified passports.
174
00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:45,753
Fine.
175
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:53,369
Our passports.
176
00:06:53,369 --> 00:06:54,588
They're gone.
177
00:06:54,588 --> 00:06:56,981
Somebody has stolen
our stolen identities!
178
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:58,766
Bruce the Dishwasher.
179
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,158
Oh. Because something
goes missing it must
180
00:07:00,158 --> 00:07:02,726
be our illegal
alien laborer?
181
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:05,076
Verrry
interesting.
182
00:07:05,076 --> 00:07:07,644
Oh, can I help
you fellow
183
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,864
North American
citizen?
184
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,256
We need to
help each other.
185
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,823
What do you mean, broseph?
186
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:14,303
You know.
187
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,478
And you know
what I know.
188
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:16,827
And I know that.
189
00:07:16,827 --> 00:07:17,872
Cousin.
190
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,833
The sickly,
bleached guinea pig
191
00:07:22,833 --> 00:07:24,487
is a prosecutor
of the law.
192
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:25,706
Play along.
193
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,102
We will scratch your
back as much as
194
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,277
you would like.
195
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,192
A vigorous
back scratching.
196
00:07:34,192 --> 00:07:38,240
We're both after
the same thing.
197
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,589
The illegal alien?
198
00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:43,724
Exactly.
199
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,813
If you see him or
anyone like him -
200
00:07:45,813 --> 00:07:47,858
or anyone named
Fitzpatrick -
201
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,599
then you telecommunicate
with me.
202
00:07:49,599 --> 00:07:51,122
I'll do the same.
203
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,910
Here's my
numeric sequence.
204
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:59,130
It's been a pleasure, gentlemen.
205
00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:02,699
At last,
a white devil
206
00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:04,614
that talks sense.
207
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,072
Devon.
208
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,160
Ali.
209
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:30,248
It's Fitz.
210
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:31,511
Look, I'm just uh,
checking in.
211
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:35,732
About - uh - you know -
parenting stuff.
212
00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,255
Look call me.
213
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:38,300
Now.
214
00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:40,694
Where the
hell is she?
215
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,654
Really Larry,
a lost baby poster!
216
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,090
What the hell
are you thinking?
217
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,310
Uh, about finding
the lost baby?
218
00:08:48,310 --> 00:08:50,573
Competition finds out
you lost the kid,
219
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:52,575
our family angle
is in the shitter;
220
00:08:52,575 --> 00:08:53,707
and Devon - I'll
never hear the end of it
221
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:54,925
from that broad.
222
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,797
Yeah, she might be
upset that we misplaced
223
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:57,711
her child.
224
00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,016
That she abandoned.
225
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,235
Who'd want to
take a kid?
226
00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:02,585
Well, most kidnappings
are perpetrated by
227
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,282
someone known
to the victim.
228
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,849
Be it wives, ex-wives,
jealous lovers ...
229
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:07,634
He's three
months old.
230
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:09,331
Well, we know that your
family doesn't want him.
231
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,115
And the only other
place you take him
232
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:12,377
is to that bar.
233
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,509
Hawking the baby on
the black market was
234
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:14,597
the Ruptals' idea.
235
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,816
Fuck, Larry.
236
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:19,036
It's those carpet
bombing mother-fucks.
237
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:20,603
You're welcome.
238
00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:30,744
Why is everything
so clean?
239
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:33,703
Since when do we
have a vacuum?
240
00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:42,059
Where the fuck is
my yogilates mat?
241
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,975
What. The.
242
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,020
Da-dee!!
243
00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:48,675
What is it now?
244
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:49,806
You know how long
it takes me to
245
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:50,894
squeeze out a
piss these days?
246
00:09:50,894 --> 00:09:52,069
There was a
vacuum there.
247
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:53,505
And now
there's not.
248
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:56,770
And look,
someone cleaned.
249
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,865
Fuck. It's the gay mob
all over again.
250
00:10:04,865 --> 00:10:06,867
The mob does
floors?
251
00:10:06,867 --> 00:10:07,868
It's a warning
From Jimmy and
252
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:08,999
his goons.
253
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,218
If they don't get
that scratch,
254
00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,873
it's gonna be a
fight to remember.
255
00:10:12,873 --> 00:10:14,744
Just like the
good old days.
256
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:15,615
Wait, what?
257
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:16,398
They were in
the house?
258
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,791
Goons?
259
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,357
They might
hurt me.
260
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,881
They might
even rape me!
261
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:24,667
They don't hire
blind goons, moron.
262
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:27,844
Ok, so what's
the plan.
263
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:28,976
Am I playing
respectful cop or
264
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,107
understanding cop?
265
00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:31,195
Should we just grab
the baby and run,
266
00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:32,719
or should we get
an appetizer first?
267
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,242
What the fuck?
268
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:37,462
Limpdick. I
should have known.
269
00:10:37,462 --> 00:10:38,812
Ahoy-hoy, gentlemen.
270
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,684
Tis I, your
fearless captain.
271
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,555
Of the S.S. Batshit?
272
00:10:43,555 --> 00:10:45,645
Very droll, earthling,
but it is dreams
273
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,211
which fill this
vessel's sails
274
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,909
as it tacks
among the stars.
275
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,388
You fucking
nut bar.
276
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:51,563
You were always
obsessed with
277
00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:52,521
that kid.
278
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:53,696
Gimme my son!
279
00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,699
You lost the
communications device?
280
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,092
Pardon me.
281
00:10:58,092 --> 00:10:59,267
You probably know it
better by its Earth name.
282
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:00,660
Your bay-bee.
283
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:02,226
I need it to reestablish
a link to the aliens
284
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:04,489
to let them know I'm
ready for pickup.
285
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:05,795
Open the short bus
or I'll do it
286
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,014
with what's left of
your fucking head.
287
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,406
Yeah, hang on,
Baby!
288
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,278
Uncle Larry's
coming!
289
00:11:12,497 --> 00:11:14,195
Oh wow!
290
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,893
That is a
lot of crazy...
291
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:18,242
Ali Devon?!
292
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,287
Oh hi Larry.
293
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,549
You let him
kidnap you too?
294
00:11:20,549 --> 00:11:22,290
Quick question fellas.
295
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:23,465
On a scale from
three to seventeen,
296
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,597
how much does
a taser hurt?
297
00:11:27,164 --> 00:11:28,209
Awwww!
298
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,610
The wheels on the
kidnapper's van
299
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:39,611
don't go round
and round cause
300
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:40,787
spaceships don't
have wheels,
301
00:11:40,787 --> 00:11:42,397
they have
hover fields,
302
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,704
all the
live long day.
303
00:11:45,879 --> 00:11:46,749
Everybody -
304
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,577
Pssst.
305
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,710
Hey, don't worry.
306
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,929
For a brain-damaged
psychopath,
307
00:11:52,929 --> 00:11:55,323
he's actually
pretty nice,
308
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,541
well except for
the whole...
309
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:57,586
kidnapping thing.
310
00:11:57,586 --> 00:12:01,155
Wow, you're
full-on Stockholm.
311
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:04,027
Could be.
312
00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,769
It has been a while
since I've seen daylight.
313
00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:08,640
And I'm happy
to see you,
314
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,338
which makes
zero sense.
315
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:12,819
It makes
perfect sense.
316
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:14,777
He can lead
us to the
317
00:12:14,777 --> 00:12:15,778
communication
device.
318
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,432
Your bay-bee.
319
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:17,911
Fuck.
320
00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:19,521
So, Chester.
321
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:21,392
How exactly do you
communicate with
322
00:12:21,392 --> 00:12:25,396
the aliens via
a little baby?
323
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:26,702
That's crazy talk.
324
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:28,660
Aliens communicate
by sending messages
325
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,488
in DNA protein.
326
00:12:30,488 --> 00:12:32,664
The baby is just
a homing beacon.
327
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,579
Uh huh.
328
00:12:34,579 --> 00:12:35,624
Right.
329
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,408
What the fuc-
330
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,845
While were on
the subject,
331
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,063
Richard has really
turned the corner
332
00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,587
and he is one
heck of a dad now.
333
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:48,245
Oh, wow that is
so nice to hear.
334
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:50,639
I mean that's why I
left our son with him.
335
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,684
Sure I was on
a downward spiral
336
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:55,644
of self-loathing and
crippling postpartum
337
00:12:55,644 --> 00:12:57,472
depression,
but I always knew
338
00:12:57,472 --> 00:13:00,736
that Fitz would grow
into becoming a father.
339
00:13:00,736 --> 00:13:02,433
Don't say anything
about your dick.
340
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,261
Fine then you say
something about it...
341
00:13:04,261 --> 00:13:06,133
Or better yet,
do something about it.
342
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:07,656
It is right here.
343
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:13,967
A-hem.
344
00:13:13,967 --> 00:13:15,795
How about we control
our baser urges
345
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,797
in front of Larry
and focus on finding
346
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,450
the lost baby.
347
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:22,714
Lost baby?
348
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,065
Our baby?
349
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,808
Not lost.
350
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,766
We think someone
took him.
351
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:31,811
Hello?
352
00:13:33,116 --> 00:13:34,596
If anything happens
to my baby,
353
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:38,382
I will fucking
kill you!
354
00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:43,735
Quit fighting or,
so help me Zorth,
355
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:44,824
I will turn this
spaceship around
356
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,216
and drive us
off a cliff.
357
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:47,565
Just kidding.
358
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:48,610
Maybe.
359
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:51,352
That's it!
360
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:59,229
♪ Work your body,
work your body bitch ow! ♪
361
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:13,809
Motherfucker!
362
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:16,986
Who the fuck took
my anal bleach?
363
00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:23,297
I can't believe it.
364
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:33,785
Aghhhh!
365
00:14:33,785 --> 00:14:35,091
Jimmy.
366
00:14:35,091 --> 00:14:36,745
What the fuck?
367
00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:38,094
Where's my
threatening call?
368
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:38,790
I've been
waiting all day.
369
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:39,791
Aw, sorry, Ken.
370
00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,793
Was I supposed to
shake you down?
371
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,491
And lay off the Molly Maid
warning schtick.
372
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:44,709
I'm good for the cash.
373
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,450
I didn't send anyone.
374
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:49,279
Rico's in for varicose
vein treatment all week.
375
00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,759
I'll get to it.
376
00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:53,196
It's time we meet
face to face, fucktard,
377
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,373
and Ibetterpay up
by tonight, or else.
378
00:14:56,373 --> 00:14:57,809
Come on, show some
goddamn respect
379
00:14:57,809 --> 00:14:59,246
for your craft.
380
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,118
I saw something in
the bathroom, Daddy.
381
00:15:02,118 --> 00:15:04,599
Someone was
in there.
382
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,818
Showtime!
Ha ha ha ha!
383
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:14,304
Right on time.
384
00:15:14,304 --> 00:15:15,827
Now you sit tight
while I go find
385
00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:17,090
the baby-beacon.
386
00:15:17,090 --> 00:15:18,308
Then why do
you need us?
387
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:19,353
I don't.
388
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:21,790
Except Ali.
389
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:24,793
Who's to become
my celestial bride.
390
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:26,360
Either that or
they'll turn her
391
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:27,622
into a coat.
392
00:15:27,622 --> 00:15:28,318
The overlords weren't
a hundred per cent
393
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,667
clear on that.
394
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:30,973
Oh Chester.
395
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,844
There's something
I have to tell you.
396
00:15:32,844 --> 00:15:34,107
I am an alien.
397
00:15:36,718 --> 00:15:41,114
And I have hid the
key to the spaceship.
398
00:15:44,378 --> 00:15:45,683
I knew there
was something
399
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:46,815
off about you...
400
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,556
You're a liar!
401
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,079
Aliens don't
use keys.
402
00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:52,647
They unlock things
with star fruit.
403
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:53,865
Right. Right.
404
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:54,692
Of course.
405
00:15:54,692 --> 00:15:56,477
Of course uh...
406
00:15:56,477 --> 00:16:00,002
You have passed
my test, earthling
407
00:16:00,002 --> 00:16:02,048
and have proven
you are worthy to
408
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:05,225
traipse among
the stars.
409
00:16:05,225 --> 00:16:07,705
You don't need a kid
to signal the ship.
410
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,665
You can use
a signal fire.
411
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:16,888
Scratch that.
412
00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,847
You're a
horrible liar.
413
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:21,632
But it's not
a bad idea...
414
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:24,896
Are you fucking
kidding me,
415
00:16:24,896 --> 00:16:26,246
a signal fire?
416
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:29,727
What the fuck is
wrong with you?.
417
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:33,079
A warehouse inferno
will make an
418
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,385
excellent signal fire.
419
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,002
Sorry.
420
00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:45,656
What's that smell?
421
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,615
It's gasoline,
taint-licker.
422
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:48,833
Any final
requests?
423
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:49,704
Sinatra?
424
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,706
Well, can can I
answer my phone?
425
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,494
I can't trust
you to do that.
426
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,061
Ahoy-hoy.
427
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:03,413
Come to fifteen-fifteen
Commercial Avenue.
428
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:09,550
Did you hear that?
429
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:14,424
You sit tight and I'll
be back real soon, okay?
430
00:17:14,424 --> 00:17:16,209
Toodles.
431
00:17:16,209 --> 00:17:19,777
Um, aren't I your
celestial bride?
432
00:17:20,778 --> 00:17:23,694
Oh silly,
you can't burn a star.
433
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,674
Well that
was close.
434
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:53,594
Fuck!
435
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:57,076
Gotcha, you creepy,
peepy, fuck!
436
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:58,077
Now!
437
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,863
Hands Up!
438
00:18:01,863 --> 00:18:03,734
Ah! Don't shoot!
439
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:05,214
Woah!
440
00:18:05,214 --> 00:18:07,042
You're not the
fucking mob.
441
00:18:07,042 --> 00:18:08,565
I'm sorry Mr. F.
442
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:10,872
You said I was useless
and then I got stoned,
443
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,222
and then I
started dusting...
444
00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:14,963
and now I can't stop
every time I smoke a bowl.
445
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:17,313
You sick fuck.
446
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:18,358
I know.
447
00:18:18,358 --> 00:18:19,489
I'm cleaning the
fucking grout
448
00:18:19,489 --> 00:18:20,490
between tiles, man.
449
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:21,883
You gotta help me.
450
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:23,537
I've been hiding in here
taking naps so I can
451
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:24,755
clean around
the clock.
452
00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,279
Do something, Daddy.
453
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:28,368
Get your shit
out of here.
454
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:29,064
Of course sir.
455
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:32,067
Not you, her.
456
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:33,590
He's taking
your room.
457
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:34,504
What?!
458
00:18:34,504 --> 00:18:35,723
You can't
do that.
459
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:36,680
At least the hippie
fuck pulls his
460
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,552
weight around here.
461
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,641
What.
462
00:18:41,772 --> 00:18:42,382
You wanna
be roomies?
463
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,774
Don't touch me!
464
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,649
Oh, just a little
to the left.
465
00:18:48,649 --> 00:18:49,737
Oh yeah!
466
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:51,521
Richard, now is
not the time!
467
00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:53,610
If I get through
this rope,
468
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,698
I'm going to
chew it off
469
00:18:54,698 --> 00:18:56,178
and make you
choke on it.
470
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,919
Don't you gang
up on me.
471
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:59,703
Piss!
472
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:00,487
What'd you run
out of insults?
473
00:19:00,487 --> 00:19:01,923
- No.
- Larry, Piss.
474
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:02,793
On the fire.
475
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:03,620
Buy us some time.
476
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:04,708
Richard, I
could never.
477
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:05,709
In front
of a lady?
478
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:06,928
Oh right.
479
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:07,798
Because letting me
burn to death would be
480
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:08,973
the gentlemanly
thing to do?
481
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,018
Fine.
482
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:16,807
I hate urinating
on demand.
483
00:19:16,807 --> 00:19:19,027
Piss, you little
bitch, piss!
484
00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,202
Oh I never.
485
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,824
So much fire,
so little pee.
486
00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:35,652
Just put it
in your pants.
487
00:19:35,652 --> 00:19:36,871
Hey wait up.
488
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:38,525
Thanks Larry,
middle of fucking nowhere.
489
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:39,743
What if they
hurt him?
490
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:42,224
I swear to God Fitz,
if there is one scratch
491
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:43,486
on that baby -
492
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,749
Ali, believe me,
Richard cares about
493
00:19:45,749 --> 00:19:46,620
that baby just as
much as you do.
494
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:47,664
Yeah.
495
00:19:47,664 --> 00:19:49,318
Little fucker
stole my money.
496
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:51,190
I need it to buy
the dealership back.
497
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,582
You see?
498
00:19:52,582 --> 00:19:53,757
He doesn't give
a shit about
499
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,020
anyone but himself.
500
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:57,935
You know I have been
down this road before
501
00:19:57,935 --> 00:20:00,286
and look where
it got me.
502
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:00,982
Miss Devon.
503
00:20:00,982 --> 00:20:02,026
Wait.
504
00:20:02,026 --> 00:20:03,202
I think Richard's
acting up because
505
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,029
he feels abandoned
by his mother,
506
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:06,727
his father,
his son.
507
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,381
And now you leaving
makes it worse.
508
00:20:08,381 --> 00:20:11,775
Yeah, yeah
what he said.
509
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,603
Are you kidding?
510
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,170
You wanna know
why everyone
511
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:16,780
abandons you,
Fitz?
512
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:19,435
Because you
deserve it.
513
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:20,784
You want to know
how this ends?
514
00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,873
Listen close you fuck 'cause
here's the punch line.
515
00:20:22,873 --> 00:20:24,745
Your liver gives out,
your father's heart
516
00:20:24,745 --> 00:20:27,313
finally implodes
and no one takes over
517
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,316
your low-rent dealership
when your cold rotting
518
00:20:30,316 --> 00:20:32,796
carcasses hit
the ground.
519
00:20:37,061 --> 00:20:38,759
Reckon you could
all use a lift?
520
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:39,977
Name's Bruce.
521
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:50,684
1515 Commercial Avenue please.
522
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,561
I have located
the missing alien.
523
00:20:58,561 --> 00:21:00,824
He's at 1515
Commercial Avenue.
524
00:21:01,782 --> 00:21:03,784
Do not approach
the beacon.
525
00:21:03,784 --> 00:21:08,310
Only I can decode
the Master's protein-DNA.
526
00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:11,531
The one sane
white devil has
527
00:21:11,531 --> 00:21:12,619
stopped making sense.
528
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,708
But, cousin?!
529
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,927
We may have
located Bruce.
530
00:21:16,927 --> 00:21:18,102
And our passports?
531
00:21:18,102 --> 00:21:20,104
We'll soon find out.
532
00:21:38,732 --> 00:21:43,780
Time to find out whose
fucking with my dealership.
533
00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:53,921
Where the
fuck is Jimmy?
534
00:21:53,921 --> 00:21:55,139
Who's asking?
535
00:21:55,139 --> 00:21:57,185
Ken fucking Fitzpatrick.
536
00:21:57,185 --> 00:21:58,708
Don't hurt me.
537
00:22:00,231 --> 00:22:01,711
You're Jimmy?
538
00:22:01,711 --> 00:22:03,365
What kind of fucking
muscle are you?
539
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:04,975
I'm not.
540
00:22:04,975 --> 00:22:06,586
My nana says
I'm skinny fat.
541
00:22:06,586 --> 00:22:07,674
Where are the
leg breakers?
542
00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,589
The knee cappers?
543
00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:11,155
Am I speaking Mexican?
544
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:12,461
It wasn't even
my money.
545
00:22:12,461 --> 00:22:15,595
Some guy he hired me
to loan you that cash.
546
00:22:15,595 --> 00:22:17,336
Said he didn't
even want it back.
547
00:22:17,336 --> 00:22:19,120
Who?
548
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,122
Who motherfucker?!
549
00:22:34,091 --> 00:22:36,398
Master,
is it you?
550
00:22:36,398 --> 00:22:37,660
What is
this chicanery?
551
00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:39,445
Where is Bruce?!
552
00:22:51,718 --> 00:22:52,893
Is that?
553
00:22:52,893 --> 00:22:53,850
Bruce.
554
00:22:53,850 --> 00:22:54,764
Where is my
pipe bomb?
555
00:22:54,764 --> 00:22:55,809
Glove box.
556
00:23:02,511 --> 00:23:03,730
Our passports.
557
00:23:03,730 --> 00:23:05,427
Cousin!
558
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,255
We have made a
grievous error.
559
00:23:07,255 --> 00:23:09,257
Racial profiling does
solve everything!
560
00:23:09,257 --> 00:23:12,042
We have found
our passports!
561
00:23:14,784 --> 00:23:15,785
Open up!
562
00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:28,798
Deliver your
protein message
563
00:23:28,798 --> 00:23:30,496
to me, leader.
564
00:23:30,496 --> 00:23:31,540
I'm ready.
565
00:23:51,560 --> 00:23:55,259
Sorry for all the
cloak and dagger.
566
00:23:55,259 --> 00:23:59,046
Wanted to avoid any
unnecessary press.
567
00:24:03,659 --> 00:24:05,313
Yuri.
568
00:24:05,313 --> 00:24:07,837
Special special Assistant.
569
00:24:09,186 --> 00:24:11,232
To who?
570
00:24:11,232 --> 00:24:12,538
Whom.
571
00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:13,582
Ahh.
572
00:24:27,378 --> 00:24:28,510
The beacon!
573
00:24:32,558 --> 00:24:34,298
Give me
back my kid.
574
00:24:34,298 --> 00:24:35,865
It's ok, honey.
575
00:24:35,865 --> 00:24:37,345
Mommy's here!
576
00:24:44,831 --> 00:24:47,007
Who the
fuck are you?
577
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:00,760
Nooooooooooo!
37118
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof