All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S04E01 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H264 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:19,193 --> 00:00:20,542 Previously On Call Me Fitz. 2 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:23,066 Why would you resent me? 3 00:00:25,068 --> 00:00:27,027 Ali, we agreed. 4 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,333 I don't want the Baby to see my weewee. 5 00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,205 We were always good business partners Lainey. 6 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,423 Shitty parents. 7 00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:34,121 Nightmare marriage. 8 00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:37,080 But goddamn geniuses when it came to pushing tin. 9 00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,779 Congratulations Mr. Mayor. 10 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:42,955 What are you going to do now? 11 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,609 Whatever the fuck I want. 12 00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:48,700 Oh god. 13 00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:49,484 Meghan! 14 00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,789 She is all yours now. 15 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:52,269 I don't know what the fuck is going on but 16 00:00:52,269 --> 00:00:53,966 I am having this baby. 17 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,751 Let's get the fuck out of here. 18 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,144 Oh my god! 19 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,188 Hello? 20 00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:05,021 Get out of my life you fucking loser. 21 00:01:05,021 --> 00:01:06,240 I have to get the dealership back from 22 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,069 those two carbombistanis. 23 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,071 I want to buy my dealership back. 24 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,116 The Ruptals have tactical advantage. 25 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,161 Sign. 26 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,556 Give me a chance. 27 00:01:18,556 --> 00:01:21,429 A chance to be the most attentive father in the world. 28 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:24,693 Don't forget your friends on the air Mr. Fitz. 29 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:27,348 Three hundred thousand cash. 30 00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,567 The only way you could beat the highest bidder 31 00:01:29,567 --> 00:01:31,743 is by combining your offers. 32 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:32,875 In business with him? 33 00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,137 No fucking way. 34 00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,661 Oh hi Ali, it's me. 35 00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:38,446 Ah, listen, I'm going to be a little bit 36 00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:40,012 late for our future. 37 00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,406 They're going to take me to the home world now. 38 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:43,364 Alright I did it. 39 00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,582 I own this place now. 40 00:01:44,582 --> 00:01:46,845 Ftzy's no loser, I got this. 41 00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:49,500 'Good hustle, come on now, one more. 42 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,637 He's a Fitzpatrick. 43 00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,595 Oh fuck. 44 00:01:57,595 --> 00:01:59,162 Your passports, birth certificates, 45 00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:03,384 drivers licenses and library cards. 46 00:02:03,384 --> 00:02:04,385 Oh, and ah, 47 00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:07,779 I'm also going to need some teeth. 48 00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,826 You're daddy's not the loser. 49 00:02:12,958 --> 00:02:13,959 I am. 50 00:02:19,182 --> 00:02:20,575 Larry, tell me you've been keeping up our 51 00:02:20,575 --> 00:02:22,011 insurance premiums? 52 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,926 You know it buddy. 53 00:02:23,926 --> 00:02:25,014 With that money we can build a place 54 00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:27,059 twice this size. 55 00:02:27,059 --> 00:02:29,149 Ring a ding ding. 56 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:33,457 " 57 00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,463 From the dawn of time, Fitzpatrick's have 58 00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:41,161 always sold cars. 59 00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:48,211 We've also been tax cheats. 60 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:52,607 Sexual mavericks. 61 00:02:52,607 --> 00:02:54,304 Reverse cowgirl? 62 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:57,351 That was us. 63 00:02:57,351 --> 00:03:01,268 Crack-addicted circus clowns. 64 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:05,097 Hell, my second cousin once fucked a rhino, 65 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:08,144 and no, that's not a metaphor. 66 00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:12,148 Only one skill we Fitzes never mastered 67 00:03:12,148 --> 00:03:14,194 was that of 'family man.' 68 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,240 And I, Richard Fitzpatrick, 69 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,288 sure as shit am not gonna break with tradition now. 70 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:28,904 Fuck man, not the Hugo Boss! 71 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,036 Jesus. 72 00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:32,037 How do you plead to the charges of 73 00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:34,083 Jail break, arson, insurance fraud, 74 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,085 kidnapping, narcotics use and 75 00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,696 chronic and continued civil disobedience. 76 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:40,002 Not guilty! 77 00:03:40,002 --> 00:03:40,742 Guilty! 78 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,091 Yes he, he is guilty. 79 00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:43,571 As sin. 80 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:45,137 Stop typing. 81 00:03:45,137 --> 00:03:46,269 Charges dismissed. 82 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,966 Sayonara, shitbags. 83 00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:49,359 I got cars to sell. 84 00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,447 Okay, wait, wait, wait, 85 00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:51,927 you're letting my dickwit brother go? 86 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:55,322 Listen, Ms. Aiding-and-abetting- a-prison-break, 87 00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:57,628 your brother bankrupted the city with his 88 00:03:57,628 --> 00:03:59,021 bogus run for office. 89 00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:02,024 I'm not spending another dime on the Fitzpatricks. 90 00:04:02,024 --> 00:04:03,286 Okay, A. I didn't vote for him 91 00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:06,115 and 2. they weren't real prisoners, 92 00:04:06,115 --> 00:04:08,030 so it wasn't a real prison break, 93 00:04:08,030 --> 00:04:09,161 which means I am not a real 94 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,075 motherfucking aider and abetter, 95 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:12,077 you nappy-haired Nazi bitch! 96 00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:14,906 Okay, maybe one more dime. 97 00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,995 Wait, wait, no, no, no, no? 98 00:04:16,995 --> 00:04:17,518 Hands behind your back. 99 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:18,432 Oh, come on! 100 00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:19,694 Oh, get your hands off of me! 101 00:04:19,694 --> 00:04:20,912 Or at least put them in the right fucking pl-! 102 00:04:20,912 --> 00:04:22,305 No, get them off of me! 103 00:04:22,305 --> 00:04:23,785 C'mon, Your Honor. 104 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:24,960 Joyce. 105 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,222 I'm beggin' ya. 106 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,354 One night's sleep in lockup, 107 00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,485 that's all I'm asking. 108 00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,878 This little fucker parties harder 109 00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:31,227 than I do. 110 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:32,576 You got yourself a life sentence 111 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:33,925 the second you whipped your dick 112 00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:36,101 out of your pants, Fitzpatrick. 113 00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:38,147 There's no escaping parenthood. 114 00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:58,080 ♪ Without you I'd find my smile ♪ 115 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:03,346 ♪ Without you I'd'a won by a mile ♪ 116 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:09,700 ♪ Without you Oh life would be so grand ♪ 117 00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:14,357 ♪ Without you I'm half a man ♪ 118 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:19,971 ♪ With out you 119 00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:25,455 ♪ Without youuu 120 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:28,415 ♪ Without you. 121 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:58,009 Oh, Fuck. 122 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:03,798 Fuck! 123 00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,759 Shut up, shut up! 124 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,506 FUCK! 125 00:06:31,869 --> 00:06:32,870 Oh ya, that feels good 126 00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:34,089 doesn't it. 127 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,004 Yeah, Fitzey likes that sometimes too. 128 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:37,788 OK. 129 00:06:37,788 --> 00:06:40,269 Aww, who's a free daddy? 130 00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:41,226 Congratulations! 131 00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:42,184 Go choke on a dick Larry. 132 00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:43,620 Um, no. 133 00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:45,448 But I will take this as a sign - nay, 134 00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,885 a golden opportunity- to help Richard Fitzpatrick 135 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,887 become the first responsible father on 136 00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,237 the Fitzpatrick family tree. 137 00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:52,803 Ta-dah. 138 00:06:52,803 --> 00:06:55,023 Baby book. 139 00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:57,852 Dumbass, the baby can't read yet. 140 00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,549 Can he? 141 00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,072 I'm making a Fitzpatrick memory book. 142 00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,945 Oh and look, I discovered a 143 00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,903 single sprout of goodness. 144 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,601 Yeah, Grandma Alice. 145 00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:09,603 See she's got a spotless driving record. 146 00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:10,821 Good teeth. 147 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:13,041 And just check out this AA pin on her lapel 148 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,477 and she didn't even drink! 149 00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:15,173 Yeah. 150 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,261 She's a real keeper. 151 00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:17,741 Disappeared before family dinner 152 00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:19,047 and never came back. 153 00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,484 Well perhaps she'll return. 154 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:23,225 You know maybe, maybe she went on 155 00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,879 a safari because the Fitzpatricks were 156 00:07:24,879 --> 00:07:26,271 renowned animal lovers! 157 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:27,882 Look a Rhino! 158 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,406 Fuck off, dick cheese! 159 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,712 Richard, don't you see? 160 00:07:31,712 --> 00:07:33,496 Alice is genetic proof that there is 161 00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,889 good in this family. 162 00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:37,718 It's someone for the baby to look up to. 163 00:07:37,718 --> 00:07:38,458 Where are you going? 164 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,502 My happy place, Larry. 165 00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,417 Bottom of a martini glass. 166 00:07:41,417 --> 00:07:43,898 You can't take a baby into a bar. 167 00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:45,987 Oh, I think generations of Fitzpatricks 168 00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:47,423 would call bullshit. 169 00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:53,821 Richard! 170 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:54,778 There's a baby, baby! 171 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,953 OH RICHARD! 172 00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,375 Oh, hey, little buddy- 173 00:08:27,768 --> 00:08:31,815 AGGGGHHHH!!! 174 00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,617 Arson? 175 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:51,792 Fraud?! 176 00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,533 Your underwriter can kiss my 177 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,273 hairy Irish ass. 178 00:08:55,273 --> 00:08:58,320 And then he can kiss it again! 179 00:09:03,891 --> 00:09:05,675 So, Mr. F? 180 00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,808 Did we get the SL 12000 or should we get the 15? 181 00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,592 You'll get shit and love it! 182 00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:11,855 Until I get to the bottom of who's trying 183 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:13,117 to fuck Ken Fitzpatrick. 184 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,554 You are an attractive man. 185 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,643 No, you retarded bongmonkey. 186 00:09:16,643 --> 00:09:18,340 First they sabotaged our insurance claim, 187 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,777 now they outbid us on the new fleet. 188 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,562 Someone's trying to bring us down. 189 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:24,651 You mean down, down? 190 00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:26,043 'Cause Joshy like. 191 00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:28,132 Has your ass grown teeth? 192 00:09:28,132 --> 00:09:29,394 Hold my calls. 193 00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,700 I got a meeting with a bottle of bourbon. 194 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:32,659 Woah woah woah, ah no, 195 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:33,964 I'm the mechanic. 196 00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:35,139 Mechanic? 197 00:09:35,139 --> 00:09:36,750 You're nothing without Fitzpatrick Motors. 198 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,013 Were nothing without Fitzpatrick Motors. 199 00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:41,102 This family wouldn't exist without 200 00:09:41,102 --> 00:09:43,800 Fitzpatrick fucking Motors. 201 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,151 So, if I'm not the mechanic then... 202 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,591 Who am I? 203 00:10:00,991 --> 00:10:01,905 K, that didn't help. 204 00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:03,385 now I really don't remember. 205 00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,348 Really? 206 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,523 Fuck! 207 00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,787 Get your hands off! 208 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:17,747 Hey, you wanna hold my kid? 209 00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,183 How did he find us!? 210 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,837 I don't know cousin. 211 00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:21,751 It's not as if we have a giant beacon of 212 00:10:21,751 --> 00:10:23,057 sin on our roof. 213 00:10:23,057 --> 00:10:25,363 Well Josh promised that our top secret location 214 00:10:25,363 --> 00:10:26,669 would be -top secret. 215 00:10:26,669 --> 00:10:27,888 Cousin, we are a mere three blocks from our 216 00:10:27,888 --> 00:10:28,671 previous domicile. 217 00:10:28,671 --> 00:10:29,803 It doesn't even matter. 218 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,239 With this increase in facial hair and 219 00:10:31,239 --> 00:10:33,110 the wearing of these casual slacks, 220 00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:34,677 no one will be able to recognize us. 221 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:37,680 We will kill the Western infidel 222 00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,725 with liver failure. 223 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,336 One half-price bourbon shot a time. 224 00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:43,381 Only between the hours of four and five pm. 225 00:10:43,381 --> 00:10:45,688 The hour of happiness, that is our 226 00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,211 greatest weapon! 227 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:56,699 Would your bald friend there like a drink? 228 00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:59,920 Yeah sure, make it a triple. 229 00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:01,835 It is a shame that the trafficking of babies 230 00:11:01,835 --> 00:11:04,707 is illegal in this country of mine, 231 00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:07,667 which I have always lived. 232 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:08,711 What did you just say? 233 00:11:08,711 --> 00:11:09,625 Ahhh- 234 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:11,279 Two for one bourbon shots. 235 00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:12,802 Babies drink free. 236 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:13,542 No, no, that thing about 237 00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:14,543 selling kid's. 238 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:16,197 White ones used to fetch 239 00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:17,677 a very good price, 240 00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,505 a very good price indeed, 241 00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,377 they did. 242 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,727 Ya, that's it, if I get caught 243 00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:26,686 trying to sell you, child services 244 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,730 will be all over me, you'll go to some 245 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:31,908 do-gooder and Fitzy's back in action. 246 00:11:39,786 --> 00:11:41,962 He did not recognize us. 247 00:11:41,962 --> 00:11:44,312 Not a chance. 248 00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,835 What are you so stressed out about? 249 00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:49,709 What am I? 250 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,667 A mechanic? 251 00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:52,668 A man? 252 00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:53,669 I always wanted to be a smurf. 253 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:55,018 Hey Josh, Josh, say a guy wanted to 254 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,237 get caught trying to sell a kid... 255 00:11:56,237 --> 00:11:58,326 You can't sell your baby! 256 00:11:58,326 --> 00:11:59,240 Can you swap him for drugs? 257 00:11:59,240 --> 00:11:59,762 Yes, yes you can. 258 00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:00,850 Good. 259 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:01,764 Go get your stash, and flag down a cop. 260 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:03,113 Flag down my stash, get a cop. 261 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,071 On it! 262 00:12:04,071 --> 00:12:06,769 Officer! Over here! 263 00:12:06,769 --> 00:12:07,770 Hey! Officer! 264 00:12:07,770 --> 00:12:09,119 Oh Richard, can you settle 265 00:12:09,119 --> 00:12:10,773 a disagreement? 266 00:12:10,773 --> 00:12:13,123 This nice lady clearly needs a car, 267 00:12:13,123 --> 00:12:14,734 but seems to think that she doesn't. 268 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:15,691 Kooky, eh? 269 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:17,693 I'm just browsing, actually. 270 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:18,825 I really should be going. 271 00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:24,352 Oh my gosh, is he yours? 272 00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:25,919 Let me see the little guy. 273 00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,703 Ha ha ha - free with every purchase. 274 00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:29,749 Richard is a single father. 275 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,967 The most loving single father on 276 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:31,968 dealership row. 277 00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,404 A real family man. 278 00:12:33,404 --> 00:12:34,971 Hi, handsome boy. 279 00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:38,932 You have got beautiful eyes, 280 00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,325 just like your daddy. 281 00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,806 Hi. 282 00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:45,373 Hi there. 283 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:47,767 Hello cutie pie. 284 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,333 Aww, big smiles. 285 00:13:01,606 --> 00:13:02,390 Well that was magic. 286 00:13:02,390 --> 00:13:03,652 Baby's first sale. 287 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:04,827 And possibly a violation of 288 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:06,002 child labour laws. 289 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,830 What's one thing no other dealer on 290 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:09,049 this strip has? 291 00:13:09,049 --> 00:13:11,181 Drug addiction and a Napoleon complex? 292 00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,443 Fresh meat, face-vagina. 293 00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:13,836 We're re-branding. 294 00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,795 "Fitzpatrick Family Motors." 295 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:18,319 Kid's a shit-sack, but he can sling tin. 296 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,842 Yay, Daddy! 297 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,844 Five. 298 00:13:21,844 --> 00:13:23,063 I got two kilos of biker meth. 299 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,239 Is that enough to buy the baby? 300 00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,675 Really, Fitzpatrick? 301 00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:27,763 You have the right to shut the fuck up 302 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:28,982 baby trafficker. 303 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,853 Ya! 304 00:13:30,853 --> 00:13:31,767 I got the kid. 305 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:32,333 Be careful with the baby. 306 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,203 Fuck. 307 00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,378 Spread em like you like it. 308 00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:35,815 Douche bag. 309 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,775 Joyce, may I call you Joyce? 310 00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:41,342 No. 311 00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:42,909 Joyce, this is not what it looks like. 312 00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,736 - Mr. - Fitzpatrick wasn't trying to 313 00:13:44,736 --> 00:13:47,348 sell his only child for street drugs? 314 00:13:47,348 --> 00:13:49,741 Yep, it is what it looks like. 315 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:51,352 It wasn't real, I was just 316 00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:52,614 joking around with my friend. 317 00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:57,010 One Joshua McTaggart, known drug dealer, 318 00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,620 military deserter - 319 00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,709 And murderer! 320 00:14:00,709 --> 00:14:02,842 A complete fabrication of charges and waste 321 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:04,278 of municipal time. 322 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,714 Is that a perm? 323 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:07,890 Ma'am, Richard's little joke was just an attempt 324 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,632 to find the baby a happy and stable home. 325 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,025 Which he is now willing to provide. 326 00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:14,679 So now you want the kid? 327 00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:16,420 Yeah. 328 00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,640 What's your deal, Fitzpatrick? 329 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,251 C'mon, your honor. 330 00:14:21,251 --> 00:14:22,470 The babies mother abandoned the 331 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,036 little guy. 332 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:23,906 Get back here. 333 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,516 We're doing the best we can. 334 00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:26,691 I'm all he has. 335 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,129 I am his home. 336 00:14:29,129 --> 00:14:31,087 I'm going to call bullshit on that. 337 00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,915 Bull-true! 338 00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,352 Okay, I'll send a case worker for a 339 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,788 home visit today. 340 00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,139 You can prove this baby has a stable and loving 341 00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,662 family environment. 342 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,838 You bet your sweet ass he does. 343 00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,145 Or my name isn't Richard Fucking Fitzpatrick. 344 00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,148 His middle name is actually Lance. 345 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:49,279 Ha ha ha. 346 00:14:49,279 --> 00:14:50,672 Did you know that? 347 00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:51,760 Lance. 348 00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,676 Richard, Grandma Alice would be proud. 349 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:56,547 Yeah? Where's the ho-bag now that I need 350 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:57,897 some babysitting? 351 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,811 Josh, go collect a bunch of crap the babies 352 00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,204 going to need in its... 353 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,466 place where a baby sleeps. 354 00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:03,293 A spaceship? 355 00:15:03,293 --> 00:15:04,251 Yeah, whatever. 356 00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:05,165 Just make sure it's not pink. 357 00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:06,253 On it! 358 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:06,862 Richard, as much as I like to be the 359 00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:07,994 voice of optimism, 360 00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:09,212 where are we supposed to find a house 361 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,648 with no money, no one to vouch for us and-- 362 00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:14,565 No, no, dear God, please no! 363 00:15:16,741 --> 00:15:17,612 Dream on. 364 00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,743 Fuck, Mom. 365 00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,571 I gotta find a home for the kid by four, 366 00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,225 or Child Services is going to take him away. 367 00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,444 Sweet. 368 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,662 I used to have to pay to get you brats 369 00:15:24,662 --> 00:15:25,794 off my hands. 370 00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,187 It's not even your fucking house. 371 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,753 Grandma Alice ever comes by, 372 00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:29,754 I'll be sure to thank her for the 373 00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:31,278 Social Security checks. 374 00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,236 Mrs. Fitzpatrick, Richard does not want 375 00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:34,455 the baby to be taken away. 376 00:15:34,455 --> 00:15:36,196 He's attempting to follow the example 377 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,719 of Grandma Alice, and be a family man. 378 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,025 Oh, Alice. 379 00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,548 Always going on about her pills. 380 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,811 Heart condition this, heart condition that - 381 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,030 if it weren't for the free digs, 382 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,161 I'd track her down and I'd 383 00:15:45,161 --> 00:15:46,380 kill her myself. 384 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,121 I got to get the dealership back on track, 385 00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,950 and this kid. he's our angle. 386 00:15:53,039 --> 00:15:55,128 What's my cut? 387 00:15:55,128 --> 00:15:57,739 One helping of tender heart felt knowledge 388 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:58,653 that you didn't ruin another 389 00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,220 Fitzpatrick child's life! 390 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,612 Suck it, stretch. 391 00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:05,138 Two hits of crank and some lip balm? 392 00:16:07,314 --> 00:16:08,489 Fine. 393 00:16:13,624 --> 00:16:16,062 Ah, homey. 394 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,935 What the fuck is he doing here?! 395 00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,632 Ah, shit showed up with a sob story, 396 00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:22,633 a forty of scotch and a 397 00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,113 Viagra prescription. 398 00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:25,854 Thinks somebody's trying to sabotage 399 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,029 the new dealership. 400 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:28,422 You swore you wouldn't talk to him again 401 00:16:28,422 --> 00:16:29,640 after the church scam. 402 00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,687 Well at least someone appreciates my assets. 403 00:16:32,687 --> 00:16:34,776 Well, a kindly grandpa would reflect well 404 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,821 with child services. 405 00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:38,823 Fine. 406 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:41,348 Don't just stand there, 407 00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:42,566 grab a leg! 408 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:46,962 Take him, TAKE HIM! 409 00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:54,970 Okay, here we go, 410 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:55,797 Come on old man. 411 00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,538 Oh fuck he's heavy. 412 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,583 It's right up there. 413 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,414 Eh Fuck! 414 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:05,763 Meghan was always in charge of 415 00:17:05,763 --> 00:17:07,069 sobering up the old man. 416 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,723 You were my specialty. 417 00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:09,506 Ah, that's nice. 418 00:17:09,506 --> 00:17:10,681 A mother-son memory! 419 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,292 Careful, the book can cause nosebleeds. 420 00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,641 What? 421 00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:14,903 Whoa-ha! 422 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:17,732 Uncle Josh to the rescue. 423 00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,908 Not a zombie, what's up, Mrs. F 424 00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:20,952 Oh great. 425 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,302 Just like when you were a kid. 426 00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:23,694 Inviting every degenerate in the neighborhood 427 00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:25,087 to come and eat our food. 428 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,654 If by food, you mean cigarettes 429 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:27,698 and diet pills. 430 00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:29,004 Alright, you keep an eye on the kid. 431 00:17:29,004 --> 00:17:31,528 And you, put on some fucking clothes Grandma! 432 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:34,836 Don't youever call me that. 433 00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,717 Mama's got a big stick. 434 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:48,719 Do you have a big stick? 435 00:17:48,719 --> 00:17:49,764 Oh yes! 436 00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:54,943 Get in. 437 00:17:54,943 --> 00:17:56,205 Fuck off. 438 00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,424 I think I have a shot with my guard, 439 00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:58,990 and if he sees me talking to you, 440 00:17:58,990 --> 00:17:59,556 I'm going to be back on 441 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:00,470 laundry duty. 442 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:01,602 I need to sober up Dad, 443 00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,038 and you're the only one who knows how. 444 00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,431 Why should I tell you? 445 00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,433 So I won't leave you here in prison to rot 446 00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,912 after the Botox wears off? 447 00:18:07,912 --> 00:18:09,349 Maybe I like it here. 448 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:10,698 Huh? 449 00:18:10,698 --> 00:18:12,439 Maybe these people accept me for who I am. 450 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:13,527 Mika. 451 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:14,354 Latisha. 452 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,616 Mo-Reen. 453 00:18:15,616 --> 00:18:16,617 They're more of a family than 454 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:17,618 you and Mom and Dad will ever be. 455 00:18:17,618 --> 00:18:19,533 Except for the hep-C and crabs. 456 00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:20,969 Come on Meghan! 457 00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:22,275 I'll sign you out for the day. 458 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,711 I'll even spring for that cheese that you like. 459 00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:24,755 A day?! 460 00:18:24,755 --> 00:18:26,453 I'm eligible for house arrest. 461 00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:28,629 If you supervise my release I'll get 462 00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,326 one of those awesome ankle bracelet 463 00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:31,632 monitor thingy's. 464 00:18:31,632 --> 00:18:33,808 And then maybe I'll think about 465 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,592 helping you wake Daddy up. 466 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,028 But I still want the cheese. 467 00:18:37,028 --> 00:18:37,942 Fuck! 468 00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,553 Take it or leave it bro. 469 00:18:39,553 --> 00:18:41,990 I love it here. 470 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,167 Ok, as requested: duct tape, 471 00:18:45,167 --> 00:18:47,604 four C-cell batteries, tinfoil 472 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,824 and one vodka cooler... 473 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:50,651 Though why he needs more alcohol, 474 00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:51,521 I'll never know. 475 00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:52,522 The cooler's for me, idiot. 476 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:53,567 Oh. 477 00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:54,524 Now get out! 478 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:55,612 I need space to work my magic! 479 00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:56,526 Got it. 480 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:57,571 God! 481 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,582 I love you, Daddy, and I will forever 482 00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:09,974 and ever and ever. 483 00:19:09,974 --> 00:19:16,242 AGHHHHHH!!!!!! 484 00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:17,199 Why should I help you? 485 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,461 I'm the one getting fucked here. 486 00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,248 Stop looking at me, homo. 487 00:19:22,248 --> 00:19:23,553 Yeah, what's the plan, asshole? 488 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:25,338 You promised me cheese. 489 00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:26,556 Whoa-whoa-whoa! 490 00:19:26,556 --> 00:19:27,601 How come she get's cheese and we don't? 491 00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:28,993 You know, I have company 492 00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:30,081 coming here at five. 493 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:31,300 No spectators, if you know what I mean. 494 00:19:31,300 --> 00:19:32,388 We'll see about that. 495 00:19:32,388 --> 00:19:33,868 Was that spectator thing towards me? 496 00:19:33,868 --> 00:19:36,479 He told me to come over. 497 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:38,568 Shut your fucking mouth! 498 00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:39,308 I just want my cheese! 499 00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,401 Ugh. I need a drink. 500 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,544 You don't know how to be a family. 501 00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:58,240 You couldn't find your dick 502 00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,241 with two hands. 503 00:19:59,241 --> 00:20:00,373 Give it up Larry. 504 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:01,809 You want to know what I know, mister? 505 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:02,679 If I knew what you knew, 506 00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:03,245 don't you think I'd already 507 00:20:03,245 --> 00:20:04,028 fucking know it? 508 00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:07,945 Fair enough, but what I know is 509 00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:10,687 this family is like a used car. 510 00:20:10,687 --> 00:20:12,950 Yeah, it's an odd assortment of rusty, 511 00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,387 broken parts, but when you 512 00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:15,649 put it together, it's got the 513 00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,259 potential to drive. 514 00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,739 Until the warranty runs out. 515 00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,523 Not my problem. 516 00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:22,264 It's a new era, Richard. 517 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:24,788 Fitzpatrick Family Motors. 518 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:27,095 It's what you do. 519 00:20:27,095 --> 00:20:28,314 It's what you all do. 520 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,750 You sell cars. 521 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,360 And you are going to continue that legacy 522 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,535 or my name is not - 523 00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:33,449 Shut the fuck up - 524 00:20:33,449 --> 00:20:37,540 Larry. 525 00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,023 Attention! 526 00:20:42,023 --> 00:20:43,807 Listen to the cockswab. 527 00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:45,809 Josh, do you have anything that can 528 00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,856 make his house smell a little less illegal? 529 00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:51,685 Ohhh. 530 00:20:51,685 --> 00:20:53,121 Aurora Indica. 531 00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,557 Crossed with Afghan buds and other Indica strains. 532 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:55,428 Yes, yes. 533 00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:56,516 I've a California Skunk 534 00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:57,778 that can neutralize the smell while 535 00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,084 simultaneously providing a 536 00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,564 pleasant high. 537 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,958 Huh, how domestic of you. 538 00:21:05,525 --> 00:21:07,570 That's it! 539 00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,529 I'm a domestic god. 540 00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:12,619 You. 541 00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:13,228 Put on some clothes. 542 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,534 Yeah! 543 00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,187 I found this twinset and string of pearls 544 00:21:16,187 --> 00:21:17,885 I took the liberty of laying out for you. 545 00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:21,323 Those are my anal beads. 546 00:21:21,323 --> 00:21:22,411 And you. 547 00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:23,978 Focus on what's really important here. 548 00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:26,372 Cold. Hard. Cash. 549 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:27,808 I can get behind that. 550 00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,026 Okay, okay, okay, what about me, 551 00:21:29,026 --> 00:21:30,071 what do I get? 552 00:21:30,071 --> 00:21:31,507 Oh yes, you are actually welcome 553 00:21:31,507 --> 00:21:32,639 to leave. 554 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:35,424 Oh that's funny! 555 00:21:35,424 --> 00:21:36,599 Oh, what's that? 556 00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:37,296 Oh, it's just the sound of my 557 00:21:37,296 --> 00:21:38,688 ankle monitor - Ah! 558 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:35,441 Look, Mom. 559 00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:36,703 King Kong cock. 560 00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:39,227 Josh? 561 00:22:39,227 --> 00:22:40,402 Yeah. 562 00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:40,968 Grab a hold. 563 00:22:50,194 --> 00:22:51,370 Oh oh oh oh oh oh! 564 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,806 Its ok its ok its ok. 565 00:22:52,806 --> 00:22:54,329 Give the kid to Meghan 566 00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:55,330 There you go 567 00:22:55,330 --> 00:22:56,549 Can you get that kid to shut up? 568 00:22:57,724 --> 00:22:58,289 Jesus. 569 00:23:00,204 --> 00:23:01,510 Oh the book. 570 00:23:01,510 --> 00:23:03,599 About face! 571 00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,514 Ok, good good good. 572 00:23:05,514 --> 00:23:07,168 Jesus, sit still, will you old man? 573 00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:08,474 I'll sit still when you blow me. 574 00:23:08,474 --> 00:23:10,606 It feels like I got a SCUD missile 575 00:23:10,606 --> 00:23:12,173 in my pants. 576 00:23:12,173 --> 00:23:14,218 I'll tell them you love kids. 577 00:23:14,218 --> 00:23:15,176 No no no. 578 00:23:15,176 --> 00:23:16,960 Perhaps not that, not that! 579 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:18,397 OK, here we go. 580 00:23:21,748 --> 00:23:23,489 So we're a fucking family. 581 00:23:23,489 --> 00:23:24,751 Now what? 582 00:23:24,751 --> 00:23:26,405 A few words. 583 00:23:28,450 --> 00:23:30,452 We've finally come together to give this 584 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:33,499 baby a home and - 585 00:23:33,499 --> 00:23:35,152 And exploit his ass to sell cars. 586 00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,810 Solidarity! 587 00:23:43,813 --> 00:23:46,729 Grandma Alice, when we find you, 588 00:23:46,729 --> 00:23:52,561 and bring you home, you will be proud. 589 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:55,956 Oi... 590 00:23:55,956 --> 00:23:57,131 Oh a camera! 591 00:23:57,131 --> 00:23:59,220 Camera, there must be one somewhere. 592 00:23:59,220 --> 00:24:00,482 Stay, Cheese! 593 00:24:03,398 --> 00:24:04,878 I'll check the basement. 594 00:24:04,878 --> 00:24:05,792 Take him! 595 00:24:05,792 --> 00:24:07,794 It's OK, come here buddy. 596 00:24:14,365 --> 00:24:21,764 ♪ I art weak but thou art strong ♪ 597 00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:29,511 ♪ Jesus keep me from all wrong ♪ 598 00:24:29,511 --> 00:24:35,909 ♪ I'll be satisfied as long ♪ 599 00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:44,918 ♪ As I walk let me walk close to thee ♪ 600 00:24:44,918 --> 00:24:52,665 ♪ Just a closer walk with thee ♪ 601 00:24:52,665 --> 00:25:00,237 ♪ Grant it Jesus is my plea ♪ 602 00:25:00,237 --> 00:25:06,896 ♪ Daily walking close to thee ♪ 603 00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:17,211 ♪ Let it be, dear Lord, let it be ♪ 604 00:25:36,447 --> 00:25:38,580 Grandma Alice! 605 00:25:38,580 --> 00:25:46,283 ♪ Let it be dear Lord Let it be ♪ 606 00:25:46,283 --> 00:25:50,113 Well, shockingly, everything seems 607 00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:51,071 to be in order. 608 00:25:57,556 --> 00:26:00,994 I try and I try and I try 609 00:26:00,994 --> 00:26:04,388 and I give and I give and I give. 610 00:26:04,388 --> 00:26:05,476 What do you want from Larry? 611 00:26:05,476 --> 00:26:07,435 Do you want my tie, here you go, 612 00:26:07,435 --> 00:26:08,958 it's my favorite tie. 613 00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,133 What do you want? 614 00:26:10,133 --> 00:26:12,788 Do you want my shirt off my back huh? 615 00:26:12,788 --> 00:26:15,312 Oh God, Grandma Alice 616 00:26:15,312 --> 00:26:19,273 was the last good Fitzpatrick and you 617 00:26:19,273 --> 00:26:21,362 left her in the basement! 618 00:26:21,362 --> 00:26:23,320 In the basement! 619 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,321 Oh, Oh God! 620 00:26:24,321 --> 00:26:25,932 There's a basement? 621 00:26:25,932 --> 00:26:27,934 I'm sorry baby with no name. 622 00:26:27,934 --> 00:26:30,545 There's no goodness here. 623 00:26:30,545 --> 00:26:31,633 What do you want from Larry? 624 00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:34,462 There is no goodness here. 625 00:26:34,462 --> 00:26:35,332 Ahhh! 626 00:26:35,332 --> 00:26:37,421 NO GOODNESS HERE! 627 00:26:37,421 --> 00:26:38,597 Ahhhh! 628 00:26:38,597 --> 00:26:39,510 What do you want? 629 00:26:39,510 --> 00:26:40,990 That guy live here? 630 00:26:40,990 --> 00:26:42,426 No. 631 00:26:42,426 --> 00:26:43,732 Ah. 632 00:26:43,732 --> 00:26:45,299 We'll see you next week. 633 00:26:45,299 --> 00:26:49,042 Ah, what do you mean next week? 634 00:26:49,999 --> 00:26:51,305 Court-ordered visits for 635 00:26:51,305 --> 00:26:52,654 the first six months, 636 00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:54,003 Mr. Fitzpatrick. 637 00:26:54,003 --> 00:26:55,918 All Fitzpatricks in the same home, 638 00:26:55,918 --> 00:26:58,486 so we can keep an eye on you. 639 00:26:58,486 --> 00:27:03,099 Oh, and ah, Judge Joyce - 640 00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:04,753 sends her best. 41473

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