All language subtitles for Call Me Fitz (2010) S02E11 (1080p AMZN WEB-DL H264 SDR DDP 5.1 English - HONE)_track3_[eng]

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:24,067 --> 00:00:27,810 Lots of guys will end up dead on a slab in a low-rent morgue, 2 00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:31,857 but once in a lifetime someone special comes along. 3 00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:39,561 Unique, epic, awe-inspiring. 4 00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:44,305 I'm talking about a dying breed. 5 00:00:44,305 --> 00:00:49,092 A real live, guns blazing, bloody-knuckled goddamn hero. 6 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:53,183 Everybody dies, 7 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:57,666 but it took a guy with a set of stones like Richard Fitzpatrick 8 00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,451 to show you how to live. 9 00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,888 Make no bones about it. 10 00:01:02,888 --> 00:01:06,631 Fitz was a fucking legend. 11 00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,807 Hell, I get more pussy when I'm dead 12 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:11,158 than most guys get when they're alive. 13 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:13,682 I don't think that's appropriate. 14 00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:16,685 Way to kill the mood, asshole! 15 00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:19,601 We shouldn't even be writing an obituary at all, Richard. 16 00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:21,733 We should be fighting to live! 17 00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:22,821 Who gives a shit, Larry? 18 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,954 I'm going to be dead by the-- 19 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:26,129 When am I going to be dead? 20 00:01:26,129 --> 00:01:27,739 The beaver moon! 21 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:29,828 Oh, God, you sound like a broken record. 22 00:01:29,828 --> 00:01:31,526 We've still got another 72 hours, 23 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:32,570 and you know, your death isn't a sure thing. 24 00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:35,051 And the record plays on. 25 00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:37,140 Suicidal tendencies are a sign of low self-esteem. 26 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:39,229 You need to realize that people value you, 27 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,753 and I will show you that you are a good person! 28 00:01:41,753 --> 00:01:43,103 Fuck good! 29 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,148 Nice guys finish last, and do you know why? 30 00:01:45,148 --> 00:01:47,846 Uh, yeah, because they're so busy being nice. 31 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,979 Because they're pussies. 32 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:52,286 Heroes burn out in a blaze of glory, 33 00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:53,852 and I'm going to get mine. 34 00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:56,899 Now, where was I? 35 00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:16,701 ♪ Without you 36 00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:19,356 ♪ I'd find my smile 37 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,967 ♪ Without you 38 00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:24,709 ♪ I'd have won by a mile 39 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,972 ♪ Without you 40 00:02:26,972 --> 00:02:30,802 ♪ Oh, life would be so grand 41 00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,717 ♪ Without you 42 00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:36,330 ♪ I'm half a man 43 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:49,865 ♪ Without you 44 00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,005 I feel like an orphan, man! 45 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:02,704 Like an orphan who lost a brother. 46 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,009 What the fuck is wrong with you? 47 00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:05,141 There's so many things I wanted to tell you. 48 00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:06,490 So many things to say! 49 00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,144 Oh, God! 50 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:10,277 Fitzy? 51 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,669 Larry said he was writing your obituary. 52 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,541 That doesn't mean I'm fucking dead! 53 00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:15,891 Oh, what the fuck? 54 00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:18,328 Oh, you're so solid for a ghost! 55 00:03:18,328 --> 00:03:20,200 And warm! 56 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,592 Go walk through that wall. 57 00:03:21,592 --> 00:03:23,855 How about I walk my fucking fist through your face? 58 00:03:23,855 --> 00:03:26,815 Still got that old Fitzy sense of humour, eh? 59 00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,339 So, what is it? 60 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:30,601 Is some unfinished business 61 00:03:30,601 --> 00:03:31,689 keeping you chained to the earth? 62 00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:32,690 Like, "Ahh!" 63 00:03:32,690 --> 00:03:34,083 You know what? 64 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,259 Sure, I'm a ghost and I have unfinished business. 65 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:39,915 Look, what I need is a blaze of glory worthy of the Fitz name. 66 00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:43,353 What I need is to go out with a bang. 67 00:03:43,353 --> 00:03:44,833 Got it. 68 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,704 I got a whole box here full of Fitz awesomeness. 69 00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,793 Check it out. 70 00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:51,666 Some acid, a full set of teeth. 71 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,103 First paycheque. 72 00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:57,019 Oh, yeah! 73 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:59,151 You, me and old Mrs. Mulroney. 74 00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:01,893 Mrs. Mulroney? 75 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,199 Now that was a fucking dream car. 76 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,722 Yeah, until some asshole stole her. 77 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:06,768 Eleventh grade. 78 00:04:06,768 --> 00:04:09,336 I was going to beat Kyle Coxwell's 79 00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,728 cross-county speed record. 80 00:04:10,728 --> 00:04:14,254 Commercial Drive to Walker's Point in 14:28. 81 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,864 Wonder what ever happened to Kyle? 82 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:16,952 Fuck Kyle. 83 00:04:16,952 --> 00:04:18,083 Yeah, fuck Kyle. 84 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:19,650 That record was going to be all mine. 85 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:20,999 It still can be! 86 00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,262 Josh, you're a fucking genius! 87 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,526 The doctors did tell my mom I was special. 88 00:04:25,526 --> 00:04:27,571 Hey, is Casper as friendly as they say? 89 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:33,055 Mr. Fitzpatrick, I hate to disturb you. 90 00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:35,231 I can see you're a busy man. 91 00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:36,406 If you hated to disturb me, 92 00:04:36,406 --> 00:04:37,842 then you wouldn't fucking do it, would you? 93 00:04:37,842 --> 00:04:39,931 Come on, babe. 94 00:04:39,931 --> 00:04:41,672 Shake it like you mean it! 95 00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:46,460 The thing is, I'm doing a little research on your son. 96 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,940 Oh, maybe you can find out why he's such a fuck-knuckle. 97 00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:51,421 Mm-hmm, yeah, but I was wondering, 98 00:04:51,421 --> 00:04:55,382 do you remember, has he ever done anything nice? 99 00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:57,906 Do I look like I have any time for jokes, kid? 100 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,734 Oh, I know Richie. 101 00:04:59,734 --> 00:05:01,605 There was one time I had an infected uvula, 102 00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,346 and couldn't do anything oral. 103 00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,870 So, he let me give him a foot job, same price. 104 00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:08,830 Now that is a gentleman. 105 00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:10,571 Foot job? You do those? 106 00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:11,876 Mm-hmm! 107 00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,314 Take off your pants, sailor! 108 00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,366 Come on, fuck me like you owe me money! 109 00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,416 There she is. 110 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:32,201 Told you Kasip could find her. 111 00:05:32,201 --> 00:05:36,814 Oh, Mrs. Mulroney, what have they done to you? 112 00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:39,687 "Namaste," it means "I recognize the divinity in you." 113 00:05:39,687 --> 00:05:41,863 Might as well drive a tampon. 114 00:05:41,863 --> 00:05:43,865 Can I kill whoever did this? 115 00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,606 No, no one's killing anyone, Josh. 116 00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:46,955 I just want my car back. 117 00:05:46,955 --> 00:05:50,001 Got your back, bro! 118 00:05:52,308 --> 00:05:53,614 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 119 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:55,398 You don't want to drive sitting on broken glass. 120 00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:56,965 You'll cut your bum! 121 00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,445 Yeah, good point. 122 00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:02,231 Yeah, hey? 123 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,105 Fucking baby seat! 124 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,280 Punt! 125 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,499 All right, let's go, Fitzy! 126 00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:10,935 I'm taking her back! 127 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,161 Oh, yeah! 128 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,431 Meghan, wait, wait! 129 00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,998 I'm trying to track down a good deed 130 00:06:29,998 --> 00:06:31,260 your brother may have done for you, 131 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,218 for his obituary. 132 00:06:33,218 --> 00:06:36,178 Dick has never done anything nice for me. 133 00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:37,222 You know, one time he even killed my cat! 134 00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:38,963 Anything at all! 135 00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:39,964 Maybe he taught you an important life lesson 136 00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:40,965 when you were kids? 137 00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,967 His name was Orange Cat. 138 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:44,795 I was 6 years old. 139 00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:47,319 I came home one day from school and he was gone, 140 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:49,017 and Dick told me that he went to L.A. 141 00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:50,453 to star in cat food commercials. 142 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,673 So, one day I brought a can of cat food to school, 143 00:06:52,673 --> 00:06:54,283 you know, for show and tell? 144 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:55,763 And I said, "This is my cat! 145 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,461 This is Orange Cat! And he's a star!" 146 00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:03,161 And they all laughed, even the teacher. 147 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:06,643 I'm sorry for your loss. 148 00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:08,036 Dick, Dick, Dick. 149 00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:11,169 The only thing he ever thinks about is himself! 150 00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:13,258 Maybe that's what I need to do. 151 00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:14,869 You know, like Dick's got his thing. 152 00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,479 Being an asshole cat-killer. 153 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,350 Maybe I need to find my thing. 154 00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:20,440 You mean, like a hobby? 155 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,704 Yeah, a life's purpose! 156 00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,879 Thank you, Larry! 157 00:07:28,578 --> 00:07:30,362 So, nothing at all then? 158 00:07:30,362 --> 00:07:33,844 Meghan? 159 00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,630 Can you restore her to her former glory? 160 00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:38,414 Fuck yeah! 161 00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:39,981 In a day? 162 00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,112 Fuck maybe. 163 00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,462 Where have you been? 164 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,463 Out stealing cars, Mom. 165 00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,162 You can see dead people too? 166 00:07:47,162 --> 00:07:49,077 I thought I was the only one with the fifth sense. 167 00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,687 I thought we went over this, Josh. 168 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,167 Wow! 169 00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,777 I came here to ask Josh about your good attributes, 170 00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:56,693 only to find out that you've been out stealing this vehicle? 171 00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:58,869 It was mine first! 172 00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,523 Josh is going to fix it up real nice 173 00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,612 so I can beat Kyle Cock-socket's speed record. 174 00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,222 Kyle Coxwell? 175 00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,094 Didn't he race Dead Man's Curve to set that record? 176 00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,835 That's Dead Person's Curve now. 177 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,663 Long story. 178 00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,969 This dyke wiped out on her Harley and... 179 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:14,102 It's actually kind of a short story, Josh. 180 00:08:14,102 --> 00:08:15,625 And what are you, the story police? 181 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,540 That doesn't exist. 182 00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,455 Kyle nearly died setting that record. 183 00:08:19,455 --> 00:08:20,935 So? 184 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:22,240 I'll either beat his record, or die like James Dean. 185 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,241 Either way, I'm a fucking legend! 186 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,242 Yeah! 187 00:08:24,242 --> 00:08:25,722 Then, I guess I have no choice. 188 00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:27,245 Bingo, Larry! 189 00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,508 You don't have a choice! 190 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:29,726 Josh, tell him what he's won! 191 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,336 Well, Fitz, looks like he's won a big old bag 192 00:08:31,336 --> 00:08:34,949 of "Fuck off, Larry!" 193 00:08:34,949 --> 00:08:35,906 I will go to the police. 194 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,952 You haven't got the balls! 195 00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:41,999 I have got sizable balls, mister! 196 00:08:41,999 --> 00:08:45,046 Don't worry, boss. I got this. 197 00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:46,134 It's go time, little man. 198 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,875 Okay, okay, fine! 199 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:49,877 Look, I'll make you a deal. 200 00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:52,183 If I can find proof of even one good deed that you're done 201 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,272 by the end of tomorrow, you don't race. 202 00:08:54,272 --> 00:08:55,883 Really? 203 00:08:57,711 --> 00:08:59,234 Fill your boots, little man. 204 00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:00,888 But until then, you leave me the fuck alone! 205 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:04,282 Deal! 206 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,328 Ahh! 207 00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:15,076 Hello, hello, hi! 208 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,904 Will you go away, gangly one? 209 00:09:16,904 --> 00:09:18,514 I am not in the mood for your chicanery. 210 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,734 Did you stop think for a moment that I might be? 211 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,126 Are you? 212 00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,519 Of course not! 213 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:25,042 Be nice if you asked. 214 00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:27,523 Guys, uh, listen, I've just got a quick question 215 00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:29,917 which I'm fairly certain I know the answer to. 216 00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:34,008 But in the spirit of digging deep and male camaraderie, 217 00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:38,708 has Richard ever done anything nice for you? 218 00:09:38,708 --> 00:09:40,667 Now is not the time for jokes. 219 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,060 I'm not joking! I'm desperate! 220 00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,280 He's going to try to break the county speed record. 221 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:47,630 Does he really think he can beat 222 00:09:47,630 --> 00:09:51,155 Kyle Coxwell's point-to-point run of 14:28? 223 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,201 Such ego! 224 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,159 I know of only one other man with an ego that big. 225 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:59,424 Look, if he gets the parts he needs to fix that old car, 226 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,731 taking Dead Person's Curve at that speed? 227 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,080 That is a suicide mission! 228 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:05,039 He means to take his own life? 229 00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:07,781 Please, please, if there's anything, anything at all! 230 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,218 Has he ever shown you any act of kindness, 231 00:10:10,218 --> 00:10:12,350 or anything that made you happy? 232 00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:13,874 You know what would make us happy? 233 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:14,875 If he were dead. 234 00:10:14,875 --> 00:10:15,919 Yes! 235 00:10:18,661 --> 00:10:20,576 You know what this means? 236 00:10:20,576 --> 00:10:23,013 That twisted party will divide us no more! 237 00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:25,755 Our mutual hatred for all things Fitzpatrick 238 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,323 has brought us back together! 239 00:10:28,323 --> 00:10:30,368 Oh, cousin! 240 00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:39,682 Some of us are trying to work! 241 00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,342 So, which way are you going to go with this? 242 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,343 I'm sorry? 243 00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:50,127 The speech. 244 00:10:50,127 --> 00:10:52,956 You know, the blah-blah, who gives a fuck blah speech? 245 00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,655 The one where you remind me that I just beat cancer, 246 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:59,833 I got a new kid on the way and it's time to pull up my socks. 247 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:03,532 This isn't my first go-round on the crazy train, honey. 248 00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,622 Oh, I have a speech, but that's not it. 249 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:10,104 This is a business arrangement, and I'm fine with that. 250 00:11:10,104 --> 00:11:12,323 You got what you wanted, 251 00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:14,630 and now, it's time to discuss what I want. 252 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:17,154 You got what you want. 253 00:11:17,154 --> 00:11:19,940 You played a short game to try and get even with my son. 254 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:23,291 But me, I'm long haul. 255 00:11:23,291 --> 00:11:25,641 I play for keeps, 256 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:27,991 and you and I both know that you're not going anywhere 257 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,906 with a bun in your oven. 258 00:11:33,257 --> 00:11:35,259 Hey, you know what a foot job is? 259 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:45,356 Yodel-ay, mother-fucker! 260 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:47,968 What, you been out 261 00:11:47,968 --> 00:11:49,578 square-dancing all night, asshole? 262 00:11:49,578 --> 00:11:53,016 Fuck, is it time? 263 00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:54,844 Well, prep work's done, dude. 264 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,933 I don't know how, though. 265 00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,066 It's like the car elves visited last night, 266 00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,371 and did all my work for me. 267 00:12:00,371 --> 00:12:02,025 Thank you, car elves! 268 00:12:02,025 --> 00:12:03,897 You are honest and just! 269 00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,072 Josh, stay with me! 270 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:08,249 How we doing on Mrs. Mulroney? 271 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,772 440 Magnum, check. 272 00:12:09,772 --> 00:12:11,600 Her shifter, check. 273 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,558 Dana-60, posi-track rear-end, check. 274 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,952 When I say "check", it means I don't have them. 275 00:12:15,952 --> 00:12:17,780 What the fuck is wrong with you? 276 00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:19,216 Fitz, I need parts. 277 00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,740 Custom, vintage shit! 278 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,306 You know how long it takes to order them? 279 00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:25,005 Longer than it takes to steal them from the Ruptals? 280 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,876 Hmm. 281 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:29,661 What the fuck? 282 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:35,798 Tire spikes? 283 00:12:35,798 --> 00:12:38,192 Got to stay two steps ahead, bro. 284 00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:39,759 Trust me, you don't want to feel the warm slap 285 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,238 of human entrails on your face, 286 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,458 and then realize you don't have an exit strategy. 287 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:44,676 What the fuck is this? 288 00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:48,158 Ah, this is for special occasions. 289 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:49,681 I've been waiting weeks to use this again. 290 00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,597 Yeah, maybe we should huddle up and talk strategy? 291 00:12:52,597 --> 00:12:55,078 No, no, no. No time. 292 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,340 Synchronize watches. 293 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,169 Commence Operation: Steal Their Shit. 294 00:12:59,169 --> 00:13:02,303 It's going to be awesome! 295 00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:11,138 Holy fuck! 296 00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:12,139 It's everything we need for the car! 297 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:14,184 Mother-fucker! 298 00:13:26,153 --> 00:13:27,415 Cops, cops, cops! 299 00:13:27,415 --> 00:13:29,156 Hide the car! 300 00:13:29,156 --> 00:13:31,245 Priorities, dude! 301 00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,562 Got you right where I want you, Fitz. 302 00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,042 This doesn't look like your bedroom! 303 00:13:46,042 --> 00:13:48,349 Stolen car. 304 00:13:48,349 --> 00:13:49,872 No witnesses, 305 00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:52,744 except someone left an envelope full of cash at the scene, 306 00:13:52,744 --> 00:13:54,790 with your business card attached. 307 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:57,575 Stupid fuck! 308 00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:58,881 What, I didn't do anything! 309 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,535 No, Larry! 310 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,885 Is there any way I could entice you 311 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,713 to overlook this slight oversight? 312 00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,715 Oh, I'm not going to arrest you. 313 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:08,848 I never saw a thing. 314 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,893 Well, that was easy. 315 00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:14,070 Arresting you might make my month, 316 00:14:14,070 --> 00:14:16,464 but watching you die in a car wreck, 317 00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,335 that'll make my year. 318 00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:24,864 That's it, I'm going to kill that fuck. 319 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,865 Oh, really? 320 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,127 You get to kill Larry, 321 00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:28,215 but I can't kill the guy who messed up the car? 322 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:30,260 Double standard, much? 323 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,137 You weasely traitor fuck! 324 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:39,400 You left money for a stolen car? 325 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,098 No, no, you bought it back, and at a premium. 326 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,187 Which means technically, you did something good! 327 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,276 You left that money, douche-tard! 328 00:14:46,276 --> 00:14:48,104 Yes, but I am your conscience, Richard, 329 00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,019 so that means you did the good thing too. 330 00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,673 And now, you don't have to prove anything. 331 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,022 Yeah, you cheated! 332 00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,068 I... I found a loophole. 333 00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,374 You've been asking everyone I know 334 00:14:57,374 --> 00:14:58,636 if I've ever done anything good, 335 00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,116 and that's the best you can come up with? 336 00:15:00,116 --> 00:15:01,422 A fucking loophole? 337 00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:04,207 All of your posturing, your ego-ridden tirades. 338 00:15:04,207 --> 00:15:06,253 You are really just a scared little boy 339 00:15:06,253 --> 00:15:07,776 who has accepted his own mortality. 340 00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,343 Damn straight! 341 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,214 All the more reason to go out like a fucking legend. 342 00:15:11,214 --> 00:15:13,303 Richard, I don't want you to die. 343 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:15,131 Why the fuck do you care? 344 00:15:15,131 --> 00:15:17,177 No one else does. 345 00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,135 Now fuck off, I got a record to break. 346 00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,058 You double-checked the map? 347 00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,886 Verified the route twice, buddy. 348 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,193 Should be able to beat Kyle's record by a full 10 minutes. 349 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:35,282 Give or take 10 minutes. 350 00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:36,761 Hell, yeah. 351 00:15:36,761 --> 00:15:39,677 She is good to go, buddy! 352 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:42,463 How about one for the road? 353 00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:44,204 Hells yeah! 354 00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:49,949 Until Stupid gets here, 355 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,428 what do you say we go out and bowl? 356 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:52,821 What the fuck is this? 357 00:15:52,821 --> 00:15:56,216 What does it look like? It's your wake. 358 00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,913 A little fucking early, don't you think? 359 00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,219 Most assuredly not! 360 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:02,396 Your impending foolish death is almost certain. 361 00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:04,746 And it has reunited our family, Mr. Fitzpatrick. 362 00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:07,227 Could someone translate for Pardeep over here? 363 00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,446 We delivered the car parts to you! 364 00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:12,449 So you could complete your moving coffin of steel! 365 00:16:12,449 --> 00:16:14,625 Ah, there's no need to thank us. 366 00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:16,236 Your demise will be good enough. 367 00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:17,454 I made a fortune on tickets, 368 00:16:17,454 --> 00:16:19,848 thanks to your pal Larry here. 369 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,198 He called up every asshole that you've ever known. 370 00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:24,679 No, Richard, this was not my idea! 371 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:27,987 Hey, one more word and I'll arrest you for obstruction. 372 00:16:29,336 --> 00:16:30,293 Let's get this show on the road! 373 00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:31,512 - Speech! - Speech! 374 00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:32,513 Come on! 375 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,123 Speech, speech, speech! 376 00:16:34,123 --> 00:16:35,124 Speech! 377 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:37,431 This must be so hard for you. 378 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:40,390 Speech, speech, speech! 379 00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:43,524 Speech, speech! 380 00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:46,048 Ugh! 381 00:16:52,402 --> 00:16:53,577 I don't know what to say. 382 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:57,233 Some asshole was telling me that my life 383 00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,541 wasn't worth fuck-all because I wasn't a nice guy. 384 00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,413 I figured the guy was just full of shit, 385 00:17:03,413 --> 00:17:06,851 but now, seeing you all here, 386 00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:11,595 I... I kind of... 387 00:17:11,595 --> 00:17:15,208 Uh, Richard, Richard, there's still time. 388 00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,079 Just tell them how you feel. 389 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:18,950 Atone for your transgressions. 390 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,126 You can do this! 391 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:21,431 Look, the fact that they're all here 392 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,260 means that they care about you on some level! 393 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:28,395 Come on! 394 00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:31,137 That's right. 395 00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:33,400 You do care! 396 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,751 All of you made the trek all the way down here. 397 00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:40,015 So let me ask you something, assholes. 398 00:17:40,015 --> 00:17:43,497 Who's going to turn up when you kick off, huh? 399 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:54,986 Yeah, that's what I thought. 400 00:17:54,986 --> 00:17:56,727 So guess what, fuckers? 401 00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,686 That means I win! 402 00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:01,689 Even when I'm being a dick, I get all this! 403 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,777 I am a fucking legend! 404 00:18:02,777 --> 00:18:03,908 Hey, fuck you! 405 00:18:05,301 --> 00:18:09,871 I'll see all you fucks at the finish line! 406 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,405 Why aren't you at my brother's going-to-die party? 407 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:25,321 I'm not really in a celebrating mood. 408 00:18:27,236 --> 00:18:28,759 Is it just me, or is something bothering you? 409 00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:31,371 Don't worry about it. 410 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:34,200 That'd be a lot easier if you didn't have a gun in your hand. 411 00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,854 They are intimidating, aren't they? 412 00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:39,292 All that power. 413 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:42,730 The immediacy of violence. 414 00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:45,776 Take it for a spin. 415 00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:06,145 Ex-husband. 416 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,495 Cellulite. 417 00:19:08,495 --> 00:19:10,279 And one for you, Dick. 418 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,242 You know, I never met a problem I couldn't solve with a bullet. 419 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:21,072 Show me how to load it. 420 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,789 What are you doing here? 421 00:19:41,789 --> 00:19:43,269 Just waiting to die. 422 00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,968 Okay, can you hurry up? 423 00:19:46,968 --> 00:19:50,319 I just got to lock up. 424 00:19:50,319 --> 00:19:52,147 I failed Richard. 425 00:19:52,147 --> 00:19:54,584 I couldn't come up with one good thing 426 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,370 that he's ever done for anybody. 427 00:19:57,370 --> 00:19:59,198 Never! 428 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,418 That's not true, man. 429 00:20:02,418 --> 00:20:05,639 Fitzy does a lot of good things. 430 00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:08,294 That time he pretended to be a cop, 431 00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,861 took all those drugs away from a bunch of kids. 432 00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,080 And then, we ended up doing them. 433 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,124 I give up! 434 00:20:13,124 --> 00:20:17,564 Okay, do animals count? 435 00:20:17,564 --> 00:20:19,653 Meghan had this pet cat. 436 00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,263 Orange Cat. 437 00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:22,525 Yeah, yeah, whatever. 438 00:20:22,525 --> 00:20:25,528 Ken hated that cat, wanted to put it down. 439 00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:29,402 Fitzy sold that cat to a talent agent in L.A. 440 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,360 Ended up in a bunch of commercials and stuff. 441 00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:35,016 Josh, you know, sometimes when bad things happen, 442 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:38,454 people don't tell the truth 443 00:20:38,454 --> 00:20:43,546 because a lie hurts a little less. 444 00:20:43,546 --> 00:20:46,984 Okay, first off, 445 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:51,162 don't talk to me like I'm a retard. 446 00:20:51,162 --> 00:20:52,599 Sorry. 447 00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:57,778 And second? 448 00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,302 There you go again, like I'm a retard! 449 00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:03,479 I know there's a second thing, Larry! 450 00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,525 Just... 451 00:21:08,658 --> 00:21:11,313 Bam! 452 00:21:11,313 --> 00:21:12,706 Fitz's first paycheque, 453 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:14,751 for selling that cat to the talent agent. 454 00:21:18,407 --> 00:21:20,496 So, Richard really is a good person. 455 00:21:20,496 --> 00:21:22,455 My work here is done. 456 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:27,547 Oh, no, it isn't! 457 00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:31,638 Oh, shit! 458 00:21:31,638 --> 00:21:34,423 It's Mrs. Mulroney's brake cylinder. 459 00:21:34,423 --> 00:21:37,644 Then, why isn't it in Richard's car? 460 00:21:37,644 --> 00:21:39,689 Fucking elves! 461 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:51,919 I know a shortcut to Dead Person's Curve. 462 00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:53,529 - We can beat him there! - Go, go, go! 463 00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:05,541 ♪ It's not in the way that you hold me ♪ 464 00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:09,632 ♪ It's not in the way you say you care ♪ 465 00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:13,506 ♪ It's not in the way you've been treating my friends ♪ 466 00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,116 Get over! 467 00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:20,121 ♪ It's not in the way that you stay till the end ♪ 468 00:22:20,121 --> 00:22:22,515 ♪ It's not in the way you look 469 00:22:22,515 --> 00:22:24,125 ♪ Or the things that you say that you do ♪ 470 00:22:24,125 --> 00:22:28,172 ♪ Hold the line 471 00:22:28,172 --> 00:22:30,697 ♪ Love isn't always on time 472 00:22:30,697 --> 00:22:34,483 ♪ Woah woah woah 473 00:22:34,483 --> 00:22:37,965 ♪ Hold the line 474 00:22:37,965 --> 00:22:40,533 ♪ Love isn't always on time 475 00:22:40,533 --> 00:22:42,578 He should be here by now. 476 00:22:42,578 --> 00:22:45,189 Yeah, even if he took that other road through the Hennessy farm. 477 00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,800 Come to think of it, 478 00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:50,456 he'd have avoided Dead Person's Curve altogether. 479 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:53,415 Brakes, fuck! 480 00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:56,200 Fuck! 481 00:22:59,552 --> 00:23:03,599 Richard! 482 00:23:03,599 --> 00:23:05,514 No! 483 00:23:17,874 --> 00:23:22,444 14 minutes and 27 seconds. 484 00:23:22,444 --> 00:23:25,621 Fuck you, Kyle, I win! 485 00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:27,449 Richard, Richard! 486 00:23:27,449 --> 00:23:29,016 Is the car okay? 487 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:33,150 Richard, you took an alternate route to avoid certain death. 488 00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:37,633 No, I took a different route 'cause I do things my way! 489 00:23:37,633 --> 00:23:39,026 And you did something good, partner! 490 00:23:39,026 --> 00:23:40,288 Orange Cat! 491 00:23:40,288 --> 00:23:45,075 Yeah, that fucking cat still owes me money. 492 00:23:45,075 --> 00:23:46,555 Let's worry about that later. 493 00:23:46,555 --> 00:23:48,296 Right now, we've still got some living to do, mister! 494 00:23:48,296 --> 00:23:50,820 At least for another day or so. 495 00:23:50,820 --> 00:23:52,126 Oh, your shoe's untied. 496 00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:53,736 Hey, remember when we were 8? 497 00:23:53,736 --> 00:23:54,650 The bunny ears go in the rabbit hole! 498 00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:57,610 I fucking got it-- oh! 499 00:23:57,610 --> 00:23:59,481 Ugh! 500 00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,048 Richard? 501 00:24:01,048 --> 00:24:04,007 Fitzy? Fitzy! 502 00:24:04,007 --> 00:24:07,620 But in the end, it wasn't a blazing car crash 503 00:24:07,620 --> 00:24:10,797 that killed Richard Fitzpatrick, or syphilis. 504 00:24:10,797 --> 00:24:13,539 It was his fucking conscience. 505 00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:16,585 It's you! 35385

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