All language subtitles for Beverly.Hills.90210.S08E28.Skin.Deep.1080p.CRAV.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

To Muntz, the first
of my KEG brethren

to freefall into
the clutches of matrimony.

Till death
do you part, man.

I'll drink to that.

You know, this
whole marriage thing

is becoming
like an epidemic.

First Andrea,
then Dylan.

Now Muntz.

'Course Andrea
is getting a divorce.

What made you
do it, man?

What is a crowbar?

Full moon?
Venus in retrograde?

Shotgun?
No, no.

Uh, Julie's a great girl,
and I love her.

That's all there is to it.

Hmm.

So which one of you two
are next?

Oh, ask me no questions,
I'll tell you no lies.

Ah, commitment's never
been my specialty.

I'll say.

However, bachelor parties,
on the other hand...

Legendary.

Oh. No, no.

Julie kind of wants
to keep things mellow. I...

Muntz, you can't get married
without a bachelor party.

Uh-uh.
It's...

It's un-American!
It's un-American.

You're gonna have the bachelor
party of all bachelor parties.

Oh. Oh, yes.

Oh, you're gonna have
the fiesta of all fiestas.

Fiesta del fiestavo. Huh?

Oh, God.

You boys are awfully
chipper this morning.

What do you got there?

Oh, just a little
heavy reading material

I found in your room.

Yes, you did.

It's research.

Oh, really?

Yes.

Guilty Pleasures
is opening tomorrow.

It'll be the first store
of its kind in Beverly Hills.

Well, I guess that's progress.

What, am I

in trouble for reading it?

No, no.

It just makes me feel a little
weird finding it, that's all.

That's the way Guilty Pleasures'
neighbors feel.

They don't want it
in the neighborhood.

Well, I can't say that
I disagree with them.

I wouldn't want
to walk past it

every day, either.
Maybe not.

But they do have
a legal right to be there.

Hey, Kel,

Muntz here is getting married.

You are?!

Congratulations!

Oh, thank you.
So, I guess

you won't be buying these
anymore.

Yeah.

Yeah, I should probably cancel
my subscriptions.

Ooh. God, that's gonna hurt.

Oh, baby, you're beautiful. Right there.

Oh, don't move,
don't move. Right there.

Beautiful. All right. Beautiful.

Let me see the apple. Put
the apple up. Fantastic!

Let me see those eyes.

Beautiful, baby.
All right, great.

Oh, beautiful. Don't
move. Right there. Ah.

Hey, can I get some more light, please?
I'm on it.

The set looks great,
she looks beautiful. Thank you.

It's going good, isn't it?

Yeah, it is.
Can I help?

Yeah, you can make it perfect.

It will be.

Ah, it has to be.

This catalogue
is really important.

Tell me about it.

It's costing us a fortune.

Worth every penny, though.

Stop. Don't touch anything!
I'm sorry, I...

Look, they're just...
They're the only

dresses I have.
I can't get them dirty.

Here, let me
brush them off for you.

No, please, why...
Look, why don't you go

get some coffee or something,

and I'll take
care of this?

Are-are you sure?

Yes, I'm positive. Thank you.

A little over the top,
don't you think?

They're the only clothes
I brought today.

I can't afford
to get them dirty.

Yeah, I know, but you
kind of took her head off.

I mean, she's just
trying to help.

You're right. I did.

Monica, are you in there?

Uh-huh.

I'm so sorry I yelled at you.

That's okay.

I feel better now.

No, it's not.

I-I'm so embarrassed.
I've just...

I'm under a lot of pressure
right now,

but that's no reason to take it
out on you. I'm sorry.

I'm fine.

Thanks.

So, what-what can
I do to help you?

Thank you.

♪ I tell a better story
than the one I heard today ♪

♪ I packed up all your things
and threw them all away ♪

♪ You tore my soul
into a million pieces ♪

♪ Now the memory that lingers
will just fade away ♪

♪ Fade away ♪

♪ Oh, you're such a blur to me ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ I'm feeling happy now ♪

♪ I'm feeling happy now ♪

♪ With the slightest
provocation ♪

♪ I dare to write you off ♪

♪ There's a subtle way
of letting go of my thoughts ♪

♪ The toughest place
inside of me ♪

♪ Won't echo with the shame ♪

♪ One thousand times
he calls me ♪

♪ Now I'm full of pain... ♪

Beverly Beat.

You want
to place an ad?

Beverly Beat.
This is Steve.

Personal ads? Absolutely.

We're the epicenter
of love connections.

Thank you. Can you call back
a little later?

I'm a little swamped.
Thank you.

Where's Janet?

This place is chaos central.

I sent her on some errands.

How many errands?

I haven't seen her in days.

It was a long list.

Obviously.

The truth is, Brandon,
ever since the reunion,

it's been kind of
awkward for me.

So what's your point?

I don't know what to say to her.

So your master plan is

to keep her out of the office?

Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry, man,

but you're gonna have to come up
with something else,

because we've got a newspaper
to run,

not to mention the fact

we've got a bachelor party
to plan.

Hey, I never almost dated
someone I work with, okay?

Normally, you go out
with a girl, and if it tanks,

you lose their number,
but Janet...

Is not that easily disposable?

Exactly. This is gonna
be a real challenge.

Janet! You're back so soon.

Yeah, I made an
executive decision,

and I went to the
supermarket for coffee

instead of driving all
the way out to Santa Monica

for your special beans.

Oh.

Your taste buds

aren't that highly evolved.

You'll never know
the difference.

Okay.

Bachelor party strategy.

We're gonna need some food--

preferably finger sandwiches--

and then
some live entertainment.

I'm gonna leave
the human resources to you.

Brilliant idea.
You know, you can get

party favors
at that new sex shop.

I was going to go there anyway
to cover the grand opening.

Well, as publisher
of the Beverly Beat,

I feel it's my duty
to accompany you there.

Make sure
no stone goes unturned.

Hmm.

And, uh, no love
oil uninspected.

She seems okay
with this whole sex shop thing.

Healthy girl.

Still waters run deep

and possibly kinky.

I like it.

Hey, David?

Huh?

Wouldn't it be great to get away
for a couple days?

Yeah, that sounds great.

I mean, we could go up
to Lake Arrowhead

and stay at a bed-and-breakfast,
do some hiking or something.

Yeah, you plan it,
I'll be there.

I mean, it just
seems like forever

since we've had
some time to ourselves,

you know?
You know,

with this whole jingle thing,

we could schedule
something during the week

if it's easier for you
to get away from the club.

Yeah, that'd be great.

We really need this.

Yeah.

Mmm...

Mmm.

Mmm.

I got to take a shower.

No!

This is one of the last salads
I'm gonna have for a long time,

so I'd better make it last.

Doctor's orders.
What's wrong? Are you okay?

Oh, I'm fine,
but I'm gonna have a facelift

next week, and I won't
be able to chew for a while.

I'll be drinking
lots of smoothies.

You're kidding me.
Honey, this is Beverly Hills.

We never joke
about plastic surgery.

Mom, you look great.
What are you thinking?

40% off for people in their
forties got me started on it.

The thought of losing the bags
under my eyes sealed the deal.

But your eyes are beautiful.

I look tired after
ten hours of sleep.

Want some dessert?

Do we have any frozen yogurt?

Yup. Bought some
just the other day.

I think we've got chocolate
and vanilla.

Is it nonfat?

Ah, the vanilla is.

I'll have that, then.

Erin, I brought you
some Rocky Road ice cream.

Want me to make you a sundae
with hot-fudge sauce?

Ice cream's fattening.

But you're so skinny!

Yogurt only has 80 calories,

and I don't want to be a blob.

Now, that was a great movie.

Yeah.

Very funny.

Funny, romantic.

Great movie.

What's going on?

I was just thinking about
my mom getting a facelift

when she completely
does not need one;

my seven-year-old sister
watching her weight.

You were thinking
about your mom

and your sister
during a romantic comedy?

I don't know.

It's like they're all trying
to fulfill this male fantasy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.

I've heard you and Donna go on
and on about Brad Pitt.

No. I don't know.

The movie just made
me think about it.

Can you imagine a movie

where the 60-year-old woman
gets the 30-year-old stud?

Harold and Maude.

It was a joke.

Just promise
me one thing:

When you're old and gray

and distinguished-looking,
and I'm just old and gray

you'll still think I'm
the sexiest thing around.

Well, that's gonna be easy,

but will you be able
to get past my Dunlap?

You like him,
don't you?

Oh, goes beyond like.

You know what?

There is a great reggae band

playing at the After
Dark Thursday night.

You should invite him.

I don't know.

I think you
should go for it.

So, Donna,
I'll see you tomorrow?

Yes, you will.

There's, um...

There's a reggae band playing
at the After Dark on Thursday.

They're supposed
to be really good.

Sounds like a plan.

See, that wasn't so hard.

I'm actually breathing.

Wait, is there something
on the dress here?

Oh.

Oh, my God, your arm!

Are you okay?

I-I'm so sorry.

I-I just got
this new cat.

She's a little overeager
for affection.

Can I get this dress
cleaned for you?

No, no, no, that's fine.

We'll just, we'll
use another one.

Are you sure?
Positive.

Those scratches look
pretty bad. Do they hurt?

Oh, no, no, no,
they're mostly healing.

Um, she's finally getting
out of that kitten stage.

Well, maybe you should
just have a doctor check it

in case of infection.

Good idea.

So, um, in terms of tomorrow,
I was thinking

that I'd get here
around 8:00,

have things ready to go
by the time Joe gets here.

Great.

You know, maybe you could look
into having the cat declawed.

You know, my apartment
is right next to a bakery.

Why don't I pick up
some pastries and coffee,

and we can use some of it
with atmosphere

for tomorrow's shots?

That sounds good.

Okay.

Um, well, if there's
anything else that you need,

I left my pager number
next to your purse,

and, uh, don't hesitate to call.

Thanks, you've been a huge help.

Okay.

There is no such thing
as a small fantasy.

It starts with dirty books
and movies,

and then it's strip clubs
and plastic surgery.

You're taking this
a little far, don't you think?

I just want to know that
when you're with me,

you're thinking about me.

This is ridiculous.

If it's so ridiculous, then
why do you still have this?

It's research.

I told you that.

Give me a break. Why
do you really have it?

It's a guy thing.

Okay, it's no big deal.

I got it when we weren't
together, how's that?

And that makes it okay?

I don't know why you're making
such a big thing out of this.

It's just a magazine.

Then get rid of it.

Fine.

Happy now?

It's a start.

You know, just 'cause
I threw that one away

doesn't mean
I can't buy another one.

And that makes me feel
real good, thank you.

I'm not trying
to make you feel good, Kel.

This is what I'm trying
to tell you.

This has got nothing
to do with you.

I don't see it that way,
Brandon.

family town!
No sex shops here!

That's right.
We love our children.

This is a pretty historic moment, boys.

We are about to enter
the first sex shop

in the history
of Beverly Hills.

This could make us
pioneers.

It's a good crowd here,
buddy.

This is going to make
a pretty good story.

Hey, do you think there's
going to be door prizes?

We'll see you inside, Brandon.

Excuse me, excuse me, hi.

Uh, I'm Brandon Walsh
from the Beverly Beat.

I was wondering, can I
get a comment from you?

Absolutely.

My daughter goes
to elementary school

three blocks
away from here.

Who's going to protect her
from the kind of element

that shops
at a store like this?

Where are the laws

that protect the people
who live in the neighborhood?

Thanks.

We love our children.

Hey, Mr. Eckersley,

I'm Brandon Walsh
with the Beverly Beat.

I'm wondering,
how do you feel

about these people
picketing your store?

Well, I wish my customers
didn't have to deal with it,

but it is added publicity.

A lot of people say
that stores like this

sell literature and products
that objectify women.

You got any comment on that?

Yeah, tell 'em
to read the Constitution.

As long as I'm not
selling anything obscene,

which I'm not, I'm covered
by the First Amendment,

which means I am free
to sell my products,

and they're free
to complain about it.

Oh, hey, check this out.

It's got fuzzy stuff
on the inside.

Let me see that.

Yeah, it says right here
it's fur.

"Fur your enjoyment."

Enjoyment how?

Oh, Muntz.

What?

Whoa, Silver,
what do you got there, buddy?

It's just, uh...

Edible underwear?

Could you keep
that down, please?

Man, I wouldn't know what
to do with half that stuff.

I know you
wouldn't, Muntz.

Hey, don't poke fun.

You and Valerie have
some sex life, don't you?

Thanks, guy.

Have I mentioned what a
great guy Mr. Eckersley is?

Do you think?

Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.

He's going to buy some
ad space at the Beat,

and he's going to
give us a discount

on anything we
buy here today.

Do you think
that's such a good idea?

Think about it,
Brandon.

20% discount
on inflatable sheep.

So how's the catalog coming?

Great,

except the stylist--
this girl Monica.

I think something's going on
with her.

She has these scars and these
scratches all over her arm,

and she claims
they're from her cat.

You don't believe her?
Uh-uh.

I've never seen scratches
like that from a cat.

And she was bleeding.

Don't you think that's weird?

Is she by any chance
totally accommodating, selfless,

always sacrificing herself
for others?

A dream assistant.

Why? What does that say?

Well, I could be wrong,

but it sounds
like this thing called cutting.

What's that?

Well, it's a disorder

where people actually
cut themselves.

We have a pamphlet on it
at the clinic,

and I read an article
in the New York Times.

People cut themselves?

That's horrible.

Is she suicidal?
Probably not.

Cutters are
really self-loathing.

By doing this, they can control
the pain they experience.

Maybe we're jumping
the gun here.

We don't actually know
Monica's cutting herself.

To think that someone
would willingly hurt themselves

like that.

You might want
to keep an eye on her.

Do magazines like this
make you uncomfortable?

No.

I mean, I don't mean to
put you on the spot, but...

a lot of woman
say they feel

bad about themselves when they
look at this kind of stuff.

Ah, they're just pictures
in magazines.

Severely airbrushed pictures.

And what about this sex shop
in Beverly Hills?

Do you think it belongs there?

I'm probably
not your target audience.

My parents were hippies,

so I was taught
that sex was

a good thing
and a healthy thing.

You know, I don't really
have any hang-ups about it.

So it doesn't bother you?

No, not at all.

If places like that help people
express themselves sexually,

I say go for it.

Sex is a beautiful thing,

with or without commitment.

You know, Janet,
you and I

may have more in common
than we originally thought,

a lot more.

Let's see.
We went to a dance together.

Yes.
And I think you dumped me

before the night was over.

Hmm.

That was a shock.
Mm.

Ah.

What's that?

Oyster oil.

I got this at the sex shop
that just opened up.

It's supposed to relax you and
make you a little more mellow.

Um, d-do I seem tense?

No, not at all.

Well, you bought something
for tense people.

It makes sense that
you think I'm tense.

Val, I just... I just thought
you'd like it, that's all.

Come on.

Come on.

Here we go.

Mmm.

How's that?
Isn't that nice, hmm?

Yeah, that feels good.

Uh...

What the hell is that?

Just trust me, okay?

Anything else under that bed
I should be worried about?

Nope.

What do you think
of my editorial?

So you had the
perfect opportunity

to take a stand on
pornography, and you didn't.

You know, Kel,
once you start telling people

where they can shop
or what they can sell,

you're getting
on a pretty slippery slope.

Before you know it,
you're legislating

what people can say and do.

Politics, shmolitics, Brandon.

You think it's okay
to read these magazines.

Those centerfolds
aren't real.

I never said they were.

Well, they aren't.
Fine.

They're not.
Are you happy now?

Are you saying that
because you agree with me

or because you want to
avoid another argument?

You know, Kel,
maybe I'm saying it

because I'm tired
of having my temperature taken

on the subject
every ten minutes.

What about ethics,
what about morals?

Kel, sometimes I like
to go to a movie

or read a magazine
and not think too much.

I don't think that's a crime,
but apparently you do.

Well?

You know, I think the straps
are slightly uneven.

Let me get tape
to make sure.

Okay.

What are you doing?

I was just looking
for measuring tape.

Ricki's straps are uneven.
Oh.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Monica, I know what
you're doing to yourself.

I'd like to help you.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Your arm,
the cutting.

I saw your things.

I saw the knife.

I told you I have a cat.

She's a kitten,
they scratch, end of story.

Those aren't cat marks.

Were you snooping
through my stuff?

I just-- I want to help you.

There's people
that you can talk to.

Look, you have no right
to go through my kit.

It's private.

How would you feel
if I went through your stuff?

I wouldn't...
Look, I feel really violated

right now.

I didn't think
you were like that.

I thought you had more respect.

I do, I'm...

I'm sorry.

I was wrong
not to ask you first.

Yes, you were!

Joe needs me
to set up the next shot.

Hey.
Hey.

Where you going?

Oh.

I wanted to get
an early start.

Edible underwear.

Interesting.

What do you say you try them on,
see how they fit?

Uh, can I take a rain check?

I've got a lot
to do today.

Hey, what do you say
we grab some breakfast?

I got some new tea.

Jamaican Morning.

I really should go.

I, um... I've got inventory
at the... at the club,

and I got to see bands.

Sounds like a busy day.

Yeah.

Um, what about you?

Just working on jingles,
you know.

Well... I'll see you later.

Bye.

Nice, very nice.

Beautiful.

You look fantastic.

Your eyes are just
coming out at me.

You look gorgeous.

Joe, wait.
Hang on a second.

Let me just fix the dress--
it's not laying right here.

Sure.

So, Ricki, you like reggae?
Sure.

Great. Well,
there's a concert

tonight at the After Dark

if you'd like to go with me.

Cool.
Great.

We can just leave from here,

maybe grab some dinner.

Okay.

You're all set.

All right,
let's set up

for the next
shot, huh?

Careful.

Hey.

Joe doesn't know
what he's missing.

Mm, that's okay.

They probably have
some special connection.

Chemistry.

You know, I'd give anything
to be like her.

Beautiful, successful.

I bet her biggest problem
is trying to figure out

what to wear
in the morning.

No one's life is perfect.

Yeah, it must be pretty lousy

when a guy like Joe
asks you out.

Monica, you are smart

and talented.

You have a great look.

Score one for inner beauty.

Just 'cause Joe blew it

doesn't mean you
should give up.

Or hurt yourself.

Hey. What's up, man?

I, uh, came to drop
off a credit card

that Valerie left at
my place last night.

Cool.

Where you been?

Well, I've just been,
uh, shopping.

I think it's
called browsing

when you don't actually
buy anything.

Yeah, well, I just didn't
find anything I liked.

What were you looking for?

Oh, just...

looking for stuff.

Like what, like socks

or underwear or, like...
Things like... stuff and...

slippers or a T-shirt?

All right already!

I went back to Guilty Pleasures.

Satisfied?

Obviously a lot more
than you are.

Ouch.

I feel like a jerk.

Steve, why?

We were all in there together
a couple days ago.

Yeah... I know.

But... I went back.

Alone.

And the problem is...?

I think the problem is,
if you boil it down...

I think the problem is,
I don't have a girlfriend.

No, you don't.

Not this very minute, Steve.

You know, places like that,
they...

they kind of split the world

into two different kind
of people.

Notice,
you got your...

your couples, and then,
for the most part,

guys...

like me,

who have nothing better to do
on a Tuesday night

other than to troll the aisles.

Alone.
Exactly.

Steve, you only look
at it that way

because you're not in
a relationship, okay?

If you were in a relationship,
you wouldn't be going

to a place like Guilty
Pleasures for fun.

You'd be going for work.

I'll take a relationship

over being unemployed any day.

Well, obviously, you've never
had Valerie as a boss.

Still, you get into a fight...

you get to make up.

And makeup sex is some of the
most righteous a guy can have.

I think it's worth
a little trouble.

Yeah, "trouble"
being the operative word.

I'll see you
later, man.

Monica.

Look...

it's not what you think, okay?

I know that you're
cutting yourself.

I don't want to
talk about it.

I just wish I understood why.

Calms we down.

It... makes me feel better.

I want to be able
to help you.

Will you talk
to me about it?

I was in college.

Junior year,
I'd gotten

a really bad grade
on a design project,

and when I got
back to my room,

there was a letter
under the door from my boyfriend

saying that he didn't want
to see me anymore.

I was a mess.

Crying my eyes
out, I...

I went to the bathroom
to, um... to wash my face,

get myself together and, um...

And there was a razor
on the side of the sink.

I don't know why,
but I picked it up.

Were you going
to slit your wrists?

No.

I, um...

I just started running it

across my skin,

trying to see how hard
I could push it

before it would actually
break through.

And finally, it did.

Funny thing is,
is that it actually didn't hurt.

Monica, you have to stop
doing this to yourself.

Well, I've tried to stop,

but I can't.

There's doctors,
therapists that you can talk to.

But it's up to you.

You have to want to stop.

And there's going to be
times when all you want

to do is give in.

I know.

I... I was addicted
to pain pills.

I know what it's like.

Even if I did stop, it's not
like it would make a difference.

It's not like I would wake up
tomorrow and be a supermodel.

In the long run...

looks, they don't mean anything.

It's how you feel.

You deserve to be happy.

I don't know.

You do.

You're worth it.

Oh, hey.

I'm looking
for Brandon.

He wasn't at the paper.

Oh, they, um...
they went to Muntz's

bachelor party.

That's where
all the boys are.

They had it during the day

so Muntz's fiancée
wouldn't find out.

I guess she's not a big fan

of the ritual.
Me, neither.

They probably bought out
the new sex store.

Yeah.

You know, I guess it's
the hot spot these days.

You know,
I told David

that I want more romance,

and then he goes and he buys
all these toys.

I mean,

it's not like I'm a prude
or anything,

but, you know, why couldn't we
have gone together?

I mean, it would've
made it less...

Sleazy?
Yeah.

What do men want?
Because I, for one, am baffled.

They just don't understand
how that stuff makes us feel.

The toys, the magazines.

Fat, inferior.

Completely horrible.
Left out.

Like, we're okay

for their daily lives,
but when it comes

to the fantasy part of things,
we're somehow off-limits.

That's because it's their
fantasy, not ours.

I don't want it
to be mine, either.

I just wish that
we could share it, you know?

Men...

They think we're
the complicated species.

Hmm...

Oh, yeah.

Oh, man, if Julie finds out
about this,

she's going to kill me.
Hey.

You told her
you were with me

having lunch right?
Yeah.

Well, you're with me,
and here's your lunch.

And here's your dessert.

Face it, Muntz.

Face it, guy,
you're nailed. Okay?

Women are impossible.

I think you can vouch for me.
Women are impossible.

You're about to sign on

to a lifelong sentence,
my friend.

Hey, hey--
this is a bachelor party.

Thank you.
Hey, guys.

Where do I set up?

Dance floor
would be great. Okay.

Be with you in a flash.
Oh, that's okay.

We're not going any hair.

Okay, they want
something, right?

You give it to them,
all of a sudden

they want something
completely different.

You can't win.
You're always in trouble.

Always.
You can't figure out

what you might've done wrong,
but now,

you are responsible
for all the sins

of mankind, my friend--
all of them.

Save yourself.
Jump out now.

No, no, no.

Not every woman
is like that.

Janet's not like that.

She's way more
of a free spirit.

She's got...
Whatever.

a really interesting
philosophy of free love.

Isn't she the one you
dumped at the reunion?

Yeah.

Yeah. That's
ancient history.

Something about a woman
scorned, I don't know.

Kelly has been
on this kick lately.

She's always on about
pornography objectifies women,

turns them into sex objects.

What's your point?

So, which one of you lucky guys
is the groom?

Please, let it be me.

Boing.

Right here.

Front row. There is a God.

Front row.
Thank you, fellas.

Thank you!

This is too much.

Oh, boy.

Oh, yeah.

Give it to her, Muntzy. Give it to her!

Come on, Muntz!

Whoo!

I was thinking
maybe I should go

and chat up our stripper.

Kind of find out who she is.

What her dreams,
what her aspirations are.

Find out what she
does when she's

not taking her clothes
off for people.

You know, treat her like
a person, not an object.

You mean have
a conversation with her?

Exactly.

Oh, come on! Yeah! Oh!

Muntzy, come on!

Maybe not.

Maybe not.

Yeah!

Muntz, you owe me.

I love it!

Hey.
Hey.

How was
the bachelor party?

Fine, fine,
a good time was had by all.

Hmm, why didn't you
tell me about it?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I got the impression
you wouldn't approve.

I don't.
Well, there you go.

I'm sorry if I'm offended
by the idea that

it's a man's last night of fun
before he commits to a woman.

I think it's
a little disrespectful.

It's tradition.

It's a bonding ritual.

It's no different
than a bridal shower.

I've never been
to a bridal shower

where there are X-rated movies
and strippers.

I'm assuming
there was a stripper.

There was some
live entertainment, yes,

but it was harmless.

Not to me.

You know, it occurs to me

when Dylan was getting married,

we all sat around
playing poker

while you ladies went out
to a female strip club.

That was not my idea.

The concept of bachelor
parties isn't my idea.

You know, you have been
like a broken record

the last few days.

I am not responsible

for all of mankind's
attitudes towards women.

I'm not asking you to be.
Then what are you asking?

Brandon, maybe I've been
a little harsh, okay?

But in a typical, ordinary week
in Beverly Hills,

I am running into women getting
unnecessary plastic surgery,

children dieting and girls
just out of college

cutting themselves.

I mean, it's just
a little out of control.

I couldn't agree more.

And now, you are giving me
mixed signals, and it upsets me.

I don't even know
what to say to you.

Brandon!

I'm not gonna stand here
and listen to you

question my morals.

I just don't know
where you stand.

Yeah, you do;
you just don't agree with it.

That's right.

This conversation's over.

Wow!

Is that new?

Yeah, I-I, um--

I got it today.

Well, uh, gosh, you...

you look great.

Thanks.

Um...

...I also got these.

Is this what I
think it is?

Yeah, it's called
a love leash.

What's this?

Body glitter.

You're kidding me.

No, it glows in the dark.

Oh, and this--

this is, um, well, this is
called a tickle whip.

You're into this stuff?

Well, I am if you are.

It's...

It's great.

It-it's, um,

very exotic.

But?

Look, Val,
I just, I got--

I have a lot of stuff
I need to do tomorrow,

and I need to start
first thing.

So, um, you're saying

that you probably need
a good night's sleep?

Yeah, it'd probably
be a good idea.

Good morning.
Morning.

My, you're full
of energy.

I'm psyched
about your catalogue.

You saw the proofs, right?
Yeah.

Turned out well, didn't they?

A month from now,

20,000 women
will have that catalogue.

That's the problem.

If you're worried
about production,

you don't have to be.

We will definitely keep up
with demands.

No, I'm, uh...

I'm a little concerned about
the message that it's sending.

What, that it's letting

the world know how great
your designs are?

Especially if
you're a six-foot

tall model like Ricki.

The average American
woman's what,

I don't know, um,

five-foot-three?

She definitely weighs a lot more
than Ricki does.

Yeah, so? She's a model.

So, by using Ricki as the
spokesperson for my designs,

I'm basically saying that
she's the physical ideal.

And that women out there, if
they don't look like she does,

something's wrong with them.

See, I don't compare myself
to other guys in magazines.

They're models.

Yeah, but women are
totally different.

We always compare ourselves.

And now this thing with Monica

is just making me realize
how extreme it can get.

I hear what you're saying,

but don't you think
she's an unusual case?

Maybe.

I'm just not sure

I want to promote an unreal
sense of beauty.

And maybe this is my opportunity
to make a difference.

Here we go.

One grande mocha cappuccino

with extra chocolate,
because I know you love that.

And a cranberry bagel.

Uh-oh. Where are you sending me
now? Bakersfield?

Nowhere.

I just wanted you to know

how appreciated
you are here.

And...?

And I've been doing
a lot of thinking,

and I realized

that I never gave us a chance.

So I was thinking maybe

we should go out again,
see what happens.

No, you were right.

We're not meant to be.

How do you know?

Well, I gave you
a lot of chances.

And none of them panned out.

But I like working here.

So, let's just keep it
professional.

Assuming that you're comfortable
with that?

Yeah. I just asked you out.

How uncomfortable can I be?

Okay, okay, so I'm
a little gun-shy.

But what happened to free love
and sex without commitment?

I'm totally into it.

With the right person.

Mm.

Crash and burn, buddy.

What'd I do wrong?
Where should I start?

No, seriously, Brandon.

She's a great girl.

I can't believe
I blew it.

You'll survive. You always do.

The only bright spot in my
otherwise bleak existence is

that the stripper agreed
to trade her fee

for ad space in The Beat.

So she's free.

No, she's not.
New policy.

No more trades.

If someone wants to buy an ad,
they can pay for it.

That way, we stay in control.

That means no more free passes
to the Spice Parade.

You're just gonna have to find
a new way to make friends.

Is this your roundabout way

of saying no more strip ads
in The Beat?

In a perfect world, maybe,

but we got bills to pay.

Glad you made it.

Yeah, but I was surprised
when I got your message.

I thought
the shoot was over.

Oh, not exactly.

Was there something wrong
with the pictures?

We've got
a big problem.

The wrong model.

Amy, Evelyn and Kim,
this is Monica.

Hi.

Okay, I don't get it.

Who are these people?

The four of you
are my new models.

I just figured since

real woman are the ones
who'll be buying my dresses,

I should have real women
modeling them.

You didn't have to do this.

I know.

But it's important to me.

Donna, about yesterday...

No, no,

I was wrong to pressure you.

No, you were right.

I do have a problem.

Well, admitting it
is the hardest step.

I know.

And I really need
to deal with this.

And the fact that I'm so scared
to do it makes me realize

that, uh, getting help
is the right thing to do.

You won't regret it.

Thanks.

Ah, it is beautiful
up here.

I can't believe
this is LA.

I know, I'm so glad
we got out of the house.

Yeah. It's been kind of a
stressful week, you know?

Wow!

David, I-I... I wanted to talk
to you about the other night.

You know,
I've been meaning

to talk to you
about that, too.

It's not that I
had a problem

with you buying all that
stuff at that sex shop.

No... I blew it.

It's just that if you were bored
or unhappy, I...

I kind of wish you would've
talked to me about it

instead of trying to fix it
on your own.

Wait, wait, I'm, I'm fine
with things.

You're the one who's been
reading the magazine articles.

What are you talking about?

The magazine-- the one

with the girl with the yellow
bikini on the

front of it.
I was reading my horoscope.

What?

My horoscope.

Aries.

Wait, you didn't think
I was reading that...

"How to jump-start
your sex life."

David, no.

I'm such an idiot.

Is that why you maxed out

your credit card
at the sex shop?

I thought you were, uh, unhappy.

No, I-I... I thought you were.

That's why I got all that
lingerie and crap.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know, I've... I've always
been a nature lover.

Really?

Me, too.

Hey!

I was thinking, uh...

maybe we could
call a truce.

I think that could
be arranged.

I read your new editorial.

And...?

I thought it was terrific.

I'm glad you liked it.

I liked the part
where you said if people

want to put the sex shop
out of business,

they should stop
shopping there.

That's how I feel.

You're still going
to run the sex ads?

We can't afford not to.

Like it or not,
personal ads, club ads--

they're the bread and butter
of our business.

But for the record,

I have a very firm grasp

on the difference
between fantasy and reality.

Oh.

And there's nothing
like the real thing.

Wait right there.

What's this?

Just a little something
I picked up at the store.

A Kama Sutra kit?

It's got massage oil,
pleasure balm,

honey dust...
Hmm.

I don't know.
What do you say we give it a try?

I thought you had a problem
with things like this.

Um, no, my problem
was with you

experimenting without me.

If this brings us closer,

then I am totally
in favor of it.

Honey dust.

What does that
taste like?

Mmm.