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1
00:00:00,467 --> 00:00:00,632
.
2
00:00:00,834 --> 00:00:03,736
- "Will & Grace" is shot
before a live studio audience.
3
00:00:03,738 --> 00:00:07,406
Poached eggs for Grace,
4
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:09,441
one over easy for Jack,
5
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,778
and eggs Benedict for Karen,
sub vodka for bread,
6
00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,981
and tomato juice
for everything else.
7
00:00:15,983 --> 00:00:18,917
- Thanks for the bloody, Mary.
8
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,622
- You're in a good mood.
Wonder why that is.
9
00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:27,593
I know it's not from having sex
or stepping on a scale.
10
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:30,095
Oh, did Target release
a new dish scrubber?
11
00:00:30,097 --> 00:00:32,765
[laughing]
12
00:00:34,435 --> 00:00:37,803
- He literally
just made you eggs.
13
00:00:37,805 --> 00:00:40,272
- I am in a good mood
'cause I finally found a woman
14
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:42,007
with a perfect uterus.
15
00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:45,611
- You're a dirty dog, Will.
16
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:48,947
I knew you'd find your way back.
17
00:00:48,949 --> 00:00:52,785
It's got to be a real kick
in the balls for you, Red.
18
00:00:56,791 --> 00:00:59,191
- I'm talking, of course,
about a surrogate.
19
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,660
Her name's Jenny, she's been
through the process before,
20
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,430
and her lady apparatus
gets stellar reviews.
21
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,632
- Apparatus?
22
00:01:06,634 --> 00:01:10,202
Sounds like Jay Leno
built it in his garage.
23
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:11,970
- So you have an egg donor,
24
00:01:11,972 --> 00:01:14,139
but this other woman
is gonna carry
25
00:01:14,141 --> 00:01:16,475
your gay baby for nine months?
26
00:01:16,477 --> 00:01:20,479
How much is making God cry
going to cost you?
27
00:01:20,481 --> 00:01:21,814
- It's not about the money.
28
00:01:21,816 --> 00:01:23,882
She just loves
helping people become parents.
29
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,484
- 30 grand.
30
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:29,488
- Why do women
get all the best jobs?
31
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:31,256
- Oh.
I should go.
32
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:32,658
I still got to figure out
33
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,827
how I'm gonna get up
to Newburgh to meet her.
34
00:01:34,829 --> 00:01:36,328
I can't even picture
where that is.
35
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:38,097
You know, in my mind,
it goes New York,
36
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:41,033
the Neiman's in White Plains,
then Canada.
37
00:01:41,035 --> 00:01:43,268
- Oh, that's a coinky-dink.
38
00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:45,504
I'm going to the ballpark
in Blattsville.
39
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:48,574
I go right through Newburgh.
40
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:52,578
Well, good luck
with whatever your thing is.
41
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,913
- Karen, can I get a ride?
42
00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:59,017
- [groans] It's really
out of my way, but fine.
43
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:03,388
You can hold the steering wheel
while I flash truckers.
44
00:02:03,390 --> 00:02:06,525
[upbeat trumpet and piano music]
45
00:02:06,527 --> 00:02:13,699
♪ ♪
46
00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:16,301
- [gasps] Look.
47
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,704
There's a reunion today
for anyone who played Annie
48
00:02:18,706 --> 00:02:21,073
on Broadway or national tours.
49
00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:23,775
- What?
50
00:02:23,777 --> 00:02:25,644
Annie-Con is today?
- Yeah.
51
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,379
- Does it say
who the guest of honor is?
52
00:02:27,381 --> 00:02:29,214
- I-I...
- Sarah Jessica Parker.
53
00:02:29,216 --> 00:02:32,551
It's Sarah Jessica Parker!
54
00:02:32,553 --> 00:02:34,153
Oh, but it's sold out.
[groans]
55
00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:39,158
- Ugh. I wanted to play Annie
so badly when I was a kid.
56
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,926
My mom directed a production
57
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:42,461
in the Schenectady
Women's Center,
58
00:02:42,463 --> 00:02:47,232
and she cast herself
as Mommy Warbucks.
59
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:51,069
I sang my little heart out.
60
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:55,707
And my own mother
said I wasn't Annie material.
61
00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:58,844
- You can get me into Annie-Con.
62
00:02:58,846 --> 00:02:59,645
- How?
63
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:01,246
- You could've played Annie 40...
64
00:03:01,248 --> 00:03:03,215
- Careful.
65
00:03:04,251 --> 00:03:06,552
- Several years ago.
66
00:03:11,025 --> 00:03:13,792
[knocking at door]
- One sec.
67
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,928
Before I open this door, you
should know I have a knife...
68
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:18,197
and a dog.
69
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,865
And the dog has a knife, too.
70
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,100
- Uh, it's Will.
Will Truman.
71
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:25,637
I feel weird
'cause I don't have a knife.
72
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,808
- Hey,
sorry about the knife thing.
73
00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:32,344
It's kind of how we say hello
in this neighborhood.
74
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:35,280
Well, and good-bye.
75
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:38,317
- You must be Jenny.
Wow.
76
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:41,853
You, me, this is...
77
00:03:41,855 --> 00:03:43,488
this is us.
78
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:45,324
- Yeah.
79
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,559
It's a big thing.
We're gonna make a person.
80
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:48,694
- [chuckles]
81
00:03:48,696 --> 00:03:49,962
- Excuse the mess.
82
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,630
I hope you're not
one of those gay guys
83
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,398
that needs everything
to be neat.
84
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,634
- What, me?
No.
85
00:03:55,636 --> 00:03:59,137
Uh, I know I'm...
I know I'm early.
86
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:01,506
I got a ride with an insane
person who thinks
87
00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:04,876
that stoplights
are only for the 99%.
88
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:09,047
- The taxes I refuse to pay
built those highways.
89
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,148
- Hi. Jenny.
90
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:13,352
- Well, hello, Hi-Jenny.
91
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:17,189
I'm Hi-Karen.
92
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,057
Oh, I like this one.
93
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:19,891
- Just a minute.
94
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:22,453
I have to finish up
a work thing.
95
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:27,332
- Well, she does have
a nice uterus.
96
00:04:27,334 --> 00:04:28,667
- What are you doing here?
97
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,035
- I had to tinkle.
98
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,870
- Well, you couldn't do it
somewhere else?
99
00:04:31,872 --> 00:04:34,506
- I usually go in the car
and hand it to driver,
100
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:35,674
but he just joined a union,
101
00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:38,744
and now
he's technically a person.
102
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,986
- Oh, God.
103
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,724
Oh, no, no.
104
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:56,762
Maybe just one.
Eenie, meenie, miney, filthy.
105
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:00,198
- Okay, guys, I'm signing off.
106
00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,034
Mike, we already talked
about this.
107
00:05:02,036 --> 00:05:03,535
I don't like
that aggressive crap.
108
00:05:03,537 --> 00:05:05,137
Guys, you know the rules.
109
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,471
If you don't play nice,
you're gone.
110
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,040
[computer chimes]
111
00:05:08,042 --> 00:05:09,741
Thanks for the tip, Feenster.
112
00:05:11,111 --> 00:05:15,247
- What is this?
Is this a porn site?
113
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:18,317
- No, it's not porn.
I'm a cam girl.
114
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:22,321
Guys pay me a little to flirt,
show some skin.
115
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:25,957
- "He looks super gay."
Who?
116
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:30,262
Guess what, DongerDoyle.
I am super gay.
117
00:05:30,264 --> 00:05:32,931
- Weird flex, but okay.
118
00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:38,053
[upbeat music]
119
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:42,625
♪ ♪
120
00:05:42,627 --> 00:05:45,928
- Oh, my ginger.
121
00:05:48,132 --> 00:05:50,065
- Think how much
skin cancer there is
122
00:05:50,067 --> 00:05:52,902
in this room right now.
123
00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:54,570
- Okay, okay,
go up to that table
124
00:05:54,572 --> 00:05:57,106
and grab an unclaimed name tag,
all right?
125
00:05:57,108 --> 00:06:00,509
And I'll scan
the crowd for... Sarah!
126
00:06:00,511 --> 00:06:04,280
Oh, it was just a ladder.
127
00:06:04,282 --> 00:06:06,782
- Welcome to Annie-Con.
I'm Pam Muntz.
128
00:06:06,784 --> 00:06:10,186
I did two tours as stage
manager in '03 and '09,
129
00:06:10,188 --> 00:06:12,655
plus three months
of transitional protocol
130
00:06:12,657 --> 00:06:16,091
in the South Korean Theater
in '98.
131
00:06:16,093 --> 00:06:18,794
- Thank you for your service.
132
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,931
I'm just gonna grab my name tag.
133
00:06:21,933 --> 00:06:23,699
- You're Ramona Delaney?
- Mm-hmm.
134
00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:25,100
- You're a legend.
135
00:06:25,102 --> 00:06:26,602
I can't believe you showed.
136
00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:27,970
- Thank you.
137
00:06:27,972 --> 00:06:30,773
It's always nice
to meet the fans.
138
00:06:30,775 --> 00:06:34,376
We are in, and apparently,
I'm a legend.
139
00:06:34,378 --> 00:06:37,346
- Oh, crap.
Jerry Sussman is here.
140
00:06:37,348 --> 00:06:39,682
He used to be a catty
audition accompanist,
141
00:06:39,684 --> 00:06:43,886
then he made it big, and now
he's a big, huge pianist.
142
00:06:43,888 --> 00:06:44,887
- Uh, what was that?
143
00:06:44,889 --> 00:06:47,223
- A big, huge pianist.
144
00:06:47,225 --> 00:06:50,359
I just heard that.
That's amazing.
145
00:06:50,361 --> 00:06:51,861
But he's the worst.
146
00:06:51,863 --> 00:06:53,162
- Hello, Jack.
147
00:06:53,164 --> 00:06:57,132
- Hello, Jerry.
Nancy meeting you here.
148
00:06:57,134 --> 00:06:58,334
- That fell a little flat.
149
00:06:58,336 --> 00:07:01,971
Just like the G you tried
to hit in "Corner of the Sky"
150
00:07:01,973 --> 00:07:03,739
at that non-equity
"Rent" audition.
151
00:07:03,741 --> 00:07:09,411
You were, like, "G, what if
this were an F-sharp?"
152
00:07:09,413 --> 00:07:12,348
Oh, my God.
Ramona Delaney.
153
00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:14,483
- Uh, yes, it is.
That's... that's me.
154
00:07:14,485 --> 00:07:16,485
- I've been obsessed with you
since forever.
155
00:07:16,487 --> 00:07:17,820
You were born to play Annie.
156
00:07:17,822 --> 00:07:19,655
- Thank you, thank you.
157
00:07:19,657 --> 00:07:21,223
I always thought the same.
158
00:07:21,225 --> 00:07:23,526
My mother said
I wasn't Annie material,
159
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:24,827
but I guess she was wrong.
160
00:07:24,829 --> 00:07:26,195
- So wrong.
161
00:07:26,197 --> 00:07:27,496
Like when Jack tries to sing.
162
00:07:27,498 --> 00:07:28,898
- Beat it, Jerry.
163
00:07:30,501 --> 00:07:32,735
- Obsessed.
164
00:07:33,571 --> 00:07:37,239
- I thought that pianist
would never get out of my face.
165
00:07:37,241 --> 00:07:40,109
Never said that sentence before.
166
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:43,746
- This is so amazing.
167
00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:47,616
It's like I get to experience
all the joys of living my dream
168
00:07:47,618 --> 00:07:49,718
with none of the bad parts.
169
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:52,788
- Ramona?
Ramona Delaney?
170
00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:54,390
Is that really you?
171
00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:58,027
- It is.
Would you like a picture?
172
00:07:59,297 --> 00:08:02,998
- I've wanted to do that
for 36 years.
173
00:08:05,036 --> 00:08:10,039
♪ ♪
174
00:08:10,041 --> 00:08:11,707
- Okay, Will,
I drained the main vein.
175
00:08:11,709 --> 00:08:12,942
I'll be in the car.
176
00:08:12,944 --> 00:08:15,811
Good Lord,
is this the Port Authority?
177
00:08:15,813 --> 00:08:19,582
- Yeah, you just missed the
Greyhound in the living room.
178
00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:20,616
Who are you?
179
00:08:20,618 --> 00:08:22,217
- Karen Walker.
180
00:08:22,219 --> 00:08:24,386
I drove my sissy friend
here to meet a surrogate.
181
00:08:24,388 --> 00:08:28,724
Oh, don't tell him
I called him a friend.
182
00:08:28,726 --> 00:08:30,459
- The surrogate's my sister.
183
00:08:30,461 --> 00:08:31,527
- I see.
184
00:08:31,529 --> 00:08:34,163
And you're faking a disability
so that you can cash
185
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:37,833
a government check
to buy cigarettes?
186
00:08:37,835 --> 00:08:39,568
- Shrapnel from an IED
187
00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:43,138
destroyed my C7 vertebra
in Iraq three years ago.
188
00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:45,074
- Well, then you must've been
on vacation
189
00:08:45,076 --> 00:08:49,178
because we liberated
Iraq in 2003.
190
00:08:49,180 --> 00:08:52,414
Mission accomplished.
191
00:08:52,416 --> 00:08:55,985
- Those must've been tourists
who were shooting at me.
192
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:58,187
- Huh.
193
00:08:58,189 --> 00:08:59,989
- Okay, go for it.
194
00:08:59,991 --> 00:09:01,957
I know you want to call me
a brave hero
195
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,158
with tears in your eyes.
196
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,927
- Honey, I'm the brave one.
197
00:09:04,929 --> 00:09:09,298
I just flushed a toilet myself
for the first time in 20 years.
198
00:09:12,103 --> 00:09:13,335
Do a lot of people do that?
199
00:09:13,337 --> 00:09:15,371
- I'm inspiration porn.
200
00:09:15,373 --> 00:09:19,341
- [chuckles]
You're dry and bitter.
201
00:09:19,343 --> 00:09:22,711
Two things I like
in a drink and a man.
202
00:09:22,713 --> 00:09:24,847
- Hey, can you help me
get some pills?
203
00:09:24,849 --> 00:09:27,182
- What kind of woman
do I look like?
204
00:09:27,184 --> 00:09:29,385
- The kind who goes
to international waters
205
00:09:29,387 --> 00:09:32,788
for a doctor's appointment.
206
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:35,057
I meant my pills.
They rolled under the bed.
207
00:09:35,059 --> 00:09:36,392
- Are you sure?
208
00:09:36,394 --> 00:09:39,028
I've got some black beauties,
some green beans,
209
00:09:39,030 --> 00:09:43,465
and a half a bottle
of California turnarounds.
210
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,334
- What's a California
turnaround?
211
00:09:45,336 --> 00:09:47,403
- You take one,
you can drive to California,
212
00:09:47,405 --> 00:09:51,473
turn around, and drive back
without sleeping.
213
00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:53,542
- Those are a little
Dark Web for me.
214
00:09:53,544 --> 00:09:55,310
Maybe just help me find the ones
215
00:09:55,312 --> 00:09:57,046
I actually have
a prescription for.
216
00:09:57,048 --> 00:09:59,248
- Well, if we're talking
Dark Web,
217
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:03,152
I've got one called
the grassy knoll.
218
00:10:03,154 --> 00:10:06,522
It hits you in the head twice
from two directions.
219
00:10:10,868 --> 00:10:12,668
[upbeat music]
220
00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:15,471
.
Too big of a deal about this.
221
00:10:15,473 --> 00:10:17,540
Guys literally
get on for 20 minutes,
222
00:10:17,542 --> 00:10:19,175
we chat, they hop off.
223
00:10:19,177 --> 00:10:22,245
- Right,
so they get on and get off.
224
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:24,881
This wasn't on your profile.
225
00:10:24,883 --> 00:10:27,817
So any other things
that I should know about you?
226
00:10:27,819 --> 00:10:29,519
- Yeah, I mean, I make
my own root beer.
227
00:10:29,521 --> 00:10:31,354
I once killed a drifter
228
00:10:31,356 --> 00:10:33,916
to watch the life drain
from his eyes.
229
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,326
That's a joke.
230
00:10:37,328 --> 00:10:39,328
Both parts.
- Okay, okay.
231
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:40,496
- Look, it's no big deal.
232
00:10:40,498 --> 00:10:43,666
It pays the bills until
somebody puts a baby in me.
233
00:10:43,668 --> 00:10:44,634
[computer chimes]
234
00:10:44,636 --> 00:10:48,237
- Not what she meant.
- Oh, not like that.
235
00:10:49,541 --> 00:10:51,340
- Um...
236
00:10:51,342 --> 00:10:54,610
I'm not saying this
in a... in a judgmental way...
237
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,279
despite the tone
I hear in my voice
238
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,847
and the face
I'm trying not to make.
239
00:10:57,849 --> 00:10:59,048
Um...
240
00:10:59,050 --> 00:11:02,285
are you gonna be doing this
while you're carrying my child?
241
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,120
- Look, I don't smoke.
I don't drink.
242
00:11:04,122 --> 00:11:05,288
I don't do drugs.
243
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,356
Nothing harmful
goes into my body,
244
00:11:07,358 --> 00:11:09,258
and perfect babies comes out.
245
00:11:09,260 --> 00:11:11,694
I'm like a machine...
but with emotions.
246
00:11:11,696 --> 00:11:14,256
So, like, machines in two years.
247
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,801
- You've done surrogacy before.
I haven't.
248
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:20,703
Um, I really want to trust you,
but, you know,
249
00:11:20,705 --> 00:11:23,906
now that I've seen
behind the curtain,
250
00:11:23,908 --> 00:11:26,876
literally, I, um...
251
00:11:26,878 --> 00:11:28,377
I just... I just...
252
00:11:28,379 --> 00:11:30,046
I got some things
to think about.
253
00:11:30,048 --> 00:11:31,214
- We're cool.
254
00:11:31,216 --> 00:11:33,216
Nobody gets that this is a big
decision more than I do.
255
00:11:33,218 --> 00:11:35,151
- Thanks.
Thank you.
256
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:36,486
- Plus, your timing's perfect
257
00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:38,254
'cause my pimp's gonna be here
any minute,
258
00:11:38,256 --> 00:11:41,891
and he really doesn't like
white guys.
259
00:11:41,893 --> 00:11:43,559
Joking.
260
00:11:43,561 --> 00:11:45,461
Both parts.
- Both part, okay.
261
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:48,965
- Okay, okay, so I asked around,
262
00:11:48,967 --> 00:11:50,399
and the woman who threw
the drink in your face
263
00:11:50,401 --> 00:11:51,834
is Molly McGann,
264
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,904
and "you," Ramona Delaney,
were her understudy.
265
00:11:54,906 --> 00:11:56,305
During previews,
266
00:11:56,307 --> 00:11:58,074
"you" gave her a bottle of water
267
00:11:58,076 --> 00:11:59,575
spiked with tabasco sauce,
268
00:11:59,577 --> 00:12:01,244
so she lost her voice
during "Tomorrow,"
269
00:12:01,246 --> 00:12:03,980
and "you" replaced her.
- Oh.
270
00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:06,349
That is terrible.
271
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,651
But I was better, right?
272
00:12:08,653 --> 00:12:10,753
- Okay, listen up, Annies.
273
00:12:10,755 --> 00:12:13,189
Apparently Sarah Jessica Parker
is running late
274
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:17,126
because she did not believe
this was a real thing.
275
00:12:17,128 --> 00:12:20,696
So we're gonna need someone
else to sing "Tomorrow."
276
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:21,531
- Hello.
277
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,366
Obviously it should be
a sing-off
278
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:25,501
between Ramona and Molly.
279
00:12:26,604 --> 00:12:29,372
- I'll do it.
What do you say, Ramona?
280
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,774
Are you scared for a fair fight?
281
00:12:31,776 --> 00:12:34,443
- Molly, what I did to you
was so awful,
282
00:12:34,445 --> 00:12:37,647
but I was a different person
back then, literally.
283
00:12:39,117 --> 00:12:40,383
You sing that song for the fans.
284
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,484
You deserve it.
285
00:12:41,486 --> 00:12:43,619
- It figures
you would back down.
286
00:12:43,621 --> 00:12:46,956
You were never
Annie material anyway.
287
00:12:46,958 --> 00:12:50,359
- What the freckle
did you just say to me?
288
00:12:50,361 --> 00:12:53,696
♪ ♪
289
00:12:53,698 --> 00:12:55,665
- How many of these do you take?
290
00:12:55,667 --> 00:12:59,235
- Two.
- And how many do you want?
291
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:00,236
- Two.
292
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,804
- Really?
293
00:13:01,806 --> 00:13:03,439
Okay.
294
00:13:08,479 --> 00:13:10,146
Are you looking down my dress?
295
00:13:10,148 --> 00:13:11,814
- No.
296
00:13:11,816 --> 00:13:14,650
- How about now?
297
00:13:14,652 --> 00:13:16,319
- Wow.
Congrats.
298
00:13:16,321 --> 00:13:17,887
- Oh, thanks.
299
00:13:17,889 --> 00:13:20,523
I just had them
balanced and rotated.
300
00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:26,896
So it's just you
and your sister squatting here?
301
00:13:26,898 --> 00:13:28,698
No girlfriend?
302
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,033
Is there a Mrs. Wheelchair?
303
00:13:33,504 --> 00:13:35,571
- I was engaged
before my deployment,
304
00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:37,406
but, you know, things change.
305
00:13:37,408 --> 00:13:38,841
People grow apart.
306
00:13:38,843 --> 00:13:41,944
One of you suffers
a catastrophic spinal injury.
307
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:45,181
- Has there been anyone else?
You getting any?
308
00:13:45,183 --> 00:13:46,415
- Oh, yeah.
I'm rolling in it.
309
00:13:46,417 --> 00:13:48,417
- Hmm.
310
00:13:48,419 --> 00:13:51,254
You're funny.
311
00:13:51,256 --> 00:13:54,190
You should do stand-up.
312
00:13:54,192 --> 00:13:57,760
[both laughing]
313
00:13:59,864 --> 00:14:00,896
Well...
314
00:14:00,898 --> 00:14:02,031
But I get it.
315
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:03,532
Ever since my divorce,
316
00:14:03,534 --> 00:14:05,368
there hasn't been
too much action
317
00:14:05,370 --> 00:14:07,370
on my southern front either.
318
00:14:07,372 --> 00:14:09,138
- I find that hard to believe.
319
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:14,210
I'd say something about taking
cover in the bush here...
320
00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:15,745
but you seem like a lady.
321
00:14:15,747 --> 00:14:19,482
- You're a terrible judge
of character.
322
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:21,817
- Don't worry about me.
I did my share.
323
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:24,320
And maybe sex
isn't that important.
324
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:25,788
- You know, I promised myself
325
00:14:25,790 --> 00:14:28,391
and my parole officer
that I would never slap
326
00:14:28,393 --> 00:14:31,627
another man in a wheelchair.
327
00:14:31,629 --> 00:14:34,096
There are two things that
are important in this life...
328
00:14:34,098 --> 00:14:36,098
Sex and money.
329
00:14:36,100 --> 00:14:37,633
And if you don't have one,
330
00:14:37,635 --> 00:14:39,235
you sure as hell
better have the other.
331
00:14:39,237 --> 00:14:42,571
- Well, I guess I better pray
to win the lottery.
332
00:14:42,573 --> 00:14:44,740
- I think you're about to.
333
00:14:44,742 --> 00:14:48,077
As I said to Judith Lard
at the Tenth Street Baths...
334
00:14:49,914 --> 00:14:54,283
It's about to get
a lot hotter in here.
335
00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:57,687
- Grace, you can't beat
Molly McGann in a sing-off.
336
00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:59,522
She's a Broadway star.
337
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:00,990
She played Tracy Turnblad
338
00:15:00,992 --> 00:15:04,126
and Eponine
on an Alaskan cruise.
339
00:15:04,128 --> 00:15:05,695
- Jack, I can do this.
340
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,163
I am as good as...
341
00:15:07,165 --> 00:15:09,932
As any of those washed-up,
old cruise ship Annies.
342
00:15:09,934 --> 00:15:11,967
How about having
a little faith in me?
343
00:15:11,969 --> 00:15:14,103
- I absolutely
have faith in you.
344
00:15:14,105 --> 00:15:16,339
- Let's try it one more time.
Last eight bars.
345
00:15:16,341 --> 00:15:20,876
- ♪ You're always a day ♪
346
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:27,850
♪ Away! ♪
347
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,393
Hey, you want this extra water?
348
00:15:37,395 --> 00:15:38,861
- Yeah.
- Don't drink it.
349
00:15:38,863 --> 00:15:40,396
- Why?
350
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,798
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
351
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,234
- You think I went to
the trouble of putting tabasco
352
00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:46,569
in a sealed bottle of water
353
00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,637
and then re-sealed it
just to sabotage you?
354
00:15:48,639 --> 00:15:50,806
Here, you want the one
I already drank half of?
355
00:15:50,808 --> 00:15:52,942
Knock yourself out.
356
00:15:54,812 --> 00:15:56,579
- I guess we were
a little silly.
357
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,414
I mean,
it was an unopened bottle.
358
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:02,184
- No, Grace,
we were very, very smart.
359
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,287
[coughs]
360
00:16:06,526 --> 00:16:07,526
.
361
00:16:07,561 --> 00:16:09,528
[upbeat music]
362
00:16:09,530 --> 00:16:12,765
-are a little questionable, s
363
00:16:12,767 --> 00:16:14,800
but, you know,
maybe the surrogacy fee
364
00:16:14,802 --> 00:16:16,802
will help lift her out
of where she is now.
365
00:16:16,804 --> 00:16:19,438
When did you start
wearing a flag pin?
366
00:16:21,976 --> 00:16:25,277
- I want to show
I support the troops.
367
00:16:25,279 --> 00:16:29,081
Their full body weight,
if necessary.
368
00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:31,717
In a position
I may have just invented.
369
00:16:33,588 --> 00:16:35,554
- I don't know
what that means, but...
370
00:16:35,556 --> 00:16:37,156
you know,
the more I think about it,
371
00:16:37,158 --> 00:16:40,559
the more I think
I should give this to her.
372
00:16:40,561 --> 00:16:43,496
You know, maybe by helping me
bring a life into this world,
373
00:16:43,498 --> 00:16:45,564
she'll also be saving her own.
374
00:16:45,566 --> 00:16:48,434
Who else can do that for her?
DongerDoyle?
375
00:16:48,436 --> 00:16:50,403
[laughing]
I don't think so.
376
00:16:50,405 --> 00:16:51,937
[cell phone vibrates]
377
00:16:51,939 --> 00:16:53,105
It's her.
378
00:16:53,107 --> 00:16:54,340
Uh...
379
00:16:54,342 --> 00:16:56,842
"Not feeling it.
Sorry.
380
00:16:56,844 --> 00:16:58,911
I'm gonna pass.
Good luck."
381
00:17:00,681 --> 00:17:01,647
She's passing on me?
382
00:17:01,649 --> 00:17:05,751
- Well, of course, she is.
You're a snob.
383
00:17:06,988 --> 00:17:08,821
- Oh, that's rich
coming from you.
384
00:17:08,823 --> 00:17:12,425
- Honey, everything's rich
coming from me.
385
00:17:13,694 --> 00:17:15,461
- I am not a snob.
386
00:17:15,463 --> 00:17:18,531
- Her life choices
are questionable.
387
00:17:18,533 --> 00:17:21,700
You're going to lift her
out of where she is right now.
388
00:17:21,702 --> 00:17:22,868
Please.
389
00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:23,836
You were looking at her
390
00:17:23,838 --> 00:17:28,140
like she was wearing
one of Grace's outfits.
391
00:17:28,142 --> 00:17:29,809
- What do you want me to say?
392
00:17:29,811 --> 00:17:32,845
I mean, s-s-she's getting paid
to show strange men her body.
393
00:17:32,847 --> 00:17:35,214
- And you want her
to stick to getting paid
394
00:17:35,216 --> 00:17:38,050
to let strange men
put babies in her body.
395
00:17:38,052 --> 00:17:40,653
- This is... that is complete...
396
00:17:40,655 --> 00:17:42,822
Since when...
397
00:17:42,824 --> 00:17:44,824
do you make so much sense?
398
00:17:44,826 --> 00:17:47,226
- Look, I understand.
399
00:17:47,228 --> 00:17:49,395
You see someone
living in that apartment,
400
00:17:49,397 --> 00:17:53,532
and you think,
"Life gave them a raw deal."
401
00:17:53,534 --> 00:17:55,968
But when you let yourself
see the whole picture,
402
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:59,905
really roll a mile
in their wheelchair...
403
00:18:01,676 --> 00:18:04,210
They can surprise you...
- Hmm.
404
00:18:04,212 --> 00:18:06,879
- Like, a big surprise.
405
00:18:10,885 --> 00:18:14,854
Way bigger
than you had expected.
406
00:18:14,856 --> 00:18:17,556
So big that it's difficult
to take it all in
407
00:18:17,558 --> 00:18:19,625
but in a really good way.
408
00:18:25,233 --> 00:18:27,399
You know what I'm saying?
409
00:18:28,936 --> 00:18:29,869
- I think you're saying
410
00:18:29,871 --> 00:18:33,038
I should check
my assumptions about Jenny...
411
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,874
and that also maybe you had sex
412
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:38,544
with a well-endowed
disabled person?
413
00:18:38,546 --> 00:18:41,714
- Bingo and bango.
414
00:18:41,716 --> 00:18:44,550
- ♪ I love you tomorrow ♪
415
00:18:44,552 --> 00:18:48,921
♪ You're only a day ♪
416
00:18:48,923 --> 00:18:55,728
♪ Away! ♪
417
00:18:55,730 --> 00:19:00,499
♪ ♪
418
00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:04,170
[cheers and applause]
419
00:19:04,172 --> 00:19:06,505
Jack, I did it!
That was all me.
420
00:19:06,507 --> 00:19:09,008
I am Annie material.
421
00:19:10,344 --> 00:19:13,812
I'm never gonna
come down from this high.
422
00:19:13,814 --> 00:19:16,982
- There you are.
423
00:19:16,984 --> 00:19:19,618
I'm Ramona Delaney.
424
00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:22,821
That was for pretending
to be me.
425
00:19:26,627 --> 00:19:29,695
- Is the theater world
always this dramatic?
426
00:19:29,697 --> 00:19:31,764
- Yes.
427
00:19:36,103 --> 00:19:37,937
Yes, it is.
428
00:19:37,939 --> 00:19:41,473
[upbeat music]
429
00:19:41,475 --> 00:19:43,642
[knocking at door]
430
00:19:50,218 --> 00:19:51,383
- Hi.
431
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:53,352
- Hey.
432
00:19:53,354 --> 00:19:56,989
- I judged how you use your body
433
00:19:56,991 --> 00:20:00,326
while I was asking
if I could use it, too.
434
00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:01,393
- Okay.
435
00:20:01,395 --> 00:20:02,595
- I thought
I was just choosing you.
436
00:20:02,597 --> 00:20:06,899
It didn't even occur to me that
you have to choose me, too.
437
00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:08,000
- Okay.
438
00:20:08,002 --> 00:20:11,003
- I'm a middle-age gay man
who's trying to have a baby
439
00:20:11,005 --> 00:20:13,339
on his own, and it scares
the crap out of me,
440
00:20:13,341 --> 00:20:16,508
and I need someone like you
who's been through this before,
441
00:20:16,510 --> 00:20:19,745
'cause I don't know
what the hell I'm doing.
442
00:20:22,883 --> 00:20:24,583
- Okay.
443
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,587
- Really?
Like, okay, okay?
444
00:20:28,589 --> 00:20:31,156
- Well, it took a lot for you
to come all the way back here
445
00:20:31,158 --> 00:20:33,525
and say all of that, so, yeah.
446
00:20:33,527 --> 00:20:36,528
I want to help you
become a father.
447
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:38,063
- Thank you, Jenny.
448
00:20:38,065 --> 00:20:40,666
Can I hug you?
- Got to tip big for the hug.
449
00:20:40,668 --> 00:20:43,102
- Of course.
[stammers]
450
00:20:43,104 --> 00:20:44,536
- Joking, joking, joking.
- Joking. You're joking.
451
00:20:44,538 --> 00:20:46,538
You're joking.
Okay.
452
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:50,009
[laughs] What...
What does this make us now?
453
00:20:50,011 --> 00:20:50,909
Friends?
Family?
454
00:20:50,911 --> 00:20:54,413
Co-founders of a startup?
I can't...
455
00:20:54,415 --> 00:20:57,016
- It makes us two people
456
00:20:57,018 --> 00:20:59,952
about to do something
really incredible together.
457
00:21:01,222 --> 00:21:02,521
- Yeah.
458
00:21:02,523 --> 00:21:03,689
Well, three if you count
the cleaning lady
459
00:21:03,691 --> 00:21:05,057
that starts on Monday.
460
00:21:05,059 --> 00:21:07,359
That's my nonjudgmental
gift to you.
461
00:21:07,361 --> 00:21:08,327
- I think that's more
of a gift to you.
462
00:21:08,329 --> 00:21:09,862
- Fair enough.
32913
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