Original subtitles

CAPTAIN MYSTERY

Ireland, 1815.

This is the story of Mike Martin,

better known in the legend

as Captain Lightfoot,

and that of a big hero

by the name of Thunderbolt.

It's also the story of Ireland.

Ireland's deep rivers

and dragons in red uniform,

the history of a country

who resists fiercely

to foreign laws.

Ireland's Secret Societies

and highwaymen

on the roads of Dublin.

Ireland's bad acts

perpetrated with bravery.

Old Ireland

in his good and bad sides.

Come on, Tim!

The car of an English lord!

Listen, Mike, to attack a man foot, a va,

but a car is something else!

The committee needs money.

Take care only of the animals!

Hands up !

I said: Hands up!

What is it ?

Your money ! For a good cause !

A good cause ?

- No doubt, yours! - No, for Ireland!

Your purse!

Would not you be the famous Captain Thunderbolt?

No Madam, but one of his fervent admirers.

You will admire it less when you will be hanged in Dublin!

Thank you, my lord.

Some guin es and lead ...

A false purse for thieves!

He should not have dumped Thunderbolt.

We are only amateurs!

It's still a few guin es for the committee.

I dare not bring them to him.

From his eyes flee the danger

Kate Kearney's look is fatal

Horses are safe?

More than us!

Tonight, committee meeting!

- We'll probably be there. - Maybe!

After we are restored to undergo the boring speeches!

Do you know Kate Kearney

Who lives on the banks of Killarney

Hurry, Brady! We have the sweety!

What will you take?

As if I did not know it ...

Serve yourself, Michael.

I'm late for my rent.

Lord Devereaux refuses me immediately.

Yes, Mr. Desmond?

Five guin es.

She bewitched the coquette

What mischief in his dimples

Kate's one

Breathe breath

Must die

Have you ever seen that much money ?

The committee has the job.

But you will not dare.

He always takes the same path, to return to the castle.

If we fly Devereaux we will be hanged!

I go out behind to get ahead of it.

It fixes things for the moment.

Do not go !

I ... I meant ...

What foolishness!

You should not drink anymore and keep the ideas clear.

Give me this bag!

It's Lord Devereaux's money!

Devereaux's money?

It's our sweat and our blood!

Did you kill him?

A flick.

Hey ... it's too heavy.

This day can be bad for you.

Have you seen two young people horse?

One on a roan, the other on a bay. They attacked a car.

One on a roan, the other on a bay?

I saw the opposite.

And?

They were going towards the village.

Let's go quickly to the meeting.

Congratulations, O'Neill,

for having recruited 3 new members

and obtained donations from sympathizers.

1 pound and 10 shillings!

And that?

- How did you get it? - The committee needs it.

We do not want money. We will fight without flying.

Let's say I borrowed it.

When the oppressors will leave ...

Lord Devereaux will be reimbursed.

Did you fly Devereaux?

No, but his steward.

Why did you do that?

I'm tired of words,

we must go to action.

The only act to do, it's making money.

Give it back ?

Let's hope it does not hurt us.

If ever the dragons were going down on Ballymore?

Where are you from?

I want to save your life and maybe the ones.

That's the difference!

By saving us, you run away!

I want to save my country !

You are for passive resistance.

Me, for Ireland!

I sometimes wonder if you do not sympathize with them!

- Excuse you! - I will not apologize!

You are obstinate.

You confuse violence and courage.

Often.

A word has more meaning than a blow.

Words, words, words!

It's a mask for a lick!

I will exclude you from the committee.

And I'll flank you!

Give me that club!

Stop! Stop!

There are other battles to be fought.

You have been recognized.

Desmond saw your face.

What are you going to do ?

There is only one thing To do.

We must leave.

It may be better.

Horse and I'm leaving for Dublin.

There, there is to be done.

Go instead, the dragons are looking for a rider.

They also want hang the horse!

God bless you, it slows down your temper.

I'm not worried on my lot!

Cut by the fields. They watch the roads.

Mike ... I'm going with you.

No, Tim.

We did not recognize you.

You will be better here.

He's a guy with a big heart,

but too full of illusions.

He does not have the right to expose us.

The deaf has the right to hear.

The blind to see.

The hunchback to be right.

Love for his country blind,

but I can not blame him.

It must be our man!

Not a gesture!

Or I put you in pieces.

You are Martin from Ballymore.

A rebel we are looking for.

The premium is 10 pounds.

I have the impression ...

they will increase the premium!

Leave the horse and the weapon.

It would make your case worse.

Who are you?

I am christian and peaceful.

Seeing the dragons to pursue you,

I wanted to try to tear you apart

these disciples of the demon of war.

We will discuss afterwards. I'm going to Dublin.

I do not do you less trust than another.

I carry pound books,

hide under the word of God.

Give it back to Him and me, until Dublin.

Utensils to starve!

We put them back nine!

Brother Kill.

I did not recognize you, Reverend.

Brother, do you want inform Lady Ann

that she can open the curtains.

God ordered me to come back.

I will do it with pleasure, R v rend.

Who is it ?

One of my flock.

This romanichel?

We are all the children of God.

- What kind of priests are you? - A thirsty.

Bird and Bottle,

the beer is the most pleasant for the palace of a christian!

I recognize these steps.

Welcome, Captain.

The poor old man is blind.

You take me for another.

Good evening, pretty young woman.

Where is the boss?

Up.

A problem with a tenant.

Stay here.

Take a beer

while I'm going to talk.

Remember the glories

De Brien the brave

Although it's

The past

Excuse me.

Who did you take this gentleman for?

It's a strange thing, I do not remember.

You know, at my age, memory has failures.

Lost Mononia

And cold in the grave

He will not come back anymore

Kinkora.

He sings well for his age.

He speaks even better.

His tongue saved him from the gallows.

He was a highwayman

and also a pirate!

Leave here!

And do not come back!

We will speak again !

Come on, my child.

God helped us.

We have a room for the night.

This is our host, Big Tom.

Boxing Champion of Ireland.

Shake hands with Michael Martin,

ready to fight for Ireland.

This man would be a rebel?

It will not sleep under my roof.

- If my presence compromises you ... - It's not that.

But I do not like rebels nor their sneaky manners.

Their sneaky manners?

Slowly ! He is a former champion!

Even though he would be the world champion!

Defend yourself!

Go for it !

He is brave.

Stop!

- Fuel will keep the fire going. - Not with guys like him.

It's the best of all.

I judge, the priest, if you are one.

The strength of your fist is exceeded

by your vivacity of mind.

Is not it, Callahan?

So you know him?

Have you heard of Captain Thunderbolt?

The biggest rebel and the greatest patriot.

You will tell your grandchildren

that you met him.

You?

Yes ... me.

Thunderbolt himself.

I do not understand.

I was hiding under this costume

during the Dublin incidents.

I am assured that everything is calm.

So I leave my retirement.

He said he did not like rebels.

The words came out with difficulty

although it was only a proof.

A proof?

I loved your misunderstanding towards the Armed Dragon

but before you adopt, I had to make sure

that you had so much strength than patriotism.

Me ? Serve Captain Thunderbolt?

Never say that name,

we would hang on.

For everyone, I'm Captain Doherty.

I'll remember, captain!

Now, we are going to dine copiously.

You heard ?

And a tailor.

Let him adjust my costumes

to present it in Dublin.

I take care of the tailor.

Termin.

Perfect, perfect.

You are an artist.

My compliments.

I did my best, captain.

That's the count!

Always your orders.

If my friends from Ballymore saw me.

You are a gentleman.

The silly judge a man on his bet.

We live in the midst of phantasmagoria,

fake manners and fake faces.

Each individual wears a mask.

You have nothing to say?

Give me a fire.

We go to my cousin's house. In the play house of Lady Ann.

We will risk a guin e or two.

To play ?

And a corranto with a pretty girl.

You do not know what it is?

We will forgive a.

A corranto!

Observe.

Show him.

This one first.

Well ! Magnificent !

And now...

At Lady Ann's place.

What do you think of the house?

Lady Ann must be the richest.

Lady Ann?

This house belongs to me.

And Lady Ann?

Let's say she directs it.

Your cloak, my lord.

And your hat, my lord?

Thank you.

Ballymore! Ballymore!

So, Michael?

What elegant!

We do not know where to look.

You will learn.

What is it ?

When I think that Thunderbolt ...

Doherty, I mean,

frequent English dragons while holding this house.

You, an adventurer?

You do not understand anything about the laws nor the perversion.

A crook ?

It would take me on the facts

and be able to identify me.

There are hundreds of Doherty

and I am only one of them.

You're there, finally!

Yes, I am here.

You are beautiful.

Lady Ann ... I bring you Martin.

Do not beat crows. Greet this lady.

What a dumb!

Forgive me, miss.

No effusions, you're wearing my suit.

Why the heck did not someone tell me anything?

I do not like this language.

Yours is worse.

I can still correct you.

Aga, my girl savage.

I avoid it as much as possible.

Captain Martin, my second.

Second?

Yes, my dear?

What nickname did you choose for him?

It is true,

we have not thought about it yet.

Second in command? Him ?

Hold your tongue, my daughter.

How can Ann support this devil for years.

The devil wants to dance.

Come on, Michael, a corranto with a pretty girl.

Remember. One two Three.

I remember it very well.

Catch it.

What a teacher you do!

I'm happy to see you.

In addition I need you.

Why ?

Bracey opened a gambling house, he tries to take our clientele.

The rascal.

He will cheat and it will be his end.

And now a smile

and a dance?

What is Captain Hood doing here?

Captain Hood?

I can not vincer an officer of the Crown.

I can.

It's a rascal who benefits from his situation.

- Your humble servant. - What are you looking for here ?

I am Sir Bracey's envoy,

for a business proposal.

But since you're back ...

I do not deal with the rascal.

Let me finish.

He wants to buy you ...

I do not care about his desires.

The offer would be generous.

I am not a seller.

Leave!

What is it ?

- You were walking on my feet. - Probably not.

I know what I'm saying.

What's the matter ?

I did not touch his feet.

He does not dance ... He hops!

He only looks at others!

It's more like you.

It was my old friend Shanley,

a gentleman.

You were looking for a name for this stuff.

"Light foot". Call Captain Lightfoot.

Lightfoot?

I like it.

I baptize you

Captain Lightfoot.

Smile, Michael! Smile!

Go kids, dance!

One two Three.

You do not dance badly.

You did not walk on my feet.

I thought so.

If I did it ... I am sorry for that.

The police !

A police raid?

You must not be caught!

From behind!

Follow me !

Let the famous people come out!

I take care of the coaches.

Stop bawling!

Do not beat the ladies!

You are drunk! Excuse me.

Get them out.

Leave the ladies!

There are no ladies and I ...

Your name ?

I do not give it !

Is !

Your presence in this gambling den is not my responsibility,

but violence against the police are punished with prison.

They were mistreating the ladies!

What ladies?

I do not see any.

Have you stopped?

He is like a lord, my lord.

I beg your pardon.

Silence!

He spoke of prostitutes.

He saw them with his drunkard eyes.

It is contrary to our uses to put a gentleman in a cell.

Sadly, I do not have a choice.

Why did you stop him?

Will you do me the honor to take my car?

The finest snuff tobacco.

Are you tempted?

Thank you, Your Excellency.

- Thank you, my lord. - It was a pleasure.

Explain to me his intervention.

It's a miracle.

He is my friend and very influential.

He has luxurious tastes. I finance it.

I do not understand this raid, the first in ten years.

You come home early.

These ladies are upstairs.

I installed them my best.

- So, Trim? - I made the accounts, captain.

With the fines to pay, He made 1,000 guineas.

1,000 guineas? As long as that?

I forgot to introduce you my second in command,

Captain Lightfoot.

In other words, Michael Martin.

A man wants to see you.

What a pleasure to meet you.

What do you want ?

Information, or do you sell?

I sell them. Can I speak without fear?

Do not worry.

It's about the roundup.

Say what you know.

It's worth 100 guineas.

100 guin es!

For a friend like you, 50 guineas.

Give it 25.

Speak !

It is at the request of Sir Bracey.

I suspected it!

To force me to sell.

I did not think so influential.

He attached himself an officer of the Crown.

Captain Hood who has everything arranged.

I understand everything !

Where is Sir George?

Dennisworth!

He must do good business.

Always your friend and faithful servant.

It's still pretty early to visit Sir Bracey.

Two fast horses.

Follow me, captain.

Prepare the guns.

We are coming back right away.

I believed him here.

He will be back. He went to get horses.

What do you have, Captain Martin? You have a funeral head.

I thought.

- I should go back to Ballymore. - Why ?

It's not a life for me.

Everything is more and more confused.

The ladies are not ladies.

The gentlemen Avoid the laws.

The big Thunderbolt holds a gambling house.

He is about to kill his competitor.

He pays the informants!

Profits are not for him but for the cause.

For the cause?

Do not you understand ?

The aristocrats and the lords come here to lose their money

which serves to liberate the poor devils

and feed the needy.

That Lady Ann does not worry. We'll be back at dawn.

Watch over them.

Your guns.

You treat me like a whitecoat.

Am I your second or not?

Say it!

Tomorrow, you will bring back these ladies.

The captain will accompany me.

Our clothes!

Do not leave the horses. Whatever happens.

Good evening, Sir George.

Doherty! I thought you would come.

Have you changed your mind for ...

my offer ?

I never change it.

I am disturbing you for 1,000 guineas.

No more no less.

It does not bother me.

And above all ... no trickery.

Never with an armed man.

Take them out of my earnings.

Thank you, Sir George.

I want this money!

Pull ! Pull !

Continue it!

horse! Quick !

Rest.

I bleed like a pig.

I took him 1,000 guin es and he stayed on the floor.

You have to see a doctor.

Not in a place known to them.

Ballymore,

where the committee meets.

I am too weak

Take me to the Killing Trailer.

I will guide you.

Do not worry, captain.

Are you still asleep

Or did you forget

Heaven! The captain !

The tamer and Willie the goat.

I rely on them in hard knocks.

Martin, my new second.

Treat him as myself.

Do not stay there swallow the flies!

Go get the carbine!

If you find Clagett, and I doubt it,

kill him. He sold us.

We'll bring it to you in slices!

Leave us alone.

listen to me.

I have to hide or I will be hanged.

Hood and Clagett take care of it.

You were in good condition of the legitimate defense.

How to prove it? Hood is the only witness.

Do not show up either, go home.

I will not leave you.

Do not contradict me!

We did not recognize you.

You will run my business.

Lead ? I will not know.

Lady Ann will help you.

Let no one know where I am.

Not even these ladies?

Especially not them.

You do not know women. They would do some madness!

If that is your desire.

The 1,000 guin es are there.

Reopen the games.

do not forget that it is for the cause.

I trust you.

Replace me.

I'll try.

Something else.

For Aga ... it's a strong head.

You have to be firm.

You will replace me with her.

Do you replace Doherty?

I hardly know you.

Did he give you a letter?

The letters are dangerous.

This will convince you.

1,000 guineas.

Belonging to the late George Bracey.

Where's the captain?

- He's safe. - How is he ?

Very good.

That's enough to reopen the games,

but I hate.

Why ?

Hood's attitude was odious

and he is intimate with Lord Glen.

I'll talk to him.

It is difficult to discourage.

It was here yesterday and he will come back today.

Did he ask you about Doherty?

No.

It is Aga who interests him.

What?

I'll see Aga.

- I will forbid him to see him. - You what ?

Good luck !

I'll talk to him right now.

- Would you like to call him? - With pleasure.

The veil.

You came!

I want to know where my father is.

He is safe.

I will speak to you frankly.

Hood is a rascal and your father's enemy.

You will not talk to him anymore.

I speak who puts me and even that which displaces me!

I do not admit it.

Does not Hood have his say?

Absolutely not.

He can get rid of you as he has done so many others.

He is right,

it would be p nible to see you die so young!

There will be no more Captain Hood!

Is it an order?

I do not care !

You think to put on Doherty's shoes!

Peasant playing the gentleman!

You do not get him Ankle.

More Captain Hood?

He will put you in pieces

and will season you the vinaigrette!

Your father told me to replace him.

- What are you going to do ? - What he should have done often!

- You will not dare! - A peasant dares everything!

Leave me! It will cook you!

The tea is served.

We will be there in one, two, three seconds!

Captain Hood wish to see Miss Aga.

- I get it. - I'll see this man.

I am Michael Martin.

- What a pleasure ! - The pleasure is for you.

For me it's to see you go right away.

Dear sir, this is ridiculous.

We are fine with Lady Ann.

- Indeed. - I thought so.

And you pretend to drive me?

I maintain it. Goodbye.

Accompany the captain His car.

Your friend did not eat me.

It's not dinner time.

You could get up when a lady comes in,

peasant !

Is it there the way they eat?

When they are hungry

What are you doing there?

You are not my father. I know how to drink.

I am not patient.

I'm sorry, Captain ... dsole.

When does Doherty come back?

Do not start again.

I have the right to know!

Is it in Dublin?

Take a.

You get to look like My father.

So I can to put on his boots?

I need you.

Captain Hood is here.

After driving him?

He wants to provoke a duel Lord Clonmell,

he cheats openly.

Why Clonmell?

He knows that His Lordship is an influential friend.

Without him, everything would be less easy.

L there.

We did not finish our dance.

Not now.

Place your bets.

Remove your hands while we turn the map.

Do you suggest that I cheat?

What else can I insinuate?

You will leave me the choice of weapons.

The gun and 12 not.

Okay.

- I am the one who is involved. "Not at all, Lord Clonmell.

Hood and me should meet us.

Make me the honor to be my witness.

Mine will meet Your lordship.

12 not, it's certain death!

Hood is a good shooter!

Have you ever been beaten with the gun?

As of the moment that there is a spray, it's okay!

I can drive you to the field in my car.

Thank you, Lord Clonmell accompany me.

Take me !

a duel?

What idea!

Why face a captain of the Royal Arm?

Are you looking to die in heroes?

An advice.

Do not prepare yet my funerals!

It's not a question of honor.

What do you mean ?

Consider Captain Hood can kill you without being worried,

but if you hurt him, we will stop you.

He is an officer of the Crown.

- Would you like me to apologize? - Of course not!

I'm going to assist weapons review.

The witnesses examined the weapons, and declare themselves satisfied.

Good luck, baby.

When I count 1,

the opponents will raise their weapons.

6, they will shoot.

After the exchange of balls, they will declare honor except.

Forbid him to smoke.

You heard ?

May this scene stop!

Is there a regulation that prohibits to smoke during a duel?

Not that I know.

If it's not in the regulations,

it is unworthy of a gentleman.

Do you know what is a gentleman?

In place ! I count !

I protest ! It's ridiculous !

I count !

A !

Two three...

four five...

six!

I protest !

His attitude was premeditated

to make me lose my coolness!

Your opponent did not shoot!

In place !

condition that I recharge.

In your place, Captain Hood!

Captain Martin, you have to shoot.

I will shoot

if I ever see you again in Dublin,

Captain Hood!

I congratulate you.

Brilliant success, captain!

Thank God, you are not hurt.

What are you doing here ?

This is not your place.

Mr. Shanley, I hold you responsible.

Miss Aga is very stubborn ...

You had the goodness to bring him.

Have the goodness to bring it back.

It is 11 o'clock.

You must not worry.

Trim will find her well.

But nobody saw her since she left the field.

- What is it ? - Lord Boray would like a credit.

Okay.

I brought him back.

- Was she with Shanley? - All day.

I breathe to know it saves.

Tomorrow they publish the banns.

They get married ?

That's what she told me.

Thank you, Trim.

You hit, captain?

What do they tell me about you and Shanley?

Me and Dan?

If you come to compliment the bride, wait until tomorrow.

You will not marry him!

I will marry who pleases me!

I'm treated like a kid!

I'm a woman !

You could have waited for your father!

As you replace it, I tell you !

Before you let him go ...

Is it the behavior of a father?

I do not want to be your father, Aga.

- What's wrong, Kill? - Doherty sends you a message.

How is he ?

He has for a long time!

His injury is so bad?

The doctor orders a milder climate.

Tell him I will do my best.

He knows it, captain.

What are you doing here ?

I was thinking I was hiding the truth.

- You did not have to come. - I was so worried!

Can I do something for you?

Only one thing, go away!

The police could follow you!

I should correct you!

Do not come here when I knew you were dying.

You will have white hair when I lose my breath!

Since you are there, sit down.

Tell me...

How's Lady Ann?

Very good. She is waiting for your return.

Really ?

And Martin? Does it help?

Do not worry about him.

I know how he treated Hood.

He was so calm, if master of him,

as in the 100th duel.

I was proud of him!

Fi re?

Times have changed, I see!

More than we think. We get married.

- How? - Think about your state of health.

To hell with my health! What do you tell me?

He's just a kid! You need someone better!

He has experience!

You chose it well as second!

But not as a son-in-law!

He is daredevil and he is handsome! He likes women!

- Like you, captain. - It's a dangerous party!

With Shanley you would be quieter.

Just like you, Captain,

a calm life does not tempt me.

Foot to earth!

- Please, Captain Hood! - Sorry, these are the orders!

He is sick ! He can die!

They stopped Doherty!

Stop? When?

- This morning. By Captain Hood. - They took him to Dublin.

Sapristi!

How did they find it? We were cautious.

Clagett and Hood followed me.

You?

It's good work!

For your father and for Ireland!

I know.

I have repeated it a hundred times!

No need to cry.

It must be taken out of there.

But how ?

He alone would know it.

If any of us could talk to him.

He is smart !

He was disguised to escape the dragons.

In preaching!

Prepare the car.

Wait for me at the back door.

- The car ? - Eh yes !

We will save the prisoner

claws of the disciples the demon of war!

You're early, Father Francis.

I took you for the chaplain.

I replace him. He caught cold.

Pity. I hope to see him again soon.

Not too early, It could be dangerous.

We just brought him to eat. He must have finished.

This is the R v rend P re.

What happened?

Someone hit me on the head.

They took my keys!

What a world of sinners!

What a world of sinners!

Stop him! Stop this man!

Father Francis, do you know him?

He is not here.

The prisoner has escaped!

Drive him to Lord Glen.

We reach the sawmill.

Without wasting time, I will have these ladies preached.

How to thank you ...

It was a joke, Doherty!

Thank you for the costume.

I would like to see the head of Lord Glen

when he will know I took you away!

I wanted to go to Paris anyway!

- Martin is your real name? - Yes.

Do you know Ballymore?

I heard about it.

Have you ever been there?

I live in Dublin. I travel little.

You are a waitress

Bird and Bottle?

Do you recognize this man?

So ?

It's Captain Martin.

What did you hear him say on a certain city.

This gentleman was trying on a suit.

And?

He said...

"If my friends from Ballymore saw me. "

Excuse me.

I did not want to hurt you,

Mr. Clagett has deceived me!

Why did you lie speaking of Ballymore?

What are you trying to hide?

Maybe you are looking for us for a crime?

Even if it was that, tell me where is Doherty

and I give up the prosecution.

A word from you, on my honor, I liberate you.

Is this your answer?

Very good!

Captain Hood!

We will see if you are foreign to this city.

I'm transferring you to Ballymore.

Make a powerful escort.

Very powerful!

If Doherty has certain intentions, we will be ready.

Take him.

Is Doherty there?

Thank God, you're safe!

Thank Lord Clonmell.

He prepares our boarding.

In your message we came.

Where is Michael?

He is not with you?

It's in Dublin to make you go away.

What?

I told him not to move!

Is it Michael?

Trim.

Only ?

They stopped him.

Calm down.

They have nothing against him. The Bracey case concerns me.

It's for wanting to save you.

I take your horse. I'm going back to Dublin.

You must rest !

For some flea stings?

He is no longer in Dublin, but Ballymore.

It's serious.

He was fleeing the dragons when I met him.

I'm going to think.

Has Michael thought? during your arrest?

And he got caught!

- What should I do ? - To prevent the committee.

Let them group together to liberate him.

That's what Glen hopes.

They would fall in a trap!

- That they besiege the prison! - It is inaccessible!

It's not your business !

If, since it's Michael!

Not this time ! You already made me take it!

- Where are you going? - Ballymore!

Come back ! Come back, I tell you!

Quickly a horse!

You follow her?

I'm going to Dublin, look for men!

I have to release it

before my girlfriend do not get killed with others!

We just brought Martin!

They drive him to jail.

the prison?

It had to happen.

They will know how to make it speak.

He will see some rough for having flown Devereaux!

We must help him!

We will not intervene. He must be punished.

He thought he was doing well. It was for the committee.

It is true.

I will not compromise the committee.

Would you rather see him prisoner?

Maybe for life?

I will address a request His lordship.

After all, the money has been returned.

A request?

Sometimes I think like Mike.

Regis sympathizes with the English.

Can I have something for you?

I am looking for a young man.

Tim Keenan.

I am Keenan.

I am a friend of Martin.

He was arrested. Help him.

Why come to me?

You were his best friend.

We knew each other.

Do you want to introduce me

to the head of the committee.

The committee?

I do not know what you're talking about.

I beg you to believe me!

Michael told me everything.

I want to help him.

I swear I can not be an informant.

Someone must have made fun of you.

But, Regis ...

Wait, miss!

A question.

Why Do you care about him?

You like it ?

Yes. Yes I love him.

They do not understand anything.

There is a meeting tonight.

I'll take you there.

Do you recognize the thief?

Yes, it's the young Martin.

We can maybe to hear us.

Do not use your saliva!

I will not speak more than in Dublin.

Your case is more serious than in Dublin.

If you escape the rope, you will be sent to Australia.

I have always loved traveling!

Forced work life!

For life, Martin. Reflect!

Even if I knew something ... I would shut up!

I will ask for the maximum penalty!

Take him.

He is stubborn.

He prefers to die than to speak!

I agree with you.

You know them better than me.

Would he not have believed in my word?

It's more complicated than that.

If someone had his trust

and who would sympathize with us ...

I know a person.

- Who ? - The one who gave me back the money.

It must be a friend of Martin

and one of our sympathizers.

You must try !

If you succeeded and drove me to Doherty

I would be more than generous!

Finish with this request.

It's already so late?

Excuse me, Mr. Desmond. I was going out.

Can I offer you a drink?

I just drank.

If you pay, it is a favor.

No, of a case.

I know you honest man.

Do you know Martin well?

Enough.

Would you like to serve the crown if you are well paid?

It depends on which service.

Authorities are looking for a man.

Martin refuses to speak.

- What are we accusing him of? - Nothing political.

He is a player who murdered another.

If you're interested, we will speak again.

I believe, Mr. Desmond, that I will have a drink.

Listen to me!

Some think Martin

has hurt the cause by his imprudence.

And once in Dublin,

he forgot you and that you must forget it.

It's wrong !

He served under orders of the one we are talking about so much:

Captain Thunderbolt.

How to believe you when we do not know who he is?

I have good reasons to know him.

It's my father.

So we are with you!

Forward! the prison!

Finally, here you are!

Let the chef pass.

Have you all gone mad?

Do you want to destroy everything

Believing this stranger!

The Thunderbolt girl?

If Martin was under his command

why did not he come himself?

Why ?

- You are too mistrustful! - You do not believe anything!

Let him talk!

Sitting the prison, it is spreading blood unnecessarily.

We must forget Martin!

Forget Martin?

Never !

Enough passive resistance, to acts!

That's what lost Martin!

Let's go to the prison!

The meeting is adjourned! Go home !

You sympathize with the occupants!

- How much do they pay you? - Why do you listen?

You betray your own cause!

Snitch!

Trate!

Listen to me!

If he is an informant, what I do not believe ...

he will warn the dragons.

Let's go in and think.

To regret nothing.

The night was good?

In a hard bed like your heart, I did not sleep.

I'm taking you a nurse.

She will sing to rock you.

The great chef in his true light!

I told you that you would be hanged!

Why not say Where is Doherty?

Do not hope to know anything about me.

It's not funny, the prison life.

Trate!

Rflchissez. It's good advice.

Prive him of food.

What heads, these rebels!

Few people speak!

Do not be afraid.

I learned to know them.

When Martin will suffer, he will give us Doherty!

The gray walls of Ballymore!

Let's stay there until night, we will cross the river.

the relève,

you will attack on the other side to attract the dragons.

We will move forward.

We will take shelter under trees.

It's incredible !

I redd to the prison, hoping to see Martin.

I have not seen it

but I saw Regis!

He is a prison guard.

He's getting lost!

He had all my confidence.

Spread the word. Meeting tonight.

That everyone brings weapons.

When they know it, everything will work.

We will attack the prison tomorrow.

He had time to think.

He will change his tone.

If you tell us where is Doherty

we liberate you.

If I go out, I twist my neck!

It will be rather yours and in public!

Let me go out !

Go get me a strong whip.

I have one !

- Let me go out ! - A moment. Your gun.

Listen, Mike ...

Let's get away!

I have a rope and a boat.

It's still a trap.

Do not argue. That convinces you?

Thunderbolt's daughter wants to attack the prison.

Let's avoid a bloodshed!

I guarantee he will speak.

He escaped!

Give the alarm. Quick !

He is here!

Close the door ! The rope !

Leave the guard! horse!

Unless my eyes betray me, one of them is Martin.

Michael?

Thunder!

Look ! The Dragons !

Cover them!

Fire!

Regis!

Michael!

Be careful, Mike!

Do you see them?

They disappeared.

The current has trained them.

May God have pity on their souls.

- They drowned! - We take care of others?

No, we would be ducked!

Let's go lord Glen. He will send reinforcement.

That's it. Everyone is there.

You checked the weapons?

There are few, but they are of quality.

It will be hard but with the help of God, we will vanquish !

As soon as it gets darker ...

Stop! Who are you?

It's my father!

God be praised! I did not expect you!

My father came to help us.

Very honored.

Lower your weapons. They are useless.

Captain Martin is dead.

Do not Cry.

They tried to flee.

A man accompanied him.

They could not cross the river.

I hope to see this citadel crumble stone by stone.

A man was with him? Who was it?

I heard Michael call it Regis.

It's a day of mourning for us.

Ireland loses two of her sons.

The wind is frat and Lady Ann is waiting on board.

I changed my mind, I'm not leaving! Nobody can replace me.

You are not in a position to stay.

Do you know Kate Kearney

Who lives on the banks of Killarney

From his eyes

Let's escape the danger

They said you were dead!

I already told you not to prepare my funerals!

This young devil has succeeded!

And Regis?

What did he become ?

Did he drown?

I left it at the doctor's. He is hurt.

Officially, we are dead.

We can continue our task.

How did you stay so long under water ...

By emerge under the boat back!

Goodbye, Callahan,

Kill, Willie, Big Tom.

Goodbye, Aga.

I want to stay with you.

You will not do anything.

It's a life too dangerous.

I will come back when I get better.

We must fight for us and our descendants.

I have a thrill.

It's Tom who has my cloak. Go get her.

Captain's cape!

He said to put it in the boat!

That's right, sir.

Adaptation: J. SAINTENOY

TVS - TITRA FILM subtitles

Captain Lightfoot (1955)

Madagascar.

For centuries the bloodiest cock pit of all the seas.

Where the infamous brotherhood of the damned awaited to plunder the...

treasure laden galleons from India and Cathay.

Then returned drunk with slaughter to their pirate stronghold of Last Hope.

Most ruthless of all was Captain William Kidd.

He encountered the great London galleon the Twelve Apostles...

Commanded by Admiral Lord Blayne...

and approaching unsuspected in the guise of a peaceful merchantman...

by a sudden treacherous salvo he reduced her to a burning hulk.

When night fell, the Twelve Apostles was only a blazing funeral pyre on the...

placid surface of a Madagascar lagoon.

Stab me, there's a pretty sight.

Will be prettier still when the fire reaches the magazine Captain.

Pity though.

Lot of stout seamen among them. And with us a long time.

We can none of us live forever Mr Boyle, dead men don't talk.

Man your oars, we got this job to do before high tide.

There, and dig faster, the tide catches here it'll save the King's hangman some rope.

There you are, deep enough to bury a man in.

Give us a hand mate.

- All ready Captain. - Down she goes.

What are you waiting for?

Well Captain, that chest is been in your cabin a longish time.

And we all thought as it would do no harm to open up that chest...

and make sure that what was in it then is in it now.

I suppose you remember what was in it.

Aye, I remember an emerald necklace that came off that Portuguese ship, El Vengar.

And all those pearls that we took from the big ship, the Virgin Queen.

I remember a diamond medallion we got from that Moorish galleon off Madagascar.

And could we ever forget that silver casket with the arms of Lord Blayne...

that you claimed for yourself after the taking of the Twelve Apostles sir?

Your neck will be stretched as long as your memory one of this days.

Satisfied, gallows meat? Put them back.

Lower away.

Matter?

Wait a minute Captain, there's something else you forgot.

What do you want to now? We got an half an hour before the tide traps us.

May be sir, we all equal in this I take it.

Equal shares, yes.

Well that key then, what you put back in your belt, that goes down with the chest.

Thus we start all clear and no favors.

If some of us don't get back, it'll be that much easier open for them as does.

Question me honor again, would you? And I'll rip you from belly to chime.

Are we such callous rascals that we'd leave a dead comrade...

without commending his soul to his new master?

Here lies one who through treachery and avarice...

would've placed in jeopardy the lives of honest men.

And here may he lie forever, in the sands of Madagascar.

Rest in peace.

It's time to be out my lads, time to be away.

If a gentleman is a gentleman, he's gentleman, that's all there's to it, sir

I'm one of nature's gentlemen, but I need polish my good man..

If I'm to improve myself...

A gentleman employs the terminology my good man only when addressing lower servants...

- or his inferior sir. - You see? That's why I need you.

- In my upbringing... - A gentleman never sucks his teeth sir.

Many a man's social career has been ruined by less sir.

You seem to know your business. I want the best mind and I can pay for it.

Hundred quid a year.

An infallible mark of the person of quality...

is his reluctance to pay his domestics high wages.

- You don't say so. - Merely a idiosyncrasy of good breeding sir.

Sixty quid a year then?

You realize I've never been on board a ship before sir.

- Oh don't let that frighten you. - To the contrary.

In fact, since I was a nipper...

I've a rather adventurous inclination towards life on the bounding main.

- It should be quite educational sir. - You'll learn a lot, no doubt.

- Is it a bargain then? - Very well, sir.

My hand on it?

Then, it is your proposal, my Lord Bellomont that Captain Kidd...

sail to meet our ambassador Lord Fallsworth and give him safe convoy

through the perilous waters of Madagascar.

- May it please Your Majesty. - Yes.

That need a bold and adventurous man.

Bring in this Captain Kidd while we take the measure of him.

Captain William Kidd.

Your Royal Majesty and other Lords..

Bellomont, is this your roaring killer of Spanish buccaneers?

Nay me Lord, I'm only a peaceful ship-master who must do trade with other ships...

without inquiring too closely about their business.

And it was so I fell into the hands of the Twelve Apostles.

- A King's ship turned pirate. - In Madagascar waters?

I have never been in Madagascar waters your Grace.

It was off the southern tip of Africa, where I had gone to trade in elephant's teeth.

- Who commanded her? - One of your admirals Your Majesty.

- Name of Lord Blayne. - He did turn pirating.

Sufficiently me Lords, to put fear in honest traders like myself.

And if you are successful in this voyage Captain, what reward do you expect?

May it please Your Majesty, having forfeited me honor in that I was...

forced to strike me colors to a pirate...

I want no reward but to regain it In the service of Your Majesty.

Unless it be, is it true that Lord Blayne's lands are estreated and his title forfeit.

Yes.

All, well, all I ask is if I lay this renegade nobleman by the heels...

is that you honor the humble self with his castle and his lands.

- Is that all you want Captain Kidd? - Not a farthing more Your Majesty.

The fellow treats of a title so lightly he must be bursting with noble blood.

Though I confess he keeps it well hid.

Aye sir, you can no more judge of a man by his appearance...

than you can judge the extent of a nobleman's brains by the expensiveness of his wig.

Am I to suppose that the Captain of the King's Guard would deign to fence with me.

Come Captain, is your courage less than your wit?

Nay sir, I know nothing of the fence.

You must come at me, quickly as though you'd kill me.

Very well then.

I ask pardon Sire, I've a hot head when roused, I only meant to demonstrate.

And to good purpose Captain.

Your Majesty is satisfied with the Captain of our choosing?

- I can think of none better. - I thank you sir.

And now Captain...

the main mission of your crew will be to meet a great ship.

The Queda merchant, which is sailing from India with vast treasures.

And to give her safe conduct in my name...

past the perilous waters of Madagascar.

But Your Majesty, will her commander accept me letter of mark as sufficient authority to.

You shall have a letter to our ambassador Lord Fallsworth who's returning in her.

That he is to accept your protection.

And to submit to all matters pertaining to the safety of the ship.

- And her treasures Sire. - Oh yes.

- And now Sire, me crew... - Your crew?

Captain Kidd who wishes to recruit a crew from the pirates...

now under capital sentence in Newgate and the Marshal sea.

- A crew of condemned pirates? - Aye Sire.

There's none would be so loyal nor fight so desperately...

as cutthroats under sentence of death...

If they knew that at the end of the voyage...

a Royal pardon would be in their pockets.

But I shall hold you accountable for their good conduct.

Between their conduct and mine Your Majesty, there will be little to choose.

And now goodbye.

- And God speed you. - I am but his unworthy sparrow.

I'd rather eat the bilge slime from an African slaver.

Oh Adam, don't let your temper get you the lash again.

If I must hang I'll hang, but I'll go to the gallows with clean guts at least.

Hey you, what kind of stinking maggots meat is this?

Wardens, wardens.

There's that dainty scum Mercy complaining about the taste of the King's bounty again.

- Watch it. - Bounty?

Bounty me eye.

The King's allowance is thru-pence a day for food not muck from the sewers of Whitechapel.

Making trouble again, hey Mercy?

I'm asking only what a man is legally entitled to.

Here, smell this.

Delicious.

Hear you Guvnor.

What sort of a kingdom is this?

Where a man is condemned before he's heard and starved before they hang him.

Who is that quarrelsome feller?

Adam Mercy, he is taken in a pirate ship by his Majesty's frigate Wasp.

He's always escaping so that's why we keep him in chains.

He's got a lacing of tiger's blood in him.

This ain't exactly a flower garden, is it?

Oh, forgive me, these are two of me officers Mr Boyle, Guvnor Landers...

Mr Lorenzo, Guvnor Landers.

Spanish blood.

- A pretty lot of sinners. - Capit�n...

Do you think there is anyone down there knows us?

I hope not.

Guvnor, would you be good enough to tell them what we are here for?

Give heed you, you vermin.

Here news to your advantage.

- Is the hangman dead then? - Out with it then, Jack nasty face.

Is it that your mother's turned into an honest woman?

Silence, you mutinous dogs.

If another man speaks I'll trice him up by the thumbs and flay him raw.

Guvnor, is that the way to win the love of these unfortunate gentlemen?

Now then me bullies, would you rather do the gallows dance...

and hang in chains till the crows pick your eyes from your rotting skull...

or would you feel the roll of a stout ship beneath your feet again?

I've a vessel, the Adventure galley and the King's commission to sail her.

And for those who show a loyal and a stout heart there's a Royal pardon in the offing.

Which of you knows the waters of Madagascar?

- I do. - Would you have him unlocked Guvnor?

Warden, unlock him.

Look you then, I want men with iron in their blood and steel in their sinews.

And the first up here is the first enlisted.

Guvnor, if your wardens are ready, would you be good enough to have them lower the ropes.

Lower away.

Here they come, make ready lads.

Put your hands on that, I'll make you a free man.

The other now.

Next.

Next one, come on.

- Name. - Philip Shaftstow.

Philip Shaftstow, regardless of the fact that I'm your Captain...

you will always address a gentleman as sir scum.

- Aye sir. - Make your mark.

On board.

- Name. - Adam Mercy sir.

Oh, so it's you.

Mercy, that's a comical handle for a blade of fortune, Mercy.

It's also something the world needs more of.

A quite and gentle philosopher, you speak cultured.

Were you by any chance a stable boy to a noble house?

Perhaps.

I was also Master Gunner to a buccaneer you may have heard of, Captain Avery.

Avery's Master Gunner?

We needed a Master Gunner Mr Boyle and from what I've heard...

Avery was a shrewd hand at picking them.

The berth is yours for as long as you can handle it.

I can handle it.

Swivel gun or long arm, I'll forfeit a guinea for every miss.

You'll forfeit your neck if you miss while you're on my ship. Make your mark.

And you can write.

We'll give you a nice bath, you'll draw a uniform befitting a Master Gunner.

- On board. - Next man.

- Name. - Bartholomew Blivens sir.

Bartholomew Blivens, make your mark.

Down below.

- Captain aboard? - He's over there sir.

Next man.

That's all sir, our complement is full.

- Povey? I thought you... - Yes, you thought I was dead.

- I can hardly believe my eyes. - You mean you don't want to believe them.

Now come, come Mr Povey, is that kind or is that fair?

As fair as what you did the day you abandoned me on a Bahama reef.

Oh please Mr Povey, this not the time to talk about that.

Oh, it's the time alright, unless you want me to know.

In which case your present voyage is over before it's begun.

Now, now, now, now, Povey. Mr Boyle, would you take over, please?

Mr Lorenzo, take the deck watch.

Come to my cabin.

My heart bleeds when I think of one of your...

delicate constitution having to fend for yourself on a coral reef Mr Povey.

Come off it Captain.

I know why you marooned me.

You thought there'd be only three of you to share, instead of four.

It's true, a hostile wind did blow us away from your reef.

Between friends, we might've sailed back, it's exactly what you would've done Mr Povey.

So no more of your sentimental nonsense please.

- Now that we are four again, what then? - We are not four.

We are two, Boyle and Lorenzo, dull clods.

Twenty thousand pounds a piece in their hands would only be spent in sinful ways.

Are you propose to remove them from the path of temptation.

How? A knife in the dark?

I am not a violent man Mr Povey, I detest violence.

People have such an awkward habit of getting in my way.

I'm an ambitious man Mr Povey.

An ambitious man, if he be bold enough, can carve himself a kingdom.

I'm going to be a Lord my friend.

And that for a commoner like myself takes a deal of money.

And that's why there could be two less to share.

- Before we raise old England again? - You cold-gutted shark.

A flatterer.

Oh, I'm glad you're back in Mr Povey.

You've no idea how gratifying it is to have a congenial soul to confide in.

Thank you.

There's something I want to tell you.

I've left with a trusted friend in London a sealed letter containing an exact...

and complete account of certain previous events.

Only to be open in case, just in case of course...

you should happen to return to England without me.

Of course my dear fellow, very sensible of you.

Now I know you'll have a happy voyage. I shall too.

I'll look up me quarters.

We are two of the luckiest man alive, just think...

We are sailing for Madagascar waters, we'll pick up the search where we left off.

Every officer on board has a servant.

I'll request the Captain to assign you to me, then we'd be together.

Yes, I've spent a good many years of my life at sea Milady...

But I doubt if any woman minds a dash of salt even in a Peer of the Realm like myself.

Now, if Me Lady would join me in a minuet?

- My Lady sir, not me Lady. - Blast me Shadwell.

Does one gentleman creep up on another without a cough or a spit or something to warn him?

I'm not a gentleman sir, I'm a gentleman's gentleman.

Pity about the hair.

I have you've tried everything? Bear's grease?

Prenatal influence perhaps?

Dinner is served, sir.

- Thank you Shadwell. - Pardon sir.

I'll show you to your place.

Captain, what's all this mummery?

You can forget your bilge-water manners for the time, Mr Boyle.

You are now officer on a King's ship.

So a man must starve while his manners fatten.

I know, I know.

And in a King's ship it is customary for the officers to rise when the Captain enters.

That's better. Gentlemen be seated.

Well, well, well, what have we here?

- You must not do that sir. - Of course, but don't press me.

Come Mr Mercy, tell us something about yourself.

You already know whatever's of consequence sir.

While under Avery I was taken by a King's ship and brought to London.

There I was tried for a pirate and condemned.

You were innocent, of course.

- No sir, I was guilty. - You speak above your station.

- How came you to go on the account? - Call it love of adventure...

cost in love, scandal, perhaps a mix of all three.

And you've seen something of the world?

Enough sir, to dislike what I've seen and know there's small hope for a better.

Perhaps you prefer the next world Mr Mercy.

You were close enough to it when you were in the condemned hold at Newgate.

But I'm keeping you from your dinner.

And now gentlemen.

A toast to the King and since proposing it is a privilege of the youngest present...

the honor falls to Mr Mercy.

- Mr Mercy, we are waiting. - No sir.

Since I've little love for the King, I'll neither propose his health nor drink it.

Never the less you are on a King's ship.

King's ship or the devil's it's all the same to me sir, I owe him nothing.

You owe him your neck Mr Mercy, if it were not for his bounty...

you'd be dancing daintily on air at Wapping.

I owe my reprieve to you Captain, so to you I'll drink gladly but not to William.

You stand up and drink to his Majesty's health as a King's officer should...

or by fire and flame I'll have you shipped back to Newgate on the first vessel we speak.

Gentlemen, the King.

- The King. - God bless him.

It's curious.

Do you suppose His Majesty put him on board to spy us out?

We've found him chained to a pillar in Newgate.

Wouldn't be to hard for the King to plant him there.

Yes, but why would he speak so openly against the King?

Your wits are even duller than usual Mr Lorenzo.

Have you never heard of the serpent...

that takes the color of it's background the better to strike?

- Shadwell... - Yes sir.

You have a knowledge of high born people and those of the courtship.

- Have you ever seen Mr Mercy before? - Not before this voyage, sir.

He has as high a spirit as a gentleman of quality, I like him.

Would you find out who he is and where he comes from?

- As you wish sir. - Thank you Shadwell.

- Foggy night. - Good evening, Shadwell.

Excuse me sir but you seafaring men always seem to be looking at something...

that I never can see...

We are looking for something just over the horizon.

You know sir, I recognized you for a gentleman the moment I saw you sir.

What are you a valet doing at sea?

The Captain employed me to make him socially acceptable sir.

I'm afraid we're too far out for me to swim back.

- If I can be of service to you sir. - Did the Captain send you here?

- Yes sir. - Why?

He wants to know who or what you are sir.

Who do they think I am?

Possibly a spy placed on board by His Majesty.

This seemed uneasy sir.

This, this Captain Kidd, how long have you known him? Have you sailed with him before?

Oh, no sir. All I know is, he's a, well, among other things...

a merchant captain.

A spy, that's strange. Why should they be afraid to be spied on?

- Goodnight Shadwell. - Good night sir.

- Who is he? Where is he from? - He's a nobody, sir.

He was employed by persons of quality in where he learned his speech and his manners.

It's a matter of judgment.

If you fire on the up-roll, the shot will go over his yardarms.

But if you wait for the down roll, the enemy is coming up. Now watch.

Get ready.

Fire.

Pretty shot Mr Mercy.

Can you do as well with a 74 throwing grape and canister at you?

I've done it sir.

Reload and secure and pick up your practice on the lower quarter swivel gun..

Mr Mercy?

If you sailed with Avery, you must know these waters.

Fairly sir.

If we needed to careen and take on stores, where would you recommend?

Ponticos Bay, it lies...

We draw to much water, you remember Captain...

Remember what?

I only know the Spanish main, these are Madagascar waters.

- Ponticos Bay? - Aye sir.

Thank you Mr Mercy, come along Mr Boyle.

You blundering ass.

Your presence is becoming increasingly irksome to me, get you below.

Now let's get down to the business of this voyage.

Hand me that chart Mr Boyle.

Capitan, I have been thinking every day and every night.

What about that dinero that was buried in the cave?

What good is it there? Let's get it and get back where we can spend it.

- It stays where it is for a while. - Why?

We've got a fatter prize sailing right into our pockets.

Now.

Here is our present position, here is Madagascar, here is Calicut.

In June, the great galleon, the Queda Merchant...

sails from Calicut to England.

We should meet her about here.

She's stuffed from keel to gunnels with treasure to the value of half million pounds.

Half...?

And we are to give her safe passage through the pirate seas.

By safe passage you mean we are to take her Captain?

No no, don't be greedy Mr Povey, I grant that most of what's in her may...

find it's way into our pockets but let's be fair, the King...

poor gentleman, will expect something. But however we do it...

must be done legal like and honest.

Stick to ways you are familiar with.

Why, you pox riddled villain I can be as honest as any man if I have the incentive.

Oh yes, me Lord Blayne.

Lord Blayne's name is not be mentioned among us Mr Povey, he's dead,

so his crew and so's ours and there's none outside this...

cabin that knows what became of them.

And if you all enjoy living, you will remember that.

Well.

Here's to our meeting with the Queda merchant.

- Queda merchant. - Queda merchant.

- God bless her. - Dios la bendiga.

Wind fresh from West North-West, sir.

Course Northeast by East, night dark but clear.

Very well, Mr. Mercy.

- North-East by East. - North-East by East sir.

Missing down, it's Mr Boyle.

Lend a hand men.

Man down.

- What happened? - He is dead.

If I find the man that's responsible for this, I'll hang him.

Fetch the yard and re-set it.

- What do you suppose happened? - Someone's been tampering with this lines.

We are gathered together to pit farewell to a gallant seaman and a stout comrade.

Here was a man, shipmates...

Whose heart, the flinty mountains could not match.

Who always took better than he gave.

Whose benevolence was such...

The orphan's might and the rich man's gold alike found refuge in his pocket.

A jealous Providence has removed him from oust.

And I esteem it a privilege to commit his body to the deep.

We shall all mourn him.

Aye, we shall mourn him but take comfort me friends, we shall never see his like again.

Rest in peace. Pop him over.

Pity Mr Mercy, a great pity, but the ship's work must go on.

Move your gear into poor Mr Boyle's cabin, you will take his place as Master.

As Master.

Aye sir.

Why, Shadwell.

Don't tell me after all this time at sea...

My inward revolt is not for the movement of the vessel sir...

is occasioned by the company I endure.

The manners I say nothing of sir.

But I am a Dorcestershire man...

and when I find a common ship's master is the presumption...

to copy himself the coat of arms of one of our best Dorcestershe families...

can you wonder if I'm physically upset?

- Whose crest was he copying? - Credit it or not sir, the Blayne crest.

Are you certain?

Perfectly sir, the crest in on Orange desk's. Pardon me sir, I must join the captain.

He's inspecting a cask of pickled eels with Mr Lorenzo.

Well, Mr. Mercy.

Do your new duties include robbing my desk?

Shoot me Captain and your head goes with it, I'm here by the King's order.

So he did plant you on board.

You think he let a man sail with a crew of Newgate cut-throats and not keep tabs on him?

And with good reason,.

If anything ever reaches the Palace this does and murder Captain.

Boyle's death was no accident.

By the way, what ship was sunk here, the Twelve Apostles?

Why the Twelve Apostles Mr Mercy?

Here's Blayne's ring, his name is on it, he commanded the Twelve Apostles.

That will make interesting telling in London when we get back Captain.

- If you get back. - When I get back, for if I don't...

- On the other hand... - On the other hand, what?

Since a man doesn't exactly grow rich in the King's pay...

A crooked rogue, so you have your price, how much?

- An equal share in what's buried here. - Share that with you I'll be hanged if I do.

- You'll be hanged if you don't. - Of all the slumocky blaggards.

And if you do share, Mr King's informer, what guarantee is there that you won't...

still turn evidence to the Crown?

If I go in with you, I am equally guilty.

And if we are caught, we hang together but...

I can keep you from being caught. What more could you ask?

You know Mr Mercy...

I wondered sometimes if ever I'd meet a more unscrupulous blaggard than myself.

And I have, but let's be sensible about this.

Who knows, we might be useful to each other one day.

In one way or another?

You've forgotten something, the ring.

So I have.

Listen in carefully because I want you to tell it in London if anything happens to me.

Kidd caught me in his cabin robbing his desk.

I lied to him, told him I was a King's informant.

Good.

Yes but he didn't believe me, not one word, he just pretended to.

Oh, why didn't you shoot him? Then he would give us no more trouble.

That's a pleasure I'm reserving for later.

He proves the liar I think him.

King's man or no, he betrayed an uncommon interest in the Twelve Apostles.

I didn't like it Mr Lorenzo, I mean to find out why.

Why, you could've charged him of robbery and

turned off to the yardarm and all legal and shipshape.

You would've been rid of him once and for all.

Let's not be impetuous Mr Povey. He can't leave us, unless he swims.

It'll be rather amusing to find out what he does.

You rest easy, leave Mr Mercy to me.

Sail ho-ho.

Sail ho-ho.

- Have the bosun pipe the chorus. - Pipe the chorus.

The Queda merchant, sure enough.

Can you make her out Captain Rawson?

She hasn't the cut of a buccaneer Your Excellency.

Much too tidy for that more like a King's ship.

Yet she has the lines of a merchantman.

- Have the longboat ready and manned. - Longboat off board.

Stand by to putty a shot across her bows Mr Mercy.

Aye sir.

Number four gun crew stand by for action.

She's flying the English colors.

Perhaps she is our escort ship.

It was about here we were to meet, wasn't it?

Though we make it certain just the same.

Mr Gillian, see that all hands are at their stations.

Very good, sir.

Ready? Fire.

Well placed Mr Mercy.

- Hard to starboard. - Hard to starboard.

Starboard she is sir.

You will come across with us in the longboat Mr Mercy.

And pay my compliments to all officers, who will dress as befitting a King's ship.

Aye sir.

Captain William Kidd of his Majesty's privateer Adventure at your service sir.

Mr Povey me surgeon, Mr Mercy me master, Mr Lorenzo me navigator.

Welcome aboard gentlemen, I'm Captain Rawson.

I'm Lord Fallsworth, his Majesty's ambassador at the court of the Grand Mogul.

Your obedient servant sir.

I've been sent to give you convoy and we better make haste with our business.

These are unhealthy waters, the ship could be hove to, as I discovered a day or so ago.

You mean you sighted some of the pirate brotherhood?

More than that sir, we beat off two of them.

Avery and Culliford, out of Last Hope, some thirty leagues South of here.

Oh stop there, I nearly forgot, could you spare us some powder.

For we used more then expected in the action?

Why, all that you need sir, and welcome.

Mr Lorenzo here could attend to that then?

Oh Mr Gillian, take Mr Lorenzo below and see to that he gets what he wants.

- Aye aye sir. - Captain.

I'll send for the master gunner, he'll take care of all your needs.

Mr Lorenzo.

Take this powder and put it in the longboat.

Aye aye sir.

Gentlemen, my daughter. The Lady Anne Dunstan.

Captain Kidd, Mr Povey, Mr Mercy.

- Haven't we met before? - I think not, My Lady.

You remind me of someone I've seen.

I think it impossible that we could have ever met.

Perhaps.

How do we proceed now, Captain?

Well, I'm instructed to give you protection past Madagascar.

And you'll be safe as long as we sail in company.

But Avery will be a wolf at your heels and if we are separated in darkness or storm...

And what would you advise then, sir?

Well...

I suppose we could take Lord Fallsworth and Lady Anne...

aboard the Adventure of Madagascar and then if we are separated and this...

- vessel should be taken... - What about the treasure on board?

One silver chest alone.

A present to His Majesty from the Grand Mogul.

Contains precious gems valued at more than a million pounds.

May I suggest, your Excellency...

Now, why not transfer the treasure chest with yourself and Lady Anne...

on board the Adventure until we are out of danger?

- She is a King's ship. - That is a great responsibility.

And although my instructions are that you are to trust me in all matters...

- I don't know if I could go so far as... - What else can we do?

Three of them against us? Or even two sir, we'd be helpless.

- It's the wisest course. - I defer to your Excellency.

Now could we inspect the chests?

We could have them slung into our boats along with the...

- gear of Lord Fallsworth and Lady Anne. - Why, certainly. This way Captain.

No trouble at all.

Hoist away.

Mr Povey.

I've sent for the manifest Captain.

You may check it against the content of this chest and give me your receipt, if you will.

Gladly, gladly.

Oh, there you are Mr Lorenzo. Have you completed your business?

Almost sir.

Your people have been most kind Capitan Rawson.

There is only one detail left, it will not take a minute.

Finish it up then, we must be gone within the hour.

Yes Capitan.

- The manifest sir. - Would you attend to that Mr Povey?

Thank you very much Captain.

Come Mr Lorenzo.

You've seen a lovely lady before this.

A tribute to your beauty Ma'am.

Did you finish your business below?

Yes Capitan Kidd.

Then we better be under way.

Mr Mercy, you will see Lord Fallsworth and the Lady Anne into the boat.

Aye sir.

Make way for the longboat.

You will have the luggage Mr Lorenzo.

I apologize My Lady for our poor accommodation.

But me valet Shadwell will see that you are made comfortable.

A pleasure to have your Ladyship aboard, if you will follow me please.

Why hasn't it happened?

- She's blown up. - Someone must touch over her magazine.

Send down some boats at once sir.

You ask me to risk men near that?

- Let it go. - Captain.

Papa.

Excuse me My Lady.

Your father, may I say how sorry I am.

The captain is requested that you take your meals in the main cabin.

Oh no Shadwell, I can't bear to face those men. I can't.

I quite understand My Lady. But the Captain's orders are orders.

Shadwell, you must help me, there's no one else I can trust.

What can I do My Lady? I'm only a servant.

Where can I turn? I'm so confused and frightened.

I keep thinking of my father and the others lost back there.

But on this ship wherever I go, those horrible staring men.

Like Lorenzo, who's always standing behind me, beside me.

Last night there was a tapping on the door.

When I opened it there he was, the evil smiling face of his.

We might've been better along with those pirates you fought a few days ago.

Pirates Milady? We fought no pirates.

Well, my father said Captain Kidd told...

Shadwell, what manner of ship this is?

My father was killed deliberately, I'm sure of it.

That's why I can't bear to face your Captain, I'd accuse him.

There's a man on board My Lady, a gentleman.

Whom I know you can trust.

- Mr Mercy? - Yes my Lady.

Shadwell, I know I've met or seen him before no matter how he denies it.

His name isn't Mercy, who is he?

All I really know is My Lady, he is no friend of the Captain's.

Perhaps if I ask him, he'll, shall I?

- Oh yes, will you please? - Yes, My Lady.

I'm asking you again very nice...

My dear Capitan.

Your fancy manners do not impress me Mr Lorenzo.

- When do we divide the gold? - In London, not before.

Then look Capitan, I will make a bargain with you.

A bargain? Everybody wants to bargain with me, you and Mercy.

Farther and farther, who do you think I am, a stinking sausage merchant?

What kind of a bargain?

The girl.

All my life I have dreamed of a beautiful woman like that.

Give me half of my dinero now and you can split the rest between you.

If you will let me have her.

Five on him, he's smitten with love again.

I want her and I'm going to take her.

Whether I like it or not?

With all this treasure on board the crew is like a barrel of hot gunpowder...

All that is needed is a word in the right ears.

Do you mean mutiny? You're a witness.

- He is inciting the crew to mutiny. - No, no, no, no, Capitan.

I was only joking.

You have a very nasty way of joking Mr Lorenzo.

As for the girl, I've my own plans for her and they do not include you.

Get out.

- Who is it? - Adam Mercy.

Mister I...

- Thank you for coming, Mr Mercy, I... - My name is Adam Blayne.

Son of Lord Blayne?

I knew it, I knew. What are you doing on this ship?

My father was killed and accused of piracy.

- Few people believe that Lord Blayne... - The King did it.

That's why I went to sea and turned pirate three years ago, that's why I'm on this ship.

I knew that someday I'd come upon the truth.

And you have?

It was Captain Kidd who killed your father, wasn't it?

Adam I am no fool, he did the same thing to my father.

The fat butcher.

It's taken me three years to track him down, three years of degradation.

Now I got him where I want him and he knows it.

- You mean he knows who you are? - He knows something.

That's why you didn't get me to know you, why you avoided me.

If Kidd knew we shared this he'd kill you with...

as little compunction as he means to kill me, if I let him.

What can I do to help? There must be something.

Forget everything you've seen on this ship.

Play up to him, be friendly. That way you'll be safe.

Now, when you get back to London, no matter what has happened to me...

Go to the Lord of the Admiralty and the King.

You'll be doing me a great service as well as yourself.

I will Adam, I promise.

We're going to have trouble with Lorenzo.

Speaking as a lion who's exciting the tiger.

His blood is getting too rich for him. He'd be the better for a bleeding.

Things are getting a bit complicated me Lord.

The King may accept the elimination of the Queda merchant as an accident.

Maybe even the sudden demise of Lord Fallsworth.

But what about the Lady?

You said you had plans for her, do they include...

Mr Povey, the little dear is as safe with me as if she was me daughter.

My passion is power and gold, since she suspects nothing...

I'll deliver her to His Majesty along with his share of the Queda Merchant's goods...

I'll weep appropriately over the untimely demise of her Pa.

Receive the grateful thanks of me Sovereign and a peerage is mine.

Mi lord.

That is your will but that's what I'll have. And neither man nor devils shall stop me.

- Shadwell. - Se�orita, Milady. Do not be alarmed.

Now that she knows who I am and what kind of a ship she's on.

I think we can count on her to keep ahead.

You stay here till I come off watch.

Help.

Shadwell.

Use your head Mr Povey.

Luck with us tonight, which of either them would you like to see survive?

Mr Mercy, you did well to protect her.

- Are you alright sir? - Yes, I'm alright, look after Lady Anne.

Adam, what's the matter?

My medallion is gone, has the Blayne crest on it.

Blayne?

Perhaps I can find it for you sir.

No, it must've come off just before Lorenzo went through the port.

- Shadwell, take Lady Anne to her cabin. - Please Adam, I can't go in there.

You must Anne, this is serious, it involves you.

Remember, no matter what tricks he tries, you've never seen me

before and you don't know who I am.

- Shadwell I think... - Don't worry about me sir.

He never could get anything out of me and he never will.

It's the only way you'll be safe. Shadwell will watch out of you.

What about you Adam? What will he do?

The same thing he's done with the others, if he gets a chance.

Oh Adam.

Don't worry Anne, at least I know what to expect.

Go now.

Shadwell, if anything does happen, remember you're to stand by Lady Anne and...

- see that she gets safely to London. - I'll stake my life on it sir.

- I know you will. - Be careful Adam.

Please be careful.

Come My Lady.

- He's no King's man. - Who is he then?

Tomorrow we put into the lagoon for water, while the crew is getting it on board...

you and me and Mr Mercy is going to the cave.

You aren't taking him there?

I've a peculiar humor to watch my clever young friend's face when we dig up that chest.

Sweet dreams.

Dig fast Mr Mercy, we haven't got forever.

Who might this be?

Perhaps a man that asked too many questions.

Gently now Mr Mercy, you've came on something.

- So it was the Twelve Apostles, hey Captain? - Yes it was Mr Mercy.

Open it up.

- Blayne's. - Blayne's.

He was a brave seaman but foolish. Did you happen to know him Mr Mercy?

- I've heard of him. - I thought perhaps you had.

This...

is yours, isn't it?

I traded a ring for it.

- One of Avery's men. - Yes.

When I encountered Lord Blayne at sea I did my simple duty as a loyal subject.

A pity he turned pirate and traitor to his King.

Liar.

He's meat for the sharks now Mr Povey.

The tide closes this place in half an hour, we've nothing more to fear.

Yes you have Captain, Lady Anne.

It's a long voyage home Mr Povey and anything might happen.

Naturally her Ladyship is still very distressed sir.

In the midst of life we are in death Shadwell.

- Although me heart... - My heart sir.

My heart bleeds...

Confound you Shadwell, you've drove the thought right out of me...

and it was an uncommon pretty one.

- I'm sure of that sir. - Go to her at once.

Tell her she can't mourn forever and I shall expect...

her to take her meals in the main cabin with the rest of us.

Very well sir.

Poor lad.

We turned just in time to see him go over the edge.

Searched for an hour, never came out. Well, here's to him.

Wherever he is. You filling ill?

Yes sir.

I'll go to my cabin with your permission.

If you wish, it's been quite a trying voyage.

What with one little thing or another but bear up, you'll soon be home again.

I warned Adam not to go.

- No one could've stopped him. - Was cold bloody, planned, deliberate.

The same will happen to her Ladyship, unless we can...

Adam.

Adam, how did you?

If he finds you on board sir?

- I've come back for Lady Anne. - Oh, thank you sir.

I've been hanging on the rudder chain since dark waiting for the turn of the watch.

The jolly-boat is moored astern.

I've waited along side, it's secured right down this port.

Bart, get in it then, flip at under the main cabin.

Well now, get me some dry clothes. Shadwell, where is the captain?

In his own cabin with Mr Povey, sir.

Examining the silver chest they brought back on board sir.

My father's chest. Shadwell, Kidd doesn't suspect you.

Tell Lady Anne to get some things together and when the coast is clear you come back for me.

Yes, sir.

- Master. - Aye sir.

Rouse out both watches at daybreak, we'll weigh on the morning tide.

Aye sir.

Adam.

Kidd doesn't suspect Shadwell, he's staying on board and he'll be evidence for us in London.

Bart has a small boat moored astern, we'll row ashore.

Then where Adam?

Two days journey overland is the pirate town of Last Hope.

It's the most lawless place on earth but I've friends there.

- Somehow they'll find us a ship for England. - England?

- Now. - Come on.

Sit down in the bow.

Goodbye My Lady, goodbye My Lord. Godspeed.

I'll see you in England.

- Ahoy there, who's in that boat now? - Come on.

Come on.

Fire.

Thank you...

melord.

Fire.

Down the longboat.

Bart.

Bart.

Hold on to me.

Take her away.

- They're as dead as a mackerel. - He's gone through.

Now, I guess that's the end of them Captain.

And good riddance. Back to the ship boys.

If you are thinking what I think you're thinking my friend, forget it.

There's the little matter of a letter I've left in London.

Spoilsport.

Captain William Kidd.

Greetings Captain, what news have you brought me from the Indian seas?

By your leave Your Majesty, both good and ill, but mostly very good indeed.

I returned by way of the American colonies Sire.

So I understood. With the main points of your voyage, I am familiar.

I wonder if you could enlighten me...

about the affair of the Queens godchild Lady Anne Dunstan and your ship-master Mr Mercy?

Oh that poor impetuous fellow Sire...

inveigled that bud of innocence he did, into running away with him.

And catching him red handed in defense of me very life I was force to dispatch them both.

Rest in peace.

Tell me Captain about the treasure and the Queda merchant.

Unfortunate Sire, most unfortunate.

We shipped that chest when that ship blew and all souls went heavenward.

Rest in peace to them, ditto.

I see.

And after Twelve Apostles and Lord Blayne, did you encounter any trace?

Nay Sire, I can only hope that the weight of his sins sank both him and his ship.

I see, then how do you explain this?

Whose might that be Your Majesty?

My officers found it on your ship at Plymouth after you left for London.

It bears the Blayne crest with which I believe you are not unfamiliar.

I've always thought that Mr Povey, me surgeon, a very wily...

fellow indeed was hiding something from me.

Hiding it in a secret locker in your cabin Captain?

I hope Mr Povey has a proper explanation Sire.

Mr Povey was killed three days ago defending it...

with his dying oath he swore it was not his.

Perhaps Shadwell, me valet slipped it aboard.

Might it not have come from a Madagascar cave Captain?

Time will get me clear about all this Your Majesty.

Enough of your lies.

Look.

A nightmare.

Pity you overlooked Last Hope Captain.

We stood on the headland with my friend Avery and watched you sail by.

May it please Your Majesty I accuse this man of piracy and murder.

Was ever a gentleman so misfortunate?

Lock him up in Newgate.

He's to be held for the next session of the court, there to be tried for his life.

Hands off me, you scum.

All I've done was to the credit and for the honor and glory of England.

So here's me bequest, to them what hunts what I have hid...

and to their sons' sons, down trough the endless corridors of time...

Greed, that spawns murder.

Hatred, that corrodes the soul.

Ambition, the foulest strumpet of all.

Hey Jack, Jack hey, sell me that hang-rope for sixpence, will you?

Save your money me lad.

You can have it all for nothing if you'd only step up here and wear it.

Hurry up Jack, can't wait forever.

Captain Kidd is dead My Lord Blayne, his account is closed.

Now, in what manner can I atone for the injustice I worked upon your father?

Offer you a First Sea Lord? What you suggest?

We have a fine frigate of fifty guns. Commissioned for American waters Sire.

That we sought of naming, the Lady Anne.

It shall be a wedding gift to you from the Crown...

for your loyalty and service to King and Country.

Houdini (1953)

Let's enter, young ladies.

Our show is the act of refinement.

It will astound you and amaze you.

It is also educational, and it costs you only 10 cents.

- Come on, let's go inside. - But we told the dean w were going to the art institute.

- If they find out we'll get in trouble. - He said it was educational, didn't he?

- Let's go. - Come on!

Right this way, young ladies. Four tickets for the young ladies.

And now ladies and gentlemen...

If you follow me to the outer range of the museum...

As we approach the cage, proceed with extreme cautious.

Because, as I introduced to you Pluto, the wild man

who was captured in the wild of Africa,

he's just as wild and ferocious today

as the day he was captured.

Not too close, ladies, because it was women that made the wild man wild.

If you please, Mr. Schultz.

Stop it! Stop it!

- If you treat him like a beast then he becomes one. - What do you mean?

Just stop hitting him, that's all.

- Look out! Are you crazy? - You made him that way! Don't beat him anymore!

Herbie!

Now, if you young ladies and the rest of you folks will just follow up to the next platform

I want to introduce you to the world'd greatest phenomenon:

The Pretzel twins.

They will bend, twist and curve in a...

Now look here, young lady, if you don't leave that man alone you have to leave the place.

- Why? I didn't do anything to him. - He's dangerous.

Last time he grabbed a girl she disappeared, puff!

Now leave! Leave him alone!

What's the matter with you?

- Hi, Harry. - Hi, Joan.

Thank you, Mary and Sadie.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, if we all just move over to the next platform,

I want to introduce to you a man

who has all the wizardry of modern magic at his fingertips.

Not a man of 1,000 tricks, but a man of 10,000 tricks.

He will not only amaze and astound you,

but will confound you with his modern piece of magic.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Great Houdini.

Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen.

For my first trick, a small miracle.

As you see, I have just an ordinary piece of paper.

I take the paper and form a simple cone.

I bend the end.

If you place your attention to the pitcher of milk on the table,

I take the milk and pour it into the magic cone.

To the doubting comers who don't believe this is milk I pour it into the glass.

See?

For the young ladies who like sweet milk

I add a little sugar.

I pick the wand, stir it just a little bit...

Watch.

One, two, three!

Evaporated milk.

That magic's gotta go.

It slows up the turnover.

You can see that, can't you?

Yeah, but he won't play the wild man unless I let him do those tired tricks.

Are you the boss, or aren't you, huh?

Don't you see how all the girls go for the wild man?

That boy has got something, and he won't forget a magic.

Now, for my next trick I shall need the assistence of some volunteer from the audience.

Young lady, would you kindly step upon the platform?

Oh, I can't do anything like that. I don't want to.

- Go, go. - I don't wanna go in front of the audience!

- Come right up here. Don't be afraid. - I...

Thank you. Let's give the young lady a nice hand.

- And this is for assisting me. - Oh, thank you!

What is your name, young lady?

- I don't have the habit to give my name to strangers. - She has not the habit to give her name to strangers.

Uh, have we met before?

- Certainly not! - Much to my misfortune.

Now, will you kindly write your name down on this piece of paper. Don't let me see it! Please!

- Fine. - Thank you.

- Have you written it? - Yes.

Now, put it in the flame and drop it in the urn.

Now concentrate on your name while it's burning.

- Are you concentrating? - Yes.

- Is it burning? - Yes.

Thank you very much.

Now, may I have your hand, please?

Oh, please, it's gonna help the vibrations.

Thank you.

Now, will you close your eyes and concentrate?

- Um, you're not concentrating. - Oh.

I want you to hold my hand real tight, and concentrate,

because I'm going to read your thoughts.

- Oh, my goodness. - Please, you must concentrate.

- All right. - Thank you.

Oh, now I'm getting an image.

And it's a good one.

Oh! I take some ashes...

watch me carefully...

I rub it on my arm.

Watch!

There! Is that your name? Bess?

- Yes! - Thanks.

Do you see? The vibrations do help.

- Thank you. Thank you very much. - And I thank you.

Now, folks, if you step in this direction to the next exhibit.

Oh, I... Don't go. This is for you.

Oh. Thank you.

Don't go.

Let go of my arm.

But if I let you go, I'll never see you again.

I have no intention of seeing you again.

Here!

And now, folks, you could step over in this direction

I will introduce you to the little people The Mystic Isle of Little People.

Believe me when I announce: their names are Mr. and Mrs. Bigger.

Probably because he is bigger than she is.

He doesn't say anything because like all normal husbands he's not allowed to.

Now, in normal life, just like you and me,

she lives in a big home, he lives in a small house.

Don't be afraid!

- I'm not afraid. - Then come here.

You should better get back in your tent before they whip you.

You wouldn't let them whip me, would you?

- I wish I could help you. - Well, you can.

- How? - By having dinner with me tonight.

- Oh, that's the most ridiculous... - Oh, Bess...

- I just wanted to meet you. - Well, you failed!

No, no, Bess...

- Excuse me, ma'am. - Excuse me. Bess...

- The wild man! - No, ma'am...

- Please, let me explain. - Get away from me!

- Bess, I've gotta talk to you! - I don't wanna meet the two of you.

Oh, you could've tears in your eyes for the wild man, but for the great Houdini nothing?

- You're crazy! - Bess!

Get your junk out of here! You are fired!

- All right! - Now, wait a minute!

We can't let him go! I told you....

Let him go! He is fired!

What made you wanna come to Coney Island tonight?

Oh, I don't know, I just wanted to go.

Now that we are here, we could skip these things and going somewhere to ride.

All right. Let's go over there.

- Let's go in here instead. - But you said you wanted a ride.

Oh, we will. Yeah, but later. Let's go in here first. Please!

Huh, Houdini the Great.

Watch it! Watch it closely, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Will Houdini survive or will he become beheaded on this block?

Watch it, watch it, Ladies and Gentlemen.

This is without a doubt the most dangerous feat ever performed before the public.

- Are the ropes securely tied, gentlemen? - Oh, yes, sir.

Thank you, thank you very much. Now, before I start the conveyor...

Ladies and Gentlemen, before I move the switch let's be quiet and make a silent prayer.

Thank you very much.

And now, Houdini, are you ready to defy death?

I'm ready.

Ladies and Gentlemen, watch it closely. I will demonstrate before your very eyes

the murderous power of this saw.

There he goes, Ladies and Gentlemen, on his way to doom.

There's only six feet between him and a horrible death.

This is the most death-defying feat of all time.

Ladies and Gentlemen, 5 feet, 5, feet. He's in trouble now!

Hurry up, hurry up, Houdini, you haven't much time!

4 feet, Ladies and Gentlemen, just 4, now 3!

3 feet, a scary yard, Ladies and Gentlemen!

I can't stand to look at it any longer!

Oh, no, Ladies and Gentlemen, I can't bear to watch it.

I only hope nothing goes wrong.

You are braver than I, Ladies and Gentlemen.

Stop it! Stop it! Stop that thing!

He made it!

Wasn't that tremendous, Ladies and Gentlemen? Wasn't that tremendous?

But he might not make it the next time.

Come and bring your friends, Ladies and Gentlemen.

The next show starts in one half hour.

Thank you, thank you very much.

- Is anything wrong? - No.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we have this evening a new attraction for your special edification.

For centuries man has been searching for the fountain of youth.

Professor Allegari has come all the way from Italy

to demonstrate his sensational discovery.

Ladies and gentlemen, for your special edification

- I give you Professor Allegari! - Someone you know? - No!

- Then stop looking at him. - I can't help it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

if there's an elderly gentleman in the house

who would like to become young again,

please, step right up here, and I wiill rejuvenate him.

Please?

Here's someone that longed in this world.

- Would you be so kind? - What?

- Would you like to be rejuvenated? - You didn't have to ask, son. Thank you.

I don't know what the axeman will say about this but I'm sure I'll give it a try.

- Oh, um, pardon me, young Lady. - It's all right.

Excuse me.

This way, please.

Drink.

That's the same fellow we saw at Coney Island last week.

I know.

Oh, that's why you insisted to come here, isn't it?

- I had no idea he would be here. - Then why did you pick this of all places to come?

I don't know, Fred.

Do you mind if we go?

- But we just got here! - I don't know what's the matter. Let's go.

What happened to the party that was here?

I don't know. They just left.

They didn't even order anything.

I looked for you at the museum

and looked for you at Coney Island.

but you keep running away.

This time I came back.

Why?

I don't know.

I do.

For the same reason I took this job.

I knew you would come here.

But...

how could you know?

Well, everything happens to me in threes.

This is the third time we've met.

I know.

I shouldn't even be here.

We're strangers.

We were never strangers.

I thought you said you forgot your gloves.

I didn't wear gloves tonight, Fred.

Come on, Bess, they're waiting.

I'm not going.

- Look, I brought you here and I'm taking you home again. - I'm not going.

- What is the trouble? - No trouble at all. We're leaving.

You are leaving.

- Come on. Let's not have any trouble. - I'm sorry, miss. - It's all right.

But she came with me and she's leaving with me.

Would you like to dance?

I would love to.

I've only got one more show to do.

Then where would you like to go?

Wherever you go.

Is that you, Harry?

Yes, Mama. Good night.

Son, would you like to have a glas of milk?

Uh... Mom, this is Bess.

- Bess. - Bess, this is Mom.

I'm so glad to know you.

Isn't she wonderful, mother?

Yes, she is very pretty.

Thank you.

Oh, it's... it's a wonderful night tonight. Isn't it?

I never saw a more wonderful night.

Well, now that everything is so wonderful,

what are your two wonderful people up to?

Oh, I was gonna show her some of my magic.

At 2 o'clock in the morning?

It is?

Oh, we didn't mean to disturb you.

No, we promise not to make any noise, so you go back to bed, Mom.

- Isn't it a little late for the young lady to be out? - Oh, no, it's all right. Isn't it, Harry?

Y-Yes. You see, she has no school tomorrow.

- No school? - No. She stays at a girls' school.

And... And I'm locked out.

- Locked out? - Uh-huh.

Oh, child, that's nothing to worry about.

You can spend the night with me.

- Oh, no, I wouldn't want to put you through any trouble. - No trouble at all. We have lots of room.

- But... - No, Mother, I'll fix the place for her.

- She could take my room. - She'll do no such thing.

No, Harry. I think it's time we talk about...

On second thought I think it would be better if she did go back to school. They're probably worried about her.

- I... I can't go back now. - Yes, you can. Good night, Mama.

- Why didn't you tell her? - Oh, Bess, honey, I couldn't.

We got married so quick and all...

But I'll tell her first thing in the morning. Honest, I will.

It would be much better if you told her tonight.

It'll be better in the morning. We're leaving anyway.

Harry, I don't like this.

I wish we'd tell her now.

She would just keep us up all night talking about it.

We made it.

- I love you. - I love you.

Here's a nightgown for you, darling.

I think it will fit.

Uhuh.

Did you think you could fool your mother, Harry?

I just wanted to see how far you would go.

I like her, Harry.

Good night.

Coward.

Harry, what are you doing?

I'm working on a brandnew trick. Come here.

No!

What?

You said you wanted to be in the act.

- Yes, but not now. - Oh, come on, I need you.

- What do I have to do? - Get in the box.

- What does that do? - You'll see later.

- Oh, Harry, I'm not going to lay in there. - Now get into the box.

- If you say so. - Now put your feet through here.

- This is ridiculous. - Put your feet here.

- You wake me up in the middle of the night. - Now put your head through there. - Through there?

I don't like this at all. I'm scared.

- Watch your fingers. - What would people say if they could see me here now?

- We won't tell a soul. You're comfortable? - As comfortable as I could be.

- Good. - Harry, I'm scared though.

What are you doing down there, huh?

- Fixing this in. - Oh, don't do that. That's not fair. Don't.

Don't, Harry. I'm nervous. Where are you? What are you doing?

- I went to get the saw. - The saw? What are you gonna do with that?

- I'm gonna saw you in half. - Oh, no, Harry, no, you're not! I won't let you!

- Harry, let me out of here! Harry! - Sssh!

- Do you wanna wake mother? - Harry, get me out of here!

- It's not gonna hurt. Close your eyes. - How do you know that? You're not inside!

Oh, Harry! Harry, I'm scared! Harry, let me out of here!

Harry!

Harry, I'm sacred! Harry!

- Don't worry! - Aw! Harry! Harry!

It's a great effect, isn't it?

Yes, it's... it's great but will we

- have to do something like this every night? - Was it so awful?

No, but I expected something different on my wedding night.

? Bumm, bumm ?

? Bumm, bumm, bumm ?

? The bell in the bay ?

? On the day ?

? That my love sailed away ?

? And the gold wheeling high ?

? As farewell from the sky ?

? But the bell ?

? In the bay ?

? Said goodbye ?

I'll shoot them!

Calm down! Put your gun down!

That's the way they show their appreciation.

Appreciation? Baaa! Oh, you...

- Come on, honey, you're next. - Me? I have to go out there?

- They love magicians in West-Virginia. - Are you sure?

Oh, yeah, go on. You go around there.

Music, maestro, please.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Now, if you keep your eye to my charming assistant...

then I shall let go the goldfish, dissolved in thin air.

One, two...

Oh, the poor goldfish.

At least give us a chance.

Go learning!

For my next trick...

I will create an effect never permormed on any stage.

I will disappear from this spot

right before you eyes.

Well, hurry up and disappear!

I'll help him disappear.

Don't worry, folks, I'm right here.

They like you, son. They like you. Go get your wife to hear the applause.

Bess, listen to that. Listen to that applause. I've got them eating right out of my hand.

What's the matter, baby?

What's the matter?

They ruined our performance. I almost my leg on a crushed tomato, and you ask me what's the matter?

We are not in the showbusiness, we're targets in a shooting contest.

We won't always have to play before an audience like that.

- It has been like this in the last two years. - But it finally gets better.

Here's what's left from the goldfish. We haven't found the rest yet.

You have to hurry up because the night train to Wheeling is on time.

Thanks. Wheeling. We probably get shot there.

Harry, let's go back to New York.

We can't get bookings in New York.

We could take that job in the safe factory.

Yeah!

With your knowledge of locks and combinations I'm sure that they pay you well.

Yeah.

Will you try it, Harry?

No!

Why not?

I am a magician, not a locksmith.

You can't pull bread out of your hat.

Well, if you want bread you should've married a baker.

At least a baker makes something that people want.

Nobody seems to want your magic, Harry.

There's nothing new in card tricks.

Going through trapped doors or escape from cabinets.

- What does it all mean? - I don't know what it means.

I only know what it does to me.

Like tonight when I did that disappearing act.

Tough as they were, you should have seen their faces.

I gave them a thrill, something they take home and talk about.

So you thrill them for a minute, but tomorrow it will be forgotten.

Next time I'll give them a bigger thrill, something they won't forget so soon.

The audience is never satisfied.

They love you for the moment that you please them.

Darling, I love you forever. I'd like to make a home for us, something that last...

- if you just let me. - Magic is all I know.

- Oh, you could be anything you wanted to be. - How?

I never went to school.

I started working when I was 9 years old with a magician in a tent show.

If I quit now and take that job in that factory, I'll be there for the rest of my life.

Oh, Bess,

I didn't marry you to give you that kind of a life.

Oh, honey, darling, don't you understand?

I'm so tired riding milk-trains and living out of suitcases.

I'd be satisfied if we just once could spend two nights in the same place.

Hey, didn't you pack that staff yet? Come on, let's go! That train only stops for the milk.

We'll be right there.

Well, we got to hurry.

Unhook me, please.

Quick, Harry.

Harry? Oh.

We're gonna miss the train!

Oh, Mr. Brown.

When do you think I'll get a chance to work on the safes?

- What's the matter? Don't you like your job? - Oh, I like it well enough,

but you could train chimpanze for the work I'm doing.

Not a bad idea, son. Drop it in the suggestion box.

I guess you were working on the big safes a long time, haven't you?

- About 40 years. - Is that sol? - Yeah.

I was wondering, if someone accidentally got locked up in one of them,

could they get out by working the tumblers from the inside?

- Not in my safe. - They couldn't, huh? - No.

Let me try it sometime?

Certainly not. Are you crazy?

- No, I was just asking. - Well, go back and do your work and leave me alone.

- Sorry, I was just wondering. - Go on.

What kind of people they get to work around here nowadays?

Hi, Ma.

Hello, honey.

- How you're doing? - How are you? - Fine.

- How was work today? - Just great.

I opened 8,642 locks.

Oh, cheer up, Harry.

- They'll let you work on the big safes soon. - Oh, sure, in about 40 years.

Well, at least we're not dodging tomatoes and you get paid every Saturday night.

Thank you.

- Harry? - Hm?

You're two and a half dollars short.

- Am I? - Uhuh.

Uh, you didn't stop anyplace, did you?

As a matter of fact, I did.

I had a chance to pick up a bargain.

Oh, really? Where is it and what is it?

- Uh, they're good ones. - Oh, I'm sure.

Here, I'll prove it to you. Put them on.

Now make sure they're locked good.

- They're locked. - You're sure? - Uhuh. - Wouldn't think that I could get out of them, would you?

Now cover them with the towel.

That's right.

That makes 8,643 locks that I have opened today.

That's very nice, Harry.

I better finish washing.

Dinner is just about to be ready.

Just a minute.

We're not eating here.

I'm taking you out for dinner.

- Taking me out? Oh, where are we going? - Well, that's a surprise but...

- Oh, what do I wear? Oh, Mama, how is the dress? - It's all finished, except the belt.

Oh! Finished? Oh, thank you!

- The Astor? Can we afford it? - Nothing but the best for you, my love.

Thank you.

There is, uh, quite a few magicians here tonight, isn't there?

Magic's getting to be quite a hobby.

- It's actually a model of a very old... - Oh, what's going on up there?

But today we discovered that if we use a machine like this correctly, we can place an object in the hole.

We can pass the blade through the object

with absolutely no damage to either the cabbage

or the celery down below.

Watch the miracle of magic ready: One...

two, three...

Something seems to have gone wrong.

I tell you, I don't have another cabbage and I did want to do this tonight.

Ah, but I did bring a young lady with me. I wonder if you would might helping. Would you, please?

- You're not afraid, are you? - No.

Fine.

Just kneel down, please, and put your head there.

And just make sure you don't go anyplace for a few minutes. I'll lock you in. Right so.

Is your head-on good and tight?

Yeah.

Alright, ready again then.

At the count of three...

watch the blade.

Ready. One, two, three!

You see, Ladies and Gentlemen,

the object of this trick is to make it to look as vicious as possible...

but not doing any damage to the young lady.

Now, that didn't hurt, did it?

Where's the young lady?

That was very good. Thank you. And thank you, little lady.

She keeps her head very well.

Ladies and gentlemen,

for the finale of this evening's entertainment and, uh...

before we have our dinner,

we offer a challenge in escape routines that has never been tried before.

I will ask for volunteers.

Bring on the restraints.

- That's right. - Harry.

Right up.

- But they're just asking. - Come along.

Now let me see how many have we here. One, two, three, four...

Oh, come, gentlemen, this is for the grand prize. We need one more volunteer.

Now, fellas, these are regulated straitjackets

wich had bo loaned to us fot this occasion by a hospital.

Uh, no inmate has ever escaped from one of these.

Are you sure there isn't one more brave soul in this gathering?

Please.

Oh, go ahead, and embarrass yourself. Go on.

- Here. - Ah.

Would you take your coat off? Put it right over there. Would a couple of you gentlemen help us?

We have your little evening jacket right here.

That's right.

Let's strap it good and tight. Here. Ready?

Now, right on first, then the left, that's it. That's really good.

Strap him up good and tight there.

- I'll be back here. - All right. Fine.

Come along, let's line up there.

Hurry up, boys.

That's it. Line up there.

In the line. All clear.

Ah.

As you can see, Ladies and Gentlemen, one has to be a little crazy to put on one of these.

Now, Gentlemen, the stage is yours.

And good luck. Music, please.

Tremendous.

Magnificent, my boy. Magnificent.

And I guess there's no doubt who wins the prize.

There you are, my boy, and good luck to you.

You know, Mr. Houdini,

no one has ever escaped from a straitjacket before.

I've been a magician for over 40 years. I've...

been in quite a few places, did a quite of few things in my time, but...

there was always some explanation, some trick.

Tonight there was none.

There couldn't have been.

Yet, you got out.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Malue, but it was a trick.

- Have you done it before? - No, but it's still a trick.

We must all guard our secrets. I can't ask you how you did it.

But if you take a little advice from an old man:

Drop it. Give it up.

But why if I made such an impression?

Because it isn't a trick.

You've seen something like this before, haven't you?

Where? Who did it?

Well, it was many years ago in Berlin.

A man named Von Schweger.

There was nothing unusual about his act until the finish.

Then he was sealed inside a giant bottle.

Now, the bottle was not faked,

yet, he got out.

How could he get out of a sealed bottle?

The talk was that Von Schweger was able to dematerialize.

Of course, it was only talk.

Von Schweger... Von Schweger...

I've read all the books on the great magicians,

but I've never seen his name mentioned.

Just when he could've made a name for himself, he quit the profession.

Why?

No one knows for sure.

But I think he was frightened by what he was able to do.

I'd like to meet him.

Is he still alive?

Last I heard he was,

but he never sees anyone.

Oh, we seem to be about the last to leave.

- Good night, Mrs. Houdini. I twas nice to meet you. - Good night. Thank you.

Good night, sir.

Drop it. Drop it.

It will make you famous,

but it will kill you.

You're not happy, are you, Harry?

Why shouldn't I be?

Because I stopped you from doing what you really want to do.

I won't lie to you, Bess.

I'd rather do magic than test locks.

But I'm happy. Believe me, I am.

The audience does something to you, Harry.

Like tonight, when you got out of the straitjacket and everyone applauded,

you... you were like a different person.

Which "Me" do you like the most?

I like the both very much.

Hey! We forgot about the prize that you won.

- It's in my coat pocket. - I'll get it.

Here it is.

What is it?

- It's a boat ticket. - A boat ticket? - Uh-huh.

To Europe.

Europe?

Oh, Bess, that's where I've always wanted to go.

That's where I really could learn something.

Why, I might even meet Von Schweger.

Well, it's a round-trip passage for one.

We can trade it in for two one-ways, can't we?

Or we could cash it in for a down-payment on a house.

If we don't take this opportunity, we'll never get it again.

It's more important to you than anything, isn't it?

Tonight's Halloween.

Something strange always happens to me on Halloween night.

We can't pass it up.

It's your ticket, Harry, you won it.

I won't stop you if you wanna go.

Well, I won't go alone.

And I won't go with you.

You're just afraid because of what he said tonight.

I'm more than just afraid.

He's an old man. They're always afraid of new things.

We shouldn't be.

Maybe I shouldn't be, but I am.

Well, I can't live without you.

Cash it in.

Oh, Harry.

Harry, darling.

Time's up!

Here's your quarter. Get ready.

Are you sure you can get out?

I'll be out before they know I'm in.

Quick.

What are you doing over there?

- Now you've done it. - It'a all right.

- He told me to do it. He said he could get out. - But he can't get out.

Mr. Bown. Mr. Brown. Where is Mr. Brown?

Mr. Brown, there's a man locked up in the safe.

- Well, can't you open this? - No, the timelock is on.

It's up for 24 hours. It won't open till tomorrow.

- Who is in there? - Houdini. - Oh, I might've known this.

But we can't let him die in there.

- That'd give the company a bad name. - Yeah.

- We've got to think of something. - There's one thing, but it'll ruin the safe.

Well, ruin it. A man's life is at stake.

- Get clear! It's a short fuse. - Get back!

What you'd blow it up for?

If you'd given me a little more time, I'd gotten out.

You're fired!

I still don't understand what you where doing inside that safe.

I told you a hundred times I was having my lunch.

You did it deliberately.

You wanted to get fired.

Why would I do a crazy thing like that?

So you could go back to be a magician.

What's wrong with magicians?

That's what I was when you married me.

Well, if you love your magic more than you love me, good luck to both of you,

because I'm leaving!

Go talk to her, Harry. Don't let her leave.

Look at this soup. It's like water!

Where did she ever learn to cook anyway?

I made the soup!

You can stop packing! I'm the one that's leaving!

- Harry, where are you going? - Where they don't water the soup!

...being a time in captivity.

Oscar, the human sea serpent.

- Half man, half... - It's over there. - Thank you.

- Hey, just a minute, lady. - That is all right.

All right, all right, come in here!

Ladies and gentlemen, my latest invention:

The metamorphosis.

Music, please.

Now, please, examine the trunk and see that there's no means of escape.

Satisfied?

Now, will you pick it up and turn it around and show the audience that it's just an ordinary trunk.

Thank you.

Would you fasten these to my wrist, please?

A bag.

Are they secure?

Now, tie it.

Thank you.

I'm sorry, you won't be able to go this trip. No.

Lock.

Now, tie it with the rope.

Good sailor knots.

Tight?

Ah! You hold the key.

Women.

Ladies and gentlemen, the metamorphosis.

One,

two,

tree,

four...

five, six, seven...

All right.

Gentlemen, would you please untie the ropes that you yourself tied?

Now, if you unlock the trunk, make sure there's no change and nothing had been touched.

And the bag.

Untie it, please.

You fake!

Fake!

Did I hear someone yell "Fake"?

I'm Dooley of the London Examiner!

I say all you yank magicians are fakes!

And that's a trick-trunk!

I'd like you'd get out of something real.

I resent your remarks.

I'll offer � 100 to anyone

who can lock me up in anything I can not escape from!

Just a minute! Just a minute!

Mr. Houdini! Mr. Houdini!

Let the gentleman speak!

Mr. Houdini, I challenge you to escape from one of our London jails.

I'd like nothing better than to accept your challenge, Mr. Dooley,

but I'm afraid the authorities will not permit it.

I see Inspector Marlick from Scotland Yard is in the audience.

What do you say now, yank?

My offer still stands.

Let's teach the yank a lesson, Inspector.

All that fake is bluff!

- Lock him up! - Sure he can't fool Scotland Yard. - Oh, no, no, it's hardly done.

Please! Please!

I'll admit that Scotland Yard has the finest police panes in the world,

but these old sardine cans you call jails

are no challenge for the great Houdini.

Did you hear that, Inspector? You can't let him get away with it!

Inspector, don't let him get away with that!

You tell him!

I believe we can arrange to accomodate Mr. Houdini.

Thank you very much, Inspector,

but it'll have to be in the morning before I have a matinee tomorrow.

Very good.

- There's one condition however. - Yes, sir.

Unless you can escape

you'll remain locked up for 24 hours.

Haha! Bravo!

I have never missed a performances.

Come and see me here tomorrow afternoon.

Uh, that goes to you, too, Mr. Dooley.

- You won't be here! - I'll be here! Good night, all!

Oh, you really got that audience steamed up tonight.

That means a packed house tomorrow.

Harry?

I'll have to see the manager about better billing, increase the salary...

- Harry. - What?

What happens if you can't get out tomorrow?

I could open that locks with a button hook.

I hope so.

Yeah?

- Went great, didn't it, yank? - You should've been an actor.

I wasn't so bad, was I?

Say, how big is the chance that we'll get into the papers?

Look, you just get out of that jail, Mr. Houdini, and I'll guarantee that you make the front page.

I'll get out.

You gonna need a picture.

- Which one? - Uh, I like this one.

And play it up big.

Ah, now I'd trouble you for that � 2.

Well, I'll give it to you tomorrow, right after the matinee.

Look, yank, old boy,

my end of the bargain was to get you in jail.

You promised me � 2.

I want it now because tomorrow you might not be here to pay me.

Harry.

Thank you.

Oh, and by the way, I forgot to tell you

that in our jails the cells are built different than in the States.

The locks aren't in the doors

Good luck, yank.

I assure, Inspector, my jail is escape-proofed.

Mr. Houdini seems to think otherwise.

We shall see. We shall see.

As you can see, Inspector,

you can look too, Mr. Houdini,

this is no ordinary cell block.

The lock can only be opened from the outside.

And you can't reach it from inside the cell.

Do you still want to try?

Keys won't help you, Mr. Houdini, but we'll make sure.

I'll take the hat

and the coat.

Let's have the belt.

Open your mouth.

The pin, and the tie.

Now let's have the shoes, too.

I have heard about these trick-heels.

Alright, then, left your pockets out.

Turn around.

And just so you'll have something to play with,

here's some nice pretty bracelets for ya.

Now, Mr. Houdini,

your things will be right outside the door.

In case you make it..

Don't worry, we'll see you in 24 hours.

We won't let you starve.

Tea is twelve to four, and dinner at six.

Good luck, yank.

- Warden. - Yes, what is it?

Maybe you can use them on someone else.

We'll see who'll the last laugh, Mr. Houdini!

No getting there.

I've tried.

You can't do it.

- Ladies and gentlemen... - We want Houdini! Come on! We want Houdini!

We want Houdini! We want Houdini!

We want Houdini! We want Houdini! We want Houdini!

Please! Please, ladies and gentlemen.

Due to circumstances beyond our control

Mr. Houdini has been unavoidably detained.

- We know! He's in our jail! - Right you are!

Please! Please, I...

I know how you feel.

While Mr. Houdini can not appear before you in person,

he will not disappoint you.

Well, where is he? Where is he?

Please! Please.

He is sending his alter ego

from the spiritual world to take his place, and...

we will need complete silence

if Mr. Houdini's alter ego

is to appear.

It's impossible!

Just a minute! Just a minute!

Mr. Houdini,

maybe you got out of our jail,

but I've got something you can't get out from.

Wait!

Put out your hands.

Put out your hands!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

nobody can get out of these cuffs!

I've made them myself and there ain't no key!

The only way to get them off is saw them off!

Anybody who wants to go out for a bit of fish and chips shall have plenty of time!

Are you willing to stay there for the night?

I say he is.

- Where's me handcuffs? - Oh, I'm sorry.

Mr. Houdini,

let me be the first to congratulate you.

It seems that our escape-proofed jail has a bit of a hole in it.

Mr. Houdini, we've had our operator checked every Von Schweger in the Berlin telephone book,

but none of them seem to be the one you're looking for.

Thank you very much.

All these letters that I sent to him come back the same way.

Address unknown, does not live at this address...

Why don't you forget it, Harry?

- I... - Hm?

I bet you've forgotten what day this is.

But I haven't.

It's my birthday.

Oh, I thought, sure you would forget.

I'd like to.

- Say, have you noticed all the grey hairs? - Would you like a surprise?

Not particularly.

Well, you're going to get one, wether you like it or not.

Thank you.

My dance, I believe?

That's my girl!

Ladies and gentlemen,

may I have your attention, please?

As you know, the gentleman in the middle of the floor is Houdini, the great magician.

Maybe if we try hard enough we can get him to do one of his famous tricks for us.

Shall we try?

Thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen.

I hadn't planned a performance tonight,

but maybe I have something that will amuse you.

So, if you get me a couple of brooms,

I'll get my wife and...

we will see what we can do.

Thank you.

And now, if you'd bring the music platform, please?

I'll need the aid of a few gentlemen from the audience.

Would you, sir?

And the young officer.

Would you take this broom and hold it at the edge of the platform?

Would you do the same thing?

Now hold them both very securely.

Bess.

- Would you put your arms on the brooms? - Like this - Yes.

I've to get my cape out of the way.

Make yourself as comfortable as possible.

There.

You look very lovely tonight.

- It's a shame to put you to sleep. - I don't mind.

- You're ready? - Yes.

All right. Concentrate on my hand.

Concentrate.

You're getting sleepy.

You're getting sleepy.

- Happy Birthday. - Sleep! Sleep.

Sleep.

You can take that broom away now.

Relax your arm. Relax. Relax.

Rest your head.

Sleep. Sleep.

Now, if you'd help me lift her?

Up. Up, up, up!

There.

You can let go now.

And I let go.

And would you let go?

Would you pass that broom underneath, please?

And over.

I don't recommend this as an after-dinner-trick.

- Are you Herr Houdini? - Yes.

You will appear before the tribunal tomorrow at 10 to answer these charges.

What charges?

It seems I've been labeled a fraud by the Kaiser's court.

I might have to go to jail.

You'll get me down before you go, will you?

Go back to sleep.

Oh, would you help me to lower her, please?

Gently.

Easy.

That's it.

There.

When I snap my fingers you will awaken.

When any magician

transgresses the bounds of reason

and humbugs the people

into not only thinking but believing that he is supernatural,

then this man becomes a menace to society.

and must be restrained from further practice of such deception.

Will the defendant rise?

How do you answer these charges?

I have never claimed to be supernatural.

All my escapes have been effected by purely physical means.

I see only one way to resolve this point.

If both parties will agree

we will put it to a test right in this court.

I will submit to any test Your Honor chooses.

The prosecution agrees to a test.

Very well.

The courtroom will recess for 30 minutes.

The combination of this safe is known only to myself

and my bailiff.

Now, if Mr. Houdini can open the safe

right in this courtroom,

I will dismiss the charges against him.

Uh, just a moment.

Your Honor, I will do better than that.

You can lock me inside the safe, and I'll get out.

Mr. Houdini, I only ask you to open it.

I'll get out.

- Remember the last safe you got into. - I knew you'd think of that.

Lock it up!

Come on, lock it up. What are you waiting for?

Aren't you worried?

It's pretty hot in there.

Wonderful! Wonderful, Mr. Houdini! Marvelous!

Yes, very good.

Mr. Houdini, congratulations.

But Harry never saw that safe before. How did he ever do it? What is the trick?

The trick, Mama, was to get the judge to lock him in the safe.

Safes were built to keep people from breaking in, not out.

Hello?

Anybody here?

Hello?

Is anyone here?

Hello?

Hello?

You are too late.

Herr Von Schweger died two days ago.

I'm sorry to hear that.

I was in Switzerland when I got his letter.

I came as quickly as I could.

He was very anxious to talk to you.

I've been trying to see him ever since I came to Europe.

I know.

He made me send your letters back.

So many magicians over the years have tried to see him.

You are the first to whom he gave an appointment.

What made him decide to see me?

Herr Von Schweger had no patience with magicians who could do only tricks.

He made me follow your European tour very closely.

When he was convinced that you are worthy,

he finally agreed that he would talk to you.

Do you know what he wanted to tell me?

He had nothing to tell you.

He wanted to ask you if you knew the secret of how to dematerialize.

Me?

But I heard that he had already done it.

It happened before I became his assistant.

I asked him,

but he would neither admit it nor deny it.

At one thing I'm sure of:

He was never able to repeat it.

I know

because I helped him spend the rest of his life trying.

He intended to give you this.

Well...

Shall we go?

Go?

Go where?

Otto is my name.

Now I am working for you.

- But I'll be leaving for America before long. - So? You will need me.

Looks like Von Schweger left me more than just a man in a bottle.

Editor of The New York Observer, New York City

Returning from his European Tour, Houdini requests the pleasure of your company

at his home on Tuesday, September 3rd, at 2 p.m.

I can't understand it.

It's 15:30, and they were invited for 14:00.

Are you sure you send out the invitations, Bess?

I delivered the invitations myself to every newspaper in town.

Then why haven't a reporter showen up?

Maybe they do not know who you are, Harry.

Everybody knows who I am, Mama.

Look at those.

But that was in Europe, Harry. Americans are different. You have to show them.

Mama is right.

No one met us on the boat.

Otto,

if the press won't come to me, I shall go to the press.

Get my straitjacket.

Go away!

Remarkable fellow.

I'm going to interview him today.

Do you remember when he worked for us?

You fired him!

- I fired him? - Shut up!

I know it's not of my business, but does he really like this sort of thing?

Certainly. That's why he's going to jump into the Detroit River tomorrow.

- Do you think you'll need any more, sir? - No, thank you, that will be enough.

Thank you, sir.

Oh! Get out of that tub!

I've got to get used to it.

Otto, get him out of there!

What are you trying to do? Do you wanna catch pneumonia?

Here, let me get that wet swimsuit you wear.

I've gotta... I've gotta practice.

You're practicing for nothing.

The Detroit River is completely frozen.

No one will expect you to jump.

But the theater is advertising it for weeks. I can't back out now!

You have to call it off!

It's below zero outside.

That ice will be a foot thick.

They'll cut a hole in the ice.

Oh! Well, that's crazy.

If you jump, I'm jumping with you!

If I had you with me under that ice, I bet we could set a new record.

- Do you know what day it is tomorrow? - Yes, Thursday.

It's Halloween. That's not your day.

To me it's just another Thursday.

The chain broke.

Stand back!

- His wife's coming through, please. - Excuse me.

Otto, I know he's in trouble.

He should be out by now!

He's never been under that long before!

Grab the hooks.

Let the rope down.

Quickly!

Drob those hooks in.

It's empty! He's not in there!

Take her to the hotel.

Drob those hooks in!

He may be able to see them.

Lower! Lower!

Lower! Lower!

- Nobody could come out of there alive. - I guess we got a headline. - Yeah.

Get your late Extra!

Extra paper!

Extra! Extra!

Houdini lost in Detroit River!

Extra paper! Get your late Extra!

Houdini disapperaed in Detroit River!

Extra paper!

Harry!

Darling!

Harry!

Oh, Harry!

Darling, you are alive!

Yes, Bess.

I'm all right, Bess.

Don't cry. No. I'm all right.

I didn't think about the river's current.

It carried me downstream.

I thought I'd never find the opening.

Then I heard my mother's voice calling.

I swam towards it's sound and...

found the opening in the ice.

Oh, you're safe. Thank god, you're safe.

Do not cry, Bess. I'll never leave you.

I'll never leave you.

Hello?

Yes, he is. Long distant. Just a moment.

Hello?

Yes, this is Harry Houdini.

What time did she die?

Yes, we'll take the first train home.

Mother died the time I heard her calling.

Oh, my darling. My poor, poor darling.

Just a minute, please.

Pardon me.

Hmm. Good subject.

You know, Houdini, don't you, Simms?

I've interviewed him.

Then what's happened to him?

Why should a man at the height of his career go off the site for 2 whole years?

Well, when his mother died, he canceled his tour and went into seclusion.

He didn't see anybody, not even me.

A man like that just couldn't be idle. He must be up to something.

Find out what it is.

Mr. Houdini.

- Why, it's Mr. Simms from the Observer. - That's right.

- I wanna speak to you for a moment. - I'm sorry, but we're just leaving for an appointment.

- If you could just answer a few questions? - Some other time, we're late.

Look, after all you owe me something.

I was the only reporter who covered your straitjacket escape. Remember?

- Get in. - Thank you.

I'm doing a feature story on you in our sunday supplement.

I wanna bring the article up to date.

The past two years are blank.

They've been a blank to me, too, Mr. Simms.

How do you mean that?

Do you believe in the hereafter?

I guess so.

Almost everyone believe there's something beyond this life.

I've been trying to make contact.

You mean to try to communicate with someone who's dead?

Exactly that.

With my mother.

That's impossible.

Why?

Because it's never been done?

You just said you believe in something beyond this life.

If there is, there must be some way to reach it.

There is, by dying.

That closes the door.

I wanna open it.

Is that what you've been doing for 2 years?

Yes, with no success.

Tonight we're going to try again.

Would you like to come along?

Me?

- Well, uh, my editor... - You're not afraid, Mr. Simms?

Certainly not. I...

Come in, spirits.

Come in, spirits.

Yes, spirit?

Hey. Calm down.

Was there a materialization?

It sure was something.

You didn't see it?

When I go into a trance I see or hear nothing.

I must rely on those present if the s�ance was a success or not.

Well, I heard music.

Sounded like a...

Hungarian waltz.

And there was a woman's image in the garden.

Do these things have any significance?

That waltz was my mother's favorite song.

The image in the garden did have a resemblance to mother.

Then we're indeed fortunate, Mr. Houdini.

Most first s�ances produce nothing.

It usually takes several

before the recepted vibration

is established to contact the other side.

As a newspaper reporter, Mr. Simms,

I'd be pleased to know your impression.

Well, in my drinking days I could explain it.

You saw what the others saw.

Yeah, but it had no significance for me.

It wasn't meant to.

But it did mean something to the Houdinis.

I'm quite exhausted.

If you will excuse me.

Don't go yet.

The spell is broken.

We can do no more this evening.

Alright, Otto, you can let him go.

Well, what do you know.

There should be a microphone up...

Now, where is the music?

Well, Otto, it looks like we've drawn another blank.

You mean all mediums are fakes?

No, I'm sure there are those that are sincere and believe in what they are doing.

I just haven't found them.

Shall we go, dear?

Take that thing off!

HOUDINI EXPOSES FRAUDULENT MEDIUMS

HOUDINI OFFERS $ 25,000 FOR PROOF OF CONTACT WITH SPIRIT WORLD

HOUDINI RETURNS TO MAGIC

Oh, Mrs. Houdini!

- Yes? - Mr. Houdini is not in the theater.

Well, where is he?

You'll find him over at Sherman's Ironwoods on 14th Street.

Oh, thank you.

Is this why you kept me in the country all week, huh?

So you and Otto could get this, uh, thing wigged.

You don't have to get so upset. We just wanted to see if it were workable.

Don't lie to me, Harry.

I've been to the theater. It's postered all over the front.

I've done water escapes before. This is nothing different.

Nothing different?

It's an exact copy of Von Schweger's man in the bottle.

It's what killed him. Don't you understand, Harry? It's what killed him.

I haven't played to an audience in 2 years.

I've got to give them something new!

But why it will have to be this?

It'll be the most spectacular thing I've ever done.

And the most dangerous.

Bess, people aren't gonna stand in line and watch me pull rabbits out of a hat.

Why...

Why must every act you do be flirting with death?

Because it's the only act that'll hold an audience spellbound.

People fall asleep at the opera,

but they stay wide awake at the bullfights

because there's one man defying death down in that arena.

You take this out of my act and I'm nothing!

You keep it in and we're both nothing!

Otto, have this send down to the theater. We'll test it for tomorrow's performance.

What are you standing there for?

What are you doing here?

I didn't want you to be without an audience.

- Cut it out! - Why?

It's what you lived for, isn't it?

What do you want me to do?

The house is sold out for tomorrow night.

Wherever you go the house will be sold out.

You make it sound like something terrible.

It is.

People paying a dollar to see a man in love with death.

That's crazy talk!

I wish it was another woman that took you from me, Harry! That I could fight!

This I can't.

Bess, wait!

- Bess, you've got to listen to me! - If I listen, I'll get angry.

- What are you trying to do to me? - I'm trying not to lose you.

- How? By walking out on me? - Yes! Maybe without me you won't go on.

Without you I wouldn't wanna go on.

- Alright, Bess, I won't do it. - Oh, Harry.

- I'll cut it out of the act. - Okay.

- It still hurts you there, doesn't it? - It's alright.

You should've taken care of that a long time ago.

It's nothing. It comes and goes.

I think it's your appendix.

Since when have you been practicing medicine, Otto?

Ah, you don't have to be a doctor to know that something's wrong.

- All right. - I'll have it looked as soon as we finish the tour.

20, 21, 22.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

as you read in the newspapers this morning

Houdini has been challenged

to liberate himself from a sealed straightjacket.

That's it.

Will the gentleman who has the straightjacket please walk up on the stage?

Thank you.

Come forward, gentlemen.

Gentlemen,

have you ever met Houdini or myself before?

No, never.

I understand that you made this conception yourself.

- Yes, in our shop. We have every confidence in it. - And we don't think he can get out of it.

Oh!

So, if you do not think he can get out of it, and you made it yourself,

perhaps you'd better put him into it.

Well, here goes the coat again.

Put your arms in here.

Thank you.

Now, if you'd turn around, please.

Turn around again.

Now you put your wrists right in... like that. That's right.

Looks as if you got me pretty well locked up.

- It'll hold you all right. - My Cape, please!

- Would you hold this in front of me? - Oh, yes, surely.

Ah,

- it's a little too high. - Oh, sorry. - Thank you.

- How long did it take you to make this? - Uh, about a month. - Uh-huh.

- Did you use good steel? - Oh, yes, the very best.

- Well, some steels are better than others, you know. - Oh, yes, that's true. - Excuse me.

I think you got a bad piece, but better luck next time.

You're really a wonderful audience.

And I do wanna thank you for this heart warming welcome you've given me

on my return to the stage.

I do hope I pleased you

and that you'll be coming back

to see me again and again.

And each time you do come back

I promise you bigger and better thrills.

Good night and thank you very much.

What about the Torture Cell?

Why don't you do what you promised?

Why don't you do that trick you promised us?

The Torture Cell!

You are exhausted. Come.

We want to see the Torture Cell!

They are never satisfied. Ignore them.

- I can't. - Ha! Close your ears.

You have given them enough.

What about the Torture Cell?

Houdini, what are you going to do? It's like a madhouse out there.

They demand another trick.

- Tell them Houdini is sick. Come on. - Get the Torture Cell ready.

Harry, you can't! Remember your promise!

More! More! More!

More! More!

The Torture Cell!

More!

Now, will the two gentlemen who helped us before care to assist us again?

Come up on the stage.

Gentlemen, I have one lock for you, and one for you.

You come over to this side, sir.

You there.

Lock him up securely.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Houdini is now prepared to enter the Pagoda Torture Cell.

This particular form of escape

has never been attempted by anyone, anywhere!

For your information,

this cell contains 2 tons of water.

Come up, gentlemen, and get ready to close the locks.

Fix the locks as soon as Houdini has been brought into the water.

Are you ready, Houdini?

Go!

First the lid.

5 seconds!

10 seconds!

15 seconds!

20 seconds!

25 seconds!

Half a minute!

Out of the way!

It's a desaster!

Darling.

Harry.

- Harry, it's Bess. - Bess? - Yes.

I'll come back, Bess.

If there's any way,

I'll come back.

I'll come back.

Valentino (1977)

Stars may come and stars may go

Up there in that starry space

But when one falls, God always calls

A star to take its place

There's a new star in heaven tonight

That will never fade from our sight

There's a new star at home

In that far starry dome

Shining down on his loved ones tonight

There's a voice singing, "Lead, kindly light"

With a smile that has made the world bright

Valentino, goodbye

But way up in the sky

There's a new star in heaven tonight

There's a voice singing, "Lead, kindly light"

With a smile that has made the world bright

Valentino, goodbye

But way up in the sky

There's a new star in heaven

Tonight

We want Rudy! We want Rudy...!

Personally, fellas, I'm tickled pink by this turnout.

They're squeezing out of the subways like pomade out of a tube.

Sure, why not? It's free, ain't it? But how long is it gonna last?

He oughta taken better care of himself.

A lousy appendix!

He should've layed off the booze, too.

The moment he goes into the ground, our grosses go with him.

Right, so before they take him out of here,

we gotta re-release his movies into every theatre in the country.

That's why I got the lab working night and day, grinding out reprints of The Sheik.

Which labs?

Better not be Pathe, Jesse - I got Son of the Sheik running through there.

Listen, we've all got to get together on this. Cash in on this publicity, but quick.

All right, so what's the angle?

We're getting outta here!

We want Rudy! We want Rudy!

Mr McBride!

Mr McBride!

Hold this, sir.

Sorry to bother you, Mr McBride.

There's a guy here, says he has to see you, sir.

Say sweetie, you look kinda cute all alone with your posy.

Make a nice picture.

- How about a big smile? - Leave me alone.

Hey, don't I know... I know who you are!

Hey, but I'll keep it under my hat.

You wouldn't want those vultures to get their hooks into you.

How about it, Bianca, huh? A little exclusive about you and Rudy?

Exclusive? It was splashed across every newspaper in the country.

Yeah, that was over ten years ago. Then it didn't matter.

He was just an immigrant bumming around New York, nothing but a gigolo.

He was not a gigolo. He was a professional dancer.

Pretty risky, playing around with someone like you,

somebody married to a big noise in the rackets.

It was perfectly innocent.

We were just two lonely foreigners

finding a little companionship on the dance floor.

Oh, yeah? I heard all about the private lessons.

Hey, that's great. Now take a big sniff of the pansies.

They're violets!

Too bad. But from what I hear, pansies would've been more appropriate.

Ma che bravo!

Bianca, forgive me.

- I forgot the time. - Very fortunate for me.

That was so exciting to watch.

Rudy, is this gentleman who I think he is?

Oh, yes. Sorry. This is Vaslav Nijinsky.

Signor Nijinsky, this is my very dear friend Bianca de Saulles.

Enchante.

If you could've just seen him tripping the light fantastic with that ballet dancer,

you'd have gone bananas.

Talk about Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.

'Bianca was dancing with the fairy?'

No, she didn't dance with the fairy. I'm talking about Valentino.

'Why, did they fuck?'

They looked as though they were crazy about one another.

'Valentino and the fairy?'

No, not Valentino and the fairy. Valentino and your wife.

'For Christ, do you think they go to bed together?'

No, I don't think they do. I think the hottest they ever get's holding hands

while he gives her private lessons on my dancefloor.

They don't call him Saint Rudolfo for nothing.

- 'All right, listen, I'll be down there later.' - Yeah, I'll see you later.

- Hey... - Mmh?

- 'You keep it warm for me, toots.' - Yeah.

Yeah, I'm keeping it warm.

Good afternoon, Miss Billie.

OK, fellas.

Straighten up, you look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

- What happened to you? - You sent me for a haircut, Miss Billie.

Not to Alcatraz, I didn't.

- Biting your nails again, Frederico? - Sorry, Miss Billie.

Keep that up, and I'll put you in a straightjacket,

- Ah, snow in mid-summer. - I'm getting it treated, Miss Billie.

Poached or sunny side up?

Who for Christ's sake are you?

I'm Jimmy Grimaldi, the replacement from the agency, Miss Billie.

Oh, you are, are you? Well, you'd better get some polish on your shoes, Jimmy,

otherwise you'll end up shining other people's - just like your predecessor.

I'll try a new cream, Miss Billie.

Ain't they never heard of spit where you people come from?

The only one to cut any ice out of the whole bunch of you

is Saint Rudolpho here.

Even though he does act as though he owned the joint.

But I was giving a private lesson, Miss Billie.

You give too many private lessons.

Lay off the de Saulles dame.

Circulate more, baby.

Give some of the older broads a whirl.

They tip better.

And while we're at it, don't go welshing on the tips, Jimmy.

It's fifty-fifty, and anybody who forgets that is fired.

And for Christ's sake smile!

I've seen better line-ups in the police gazette.

You dance divinely.

Only with you. With everyone else I have two left feet.

I think you are too kind.

I could dance all night with you.

In your arms I can forget for a moment that I am but a slave -

everyone's to command by the lift of an eyebrow.

Oh, I can't bear to share you with anyone.

Come to me tonight.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure...

...if the health of my poor widowed mother would permit it.

You dear, sweet boy.

A bientet, ma belle madonna de la cafe' triste.

Would Madam honour me with the next dance?

Hmm!

Rudy, I've been thinking about what you said.

If I leave him, he'll kill me.

He would never dare to touch the wife of Rudolpho Valentino.

I have considered it- you must divorce him.

Oh, Rudy, if only I could.

I know he's cheating on me with every chorine in town,

but anyone crazy enough to testify against him

is going to end up as a hole in the East River.

I will testify. Valentino is not afraid.

That's wonderful of you, Rudy, but how would you get the dirt on him?

That won't be difficult. I...

No more tea time hops with dagos for you, baby. Blow, pretty boy.

- The music is not quite over, Signore. - It is for you, sweetheart.

Now you go straighten up your lipstick before you're one gimp guinea.

- Jack... - Shut up, goddamnit!

Waltzing with wops is one thing, but he's a pansy.

Sir! I'm an artist, a professional dancer.

You know, I say any guy who dances with another guy is a powder puff.

- You got that, Wop? - I didn't tell him.

Ah, Billie! Someone left the stable door open.

Then quit horsing around with the customers.

You're fired. Get off the floor.

You know, there ought to be a law

stopping you lounge lizards from sneaking into this country.

Here, get yourself a bowl of spaghetti.

Let's go. Let's get out of here.

Hey, waiter! Show me to the best table.

I have just become a customer.

Watch the birdie!

I just waited an watched.

I have known about them for some time now, Bianca, dear,

but I kept it from you for fear of hurting you.

We are all creatures of habit.

Soon you'll be free of him.

Oh, thank you.

- How do you like it? Al dente? - Oh, Rudy, any way you like.

Oh, it's such a relief.

If you only knew what I've been through.

He frightens me.

Right after the divorce we must go away - somewhere I'll be safe.

In California, on my farm.

- There you'll be safe. - That farm's a dream.

Already in one year I've saved $800, and that is no dream.

Soon we'll have one just like that.

And there's my diploma of agriculture to prove it.

How about your mama's steamship ticket? You're saving up for that, too, remember?

It won't be expensive. I owe it to her.

When father died,

she worked very hard to bring up the family and send me here.

Wait till you meet her.

We don't have to wait.

I could sell me jewellery tomorrow for plenty.

But that belongs to you and Joey. I wouldn't dream of it.

And you won't mind taking him along?

Every farmer needs a family.

I'll have a head start. Be patient.

- We'll soon have enough to get married. - We've got the money!

Now what's stopping us?

Rudy, we can't live here.

It would not be honourable for me to accept money from you.

But you take money from other women. What's the difference?

The difference is, I love you.

They buy my flattery and my time,

but my love is not for sale.

No, Eddie, no!

- Mama... - Oh, my God!

Joey!Joey!

Quickly, Bianca! Get out!

- Go for the front door! Block him! - I got him!

- That's enough, you bastard. - Shut up, lady!

Now you're gonna get what's coming to you.

Keep that dame quiet!

- Rudy! - Put him out, Rocky!

You're not taking him from me!

You beat the murder rap on the grounds you acted on maternal instinct, huh?

He wanted to take my baby away from me.

Yeah, er... I guess you did mean your son.

Hey, you believe that story Valentino died of ulcers or appendix or something -

a healthy guy like that, only 31 years old?

Had everything anybody could ever want.

All the women in the world at his feet.

What did he have to worry about to get ulcers?

You think maybe your husband's old pals rubbed him out?

You know, a slug of arsenic, a bullet in the gut?

You gotta admit they ran him out of New York, chased him to Hollywood.

Some skeletons should be allowed to rest in their closets.

- You're June Mathis, aren't you? - No.

You... wait a minute!

Hey, June.

Cummings, remember? Johnny.

Hello, Johnny.

Hey, some shock, huh? Whew!

Everyone's jumping on the bandwagon.

Mussolini even sent a guard of honour. He hated Rudy's movies.

Say, there's a story flying around that he actually died in your arms.

- Is that true? - No!

But if you've got the story, why do you want the truth?

Oh, give me a break, June. All I need is one little quote.

Coming from you, it'll mean something.

After all, you did launch the guy.

You make him sound like a battleship.

Not that he didn't always have some kind of a fight on his hands.

What would you call him - in a word?

Huh! In a word.

To me he was...

...a dancer.

That's right, he was a gigolo.

Listen, by the time he hit Hollywood,

he'd climbed out of the ballroom. He was in cabaret.

He was a partner to an exhibition dancer on the skids.

He carried that act in more ways than one.

Funny how he was dependent on some dame all...

...all his life.

Is that where you discovered him, in a cabaret?

I just happened to be at Baron Long's on the night of his...

...farewell performance.

Ach, du lieber Himmel, so 'ne ScheiBe!

Now, look! You got two more shows yet.

- How about easing up on that, huh? - Look!

I've been in this business twenty years, I know my limit.

Sister, you are the limit.

- Can I have a word with you, Valenti? - Valentino.

Hey! Anything... Hey, anything you gotta say to him,

you can say to me. It's my act, not his.

OK, then you listen to me.

Now, I've got a bunch of this movie crowd coming in for the next show,

- and they're a pretty bad bunch. - What'd you expect?

- Los Angeles is still a cow town. - Right.

Then don't try slipping these jokers the bull.

You're not satisfied with our act, I take it, Mr Long?

- Baron Long, if you don't mind. - Ah, excuse me.

Oh, come on, she's so far over the hill, she's below sea level.

I know this isn't the Cocoanut Grove... but I expect something for my money!

I fell for your charm.

Without these movie slobs, I'm just another beer joint.

So, you better get Miss Tain here to tighten up her two-step,

or you'll both be practising on the sidewalk. Get the drift?

See you out there in twenty minutes.

Sober.

Wiedersehen.

Charming individual.

You'll forgive me, Miss Tain,

but perhaps he has a point.

- If you'd awakened in time for rehearsal... - Aw, stow the eager beaver stuff!

Anytime you want to...

That two-bit musical I found you in in Omaha,

anytime you want to catch up to it OK, or New York,

maybe you want to walk back into that de Saulles mess?

A little hot for you still, huh?

No!

You're lucky to be touring the boonies after what you did, killing a man.

If you're keeping those lapels polished for a comeback, forget it.

They have a long memory in New York.

They seem to have forgotten you... easily enough.

Mr Kid Gloves.

Is that what all those ladies paid you for?

A real lady never pays for anything, Miss Tain.

Is that right?

Well, God help you, junior.

If you ever have anything worth taking,

some bright bitch is gonna give you the ride of your life.

Hey, I'm sorry.

It... it wouldn't have worked outwith you and that de Saulles dame anyway.

Got a pin?

Pull the other one.

Hey, girls. A big train in a small tunnel.

Just like last night. Ooh...

Die groBe Welt. The star of stars.

Baron Long... time no see.

You're looking great, Bear-on.

And your brother, huh?

Welcome to your favourite... your favourite place.

- I bearly saw it. - Your new table, Fatty.

- Mr Fatty! - Mr Fatty.

Hey, put it there, Baron.

Oh, Baron, I didn't know you could dance.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...

Hey! What have we got here?

Look at the lovely Easter bonnet.

I guess I'm the life of the party.

Hey! Pooey!

Hey, Fatty!

Pooey!

Oh, honey...

What'll it be, Fatty?

Mr Fatty?

You learn fast, you Bavarian bum.

Those big pots of beer for everybody.

I want a Ramos Fizz. They make 'em real creamy here, OK?

I guess I said beer though, didn't I?

Oh... What did I say, huh?

What did I say?

Beer, Meanie.

Mr Meanie!

OW!

Hey! What have we got here, huh?

A floor show or a cattle drive?

Breathe deeply, ignore them.

Hey, if you're out of booze, just have this bimbo sweat in a glass.

You're a professional - obscure them with your chin.

Somebody's not laughing.

Hey, Sister!

You dance like my ass chews gum!

Forty-six skidoo!

And that means both of you.

Hey, do me a favour, huh? Get off!

Madam, permit me to complete your dance card.

El Chocolo.

I'm sorry.

- Valenti... - Don't tell me. I know.

You're fired.

O sole mio

Sta 'nfronte a me!

Sta 'nfronte...

Che bella cosa...

Cor, Fatty sure is going to be mad at me.

You are much better off without that elephante.

- Ramos Fizz? - Yeah.

- Is it nice? - Yeah.

- Nice and creamy. - Yeah, I like them really creamy.

That's why Fatty don't like me ordering 'em, on account he has to lose weight.

Then he'd have nothing

To chuck around...

Sorry about this old mess here.

My maid ain't in tonight.

- You mean you live here all alone? - Yeah.

I'm getting a bigger spot, too. Soon as I get a raise.

Two more pictures and my contract's up for renewal.

- Pictures? - Yeah.

I guess you're not exactly a charmed member of my fan club, huh?

I'm sorry. I don't go to many movies.

But I'm sure I've seen you somewhere before.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Well, don't worry about it.

There's plenty that have.

You ain't even seen the poster for my new movie?

They were all over town.

Well, I've just arrived from Omaha.

Yeah? Well, say...

You ought to try pictures yourself if you're staying for a while.

You got a lot of style.

I mean that as a strictly professional compliment.

I haven't had much acting experience, I'm afraid.

Acting, hmm?

No, all you need in movies is to look sincere.

Let me tell you, brother.

Looking sincere in this town is a lot of hard work.

There must be more to acting than that.

No, silly. Nobody even hears a word you're saying.

So, lots of times when I'm supposed to be saying my lines,

I just mouth a lot of cuss words to try and break up the kids on the crew.

Maybe you can teach me a few cuss words.

Sure.

I do feel kinda responsible for you.

Losing your job and all.

Was the erm... lady taking care of you?

I'm unattached, unemployed... no strings.

Oh, you'll do all right.

Would you believe it? Last year I was waiting tables in Dallas.

Just imagine.

Well, Richard, what do you think?

He looks what he is, a dancehall gigolo.

Come on, Richard, what do you expect? It's a Keystone two-reeler.

Now, forget the part he's playing and use your imagination.

Ah! Now there's a possibility.

For Wally Reid?

Hey, don't laugh. He's a star - big box office.

Not a... not a bit player like your man.

You see, honey, Wally's the boy next door all the women love.

I know the women of America,

and they want to vamoose from the boy next door.

Valentino's their ticket to a faraway land of romance.

Now remember, our hero in the movie is from South America, not South Dakota.

You give Reid sideburns and a bottle of brilliantine, and he's as Latin as, er...

you know, er... as a Mexican jumping bean.

More like six foot of home-grown corn.

Mmh.

But at least he's tried and tested. Now, we're making a million-dollar movie.

How can I take a chance on an unknown like Valentine?

- Valentino. - Yeah, Valentino.

You like him when he danced at Baron Long's.

Our picture isn't going to be one long tango.

The part calls for a great Latin lover. The schmuck looks like a tailor's dummy.

Well, he does have to dance with her.

The only time Wally looks good is when he's holding a football.

Yeah.

Come on now, Richard. What do you say?

Well, he wears a custard pie as well as the next man, but honey, he'd...

He'd look better carrying a tray than carrying a picture. I've seen enough.

No, wait a minute. OK, wait. Now, that was a mistake,

but wait a minute, I want you to see him in something romantic.

I want you to see him in something dramatic.

Honey, I can't offer this guy to a director like Rex Ingram.

He'll buy it. Don't you forget, you didn't want Rex either until I sold him to you.

Bert... Bert?

Can you kill this and run The Married Virgin?

Married Virgin?

What I hear of Valentino, it's the perfect casting.

I'm sorry, June.

Well, at least give him a screen test.

It would be a waste of good film stock.

Hey, isn't that the jerk that married that starlet - what's her name - Jean Acker?

And on their wedding night she locked him out of the honeymoon suite, eh?

This guy doesn't want a screen test, he wants a sex test.

Oh, what about your wholesome boy next door, Wally Reid -

can he get through a day without cocaine?

At least Wally sniffs it, which is more than Valentino does for his wife.

Oh, Richard, now come on.

You gotta trust me.

If the test is no good, you pay for the film stock.

You got a deal.

OK.

Skip the rest, Bert. Send all the stuff back to the distributors.

You look as if you're lost.

- Miss Mathis? - That's me.

Your secretary said I should come right on up.

You... you are not Mr Rudolph Valentino by any chance?

It's Valentino right now, but I'm thinking of changing it to Rudolph.

I mean, Richard Valentine.

Howdy, ma'am? Pleased to meet you.

Afraid I'm a mite early,

but I guess I'm just a natural get-up and go-getter.

Well, I, er... I'm not sure that you're early enough, er...

Richard, we were just checking through your credits.

I have my credentials right here.

My diploma - I graduated with first class honours.

- Diploma? - Yeah, right here.

Collegio Reale Agricolo...

The Royal Agricultural College of Genoa?

Not unlike Yale in many ways.

And you want to cultivate a big crop of lettuce here in California, right?

Not lettuce. Oranges.

- Oranges? - Yeah, I aim to buy an orange grove.

But my mother is far from well,

and first I must make some money to bring her over from Italy.

Well, maybe you're about to do just that.

D'you know why you're here?

You are writing a screenplay and are wanting me for the hero, I hope.

Am I right?

You know what sort of a hero?

There's only one sort- the clean-cut American boy,

and as you can see, I'm as Yankee as they come.

Yeah, but the hero of The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

is a Gaucho from Argentina with a taste for the tango -

and he's Latin.

Count Rodolfo Alfonso Rafaello Pierre Filibert Guglielmi di Valentina D'Antonguolla

at your service, Signorina.

Every day is Halloween in Tinseltown.

So, I said to June, of course it's a gamble. Whoever heard of a dago playing a dago?

At least, I said, let's give the guy a screen test.

Well, the rest is history. June?

- Hello, June. - Morning, folks.

Just running the tango scene, Richard, trying out some music.

That sounds good. OK...

I'm gonna leave you here with June. Let me know what you think, huh?

Au revoir, Richard. Merci bien.

Is that Valentino? Well, he certainly can dance.

Yes. I like...

Yes, I like very much.

Very good. Oh!

Beautiful, beautiful animal!

Like a tiger. He moves like a tiger.

What grace.

What sensuality.

Oh, how clever you are, dyevushka.

Thank you, Nazimova.

I think he's got class.

This is the guy you've been looking for.

He would make perfect Armand to my Camille...

...if he can act.

With you, they don't have to act, darling.

What a treasure.

June, dyevushka. Come and meet my latest discovery.

Natasha Rambova.

- Hi, Natasha. - Hello.

Since last night, she's my new designer.

Two discoveries in one day?

Mmh! What dignity! I must meet him today. Where is he?

Well, at the moment they're out in the valley shooting a battle scene.

If you like him, you'd better stake your claim right now

because when this movie's released, there's gonna be a second gold rush.

Merci, ma cherie.

Oh, what glamour, what elegance. Almost like a woman.

- Maybe his wife thought so, too. - Oh, you naughty girl.

Every day is Halloween in Tinseltown.

Holy cow!

Where is he?

Where is my sweet Armand?

Ooh!

Hey, Nazimova, we missed it. One more time for the New York Post.

And what a shame!

She would've made tomorrow's front page for sure.

Armand, my love.

It is I, your Camille.

I must be brave.

No! No! No!

I cannot.

The pain is too great.

Ah, I think I Will faint.

Hey, come on.

Bravo!

Please, please...

Bravo! Wonderful!

How well I remember

that fateful meeting.

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

were loose in the land.

Cut it!

Cut it!

Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing?

Get that heap out of here.

What daring! What symbolism!

What an awful lot of horseshit!

- Andrew, my boy. - Yes, sir?

- Your outrage was commendable. - Well, thank you, sir.

- You like your job? - Yes, sir.

Then you'd better learn to recognise the uncrowned queen of Metro.

- Nazimova! - Get me a drink.

Come on, let's go.

Rex! Melyushka!

Which one is Italian boy whose name wafts like garlic on every breath in town?

Randolph something or other.

- Any more, sir? - Take her to Valentino.

That woman will be the death of me. Reload!

Death? No, this is truly symbolic.

Our meeting on this wasteland harbingers death of commerce

and for you, my dear sweet boy, birth of art.

You can take your art, lady, and stuff it up your ass!

Natasha, translate please. He has picked up terrible accent.

He said...

Miss Nazimova, that's not Valentino. He's over there.

Ugh! Rex is naughty boy to play joke on Nazimova.

Fellow artists should only play jokes on studio bosses, not on each other.

Drive on!

Get us a coffee while you're in there, will you?

Anyway, it's terrible cliche to show death as man.

Is it?

- Well, where is he? - Over there.

You will forgive me, Miss Nazimova, for saying so,

but I don't think Rudy's really exactly in the mood for company.

- I beg your pardon? - I am sorry.

It's just that, well, he's had a letter from Italy this morning.

His mother just passed away.

Natasha... we have found our Armand.

We'll have to do something about those awful eyebrows.

Ooh...

Oh, that I could have sacrificed my life for him in reality

as I sacrificed myself for him long ago in Camille.

Do you ever plan on making a comeback, Nazimova?

I am waiting for the right vehicle.

A hearse yet.

Did the failure of Camille set back Valentino's career?

Camille was a triumph.

Only money lenders equate box office receipts with artistic merit.

Camille was turning point in Valentino's life.

Is it right that he turned down the part of John the Baptist

in your homosexual production of Salome?

He was unavailable.

- So, Rudy never worked with you again? - Oh, poppycock!

We worked on History of Dance project.

Russian ballet, Greek dancing. Big production.

We even made storyboard in my own home.

Isn't that so, Natasha?

Only no studio would finance it. No vision.

Were you the art director on that one, Natasha?

Naturally! We were one big happy family.

Oh, Natasha, dyevushka.

Come to Nazimova.

Come into my arms, my little one.

Did Rudy's death come as a shock to you, Mrs Valentino?

Nazimova never stops thinking about...

Was he ill at the time of your separation?

- We were never separated. - June!

We were torn apart physically for a while by the evil forces in Hollywood.

But we never lost contact on the spiritual plane.

- Which ended with his death. - Not at all.

Has Valentino any message for his host of worshippers?

He has a message for everyone.

"Dreaming when dawn's left hand was in the sky,

"I heard a voice from out the heavens cry,

"awake my little one and fill the cup

"before life's liquor in its flask be dry."

He's advocating an end to prohibition?

Is that a quote from his book of poems?

Sounds more like the Rubeiyet than Rudy.

Under my tutelage Valentino became both a poet

and a disciple of Omar Khayyem.

ls Omar the spirit medium through which you contact Rudy?

Meselope.

Meselope? Who's Meselope?

Take the bones of Meselope and cast them in the sand before me.

What is Meselope?

A key from the past to unlock the mysteries of the future.

Meselope was a High Priest to the God Osiris in Egypt, 3,000 years ago.

Sacra Madonna!

What do you see?

Do you see love?

I see trouble.

Hi, Rudy. I just saw the dailies. You're terrific.

We're gonna wrap early, Rudy, because we've got a light problem.

Hello, Natasha, what are you doing here? Having a picnic?

Will you save those bones for my dogs?

I'd really like to send your dresser home early.

It's all right, George. I'll manage.

- Well, just remember to fold... - ...everything away neatly. Yes, George.

Well, watch out for sand snakes.

And if you ever want a job as a slave girl, just give me a ring.

- Yeah. - Fine.

If you ever want to learn how to run a studio, just give me one.

Good night, Mr Lasky.

Good night.

And try to save a little something for the big rape scene tomorrow, huh?

- Let's go, George. - Yes, sir.

"Here with a loaf of bread beneath the bough,

"a flask of wine, a book of verse,

"and thou beside me singing in the wilderness,

"and wilderness is paradise enough."

- Did you write that? - Omar Khayyem.

Hey, maybe he can write our subtitles.

He's sort of retired.

Anyway, be kind of a mouthful to say during the big rape scene, don't you think?

You couldn't by any chance be kidding me, could you?

I've never been more serious.

You've got to be careful now.

The Four Horsemen and Camille made you a star.

They were quality movies.

You shouldn't be wasting your talent on this sheik stuff.

- Meselope's bones? - No, my own.

- Your bones told me to leave Metro. - And you doubled your salary.

The next step is script approval.

- What if Lasky refuses? - Kiss him goodbye.

Become independent and produce your own films.

Nazimova did it.

Do you think any of the majors would've backed a work of art like Salome?

Those shoe pedlars think "ars gratia artis" means "a great piece of ass".

How is Salome?

I finished my set designs last week,

and now I'm teaching Nazimova the Dance Of The Seven Veils.

You should be playing Salome yourself.

You like it then?

I would give half my kingdom for you to finish it.

Well, where is it?

- Where is what? - Half your kingdom.

Natasha, you know I love you.

Promises, promises, you're as bad as Herod.

He wouldn't pay up either.

I meant I will give you anything.

Yes, I know what you were planning to give me.

Can you blame me?

Yes, but you were cheating.

You can't give me half your kingdom because it already belongs to your wife.

Wife?

You know my marriage to Jean is no marriage at all.

I know she's suing you for separate maintenance.

The whole thing was a disaster.

Yes, I heard about the honeymoon fiasco.

They say that when it got right down to it, you couldn't even pay the bill.

I was down on my luck.

Yes, and when your luck changed, you walked out on her.

She did the walking, not me.

Then you should file a cross complaint...

...for divorce.

I couldn't.

Last time I got mixed up in a divorce, somebody got hurt.

Besides, it's not honourable to sully a woman's reputation in the courts.

A court, a tent, what's the difference?

If I sue for divorce,

would you accept it?

- Accept what? - Half my kingdom.

I never do anything halfway, darling.

That's one thing you should learn about me right now...

...if I'm going to become your wife.

Natasha!

You make me the happiest of men.

Just look at that costume!

And you promised to fold it away neatly for the big rape scene tomorrow.

Now, would you get dressed?

You look silly lying there in nothing but a turban.

I'm the Sheik of Araby

Your love belongs to me

At night when you're asleep

Into your tent I'll creep

The stars that shine above

Will light our way to love

You'll rule this land with me

The Sheik of Araby

Over the desert wild and free

Rides the bold Sheik of Araby

His Arab band

At his command

Follow his love's caravan

Under the shadow of the palms

He sings to call her to his arms

Natasha... Pazhalsta! No, please!

Darling, darling. Oh, Natasha, please. Dyevushka...

Neat trick!

You talk us into doing a storyboard for the next movie,

then you sell it to the press as pornography.

Oh, but I did not plan it that way. Please, believe me, dyevushka.

Oh, we will still make the dance film, yes?

We will still make the dance film, no!

Meselope says it's time to change partners.

- I'm getting married. - Oh, but you can't!

Spaghetti's divorce is not final. This is bigamy.

Not in Mexico it's not. And his name is Rudolph.

Oh... gavno!

Hmm.

Let me go!

Oh, get her in and shut up.

Someone who hates us, that's who did it.

Courva Nazimova.

You're not very lucky in your choice of friends.

You're not very lucky with your wedding nights, are you?

- June, are you there? - Hi, George. What are you doing here?

Look, I'm... I'm sorry to bother you, but it's important.

It must be to tear you away from Sunday brunch.

- Rudy is in big trouble. - What's the matter? Is he hurt?

No, no, no, nothing like that. He's in jail.

- Jail? - Yes, in jail.

The cops are holding him on a bigamy charge.

He and Natasha got antsy, you see,

so they skipped across the border for a Mexican marriage

and they got caught on the way back.

Now, June, if he's convicted, it's good for one to five years,

and the D.A. has set the bail at $10,000 on a Sunday, the bastard!

- Have you tried Lasky? - Yes, yes, but he's not taking any calls.

Then we'd better make a call on him - in person.

Ah, I've got my car right outside.

Hurry. Hurry, George. We don't want them to spend the night in jail.

Afternoon, Mr Lasky.

Er... it's very good of you to see us.

Naturally it's pretty important, or we'd never dream of bothering you.

What are you doing about getting Valentino out of jail?

Nothing.

But he's your biggest star! $10,000 is chicken feed to the studio.

You made a fortune out of him.

Why spend $10,000 to get him out,

when we're getting a million dollar's worth of free publicity with him on the inside?

How do I explain that to the stockholders?

That's inhuman!

Nonsense! It's strictly business.

The more the press knocks the boy, the bigger the box office. Goodbye.

Goodbye, sir.

- And thanks anyway. - You're welcome, I'm sure.

He thinks more of that damned monkey than he does of Rudy.

A lousy ten grand! Makes me wanna spit.

Have you tried Natasha's father?

He's a big shot in the cosmetics business or something, isn't he?

Richard Hudnut, June, is the cosmetics business.

Well, he sprang for Natasha all right, but bail for resisting arrest

isn't a hell of a lot more than that guy drops in a restaurant,

but Rudy he didn't want to know about.

Damnit, I'd lay out the dough myself, but I'm between pictures.

Well, I'm not between pictures.

Call my lawyer just as soon as the bank's open tomorrow, George.

Hey June, come on, you haven't got that kind of money.

I've got a few buck tucked away. what do you think I spend it on?

Champagne, baths and black silk formals?

Just don't tell Rudy where it came from. He'd never take it.

Are you sure you won't change your mind and come along? I know he'd appreciate it.

Just drop me off at the studio, George.

It's a shame that he won't know that you're the one pal who pulled for him in a pinch.

Oh, come on. Cut the hearts and flowers, George.

He's my bread and butter.

Rudy!

They've got you in the tank.

Thank God it's you, George. I thought I would be here all night.

I'm sorry, Rudy. Natasha's out for $500,

but your ten grand have been too much of a stickler.

What about Lasky? The studio?

What can I say? I guess they're scared of public opinion.

A charge of bigamy is a lot more serious than just er... biting a policeman.

But I am legally divorced.

Not in California you're not.

In California it takes a year for a divorce to become final.

That's why we got married in Mexico where they don't have that law.

Well, ha ha, now you're back in California where they do.

OK, Natasha, come on.

You're getting out of here, but Rudy has to wait for the banks to open.

Don't worry, Rudy.

My stepfather will stand for bail.

He owes it to you for taking me off his hands.

Please, Natasha. I'd rather you didn't.

Look, Rudy, I...

Don't worry about it, OK?

Worry? Worry about what, George?

Nothing, nothing. OK, come on, Natasha, let's get out of here.

Take this in remembrance of me.

Wear it always.

I promise you most sacredly, my darling...

Yes, my love?

...I'll get that little worm Lasky for this if it takes me the rest of my life.

Chin up, Rudy.

Come the dawn, you'll be as free as a bird. Just keep holding your nose.

Ah, here, lover boy. Another nice, strong mug of coffee.

- Thanks. Much obliged. - You're welcome.

I don't guess you was figuring on sleeping too much tonight anyway, huh?

Not a chance.

That's some broad.

Too bad we couldn't have obliged with the honeymoon suite.

It would've been quite an education peeping through the bars.

We'd have seen how much you got there hanging between your legs.

The eight wonder of the world, they say.

And I'll bet the blushing bride could've showed us a trick or two.

Leave her out of it.

Now, that's a naughty boy.

Gonna have to teach him a lesson.

Like er... taking away his toilet privileges.

Stronzo! Merda!

Which is a shame

because there was a little something in that coffee you've been drinking all day

to make you want to piss all night. Hey, Willie.

The world's greatest expert here tonight.

Why don't you ask him for a few pointers on split-tail anatomy?

Poor Willie - he's been inside so long he's forgotten what it looks like.

Hey, Willie, say hello to the world's greatest lover,

Mr Rudolph Valentino.

Give us a shake, Sheik.

And you'll never guess it's his wedding night.

Just stick it through the bars, Rudy, and close your eyes,

'cause you'll never know the difference.

No kidding, Willie. This guy has it ten times a day.

The broads just throw themselves on it.

Ten times a day, that's nothing.

I get it twenty times. Can you hear that? Twenty!

Once I had it twenty-four times. Every hour on the hour.

And I can draw it out, make it one long fuck.

That's what life should be about - one long fuck.

You gotta fuck them before they fuck you, right?

You gotta fuck them before they fuck you.

See, that's it, Willie boy!

Go fuck your fist!

That's all you're gonna get for the next twenty years, Willie.

Hey, Chief, kick the piss out of him.

Any minute now, fellas, I'm gonna sell tickets! Ha-ha!

Eh, what's the matter, Rudy? You want a change of diaper?

The eighth wonder of the world needs a plumber.

Come on, come on, clear off the street. Keep that street clear.

Natasha, Rudy, my children.

How you must have suffered. I moved heaven and earth to get you out of there.

I was just reading the judge's summing up. Seems it was all a mistake anyway.

Mexican laws aren't recognised in the State of California.

So, the ceremony was null and void.

- Neither was the marriage consummated. - So I read.

- The prison bars got in the way. - I'm truly sorry.

But now that's all over and forgotten.

Let's get down to the reason I asked you to come and see me.

Then we'll talk Son Of The Sheik.

And while you're at it, why not Grandson Of The Sheik?

I'm happy to say that the board of directors have just given the nod

to a little pet project of mine that's been in the works for some time now, Rudy,

namely a raise for yours truly.

We're not interested in a raise,

we're interested in double our present salaries.

It would be most appreciated if you could make yourself available

for make-up test and costume fittings on Monday.

We're not interested in trying on any new turbans just now, thank you.

Nor are we interested in pictures which debase our talent.

This "we" we insist upon over-using, Miss Hudnut,

this is editorial, or do we now think we're the Queen of Sheba?

From now on, I want script approval.

That's ridiculous, Rudy. Nobody gets script approval.

Fairbanks and Pickford get script approval.

But they own their own studio. They are United Artists.

Artists, huh! A bunch of phoney curls and a muscle-bound moustache.

He's a bigger star than both of them.

He, until a few short years ago, was a two-bit dancehall gigolo.

If it wasn't for me, you would be bankrupt.

I made you millions, and you offer me trash.

Unless you honour the spirit of my contract,

I will be compelled to find work elsewhere.

The only work you'll find, young man, is waiting on tables in some spaghetti joint.

Your contract here is two more years to go,

and if you so much as take a pratfall in a Mexican two-reeler,

I'm gonna slap an injunction on your little Italian ass.

Well, we could use the vacation.

Vacation, huh?

Two years off the screen, and he'll be dead and buried.

To my public I will never die,

and when Valentino returns,

he will not reward their loyalty with rubbish.

Ne crachez pas en I'air.

I warn you! You'll never work again, you meatball!

You are the spirit that moves the universe,

the songs that wakes the day,

the waves that soothe the sand,

the giving hand, the magic of a touch,

the peace of afterglow,

the mystery of night,

the promise of delight.

You make me sound like a shopping list.

The thrill of surrender,

the fount of all pleasure,

the power of religion,

my meaning for existence,

my vision of heaven,

my life eternal,

my love,

my friend.

Pure doggerel, darling,

but I like the sentiment.

Then you must help me turn it into poetry.

We'll work on it after lunch.

I think we'll have to set another place.

I fear it is a newspaper man.

Do you think we ought to make a run for it?

There's nowhere left to run to.

Good morning. George Ullman.

I represent Mineralava Toiletries.

Well, we haven't got a cent between us.

- I hope you've got some free samples. - Oh, you betcha.

Although I don't think your lady here is in need of them, Mr Valentino.

Natasha, a fan.

Oh, yes, sir. I've seen all your films.

Four Horsemen, Blood and Sand, The Sheik.

Of course, I haven't seen one in quite a while.

In a long while.

Over a year now.

And we've never been happier in our lives.

Mrs Crusoe and Robinson.

Our own island.

Who needs Man Friday?

No one who'd settle for sand and seaweed soup.

I know about you losing your suit with Lasky.

I also know you owe your lawyers $50,000,

money which you could very well use right now.

But I guess that's beside the point.

The press has been saying that you're washed up,

but I think differently. My card.

Mineralava Toiletries. He's not kidding.

Oh, no, ma'am. We have the largest range of ladies' aids and beauty clays

in the Continental U.S. -

save of course for Richard Hudnut Cosmetics, Miss Hudnut.

I am not Miss Hudnut. I'm Natasha Rambova.

And soon she will be Mrs Valentino... again.

Beg your pardon.

All the same, Miss Rambova,

I don't think your father'd like you even looking at that card.

There's one thing you should learn about me right now.

My stepfather's opinion is of little consequence to me, Mr, er...

Ullman. Good.

Does that mean then that you won't reject my proposition on those grounds?

Just what is your proposition?

Undertaking a tour. The stages of America.

Mr and Mrs Rudolph Valentino. An exercise in interpretive dance,

with a few kind words thrown in for the product as the finale.

Vaudeville! You must be out of your mind.

Huh! She must've been talking to the people over at Mineralava,

'cause that's exactly what they said.

"Stick to booking dog acts in Vaudeville."

Do you expect me to appear in Vaudeville?

I who have danced with Vladimir Kosloff and before the crowned heads of Europe?

- Anna Pavlova did. - Pavlova, huh!

- We're artists, not acrobats. - You're also broke.

Look, I don't want to spend the rest of my life in the perfume business

any more than you want to spend yours here on the rocks.

I'd like to take you over, manage you. To prove my potential,

I've already convinced Mineralava to cough up $7,500 a week.

Now, that's more than you ever made in movies.

Total artistic control?

Took the words right out of my mouth.

Thirsty?

What about Lasky's injunction?

I can't perform for anyone but him.

That injunction only covers acting.

Not a word in there about dancing.

Are you positive?

My lawyers checked it out. Are you thirsty?

Natasha, what do you think?

I just don't know, Rudolph.

What's she doing now?

Consulting our present business manager.

What does he say?

Meselope says he's thirsty.

Great! Wonderful!

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Just one moment, please.

On behalf of my wife and myself, I would...

One moment.

Thank you.

On behalf of my wife, Natasha, and myself,

I would like to thank you for the great ovation.

In the 53 cities we have so far visited on our tour,

this is the warmest reception we have ever received.

I would also like to thank the makers of Mineralava

who made possible our appearance here tonight.

And talking about appearances,

my wife owes her lovely complexion

solely to Mineralava beauty clay,

nature's answer to all skin problems.

I prefer Mineralava to all other beauty products,

including Daddy's.

Bravo!

Typical! Always biting the hand that fed her.

Excuse me, sir, but you have to keep your remarks to yourself,

or else leave the theatre.

Lasky? I didn't recognise you.

No reason why you should, Ullman. We've never met.

I want you to break his contract with Mineralava.

You won't be the loser by it.

I'll pretend you didn't say that, OK?

What's wrong? You represent him now, don't you?

I was referring to your agent's fee.

- Well, you know his terms. - Hers, you mean.

$10,000 a week, his own chauffeur-driven limousine,

and I'll even throw in a bungalow on the lot.

Gee, that even sounds reasonable.

But the final decision doesn't rest with me.

You mean Mrs Valentino?

That's why I'm giving them script approval

and putting her on the payroll as artistic advisor.

Well, there's someone else to consult.

What? Well, whoever it is, let me talk to him and fast.

Mr Lasky, I don't think you'd want to do that.

What are you talking about? Why wouldn't I want to do that?

You see, he's been dead 4,000 years.

Oh, the Goddamn bones.

Remember, darling, you're the greatest lover in all Europe.

Forget you're from the Bronx. You're a Countess.

Swoon, Lorna, swoon.

More restraint, Rudy, more restraint!

Run your hands through his hair.

Don't muss his hair!

- Flutter your eyelids. - Just a flicker of a smile, darling.

- Roll your eyes. - That's it, Rudy. No.

- More. - Less.

- More! - Less!

Now close your eyes.

Roll your eyes, damn you.

Pant, Lorna, pant.

Still, Rudy, don't breathe.

Now roll your head.

Perfectly still!

You are going to die, Lorna.

Now brush her cheeks with your lips.

Start closing your eyes.

Start opening your eyes.

Die of love.

Look at her cynically.

- Die of ecstasy. - More cynically.

- More still. - Are you ready for it?

- Stand by now. - Stand by... kiss!

Do you think she tells him what to do in bed?

Do you think we could say "out" now? Cut!

A powder puff.

Who did that?

Get Lasky.

That was damn silly, eh, Rudy?

Are you still there? Where are you?

Come down.

Will the perpetrator of that childish prank own up?

I'd like to see what kind of man he is.

Whoever the jerk is...

...he's yellow.

Whoever he is, I'll fight him here and now.

Lorna's right. He's yellow. He's not worth bothering about.

Let's get back to work.

There will be no more shooting on Valentino

unless the culprit owns up.

What's going on now, Natasha?

Another make-up problem?

Someone dropped this on Rudy from the rails.

A pink powder puff- who would do a thing like that?

Unless the guilty person

or persons responsible for this thoughtless act owns up,

there will be no more shooting on Valentino today.

Nobody's going to own up, because nobody wants to get fired.

Hey, Jesse, if you ask me, that sounds like victimisation.

If you want to be fair about this thing, fire everybody.

I don't want anybody fired. I just want to fight them.

I give my solemn promise

that if the person or persons responsible for this thoughtless act

steps forward here and now and apologises,

the apology will be accepted and no further action taken.

Natasha, I must go back in there.

Huh! That'll look funny - you just walked out.

Because I love you.

They're tearing us apart.

Why can't it be like it was before?

It Will be. It Will be.

After this one we can say goodbye to Lasky forever.

United Artists?

George just fixed a deal.

He's coming over to the house this afternoon with the contracts.

Well, that's what you've always wanted.

Oh, darling, all I've ever wanted is to work beyond the reach

of every hamfist with a key to the screening room.

I'll be the production designer,

the writer,

the director.

You'll play the part of your life.

A dark-skinned moor, bearded,

a sort of intellectual Othello.

The Falcon will be the perfect film because it will be the work of one person:

us!

That's wonderful, dear.

But now I must go back inside there

or forever lose my self-respect.

Self-respect?

I call it vanity.

But if you really want to win the respect of the crew,

you'd better screw that little whore Lorna.

And make sure everybody knows about it.

Hey! Come back here, you.

Hey, come here.

- Rudy! - OK, little lady, are you coming quietly...

- Rudy! - ...or do I have to slug you?

I'm the President of the Santa Monica fan club. Rudy's expecting me.

I've got a letter. I'm invited.

Not in his private bungalow, you're not.

- Oh, Rudy! - Let go of that door I say!

That Marsha's crazy about you. What's she like?

I've never met her.

Oh, yeah?

Honestly and truly.

Like you truly wanted to rehearse the love scene in the lunch break?

Oh... I never dreamed that this could happen.

I mean, with all the women that you must have,

not to mention your wife, I mean.

You know, I'm not gonna accept another date all week,

just so I can lie in bed and remember this.

All the others will just be silly memories.

I just won't be able to stop thinking about this moment.

Confess. Have there been many others, Lorna?

They don't count.

I often dream of you

when I'm with another man.

It doesn't bother you, does it, the other men I mean?

All women are meant to be loved, Lorna.

You've just been getting too much.

All those starlets and God knows how many fans.

Not to mention your wife.

Hurt me. Don't be gentle.

Imagine you're the Sheik on your big white stallion,

crushing life out of me in your arms.

Don't be gentle. Hurt me.

Do something.

Look! Look! Look! It's the desert.

Close your eyes.

Trust me, honey, I've been over this a thousand times.

It's the desert.

Merciless, blazing sun.

Heatwaves shimmying from the purple dunes.

My lip is rimmed with sweat.

- Perspiration. Excuse me. - You're welcome.

The clothes are sticking to the contours of my damp body.

You come riding up. You reach down,

and with one bronzed, rippling arm scoop me into the saddle.

Faster and faster we ride.

Your strong hands tear my limp bodice to shreds.

Steel fingers groping my thighs,

pawing at my swollen breasts,

plunging it into me now with a sharp crack of leather

as the riding whip cuts into my flesh.

Thundering hooves and groaning leather

until... Rudy...

Rudy! Rudy!

Alas!

I am... spent.

Oh...

Rudy!

You were so wonderful. I think I'm gonna die.

Not now, Lorna. We're going to be late for work.

Well, Sidney.

- Well, Rudy? - Let's go.

Aren't we waiting on Mrs Valentino?

No.

- Let's go. - That's great.

We can pick it up from where we left off.

You hear a noise behind the door, and you get off...

No! Let's do the love scene all over again.

It was far too mechanical,

and I think Lorna and I can improve on it now.

We sure could, lover.

Maestro, make with the music.

E mo/to appassionata!

Action!

Natasha!

What's the matter?

It's not over Lorna, is it?

The U.A. contract.

George was spelling out the small print.

That's a very good deal, Rudy. It's half a million dollars a year.

And I'm not even allowed past the studio gates.

- The bastards! - Natasha, for God's sakes!

They're merely saying that your presence won't be required

during any stage of the production. That's all.

But that's impossible!

Damnit, Rudy, I've been fighting it for weeks! Now U.A. is adamant.

We don't need United Artists. We don't need anyone.

We'll make The Falcon ourselves.

Without his help.

E ora basta!

Well, if you were to mortgage this house, these art treasures,

your cars, and all your horses, you'd still be a million dollars short.

You should have stuck to Vaudeville!

You're nothing but a small-time hustler

who's mismanaged our affairs from the start.

Now it's perfectly obvious you're trying to break up our marriage.

You wanted the U.A. deal in the first place. We were damn lucky to get it.

There's not a producer in this town who'll let you on his set.

Those are the people who built this business.

And they're not gonna let a woman tell them how to run it.

She wanted a clause giving her the right to play the female lead... even direct!

We were doing fine until she started howling for the moon.

Hollywood's killing me. You know that, don't you?

After Beaucaire there's nothing to keep us here.

A jug of wine, a book of verse,

thou beside me in the wilderness.

I'm too old for beach-combing.

Beach? You can't grow anything on a beach.

- What do you mean? - I've still got my diploma of agriculture.

What's to stop us getting that orange grove?

Produce the Valentino Seedless Navel together?

I would hope that destiny had promised us a richer fate than that.

But...

...we shall see.

Meselope, what is our destiny to be?

Are we to seek new horizons for our endeavours?

Are we to continue working together?

We're to stay in films but work separately?

Yes?

- You... - ...are the spirit that moves the universe.

- You... - ...are the song that makes the day.

- You... - ...are the waves that soothe the sand.

- You... - ...are the giving hand.

- You... - ...are the magic of a touch.

- You... - ...are the peace...

Quick, before it's too late!

- You... - ...are the mystery of night.

You...

Are we to work together?

You...

Are we to remain together working?

Are we? Are we?

You...

Are we?

Shall we be together?

Yes! Of course we shall, Natasha. Please, stop.

You...

Please! Free us!

Release us.

Let us go.

Let us go.

Natasha, please stop!

You...

...are the power of religion.

You...

Natasha! Think about us!

"Us"? It's not "us", it's you.

Listen to them. They think you're God.

Can't you just forget them?

Not any more than they could forget about you.

- I'll quit. I promise. - Quit?

It's gone too far for that. You're not going anywhere.

Listen to them!

- You... - ...are the thrill of surrender.

- You... - ...are the fount of all pleasure.

I could show them. I could make a film.

That's it! Who cares what Meselope says?

We'll do it together, just like before.

- No! I could make a film. - Fine, fine.

I'll arrange anything you need.

I just want us to be together.

It'll be all right. We'll be together.

Just as soon as who they think you are is gone -

then we can be together forever.

But we are together now. Natasha, please.

- You... - ...are my vision of heaven.

I'll turn their heaven into hell.

- You... - ...are the food of love.

I'll ruin their appetite for it.

- You... - ...are the dream that intoxicates.

I'll slap them sober with the truth.

Natasha, please. Do you love me?

Just say you love me.

You love me.

Jesus Christ!

Aren't you just?

- You... - ...are my life eternal.

- You... - ...are my friend, my love.

The winds of destiny tore us apart

and drove us along different paths.

But though his lips will never touch mine again...

...I can still embrace his spirit through Meselope.

Don't worry, melyushka.

Other lips await you in your young life.

Lips you loved touching you before, huh?

Lips you wouldn't listen to

when they warned you all this would happen. No?

Perhaps that is true.

I only know there will never be another Valentino.

There will never be one even remotely like him.

Dyevushka...

He was a God.

Those who buried Caesar have now come to praise him.

If only you'd told me how sick he was.

Why didn't you tell me?

What could you have done?

He wouldn't listen to me. He wouldn't listen to his doctor.

Have you ever tried to stop a man from committing suicide?

He wasn't committing suicide, George, he was fighting for his life.

For Christ's sakes, June. It was a crazy dream.

Very moving performance.

It was terrible.

- I feel sorry for her. - Well, palsy, don't worry about it.

Like they say in the sticks, if it's good enough for the hicks, it ain't for the slicks.

I'll find a taxi.

- Hey, George. - Yeah?

I would like to walk.

I'd prefer that you got to bed early,

so that you're well-rested for that premiere tomorrow, Rudy.

Every newsman this side of Kansas City is going to be there.

News...

Playing Son Of The Sheik - is that news?

Well, it's good publicity for the picture.

Oh, it'll do all right.

Yeah, but a personal appearance once in a while doesn't hurt anyone, you know?

Have you got the reservations for the sleeping car?

Yes, don't worry.

We leave for Hollywood on the Superchief right after the reception tomorrow night.

I'm just an anxious to get back as you are.

But not for the same reason.

No, and that's why it's more important that you see your doctor instead of Natasha.

She's not there anyway.

After the way she dressed that stupid actor up to look like you and then crucified you,

no way is she going to be there.

This time you are wrong, George.

I'm not going back to Natasha.

I'm going to buy my orange grove at last.

- Oh, yeah? - Oh, yeah.

- Oh, hi! - Oh, Christ!

Wanna have a good time?

- Which one? - Oh, I can handle two at once.

I got the sockets if you got the plugs.

I envy you, Madam.

I myself don't seem capable of sustaining even one effort for very long.

What's the matter, baby? Got the blues?

Mama knows a pretty swank speak just around the corner.

George, I want a drink.

Rudy, the only spigot you're supposed to be tapping is attached to a cow.

Who are you - his wet nurse or something?

Hi, Buzz. Got a couple of rich relatives from outta town.

Well, that'll be $25.

Great, we're just in time for the show. Hi, girls.

All right. Frank, grab that one for us.

Come on, sit down.

Oh, Rudy, what have you done to the U.S. male?

We liked him better when his cheeks were pale

You turned him into a Sheik, a freak

Slave bracelets, let's face it, make us shriek

Oh, Rudy, oh, Rudy, oh, what have you done?

I can't have me any more fun

I might as well become a nun, oh, oh, oh

Rudy, what have you done?

What have you done to the U.S. male?

We liked him better when his cheeks were pale

We hate him now he uses talcum powder

Liked him better when his clothes were louder

Gee, I guess I ought to take a powder from Rudy

The pink powder puff

Whoop!

They do this sort of thing all the time.

Get some hot poop out of the paper, turn it into a tune.

You should've seen what they did with that monkey trial...

What does she mean about the paper, George?

It was nothing, Rudy. An editorial.

Some small-time hack trying to make a name for himself,

doing a hatchet job for the Herald - nobody ever pays any attention to that.

Don't worry about it, huh? Rudy!

' Rudy!

You stay put and pay the tab, buster.

Stronzo! Merda!

How dare this insect insult me like that?

Guy's not worth a second thought. Forget him.

Assassino!

I shall make him eat his words. I'll challenge him.

For Christ's sake, we don't fight duels in America.

I don't intend to fight a duel. I'll meet him in the ring.

That's ridiculous. You're in no condition to fight.

Ridiculous. I'll tell you what is ridiculous, George -

that I should be born into such a time when a machine is invented

that can turn a man who wants only to be a farmer into some kind of a God.

That people can stand in line for hours

to sit in some dark room to see me flickering past their eyes.

They fall in love, they destroy your marriage,

they tear you to shreds or else ask why I wasn't quietly drowned.

Millions of people who never met me, never heard me speak.

That's what is ridiculous.

Okey-dokey.

I'll cancel the reservations.

To the man who wrote an editorial

headed "Pink Powder Puff" in the Sunday Herald.

Your editorial is a scurrilous personal attack

upon me, my race, my father's name.

You cast ridicule upon my Italian ancestry.

You cast doubt upon my manhood.

I call you in return a contemptible coward

and challenge you to meet me in a boxing arena

to prove in typical American fashion,

for I am an American,

which of us is a better man.

Hoping to have an opportunity to demonstrate to you

that my wrist under a slave bracelet...

...may snap a real fist into your sagging jaw.

I remain, with utter contempt, Rudolph Valentino.

Er... thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen, the exhibition is now over.

Thank you.

Hold it, fellas, hold it.

Keep your notebooks out. Rory O'Neil, New York Evening News.

The man who wrote that article is in a wheelchair, he's so old.

So, I accept your challenge on his behalf.

And on behalf of all clean-living, red-blooded Americans.

- You tell 'em, Rory. - Yeah!

Thanks, Rory. Reserve a front row ticket for me.

I wanna be there, Rory, when you land the knock-out punch.

Yeah, my boy!

He'd be more at home with duelling pistols and swords, wouldn't he, Rory?

Whatever he wants is OK by me.

I will meet him with the weapons of his choice.

How about powder puffs at twenty paces, Sugar?

You must forgive Mr Valentino.

His sensitivity, gentlemen - he has a very important premiere today

- and besides which his health is not... - George!

Hold it!

I apologise. This is the wrong time and place.

Get your hands off me.

I don't need any help from your kind.

I'll see you in the ring.

And God help you!

I can't wait to write this one up.

Well, you've done it now, sluggo,

you've just challenged the ex-heavyweight champion of the Navy.

Damnit, Rudy. We've been set up.

We're the victims of a cheap publicity stunt by the News.

- Now, let's call the whole thing off. - That's just what they want.

"Valentino ducks fight." Can't you see the headlines?

What the hell is going on?

What kind of madness is this?

Ullman! Ullman!

I want you to get Rudolph dressed and get him out of this place,

and not just now, but immediately!

Go away, Joseph.

This is none of your business.

So, it's none of my business?

Listen, the publicity is going to ruin you, The Son Of A Sheik,

but more important - me!

I'm gonna warn you, Ullman - get him down, and get him out of here.

Don't you think I haven't been trying to do that, Mr Schenck?

- For Christ's sakes, it's too late now. - Then it's too late for the both of you.

I consider this a contravention and an infringement of our agreement,

so either you call off this whole business,

or both you and your contract are null and void

both separately and collectively.

So, go tell your client he's hereby suspended.

You're making a big mistake, Mr Schenck.

Let him go, George. That suits me fine.

I have no intention of making more pictures anyway.

- After this I'm going back to California. - I know, the orange grove.

Ladies, gentlemen,

and others,

we are presenting tonight

a dancing contest.

I'm sorry, I mean a boxing contest,

comprising of three three-minute rounds

between Mr Rory O'Neil,

heavyweight champion of the Navy

at 216 pounds

in the red corner,

and Rudy Valentino of Hollywood

at 155 pounds

in the pink corner.

Now, when the bell rings, I want you to come out of your corners fighting.

Fight clean, and may the best man win.

- Oh... - Hey!

Right.

- Look out, Rory, he's behind you. - Ooh!

Powder puff lover.

One...

Hey, ref, that's a foul.

...four, five, six, seven, eight, nine.

Rory, the great lover hit me.

Oh, this is... Goddamnit!

No, don't let him clinch you.

Rudolph!

Rory! Rory...!

Hey, get out! Get out of here!

Filthy son of a bitch!

Rory! Rory...!

Do you want to ruin his face?

For Christ's sakes, George, throw in the towel.

- If you do, you are through. - And if I don't, you're through.

Now use your right. Set him up with your left and then give him the right.

I didn't know you were a boxing fan, June.

I just heard about it on the radio... on the radio, for Christ's sakes!

Rudy, don't you see what a farce this is?

You've got the wrong script, June Mathis.

This is a matter of honour.

I think you're doing swell, champ. Give him hell.

Thank you, madam. It is nice to have someone in my corner, rooting for me.

- Oh, God! Rudy, please. - Attaboy, Rory.

Attaboy, champ.

Oh, my God!

One, two, three...

Rory! Rory...!

One, two, three, four, five...

Rory! Rory...!

Hey, Rory, bring him over here.

May I have the pleasure of this dance?

Music, Maestro!

Ole.

Don't let him do that to you. Come on out.

Get him out of here.

Get him away!

For Christ's sake, look at his face.

Oh, Rudy, please. Oh, Rudy, please stop it.

Don't worry about a thing, champ.

That big rummy's so out of breath, he's growing gills.

Why don't you beat it, lady?

You want us to borrow your broomstick, toots?

Let me...

Let me call it off.

You can do it, champ.

Wanna give up, pretty boy, before I muss your hair?

Oh, that's it!

One, two, three...

four...

five, six, seven, eight...

nine.

Oh, come on, champ.

That's it! That's it! Oh...

Madam, permit me to complete your dance card.

Yeah! Ooh!

We did it!

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, ten.

We made it. Come along, June.

Rudy! Rudy! Rudy...!

That's my boy!

That's my boy!

My boy!

I love you. I love you like you were my own son.

You can have whatever you like. You can write your own ticket.

- I'll see you on the lot. - Hey, no hard feelings, huh?

- Have a drink. - Oh, no.

No, he's celebrating with milk tonight.

Milk? Hey, what's that for? His complexion?

- It's for my teeth. - Oh, yeah, of course, I forgot.

You use powder for your complexion.

- He's more of a man than you'll ever be. - Is that so?

Well, here's another challenge.

He managed three laps round the dancefloor -

let's see how many rounds he can go

before he takes a dive in Kelly's Speakeasy.

Come on, O'Neil.

He's beaten you once tonight, and with this right...

It's all right, George. I'll accept.

Right! See you there in thirty minutes.

You mean that big gorilla beating you half to death wasn't enough?

You want to finish it yourself? Well, don't look for me at ringside.

Why? What do you mean? What does George mean?

Do you know the way to Kelly's Speakeasy?

What does George mean?

He's finished!

Excuse me.

Hey, champ, how about a word for the press?

Tell those cowardly hatchet men

that by the outcome of these contests tonight,

this American has vindicated his honour

and his manhood.

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

For he's a jolly good fellow

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

Which nobody can deny

For he's a jolly good fellow

- For he's a jolly good fellow - I want these maniacs to get out.

For he's a jolly good fellow...

I'll see you later.

O sole mio

Sta 'nfronte a me!

O sole mio

Sta 'nfronte a te!

Che bella cosa

Na jurnata'e'sole

There's a new star in heaven tonight

That will never fade from our sight

There's a new star at home

In that far starry dome

Shining down on his loved ones tonight

There's a voice singing, "Lead, kindly light"

With a smile that has made the world bright

Valentino, goodbye

But way up in the sky

There's a new star in heaven

Tonight