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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:21,136 So, meiosis is the process by which a cell divides 2 00:01:21,203 --> 00:01:23,471 and splits up the number of chromosomes. 3 00:01:23,538 --> 00:01:25,840 Now, this is different than mitosis, remember. 4 00:01:25,908 --> 00:01:29,011 They are to form what are called gametes, alright? 5 00:01:29,078 --> 00:01:30,678 Did this make sense to everybody? 6 00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,613 Alright now, each gamete contains 50 percent.. 7 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,050 We're just gonna like, wreck your house. 8 00:01:35,117 --> 00:01:37,353 - It's gonna be so rad. - Who's even coming? 9 00:01:37,419 --> 00:01:40,621 Yeah, is it gonna be like, super exclusive? What's the deal? 10 00:01:40,688 --> 00:01:42,523 It's a back to school party, you dumb beezies. 11 00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:45,127 Everyone's coming. 12 00:01:45,194 --> 00:01:47,963 Sara can even bring her D-and-D BFF for all I care. 13 00:01:49,630 --> 00:01:50,698 They combine to form... 14 00:01:50,765 --> 00:01:53,302 We're not even friends anymore 15 00:01:53,369 --> 00:01:55,603 and we didn't play D-and-D, it was magic. 16 00:01:58,073 --> 00:01:59,874 'Uh, yes, Hayley?' 17 00:01:59,942 --> 00:02:03,578 Amoebas and stuff can like, split into two, right? 18 00:02:03,644 --> 00:02:06,148 - Like asexually? - Mm, that's right. 19 00:02:06,215 --> 00:02:07,548 So if that works, then why 20 00:02:07,615 --> 00:02:09,418 is sexual reproduction even a thing? 21 00:02:09,485 --> 00:02:12,154 Uh, 'cause it's super fun? 22 00:02:12,221 --> 00:02:15,457 Actually, that's a terrific question. 23 00:02:15,523 --> 00:02:17,692 - What a Margaret. - Yeah. 24 00:02:17,759 --> 00:02:19,627 Hey, did you get 151? 25 00:02:19,694 --> 00:02:21,629 I'm trying to get real faded? 26 00:02:21,696 --> 00:02:22,998 - Oh, me too. - Me too. 27 00:02:23,065 --> 00:02:26,168 I'm gonna get maybe even like, double faded. 28 00:02:35,676 --> 00:02:37,379 'Ew, cold.' 29 00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:48,957 So, did you live at the hotel pool? 30 00:02:49,024 --> 00:02:50,025 Huh? 31 00:02:50,092 --> 00:02:54,129 You're just super tan from Mexico. 32 00:02:55,064 --> 00:02:57,698 Oh. I guess. 33 00:02:57,765 --> 00:02:59,767 It looks really good. 34 00:02:59,834 --> 00:03:02,837 I'm not trying to roast you or anything. 35 00:03:06,341 --> 00:03:09,178 Hey, did you write down the bio reading? I totally... 36 00:03:09,244 --> 00:03:13,015 Sara, we're on different paths now, okay? 37 00:03:13,949 --> 00:03:14,917 Okay? 38 00:03:14,983 --> 00:03:17,920 So, can we just like, let that be. 39 00:03:17,986 --> 00:03:19,354 You know, I'm moving forward. 40 00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:20,855 No, yeah, I get it. 41 00:03:20,923 --> 00:03:24,026 You wanna focus on lacrosse and college. 42 00:03:24,093 --> 00:03:27,029 Sure, yeah, uh, there's that. 43 00:03:28,564 --> 00:03:30,631 I thought the sex thing wasn't a big deal. 44 00:03:30,698 --> 00:03:33,868 Yeah, well, I've changed a lot this summer. 45 00:03:33,936 --> 00:03:36,004 My priorities are.. 46 00:03:40,242 --> 00:03:42,610 ...different, okay? 47 00:03:47,082 --> 00:03:48,816 Hey, Sara? 48 00:03:50,986 --> 00:03:53,688 It's pages 24 through 43. 49 00:03:53,754 --> 00:03:56,391 Skip the lab questions on 30. 50 00:03:59,895 --> 00:04:02,931 - Hey, Skyler! - What's up, Skyler? 51 00:04:08,937 --> 00:04:10,405 Hey, Sare Bear, I'm heading to class. 52 00:04:10,472 --> 00:04:11,573 You do your homework? 53 00:04:11,639 --> 00:04:14,309 - Did you do yours? - Zing! 54 00:04:14,376 --> 00:04:16,979 Seriously, you do it yet? 55 00:04:17,045 --> 00:04:19,714 That's what I'm talking about. Ten thousand hours, baby! 56 00:04:19,780 --> 00:04:22,117 Then you're gonna be a big time CEO! 57 00:04:22,184 --> 00:04:25,420 That's not even a real thing. 58 00:04:25,487 --> 00:04:26,687 Are you wearing makeup? 59 00:04:26,754 --> 00:04:30,725 No, I just moisturized. 60 00:04:30,791 --> 00:04:33,028 It's called making an effort. 61 00:04:33,095 --> 00:04:34,762 Okay. 62 00:04:37,865 --> 00:04:39,834 Everything peachy in your world, baby? 63 00:04:39,902 --> 00:04:42,237 Yep, can you close the door please? 64 00:04:42,304 --> 00:04:45,340 Alright, I'll get outta your hair. 65 00:04:45,407 --> 00:04:47,276 Be good. 66 00:05:04,159 --> 00:05:05,260 Hey. 67 00:05:06,195 --> 00:05:07,262 Hey. 68 00:05:08,096 --> 00:05:11,066 I thought we could, talk? 69 00:05:13,468 --> 00:05:14,735 Huh? 70 00:05:30,586 --> 00:05:31,987 Do you have a condom? 71 00:05:37,659 --> 00:05:39,461 Just pull out. 72 00:05:42,397 --> 00:05:43,764 I will. 73 00:06:03,784 --> 00:06:05,153 Ow! 74 00:06:06,555 --> 00:06:08,090 Ow. 75 00:06:31,546 --> 00:06:33,015 It felt so good. 76 00:06:34,583 --> 00:06:36,918 Yeah, amazing. 77 00:06:38,453 --> 00:06:41,356 Did you pull out? 78 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,394 It's okay. 79 00:06:46,628 --> 00:06:48,063 It's okay. 80 00:06:49,531 --> 00:06:50,666 I'm sure it's.. 81 00:07:40,682 --> 00:07:42,551 Jesus! 82 00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,621 I just wanted to see if everything was okay, shit! 83 00:07:51,426 --> 00:07:52,894 So.. 84 00:07:54,796 --> 00:07:57,299 Is everything okay? 85 00:07:57,366 --> 00:08:00,035 Yeah. Thanks. 86 00:08:06,641 --> 00:08:09,311 Tegan's thigh gap is so much better than mine. 87 00:08:09,378 --> 00:08:11,413 - Pouty face. - Oh, my God, Ki. 88 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:14,149 Yours is amaze, and mine's only because of gymnastics. 89 00:08:14,216 --> 00:08:16,184 - God, I should join. - That's cray. 90 00:08:16,251 --> 00:08:18,754 It's like a really big commitment, but I love it. 91 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,555 'Plus my mom won't let me quit, so who cares?' 92 00:08:20,622 --> 00:08:23,492 - My thigh gap is such garbage. - Shh, shh, shh! 93 00:08:26,128 --> 00:08:28,029 Feeling better? 94 00:08:28,096 --> 00:08:30,599 Mm-hmm, I'm fine. 95 00:08:30,665 --> 00:08:32,634 My favorite part was right before when you were like 96 00:08:32,701 --> 00:08:34,569 "Oh, I love my boyfriend." 97 00:08:34,636 --> 00:08:37,339 And then you totally barfed all over him. 98 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:41,676 Why are you so obsessed with me? 99 00:08:44,546 --> 00:08:46,181 I'm, I'm not. 100 00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:49,251 I'm just telling everybody the story 101 00:08:49,317 --> 00:08:51,453 because it's a super funny story. 102 00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:56,091 Yeah, you're like, the funniest one of our friends, Kiana. 103 00:09:03,832 --> 00:09:06,401 Hey, Sara, is everything cool? 104 00:09:16,044 --> 00:09:18,647 Talk about mood swings. 105 00:09:18,713 --> 00:09:20,949 What are you like, pregnant? 106 00:09:24,619 --> 00:09:27,088 That would be hilarious. 107 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:30,225 'What are you guys doing this weekend?' 108 00:09:30,292 --> 00:09:31,460 'Shopping.' 109 00:09:58,553 --> 00:10:00,088 Oh, thank Christ. 110 00:10:29,885 --> 00:10:33,822 'Sara, welcome to the land of the living.' 111 00:10:35,090 --> 00:10:36,691 'Sara?' 112 00:10:52,607 --> 00:10:54,175 W-T-Fuck? 113 00:10:55,912 --> 00:10:58,146 W-T-Fuck! 114 00:11:03,585 --> 00:11:06,454 'I'm coming in, hide your shame.' 115 00:11:39,788 --> 00:11:41,122 Okay. 116 00:11:45,293 --> 00:11:46,929 Fuck, fuck! 117 00:11:46,996 --> 00:11:48,163 - Fuck! - Hey. 118 00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:50,765 - Hey you. - I was just thinking about you. 119 00:11:50,832 --> 00:11:52,467 'I called you a bunch last night.' 120 00:11:52,534 --> 00:11:55,837 Yeah, I wasn't feeling awesome. 121 00:11:57,039 --> 00:11:59,174 So, how are you feeling? 122 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,875 'Uh, I'm okay.' 123 00:12:02,979 --> 00:12:06,481 Actually, now that you mention it 124 00:12:06,548 --> 00:12:08,717 'I have been feeling really..' 125 00:12:11,586 --> 00:12:13,355 ...horny. 126 00:12:15,724 --> 00:12:16,993 Wanna come over? 127 00:12:17,059 --> 00:12:18,526 I'd love to but I'm stuck 128 00:12:18,593 --> 00:12:20,562 with my mom all day, so lame! 129 00:12:20,629 --> 00:12:21,931 I'll see you later. Kisses, bye! 130 00:12:21,998 --> 00:12:23,032 Hey, w-we're still going to 131 00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:24,566 Kiana's together though, right? 132 00:12:25,667 --> 00:12:27,202 - Hey, bitch! - Kiana, hey... 133 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,436 Oh my God, shut up for second. 134 00:12:28,503 --> 00:12:30,171 Did you hear, Amy P. got shwasted 135 00:12:30,238 --> 00:12:31,439 and hooked up with Joey C.? 136 00:12:31,506 --> 00:12:33,976 They did it in his Scion, so grody. 137 00:12:34,043 --> 00:12:36,411 It's all DL by the way, Amy's supes embarrassed about it 138 00:12:36,478 --> 00:12:38,813 and made me promise not to tell anyone 139 00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:40,615 also she pegged him. 140 00:12:40,682 --> 00:12:42,183 So, what's up? 141 00:12:54,930 --> 00:12:58,134 So, why are you here? 142 00:12:58,199 --> 00:13:01,003 Uh, hello? 143 00:13:01,070 --> 00:13:03,772 Okay, I'm just trying to like 144 00:13:03,838 --> 00:13:05,407 like, where's Kiana? 145 00:13:05,473 --> 00:13:06,942 Aren't you guys like, besties now? 146 00:13:07,009 --> 00:13:10,913 I mean, I just thought you would help me or whatever. 147 00:13:12,847 --> 00:13:14,783 What? 148 00:13:14,849 --> 00:13:17,452 Nothing, you just 149 00:13:17,519 --> 00:13:20,555 kinda totally ghosted me sophomore year. 150 00:13:20,622 --> 00:13:23,658 What? I've seen you. 151 00:13:25,226 --> 00:13:27,195 Whatever, never mind. 152 00:13:27,262 --> 00:13:28,763 Hayley, I'm really freaking here. 153 00:13:28,830 --> 00:13:32,902 Well, sorry, it's just, a lot to take in. 154 00:13:35,270 --> 00:13:37,439 - Shyeah. - It doesn't make sense. 155 00:13:37,505 --> 00:13:38,873 I saw you yesterday. 156 00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:41,476 Puking my guts out. Morning sickness much? 157 00:13:41,543 --> 00:13:43,445 Okay, well, whatever's happening here is... 158 00:13:43,511 --> 00:13:45,915 Completely bat-shit. 159 00:13:45,981 --> 00:13:47,449 Gynecological. 160 00:13:47,515 --> 00:13:49,217 You need to go to a hospital! 161 00:13:49,284 --> 00:13:51,153 Hmm, veto. They'll call my mom. 162 00:13:51,219 --> 00:13:53,089 Oh, are you serious? 163 00:13:53,155 --> 00:13:54,355 This is triage, Hayley. 164 00:13:54,422 --> 00:13:57,225 Priority one is keeping this quiet. 165 00:13:57,292 --> 00:14:01,229 Priority two is my health and general overall wellbeing. 166 00:14:02,764 --> 00:14:05,767 Okay, so you want a place that's confidential 167 00:14:05,834 --> 00:14:07,970 maybe who knows a way around a freaky surprise pregnancy 168 00:14:08,037 --> 00:14:10,705 and, hey, hopefully doesn't cost anything either 169 00:14:10,772 --> 00:14:12,440 because why not? 170 00:14:16,277 --> 00:14:20,149 We're all human beings in God's eyes. 171 00:14:20,216 --> 00:14:22,450 It is not too late to turn around. 172 00:14:22,517 --> 00:14:25,453 'There is still time for forgiveness.' 173 00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:27,322 Don't make a decision you'll regret 174 00:14:27,388 --> 00:14:29,324 for the rest of your life. 175 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,425 Forgive this harlot, Lord. 176 00:14:30,492 --> 00:14:33,162 She knows not what she does. 177 00:14:33,229 --> 00:14:35,430 Jesus loves you! 178 00:14:38,134 --> 00:14:39,634 Bitch! 179 00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:58,154 I guess those opium orgies really paid off, huh? 180 00:14:58,220 --> 00:15:00,222 Okay, I told you it was my first time 181 00:15:00,288 --> 00:15:03,324 so stop slut shaming me. 182 00:15:03,391 --> 00:15:05,560 And sex is like, a totally natural 183 00:15:05,627 --> 00:15:07,762 healthy part of life anyway. 184 00:15:10,199 --> 00:15:12,500 Where is Skyler, anyway? 185 00:15:14,136 --> 00:15:16,437 - You should call him... - Don't! 186 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:20,042 It's not Skyler. 187 00:15:22,877 --> 00:15:25,513 That's the whole reason we broke up in the first place. 188 00:15:26,215 --> 00:15:27,849 I wanted to wait. 189 00:15:29,018 --> 00:15:31,220 Oh, that's probably good. 190 00:15:31,287 --> 00:15:34,322 Skyler was always kind of a sleaze anyway. 191 00:15:34,389 --> 00:15:37,325 And cocky, and a douche. 192 00:15:39,094 --> 00:15:41,563 - Oh, my God, was it Joey C.? - It doesn't.. 193 00:15:41,629 --> 00:15:43,265 Hayley, it doesn't matter. 194 00:15:43,331 --> 00:15:46,969 Would you just lay off, please? 195 00:15:47,036 --> 00:15:50,471 I just don't understand why you dragged me 196 00:15:50,538 --> 00:15:52,707 into this instead of.. 197 00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:55,543 ...Mark? 198 00:15:55,610 --> 00:15:57,378 I'm gonna get back to this questionnaire 199 00:15:57,445 --> 00:16:00,348 because it's slightly less invasive. 200 00:16:06,721 --> 00:16:09,058 So, how far along are you? 201 00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:11,426 A day. 202 00:16:12,627 --> 00:16:15,965 And I know that sounds like, super cray. 203 00:16:16,031 --> 00:16:19,301 Sara, you didn't just like, go to sleep last night 204 00:16:19,367 --> 00:16:21,103 and wake up nine months pregnant. 205 00:16:25,540 --> 00:16:26,608 It's pretty cray. 206 00:16:34,950 --> 00:16:37,819 I am so effed. 207 00:16:37,886 --> 00:16:39,387 No. 208 00:16:39,454 --> 00:16:41,123 I'm sure Zack will still support you. 209 00:16:41,190 --> 00:16:44,692 Not having this convo, again. 210 00:16:44,759 --> 00:16:46,262 I'm just, I'm just confused. 211 00:16:46,328 --> 00:16:48,396 You know, I thought you wanted to wait for this sort of thing. 212 00:16:48,463 --> 00:16:49,530 I mean, isn't that the whole reason 213 00:16:49,597 --> 00:16:50,698 why you broke up with that man slut? 214 00:16:50,765 --> 00:16:52,567 Skyler's not a man slut. 215 00:16:55,104 --> 00:16:56,738 He was all tan. 216 00:16:56,804 --> 00:16:57,572 Yuck! 217 00:16:57,639 --> 00:16:59,975 He just got back from Mexico. 218 00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:05,813 Mexico? 219 00:17:11,287 --> 00:17:13,956 Wait, what is.. 220 00:17:18,327 --> 00:17:19,861 Oh, God! 221 00:17:22,097 --> 00:17:23,865 Um, yeah. 222 00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:25,167 Um, okay. 223 00:17:26,434 --> 00:17:28,803 I'll be right back. 224 00:17:28,870 --> 00:17:30,973 I'm sure everything's fine. 225 00:17:36,078 --> 00:17:38,213 I'm gonna go get a doctor. 226 00:17:39,714 --> 00:17:41,183 I need you to look. 227 00:17:43,085 --> 00:17:44,353 I hate you. 228 00:17:55,965 --> 00:17:58,267 Whoa, okay! That was way more butt hole than I was expecting! 229 00:17:58,334 --> 00:18:02,837 Don't be such a prude! Come on, is it like, crowning? 230 00:18:02,905 --> 00:18:04,039 Gah! 231 00:18:12,247 --> 00:18:13,315 What the hell? 232 00:18:13,382 --> 00:18:15,650 I think that was a contraction. 233 00:18:17,386 --> 00:18:19,021 'You didn't tell me she was in labor.' 234 00:18:19,088 --> 00:18:20,588 How far apart are the contractions? 235 00:18:23,158 --> 00:18:24,559 Very close! 236 00:18:24,625 --> 00:18:26,061 We need to do this now. 237 00:18:26,128 --> 00:18:28,529 Richard, Richard! 238 00:18:28,596 --> 00:18:30,466 Richard, I'm telling you 239 00:18:30,531 --> 00:18:32,500 there is something weird on that sonogram. 240 00:18:32,567 --> 00:18:34,269 That's why I'm here. 241 00:18:35,737 --> 00:18:37,373 Ew, no, no, no! 242 00:18:37,439 --> 00:18:38,873 - Can't she do it? - 'Yeah.' 243 00:18:38,941 --> 00:18:41,343 I mean, there's like, a lot of butt hole. 244 00:18:41,410 --> 00:18:42,945 Miss, I'm an OB-GYN. 245 00:18:43,012 --> 00:18:46,514 There's nothing down here I haven't seen before. 246 00:19:19,814 --> 00:19:21,517 What the hell was that thing? 247 00:19:21,582 --> 00:19:22,650 Not a baby. 248 00:19:22,717 --> 00:19:24,520 - No duh! - Yeah, no duh. No duh! 249 00:19:24,585 --> 00:19:25,921 This is why you use a condom. 250 00:19:25,988 --> 00:19:28,589 Oh, this is so not why you use a condom! 251 00:20:05,227 --> 00:20:07,162 Holy shit! 252 00:20:34,890 --> 00:20:37,059 'Look out! Ah!' 253 00:20:39,962 --> 00:20:42,431 - 'Use this!' - 'It's not gonna work.' 254 00:20:42,498 --> 00:20:44,166 Where is it? 255 00:20:50,439 --> 00:20:51,507 Run! 256 00:20:54,109 --> 00:20:55,177 Here! 257 00:21:00,781 --> 00:21:02,484 What the shit was that? 258 00:21:02,551 --> 00:21:04,153 Definitely not a baby. 259 00:21:18,967 --> 00:21:21,537 'Hey, Ruiz, we got a call in of a possible 217' 260 00:21:21,603 --> 00:21:24,739 'at that clinic on Mesa Way. You think you can check it out?' 261 00:21:26,874 --> 00:21:28,709 Uh, yeah. I'm on the South Side. 262 00:21:28,776 --> 00:21:31,246 Ah, why can't Anderson get it? 263 00:21:31,313 --> 00:21:36,185 - 'It's his birthday.' - So? 264 00:21:36,251 --> 00:21:38,387 'So, we got ice cream cake at the station' 265 00:21:38,453 --> 00:21:39,820 and we don't wanna see it melt. 266 00:21:39,887 --> 00:21:41,957 Great. 267 00:21:42,925 --> 00:21:45,661 Yeah, alright, I'm on it. 268 00:21:45,726 --> 00:21:48,796 Oh, uh, save me a slice, yeah? 269 00:21:48,863 --> 00:21:50,666 'It's ice cream cake, Oscar.' 270 00:22:27,502 --> 00:22:28,836 What? 271 00:22:33,475 --> 00:22:36,144 It's just, the swelling hasn't gone down yet. 272 00:22:36,211 --> 00:22:38,046 That's not how it works, is it? 273 00:22:38,113 --> 00:22:39,780 I don't know, I opted out of help. 274 00:22:39,847 --> 00:22:42,017 Yeah, big surprise! 275 00:22:52,261 --> 00:22:54,596 - Ew, ew, ew! - What is happening? 276 00:22:54,663 --> 00:22:56,431 What do we do? What do we do? What do we do? 277 00:22:56,498 --> 00:23:00,235 Okay, okay. Um... we should call the cops. 278 00:23:01,603 --> 00:23:02,870 Okay, that's a good first idea. 279 00:23:02,938 --> 00:23:04,706 - Let's keep brainstorming. - Sara! 280 00:23:04,772 --> 00:23:06,708 Oh, like they'd believe any of this. 281 00:23:06,774 --> 00:23:10,412 And also, I'd prefer not to vag cannon anyone else tonight. 282 00:23:10,479 --> 00:23:12,481 It's called saving a life. 283 00:23:14,650 --> 00:23:16,918 And I'll call my mom, yes. 284 00:23:16,985 --> 00:23:19,955 Fine! Then we call Skyler right now. 285 00:23:20,821 --> 00:23:22,324 What's Plan C? 286 00:23:22,391 --> 00:23:25,093 Dude, he knows something, remember? 287 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,461 Mexico? 288 00:23:26,528 --> 00:23:29,830 That was a brief lapse of xenophobia. 289 00:23:29,898 --> 00:23:31,466 I don't want him getting involved in this. 290 00:23:31,533 --> 00:23:32,800 You don't understand. 291 00:23:32,867 --> 00:23:34,469 Yeah, no, I don't! 292 00:23:35,737 --> 00:23:37,805 He'll freak out and I don't.. 293 00:23:37,872 --> 00:23:39,941 And, hi, the vag cannon thing again. 294 00:23:40,008 --> 00:23:41,376 Oh, whatever! 295 00:23:41,443 --> 00:23:42,411 Okay, don't get huffy. 296 00:23:42,477 --> 00:23:43,878 We're still exploring. 297 00:23:43,945 --> 00:23:45,914 Okay, okay, okay. 298 00:23:45,981 --> 00:23:48,116 How tall is your staircase? 299 00:23:48,183 --> 00:23:49,284 Wow. 300 00:23:49,351 --> 00:23:50,652 We are really scraping the bottom 301 00:23:50,719 --> 00:23:52,354 of the idea barrel here. 302 00:23:52,421 --> 00:23:54,589 How 'bout we just slap you on the kitchen counter 303 00:23:54,656 --> 00:23:56,491 and aim you at the Vitamix? 304 00:24:05,267 --> 00:24:07,835 This better be the last time I see that butt hole tonight. 305 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,945 Hello? Sinners? 306 00:24:56,918 --> 00:24:58,553 Sinner. 307 00:25:28,016 --> 00:25:30,485 Nothing, just making smoothies. 308 00:25:31,953 --> 00:25:33,422 Yes, I fed them. 309 00:25:34,256 --> 00:25:36,425 Okay, love you too. 310 00:25:36,491 --> 00:25:39,194 - It's not coming out. - Try pushing. 311 00:25:39,261 --> 00:25:42,364 If I push any harder I'm gonna shit on the counter. 312 00:25:42,431 --> 00:25:44,499 Ugh! 313 00:25:44,566 --> 00:25:48,804 I can't find anything about a Mexican pregnancy monster. 314 00:25:48,870 --> 00:25:51,540 It's all just freaky Reddit threads. 315 00:25:52,507 --> 00:25:54,576 Ew! 316 00:25:54,643 --> 00:25:58,747 You know, I think if this is a thing people knew about 317 00:25:58,814 --> 00:26:01,082 we'd know, you know? 318 00:26:02,284 --> 00:26:04,619 'Sara, I forgot my books.' 319 00:26:04,686 --> 00:26:06,254 'Are you in the kitchen?' 320 00:26:09,858 --> 00:26:10,927 Hayley? 321 00:26:10,992 --> 00:26:12,327 Kate! 322 00:26:13,495 --> 00:26:14,931 Hey! 323 00:26:14,996 --> 00:26:16,998 Holy crap, sweetie! 324 00:26:17,065 --> 00:26:18,099 Give me a hug! 325 00:26:18,166 --> 00:26:21,303 Oh, let me come to you! 326 00:26:23,472 --> 00:26:25,040 Oh! 327 00:26:25,106 --> 00:26:28,076 I haven't seen you in forever and a day. 328 00:26:28,143 --> 00:26:29,511 You look so.. 329 00:26:29,578 --> 00:26:32,614 Oh, my God, you look like a grownup. 330 00:26:32,681 --> 00:26:35,984 And-and you're doing that school thing, which is awesome! 331 00:26:36,051 --> 00:26:37,519 'Yes, cosmetology training.' 332 00:26:37,586 --> 00:26:41,223 I'm gonna be a modern working woman. Girl power! 333 00:26:42,224 --> 00:26:43,992 - Where's Sara? - Bathroom. 334 00:26:44,059 --> 00:26:46,328 Ha! Story of her life. 335 00:26:48,597 --> 00:26:52,067 Oh, it is just so good to see you. 336 00:26:52,133 --> 00:26:53,702 I know, oh! 337 00:26:56,505 --> 00:26:58,874 It is just, it is so good 338 00:26:58,941 --> 00:27:00,075 to see you two hanging out again. 339 00:27:00,141 --> 00:27:01,543 Yeah! 340 00:27:01,610 --> 00:27:04,012 I don't know what is up with her lately 341 00:27:04,079 --> 00:27:08,717 but she just seems kinda, uh, ugh 342 00:27:08,783 --> 00:27:10,418 uh, you know? 343 00:27:10,485 --> 00:27:11,753 Really? 344 00:27:12,420 --> 00:27:13,588 No. 345 00:27:13,655 --> 00:27:15,892 Oh, I don't know. 346 00:27:15,958 --> 00:27:17,192 I feel like I'm losing my sweet girl 347 00:27:17,259 --> 00:27:20,529 to this person I don't recognize. 348 00:27:22,731 --> 00:27:26,201 I totally didn't notice. 349 00:27:26,268 --> 00:27:28,603 Well, you've always had your head screwed on straight. 350 00:27:28,670 --> 00:27:30,338 Sara's head is up her ass. 351 00:27:31,740 --> 00:27:33,241 Well, I'm off! 352 00:27:34,109 --> 00:27:35,810 Bye, Sara, be good! 353 00:27:39,481 --> 00:27:41,116 Okay, she's gone for now, but we cannot 354 00:27:41,182 --> 00:27:43,318 stick around here forever. Any changes? 355 00:27:43,385 --> 00:27:45,253 No, it's not coming out. 356 00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:47,622 So, what do we do? Just like, wait? 357 00:27:47,689 --> 00:27:50,158 I can't just Juno around town with this thing. 358 00:27:50,225 --> 00:27:52,093 We gotta get proactive. 359 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,162 Okay, um.. 360 00:27:54,229 --> 00:27:56,765 This says spicy foods can help. 361 00:27:56,831 --> 00:27:58,466 Subs and Thai's open 'til 9:00. 362 00:27:58,533 --> 00:28:00,468 Yeah, wait no. This is Yahoo Answers. 363 00:28:00,535 --> 00:28:03,071 We need actual science! 364 00:28:05,307 --> 00:28:08,176 Oh, my God. We go see Dave. 365 00:28:09,644 --> 00:28:11,613 No. Come on. Dave? 366 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,381 I was leading this cabin tour once 367 00:28:13,448 --> 00:28:15,884 and one of the alpacas, she was like, three weeks late 368 00:28:15,952 --> 00:28:19,220 and Dave shot this stuff into her that made her give birth. 369 00:28:19,287 --> 00:28:21,389 Yeah, but that's an animal. 370 00:28:21,456 --> 00:28:23,325 Exactly! 371 00:28:23,391 --> 00:28:25,027 He's not gonna believe us. 372 00:28:25,093 --> 00:28:27,562 Or we could call the cops? 373 00:28:36,137 --> 00:28:37,706 Yowza. 374 00:28:40,275 --> 00:28:42,577 Hey dispatch, we're gonna need an ambulance. 375 00:28:45,580 --> 00:28:47,449 And the coroner. 376 00:28:51,519 --> 00:28:56,224 Just try not to leak on anything back there. 377 00:28:56,291 --> 00:28:59,761 Yeah, I wouldn't wanna ruin your stunning upholstery. 378 00:28:59,828 --> 00:29:01,563 Hey, I just thought of something. 379 00:29:01,630 --> 00:29:02,965 'Yeah?' 380 00:29:03,032 --> 00:29:06,701 We've left that thingy in the clinic, right? 381 00:29:06,768 --> 00:29:09,371 - Uh-huh? - Well, like, oops, right? 382 00:29:09,437 --> 00:29:11,740 It could hurt more people. 383 00:29:11,806 --> 00:29:16,012 Maybe he's... dead? 384 00:29:23,652 --> 00:29:25,253 Yeah. 385 00:29:27,089 --> 00:29:29,190 But probably not, right? 386 00:29:30,525 --> 00:29:32,928 Maybe he's just, like.. 387 00:29:35,230 --> 00:29:36,765 ...chilling at the clinic. 388 00:29:42,637 --> 00:29:43,906 Yeah. 389 00:29:47,275 --> 00:29:48,843 But probably not, right? 390 00:29:50,046 --> 00:29:51,379 Hmm. 391 00:29:52,414 --> 00:29:55,750 Okay, let's deal with this guy 392 00:29:55,817 --> 00:29:58,020 and then we'll go back. 393 00:29:58,087 --> 00:30:02,424 Yeah, if we don't die, we won't definitely go back. 394 00:30:07,195 --> 00:30:08,730 Cool. 395 00:30:39,461 --> 00:30:40,795 Dave! 396 00:30:42,932 --> 00:30:45,467 - Hayley? - Hey. 397 00:30:45,533 --> 00:30:48,369 I, uh, did I call you in? 398 00:30:48,436 --> 00:30:51,539 No, but we kinda need your help. 399 00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:56,478 Sara Steinberg? 400 00:30:56,544 --> 00:30:59,547 Come out here, let me take a look at you! 401 00:31:05,988 --> 00:31:09,457 So, Sara had sex with some guy and got pregnant overnight 402 00:31:09,524 --> 00:31:11,060 and we went to the clinic, but she gave birth 403 00:31:11,127 --> 00:31:14,163 to this weird thing and it exploded a doctor's head 404 00:31:14,230 --> 00:31:16,498 and controlled a nurse like a puppet with its stinger 405 00:31:16,564 --> 00:31:18,666 and now she has another one inside of her 406 00:31:18,733 --> 00:31:21,070 and we need to get it out. 407 00:31:21,137 --> 00:31:23,705 And we know that sounds super cray. 408 00:31:26,407 --> 00:31:29,677 It's a parasite, a dracunculus 409 00:31:29,744 --> 00:31:32,580 or a blood fluke or something. 410 00:31:32,647 --> 00:31:34,482 Ugh, a blood fluke? 411 00:31:34,549 --> 00:31:37,352 Yeah, it's a type of flatworm. 412 00:31:37,418 --> 00:31:39,021 This is hot. 413 00:31:39,088 --> 00:31:40,855 So, I have worms? 414 00:31:40,923 --> 00:31:43,092 No, no, no, no. 415 00:31:43,159 --> 00:31:46,528 What you have is much freakier than that. 416 00:31:46,594 --> 00:31:48,630 So what kind of parasite can just hijack 417 00:31:48,696 --> 00:31:49,999 a human reproductive system? 418 00:31:50,065 --> 00:31:52,500 Or a whole human, while we're at it. 419 00:31:52,567 --> 00:31:54,469 Well, I can consult my literature 420 00:31:54,536 --> 00:31:56,371 but I'm pretty sure 421 00:31:56,437 --> 00:31:58,473 I haven't heard anything like this before. 422 00:31:58,540 --> 00:32:03,344 I mean, Sara, you may have discovered a whole new species. 423 00:32:03,411 --> 00:32:04,712 Goodie. 424 00:32:06,148 --> 00:32:08,850 This guy you got down with 425 00:32:08,918 --> 00:32:11,187 had he altered his routine at all? 426 00:32:11,253 --> 00:32:14,290 Gone spelunking, eaten something gnarly? 427 00:32:14,355 --> 00:32:16,624 Been bitten by a rabid dog? 428 00:32:16,691 --> 00:32:18,961 Well, he did just come back from Mexico. 429 00:32:19,028 --> 00:32:20,495 Mexico? 430 00:32:22,564 --> 00:32:25,333 Not in an ethnocentric way or anything 431 00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,971 but... maybe lover boy came back 432 00:32:29,038 --> 00:32:31,974 with an illegal alien? 433 00:32:35,743 --> 00:32:36,878 Whoa. 434 00:32:38,314 --> 00:32:40,983 Whoa indeed, caballero. 435 00:32:42,251 --> 00:32:43,885 Whoa indeed. 436 00:32:46,322 --> 00:32:48,723 Whatever, you can get it out of me, right? 437 00:32:50,391 --> 00:32:51,994 Probably. 438 00:32:52,061 --> 00:32:54,897 Hey, I checked on that Steinberg address, no one was home. 439 00:32:54,964 --> 00:32:57,465 Any news on that corpse? 440 00:32:57,532 --> 00:32:59,701 'Nope, no bet.' 441 00:33:51,619 --> 00:33:55,024 Oh, holy shit! 442 00:33:55,090 --> 00:33:56,624 It's still here. 443 00:33:59,560 --> 00:34:01,997 I completely forgot about this. 444 00:34:02,064 --> 00:34:03,598 Do you think he knows? 445 00:34:09,570 --> 00:34:13,708 Um... why did you stop coming? 446 00:34:21,016 --> 00:34:24,086 It's Skyler, I totally spaced. 447 00:34:25,220 --> 00:34:26,854 Hey, boo! 448 00:34:26,922 --> 00:34:28,357 You totally didn't respond to my texts! 449 00:34:28,424 --> 00:34:29,824 Are we rolling to Kiana's together or not? 450 00:34:29,892 --> 00:34:32,460 Oh, my God, I completely forgot, Sky. 451 00:34:32,527 --> 00:34:33,761 We talked this morning. 452 00:34:33,828 --> 00:34:37,066 I know I just, I got this stomach bug 453 00:34:37,132 --> 00:34:38,866 all of a sudden. 454 00:34:41,569 --> 00:34:43,038 I miss you. 455 00:34:43,105 --> 00:34:44,772 Yeah, yeah, that's fine, whatever. 456 00:34:44,839 --> 00:34:47,575 Um, I'm sorry you're sick. 457 00:34:47,642 --> 00:34:49,577 - Thanks. - It's just.. 458 00:34:49,644 --> 00:34:51,413 I just really wanna see you, you know? 459 00:34:51,479 --> 00:34:54,816 And I wanna, I wanna kiss you and I wanna be with you. 460 00:34:54,882 --> 00:34:57,086 - Mm. - Sexually. 461 00:34:57,152 --> 00:34:58,153 Oh. 462 00:34:58,220 --> 00:35:00,189 I just really wanna see you tonight! 463 00:35:00,255 --> 00:35:04,126 Yeah, I-I know, but I think it'll be out of my system soon. 464 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,962 I love you! 465 00:35:08,030 --> 00:35:09,431 What? 466 00:35:09,497 --> 00:35:11,166 I fucking love you, girl. 467 00:35:11,233 --> 00:35:13,268 'I love you!' 468 00:35:13,335 --> 00:35:14,937 Wow. 469 00:35:15,004 --> 00:35:16,804 Okay, I get it, you're sick, bye! 470 00:35:20,508 --> 00:35:22,945 - That was weird. - Huh? 471 00:35:25,780 --> 00:35:30,152 He was just acting super weird. I don't know. 472 00:35:30,219 --> 00:35:34,223 - Sara, you gotta tell him. - Are you kidding? 473 00:35:34,289 --> 00:35:36,458 We are almost home free, why would I tell him? 474 00:35:36,524 --> 00:35:39,761 Oh, my God, like 100 reasons! 475 00:35:39,827 --> 00:35:41,263 How do we know that he still doesn't have something 476 00:35:41,330 --> 00:35:43,765 inside of him, in his nards? 477 00:35:43,831 --> 00:35:45,833 Uh, 'cause it's inside me now. 478 00:35:45,901 --> 00:35:47,403 Okay, or, you know, how 'bout the fact 479 00:35:47,469 --> 00:35:49,471 that the father should step up, maybe? 480 00:35:49,537 --> 00:35:51,839 Why does Skyler get a free pass? 481 00:35:51,907 --> 00:35:54,309 You're perpetuating some serious patriarchal bullshit. 482 00:35:54,376 --> 00:35:56,811 This is not the time for a free the nipple uprising. 483 00:35:56,878 --> 00:36:00,315 Sorry, but this all started with Skyler, right? 484 00:36:01,682 --> 00:36:04,286 What am I missing? 485 00:36:04,353 --> 00:36:05,653 You've never had a boyfriend. 486 00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:07,789 You wouldn't understand. 487 00:36:17,598 --> 00:36:19,134 Ready? 488 00:36:27,775 --> 00:36:30,345 You okay? 489 00:36:30,412 --> 00:36:34,582 Uh, sure. I've just never done this on a human before. 490 00:36:37,252 --> 00:36:38,686 Uh.. 491 00:36:39,754 --> 00:36:41,823 Sorry, it's gotta reach the uterus. 492 00:36:42,824 --> 00:36:45,760 Uterotonic can induce contractions 493 00:36:45,827 --> 00:36:47,996 and ultimately labor. 494 00:36:48,063 --> 00:36:50,933 - Uh-huh. - 40cc's.. 495 00:36:52,534 --> 00:36:54,136 A little more. 496 00:36:58,273 --> 00:36:59,841 Little more. 497 00:37:03,345 --> 00:37:04,913 Oh, baby. 498 00:37:08,716 --> 00:37:10,252 Okay. 499 00:37:22,231 --> 00:37:23,932 Here we go. 500 00:38:13,549 --> 00:38:15,117 - Push! - I did. 501 00:38:15,184 --> 00:38:17,653 - Push harder! - Why didn't it work? 502 00:38:17,718 --> 00:38:19,887 - Dave! - I don't know, it should've. 503 00:38:19,955 --> 00:38:22,024 It must've hung on. 504 00:38:22,090 --> 00:38:24,759 You-you're saying it wants to stay inside? 505 00:38:24,825 --> 00:38:26,861 The uterotonic, give me more! 506 00:38:26,929 --> 00:38:29,398 - I can't! - Why not? 507 00:38:29,464 --> 00:38:31,667 Because this is dangerous stuff 508 00:38:31,732 --> 00:38:33,202 and if I gave any more 509 00:38:33,268 --> 00:38:36,271 it would risk terminating the pregnancy altogether. 510 00:38:37,906 --> 00:38:40,008 I realized what I said 511 00:38:40,075 --> 00:38:41,842 as soon as it came out of my mouth. 512 00:38:41,910 --> 00:38:43,912 I'll get some more. 513 00:38:46,615 --> 00:38:48,716 God, why would it want to stay inside? 514 00:38:48,783 --> 00:38:51,119 Maybe it's waiting for something. 515 00:38:52,287 --> 00:38:53,388 For what? 516 00:38:57,392 --> 00:38:58,627 The other guy? 517 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,077 Oh, fart. 518 00:39:15,143 --> 00:39:17,145 Hey, me and Harris, and Alyssa 519 00:39:17,212 --> 00:39:19,780 we're going down to Toto's for some margaritas! 520 00:39:19,847 --> 00:39:22,184 - Ooh! Ooh! - Are you interested? 521 00:39:22,251 --> 00:39:25,387 Oh, that sounds amazing, but I think I'm gonna go home 522 00:39:25,454 --> 00:39:27,322 and get ignored by my daughter instead. 523 00:39:30,825 --> 00:39:32,394 Alright, well, I'm gonna go get drunk. 524 00:39:32,461 --> 00:39:35,197 Okay. You have fun! 525 00:39:36,465 --> 00:39:38,166 Be safe! 526 00:39:51,380 --> 00:39:52,813 Hello? 527 00:39:53,848 --> 00:39:55,250 What? 528 00:39:56,518 --> 00:39:58,053 What? 529 00:39:59,755 --> 00:40:00,922 She's what? 530 00:40:21,543 --> 00:40:23,145 'I can't even believe you.' 531 00:40:23,211 --> 00:40:24,812 'I literally cannot believe you!' 532 00:40:24,879 --> 00:40:25,981 Mom, it's not what you think. 533 00:40:26,048 --> 00:40:27,349 After everything we talked about 534 00:40:27,416 --> 00:40:29,718 you go and you have unprotected sex? 535 00:40:29,785 --> 00:40:31,553 - You're not listening! - She did, but... 536 00:40:31,620 --> 00:40:34,022 - Stay out of this, Hayley! - It was one time! 537 00:40:34,089 --> 00:40:35,490 One's enough, Sara! 538 00:40:35,557 --> 00:40:38,093 - Obviously, forget college. - Okay, ma'am, uh... 539 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,162 Oh, you see these shows where the girl gets pregnant 540 00:40:40,228 --> 00:40:41,797 and the mom doesn't notice anything. 541 00:40:41,862 --> 00:40:43,165 How could you not notice? 542 00:40:43,231 --> 00:40:45,233 And here I am, and I didn't notice. 543 00:40:45,300 --> 00:40:47,069 How couldn't I have noticed? 544 00:40:47,135 --> 00:40:49,137 Ma'am, I need to ask the girls some questions about... 545 00:40:49,204 --> 00:40:51,173 Christ, Sare Bear. How could you do this to yourself? 546 00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:54,042 - Oh, you're one to talk. - Excuse me, young lady? 547 00:40:54,109 --> 00:40:57,145 - Don't young lady me. - We're like, 15 years apart. 548 00:40:57,212 --> 00:41:01,116 Yes, Sara, I was just like you and I screwed up my life! 549 00:41:01,183 --> 00:41:05,153 Okay, let's just, uh, downshift here for a second. 550 00:41:05,220 --> 00:41:07,222 Ah, ma'am, do you wanna step out with me? 551 00:41:07,289 --> 00:41:08,924 - But there's an alien... - Alien. Right, I know. 552 00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:10,592 Ah, I don't believe you. 553 00:41:15,197 --> 00:41:17,632 - Hi. - Uh, hi. 554 00:41:17,699 --> 00:41:19,668 You're being allowed in that room as a courtesy. 555 00:41:19,735 --> 00:41:21,470 I have your daughter at the scene of a serious crime 556 00:41:21,536 --> 00:41:23,171 and what you're doing right now, it's not helping me 557 00:41:23,238 --> 00:41:24,806 and it's definitely not helping your daughter. 558 00:41:24,872 --> 00:41:26,842 Don't, you don't get to lecture me. 559 00:41:26,908 --> 00:41:28,844 Who do you think you are, Officer Ruiz? 560 00:41:28,910 --> 00:41:31,113 You're so off base here, it's crazy! 561 00:41:34,316 --> 00:41:37,319 You know you're like, not supposed to touch me, right? 562 00:41:38,620 --> 00:41:40,888 This whole thing is effed. 563 00:41:40,956 --> 00:41:44,092 Yeah, it's kinda why 564 00:41:44,159 --> 00:41:46,528 I didn't wanna involve cops in the first place. 565 00:41:46,595 --> 00:41:50,565 It is not my fault my parents put a LoJack in my car. 566 00:41:50,632 --> 00:41:53,635 I know. Just saying. 567 00:41:59,975 --> 00:42:03,545 Sorry. It's just.. 568 00:42:03,612 --> 00:42:06,381 My mom's so up her ass. 569 00:42:06,448 --> 00:42:09,418 And hey, where does she get off yelling at you? 570 00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:15,090 She's really pulling a Water Zone 2010, huh? 571 00:42:15,157 --> 00:42:17,626 "I went to get corn dogs for you girls and you disappear? 572 00:42:17,692 --> 00:42:19,795 I had them checking the parking lot." 573 00:42:19,861 --> 00:42:23,498 "Our home base was the towels." 574 00:42:23,565 --> 00:42:25,267 You're scared right now, okay? I get it. 575 00:42:25,333 --> 00:42:27,636 You're so condescending. You have no idea what it's like! 576 00:42:27,702 --> 00:42:30,472 I have a daughter too. She's in Tampa with her mom. 577 00:42:30,539 --> 00:42:34,042 She's only five, but if I were in your shoes right now 578 00:42:34,109 --> 00:42:36,211 I would also be freaking. 579 00:42:36,278 --> 00:42:37,412 Right. 580 00:42:37,479 --> 00:42:39,080 But your daughter's scared too 581 00:42:39,147 --> 00:42:40,882 and she's fabricating all of this alien stuff 582 00:42:40,949 --> 00:42:42,717 because she doesn't wanna be judged. 583 00:42:42,784 --> 00:42:44,886 And the only way we're gonna get some answers tonight 584 00:42:44,953 --> 00:42:48,590 is if we approach the situation with understanding, okay? 585 00:42:52,461 --> 00:42:54,897 I'mma get a water. You want a water? 586 00:42:54,963 --> 00:42:57,466 I mean, your throat must be raw. 587 00:43:02,103 --> 00:43:05,040 Hey, aren't you supposed to be helping Ruiz with those girls? 588 00:43:05,106 --> 00:43:07,008 After a cigarette. 589 00:43:07,075 --> 00:43:09,377 You know he said that two cigarettes ago, right? 590 00:43:09,444 --> 00:43:12,380 - Did I? - 'This guy.' 591 00:43:30,967 --> 00:43:35,637 Sara... I... was out of line before. 592 00:43:35,704 --> 00:43:37,339 I overreacted. 593 00:43:39,341 --> 00:43:42,244 I just hate to see you making the same, ugh.. 594 00:43:43,913 --> 00:43:46,181 I'm sorry. 595 00:43:46,248 --> 00:43:48,717 Do you wanna tell me and this officer what happened? 596 00:43:56,893 --> 00:43:59,327 I got pregnant 597 00:43:59,394 --> 00:44:03,098 and what I gave birth to was an alien. 598 00:44:03,164 --> 00:44:05,001 Oh, dios mio! What happened at that clinic, okay? 599 00:44:05,066 --> 00:44:06,401 We've told you like, a million times! 600 00:44:06,468 --> 00:44:08,837 It's exactly what she said! It's exactly... 601 00:44:08,905 --> 00:44:11,506 Everyone out, I need everyone out for a second! 602 00:44:11,573 --> 00:44:13,408 - But... - Out! 603 00:44:19,147 --> 00:44:21,049 Let's go, you. 604 00:44:53,882 --> 00:44:56,217 It's just you and me now, baby. 605 00:44:57,586 --> 00:45:01,122 Now, I know you didn't hurt anyone. 606 00:45:01,189 --> 00:45:02,691 and we'll get that sorted out. 607 00:45:02,757 --> 00:45:08,163 But right now, I just wanna talk to you about you. 608 00:45:08,229 --> 00:45:09,364 Whatever you're going through... 609 00:45:09,431 --> 00:45:11,466 Mom, you have no idea 610 00:45:11,533 --> 00:45:12,902 what you're talking about. 611 00:45:12,969 --> 00:45:14,169 I know what this feels like. 612 00:45:14,235 --> 00:45:16,371 I went through the exact same thing. 613 00:45:16,438 --> 00:45:19,708 I just wanna make sure you're not punishing yourself. 614 00:45:21,911 --> 00:45:24,579 Stop trying to help me! 615 00:45:24,646 --> 00:45:26,581 I don't need an after school special. 616 00:45:26,648 --> 00:45:29,618 This is fucking worlds apart from what you went through. 617 00:45:29,684 --> 00:45:32,520 I'm not gonna end up all sad and lonely 618 00:45:32,587 --> 00:45:35,057 just, Jesus, you make me wanna scream! 619 00:45:48,803 --> 00:45:51,239 Frankie, you okay? 620 00:46:04,219 --> 00:46:05,887 Told ya. 621 00:46:12,128 --> 00:46:14,295 Sir, are you aware 622 00:46:14,362 --> 00:46:17,198 there's a lobster on your neck? 623 00:47:12,721 --> 00:47:14,990 Holding cell, lock yourselves in. 624 00:47:17,126 --> 00:47:18,793 Mom! 625 00:47:23,832 --> 00:47:26,202 Wait! Don't come in! 626 00:47:26,267 --> 00:47:28,470 - Dave? - Just don't look. 627 00:47:28,536 --> 00:47:30,505 I got nervous and had to deuce. 628 00:47:30,572 --> 00:47:33,541 - Nobody look! - No one's gonna look. 629 00:47:33,608 --> 00:47:35,610 What the hell is going on, Sara? What was that thing? 630 00:47:35,677 --> 00:47:37,879 Okay, so Sara had sex as you know, duh, whatever. 631 00:47:37,947 --> 00:47:39,714 And then that thingy came flying out of her vagina 632 00:47:39,781 --> 00:47:41,382 like a T-shirt cannon and started chasing us 633 00:47:41,449 --> 00:47:43,119 and there's a second one still inside Sara 634 00:47:43,185 --> 00:47:45,620 and the first one wants the second one for some reason. 635 00:47:45,687 --> 00:47:47,522 - Got it? - Uh, no. 636 00:47:47,589 --> 00:47:50,159 See, so maybe you should've listened earlier. 637 00:47:50,226 --> 00:47:52,460 You guys. 638 00:47:55,530 --> 00:47:56,498 What, what's wrong? 639 00:47:56,564 --> 00:47:57,933 That thingy can hop off 640 00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,235 and come in through bars. 641 00:47:59,300 --> 00:48:00,535 We need a plan. 642 00:48:00,602 --> 00:48:01,636 We don't even know what it wants. 643 00:48:01,703 --> 00:48:02,938 I've been thinking about that 644 00:48:03,005 --> 00:48:04,039 and I have a theory. 645 00:48:04,106 --> 00:48:05,640 Don't look! 646 00:48:05,707 --> 00:48:07,809 It's tracking you, right? 647 00:48:07,876 --> 00:48:09,377 Freaky deaky stuff. 648 00:48:09,444 --> 00:48:11,579 The question is, why? 649 00:48:11,646 --> 00:48:14,449 Now, this thing and its brother are communicating 650 00:48:14,516 --> 00:48:16,185 from a great distance 651 00:48:16,252 --> 00:48:19,255 some kinda sonar, like a bat. 652 00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,790 Maybe radio waves 653 00:48:21,856 --> 00:48:23,792 gamma waves? 654 00:48:23,858 --> 00:48:27,862 No, uh, it's radio waves. Probably radio waves. 655 00:48:27,930 --> 00:48:30,565 Yeah, science, science, science. It already found us, Dave. 656 00:48:30,632 --> 00:48:33,102 So, this guy inside of you is telling his buddy 657 00:48:33,169 --> 00:48:35,204 where you're at, why? 658 00:48:35,271 --> 00:48:36,906 Well, in the animal kingdom 659 00:48:36,972 --> 00:48:41,143 babies generally look to their mama for one thing. 660 00:48:41,210 --> 00:48:44,113 It wants to breastfeed? 661 00:48:44,180 --> 00:48:47,515 It more wants to feed feed 662 00:48:47,582 --> 00:48:49,952 in general on you. 663 00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:52,887 Sorry. 664 00:48:55,723 --> 00:48:59,627 - But.. - Way too long a pause, Dave. 665 00:49:01,163 --> 00:49:02,864 The uterotonic is here. 666 00:49:02,932 --> 00:49:05,867 - Utero what, what? - Mom, shut up! 667 00:49:05,935 --> 00:49:07,468 Where? 668 00:49:46,808 --> 00:49:49,878 'It's a massacre!' 669 00:49:49,945 --> 00:49:52,780 Everyone ready? 670 00:49:52,847 --> 00:49:54,250 Oh, my God! Ah! 671 00:49:59,355 --> 00:50:00,990 Ew! 672 00:50:01,056 --> 00:50:03,391 Oh, my God, you touched it, you touched it! 673 00:50:13,501 --> 00:50:15,104 Hi. 674 00:50:15,170 --> 00:50:16,804 What the hell are you guys doing here? 675 00:50:16,871 --> 00:50:19,141 We're going to get the utero thing, to, um.. 676 00:50:20,742 --> 00:50:23,544 I'm not really sure I understand actually. 677 00:50:28,449 --> 00:50:29,985 That's funny. 678 00:50:30,052 --> 00:50:31,452 Oh! 679 00:50:48,137 --> 00:50:49,704 Oh! 680 00:50:53,976 --> 00:50:56,444 Give it at least a 100cc's, ladies. 681 00:50:56,511 --> 00:50:59,315 - What're you talking about? - Get to the evidence room. 682 00:50:59,381 --> 00:51:01,250 - But... - Go! 683 00:51:08,856 --> 00:51:10,491 Groovy. 684 00:51:20,668 --> 00:51:22,137 'Uh..' 685 00:51:27,276 --> 00:51:28,911 Shit! 686 00:51:31,546 --> 00:51:34,016 Oh, God! 687 00:51:34,083 --> 00:51:35,616 Oh, shit! 688 00:51:36,584 --> 00:51:38,187 Uh.. 689 00:51:41,622 --> 00:51:43,225 'Fire, fire!' 690 00:52:23,798 --> 00:52:25,167 No! 691 00:53:57,625 --> 00:53:59,361 'Sara?' 692 00:54:01,597 --> 00:54:03,731 'Sara?' 693 00:54:05,766 --> 00:54:07,668 You awake? 694 00:54:08,470 --> 00:54:10,005 My mom. 695 00:54:11,473 --> 00:54:13,208 I don't know. 696 00:54:13,275 --> 00:54:15,444 We gotta go find her. 697 00:54:15,511 --> 00:54:17,012 Yeah.. 698 00:54:18,046 --> 00:54:20,983 ...that's why we're here. 699 00:54:30,058 --> 00:54:32,860 God, you are good at this. 700 00:54:32,928 --> 00:54:34,429 Like really good at this. 701 00:54:34,496 --> 00:54:37,332 It's just hand eye coordination from gymnastics. 702 00:54:37,399 --> 00:54:40,235 I hate it, but my mom makes me do it, whatever. 703 00:54:40,302 --> 00:54:41,970 Oh, wow. 704 00:54:42,037 --> 00:54:44,772 She'll be right back. 705 00:54:44,839 --> 00:54:46,375 - Blair. - Oh, hey! 706 00:54:46,441 --> 00:54:47,509 I told you to wait here for me. 707 00:54:47,576 --> 00:54:48,577 I was just... 708 00:54:48,644 --> 00:54:49,645 I don't care what you were just. 709 00:54:49,710 --> 00:54:51,046 Kick ass party, Kiana. 710 00:54:51,113 --> 00:54:53,848 Thanks, Jess, you're so fucking sweet. 711 00:54:53,916 --> 00:54:56,451 I love you so much. 712 00:54:56,518 --> 00:54:57,953 Skyler bailed. 713 00:54:58,020 --> 00:55:00,122 Sara obvi called him and told him to leave. 714 00:55:00,189 --> 00:55:01,822 She's so jealous, it's insane. 715 00:55:01,890 --> 00:55:03,392 Jealous of what? 716 00:55:03,458 --> 00:55:05,260 Me and Skyler's friendship. We're friends. 717 00:55:05,327 --> 00:55:06,794 We're really, really good friends. 718 00:55:06,861 --> 00:55:08,063 Like we could take a nap together and it wouldn't 719 00:55:08,130 --> 00:55:10,098 mean anything, you know what I mean? 720 00:55:10,165 --> 00:55:13,335 But Sara doesn't get that. I mean, what's her problem? 721 00:55:13,402 --> 00:55:15,037 She's ruining his life, he should be here. 722 00:55:15,103 --> 00:55:17,606 You should text him and tell him to come back. 723 00:55:17,673 --> 00:55:20,976 Jesus, Blair, he's with Sara. 724 00:55:21,043 --> 00:55:23,545 Think before you speak. 725 00:55:23,612 --> 00:55:24,980 This is all so fucked! 726 00:55:25,047 --> 00:55:26,248 Sky, can I please just talk to Hayley... 727 00:55:26,315 --> 00:55:28,716 I just saw a bunch of dead cops, Sara! 728 00:55:28,783 --> 00:55:30,219 And I'm like, freaking out! 729 00:55:30,285 --> 00:55:32,720 - She's talking about aliens? - It's complicated... 730 00:55:32,787 --> 00:55:34,990 This is like, going to jail shit, Sara. 731 00:55:35,057 --> 00:55:37,259 I need to know what's goin' on! 732 00:55:41,829 --> 00:55:44,967 - We had sex. - Yeah? 733 00:55:45,033 --> 00:55:47,169 I woke up pregnant. 734 00:55:48,670 --> 00:55:51,373 - Oh shit! - Ugh! 735 00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:52,407 Are you sure? 736 00:55:52,474 --> 00:55:54,409 Then I gave birth 737 00:55:54,476 --> 00:55:56,712 to, um.. 738 00:55:56,777 --> 00:55:59,114 ...an alien. 739 00:55:59,181 --> 00:56:01,782 - Two aliens. - Yeah. 740 00:56:02,783 --> 00:56:03,884 And they have my mom 741 00:56:03,952 --> 00:56:06,421 and I don't know where they are 742 00:56:06,488 --> 00:56:08,756 and... I don't know 743 00:56:08,823 --> 00:56:09,992 maybe the.. 744 00:56:10,058 --> 00:56:13,929 Maybe you, like, know something? 745 00:56:15,097 --> 00:56:16,999 What the fuck are you talking about? 746 00:56:17,065 --> 00:56:19,001 I know this is so much to unload on you 747 00:56:19,067 --> 00:56:20,068 and I'm not like, blaming you or anything. 748 00:56:20,135 --> 00:56:21,303 But it is definitely your fault. 749 00:56:21,370 --> 00:56:22,938 - Hayley! - What's your whole thing, man? 750 00:56:23,005 --> 00:56:24,172 - You think I'm an alien? - I don't know. 751 00:56:24,239 --> 00:56:25,340 That would make sense, right? 752 00:56:25,407 --> 00:56:26,942 You leave town and come back different. 753 00:56:27,009 --> 00:56:28,377 Hayley, he's not an alien. 754 00:56:28,443 --> 00:56:30,845 You said it yourself at Dave's, he's acting weird. 755 00:56:30,912 --> 00:56:32,381 - Hayley! - What is she talking about? 756 00:56:32,447 --> 00:56:33,649 - No, I was just... - Why are you defending him? 757 00:56:33,715 --> 00:56:34,716 I thought you wanted my help! 758 00:56:34,782 --> 00:56:37,319 Oh, my God, shut up! 759 00:56:40,855 --> 00:56:42,424 Hayley! 760 00:56:42,491 --> 00:56:46,295 Can I please just have a second with him? 761 00:57:32,107 --> 00:57:33,809 I don't know, mother, you know, maybe 762 00:57:33,874 --> 00:57:35,744 maybe I like being single, hmm? 763 00:57:35,811 --> 00:57:37,346 You ever consider that? 764 00:57:37,412 --> 00:57:39,748 After teaching all day, all I wanna do 765 00:57:39,815 --> 00:57:41,216 is just curl up with a book 766 00:57:41,283 --> 00:57:44,052 a glass of milk, an-and if I'm indulging 767 00:57:44,119 --> 00:57:45,921 yes, a cookie. 768 00:57:45,987 --> 00:57:47,789 Well, good for Florida. 769 00:57:47,855 --> 00:57:49,825 You know, but here in the real world 770 00:57:49,891 --> 00:57:51,560 things are a little different. 771 00:57:51,626 --> 00:57:54,229 I mean, it's not like I'm just gonna bump into the person 772 00:57:54,296 --> 00:57:56,498 I'm gonna spend the rest.. Oh! 773 00:57:56,565 --> 00:57:58,567 Oh, I-I am so sorry. 774 00:57:58,633 --> 00:57:59,768 I will pay for this. 775 00:57:59,835 --> 00:58:01,236 Damn it. 776 00:58:01,303 --> 00:58:02,938 Jesus! 777 00:58:08,243 --> 00:58:10,812 'No pets allowed here, lady.' 778 00:58:10,878 --> 00:58:13,281 'It's not a pet.' 779 00:58:16,385 --> 00:58:19,287 'Oh, my God! No, no!' 780 00:58:28,997 --> 00:58:32,200 Hayley's just like, looking out for me. 781 00:58:33,535 --> 00:58:34,903 It's cool. 782 00:58:36,605 --> 00:58:38,240 Yeah, so.. 783 00:58:39,741 --> 00:58:41,209 ...like.. 784 00:58:41,943 --> 00:58:44,813 ...do you know anything? 785 00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:47,382 No, obviously! 786 00:58:47,449 --> 00:58:48,984 Okay. 787 00:59:11,573 --> 00:59:14,543 - What're you doing? - I'm consoling you. 788 00:59:14,609 --> 00:59:17,345 No, no, seriously, something is going on with you. 789 00:59:17,412 --> 00:59:20,115 I'm just trying to be supportive, God! 790 00:59:20,182 --> 00:59:22,417 You need to tell me what happened in Mexico. 791 00:59:22,484 --> 00:59:24,519 Nothing, I just chilled poolside 792 00:59:24,586 --> 00:59:26,923 did that bullshit Spanish assignment. 793 00:59:26,988 --> 00:59:29,424 - Sipped Pina Coladas. - That's it? 794 00:59:36,031 --> 00:59:38,333 - What is that thing? - It's a souvenir thing. 795 00:59:38,400 --> 00:59:41,503 It's nothing, okay? You're just overreacting. 796 00:59:44,005 --> 00:59:46,675 I'm just trying to help. 797 00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:50,579 I know, I just.. 798 00:59:51,780 --> 00:59:54,316 ...I wanted you to have answers. 799 01:00:00,255 --> 01:00:02,624 I'm gonna get you some tissues. 800 01:00:14,169 --> 01:00:16,171 He's trying to help. 801 01:01:04,419 --> 01:01:07,756 That piece of shit, I knew it! 802 01:01:07,822 --> 01:01:09,624 You called him out on that thing and he freaked. 803 01:01:09,691 --> 01:01:11,560 It's gotta mean something. 804 01:01:11,626 --> 01:01:15,163 Well, you really heard everything, huh? 805 01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:19,534 It's a really thin door. 806 01:01:21,003 --> 01:01:22,537 So, what do we do? 807 01:01:22,604 --> 01:01:26,408 He mentioned his summer homework, whatever. 808 01:01:26,909 --> 01:01:28,743 Right? 809 01:01:30,278 --> 01:01:32,747 Senorita Thompson thinks he has dyslexia 810 01:01:32,814 --> 01:01:35,250 so he's allowed to make a video essay, I don't know. 811 01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:37,118 Oh, so maybe there's something about that thing 812 01:01:37,185 --> 01:01:39,387 on his computer. 813 01:01:39,454 --> 01:01:42,190 Yeah, that's what I'm looking for. 814 01:01:42,257 --> 01:01:44,426 Yeah, no, I.. 815 01:01:46,929 --> 01:01:48,463 Yeah. 816 01:01:50,265 --> 01:01:51,366 Just get it together, bro. 817 01:01:51,433 --> 01:01:53,301 Just get outta dodge. 818 01:01:53,368 --> 01:01:55,837 You're fine. 819 01:02:00,475 --> 01:02:01,443 'Favorite hits' 820 01:02:01,509 --> 01:02:02,744 'that was The Funkosexuals' 821 01:02:02,811 --> 01:02:04,779 'with "Let's Funk", stick around.' 822 01:02:04,846 --> 01:02:08,416 'This next one's guaranteed to get you all moist.' 823 01:02:08,483 --> 01:02:12,955 'Mattress so soft and warm.' 824 01:02:13,022 --> 01:02:14,756 'Mm.' 825 01:02:17,325 --> 01:02:19,895 'Pondering Mind on KCEW' 826 01:02:19,962 --> 01:02:24,199 'with me today is novelist, poet, political activist' 827 01:02:24,265 --> 01:02:26,167 'and former adult film star..' 828 01:02:26,234 --> 01:02:28,536 Oh, come on! 829 01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:39,314 Yeah, there's nothing in his dad's study either 830 01:02:39,381 --> 01:02:40,950 just a bunch of signed U2 posters. 831 01:02:41,017 --> 01:02:42,952 Couldn't leave it alone, could you? 832 01:02:43,019 --> 01:02:46,354 Just, just needling him, Jesus. 833 01:02:46,421 --> 01:02:48,156 What're we talking about right now? 834 01:02:48,223 --> 01:02:51,927 My mom's out there somewhere with fucking aliens, Hayley 835 01:02:51,994 --> 01:02:54,096 and you just scared off our only chance of finding her. 836 01:02:54,162 --> 01:02:55,597 Wait! Hold up, you're blaming me? 837 01:02:55,664 --> 01:02:56,932 I mean, you kept going after him. 838 01:02:56,999 --> 01:02:58,034 What did you expect to happen? 839 01:02:58,100 --> 01:02:59,834 Sara, Skyler left 840 01:02:59,902 --> 01:03:02,237 'because he couldn't man up and take responsibility' 841 01:03:02,303 --> 01:03:03,939 but we'll figure this out, okay? 842 01:03:04,006 --> 01:03:06,574 How? How, how do we fix this? 843 01:03:06,641 --> 01:03:10,345 I don't know, but we can.. I don't know, we'll, we'll... 844 01:03:10,412 --> 01:03:12,247 Skyler was the answer and now he's gone! 845 01:03:12,313 --> 01:03:13,548 - That's what I've been... - And it's ruined! 846 01:03:13,615 --> 01:03:15,850 Forget Skyler. 847 01:03:15,918 --> 01:03:18,319 We have made it this far by ourselves, right? 848 01:03:18,386 --> 01:03:21,589 - We will find a solution. - Oh, my God. 849 01:03:21,656 --> 01:03:23,758 Are you like, so naive that you think 850 01:03:23,825 --> 01:03:26,929 we're just gonna go back to being best friends? 851 01:03:26,996 --> 01:03:29,664 Is that why you've been trying to break me and Skyler up? 852 01:03:29,731 --> 01:03:31,766 So you can like, win me back? 853 01:03:31,833 --> 01:03:35,004 What are you talking about? This is insane! 854 01:03:35,071 --> 01:03:37,472 I've spent this whole night trying to help you. 855 01:03:37,539 --> 01:03:40,575 And you love it, every second of it 856 01:03:40,642 --> 01:03:42,277 making me feel like shit. 857 01:03:42,343 --> 01:03:43,778 "This is why you wear a condom. 858 01:03:43,845 --> 01:03:46,015 You really should make better life choices." 859 01:03:46,082 --> 01:03:47,615 Well, you should. Sorry. 860 01:03:47,682 --> 01:03:49,919 You understand this is why we're not friends, right? 861 01:03:49,985 --> 01:03:52,088 We're not friends 'cause you ditched me sophomore year 862 01:03:52,154 --> 01:03:53,288 when you got boobs before me. 863 01:03:53,354 --> 01:03:54,456 No, we're not friends 864 01:03:54,522 --> 01:03:57,093 'cause you're a judgy bitch. 865 01:03:57,159 --> 01:03:58,326 I'm gonna be honest with you 866 01:03:58,393 --> 01:04:00,361 because you can't do it for yourself. 867 01:04:00,428 --> 01:04:02,564 If you were not so obsessed 868 01:04:02,630 --> 01:04:03,865 with keeping your fake ass world spinning 869 01:04:03,933 --> 01:04:06,634 and had one ounce of self-respect 870 01:04:06,701 --> 01:04:08,369 this whole night would've never happened 871 01:04:08,436 --> 01:04:11,006 and your mom wouldn't be dead. 872 01:04:16,011 --> 01:04:17,879 I don't need this shit. 873 01:05:30,351 --> 01:05:32,787 You found it. 874 01:05:32,854 --> 01:05:36,025 I'm waiting on this idiot driver. 875 01:05:39,494 --> 01:05:43,065 It's locked so.. 876 01:05:47,569 --> 01:05:51,372 My brother does like, tech stuff 877 01:05:51,439 --> 01:05:54,576 for this home security company, you know. 878 01:05:54,642 --> 01:05:56,778 Do you think he'd help? 879 01:06:00,216 --> 01:06:01,749 Okay. 880 01:06:03,018 --> 01:06:04,519 Thanks. 881 01:06:08,423 --> 01:06:10,059 Car's outside. 882 01:07:09,318 --> 01:07:11,519 Madre Vista Police Department. 883 01:07:16,191 --> 01:07:20,896 Well, if it isn't the two biggest nerds in Madre Vista. 884 01:07:20,963 --> 01:07:23,564 You literally have tape on your glasses. 885 01:07:23,631 --> 01:07:25,733 Yeah, on the side, it's different. 886 01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:27,669 - Oh, okay. - Oh, okay. 887 01:07:27,735 --> 01:07:29,972 - Oh, okay. - Oh, okay. 888 01:07:30,039 --> 01:07:31,873 - Idiot! - Idiot! 889 01:07:37,313 --> 01:07:38,780 - Whose is it? - Jerome. 890 01:07:38,846 --> 01:07:42,550 - My ex's. - Mm-hmm. 891 01:07:43,118 --> 01:07:44,920 Revenge. 892 01:07:46,021 --> 01:07:48,290 Tell me about this dude. He's right here? 893 01:07:48,357 --> 01:07:52,460 - Yeah, Skyler Cole. - Ugh, sounds like a douche. 894 01:07:52,527 --> 01:07:54,330 - Water polo? - Lacrosse. 895 01:07:54,396 --> 01:07:55,863 Hmm. 896 01:07:58,400 --> 01:08:00,535 Are you like, hacking into it? 897 01:08:00,601 --> 01:08:01,904 No, I'm guessing his password. 898 01:08:01,971 --> 01:08:04,539 It's usually some combo of farts and boobs 899 01:08:04,605 --> 01:08:07,209 and yeah, boobfart69. 900 01:08:08,978 --> 01:08:10,412 Oh, shit, okay. 901 01:08:10,478 --> 01:08:13,148 Oh, uh, wh-whoa! 902 01:08:13,215 --> 01:08:14,350 Oh, shit! 903 01:08:14,416 --> 01:08:15,850 Uh, shit! 904 01:08:23,425 --> 01:08:25,227 That was pornography. 905 01:08:38,907 --> 01:08:41,609 Oh, my God. 906 01:08:41,676 --> 01:08:45,613 Hola Senorita Thompson, from Mexico. 907 01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:48,050 I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart 908 01:08:48,117 --> 01:08:50,785 for allowing me to do this extra credit assignment 909 01:08:50,852 --> 01:08:53,521 despite my crippling dyslexia. 910 01:08:53,588 --> 01:08:57,026 I deserve an Ah in your class. 911 01:08:59,094 --> 01:09:00,062 I know. 912 01:09:06,768 --> 01:09:09,004 Chilling poolside with my lame ass dad. 913 01:09:09,071 --> 01:09:12,874 Get some pina coladas! Emilio, chicken fingers. 914 01:09:12,941 --> 01:09:14,742 Let's just.. 915 01:09:23,452 --> 01:09:25,586 - Wait! - Antique Mayan sword. 916 01:09:25,653 --> 01:09:26,989 A macuahuitl. 917 01:09:27,056 --> 01:09:29,224 It was basically used by the ancient Mayans 918 01:09:29,291 --> 01:09:32,227 to fight off their enemies, not only physical 919 01:09:32,294 --> 01:09:34,196 but also spiritual. 920 01:09:34,263 --> 01:09:35,730 'The lady my dad bought this from' 921 01:09:35,797 --> 01:09:37,900 'says it possesses great power' 922 01:09:37,966 --> 01:09:41,669 maybe even derived from an ancient spirit. 923 01:09:43,838 --> 01:09:47,509 It's leading me, I-I-I can't control it! 924 01:09:47,575 --> 01:09:48,977 Skyler, what the fuck are you doing? 925 01:09:49,044 --> 01:09:51,547 - Get out of here, get out! - I'm sorry. 926 01:09:51,612 --> 01:09:55,551 - Come on, I'm taking a shit! - 'I'm going away, going away.' 927 01:09:55,616 --> 01:10:00,289 Whoa, whoa, um, I can't! Oh! 928 01:10:00,355 --> 01:10:03,892 Dad, I really, I can't control it! I can't control it! 929 01:10:03,959 --> 01:10:05,160 Give it! 930 01:10:13,469 --> 01:10:14,570 Wait! 931 01:10:14,635 --> 01:10:15,636 My parents dragged me to this 932 01:10:15,703 --> 01:10:17,306 museum of anthropology 933 01:10:17,372 --> 01:10:19,108 so, here I am 934 01:10:19,174 --> 01:10:21,776 learning during the summer, like an idiot. 935 01:10:21,843 --> 01:10:23,212 As you can see this room is filled 936 01:10:23,278 --> 01:10:26,081 with various artifacts of an expressive nature. 937 01:10:26,148 --> 01:10:27,950 'Some of which anthropologists believe' 938 01:10:28,016 --> 01:10:29,918 to be devoted to fertility. 939 01:10:31,353 --> 01:10:34,256 This is the most amazing art I've ever seen. 940 01:10:37,092 --> 01:10:41,363 The Mayans were geniuses, and this is in a museum. 941 01:10:41,430 --> 01:10:44,866 I mean, the level of detail. 942 01:10:45,567 --> 01:10:47,735 Whoa! 943 01:10:47,802 --> 01:10:51,540 Now, I'm Mayan too. Ooh, yeah! 944 01:10:51,607 --> 01:10:53,609 - No. - Whoo! 945 01:10:53,674 --> 01:10:55,244 'Fuck!' 946 01:10:55,944 --> 01:10:58,413 Okay, okay, okay. 947 01:10:58,480 --> 01:11:01,350 Okay, that's okay, that's okay. 948 01:11:01,416 --> 01:11:03,018 I'll just.. 949 01:11:08,524 --> 01:11:11,759 'Now if you can exit this way, you'll find yourself..' 950 01:11:15,464 --> 01:11:17,665 Oh, my God. 951 01:11:35,484 --> 01:11:37,785 Oh, Lord. 952 01:11:38,520 --> 01:11:40,189 Psst. 953 01:11:46,028 --> 01:11:47,629 - Thank you, thank you officer. - It's inside? 954 01:11:47,695 --> 01:11:50,332 - I-I-I don't, I don't know. - Alright, that's okay. 955 01:11:50,399 --> 01:11:51,866 Can you tell me what happened in there? 956 01:11:51,934 --> 01:11:53,669 I mean, what's all the pink stuff? 957 01:11:53,734 --> 01:11:57,372 I-I-I'm a li-little frazzled. 958 01:11:57,439 --> 01:11:59,641 Okay, um 959 01:11:59,707 --> 01:12:01,410 is there anything you wanna tell me 960 01:12:01,476 --> 01:12:03,278 before I go in there? 961 01:12:04,246 --> 01:12:06,682 I'll never forget the screams. 962 01:12:09,685 --> 01:12:12,720 Okay, okay. 963 01:13:20,055 --> 01:13:22,491 Well, that's not great. 964 01:13:32,534 --> 01:13:34,269 What the hell is that? 965 01:13:34,336 --> 01:13:38,540 I think this thing says your baby boy is growing up. 966 01:13:38,607 --> 01:13:41,076 Great. 967 01:13:41,143 --> 01:13:42,377 What's next, Skyler? 968 01:13:42,444 --> 01:13:44,980 Go sit down, your mother and I are not ready. 969 01:13:48,583 --> 01:13:50,385 Oh, another one! 970 01:13:53,055 --> 01:13:55,823 'They're fighting each other.' 971 01:13:55,891 --> 01:13:57,426 Wait. 972 01:13:59,127 --> 01:14:02,264 They're not fighting.. 973 01:14:02,331 --> 01:14:04,032 '...they're...' 974 01:14:04,099 --> 01:14:09,071 - Fucking. - I think it's a girl. 975 01:14:09,137 --> 01:14:11,540 - 'She's gonna get...' - Pregnant. 976 01:14:12,574 --> 01:14:14,343 This is gonna spread. 977 01:14:14,409 --> 01:14:16,511 But whoever drew these things beat the thingies 978 01:14:16,578 --> 01:14:18,980 because they were alive at the end, right? 979 01:14:19,047 --> 01:14:23,518 They made this, like, Ikea manual for how to win. 980 01:14:23,585 --> 01:14:25,853 If there's anymore drawings. 981 01:14:27,656 --> 01:14:29,391 Oh, there! 982 01:14:37,865 --> 01:14:41,470 - Don't love that. - No. 983 01:14:41,536 --> 01:14:44,339 The female's turning into a giant spider thingy 984 01:14:44,406 --> 01:14:45,907 and our only solution is to, like 985 01:14:45,974 --> 01:14:48,810 torch everything and kill everyone? 986 01:14:48,876 --> 01:14:50,878 My mom doesn't stand a chance. 987 01:14:52,481 --> 01:14:55,851 The girl is turning into a spider monster thingy. 988 01:14:55,917 --> 01:14:58,387 If it's in its cocoon, i-it's parked somewhere 989 01:14:58,453 --> 01:15:00,555 and if we find the cocoon, we find your mom 990 01:15:00,622 --> 01:15:04,192 and we just kill these thingies before they eff, boom! 991 01:15:04,259 --> 01:15:06,895 Yeah, but, how are we supposed to find the cocoon? 992 01:15:06,962 --> 01:15:09,731 Ah, shit! Ow! 993 01:15:09,798 --> 01:15:11,666 Dammit that burns, that burns! 994 01:15:11,733 --> 01:15:14,336 That burns, that burns. 995 01:15:14,403 --> 01:15:16,872 'Interesting. Yes, they have, sir.' 996 01:15:16,938 --> 01:15:19,074 Thank you very much, Mr. Harrington. 997 01:15:21,510 --> 01:15:23,044 So.. 998 01:15:24,813 --> 01:15:27,482 There have been a few alarms that have gone off tonight. 999 01:15:27,549 --> 01:15:30,419 Some around the clinic, some around that farm 1000 01:15:30,485 --> 01:15:32,821 and some at that the police station. 1001 01:15:32,888 --> 01:15:33,855 Told you! 1002 01:15:33,922 --> 01:15:35,424 But.. 1003 01:15:35,490 --> 01:15:38,326 ...there haven't been any in the passed few hours. 1004 01:15:38,393 --> 01:15:39,428 What the hell? 1005 01:15:39,494 --> 01:15:42,497 Is that normal for this time of night? 1006 01:15:42,564 --> 01:15:47,636 Yeah, totally. I mean... yeah. 1007 01:15:47,702 --> 01:15:49,171 What? 1008 01:15:49,938 --> 01:15:52,274 Nothing, nothing. 1009 01:15:53,542 --> 01:15:55,444 - What was it? You idiot! - 'It's nothing!' 1010 01:15:55,510 --> 01:15:57,279 There's just one place that hasn't set their alarm 1011 01:15:57,345 --> 01:15:59,714 at closing and they usually do. 1012 01:16:32,180 --> 01:16:33,348 Sorry, the store is closed. 1013 01:16:33,415 --> 01:16:34,649 Please, just never call here again. 1014 01:16:34,716 --> 01:16:36,852 Hello? 1015 01:16:36,919 --> 01:16:38,854 - Hello? - Oscar? 1016 01:16:38,921 --> 01:16:41,289 - Sara? - You're alive? 1017 01:16:41,356 --> 01:16:44,593 Oh, yeah, you too? Yay! 1018 01:16:44,659 --> 01:16:46,027 Wait, is that the cop from the barns? 1019 01:16:46,094 --> 01:16:48,630 - Shut up, Jerome! - Who's Jerome? 1020 01:16:48,697 --> 01:16:49,998 It doesn't matter. 1021 01:16:50,065 --> 01:16:51,399 - Is my mom there? - Is your mom there? 1022 01:16:51,466 --> 01:16:54,236 - Wait, what? - She's not there with you? 1023 01:16:54,302 --> 01:16:56,304 I don't know, she's, uh.. 1024 01:17:01,610 --> 01:17:04,713 We'll take my car. If we do this, we go hard. 1025 01:17:04,779 --> 01:17:07,482 I can't have you guys chickening out at the last second. 1026 01:17:08,985 --> 01:17:10,685 Oh, you two little shit.. 1027 01:17:22,899 --> 01:17:26,903 Just so you know, I wasn't gonna shoot the propane. Bad idea. 1028 01:17:26,969 --> 01:17:28,770 I-I didn't even know that you were in there, obviously 1029 01:17:28,837 --> 01:17:30,405 because then.. 1030 01:17:35,343 --> 01:17:37,479 Well, it wouldn't have killed her. 1031 01:17:40,448 --> 01:17:42,584 Wouldn't have killed her. 1032 01:17:44,119 --> 01:17:46,254 She's gonna be okay. 1033 01:17:52,460 --> 01:17:53,762 Oh! 1034 01:18:25,027 --> 01:18:26,861 What the hell? 1035 01:18:55,490 --> 01:18:58,860 No, no, I-I don't understand. 1036 01:19:01,363 --> 01:19:04,265 Those things are out there 1037 01:19:04,332 --> 01:19:07,135 and they're gonna eff and we're screwed. 1038 01:19:08,536 --> 01:19:10,906 You work your whole life to get in a college 1039 01:19:10,973 --> 01:19:14,643 an-and the world just ends. 1040 01:19:15,610 --> 01:19:18,146 And it doesn't even matter. 1041 01:19:20,548 --> 01:19:24,519 Oh, my God, I have never been to Japan. 1042 01:19:24,586 --> 01:19:26,855 Holy shit! 1043 01:19:30,059 --> 01:19:33,828 What do these thingies need to complete their life cycle? 1044 01:19:33,896 --> 01:19:35,330 High school hotties? 1045 01:19:35,397 --> 01:19:37,198 They need people to eff, right? 1046 01:19:37,265 --> 01:19:38,433 - Right? - Okay. 1047 01:19:38,500 --> 01:19:39,834 So we know they're looking for sex 1048 01:19:39,902 --> 01:19:41,169 'like, a lot of sex.' 1049 01:19:41,236 --> 01:19:42,837 They're out there right now sniffing around 1050 01:19:42,905 --> 01:19:45,407 fo-for pheromones or gamma rays or whatever 1051 01:19:45,473 --> 01:19:47,842 all leading to like.. 1052 01:19:47,910 --> 01:19:51,713 - An orgy? - Yeah! Kind of. 1053 01:19:51,780 --> 01:19:54,349 Well, where are we gonna find an orgy in Madre Vista? 1054 01:19:54,416 --> 01:19:56,584 You mean like a big, sweaty group of people 1055 01:19:56,651 --> 01:19:58,853 ready to go to the bone zone? 1056 01:20:00,321 --> 01:20:03,125 - Kiana's party! - There's a party? 1057 01:20:03,191 --> 01:20:05,260 Oh, yeah, sorry. 1058 01:20:05,326 --> 01:20:06,628 No, it's cool, but, oh, shit! 1059 01:20:06,695 --> 01:20:07,862 Kiana's party, that's gotta be it. 1060 01:20:07,930 --> 01:20:09,264 We don't have a lot of time 1061 01:20:09,330 --> 01:20:10,799 if the whole party gets gassed we'll have 100 1062 01:20:10,865 --> 01:20:14,003 Skyler level horndogs making 200 thingies and.. 1063 01:20:14,070 --> 01:20:16,438 Math will happen. 1064 01:20:16,504 --> 01:20:19,441 So, the plan is, get to Kiana's. 1065 01:20:19,507 --> 01:20:21,376 - Evacuate the party. - Take out the thingies. 1066 01:20:21,443 --> 01:20:24,646 - Stop the baby gas. - Save my mom. 1067 01:20:24,713 --> 01:20:27,083 Save the world. 1068 01:20:27,149 --> 01:20:28,918 Shit, yeah. 1069 01:21:14,329 --> 01:21:16,899 - Wait, wait, wait! - What? 1070 01:21:24,639 --> 01:21:26,374 Your butt's kinda hanging out. 1071 01:21:26,441 --> 01:21:28,978 Oh, thanks. 1072 01:21:35,550 --> 01:21:37,752 - Shall we? Okay. - Yep. 1073 01:21:47,562 --> 01:21:49,330 Uh.. 1074 01:21:53,635 --> 01:21:55,037 Aliens! 1075 01:21:59,975 --> 01:22:01,876 Aliens are coming! 1076 01:22:04,246 --> 01:22:06,881 Um, cops! 1077 01:22:06,949 --> 01:22:08,683 Cops, yes! 1078 01:22:08,750 --> 01:22:12,154 Guys, guys, we gotta bail! 5-0 rolling up any minute. 1079 01:22:12,221 --> 01:22:13,521 No, they're not. 1080 01:22:13,588 --> 01:22:14,656 The neighbors have been calling 'em all night. 1081 01:22:14,722 --> 01:22:16,357 But they haven't shown up yet. 1082 01:22:16,424 --> 01:22:18,860 Probably 'cause they're busy jerking it. 1083 01:22:18,928 --> 01:22:21,863 Cody, shut the fuck up! 1084 01:22:21,931 --> 01:22:23,431 Okay, alright, yeah. 1085 01:22:23,498 --> 01:22:26,434 They're not coming because they're all dead. 1086 01:22:26,501 --> 01:22:29,104 - Whoo! - Whoo! 1087 01:22:29,171 --> 01:22:30,438 No, just, ugh. 1088 01:22:30,505 --> 01:22:32,107 Everyone needs to get out of here. 1089 01:22:32,174 --> 01:22:33,943 Where's Kiana? 1090 01:22:43,351 --> 01:22:46,088 Oh, you idiot. 1091 01:22:47,555 --> 01:22:49,892 - Did you finish? - Good knocking, asshole. 1092 01:22:49,959 --> 01:22:51,593 - Sara? - Did you finish? 1093 01:22:51,659 --> 01:22:54,263 - I thought you weren't coming! - I don't care, Kiana. 1094 01:22:54,330 --> 01:22:57,266 Skyler, did you finish? 1095 01:22:57,333 --> 01:22:59,367 No, Sara, I didn't finish, alright? 1096 01:22:59,434 --> 01:23:01,904 So can you get out? 1097 01:23:01,971 --> 01:23:05,274 What the hell, Sara? 1098 01:23:05,341 --> 01:23:06,942 Okay, seriously, everyone needs to get out of here. 1099 01:23:07,009 --> 01:23:09,611 What are you doing? You're being a crazy person. 1100 01:23:09,677 --> 01:23:11,146 He doesn't like you, Kiana. 1101 01:23:11,213 --> 01:23:13,048 He's just turning into some kinda sex freak. 1102 01:23:13,115 --> 01:23:14,749 Come on, this energy's so right. 1103 01:23:14,816 --> 01:23:16,318 Let's just do it in front of everyone! 1104 01:23:16,384 --> 01:23:19,255 You are all junked up with alien sex gas, you idiot. 1105 01:23:19,321 --> 01:23:21,190 Hi, who the fuck are you again? 1106 01:23:21,257 --> 01:23:23,458 She's with me. 1107 01:23:23,524 --> 01:23:27,662 Forget about them. Kiana, I love you. 1108 01:23:30,398 --> 01:23:32,067 Well, fine! 1109 01:23:32,134 --> 01:23:34,904 Sara, babe, I'm sorry. 1110 01:23:34,970 --> 01:23:36,205 Let's just do it. 1111 01:23:36,272 --> 01:23:37,239 It'll be like old times 1112 01:23:37,306 --> 01:23:38,773 in front of all of these people. 1113 01:23:40,309 --> 01:23:43,178 This is why we broke up in the first place. 1114 01:23:43,245 --> 01:23:44,712 I'm sick of begging! 1115 01:23:44,779 --> 01:23:47,515 Somebody better fuck me right.. 1116 01:23:51,353 --> 01:23:53,956 Skyler! 1117 01:23:54,023 --> 01:23:55,891 Okay, truth bomb. 1118 01:23:55,958 --> 01:23:59,094 I had sex for the first time the other night. 1119 01:23:59,161 --> 01:24:00,628 Okay, yeah, whatever. 1120 01:24:00,695 --> 01:24:03,933 The point is I gave birth tonight. 1121 01:24:03,999 --> 01:24:08,569 Yeah, and what I gave birth to was fucking aliens. 1122 01:24:10,471 --> 01:24:12,740 One hundred percent not playing, okay. 1123 01:24:12,807 --> 01:24:14,542 So seriously, everyone needs to clear out 1124 01:24:14,609 --> 01:24:16,544 because they are coming.. 1125 01:24:18,513 --> 01:24:20,448 ...right.. 1126 01:24:21,984 --> 01:24:23,152 ...now! 1127 01:24:39,500 --> 01:24:41,769 Ugh, Kiana. 1128 01:24:41,836 --> 01:24:43,939 Now I'm gonna have to kick your ass. 1129 01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:21,576 No problem, man. 1130 01:26:09,224 --> 01:26:10,526 Whoa. 1131 01:26:22,737 --> 01:26:24,273 No, no, no, no! 1132 01:26:31,914 --> 01:26:34,149 Just so you know, I had no idea about Skyler 1133 01:26:34,216 --> 01:26:37,553 and I really value our friendship. 1134 01:26:37,618 --> 01:26:40,456 I'm too high to move! 1135 01:27:07,382 --> 01:27:08,984 Um.. 1136 01:27:23,731 --> 01:27:25,434 Hayley? 1137 01:27:30,239 --> 01:27:31,974 Hayley? 1138 01:28:38,706 --> 01:28:40,442 So, what's our plan? 1139 01:28:41,476 --> 01:28:44,379 Save my mom, save the world. 1140 01:28:44,446 --> 01:28:47,782 You're not going by yourself, you could die. 1141 01:28:48,883 --> 01:28:50,319 Maybe. 1142 01:28:52,187 --> 01:28:54,722 But I'm the one who started all this. 1143 01:28:57,326 --> 01:28:58,994 Sara! 1144 01:29:50,145 --> 01:29:51,413 Mom! 1145 01:29:52,281 --> 01:29:54,116 Sara? 1146 01:30:12,534 --> 01:30:14,403 I'm so sorry, mom. 1147 01:30:14,469 --> 01:30:15,803 Oh, Sare Bear. 1148 01:30:15,870 --> 01:30:18,173 You have nothing to be sorry about. 1149 01:30:21,777 --> 01:30:23,278 Uh.. 1150 01:30:27,683 --> 01:30:29,284 Uh.. 1151 01:30:32,688 --> 01:30:34,589 Okay. 1152 01:30:34,656 --> 01:30:36,391 Let's just.. 1153 01:30:42,764 --> 01:30:44,832 Okay, okay. 1154 01:31:19,434 --> 01:31:21,169 Oh, shit! 1155 01:31:24,606 --> 01:31:26,341 Oh, shit! 1156 01:32:23,832 --> 01:32:26,101 Plan B! 1157 01:32:40,882 --> 01:32:43,452 - What's up? - Sup? 1158 01:32:59,134 --> 01:33:02,137 'I'm just saying, you deserve a little more vacation' 1159 01:33:02,204 --> 01:33:04,339 okay, daddy, take a few days 1160 01:33:04,406 --> 01:33:06,608 take a week even, I'll be fine. 1161 01:33:06,675 --> 01:33:08,376 Take a month. 1162 01:33:08,443 --> 01:33:11,880 No, I know you can't actually take a month. 1163 01:33:11,948 --> 01:33:14,783 My gymnastics career is ruined. 1164 01:33:14,850 --> 01:33:17,285 My mom is gonna be so angry. 1165 01:33:22,090 --> 01:33:24,559 Is it over? 1166 01:33:24,626 --> 01:33:26,661 Hey, hey, is it over? 1167 01:33:26,728 --> 01:33:29,197 - Oh, hey. - Hi. 1168 01:33:29,264 --> 01:33:31,233 Listen, d-do you wanna go out with me? 1169 01:33:31,299 --> 01:33:33,335 - Yeah. Uh, yeah. - Yeah? 1170 01:33:33,401 --> 01:33:35,704 I realize this is probably an awkward time to be doing this. 1171 01:33:35,770 --> 01:33:37,305 'Also, I crashed my car' 1172 01:33:37,372 --> 01:33:39,875 'it's kinda hard to drive with one eye.' 1173 01:33:39,942 --> 01:33:44,513 So, this is what parties are like? 1174 01:33:44,579 --> 01:33:48,350 Yeah, but the monsters are usually way bigger. 76404

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