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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
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2
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,094
Hiya, wall.
3
00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:47,523
Well, what's wrong with that?
4
00:02:48,453 --> 00:02:51,394
There's a woman 3 doors
down talks to her microwave.
5
00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:55,845
Talking to a microwave!
Wall, what's the world coming to?
6
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:03,132
I know, I'm wicked, aren't I? ...drinking.
7
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,032
I like a glass of wine
when I'm doing the cooking.
8
00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,401
Don't I, wall?
9
00:03:09,602 --> 00:03:13,724
Don't I like a glass of wine when
I'm preparing the evening meal?
10
00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,577
Chips n' egg.
11
00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:22,652
Oh, God!
12
00:03:24,546 --> 00:03:27,711
What'll he be like, eh, wall,... my fella?
13
00:03:28,611 --> 00:03:29,920
What'll he be like when he finds out,
14
00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:32,639
he's only getting chips n' egg for his tea?
15
00:03:33,635 --> 00:03:35,773
Well, it's Thursday, you see,
16
00:03:35,874 --> 00:03:39,900
and when it's Thursday it has to be steak.
It's The 11th Commandment.
17
00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,410
Moses declared it:
18
00:03:41,507 --> 00:03:45,848
"Though shalt give thy fella steak every Thursday,"
19
00:03:46,147 --> 00:03:50,749
"and if though doesn't, thy fella will
have one big gob on him all night long."
20
00:03:51,939 --> 00:03:54,973
I wouldn't mind, it's not even
my bloody fault about the steak.
21
00:03:55,362 --> 00:03:58,303
You see, this morning, Gillian came 'round.
22
00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,121
I don't normally have much to do with Gillian.
23
00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:05,594
I'm not saying she's a bragger,
but if you've been to Paradise,
24
00:04:05,696 --> 00:04:08,545
she's got a season ticket.
She's that type Gillian, you know...
25
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,356
If you've got a headache,
she's got a brain tumour.
26
00:04:14,464 --> 00:04:17,334
Oh, hello, Shirley. It appears your bell isn't working.
27
00:04:17,441 --> 00:04:19,580
Do you think perhaps there's
something wrong with it?
28
00:04:19,682 --> 00:04:22,812
That's how she talks, Gillian.
You know, she begrudges you the breathe.
29
00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,509
I dunno. There must be a power-cut.
30
00:04:24,737 --> 00:04:28,215
Ah, well, there you see,
Eric and I have installed solar energy.
31
00:04:28,513 --> 00:04:30,975
Now, we would never be
caught out by a power failure.
32
00:04:31,073 --> 00:04:34,783
Shirley, I've come to ask a favour.
Can you come over for a minute?
33
00:04:35,105 --> 00:04:36,631
Oh yeah, yeah, sure.
34
00:04:41,791 --> 00:04:44,858
You see, Eric and I have to
go away for a couple of days.
35
00:04:44,961 --> 00:04:48,538
Eric's doing a paper in Brussels.
Bloody Brussels!
36
00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:52,383
I said to him, why couldn't it
have been Paris, or even Amsterdam?
37
00:04:52,449 --> 00:04:56,927
- I really find Brussels such a bore.
- Yeah, must be,... all those sprouts.
38
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,094
I made arrangements for
mummy to feed Claymore,
39
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:01,470
but she finds now, she can't do this evening.
40
00:05:01,855 --> 00:05:03,895
So, if you could manage...
41
00:05:04,031 --> 00:05:05,942
Now, we keep Claymore's food in here.
42
00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:08,119
Now, it's terribly simple, Shirley.
43
00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:11,900
You simply mix his muesli
with about half a pint of milk.
44
00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:13,209
- Doesn't he have meat?
45
00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:16,827
- Oh, Shirley, we haven't had
meat in this house for years!
46
00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,518
Didn't you know we'd become vegans?
47
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,210
No, I thought you were still Church of England.
48
00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:26,621
Now, it's one bowl, Shirley...
One bowl, twice a day.
49
00:05:26,752 --> 00:05:30,102
Claymore loves his muesli,
don't you, Clay darling?
50
00:05:30,974 --> 00:05:33,079
A vegetarian bloodhound!
51
00:05:34,111 --> 00:05:38,427
Come on, that's it, Claymore darling.
There... hmm?
52
00:05:38,751 --> 00:05:43,514
Oh, Claymore darling, it's your favourite!
53
00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:45,660
I hope you're not sick.
54
00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:49,140
You only had to take one look at that
dog to see it was well and truly sick...
55
00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,838
Sick of the sight of muesli!
56
00:05:50,878 --> 00:05:55,902
Awww, you're off your food?
Because mummy was 5 minutes late with it...
57
00:05:56,509 --> 00:05:58,103
Is that it?
58
00:05:58,206 --> 00:06:00,180
He orders dinner sharp at 17:10,
59
00:06:00,286 --> 00:06:02,175
and then he has a run in the garden.
60
00:06:18,941 --> 00:06:23,733
C'mon, Clay, c'mon. Oh, look, lovely dinner!
That's a lovely dinner!
61
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:27,387
C'mon, eat it up. C'mon, Clay, c'mon.
62
00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:33,621
Aww, it's not natural, is it?
63
00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:36,921
I mean, if God had wanted
to create a vegetarian dog,
64
00:06:36,925 --> 00:06:39,731
he wouldn't have made you
a bloodhound, would He?
65
00:06:39,838 --> 00:06:44,083
He'd have made you a yogurthound,
or a veggie burgerhound.
66
00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:47,956
You're a bloodhound! You need meat!
67
00:06:54,973 --> 00:06:57,531
Wait 'til ya see what I've got for you!
68
00:06:58,556 --> 00:07:00,145
Mmm, what's this?
69
00:07:04,796 --> 00:07:07,738
You wait 'til you taste this, Clay!
Nice dinner.
70
00:07:07,837 --> 00:07:10,869
You've never tasted anything like this...
71
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:15,351
Now then, you get your chops 'round this!
72
00:07:16,699 --> 00:07:18,104
C'mon, Clay.
73
00:07:18,748 --> 00:07:20,309
It's your birthday.
74
00:07:21,659 --> 00:07:22,937
C'mon.
75
00:07:29,243 --> 00:07:31,280
Ooo, is that lovely?
76
00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:38,744
Greedy guts! That's Joe's tea you're guzzling!
77
00:07:39,195 --> 00:07:41,943
I think chips n' egg's nice
for a change, don't you?
78
00:07:42,938 --> 00:07:46,905
Mind you, I don't think Joe
will see it quite like that.
79
00:07:46,906 --> 00:07:49,939
Oh, sod it!
Have another glass of wine, Shirley.
80
00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:54,579
I never used to drink wine.
It was our Millandra got me started on this.
81
00:07:54,586 --> 00:07:55,699
She said to me, she said,
82
00:07:55,706 --> 00:07:58,385
everybody drinks wine now.
- I like rum and coke.
83
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,719
For God's sake!
Rum and coke went out with the ark!
84
00:08:01,818 --> 00:08:03,479
Didn't it, Sharon Louise, hmm?
85
00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,804
Anyway, they don't sell rum and
coke in here. It's a wine bar!
86
00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:10,578
- Look,... they sell wine.
- What, just wine?
87
00:08:10,585 --> 00:08:12,084
- For God's sake!
88
00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:16,399
But, there's thousands of different
varieties of wine, Mrs. Bradshaw.
89
00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:20,149
- I like Alsatian wine.
- Well, that's what we're gonna have.
90
00:08:21,273 --> 00:08:24,723
Kids! They know everything, don't they?
91
00:08:24,985 --> 00:08:27,731
Our Millandra shares a flat with Sharon Louise.
92
00:08:28,857 --> 00:08:30,866
They're fascinated by sex.
93
00:08:32,248 --> 00:08:35,832
Well, I suppose I'd have been the same
if I'd been born into their generation,
94
00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,068
'cause they discovered it, you see...
95
00:08:38,073 --> 00:08:39,598
The clitoris.
96
00:08:40,794 --> 00:08:43,122
"The clitoris kids", I call them,
and good luck to them.
97
00:08:43,128 --> 00:08:45,012
I don't begrudge them a thing.
98
00:08:46,232 --> 00:08:49,137
Mind you, it was different in my day.
99
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,972
D'ya know, d'ya know, when I was a girl,
100
00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:56,693
we'd never even heard of the clitoris.
- Noone had.
101
00:08:56,728 --> 00:08:58,485
In those days, everyone thought it was a case of
102
00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:01,069
in out, in out, shake it all about.
103
00:09:01,079 --> 00:09:03,793
Stars would light up the sky,
and the earth would tremble.
104
00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,222
Hey, the only thing that trembled
for me was the headboard on the bed.
105
00:09:08,759 --> 00:09:13,206
D'ya know, the first time I read about it,
I thought it was pronounced "clit-oris"?
106
00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:15,378
I think it sounds nicer that way.
107
00:09:15,479 --> 00:09:18,162
That even sounds like it could
be a name, doesn't it, eh?.
108
00:09:18,199 --> 00:09:20,721
Oh, hiya, Clit-oris, how are ya?
109
00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:24,310
That makes it sound a bit crude somehow.
110
00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:26,515
Oh, shut up. Why not?
111
00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:29,205
Plenty of men walking 'round called Dick.
112
00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:34,193
Well, anyway, that's the way
I thought it was pronounced
113
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,474
when I first mentioned it to Joe.
114
00:09:35,481 --> 00:09:39,151
Ya know, we'd sit there in the front
room one night, and I said to him,...
115
00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,873
I said, "Joey". I said, "Joe",
116
00:09:41,878 --> 00:09:44,301
"Have you ever heard of the clitoris?"
117
00:09:44,311 --> 00:09:45,934
He didn't even look up from his paper.
118
00:09:45,942 --> 00:09:49,743
"Yeah", he said,
"But it doesn't go as well as the Ford Escort".
119
00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:53,648
Ah, they were great those mates.
120
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,421
I don't see them anymore.
121
00:10:01,717 --> 00:10:03,923
Ah, well, that's the way it goes.
122
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:07,986
And now Millandra's gone and,
our Brian's left home as well.
123
00:10:09,782 --> 00:10:12,211
He's living in a squat now in Kirby.
124
00:10:12,214 --> 00:10:14,449
It's like Beirut on a bad day.
125
00:10:14,677 --> 00:10:16,301
Do you like it, mum?
126
00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:21,747
- Well, it's got that lived in look.
- We're gonna plant flowers!
127
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,186
Ah, son!
128
00:10:24,853 --> 00:10:28,170
If you're gonna live in a squat,
couldn't you pick somewhere nice?
129
00:10:28,181 --> 00:10:30,163
Ya know, somewhere like Walton or Childwall?
130
00:10:30,165 --> 00:10:33,582
Mother, Childwall is no place for a poet.
131
00:10:33,686 --> 00:10:36,746
- A what?
- A poet, mum. I've become a poet.
132
00:10:36,758 --> 00:10:40,205
I went down the Jobcentre today,
and signed-on as a poet.
133
00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:42,832
Britain's first ever street poet.
134
00:10:43,669 --> 00:10:46,090
Is there much call for that
sort of thing 'round here?
135
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:47,630
Watch...
136
00:10:51,796 --> 00:10:54,802
"Don't rob cars, it's mad, it's bad".
137
00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:57,200
"Think of ya ma's, it'd make 'em sad".
138
00:10:57,333 --> 00:11:00,690
"Ya mothers would get a broken
heart if you got smashed up".
139
00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:05,140
"Get wise, get smart,... don't rob cars!".
140
00:11:05,236 --> 00:11:06,704
- Piss Off!
141
00:11:13,299 --> 00:11:15,726
Poets have always had a hard time of it.
142
00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,993
I do miss them though, the kids, don't I, wall?
143
00:11:30,226 --> 00:11:32,298
There's only me and him now.
144
00:11:32,786 --> 00:11:37,005
What's he like,... my fella?
What's he like, eh, wall?
145
00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:39,855
Well, he walked in one night
with a smile on his face,
146
00:11:39,858 --> 00:11:43,150
and we didn't recognise him.
Thought we had a lodger, didn't we?
147
00:11:45,107 --> 00:11:48,423
He used to laugh, Joe. We both did.
148
00:11:49,971 --> 00:11:52,810
Hey, wall, do you remember
when we first moved in here?
149
00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:55,980
Oh, that seems like a long time ago.
150
00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:59,178
We hadn't long been married.
151
00:12:01,492 --> 00:12:03,026
Hey!!
152
00:12:04,178 --> 00:12:05,354
What?
153
00:12:05,362 --> 00:12:07,729
I can do me own makeup, thank you very much.
154
00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:11,883
Oh, sorry, well it's only a speck.
155
00:12:12,178 --> 00:12:15,372
You're bound to get a bit of paint on
you doing a job like this, aren't ya?
156
00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,097
Hey?
157
00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,015
What?
158
00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:31,047
- You did that on purpose, didn't ya?
- What?
159
00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:33,768
Little bugger,... you did this!
160
00:12:33,769 --> 00:12:35,015
No!!
161
00:12:37,264 --> 00:12:39,535
- No, Shirley, stop!
162
00:12:41,872 --> 00:12:43,502
You bugger!
163
00:12:45,134 --> 00:12:46,284
Ta da!
164
00:12:47,153 --> 00:12:49,191
- No, don't!
- I'll get you!
165
00:12:49,288 --> 00:12:50,731
No!!
166
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,587
For you, "Van Gogh".
167
00:13:02,127 --> 00:13:04,266
- This is for you, "Mona Lisa".
- No!
168
00:13:09,103 --> 00:13:13,607
No, don't! Ah, no don't, Joe.
Oh, Joe, please!
169
00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:20,327
You're a bloody nutcase, you!
You're loop-the-loop!
170
00:13:20,943 --> 00:13:23,086
No, you're not kissing me like that!
171
00:13:24,783 --> 00:13:27,916
- Go on!
- Oh, alright.
172
00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,046
It's up me nose!
173
00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:48,773
Aren't we the daring young things,
getting a bath together?
174
00:13:48,816 --> 00:13:52,418
- Does this mean we're perverted?
- You're a nutcase, you are!
175
00:13:56,719 --> 00:13:59,013
I love you, Shirley Valentine.
176
00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:04,008
Remember that, wall?
177
00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:06,404
He used to love me
because I was a nutcase.
178
00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:08,716
Now he just thinks I am a nutcase.
179
00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:10,671
Mmm...
180
00:14:11,534 --> 00:14:13,637
It's lovely that. It's not too dry.
181
00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,808
Some of it'd strip the palate off ya,
wouldn't it, but this is lovely.
182
00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:21,386
D'ya know what I'd like to do, wall?
183
00:14:22,669 --> 00:14:26,563
I'd like to drink a glass of wine,
in a country where the grape is grown.
184
00:14:27,981 --> 00:14:32,584
Sitting by the sea, just... sipping wine,
and watching the sun go down.
185
00:14:33,677 --> 00:14:35,306
What's going on here?
186
00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:39,621
- Who the bloody hell are you talking to?
- To the wall.
187
00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:44,328
- To the what?
- The wall. Any objections?
188
00:14:46,605 --> 00:14:48,393
Never mind the bleedin' wall.
189
00:14:48,396 --> 00:14:51,050
It's nearly 6 o'clock. Get on with gettin' me tea.
190
00:14:51,052 --> 00:14:54,631
Oh My God!
It's 6 o'clock, and his tea isn't ready!
191
00:14:54,636 --> 00:14:56,162
Will the government collapse?
192
00:14:56,173 --> 00:14:59,591
Does this mean the end of
civilization as we know it?
193
00:14:59,852 --> 00:15:02,661
I always have me tea at 6 o'clock.
194
00:15:02,988 --> 00:15:08,261
So, just think how exciting it'd be,
if for once you had it at 6:15?
195
00:15:08,748 --> 00:15:14,120
It'd make the headlines.
"World Exclusive"... "Joe Eats Late!".
196
00:15:16,652 --> 00:15:20,293
I think... you're going 'round the bend.
197
00:15:20,365 --> 00:15:23,846
Oh, I do hope so, I've always wanted to travel!
198
00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:27,813
- Now, listen...
- No, you listen!
199
00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:31,364
Go and get washed, and go
and sit and watch the telly.
200
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,023
You'll have your tea when it's ready.
201
00:15:44,617 --> 00:15:47,329
I always said I'd leave him when the kids grew up.
202
00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:50,884
But by the time they'd grown up,
there was nowhere to go.
203
00:15:52,106 --> 00:15:55,432
I'm not saying he's bad, my fella.
He's just no bleedin' good.
204
00:15:56,618 --> 00:16:00,512
I don't hate men. I'm not a feminist, not like Jane.
205
00:16:00,618 --> 00:16:02,271
Jane's me mate.
206
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,308
I was having tea with her
in a cafe the other day.
207
00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:09,761
Now, Jane is a feminist.
Well, she likes to think she is.
208
00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:11,777
She reads Cosmopolitan, and she says...
209
00:16:11,786 --> 00:16:14,529
All men are potential rapists.
210
00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:19,489
- Even the Pope?
- Of course,... all men, without exception.
211
00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,569
Look.
212
00:16:22,729 --> 00:16:23,935
What?
213
00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:26,848
- Him.
- What about him?
214
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:34,403
Since we arrived, he hasn't taken his eyes off us.
215
00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,498
He's spent the whole time undressing us.
216
00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:40,642
Go away!
217
00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:43,849
Good job I put me clean underwear on.
218
00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:49,224
Jane divorced her husband.
219
00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:51,875
I never knew him, it was before I met her.
220
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,470
Apparently, she came home from
work unexpectedly one morning,
221
00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,934
and found him in bed with the milkman.
222
00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:58,560
Honest to God! The milkman!
223
00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,964
Well, from that day forward, I've noticed...
224
00:17:00,969 --> 00:17:03,522
she never takes milk in her tea.
225
00:17:05,097 --> 00:17:06,686
Shirley, listen.
226
00:17:07,239 --> 00:17:10,141
I went in for a magazine competition, and I won it!
227
00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:13,572
A fortnight's holiday for two in Greece!
How about that?!
228
00:17:13,672 --> 00:17:16,482
Jane, what am I gonna do without you for 2 weeks?
229
00:17:16,679 --> 00:17:18,913
You're the only one I ever talk to.
230
00:17:19,014 --> 00:17:21,216
- I won't half miss you.
- No, you won't,
231
00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:23,871
- because you're coming with me.
- What?
232
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,021
I've got it all fixed. Tomorrow morning,
233
00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:30,715
- we go to the travel agents and pick the tickets up.
- Oh, but Jane, I can't!
234
00:17:30,726 --> 00:17:31,943
- Yes, you can!
235
00:17:31,944 --> 00:17:35,110
- And I don't want a vote of thanks
or a speech about how grateful you are.
236
00:17:35,206 --> 00:17:38,563
You'll be doing me a big favour by coming with me.
237
00:17:41,064 --> 00:17:42,436
All set.
238
00:17:43,015 --> 00:17:45,789
Tuesday week,... and we're off!
239
00:17:46,822 --> 00:17:48,735
I don't suppose you've got a passport, have you?
240
00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:50,402
- No, but Jane, I...
- C'mon.
241
00:17:50,407 --> 00:17:53,887
But, Jane, what about Joe?
Jane, it's impossible.
242
00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:57,278
Of course it's possible. It's perfectly possible.
243
00:17:57,415 --> 00:18:00,960
Just forget about Joe.
You're married to him, not joined at the hip.
244
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,271
Has he ever taken you abroad?
245
00:18:02,278 --> 00:18:05,340
No, he... he'd never go abroad.
He hates travelling.
246
00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:07,235
He gets culture shock when we go to Chester.
247
00:18:07,238 --> 00:18:10,651
Well, that's alright then,
because he's not going, and you are.
248
00:18:15,431 --> 00:18:18,341
D'ya know, if I told Joe I was
going to Greece for a week,
249
00:18:18,342 --> 00:18:20,540
he'd think I was going for the sex.
250
00:18:20,837 --> 00:18:22,082
Well, let him.
251
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,178
- I wouldn't mind, but I'm not
particulary fond of it, sex.
252
00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:31,170
I think sex is like supermarkets.
You know, overrated.
253
00:18:31,814 --> 00:18:33,155
Just a lot of pushing and shoving,
254
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:35,710
and you still come out
with very little at the end.
255
00:18:40,645 --> 00:18:42,619
You get them out of here.
256
00:18:43,301 --> 00:18:45,475
Listen, Jane, what about Joe?
257
00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:48,479
Look, Shirley, if Joe doesn't want to go abroad...
258
00:18:48,484 --> 00:18:51,551
If he wants to behave like every
other boring, insular, Englishman,
259
00:18:51,557 --> 00:18:54,782
then that's his prerogative.
But you do want to go abroad...
260
00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:58,016
You've said so on many occasions,
and now you can.
261
00:18:58,116 --> 00:19:00,995
That's your prerogative. It's no problem, Shirley.
262
00:19:00,996 --> 00:19:02,719
It's perfectly logical.
263
00:19:02,821 --> 00:19:05,187
I know it's logical. Dead logical,...
264
00:19:05,189 --> 00:19:09,123
but, you can't bring logic into this.
We're talking about marriage.
265
00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:13,280
Marriage is like the Middle East: There's no solution.
266
00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:22,077
Oh, God! Ugh, I look like
the back end of a tram smash!
267
00:19:22,179 --> 00:19:24,894
Right, now then... Come on, bikini.
268
00:19:25,475 --> 00:19:28,515
Bikini? With my stretch marks?!
269
00:19:28,547 --> 00:19:31,198
I'd be arrested for bringing
human form into disrepute!
270
00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:32,579
- Oh, get away!
271
00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:36,480
Listen, Jane, how am I going to tell Joe
that I'm off to Greece for a fortnight?
272
00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:40,410
Oh, by the way, Joseph, umm,...
I'm just popping off to Greece for a fortnight.
273
00:19:40,418 --> 00:19:44,444
Yeah,... I just thought I'd mention it
so you can put it down in your diary.
274
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:48,473
You won't mind doing your own washing and
cooking for a couple of weeks, will you, doll?
275
00:19:48,481 --> 00:19:49,561
There's nothing to it, babe.
276
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,830
The brown blob on the right of
the kitchen is the washing machine,
277
00:19:52,836 --> 00:19:55,169
and the white blob on the left is the cooker.
278
00:19:55,172 --> 00:19:59,134
And don't get them mixed up,
or you might end up with socks on toast.
279
00:19:59,586 --> 00:20:01,983
Some chance, eh, wall? Some chance.
280
00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,314
Jesus, if I go to the bathroom for 5 minutes,
281
00:20:04,322 --> 00:20:06,298
he thinks I've been hijacked!
282
00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:10,749
Still here then, are we?
Haven't forgotten me then, eh?
283
00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:13,021
It won't be long now.
284
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,104
See what I mean?
285
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:30,586
Oh, I knew I shouldn't have taken the
bloody tickets off her in the first place.
286
00:20:31,553 --> 00:20:32,858
I'll phone Jane tomorrow.
287
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,133
She'll easy find someone else to go with her.
288
00:20:37,314 --> 00:20:39,743
And there was me when I was a girl...
289
00:20:39,841 --> 00:20:42,232
The only thing I ever wanted to do was travel.
290
00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:46,013
I wanted to be a courier, or an air hostess.
291
00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:50,366
But it was only the clever ones
who got to do things like that.
292
00:20:50,369 --> 00:20:54,649
The ones like Marjorie Majors.
I used to sit next to her in class.
293
00:20:55,232 --> 00:20:56,693
- Marjorie?
294
00:20:56,768 --> 00:21:01,338
Miss, although it's often assumed
that Niagra Falls are the highest,
295
00:21:01,378 --> 00:21:04,572
I think in fact it's actually the Angel Falls.
296
00:21:04,769 --> 00:21:07,290
Marjorie took private elocution lessons.
297
00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:11,161
Can you tell me in what country
we would find Angel Falls?
298
00:21:11,232 --> 00:21:13,110
Venezuela, Miss.
299
00:21:13,249 --> 00:21:15,897
- Excellent!
25 house points.
300
00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:19,320
That makes 4 billion house
points she's got so far.
301
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,843
- And let us address
ourselves to my next question.
302
00:21:23,038 --> 00:21:26,196
What was man's most important invention?
303
00:21:29,152 --> 00:21:33,624
Oh, do put your hand down, Shirley.
You couldn't possibly know the answer.
304
00:21:33,855 --> 00:21:35,989
- But, Miss...
- Lorraine?
305
00:21:36,223 --> 00:21:39,029
- It's "Sputnik", Miss?
- No.
306
00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:41,848
But I knew I had the right answer,...
307
00:21:42,271 --> 00:21:44,572
Is it the automatic washing machine, Miss?
308
00:21:44,574 --> 00:21:45,556
- No.
309
00:21:45,566 --> 00:21:47,645
'cause I got it from me dad,...
- The aeroplane, Miss?
310
00:21:47,743 --> 00:21:49,717
and he got it from the "Encyclopedia Britannica".
311
00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:52,056
Well, come along, Marjorie.
312
00:21:52,191 --> 00:21:55,706
The internal combustion engine, Miss.
313
00:21:56,511 --> 00:21:59,611
- No, Marjorie.
- Miss?!
314
00:21:59,775 --> 00:22:02,522
I was nearly wetting myself,
knowing I was on the point of receiving...
315
00:22:02,624 --> 00:22:05,878
43 thousand house points,
a blessing from the Pope,
316
00:22:05,983 --> 00:22:07,894
and the OBE thrown in.
317
00:22:08,064 --> 00:22:12,477
Oh, very well, Shirley. You might as well
get it wrong along with everybody else.
318
00:22:12,478 --> 00:22:15,773
- What was man's most important invention?
319
00:22:17,918 --> 00:22:20,153
Miss, it was the wheel.
320
00:22:21,918 --> 00:22:23,740
Miss, it was the wheel!
321
00:22:23,838 --> 00:22:27,549
Man's most important invention was...
- Somebody must have told you!
322
00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:30,077
Well, how the bleeding hell else could I learn it?
323
00:22:30,077 --> 00:22:33,236
- Be quiet!
- Well, Miss, it's not fair!
324
00:22:33,406 --> 00:22:35,450
Miss. Lloyd, the hymn!
325
00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:42,772
And all me house points,
and me blessing from the Pope
326
00:22:42,877 --> 00:22:44,949
just disappeared before me eyes.
327
00:22:45,085 --> 00:22:47,514
I was never really interested in school after that.
328
00:22:47,709 --> 00:22:49,982
I became... a rebel.
329
00:22:52,157 --> 00:22:56,117
I used to wear my school skirts so high,
you'd have thought it was a serviette.
330
00:22:56,222 --> 00:22:57,879
I was marvellous!
331
00:23:00,573 --> 00:23:03,381
I used to exude boredom out of every pore,
332
00:23:03,388 --> 00:23:04,982
and I hated everything.
333
00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,896
- What did you have last lesson?
- Science.
334
00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:10,679
- It's garbage, science.
- It's boring.
335
00:23:11,069 --> 00:23:12,628
What did you do in it?
336
00:23:12,762 --> 00:23:15,385
She showed us this film of
these rabbits having a screw.
337
00:23:15,677 --> 00:23:18,227
- Any good?
- Super boring.
338
00:23:18,235 --> 00:23:22,226
- I don't even like them in stew.
- I hate them,... rabbits.
339
00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:27,794
I hate the world. I hate everything.
It's all garbage. It's last.
340
00:23:27,867 --> 00:23:29,971
It's crap, and I hate it.
341
00:23:32,187 --> 00:23:36,175
But I didn't really hate anything.
The only thing I hated was me.
342
00:23:38,269 --> 00:23:41,019
Hey,... d'ya wanna drag?
343
00:23:44,188 --> 00:23:49,270
- Do you think she'll tell?
- She's a cow, she give me the irrit's.
344
00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:52,053
- Shirley Valentine!
345
00:24:14,074 --> 00:24:18,613
Shirley, I didn't give you away, honestly,
but you shouldn't smoke...
346
00:24:18,745 --> 00:24:21,043
Smoking can damage your health.
347
00:24:21,306 --> 00:24:23,603
And I can damage your health!
348
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,232
God, can't you be evil when you're a kid!
349
00:24:30,330 --> 00:24:33,176
I used to pick on Marjorie something rotten.
350
00:24:33,626 --> 00:24:36,436
And all the time I suppose I
really wanted to be like her.
351
00:24:36,538 --> 00:24:39,156
- Your report is excellent, as usual.
352
00:24:39,577 --> 00:24:43,376
I'm particulary delighted to hear that you're
going to stay on with us to do your A-levels,...
353
00:24:43,384 --> 00:24:46,324
which will lead to your eventual entry into university.
354
00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:48,431
- Congratulations, my dear.
355
00:24:49,593 --> 00:24:51,279
Thank you, Miss.
356
00:24:57,272 --> 00:24:59,927
- And now we come to Miss. Valentine.
357
00:25:06,902 --> 00:25:10,734
Well, Shirley,... naturally, you are leaving us.
358
00:25:11,257 --> 00:25:14,737
And a brief glance at your report
confirms my deep suspicion,...
359
00:25:14,841 --> 00:25:19,854
that you will not go far in life.
Which perhaps is just as well,...
360
00:25:19,991 --> 00:25:22,997
given your marks in geography, you'd truly get lost.
361
00:25:24,824 --> 00:25:27,413
Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday!
362
00:25:31,384 --> 00:25:33,652
- Miss. Valentine, will you please come back!
363
00:25:45,206 --> 00:25:49,196
Of course, after I left I never saw
any more of her, Marjorie Majors...
364
00:25:49,302 --> 00:25:52,173
Then, a few weeks ago,
I was on my way home from town...
365
00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:54,066
You know, loaded down with shopping...
366
00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,542
Taxi! Taxi!
367
00:26:04,758 --> 00:26:06,766
Oh, you sod!
368
00:26:14,103 --> 00:26:15,730
I'm terribly sorry.
369
00:26:17,432 --> 00:26:18,932
Forgive me for asking, but...
370
00:26:18,934 --> 00:26:21,617
didn't you used to be Shirley Valentine?
371
00:26:21,815 --> 00:26:23,628
Marjorie Majors.
372
00:26:24,084 --> 00:26:27,082
I'd recognise those elocution lessons anywhere.
373
00:26:27,350 --> 00:26:30,092
It is! It's Shirley!
374
00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:33,267
My God, you're drenched!
Come in and have tea.
375
00:26:40,117 --> 00:26:44,112
Well, Marjorie,... you've waited
a long time for your revenge,
376
00:26:44,117 --> 00:26:46,601
but you got me in good style now.
Well, go on,
377
00:26:46,613 --> 00:26:50,028
dig the knife in quick,
and let's get it over with.
378
00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:53,231
Tell me all about you being
an air hostess on Concord.
379
00:26:53,364 --> 00:26:55,596
I can't believe it, Shirley. After all these years!
380
00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:57,393
I know, and I haven't changed a bit, have I?
381
00:26:57,494 --> 00:26:59,468
Still kept my youthful complection.
382
00:26:59,798 --> 00:27:02,094
We've got to get you out of those wet things.
383
00:27:02,612 --> 00:27:03,954
Here we are.
384
00:27:16,723 --> 00:27:18,318
Thanks, Marjorie.
385
00:27:18,772 --> 00:27:20,462
Oh, that's better.
386
00:27:22,067 --> 00:27:23,147
Hello.
387
00:27:24,596 --> 00:27:26,638
Now, I want to know everything
that's happened to you.
388
00:27:26,644 --> 00:27:28,303
I want the whole story, from A to Z.
389
00:27:28,404 --> 00:27:31,245
Got a postage stamp? I'll write it down for you.
390
00:27:32,052 --> 00:27:34,123
Won't you sit down, Shirley.
391
00:27:36,787 --> 00:27:38,672
- Do you have children?
- Yeah.
392
00:27:39,604 --> 00:27:41,676
Tell me about them. Are they like you?
393
00:27:42,292 --> 00:27:44,908
Well, our Millandra's a bit of a mare,
and Brian's a headcase,
394
00:27:44,915 --> 00:27:46,927
so, yeah, they are like me.
395
00:27:48,307 --> 00:27:51,848
- Well,... this is great, isn't it?
- Yeah.
396
00:27:54,419 --> 00:27:57,963
- Er,... so, where are you off to next?
- Paris...
397
00:27:58,322 --> 00:28:01,068
- Tonight, I'm afraid
- Is that where you live now?
398
00:28:01,073 --> 00:28:04,523
No, I'm based in London, but er,... I travel all over.
399
00:28:04,723 --> 00:28:08,432
- From Paris, it's Athens, I think.
- It's Greece, isn't it?
400
00:28:08,530 --> 00:28:11,114
- Yeah.
- I remember that from geography.
401
00:28:11,441 --> 00:28:13,995
- All those islands!
- That's right.
402
00:28:18,609 --> 00:28:21,672
- Shall I pour now, Madam?
- Please.
403
00:28:25,874 --> 00:28:29,649
This is my friend Marjorie.
We were at school together.
404
00:28:29,650 --> 00:28:34,345
Marjorie's an air hostess now,... on Concord.
405
00:28:35,154 --> 00:28:36,816
Pardon, darling?
406
00:28:37,587 --> 00:28:39,080
An air hostess?
407
00:28:39,825 --> 00:28:42,542
My God, Shirley, whatever gave you that idea?
408
00:28:42,672 --> 00:28:45,673
I said I travel widely, but I'm not an air hostess.
409
00:28:46,769 --> 00:28:50,153
Darling, I'm a hooker... I'm a whore.
410
00:28:55,121 --> 00:28:58,513
Oh, Madam, I'm, I'm so sorry.
Erm, I'll get you some more.
411
00:28:58,608 --> 00:29:02,061
- Nevermind, just leave it.
What do we want tea for anyway?
412
00:29:02,065 --> 00:29:03,851
This calls for a celebration.
413
00:29:08,401 --> 00:29:12,874
I just can't believe it...
You, a hooker? Honest, Marjorie?
414
00:29:13,138 --> 00:29:14,542
Yes, honest.
415
00:29:15,346 --> 00:29:18,440
And all that money your mother
spent on those elocution lessons!
416
00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:23,465
Do you know something?
I always hated the way I had to speak, I still do.
417
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,485
I think you speak lovely.
418
00:29:27,344 --> 00:29:32,906
- You, Marjorie Majors, a hooker!
- A top class hooker, of course.
419
00:29:32,946 --> 00:29:36,071
Mind you, I always was...
top of the class, wasn't I?
420
00:29:38,575 --> 00:29:41,131
- Are you shocked, darling?
- No... no, I'm not.
421
00:29:41,392 --> 00:29:43,916
I'm just thinking about all those house points!
422
00:29:57,616 --> 00:29:59,178
- I've found it!
423
00:30:03,247 --> 00:30:05,227
- Is that our class?
- Yes.
424
00:30:06,318 --> 00:30:09,634
Oh, God, look at me hair!
425
00:30:09,774 --> 00:30:13,546
- There's your favourite
- Yeah, that cow, Miss. Dearden.
426
00:30:15,758 --> 00:30:19,018
Remember, Marjorie,...
smoking is bad for your health!
427
00:30:20,558 --> 00:30:23,850
- God, what a pain in the neck I was.
- No, you weren't.
428
00:30:25,039 --> 00:30:27,211
You know, I never forgave myself
429
00:30:27,309 --> 00:30:30,602
for what I did to that beautiful soufflรฉ of yours.
430
00:30:35,853 --> 00:30:36,843
Yes?
431
00:30:37,006 --> 00:30:37,992
Yes.
432
00:30:38,568 --> 00:30:39,622
Oh, right...
433
00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:41,896
Tell him I'll be down in 5 minutes.
434
00:30:42,798 --> 00:30:45,161
Hell, that's my car for the airport.
435
00:30:45,773 --> 00:30:49,547
Oh, I wish I didn't have to go.
It's been such a lovely afternoon.
436
00:30:50,286 --> 00:30:54,441
Yeah,... and d'ya know when I
first saw you, I almost fled.
437
00:30:54,540 --> 00:30:55,589
Why?
438
00:30:55,663 --> 00:30:59,685
Ah,... I thought you'd come lording it over me.
439
00:30:59,886 --> 00:31:02,147
Me, lording it over you?
440
00:31:03,341 --> 00:31:06,092
Don't you realise, I wanted to be like you?
441
00:31:06,541 --> 00:31:08,611
And I wanted to be like you!
442
00:31:10,509 --> 00:31:13,507
If only we'd known.
We could have been great mates...
443
00:31:13,517 --> 00:31:15,367
You know, real close.
444
00:31:16,524 --> 00:31:18,667
- It's been fun, hasn't it?
- Yeah.
445
00:31:20,205 --> 00:31:23,271
Anyway, you're off to Paris now. That's lovely.
446
00:31:23,532 --> 00:31:26,441
Yes, but I'd rather be here, talking to you.
447
00:31:27,691 --> 00:31:29,130
Well then.
448
00:31:36,781 --> 00:31:39,243
- Can we give you a lift?
- No, I'm fine, thanks.
449
00:31:39,338 --> 00:31:41,639
I've still got a bit more shopping to do.
450
00:31:42,379 --> 00:31:43,754
Well then.
451
00:31:49,517 --> 00:31:52,459
And there was real affection in that kiss.
452
00:31:52,618 --> 00:31:55,172
It was the sweetest kiss I'd known in years.
453
00:31:59,531 --> 00:32:03,465
Goodbye, Shirley.
Goodbye, Shirley Valentine.
454
00:32:08,810 --> 00:32:10,851
"Goodbye, Shirley Valentine".
455
00:32:13,068 --> 00:32:14,757
What happened to her?
456
00:32:16,106 --> 00:32:18,408
What happened to Shirley Valentine?
457
00:32:19,084 --> 00:32:22,432
She got married... to a boy called Joe,...
458
00:32:22,603 --> 00:32:24,768
and even though her name
was changed to Bradshaw,
459
00:32:24,874 --> 00:32:27,973
she was still Shirley Valentine for a while.
460
00:32:28,523 --> 00:32:30,464
She knew who she was,...
461
00:32:31,818 --> 00:32:33,323
but somewhere along the way,
462
00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,807
the boy called Joe turned into "Him",....
463
00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:39,205
and Shirley Valentine turned into this.
464
00:32:42,922 --> 00:32:46,436
And what I can't remember
is the day, or the week,
465
00:32:46,442 --> 00:32:49,853
or the month, or... when it happened.
466
00:32:50,410 --> 00:32:52,416
When it stopped being good.
467
00:32:53,291 --> 00:32:56,037
When Shirley Valentine disappeared,
and became just another name
468
00:32:56,135 --> 00:32:58,273
on the 'missing persons' list.
469
00:33:00,873 --> 00:33:04,221
He says he still loves me, you know?
But, he doesn't...
470
00:33:04,936 --> 00:33:07,104
It's just something he says.
471
00:33:08,169 --> 00:33:11,232
It's funny, isn't it? "I love you".
It's like it makes everything alright.
472
00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:14,566
Like,... like you can be beaten,
and battered, and half insane,
473
00:33:14,569 --> 00:33:17,926
and if you complain, he'll say,
"What's wrong? You know I love you".
474
00:33:18,888 --> 00:33:22,333
"I love you". They should bottle it, and sell it...
475
00:33:22,344 --> 00:33:24,259
It cures everything.
476
00:33:28,392 --> 00:33:30,563
And I know what you're thinking.
477
00:33:31,303 --> 00:33:32,865
Why don't I leave?
478
00:33:33,703 --> 00:33:36,421
Well, I'm terrified, if you want to know.
479
00:33:36,647 --> 00:33:40,292
I'm terrified that if I left,
there'd be nowhere for me to go.
480
00:33:40,295 --> 00:33:43,326
No place for me in the life beyond the wall.
481
00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:48,667
When I was a girl, I used to jump off our roof.
482
00:33:48,774 --> 00:33:50,496
- Is it ready then?
483
00:33:54,119 --> 00:33:57,406
I get me tea at 6 o'clock, and it's
nearly 10 past. What's going on?
484
00:33:57,510 --> 00:33:59,042
It's ready, sit down.
485
00:34:30,727 --> 00:34:33,922
- What's this then?
- What?
486
00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:38,080
What... is... this?
487
00:34:40,421 --> 00:34:42,275
Well, it looks very like chips n' egg to me,
488
00:34:42,277 --> 00:34:44,038
but maybe it's a trick question.
489
00:34:44,230 --> 00:34:47,803
- It's Thursday.
We have steak on Thursday.
490
00:34:48,004 --> 00:34:51,451
We always have steak on Thursday.
491
00:34:52,262 --> 00:34:53,883
Well, alright it's Thursday,
492
00:34:53,989 --> 00:34:56,253
but we're having chips n' egg for a change.
493
00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:59,460
- You like chips n' egg.
- On a Tuesday...
494
00:34:59,493 --> 00:35:02,622
I like chips n' egg on a Tuesday.
495
00:35:03,558 --> 00:35:05,786
Today is Thursday.
496
00:35:06,534 --> 00:35:09,725
- Well, pretend it's Tuesday.
- Where's me steak?!
497
00:35:11,237 --> 00:35:14,593
- I give it to the dog!
- What dog?!
498
00:35:14,564 --> 00:35:17,244
Gillian's dog, across the street!
499
00:35:19,461 --> 00:35:20,867
Is this it?
500
00:35:22,149 --> 00:35:25,145
Have you finally gone 'round the friggin' pipe?!
501
00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:30,974
Look at me! I'm working from morning 'til night,
502
00:35:31,076 --> 00:35:35,165
working me tripe out, and what do I find?
503
00:35:35,587 --> 00:35:38,302
You, talking to the wall!
504
00:35:39,044 --> 00:35:42,174
Giving me tea to any friggin'
stray dog that comes along,
505
00:35:42,820 --> 00:35:46,016
and I'm expected to eat... this!
506
00:35:47,042 --> 00:35:50,878
Well, I'm... not... eating... this!
507
00:35:51,140 --> 00:35:54,461
I'm... not... eating... shite!
508
00:36:08,995 --> 00:36:10,946
- Chips n' egg.
509
00:36:11,747 --> 00:36:13,950
- Chips n' friggin' egg!
510
00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:17,532
- I'm working all the hours that God sends!
511
00:36:17,762 --> 00:36:21,819
- I don't know why I bother.
- I don't know what I'm doing it all for!
512
00:36:23,011 --> 00:36:25,562
- What's that?
- It's a place.
513
00:36:25,699 --> 00:36:27,548
It's a place I'm going to!
514
00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:33,020
Ahhh, I get it.
515
00:36:34,081 --> 00:36:36,575
That's the name of the game, is it?
516
00:36:38,882 --> 00:36:40,801
I'm not getting fed properly,
517
00:36:40,803 --> 00:36:43,996
because you're saving for a foreign friggin' holiday!
518
00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:46,240
Well, I'm telling you now, you can just forget it!
519
00:36:46,243 --> 00:36:49,441
I am not going to no Greece!
520
00:36:53,505 --> 00:36:54,942
Get it?!
521
00:37:44,224 --> 00:37:47,449
- Oh, hello, Shirley. What are you doing here?
522
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,151
- I'm just buying a few...
- They're quite nice, aren't they?
523
00:37:52,799 --> 00:37:56,693
It's marvellous what they can do with
man made fibres these days, isn't it?
524
00:37:56,702 --> 00:37:58,205
You'd almost think it was silk...
525
00:37:58,206 --> 00:38:00,253
if you weren't familiar with the real thing.
526
00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:02,875
Well, I expect they're quite nice for your Millandra.
527
00:38:02,911 --> 00:38:05,437
Oh, no, Gillian, I'm not buying them for Millandra,
528
00:38:05,472 --> 00:38:09,438
I'm buying them for myself.
Oh, these are better, yes.
529
00:38:09,471 --> 00:38:12,153
Yes, umm, but I shan't be
wearing them for myself...
530
00:38:12,158 --> 00:38:14,643
I shall be wearing them for my lover.
531
00:38:15,263 --> 00:38:17,242
Yes, we fly out tomorrow, my lover and I,
532
00:38:17,342 --> 00:38:19,164
for a fortnight in the Greek islands.
533
00:38:19,549 --> 00:38:23,155
Just 2 weeks of sun, sand, taramasalata,
534
00:38:23,167 --> 00:38:26,902
and whatever else takes our fancy.
Oh, well, I must be off now, Gillian.
535
00:38:26,910 --> 00:38:29,979
Still got a few more things to buy.
I don't suppose you noticed
536
00:38:29,983 --> 00:38:32,221
which counter the garter belts were on, did you?
537
00:38:32,223 --> 00:38:35,319
No? Oh, nevermind, I'll find them. Tara, Gillian.
538
00:38:52,670 --> 00:38:55,702
Passport,... tickets, money.
Passport, tickets, money.
539
00:38:55,806 --> 00:38:59,197
4 o'clock Jane's picking me up. 11:10.
540
00:38:59,901 --> 00:39:02,745
Ugh, I feel sick.
541
00:39:03,357 --> 00:39:06,106
Those travel sickness pills mustn't be working.
542
00:39:06,108 --> 00:39:08,920
I still feel sick, and I've taken 4 already,...
543
00:39:08,925 --> 00:39:11,417
and I've only travelled up n' down the stairs.
544
00:39:11,517 --> 00:39:14,359
Passport, tickets, money.
545
00:39:14,428 --> 00:39:17,015
I got a full one, wall,... passport.
546
00:39:17,213 --> 00:39:19,961
Well, you never know, Shirley,
this could be the start of something.
547
00:39:20,062 --> 00:39:22,709
This year Greece, next year the world.
548
00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:26,294
Oh, God, I knew I should have told him.
549
00:39:26,845 --> 00:39:29,688
10 days I've been secretly ironing, and packing.
550
00:39:29,692 --> 00:39:31,894
It's been like living in a bleedin' prison!
551
00:39:31,997 --> 00:39:33,653
Cooking all his meat for the next fortnight...
552
00:39:33,659 --> 00:39:35,000
They're all in the freezer.
553
00:39:35,005 --> 00:39:36,756
My mother's got to come in and defrost them,
554
00:39:36,858 --> 00:39:38,611
and do his cooking for him.
555
00:39:39,707 --> 00:39:42,453
With a bit of luck,
he won't even notice I'm not here.
556
00:39:42,908 --> 00:39:44,530
Oh, God!
557
00:39:46,364 --> 00:39:49,083
God, look, I know I'm being cruel,
558
00:39:49,084 --> 00:39:50,995
and I know I will have to
pay for it when I get back,
559
00:39:51,003 --> 00:39:54,329
and I don't mind paying for it then,
but just... just do me a favour, God,
560
00:39:54,331 --> 00:39:56,982
and don't make me pay for ir during the 2 weeks.
561
00:39:57,082 --> 00:39:59,415
Keep everyone safe, please.
562
00:40:39,352 --> 00:40:42,582
I hate that Sharon Louise! She's a mare!
563
00:40:42,683 --> 00:40:45,942
I don't know why I ever went to
live with her in the first place!
564
00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:49,302
Mother, I've come back to live with you!
565
00:40:51,577 --> 00:40:54,543
Mother, make me some cocoa
and toast like you used to...
566
00:40:54,648 --> 00:40:56,435
I'm going to me room.
567
00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,282
She's a cow, that Sharon Louise.
568
00:41:27,384 --> 00:41:29,999
I don't know why I ever left you, Mother.
569
00:41:31,961 --> 00:41:34,958
Mother, you haven't put
enough sugar in this cocoa.
570
00:41:34,968 --> 00:41:37,781
Will you go down, and get us another spoon?
571
00:41:48,151 --> 00:41:49,524
What am I doing, wall?
572
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:51,182
She's only been back 5 minutes, and...
573
00:41:51,191 --> 00:41:54,669
she's got me strutting 'round like R2 bleedin' D2!
574
00:42:03,510 --> 00:42:06,322
Ah, thanks, Mother, that's brilliant.
575
00:42:07,543 --> 00:42:09,940
God, I love being back home.
576
00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:13,743
We'll go down town on Saturday,
shall we, Mother? Like we used to.
577
00:42:13,783 --> 00:42:16,367
Do some shopping together, eh?
Just you and me.
578
00:42:16,374 --> 00:42:17,647
- Yeah, that...
- Mother, do us a favour,...
579
00:42:17,749 --> 00:42:20,747
- and bring the telly upstairs, will ya?
- Millandra...
580
00:42:21,877 --> 00:42:25,168
Millandra, I'm really pleased you've come home...
581
00:42:25,176 --> 00:42:27,925
You know, because I've missed you.
- And I've missed you, Mother.
582
00:42:28,022 --> 00:42:29,484
I've been home sick, you know.
583
00:42:29,493 --> 00:42:32,012
I mean, I've never said that.
I've never complained,
584
00:42:32,023 --> 00:42:34,573
because I think kids should have their own lives,
585
00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:40,340
but there's... there's been many a time I'd
loved to have sat and had a talk with you, or,
586
00:42:40,342 --> 00:42:43,349
or gone to town with you, or had a meal,
or shared a laugh...
587
00:42:43,351 --> 00:42:46,831
- Mother...
- Just like... like, not as your Mother, but
588
00:42:46,838 --> 00:42:47,885
as another human being...
589
00:42:47,925 --> 00:42:49,649
- Well, Mother, could you get the telly for us?
590
00:42:49,655 --> 00:42:51,276
Playschool's gonna be on in a minute.
591
00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:54,736
but I couldn't,... because you had your own life...
592
00:42:55,766 --> 00:42:57,932
Your own interests, and your own friends...
593
00:42:57,941 --> 00:42:59,118
None of it to do with me.
594
00:42:59,126 --> 00:43:02,671
Yeah, well, that's okay
'cause now I've come back home.
595
00:43:02,678 --> 00:43:06,740
Yes, you've come home, and that's fantastic,
596
00:43:07,189 --> 00:43:10,513
and, and, you couldn't have picked
a better time for it, 'cause...
597
00:43:11,125 --> 00:43:13,361
It'll be a great help having you
here to look after your Father.
598
00:43:13,461 --> 00:43:16,943
- Why? What's wrong with him?
- Well, there's nothing wrong with him, it's...
599
00:43:19,157 --> 00:43:22,030
it's just with me not being
here for the next 2 weeks.
600
00:43:23,411 --> 00:43:24,624
- What?
601
00:43:25,460 --> 00:43:28,657
- With me and Jane going to Greece,... today...
602
00:43:28,661 --> 00:43:32,593
- You and...? Going to Greece? What for?!
603
00:43:32,917 --> 00:43:36,720
- For 2 whole weeks.
- That Jane,... and you?!
604
00:43:37,077 --> 00:43:39,405
- What's me Father had to say about it?!
605
00:43:40,596 --> 00:43:43,178
- Well,... I haven't told him.
606
00:43:44,563 --> 00:43:47,402
- I think it's a disgrace!
- What?
607
00:43:47,411 --> 00:43:49,711
- Me own Mother behaving like that!
608
00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:52,719
- Millandra, I thought you'd be made up for me.
609
00:43:52,723 --> 00:43:56,465
- Made up? Made up?! I think it's disgusting!
610
00:43:56,468 --> 00:43:58,418
- Hold on, what's disgusting about it?
611
00:43:58,515 --> 00:44:00,686
- 2 middle aged women going
to Greece on their own?
612
00:44:00,787 --> 00:44:03,176
- It's disgusting!
- Oh, don't be silly!
613
00:44:03,283 --> 00:44:06,412
- Love, where are ya going?
- I'm going back to my flat.
614
00:44:06,899 --> 00:44:09,809
- Greece, at your age! You and that Jane!
615
00:44:09,811 --> 00:44:10,987
- It's obscene!
616
00:44:10,994 --> 00:44:13,895
- You are jumping to exactly the
same conclusions as your Father would.
617
00:44:14,003 --> 00:44:17,232
You think I'm off to Greece
on a grab-a-granny fortnight!
618
00:44:21,907 --> 00:44:25,034
That's right, Millandra,
I'm going to Greece for the sex!
619
00:44:25,523 --> 00:44:29,676
Sex for breakfast, sex for dinner,
sex for tea, and sex for supper!
620
00:44:29,747 --> 00:44:31,755
Sounds like a marvellous diet, love!
621
00:44:31,761 --> 00:44:35,368
It is! Have you never heard of it?
It's called the "F" plan!
622
00:44:38,769 --> 00:44:41,323
"You, going to Greece. What for?".
623
00:44:47,890 --> 00:44:50,186
What am I going for?
624
00:44:55,858 --> 00:44:58,829
Shirley, you are one silly bitch!
625
00:45:00,690 --> 00:45:02,769
You're 42, not 22.
626
00:45:04,434 --> 00:45:07,663
Just another stupid woman,
looking for adventure,...
627
00:45:07,697 --> 00:45:10,278
when the time for adventures is over.
628
00:45:14,865 --> 00:45:19,020
Well, I'll phone Jane,... tell her I'm not coming.
629
00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:51,432
- Oh, hello, Shirley, is Joe at home?
- No, Gillian, Joe isn't at home,...
630
00:45:51,441 --> 00:45:53,198
and listen, if you've come to
spill the beans, don't bother...
631
00:45:53,295 --> 00:45:56,456
Shirley, I haven't come to spill any beans.
632
00:45:58,289 --> 00:46:01,768
I just wanted to check
that Joseph wasn't home...
633
00:46:04,079 --> 00:46:06,410
before I gave you... this.
634
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,053
I want you to have it for your trip... to Greece.
635
00:46:10,767 --> 00:46:12,523
Well, do open it.
636
00:46:19,950 --> 00:46:23,341
It is silk. It's never been worn...
637
00:46:23,438 --> 00:46:26,089
You see, I... was never brave enough.
638
00:46:26,382 --> 00:46:30,090
- Oh, Gillian!
- I wish I'd had your bravery.
639
00:46:30,159 --> 00:46:33,221
- Listen, today...
- Please, Shirley, don't say anything.
640
00:46:33,231 --> 00:46:38,855
- It's yours. I just wanted you to know...
I think you're marvellous.
641
00:46:44,046 --> 00:46:45,768
- Gillian!
642
00:46:57,322 --> 00:46:59,778
Gillian really believes it!
643
00:46:59,914 --> 00:47:02,913
All that rubbish about me, taking a lover!
644
00:47:02,985 --> 00:47:05,318
She really believes it's possible!
645
00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,391
In her eyes, I'm no longer Shirley Bradshaw,
646
00:47:07,497 --> 00:47:10,913
middle aged housewife, beginning to sag a bit.
647
00:47:11,273 --> 00:47:15,263
I'm Shirley the brave. Shirley the marvellous!
648
00:47:16,907 --> 00:47:18,821
Shirley Valentine!
649
00:47:20,394 --> 00:47:22,400
From now on, when I look in the mirror,
650
00:47:22,409 --> 00:47:24,544
I'm not gonna say, "Christ, you're 42",
651
00:47:24,553 --> 00:47:30,437
I'm gonna say, "Hey, Shirley, you're only 42!
Isn't that marvellous?!"
652
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,183
"Gone to Greece. Back in 2 weeks"
653
00:47:53,992 --> 00:47:55,203
Shirl'?
654
00:48:00,168 --> 00:48:01,696
Shirl'?
655
00:49:11,301 --> 00:49:12,573
Hey.
656
00:49:12,967 --> 00:49:15,102
I bet you didn't recognise me.
657
00:49:15,846 --> 00:49:18,530
I hardly recognise myself these days.
658
00:49:19,590 --> 00:49:22,656
I love it here,... don't I, rock?
659
00:49:23,398 --> 00:49:26,462
That's rock. We met the first day I got here.
660
00:49:27,398 --> 00:49:31,486
I found this little place...
I found you, didn't I, rock?
661
00:49:31,557 --> 00:49:33,660
I talk to you,... rock.
662
00:49:34,498 --> 00:49:36,894
He's got his name running right through him.
663
00:49:37,187 --> 00:49:41,603
Now, of course, I talk to rock,
but he doesn't talk to me.
664
00:49:41,668 --> 00:49:44,417
He can't, you see, he's a Greek rock.
665
00:49:45,189 --> 00:49:48,091
He can't understand a bleedin' word I'm saying!
666
00:49:49,796 --> 00:49:52,543
I might have risked the main
beach if I'd have been with Jane,
667
00:49:52,644 --> 00:49:56,768
but on me own, I felt a bit,...
you know, conspicuous.
668
00:49:57,637 --> 00:50:00,634
'Cause Jane met a fella, didn't she.
669
00:50:01,476 --> 00:50:05,792
Not here,... on the plane. Honest to God!
670
00:50:06,211 --> 00:50:07,226
Ladies and gentleman,
671
00:50:07,236 --> 00:50:09,178
would you now please observe
the no smoking sign,
672
00:50:09,188 --> 00:50:11,555
and extinguish all lighted cigarettes.
673
00:50:13,605 --> 00:50:17,987
- Where have you been?
- I told you, just to the loo.
674
00:50:17,987 --> 00:50:20,188
I was beginning to think you'd fallen down it.
675
00:50:20,291 --> 00:50:24,060
Shirley. Shirley,... see him?
676
00:50:25,284 --> 00:50:27,289
What, the walking groin?
677
00:50:27,651 --> 00:50:30,747
Shir', listen, he's just invited me out to dinner.
678
00:50:31,651 --> 00:50:33,369
- What?
- Tonight.
679
00:50:33,476 --> 00:50:36,251
He's got a villa on the other
side of the island from us,
680
00:50:36,355 --> 00:50:40,631
with an olive grove.
Well, Shirl', it's only for tonight.
681
00:50:40,642 --> 00:50:44,481
We'll still do all the things we planned.
You don't mind, do you?
682
00:50:46,306 --> 00:50:48,442
Listen, Jane, I think you've probably blown the
683
00:50:48,451 --> 00:50:51,872
'Feminist of the year' award,
so just leave it out, will ya?
684
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:55,069
I mean, obviously, it's been a difficult time for you,
685
00:50:55,075 --> 00:50:57,883
since your fella ran off with the milkman,
686
00:50:57,891 --> 00:50:59,777
and now you've got this opportunity,
687
00:50:59,778 --> 00:51:01,628
I don't want you to give another thought to me.
688
00:51:01,731 --> 00:51:07,066
You... you go to his villa, and enjoy yourself.
Give his olives a good pressing!
689
00:51:07,363 --> 00:51:10,939
Shirley,... thanks for being so understanding.
690
00:51:17,376 --> 00:51:18,783
Shirley.
691
00:51:20,384 --> 00:51:23,101
Shirley,... where are ya going?
692
00:51:23,105 --> 00:51:24,731
We said we'd gift you a lift to the ferry.
693
00:51:24,738 --> 00:51:27,482
No, I'm fine on me own, thanks.
694
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:43,765
Alright, love?
695
00:52:13,566 --> 00:52:16,053
Here we are, love. You sit here.
696
00:52:16,096 --> 00:52:19,038
Oh, no, no, thanks.
I'd rather stand; you can see more.
697
00:52:19,135 --> 00:52:20,889
I don't blame you, love.
698
00:52:20,896 --> 00:52:23,325
You don't know what's
been on these seats, do ya?
699
00:52:23,423 --> 00:52:25,496
D'ya know what I mean?
700
00:52:51,143 --> 00:52:54,904
- We usually go to Laurette, don't we?
- We couldn't get booked, could we?
701
00:52:54,928 --> 00:52:57,570
- Aye, we usually go to Majorca, but...
- Ah, yes.
702
00:53:04,092 --> 00:53:06,549
The travel agent said we'd like it here.
703
00:53:07,141 --> 00:53:10,207
- I'm a bit dubious myself.
- Where's the disco?
704
00:53:10,287 --> 00:53:13,498
- Where's the bar?
- There's more life in a crematorium.
705
00:53:13,499 --> 00:53:14,937
- Oh, Sydney.
706
00:53:15,272 --> 00:53:17,985
It was like I'd come to the far side of Paradise,...
707
00:53:18,009 --> 00:53:19,923
and I loved it.
708
00:53:22,404 --> 00:53:24,900
Jane never did come back that night, you know,...
709
00:53:24,964 --> 00:53:26,413
or the next morning.
710
00:53:26,652 --> 00:53:28,916
At first, I was a bit scared, being on my own,
711
00:53:28,997 --> 00:53:31,015
but then I found this little place.
712
00:53:31,175 --> 00:53:34,016
I thought, why am I so
terrified of being on me own?
713
00:53:34,017 --> 00:53:37,967
I'm and expert at it!
And then I started to relax.
714
00:53:41,228 --> 00:53:44,201
She still hasn't come back, you know,
has she, wall?
715
00:53:45,256 --> 00:53:47,198
They must be marvellous olives!
716
00:53:55,543 --> 00:53:57,689
Funny, isn't it, that if you're a woman on her own,
717
00:53:57,690 --> 00:54:00,240
it doesn't half seem to upset people.
718
00:54:04,175 --> 00:54:06,998
- Hiya, Renos.
- Good evening, Madam,...
719
00:54:07,192 --> 00:54:08,295
- and how are you this evening?
720
00:54:08,296 --> 00:54:11,970
- Marvellous, thanks. How are you?
- Good, I'm good.
721
00:54:12,067 --> 00:54:14,445
I feel a little pain in the back,
722
00:54:14,446 --> 00:54:19,410
but I say to myself, "If I feel a little pain
in the back, at least it means I'm not dead".
723
00:54:20,945 --> 00:54:23,882
Now, tonight I have for you some calamares,...
724
00:54:23,883 --> 00:54:27,966
cooked with a little garlic, yes...
and butter and lemon. Plenty of Lemon!
725
00:54:27,967 --> 00:54:29,590
- It's beautiful.
- Lovely.
726
00:54:29,591 --> 00:54:31,809
- Bon appetit, Madam.
- Thanks.
727
00:54:36,798 --> 00:54:40,599
Now, listen,... you can't go on like this.
728
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,371
Pardon?
729
00:54:43,810 --> 00:54:45,611
It's not right!
730
00:54:45,804 --> 00:54:48,781
We can't help noticing that you're on your own.
731
00:54:48,782 --> 00:54:49,821
Who?
732
00:54:49,822 --> 00:54:52,383
So we've arranged for another chair at our table.
733
00:54:52,384 --> 00:54:54,545
Oh, no, no, thanks very much, but...
734
00:54:54,546 --> 00:54:56,891
We want you to come and join us.
735
00:54:56,892 --> 00:55:00,277
- No, no, thanks very much. I'd really much...
- Now, come on, love.
736
00:55:00,374 --> 00:55:02,282
I'll take ya drink.
737
00:55:08,902 --> 00:55:11,461
I wouldn't be surprised if they
all burst out into applause,
738
00:55:11,462 --> 00:55:13,381
'cause I've been rescued from loneliness by
739
00:55:13,382 --> 00:55:15,720
Jeannette and Dougie,... from Manchester.
740
00:55:15,721 --> 00:55:17,674
- Make yourself at home.
741
00:55:18,347 --> 00:55:22,664
Now,... have you got a "jacuzzi"?
742
00:55:23,816 --> 00:55:26,449
- Er,... no.
- Well,...
743
00:55:26,450 --> 00:55:30,290
maybe it's just the thing you've been waiting for,...
744
00:55:30,291 --> 00:55:33,612
because you always wanted a jacuzzi,
didn't you, Jeanette?
745
00:55:33,613 --> 00:55:38,219
I'd had dreams about getting a jacuzzi.
Michael Caine's got one, ya know.
746
00:55:38,220 --> 00:55:39,370
Ohhh...
747
00:55:39,370 --> 00:55:41,245
- So, we get this jacuzzi, like,
748
00:55:41,245 --> 00:55:44,855
but what we found was,
we couldn't fit it in our bathroom,...
749
00:55:45,145 --> 00:55:47,063
so, what I did was...
750
00:55:47,159 --> 00:55:50,889
- We built an extension!
- I built an extension, didn't I?
751
00:55:51,178 --> 00:55:53,058
It's a good job we're not having soup,
752
00:55:53,059 --> 00:55:55,292
or I'd put my head in it, and drown myself.
753
00:55:55,390 --> 00:55:58,061
- Finished?
- Well, I couldn't eat that!
754
00:56:02,473 --> 00:56:06,196
You can say what you like...
It's not Laurette, is it?
755
00:56:06,197 --> 00:56:10,552
- Aye, but the thing is, Dougie,
I could like Greece, I could,...
756
00:56:10,553 --> 00:56:12,314
if it were more like Spain.
757
00:56:12,507 --> 00:56:14,666
- I take your point, yeah.
758
00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:19,750
- But, it's not, is it?
- No, it's not, and I'll tell you why...
759
00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:22,424
I'll tell you why Greece isn't like Spain.
760
00:56:22,617 --> 00:56:27,002
Because Greece... well, it's all too Greek.
Take me point?
761
00:56:27,099 --> 00:56:29,341
And that's what's wrong with Greece.
762
00:56:29,821 --> 00:56:31,998
- It's like them fishing boats out there in the bay...
763
00:56:31,999 --> 00:56:34,552
I said to her this morning, didn't I, Thelma?
764
00:56:34,745 --> 00:56:38,707
- I said to her, "If you take a
close look at the side them boats"...
765
00:56:38,708 --> 00:56:41,214
- "You know the bit where it says
the name of the boat builder?"...
766
00:56:41,215 --> 00:56:45,731
- "And I 'll bet you a pound
to a penny, it says Noah".
767
00:56:47,554 --> 00:56:50,602
Didn't I say that to ya? I bloody did!
768
00:56:51,468 --> 00:56:53,282
Okay, excuse me.
769
00:56:53,571 --> 00:56:56,304
You do watch the Olympic games, I take it?
770
00:56:56,496 --> 00:57:00,395
And you do realise it was the Greeks
who invented the Olympic games?
771
00:57:00,396 --> 00:57:04,581
Oh, yes, Jeanette, they invented
a lot of things, the Greeks.
772
00:57:04,582 --> 00:57:06,407
Where do you suppose your jacuzzi came from?
773
00:57:06,505 --> 00:57:09,690
- K-Mart.
- Yes, but who invented it?
774
00:57:09,691 --> 00:57:13,253
The Greeks! Actually, the Greeks.
775
00:57:13,350 --> 00:57:15,510
And it was the Greeks, I'll have you know,
776
00:57:15,511 --> 00:57:19,608
who were responsible for the most
important invention of all... The wheel!
777
00:57:19,801 --> 00:57:22,219
The English? Don't talk to me about the English,
778
00:57:22,220 --> 00:57:25,780
because while the Greeks were building
roads, and cities, and temples,
779
00:57:25,780 --> 00:57:28,384
what were the English doing?
I'll tell you what the English were doing,
780
00:57:28,384 --> 00:57:30,226
they were running around in loincloths,
781
00:57:30,227 --> 00:57:33,630
ploughing up the earth with
the arse bone of a giraffe!
782
00:57:44,469 --> 00:57:45,803
- Madam.
783
00:57:50,119 --> 00:57:54,186
Hey,... mate,... what is this?
784
00:57:54,283 --> 00:57:57,643
- It's calamares, Sir.
- I know that,
785
00:57:57,644 --> 00:58:01,799
but what I'm asking you,... Zorba...
786
00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,248
is, what is it?
787
00:58:04,249 --> 00:58:06,907
Sir, it's calamares.
788
00:58:07,004 --> 00:58:09,717
It's a... type of fish!
789
00:58:10,294 --> 00:58:12,727
Well, it don't look much like fish to me.
790
00:58:12,728 --> 00:58:15,647
Sir, I can promise you, it's fish.
791
00:58:15,648 --> 00:58:19,756
This fish was pulled fresh from
sea this evening by my brother,...
792
00:58:19,757 --> 00:58:22,367
in a boat, called, "Noah".
793
00:58:23,999 --> 00:58:25,770
- Enjoy your meal.
794
00:58:30,469 --> 00:58:33,286
They're that type, you know...
If they'd been at the last supper,
795
00:58:33,286 --> 00:58:35,180
they'd have asked for chips.
796
00:58:37,770 --> 00:58:40,039
Very nice the squid, isn't it?
797
00:58:43,012 --> 00:58:44,454
What?
798
00:58:45,029 --> 00:58:48,757
I say, the squid, the octopus,... it's really quite nice.
799
00:59:20,119 --> 00:59:21,585
- Madam...
800
00:59:21,586 --> 00:59:24,538
- You will join with your friends?
- No, I don't think so, Renos.
801
00:59:24,539 --> 00:59:28,069
After what I said at dinner time,
I don't think I'd be too popular, do you?
802
00:59:28,070 --> 00:59:33,248
- Maybe not. Have a good evening.
- Thank you, Renos.
803
01:00:33,707 --> 01:00:35,422
You like something?
804
01:00:35,709 --> 01:00:38,303
Er, yeah, I'd like a drink please.
805
01:00:38,304 --> 01:00:41,152
Sure... Gin, whisky, what?
806
01:00:41,153 --> 01:00:44,042
Er, no, wine. Weak,... weak wine.
807
01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:45,595
- Ah, retsina?
808
01:00:45,789 --> 01:00:50,993
- Will I like that?
- It's Greek. I think you like.
809
01:00:51,954 --> 01:00:53,522
Spiro, retsina.
810
01:00:53,523 --> 01:00:55,349
Hey, hey, hey, excuse me.
811
01:00:56,789 --> 01:00:59,342
I know this sounds a bit soft, but would you mind,...
812
01:00:59,343 --> 01:01:04,144
I mean like, would you object if I was
to move this table and chair over there
813
01:01:04,145 --> 01:01:06,326
by the edge of the sea?
814
01:01:08,821 --> 01:01:12,017
You want I move table, chair to edge of sea?
815
01:01:12,784 --> 01:01:15,554
- Yeah.
- Why?
816
01:01:15,651 --> 01:01:17,421
You don't like my bar?
817
01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:19,200
Yeah,...
818
01:01:19,201 --> 01:01:21,503
it's a lovely bar, it's,...
819
01:01:21,598 --> 01:01:23,864
it's just that I've got this soft little dream about
820
01:01:23,865 --> 01:01:25,938
sitting at a table by the edge of the sea.
821
01:01:25,939 --> 01:01:28,067
Ah, a dream.
822
01:01:28,643 --> 01:01:31,975
So, I move table to edge of sea,...
823
01:01:32,646 --> 01:01:35,154
I make your dream come true?
824
01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:39,068
Yeah, I think so.
825
01:01:40,027 --> 01:01:42,493
Sure, it's no problem.
826
01:02:06,662 --> 01:02:08,943
- Thanks.
- Oh, it's my pleasure.
827
01:02:09,424 --> 01:02:12,441
I move table to sea, and tonight in my bar,
828
01:02:12,442 --> 01:02:15,083
I can tell the customers, "Tonight...", er,...
829
01:02:15,084 --> 01:02:19,681
"Tonight, I make someone's dream come true".
Please...
830
01:03:03,703 --> 01:03:05,513
It's funny, isn't it?
831
01:03:06,666 --> 01:03:09,340
You know, when you picture something,...
832
01:03:09,532 --> 01:03:11,484
and you've imagined how something's going to be...
833
01:03:11,485 --> 01:03:14,337
Well, it never turns out like that, does it?
834
01:03:16,256 --> 01:03:19,738
I mean, for weeks I've pictured myself sitting here,...
835
01:03:20,699 --> 01:03:23,542
sitting here, drinking wine, by the sea,
836
01:03:23,542 --> 01:03:26,643
and, and, I knew exactly how I was going to feel.
837
01:03:29,522 --> 01:03:32,335
Now I'm here, it doesn't feel a bit like that.
838
01:03:34,445 --> 01:03:37,612
I don't feel at all lovely, and serene. I feel...
839
01:03:39,593 --> 01:03:41,741
pretty daft, actually.
840
01:03:43,852 --> 01:03:45,596
- And awfully,...
841
01:03:46,173 --> 01:03:48,091
- awfully old.
842
01:03:55,379 --> 01:03:57,480
- I've lead such a little life,...
843
01:03:59,591 --> 01:04:02,389
and even that could be over pretty soon.
844
01:04:04,787 --> 01:04:09,293
I have... allowed myself to lead this little life,
845
01:04:09,294 --> 01:04:11,964
when inside me, there is so much more,...
846
01:04:14,075 --> 01:04:16,165
and it's all gone unused,...
847
01:04:17,413 --> 01:04:19,484
and now it never will be.
848
01:04:23,416 --> 01:04:27,061
Why do we get all this life if we don't ever use it?
849
01:04:28,885 --> 01:04:30,927
Why do we get all these...
850
01:04:32,846 --> 01:04:34,451
feelings,...
851
01:04:36,273 --> 01:04:38,926
and dreams, and hopes...
852
01:04:41,133 --> 01:04:43,488
if we don't ever use them?
853
01:04:48,860 --> 01:04:51,695
That's where Shirley Valentine disappeared to.
854
01:04:53,517 --> 01:04:56,758
She got lost in all this unused life.
855
01:05:29,271 --> 01:05:30,811
Dreams,...
856
01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:35,936
they are never in the place you expect them to be.
857
01:05:47,540 --> 01:05:51,203
Come, I er,... I escort you to your hotel.
858
01:05:53,985 --> 01:05:55,351
Okay.
859
01:05:58,516 --> 01:06:02,262
I am... I am Costas Demitriadis.
860
01:06:03,032 --> 01:06:04,497
I'm Shirley...
861
01:06:05,555 --> 01:06:07,524
- Hello.
- Hello.
862
01:06:17,787 --> 01:06:19,179
Thanks for seeing me home.
863
01:06:19,180 --> 01:06:21,803
No, I er,... I enjoy it.
864
01:06:25,831 --> 01:06:27,267
So...
865
01:06:28,418 --> 01:06:31,485
Er,... tomorrow, you want come with me?
866
01:06:31,869 --> 01:06:32,845
Pardon?
867
01:06:32,846 --> 01:06:36,696
I... I take brother's boat. We go round the island.
868
01:06:37,656 --> 01:06:39,184
Oh, no, no, thanks.
869
01:06:39,185 --> 01:06:41,539
I mean, honestly, you've been really kind, but...
870
01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:43,012
No, it's no problem.
871
01:06:43,396 --> 01:06:47,463
It's no problem. It's my pleasure.
I umm, I come bring you early.
872
01:06:47,752 --> 01:06:50,513
No,... no, no, really. I don't think I should, because...
873
01:06:50,514 --> 01:06:53,619
- You're afraid.
- No, no, of course not.
874
01:06:53,620 --> 01:06:54,788
You're afraid.
875
01:06:54,789 --> 01:06:58,015
You're afraid that, I want make fuck with you.
876
01:06:58,592 --> 01:07:00,004
What?
877
01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:02,403
Hahaha...
878
01:07:02,883 --> 01:07:05,123
Of course, I want make fuck with you...
879
01:07:05,124 --> 01:07:06,757
You are beautiful woman...
880
01:07:06,758 --> 01:07:09,743
A man would be crazy not to
want make fuck with you,
881
01:07:09,744 --> 01:07:12,665
but... I don't ask you to fuck.
882
01:07:13,049 --> 01:07:15,446
I ask to come on brother's boat.
883
01:07:15,735 --> 01:07:17,270
Different thing.
884
01:07:17,749 --> 01:07:19,134
Boat is boat,...
885
01:07:19,519 --> 01:07:20,959
fuck is fuck.
886
01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:23,516
- Absolutely... bloody... charming!
887
01:07:25,436 --> 01:07:28,892
So, I er,... I come er,...
tomorrow morning 9 o'clock umm,
888
01:07:28,893 --> 01:07:32,305
I bring food, I bring wine, and we go.
889
01:07:32,786 --> 01:07:37,219
Er, tomorrow umm,... I just er,...
make you happy, eh?
890
01:07:37,602 --> 01:07:39,404
No need to be sad.
891
01:07:40,077 --> 01:07:44,632
- And no need to be afraid.
I give word of honour...
892
01:07:45,209 --> 01:07:48,920
I don't try... to make fuck with you.
893
01:07:51,893 --> 01:07:53,208
Okay?
894
01:07:55,319 --> 01:07:56,657
Okay.
895
01:07:58,481 --> 01:08:00,375
See ya in the morning.
896
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:19,106
Oh, God,... he's come up to me room!
897
01:08:20,738 --> 01:08:22,604
Alright, I'm coming!
898
01:08:27,784 --> 01:08:30,657
Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me?
899
01:08:31,042 --> 01:08:33,718
I've been completely selfish, haven't I?
900
01:08:35,444 --> 01:08:37,519
But I'm going to make it up to you.
901
01:08:38,673 --> 01:08:40,536
- Oh, c'mon, say you forgive me.
902
01:08:40,537 --> 01:08:43,491
- Let's make today the real start of our holiday.
903
01:08:43,682 --> 01:08:46,283
I've hired the car. We'll tow the island...
904
01:08:46,284 --> 01:08:49,726
- Stop off and have lunch somewhere really nice,
just the 2 of us.
905
01:08:50,305 --> 01:08:53,169
Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me?
906
01:08:53,843 --> 01:08:55,984
Of course I forgive you.
907
01:08:55,985 --> 01:08:57,233
- Awww.
908
01:09:00,014 --> 01:09:02,786
I know you must have been
having the most awful time.
909
01:09:03,554 --> 01:09:06,691
I suppose you've just been sitting here,
talking to the wall, haven't you?
910
01:09:06,691 --> 01:09:09,874
Nevermind, I'll do a quick change,
and we'll get straight off.
911
01:09:17,644 --> 01:09:19,525
Yes, what is it, room service?
912
01:09:19,910 --> 01:09:21,831
Shirley, did you order something?
913
01:09:23,463 --> 01:09:24,609
Shirley.
914
01:09:25,184 --> 01:09:27,137
Shirley, you come now?... You late!
915
01:09:27,138 --> 01:09:32,317
I put umm,... food, wine on boat,
and I wait down, but you don't come.
916
01:09:32,414 --> 01:09:36,334
Then... I realisation... umm...
917
01:09:36,335 --> 01:09:41,092
Shirley and me, we are er,
going bed so late last night,
918
01:09:41,093 --> 01:09:41,763
umm,...
919
01:09:41,763 --> 01:09:44,328
- probaby, she's er, overslept.
920
01:09:44,425 --> 01:09:45,767
Oh,... yeah.
921
01:09:45,863 --> 01:09:48,064
- So, umm,... you come now?
922
01:09:48,257 --> 01:09:50,018
I er,... I wait down.
923
01:09:50,403 --> 01:09:52,293
Please... Please hurry.
924
01:09:53,637 --> 01:09:58,111
Oh, I... I umm, apologise for the interrupt...
925
01:09:58,112 --> 01:10:00,751
You may now continue cleaning room.
926
01:10:04,972 --> 01:10:06,257
Shirley...
927
01:10:07,026 --> 01:10:08,464
What are you playing at?!
928
01:10:08,464 --> 01:10:11,777
Me?! You're the one that went
off with the 'walking groin'!
929
01:10:11,778 --> 01:10:14,269
Now, look, Shirley,
you've never been abroad before.
930
01:10:14,270 --> 01:10:17,844
- You don't know what you're doing.
- Jane, he's just a kind man.
931
01:10:17,845 --> 01:10:21,567
Oh, Shirley! Men like that,
these Greek islanders,...
932
01:10:21,568 --> 01:10:23,450
they're just waiting for bored, middle aged women!
933
01:10:23,451 --> 01:10:24,840
Don't you dare!
934
01:10:28,293 --> 01:10:29,463
Shirley!
935
01:10:30,616 --> 01:10:32,680
I just hope you know what you're doing.
936
01:10:32,681 --> 01:10:34,818
I hope for your sake, you're going to be safe.
937
01:10:34,819 --> 01:10:37,460
Oh, I'm sure I will. He's a very good sailor...
938
01:10:37,652 --> 01:10:39,558
And anyway, he's given me his word of honour,
939
01:10:39,559 --> 01:10:41,728
he won't try and make fuck with me.
940
01:10:43,935 --> 01:10:46,867
Dougie! Jeannette! How are you both?
941
01:10:46,868 --> 01:10:48,412
This is my friend Jane.
942
01:10:48,413 --> 01:10:51,013
I was just telling her what
a marvellous couple you are.
943
01:10:51,398 --> 01:10:52,959
Do you know what she said?
944
01:10:53,823 --> 01:10:56,728
She said, she'd love to spend an
hour or 2 on the beach with you.
945
01:10:57,019 --> 01:10:58,443
Bye, bye, Jane.
946
01:10:59,306 --> 01:11:02,534
Well, we were just off to the beach, actually.
947
01:11:03,014 --> 01:11:06,301
You come with us, love. You're more than welcome.
948
01:11:32,773 --> 01:11:34,775
I'm steering the boat, you know.
949
01:11:50,698 --> 01:11:53,571
Shall we try to pass in this direction...
950
01:11:54,243 --> 01:11:57,089
Er, there we are going to find er, small bay.
951
01:11:57,379 --> 01:11:59,105
Very beautiful...
952
01:12:00,543 --> 01:12:02,337
There we are going to fish,...
953
01:12:02,338 --> 01:12:05,069
er, we eat, drink,... talk.
954
01:12:06,029 --> 01:12:07,181
Come on.
955
01:12:37,105 --> 01:12:39,677
- ...but with the rope, you know...
- Ohhh...
956
01:12:45,912 --> 01:12:49,844
- What is it with you, Costas?
- No, I don't, er...
957
01:12:50,420 --> 01:12:53,158
You really know how to talk to women, don't you?
958
01:12:53,638 --> 01:12:54,919
Well, I...
959
01:12:55,782 --> 01:12:57,678
I mean, most fellas, you know,
960
01:12:57,679 --> 01:12:59,712
they've got no idea how to talk to a woman.
961
01:12:59,809 --> 01:13:01,628
- No?
- No.
962
01:13:01,915 --> 01:13:03,975
They feel they have to take over the conversation.
963
01:13:05,221 --> 01:13:07,615
I mean... I mean, with most fellas,
if you say something like...
964
01:13:07,616 --> 01:13:09,800
like, "My favourite season's Autumn", they go,
965
01:13:09,801 --> 01:13:11,746
"Oh, is it? My favourite season's Spring",
966
01:13:11,747 --> 01:13:13,924
and then you've got 10 minutes of them
talking about why they like Spring,
967
01:13:13,925 --> 01:13:16,812
and you aint talking about Spring...
You're talking about Autumn.
968
01:13:20,936 --> 01:13:22,559
So, what d'ya do?
969
01:13:25,437 --> 01:13:27,615
Talk about what they want to talk about,...
970
01:13:28,862 --> 01:13:32,847
or you don't talk at all,...
or you wind up talking to yourself.
971
01:13:36,973 --> 01:13:38,641
You don't do that.
972
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:41,038
No, I know...
973
01:13:41,711 --> 01:13:44,427
I er,... I just like er, listen...
974
01:13:45,675 --> 01:13:47,357
Also look.
975
01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:54,497
For you, I umm,...
976
01:13:55,361 --> 01:13:56,907
I happy.
977
01:14:06,210 --> 01:14:07,560
Hey, Costas,...
978
01:14:08,328 --> 01:14:10,150
how deep do you think it is down there?
979
01:14:10,246 --> 01:14:13,991
- Oh, maybe a thousand metres.
- Go away!
980
01:14:14,856 --> 01:14:17,819
Maybe er, maybe 10 thousand. Who knows?
981
01:14:19,067 --> 01:14:20,909
Maybe... maybe it's so deep,
982
01:14:21,677 --> 01:14:23,737
it will go on forever.
983
01:14:25,367 --> 01:14:27,928
- I wanna jump in.
- Do you wanna swim?
984
01:14:28,505 --> 01:14:30,334
I wanna jump off the roof!
985
01:14:33,213 --> 01:14:36,945
I think umm,... Shirley Valentine is umm,
986
01:14:36,946 --> 01:14:38,193
little bit crazy.
987
01:14:38,480 --> 01:14:39,463
Costas,...
988
01:14:39,464 --> 01:14:43,108
Shirley Valentine is loop-the-fucking-loop!
989
01:14:43,204 --> 01:14:45,060
Loop-the-fucking-loop?
990
01:14:45,061 --> 01:14:47,767
The only thing is, I... I haven't got me cozzy on.
991
01:14:48,248 --> 01:14:50,015
Now, cozzy, what is?
992
01:14:50,304 --> 01:14:52,318
My swimming costume.
993
01:14:52,311 --> 01:14:53,654
Ahha!
994
01:15:32,209 --> 01:15:33,168
Hey!
995
01:15:51,966 --> 01:15:54,272
It's marvellous to be with such a good man.
996
01:15:55,808 --> 01:15:58,884
I know whatever happens,
he won't take anything from me.
997
01:16:00,515 --> 01:16:02,509
I know he'll keep his promise.
998
01:16:03,373 --> 01:16:06,048
The truth is, I don't want him to.
999
01:17:12,416 --> 01:17:14,256
Oh my God!...
1000
01:17:14,353 --> 01:17:16,846
Where did that orchestra come from?!
1001
01:17:17,423 --> 01:17:18,669
Ohh...!
1002
01:17:29,409 --> 01:17:30,463
Oh!...
1003
01:17:33,918 --> 01:17:35,657
He kissed me stretch marks!
1004
01:17:36,712 --> 01:17:38,565
You kissed my stretch marks!
1005
01:17:38,757 --> 01:17:40,195
Oh,... my,...
1006
01:17:40,676 --> 01:17:41,539
don't...
1007
01:17:41,538 --> 01:17:44,542
don't be too stupid to try to hide these lines.
1008
01:17:44,548 --> 01:17:46,555
They... they are lovely,
1009
01:17:46,556 --> 01:17:48,624
because they are part of you,
1010
01:17:48,720 --> 01:17:50,133
and you are lovely,
1011
01:17:50,134 --> 01:17:51,764
so, don't umm,...
1012
01:17:51,765 --> 01:17:53,204
don't hide.
1013
01:17:53,203 --> 01:17:55,331
Be proud, eh. Show them.
1014
01:17:55,332 --> 01:17:58,270
These... these marks show that er,...
1015
01:17:58,271 --> 01:17:59,806
That you're alive...
1016
01:17:59,901 --> 01:18:01,578
That you survive.
1017
01:18:02,059 --> 01:18:05,860
Don't try to hide these lines.
They are the marks of life.
1018
01:18:06,245 --> 01:18:08,524
Aren't men full of shit?!
1019
01:18:21,471 --> 01:18:23,492
I think I've fallen in love.
1020
01:18:25,508 --> 01:18:27,218
Oh, for God's sake, Shirley!
1021
01:18:27,219 --> 01:18:29,174
You're acting like a stupid teenager!
1022
01:18:29,749 --> 01:18:31,734
I s'pose the next thing you're gonna tell me was that
1023
01:18:31,735 --> 01:18:33,215
the earth moved.
1024
01:18:33,312 --> 01:18:35,569
Jane, I thought there'd been an earthquake.
1025
01:18:35,570 --> 01:18:38,053
Oh, spare me the details,... please!
1026
01:18:39,396 --> 01:18:41,479
Oh, listen, Jane...
1027
01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:42,728
Jane, listen!
1028
01:18:43,016 --> 01:18:45,313
I... I haven't fallen in love with him.
1029
01:18:45,795 --> 01:18:49,395
It was sweet. It was a day full of... kindness,
1030
01:18:49,876 --> 01:18:51,901
but I haven't fallen in love with him!
1031
01:18:52,285 --> 01:18:53,244
- Pffft.
1032
01:18:56,697 --> 01:18:58,566
I haven't fallen in love with him,...
1033
01:19:00,965 --> 01:19:03,642
I've fallen in love with the idea of living.
1034
01:19:05,943 --> 01:19:07,104
Why?
1035
01:19:07,584 --> 01:19:09,812
I mean, why'd she have to do this to me?
1036
01:19:10,867 --> 01:19:12,780
If she wanted to go on holiday...
1037
01:19:12,972 --> 01:19:16,297
all she had to do was ask. I'd have let her.
1038
01:19:17,257 --> 01:19:19,185
There was no need for deceit.
1039
01:19:19,474 --> 01:19:22,452
I mean, I may not be the best
husband in the world,... wall,
1040
01:19:22,453 --> 01:19:23,699
but I love her.
1041
01:19:23,795 --> 01:19:27,088
I do, I love her... Honest!
1042
01:19:27,664 --> 01:19:29,178
Flowers...
1043
01:19:29,947 --> 01:19:32,025
- Are they good?
- Yes, good flowers.
1044
01:19:32,314 --> 01:19:34,184
- How much is it?
- 500
1045
01:19:36,583 --> 01:19:37,638
Here ya are.
1046
01:19:37,926 --> 01:19:41,576
- Thank you very much.
- Oh, thank you.
1047
01:19:45,797 --> 01:19:47,862
- Bravo, Miguelo! Bravo!
1048
01:19:49,972 --> 01:19:51,412
- Bravo, Miguelo!
1049
01:20:21,142 --> 01:20:22,393
Shirley!
1050
01:20:23,641 --> 01:20:26,201
Come this way, come... Join the family.
1051
01:20:26,202 --> 01:20:27,448
My neice is becoming married.
1052
01:20:27,452 --> 01:20:28,691
No, no, I can't.
1053
01:20:28,691 --> 01:20:30,645
- I would be interfering...
- Oh, come, come, look, please.
1054
01:20:30,837 --> 01:20:33,291
It's good... it's good that we meet here.
1055
01:22:38,544 --> 01:22:39,803
Bravo!
1056
01:22:46,805 --> 01:22:49,202
- You enjoy this wedding?
- It's wonderful!
1057
01:22:50,737 --> 01:22:53,236
The man that standing there, in the denim jacket...
1058
01:22:54,100 --> 01:22:55,844
I'll tell you something really funny...
1059
01:22:56,038 --> 01:22:59,778
For 2 years...
- Sorry, Madam, I need to borrow Costas!
1060
01:23:37,283 --> 01:23:39,396
Shirley... Shirley...
1061
01:23:39,397 --> 01:23:40,837
Where are you going?
1062
01:23:40,845 --> 01:23:44,109
You don't like my family, my friends?
1063
01:23:44,109 --> 01:23:46,536
Oh, no, Costas, they're lovely!
1064
01:23:46,537 --> 01:23:48,765
So, why... why you go?
1065
01:23:48,861 --> 01:23:52,219
I just... I just wanna be on my own for a bit.
1066
01:23:53,571 --> 01:23:54,718
Do you undertstand?
1067
01:23:55,679 --> 01:23:57,713
You... you are again sad?
1068
01:23:58,962 --> 01:23:59,882
No.
1069
01:24:00,842 --> 01:24:02,732
No, I'm not sad, it's...
1070
01:24:02,924 --> 01:24:05,423
just that I go back home... soon.
1071
01:24:06,670 --> 01:24:09,153
Back to your own life.
1072
01:24:10,209 --> 01:24:11,510
Yeah.
1073
01:24:13,813 --> 01:24:17,062
Go on,.... go, go back, they're all waiting for ya!
1074
01:24:17,063 --> 01:24:18,218
Why...?
1075
01:24:20,712 --> 01:24:24,374
- I... I see you tomorrow?
- Yeah, see you tomorrow.
1076
01:24:45,476 --> 01:24:47,631
I've got this thought in my head.
1077
01:24:49,838 --> 01:24:51,601
This shocking thought,
1078
01:24:53,136 --> 01:24:54,819
and it won't go away.
1079
01:24:56,642 --> 01:24:59,347
I keep trying to think of other things,...
1080
01:24:59,348 --> 01:25:01,810
to make this thought go away, but it won't.
1081
01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:06,248
It's always there, in me head.
1082
01:25:19,484 --> 01:25:21,033
If...
1083
01:25:24,200 --> 01:25:28,107
if for some reason... I didn't go back home,...
1084
01:25:30,507 --> 01:25:32,546
who would miss me?
1085
01:25:43,670 --> 01:25:44,726
Aye?
1086
01:25:45,589 --> 01:25:49,121
- 2 coffees, please.
- Oh, yeah.
1087
01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:53,162
Yeah, 2 coffees... Right.
1088
01:25:57,574 --> 01:25:59,176
I mean, look...
1089
01:25:59,848 --> 01:26:02,628
If I didn't go back, who would really care?
1090
01:26:03,971 --> 01:26:10,032
They... they... they'd notice I wasn't there,
but they wouldn'y miss me,... would they?
1091
01:26:13,965 --> 01:26:18,013
Why should I go back to being that woman,
when that woman isn't needed anymore?
1092
01:26:19,357 --> 01:26:20,625
I told ya,...
1093
01:26:22,928 --> 01:26:25,021
there's nothing else for me to do.
1094
01:26:29,432 --> 01:26:30,487
Oh.
1095
01:26:32,215 --> 01:26:35,785
- Shirley, who are you talking?
- The wall, Costas...
1096
01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:37,704
Just the wall.
1097
01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:41,411
My God!
1098
01:26:45,631 --> 01:26:47,833
Excuse me, waiter.
1099
01:26:47,834 --> 01:26:49,915
I'm serious, Jane. I mean it.
1100
01:26:49,916 --> 01:26:52,693
Oh, for God's sake!
What about your children, for a start?!
1101
01:26:52,694 --> 01:26:55,583
What about them? They're grown up.
1102
01:26:55,584 --> 01:26:59,243
Jane, I've spent 20 odd years, rearing them,
1103
01:26:59,244 --> 01:27:01,579
looking after them 'til they were
old enough to make their own way,
1104
01:27:01,580 --> 01:27:03,230
and they have... They've gone.
1105
01:27:03,806 --> 01:27:07,808
Oh, I mean, they'll say it's awful...
They'll say it's terrible
1106
01:27:07,809 --> 01:27:11,530
to have a Mother who went on holiday,
and didn't come back, but...
1107
01:27:11,531 --> 01:27:13,116
they'll get over it.
1108
01:27:14,363 --> 01:27:15,707
I mean,...
1109
01:27:16,091 --> 01:27:19,580
would it cause anyone any real
suffering if I didn't go home?
1110
01:27:21,883 --> 01:27:25,341
- Would it, Jane?
- Shirley, every year,
1111
01:27:25,342 --> 01:27:27,943
millions and millions of people go on holiday,
1112
01:27:27,944 --> 01:27:31,582
and every year, those same millions and
millions of people have such a good time
1113
01:27:31,583 --> 01:27:33,428
that they don't wanna go back.
1114
01:27:34,004 --> 01:27:36,668
- Yeah, but just supposing...
- And that's all there is to it.
1115
01:27:36,669 --> 01:27:39,887
Now, if you don't mind, Shirley,
I'm trying to order lunch.
1116
01:27:40,848 --> 01:27:43,035
Can we have 2 Greek salads please?
1117
01:27:43,514 --> 01:27:46,508
- And... stuffed tomatoes.
- Yeah.
1118
01:27:46,797 --> 01:27:48,341
- And is the mussaka special?
- Yes.
1119
01:27:48,438 --> 01:27:51,574
- Yeah, mussaka special please.
- And one lamb with green beans.
1120
01:27:51,575 --> 01:27:52,555
- Yeah,...
1121
01:27:53,994 --> 01:27:56,899
because we don't do what
we want to do, do we?
1122
01:27:57,571 --> 01:28:00,784
We do what we have to do,
and pretend it's what we want to do.
1123
01:28:01,647 --> 01:28:06,252
And what I want to do is to stay here,
and be Shirley Valentine,...
1124
01:28:07,211 --> 01:28:09,612
but what I have to do is to go back,...
1125
01:28:09,612 --> 01:28:12,477
back to being Saint Joan of the kitchen sink.
1126
01:28:16,218 --> 01:28:19,861
- Shirley, come on, it's just going!
- I'm coming!
1127
01:28:20,821 --> 01:28:23,319
Goodbye, Renos... thanks.
1128
01:28:24,087 --> 01:28:26,903
Madam, you come back next year, I hope.
1129
01:28:26,904 --> 01:28:30,972
- Oh, Renos, I hope.
- Good trip, Madam.
1130
01:28:32,796 --> 01:28:34,425
Thank you, Renos.
1131
01:28:36,153 --> 01:28:39,807
- Shirley, your bags are onboard. Come on!
1132
01:28:47,383 --> 01:28:49,740
Shirley! There you go.
1133
01:28:52,138 --> 01:28:55,452
Costas,... we said goodbye.
1134
01:28:55,645 --> 01:28:59,323
Yes, but umm,... I am here.
1135
01:29:01,530 --> 01:29:02,725
So...
1136
01:29:04,452 --> 01:29:06,101
Goodbye, Shirley...
1137
01:29:07,252 --> 01:29:09,553
Goodbye, Shirley Valentine.
1138
01:29:11,473 --> 01:29:12,999
See ya, Costas.
1139
01:29:15,782 --> 01:29:17,892
- Ohhh...
- Ohhh...
1140
01:29:54,528 --> 01:29:56,697
- There are 2 of you?
- Yeah, 2.
1141
01:30:07,057 --> 01:30:08,140
Thank you.
1142
01:30:08,715 --> 01:30:09,771
Right then.
1143
01:30:10,059 --> 01:30:11,443
Your attention please...
1144
01:30:11,444 --> 01:30:15,911
This is the last call for Olympic
Airways flight 259, to Manchester...
1145
01:30:15,912 --> 01:30:18,654
Closing now at gate number 1.
1146
01:30:26,230 --> 01:30:27,544
Shirley!
1147
01:30:28,407 --> 01:30:30,516
Shirley, where are you going?!
1148
01:30:31,475 --> 01:30:32,747
Shirley!
1149
01:30:38,118 --> 01:30:40,871
- She's gone.
- What d'ya expect?
1150
01:30:40,872 --> 01:30:42,543
Jeanette.
1151
01:30:54,820 --> 01:30:57,637
- And tomorrow, we take my brother's boat...
1152
01:30:57,638 --> 01:31:01,082
Go all round the island. Afraid?
1153
01:31:02,522 --> 01:31:05,178
Afraid that I want try make fuck with you.
1154
01:31:05,179 --> 01:31:06,355
What?
1155
01:31:06,739 --> 01:31:10,444
But I don't ask to try to make fuck with you, I...
1156
01:31:10,444 --> 01:31:13,831
I ask to come brother's boat.
It's different thing...
1157
01:31:14,025 --> 01:31:17,617
Boat is boat, and fuck is... fuck.
1158
01:31:21,166 --> 01:31:24,996
My goodness!
E... e... excuse me for one moment.
1159
01:31:27,970 --> 01:31:30,483
It's alright, Costas, you don't have to worry.
1160
01:31:30,676 --> 01:31:32,237
You lose the plane?
1161
01:31:32,238 --> 01:31:35,234
Don't worry, Costas, I haven't come back for you!
1162
01:31:36,385 --> 01:31:39,865
I've come back for a job. A job in this taverna.
1163
01:31:39,866 --> 01:31:43,926
- You sure? You... you want work here?
- Yeah, why not?
1164
01:31:43,927 --> 01:31:46,520
I mean, this place could do with someone to sort it out.
1165
01:31:46,521 --> 01:31:51,179
I mean, given the amount of time
you spend on your brother's boat.
1166
01:32:10,650 --> 01:32:14,286
Sorry, Joe,... she's not coming back.
1167
01:32:20,519 --> 01:32:24,793
...and I'll tell you what, and I'll tell you what,
I said, "Never again, Douglas".
1168
01:33:06,130 --> 01:33:09,761
Shirley...
Someone to see you on the telephone.
1169
01:33:17,914 --> 01:33:20,074
- Hello.
- You're a disgrace!
1170
01:33:20,075 --> 01:33:24,275
A bloody disgrace,... to... t... to the children,
1171
01:33:24,276 --> 01:33:26,921
to me,... to yourself!
1172
01:33:27,306 --> 01:33:30,603
I'm a laughing stock.
That's what I am, a laughing stock!
1173
01:33:30,987 --> 01:33:34,603
- Listen, Joe, umm, I can't talk now, I'm busy.
1174
01:33:34,604 --> 01:33:36,230
- Ya busy doing what? What ya doing?
1175
01:33:36,231 --> 01:33:38,334
I'm... I'm working. D'ya understand?
1176
01:33:38,335 --> 01:33:40,386
No, I bloody don't understand!
1177
01:33:41,249 --> 01:33:43,739
I've taken time from work because of you.
1178
01:33:43,836 --> 01:33:46,452
- Stop this arsing around,
and get yourself back home!
1179
01:33:46,453 --> 01:33:47,936
I've had just about enough...
1180
01:33:48,895 --> 01:33:50,321
Hello?
1181
01:33:50,801 --> 01:33:52,307
Shirley?
1182
01:33:54,036 --> 01:33:55,827
Shirl', are you there?
1183
01:34:05,037 --> 01:34:10,093
- Here, Miss? Er, what's this er, klef...
- Kleftiko. It's very nice.
1184
01:34:10,094 --> 01:34:13,095
- Oh, you're English!
- Well, what a relief!
1185
01:34:13,096 --> 01:34:17,275
- Well, what is this klef... klef...?
- Kleftiko. Oh, it's lovely.
1186
01:34:17,276 --> 01:34:20,269
It's lamb cooked very,
very slowly in oregano.
1187
01:34:20,462 --> 01:34:24,399
- No, I... I... I don't think so.
- It's all bit umm, umm,...
1188
01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:28,386
Tell ya what. Listen er, it's not on the menu,
1189
01:34:28,387 --> 01:34:30,668
but would ya like me to do
ya both some chips n' egg?
1190
01:34:30,669 --> 01:34:33,093
- Ohhh, yes!
- Smashing!
1191
01:34:33,286 --> 01:34:34,556
Right.
1192
01:34:37,337 --> 01:34:40,572
- I'm phoning from work, because
our phone's out of order, that's why.
1193
01:34:40,572 --> 01:34:41,875
- Why?
1194
01:34:41,971 --> 01:34:44,013
It's costing me a bleeding
fortune this time of the day...
1195
01:34:44,014 --> 01:34:45,567
Now, listen to me, Shirl',...
1196
01:34:45,664 --> 01:34:47,697
you belong back here!
1197
01:34:48,178 --> 01:34:50,851
Don't put the phone down.
Don't... Hello, Shirley?
1198
01:34:51,044 --> 01:34:52,344
Now, listen,...
1199
01:34:52,536 --> 01:34:55,418
Jane's told me all about it, you know, about umm,...
1200
01:34:55,610 --> 01:34:58,833
about you, making a fool of yourself
with this holiday romance thing.
1201
01:34:58,834 --> 01:35:01,306
- No... no, Joe, you've got it all wrong.
1202
01:35:01,307 --> 01:35:05,188
- O... o... okay umm,... alright,
okay, it happens, okay,
1203
01:35:05,189 --> 01:35:08,824
middle aged women makes fools of
themselves when they go abroad,
1204
01:35:09,112 --> 01:35:13,515
but look, I'm prepared to
forgive ya, if you're prepared
1205
01:35:13,611 --> 01:35:17,261
to promise that you'll get yourself on a plane,
1206
01:35:17,262 --> 01:35:18,887
and get yourself back home.
1207
01:35:18,888 --> 01:35:22,083
Joe, will ya listen for one moment?
Will ya just listen?!
1208
01:35:23,522 --> 01:35:27,125
The only holiday romance I've had is with myself,...
1209
01:35:28,086 --> 01:35:29,348
and...
1210
01:35:29,637 --> 01:35:32,513
and I think I've come to like myself really.
1211
01:35:32,994 --> 01:35:34,818
I think I'm alright.
1212
01:35:35,491 --> 01:35:39,376
I think if I saw myself, I'd say, "That woman's okay".
1213
01:35:40,240 --> 01:35:43,424
- But, Shirl', ya can't just run away from life.
1214
01:35:43,425 --> 01:35:45,578
- That's right, Joe, I agree with you!
1215
01:35:46,060 --> 01:35:47,708
And now that I have found some life,
1216
01:35:47,708 --> 01:35:50,260
I have no intention of running away from it.
1217
01:35:50,261 --> 01:35:51,527
- But you belong back here.
1218
01:35:51,528 --> 01:35:53,992
- Please, Joe. It's no good to keep phoning,
1219
01:35:53,993 --> 01:35:55,787
because I'm not coming back.
1220
01:35:57,226 --> 01:35:59,854
Can't you understand? I'm not coming home.
1221
01:36:00,719 --> 01:36:03,081
But, Shirley, don't you understand, love,...
1222
01:36:03,656 --> 01:36:04,839
you don't know what you're saying,
1223
01:36:04,840 --> 01:36:08,274
because you're going through the... the change of life.
1224
01:36:08,563 --> 01:36:12,511
That's right, Joe. That's exactly what it is...
1225
01:36:13,279 --> 01:36:15,182
It's a change of life.
1226
01:36:18,923 --> 01:36:21,004
Why don't you go and see her, Dad?
1227
01:36:21,964 --> 01:36:24,398
She's in Greece.
She's not down the soddin' road!
1228
01:36:24,399 --> 01:36:27,008
- So? Go to Greece!.
- Go to Greece...
1229
01:36:27,296 --> 01:36:28,939
I've got a business to run!
1230
01:36:29,419 --> 01:36:31,360
What is it with people when they get old?
1231
01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:34,717
Old?... Who's old? I'm only in my forties.
1232
01:36:34,719 --> 01:36:37,992
Yeah, I know,... but you're frightened, aren't ya?
1233
01:36:38,377 --> 01:36:39,464
Frightened of what?
1234
01:36:39,465 --> 01:36:41,948
You're frightened of anything that's different, Dad.
1235
01:36:43,099 --> 01:36:46,902
I used to like you,... I did!
You were great, you know...
1236
01:36:46,903 --> 01:36:49,562
Used to laugh, used to talk to us all.
1237
01:36:51,002 --> 01:36:53,732
You've not half become a boring bastard.
1238
01:36:58,335 --> 01:37:00,063
Oh, here she is!
1239
01:37:00,256 --> 01:37:02,471
- Chips n' egg?
- Smashing!
1240
01:37:05,828 --> 01:37:08,346
- Hello, Costas.
- Hello, Shirl'.
1241
01:37:08,347 --> 01:37:09,498
Hey,...
1242
01:37:09,786 --> 01:37:11,704
come for you, one telegram.
1243
01:37:11,801 --> 01:37:12,951
- Oh...
1244
01:37:15,827 --> 01:37:17,093
Bad news?
1245
01:37:17,956 --> 01:37:19,203
No.
1246
01:37:19,685 --> 01:37:22,085
- No, not really, it's from Joe.
- Ah.
1247
01:37:22,086 --> 01:37:24,496
He's coming to fetch me, to take me back home.
1248
01:37:24,688 --> 01:37:27,750
God, love him.
He must have been watching "Rambo"!
1249
01:37:28,421 --> 01:37:29,571
"Rambo?".
1250
01:37:29,572 --> 01:37:32,311
- What, Joe is coming here?
- Yeah.
1251
01:37:32,695 --> 01:37:35,279
- When er, when he come?
- Er, Friday.
1252
01:37:35,280 --> 01:37:39,215
- Friday er,... tomorrow Friday?
- Yeah.
1253
01:37:40,655 --> 01:37:45,183
Yeah, that's, ohhh, it's pity because...
umm, I received telephone call,
1254
01:37:45,184 --> 01:37:49,747
I must go... er, in Athens.
Er, my sister's very sick... umm,....
1255
01:37:49,748 --> 01:37:52,118
she want me to... to be.
1256
01:37:52,790 --> 01:37:53,891
So...
1257
01:37:54,274 --> 01:37:55,714
I sorry.
1258
01:37:56,672 --> 01:37:58,243
You understand, Shirley?
1259
01:37:58,818 --> 01:38:02,353
Ohhh, yeahhh, Costas, of course I understand!
1260
01:38:06,382 --> 01:38:07,584
Goodnight, Shirley.
1261
01:38:07,585 --> 01:38:09,519
- Goodnight, Julie. Goodnight, John.
1262
01:39:23,078 --> 01:39:25,553
Aww, I hope he stays for a while.
1263
01:39:27,281 --> 01:39:29,284
He needs a holiday.
1264
01:39:30,723 --> 01:39:32,589
He needs to feel the sun on his skin,
1265
01:39:32,590 --> 01:39:35,683
and to be in water that's as deep as forever.
1266
01:40:11,073 --> 01:40:12,458
Joe.
1267
01:40:27,707 --> 01:40:29,606
I didn't recognise ya.
1268
01:40:30,566 --> 01:40:31,928
I know.
1269
01:40:33,464 --> 01:40:37,773
I used to be the Mother. I used to be the wife,...
1270
01:40:39,213 --> 01:40:41,656
but now I'm Shirley Valentine again.
1271
01:40:48,275 --> 01:40:50,454
Would you like to join me for a drink?
1272
01:40:53,332 --> 01:40:54,561
Er,...
1273
01:40:56,000 --> 01:40:57,321
thanks.
1273
01:40:58,305 --> 01:41:04,152
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