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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.SubtitleDB.org today 2 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,094 Hiya, wall. 3 00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:47,523 Well, what's wrong with that? 4 00:02:48,453 --> 00:02:51,394 There's a woman 3 doors down talks to her microwave. 5 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:55,845 Talking to a microwave! Wall, what's the world coming to? 6 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:03,132 I know, I'm wicked, aren't I? ...drinking. 7 00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:08,032 I like a glass of wine when I'm doing the cooking. 8 00:03:08,130 --> 00:03:09,401 Don't I, wall? 9 00:03:09,602 --> 00:03:13,724 Don't I like a glass of wine when I'm preparing the evening meal? 10 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,577 Chips n' egg. 11 00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:22,652 Oh, God! 12 00:03:24,546 --> 00:03:27,711 What'll he be like, eh, wall,... my fella? 13 00:03:28,611 --> 00:03:29,920 What'll he be like when he finds out, 14 00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:32,639 he's only getting chips n' egg for his tea? 15 00:03:33,635 --> 00:03:35,773 Well, it's Thursday, you see, 16 00:03:35,874 --> 00:03:39,900 and when it's Thursday it has to be steak. It's The 11th Commandment. 17 00:03:40,003 --> 00:03:41,410 Moses declared it: 18 00:03:41,507 --> 00:03:45,848 "Though shalt give thy fella steak every Thursday," 19 00:03:46,147 --> 00:03:50,749 "and if though doesn't, thy fella will have one big gob on him all night long." 20 00:03:51,939 --> 00:03:54,973 I wouldn't mind, it's not even my bloody fault about the steak. 21 00:03:55,362 --> 00:03:58,303 You see, this morning, Gillian came 'round. 22 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:01,121 I don't normally have much to do with Gillian. 23 00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:05,594 I'm not saying she's a bragger, but if you've been to Paradise, 24 00:04:05,696 --> 00:04:08,545 she's got a season ticket. She's that type Gillian, you know... 25 00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:11,356 If you've got a headache, she's got a brain tumour. 26 00:04:14,464 --> 00:04:17,334 Oh, hello, Shirley. It appears your bell isn't working. 27 00:04:17,441 --> 00:04:19,580 Do you think perhaps there's something wrong with it? 28 00:04:19,682 --> 00:04:22,812 That's how she talks, Gillian. You know, she begrudges you the breathe. 29 00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:24,509 I dunno. There must be a power-cut. 30 00:04:24,737 --> 00:04:28,215 Ah, well, there you see, Eric and I have installed solar energy. 31 00:04:28,513 --> 00:04:30,975 Now, we would never be caught out by a power failure. 32 00:04:31,073 --> 00:04:34,783 Shirley, I've come to ask a favour. Can you come over for a minute? 33 00:04:35,105 --> 00:04:36,631 Oh yeah, yeah, sure. 34 00:04:41,791 --> 00:04:44,858 You see, Eric and I have to go away for a couple of days. 35 00:04:44,961 --> 00:04:48,538 Eric's doing a paper in Brussels. Bloody Brussels! 36 00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:52,383 I said to him, why couldn't it have been Paris, or even Amsterdam? 37 00:04:52,449 --> 00:04:56,927 - I really find Brussels such a bore. - Yeah, must be,... all those sprouts. 38 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,094 I made arrangements for mummy to feed Claymore, 39 00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:01,470 but she finds now, she can't do this evening. 40 00:05:01,855 --> 00:05:03,895 So, if you could manage... 41 00:05:04,031 --> 00:05:05,942 Now, we keep Claymore's food in here. 42 00:05:06,047 --> 00:05:08,119 Now, it's terribly simple, Shirley. 43 00:05:08,223 --> 00:05:11,900 You simply mix his muesli with about half a pint of milk. 44 00:05:11,999 --> 00:05:13,209 - Doesn't he have meat? 45 00:05:13,214 --> 00:05:16,827 - Oh, Shirley, we haven't had meat in this house for years! 46 00:05:16,830 --> 00:05:18,518 Didn't you know we'd become vegans? 47 00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,210 No, I thought you were still Church of England. 48 00:05:22,942 --> 00:05:26,621 Now, it's one bowl, Shirley... One bowl, twice a day. 49 00:05:26,752 --> 00:05:30,102 Claymore loves his muesli, don't you, Clay darling? 50 00:05:30,974 --> 00:05:33,079 A vegetarian bloodhound! 51 00:05:34,111 --> 00:05:38,427 Come on, that's it, Claymore darling. There... hmm? 52 00:05:38,751 --> 00:05:43,514 Oh, Claymore darling, it's your favourite! 53 00:05:43,645 --> 00:05:45,660 I hope you're not sick. 54 00:05:45,662 --> 00:05:49,140 You only had to take one look at that dog to see it was well and truly sick... 55 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,838 Sick of the sight of muesli! 56 00:05:50,878 --> 00:05:55,902 Awww, you're off your food? Because mummy was 5 minutes late with it... 57 00:05:56,509 --> 00:05:58,103 Is that it? 58 00:05:58,206 --> 00:06:00,180 He orders dinner sharp at 17:10, 59 00:06:00,286 --> 00:06:02,175 and then he has a run in the garden. 60 00:06:18,941 --> 00:06:23,733 C'mon, Clay, c'mon. Oh, look, lovely dinner! That's a lovely dinner! 61 00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:27,387 C'mon, eat it up. C'mon, Clay, c'mon. 62 00:06:30,430 --> 00:06:33,621 Aww, it's not natural, is it? 63 00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:36,921 I mean, if God had wanted to create a vegetarian dog, 64 00:06:36,925 --> 00:06:39,731 he wouldn't have made you a bloodhound, would He? 65 00:06:39,838 --> 00:06:44,083 He'd have made you a yogurthound, or a veggie burgerhound. 66 00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:47,956 You're a bloodhound! You need meat! 67 00:06:54,973 --> 00:06:57,531 Wait 'til ya see what I've got for you! 68 00:06:58,556 --> 00:07:00,145 Mmm, what's this? 69 00:07:04,796 --> 00:07:07,738 You wait 'til you taste this, Clay! Nice dinner. 70 00:07:07,837 --> 00:07:10,869 You've never tasted anything like this... 71 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:15,351 Now then, you get your chops 'round this! 72 00:07:16,699 --> 00:07:18,104 C'mon, Clay. 73 00:07:18,748 --> 00:07:20,309 It's your birthday. 74 00:07:21,659 --> 00:07:22,937 C'mon. 75 00:07:29,243 --> 00:07:31,280 Ooo, is that lovely? 76 00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:38,744 Greedy guts! That's Joe's tea you're guzzling! 77 00:07:39,195 --> 00:07:41,943 I think chips n' egg's nice for a change, don't you? 78 00:07:42,938 --> 00:07:46,905 Mind you, I don't think Joe will see it quite like that. 79 00:07:46,906 --> 00:07:49,939 Oh, sod it! Have another glass of wine, Shirley. 80 00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:54,579 I never used to drink wine. It was our Millandra got me started on this. 81 00:07:54,586 --> 00:07:55,699 She said to me, she said, 82 00:07:55,706 --> 00:07:58,385 everybody drinks wine now. - I like rum and coke. 83 00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,719 For God's sake! Rum and coke went out with the ark! 84 00:08:01,818 --> 00:08:03,479 Didn't it, Sharon Louise, hmm? 85 00:08:03,482 --> 00:08:06,804 Anyway, they don't sell rum and coke in here. It's a wine bar! 86 00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:10,578 - Look,... they sell wine. - What, just wine? 87 00:08:10,585 --> 00:08:12,084 - For God's sake! 88 00:08:12,634 --> 00:08:16,399 But, there's thousands of different varieties of wine, Mrs. Bradshaw. 89 00:08:16,505 --> 00:08:20,149 - I like Alsatian wine. - Well, that's what we're gonna have. 90 00:08:21,273 --> 00:08:24,723 Kids! They know everything, don't they? 91 00:08:24,985 --> 00:08:27,731 Our Millandra shares a flat with Sharon Louise. 92 00:08:28,857 --> 00:08:30,866 They're fascinated by sex. 93 00:08:32,248 --> 00:08:35,832 Well, I suppose I'd have been the same if I'd been born into their generation, 94 00:08:35,833 --> 00:08:38,068 'cause they discovered it, you see... 95 00:08:38,073 --> 00:08:39,598 The clitoris. 96 00:08:40,794 --> 00:08:43,122 "The clitoris kids", I call them, and good luck to them. 97 00:08:43,128 --> 00:08:45,012 I don't begrudge them a thing. 98 00:08:46,232 --> 00:08:49,137 Mind you, it was different in my day. 99 00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,972 D'ya know, d'ya know, when I was a girl, 100 00:08:53,977 --> 00:08:56,693 we'd never even heard of the clitoris. - Noone had. 101 00:08:56,728 --> 00:08:58,485 In those days, everyone thought it was a case of 102 00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:01,069 in out, in out, shake it all about. 103 00:09:01,079 --> 00:09:03,793 Stars would light up the sky, and the earth would tremble. 104 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,222 Hey, the only thing that trembled for me was the headboard on the bed. 105 00:09:08,759 --> 00:09:13,206 D'ya know, the first time I read about it, I thought it was pronounced "clit-oris"? 106 00:09:13,208 --> 00:09:15,378 I think it sounds nicer that way. 107 00:09:15,479 --> 00:09:18,162 That even sounds like it could be a name, doesn't it, eh?. 108 00:09:18,199 --> 00:09:20,721 Oh, hiya, Clit-oris, how are ya? 109 00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:24,310 That makes it sound a bit crude somehow. 110 00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:26,515 Oh, shut up. Why not? 111 00:09:26,519 --> 00:09:29,205 Plenty of men walking 'round called Dick. 112 00:09:31,736 --> 00:09:34,193 Well, anyway, that's the way I thought it was pronounced 113 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,474 when I first mentioned it to Joe. 114 00:09:35,481 --> 00:09:39,151 Ya know, we'd sit there in the front room one night, and I said to him,... 115 00:09:39,445 --> 00:09:41,873 I said, "Joey". I said, "Joe", 116 00:09:41,878 --> 00:09:44,301 "Have you ever heard of the clitoris?" 117 00:09:44,311 --> 00:09:45,934 He didn't even look up from his paper. 118 00:09:45,942 --> 00:09:49,743 "Yeah", he said, "But it doesn't go as well as the Ford Escort". 119 00:09:51,703 --> 00:09:53,648 Ah, they were great those mates. 120 00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,421 I don't see them anymore. 121 00:10:01,717 --> 00:10:03,923 Ah, well, that's the way it goes. 122 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:07,986 And now Millandra's gone and, our Brian's left home as well. 123 00:10:09,782 --> 00:10:12,211 He's living in a squat now in Kirby. 124 00:10:12,214 --> 00:10:14,449 It's like Beirut on a bad day. 125 00:10:14,677 --> 00:10:16,301 Do you like it, mum? 126 00:10:17,333 --> 00:10:21,747 - Well, it's got that lived in look. - We're gonna plant flowers! 127 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:23,186 Ah, son! 128 00:10:24,853 --> 00:10:28,170 If you're gonna live in a squat, couldn't you pick somewhere nice? 129 00:10:28,181 --> 00:10:30,163 Ya know, somewhere like Walton or Childwall? 130 00:10:30,165 --> 00:10:33,582 Mother, Childwall is no place for a poet. 131 00:10:33,686 --> 00:10:36,746 - A what? - A poet, mum. I've become a poet. 132 00:10:36,758 --> 00:10:40,205 I went down the Jobcentre today, and signed-on as a poet. 133 00:10:40,309 --> 00:10:42,832 Britain's first ever street poet. 134 00:10:43,669 --> 00:10:46,090 Is there much call for that sort of thing 'round here? 135 00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:47,630 Watch... 136 00:10:51,796 --> 00:10:54,802 "Don't rob cars, it's mad, it's bad". 137 00:10:54,901 --> 00:10:57,200 "Think of ya ma's, it'd make 'em sad". 138 00:10:57,333 --> 00:11:00,690 "Ya mothers would get a broken heart if you got smashed up". 139 00:11:00,692 --> 00:11:05,140 "Get wise, get smart,... don't rob cars!". 140 00:11:05,236 --> 00:11:06,704 - Piss Off! 141 00:11:13,299 --> 00:11:15,726 Poets have always had a hard time of it. 142 00:11:26,867 --> 00:11:29,993 I do miss them though, the kids, don't I, wall? 143 00:11:30,226 --> 00:11:32,298 There's only me and him now. 144 00:11:32,786 --> 00:11:37,005 What's he like,... my fella? What's he like, eh, wall? 145 00:11:37,233 --> 00:11:39,855 Well, he walked in one night with a smile on his face, 146 00:11:39,858 --> 00:11:43,150 and we didn't recognise him. Thought we had a lodger, didn't we? 147 00:11:45,107 --> 00:11:48,423 He used to laugh, Joe. We both did. 148 00:11:49,971 --> 00:11:52,810 Hey, wall, do you remember when we first moved in here? 149 00:11:53,681 --> 00:11:55,980 Oh, that seems like a long time ago. 150 00:11:57,074 --> 00:11:59,178 We hadn't long been married. 151 00:12:01,492 --> 00:12:03,026 Hey!! 152 00:12:04,178 --> 00:12:05,354 What? 153 00:12:05,362 --> 00:12:07,729 I can do me own makeup, thank you very much. 154 00:12:08,625 --> 00:12:11,883 Oh, sorry, well it's only a speck. 155 00:12:12,178 --> 00:12:15,372 You're bound to get a bit of paint on you doing a job like this, aren't ya? 156 00:12:23,985 --> 00:12:25,097 Hey? 157 00:12:25,290 --> 00:12:27,015 What? 158 00:12:27,153 --> 00:12:31,047 - You did that on purpose, didn't ya? - What? 159 00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:33,768 Little bugger,... you did this! 160 00:12:33,769 --> 00:12:35,015 No!! 161 00:12:37,264 --> 00:12:39,535 - No, Shirley, stop! 162 00:12:41,872 --> 00:12:43,502 You bugger! 163 00:12:45,134 --> 00:12:46,284 Ta da! 164 00:12:47,153 --> 00:12:49,191 - No, don't! - I'll get you! 165 00:12:49,288 --> 00:12:50,731 No!! 166 00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,587 For you, "Van Gogh". 167 00:13:02,127 --> 00:13:04,266 - This is for you, "Mona Lisa". - No! 168 00:13:09,103 --> 00:13:13,607 No, don't! Ah, no don't, Joe. Oh, Joe, please! 169 00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:20,327 You're a bloody nutcase, you! You're loop-the-loop! 170 00:13:20,943 --> 00:13:23,086 No, you're not kissing me like that! 171 00:13:24,783 --> 00:13:27,916 - Go on! - Oh, alright. 172 00:13:35,415 --> 00:13:37,046 It's up me nose! 173 00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:48,773 Aren't we the daring young things, getting a bath together? 174 00:13:48,816 --> 00:13:52,418 - Does this mean we're perverted? - You're a nutcase, you are! 175 00:13:56,719 --> 00:13:59,013 I love you, Shirley Valentine. 176 00:14:02,254 --> 00:14:04,008 Remember that, wall? 177 00:14:04,366 --> 00:14:06,404 He used to love me because I was a nutcase. 178 00:14:06,414 --> 00:14:08,716 Now he just thinks I am a nutcase. 179 00:14:09,424 --> 00:14:10,671 Mmm... 180 00:14:11,534 --> 00:14:13,637 It's lovely that. It's not too dry. 181 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,808 Some of it'd strip the palate off ya, wouldn't it, but this is lovely. 182 00:14:19,181 --> 00:14:21,386 D'ya know what I'd like to do, wall? 183 00:14:22,669 --> 00:14:26,563 I'd like to drink a glass of wine, in a country where the grape is grown. 184 00:14:27,981 --> 00:14:32,584 Sitting by the sea, just... sipping wine, and watching the sun go down. 185 00:14:33,677 --> 00:14:35,306 What's going on here? 186 00:14:36,621 --> 00:14:39,621 - Who the bloody hell are you talking to? - To the wall. 187 00:14:40,430 --> 00:14:44,328 - To the what? - The wall. Any objections? 188 00:14:46,605 --> 00:14:48,393 Never mind the bleedin' wall. 189 00:14:48,396 --> 00:14:51,050 It's nearly 6 o'clock. Get on with gettin' me tea. 190 00:14:51,052 --> 00:14:54,631 Oh My God! It's 6 o'clock, and his tea isn't ready! 191 00:14:54,636 --> 00:14:56,162 Will the government collapse? 192 00:14:56,173 --> 00:14:59,591 Does this mean the end of civilization as we know it? 193 00:14:59,852 --> 00:15:02,661 I always have me tea at 6 o'clock. 194 00:15:02,988 --> 00:15:08,261 So, just think how exciting it'd be, if for once you had it at 6:15? 195 00:15:08,748 --> 00:15:14,120 It'd make the headlines. "World Exclusive"... "Joe Eats Late!". 196 00:15:16,652 --> 00:15:20,293 I think... you're going 'round the bend. 197 00:15:20,365 --> 00:15:23,846 Oh, I do hope so, I've always wanted to travel! 198 00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:27,813 - Now, listen... - No, you listen! 199 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:31,364 Go and get washed, and go and sit and watch the telly. 200 00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:34,023 You'll have your tea when it's ready. 201 00:15:44,617 --> 00:15:47,329 I always said I'd leave him when the kids grew up. 202 00:15:47,626 --> 00:15:50,884 But by the time they'd grown up, there was nowhere to go. 203 00:15:52,106 --> 00:15:55,432 I'm not saying he's bad, my fella. He's just no bleedin' good. 204 00:15:56,618 --> 00:16:00,512 I don't hate men. I'm not a feminist, not like Jane. 205 00:16:00,618 --> 00:16:02,271 Jane's me mate. 206 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,308 I was having tea with her in a cafe the other day. 207 00:16:06,410 --> 00:16:09,761 Now, Jane is a feminist. Well, she likes to think she is. 208 00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:11,777 She reads Cosmopolitan, and she says... 209 00:16:11,786 --> 00:16:14,529 All men are potential rapists. 210 00:16:14,603 --> 00:16:19,489 - Even the Pope? - Of course,... all men, without exception. 211 00:16:20,458 --> 00:16:21,569 Look. 212 00:16:22,729 --> 00:16:23,935 What? 213 00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:26,848 - Him. - What about him? 214 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:34,403 Since we arrived, he hasn't taken his eyes off us. 215 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:38,498 He's spent the whole time undressing us. 216 00:16:39,337 --> 00:16:40,642 Go away! 217 00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:43,849 Good job I put me clean underwear on. 218 00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:49,224 Jane divorced her husband. 219 00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:51,875 I never knew him, it was before I met her. 220 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,470 Apparently, she came home from work unexpectedly one morning, 221 00:16:54,472 --> 00:16:56,934 and found him in bed with the milkman. 222 00:16:56,936 --> 00:16:58,560 Honest to God! The milkman! 223 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,964 Well, from that day forward, I've noticed... 224 00:17:00,969 --> 00:17:03,522 she never takes milk in her tea. 225 00:17:05,097 --> 00:17:06,686 Shirley, listen. 226 00:17:07,239 --> 00:17:10,141 I went in for a magazine competition, and I won it! 227 00:17:10,281 --> 00:17:13,572 A fortnight's holiday for two in Greece! How about that?! 228 00:17:13,672 --> 00:17:16,482 Jane, what am I gonna do without you for 2 weeks? 229 00:17:16,679 --> 00:17:18,913 You're the only one I ever talk to. 230 00:17:19,014 --> 00:17:21,216 - I won't half miss you. - No, you won't, 231 00:17:21,319 --> 00:17:23,871 - because you're coming with me. - What? 232 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,021 I've got it all fixed. Tomorrow morning, 233 00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:30,715 - we go to the travel agents and pick the tickets up. - Oh, but Jane, I can't! 234 00:17:30,726 --> 00:17:31,943 - Yes, you can! 235 00:17:31,944 --> 00:17:35,110 - And I don't want a vote of thanks or a speech about how grateful you are. 236 00:17:35,206 --> 00:17:38,563 You'll be doing me a big favour by coming with me. 237 00:17:41,064 --> 00:17:42,436 All set. 238 00:17:43,015 --> 00:17:45,789 Tuesday week,... and we're off! 239 00:17:46,822 --> 00:17:48,735 I don't suppose you've got a passport, have you? 240 00:17:48,744 --> 00:17:50,402 - No, but Jane, I... - C'mon. 241 00:17:50,407 --> 00:17:53,887 But, Jane, what about Joe? Jane, it's impossible. 242 00:17:54,087 --> 00:17:57,278 Of course it's possible. It's perfectly possible. 243 00:17:57,415 --> 00:18:00,960 Just forget about Joe. You're married to him, not joined at the hip. 244 00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,271 Has he ever taken you abroad? 245 00:18:02,278 --> 00:18:05,340 No, he... he'd never go abroad. He hates travelling. 246 00:18:05,349 --> 00:18:07,235 He gets culture shock when we go to Chester. 247 00:18:07,238 --> 00:18:10,651 Well, that's alright then, because he's not going, and you are. 248 00:18:15,431 --> 00:18:18,341 D'ya know, if I told Joe I was going to Greece for a week, 249 00:18:18,342 --> 00:18:20,540 he'd think I was going for the sex. 250 00:18:20,837 --> 00:18:22,082 Well, let him. 251 00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,178 - I wouldn't mind, but I'm not particulary fond of it, sex. 252 00:18:26,918 --> 00:18:31,170 I think sex is like supermarkets. You know, overrated. 253 00:18:31,814 --> 00:18:33,155 Just a lot of pushing and shoving, 254 00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:35,710 and you still come out with very little at the end. 255 00:18:40,645 --> 00:18:42,619 You get them out of here. 256 00:18:43,301 --> 00:18:45,475 Listen, Jane, what about Joe? 257 00:18:45,862 --> 00:18:48,479 Look, Shirley, if Joe doesn't want to go abroad... 258 00:18:48,484 --> 00:18:51,551 If he wants to behave like every other boring, insular, Englishman, 259 00:18:51,557 --> 00:18:54,782 then that's his prerogative. But you do want to go abroad... 260 00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:58,016 You've said so on many occasions, and now you can. 261 00:18:58,116 --> 00:19:00,995 That's your prerogative. It's no problem, Shirley. 262 00:19:00,996 --> 00:19:02,719 It's perfectly logical. 263 00:19:02,821 --> 00:19:05,187 I know it's logical. Dead logical,... 264 00:19:05,189 --> 00:19:09,123 but, you can't bring logic into this. We're talking about marriage. 265 00:19:09,541 --> 00:19:13,280 Marriage is like the Middle East: There's no solution. 266 00:19:18,756 --> 00:19:22,077 Oh, God! Ugh, I look like the back end of a tram smash! 267 00:19:22,179 --> 00:19:24,894 Right, now then... Come on, bikini. 268 00:19:25,475 --> 00:19:28,515 Bikini? With my stretch marks?! 269 00:19:28,547 --> 00:19:31,198 I'd be arrested for bringing human form into disrepute! 270 00:19:31,299 --> 00:19:32,579 - Oh, get away! 271 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:36,480 Listen, Jane, how am I going to tell Joe that I'm off to Greece for a fortnight? 272 00:19:36,833 --> 00:19:40,410 Oh, by the way, Joseph, umm,... I'm just popping off to Greece for a fortnight. 273 00:19:40,418 --> 00:19:44,444 Yeah,... I just thought I'd mention it so you can put it down in your diary. 274 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:48,473 You won't mind doing your own washing and cooking for a couple of weeks, will you, doll? 275 00:19:48,481 --> 00:19:49,561 There's nothing to it, babe. 276 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,830 The brown blob on the right of the kitchen is the washing machine, 277 00:19:52,836 --> 00:19:55,169 and the white blob on the left is the cooker. 278 00:19:55,172 --> 00:19:59,134 And don't get them mixed up, or you might end up with socks on toast. 279 00:19:59,586 --> 00:20:01,983 Some chance, eh, wall? Some chance. 280 00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:04,314 Jesus, if I go to the bathroom for 5 minutes, 281 00:20:04,322 --> 00:20:06,298 he thinks I've been hijacked! 282 00:20:08,034 --> 00:20:10,749 Still here then, are we? Haven't forgotten me then, eh? 283 00:20:10,788 --> 00:20:13,021 It won't be long now. 284 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,104 See what I mean? 285 00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:30,586 Oh, I knew I shouldn't have taken the bloody tickets off her in the first place. 286 00:20:31,553 --> 00:20:32,858 I'll phone Jane tomorrow. 287 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,133 She'll easy find someone else to go with her. 288 00:20:37,314 --> 00:20:39,743 And there was me when I was a girl... 289 00:20:39,841 --> 00:20:42,232 The only thing I ever wanted to do was travel. 290 00:20:42,785 --> 00:20:46,013 I wanted to be a courier, or an air hostess. 291 00:20:47,233 --> 00:20:50,366 But it was only the clever ones who got to do things like that. 292 00:20:50,369 --> 00:20:54,649 The ones like Marjorie Majors. I used to sit next to her in class. 293 00:20:55,232 --> 00:20:56,693 - Marjorie? 294 00:20:56,768 --> 00:21:01,338 Miss, although it's often assumed that Niagra Falls are the highest, 295 00:21:01,378 --> 00:21:04,572 I think in fact it's actually the Angel Falls. 296 00:21:04,769 --> 00:21:07,290 Marjorie took private elocution lessons. 297 00:21:07,490 --> 00:21:11,161 Can you tell me in what country we would find Angel Falls? 298 00:21:11,232 --> 00:21:13,110 Venezuela, Miss. 299 00:21:13,249 --> 00:21:15,897 - Excellent! 25 house points. 300 00:21:16,513 --> 00:21:19,320 That makes 4 billion house points she's got so far. 301 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:22,843 - And let us address ourselves to my next question. 302 00:21:23,038 --> 00:21:26,196 What was man's most important invention? 303 00:21:29,152 --> 00:21:33,624 Oh, do put your hand down, Shirley. You couldn't possibly know the answer. 304 00:21:33,855 --> 00:21:35,989 - But, Miss... - Lorraine? 305 00:21:36,223 --> 00:21:39,029 - It's "Sputnik", Miss? - No. 306 00:21:39,583 --> 00:21:41,848 But I knew I had the right answer,... 307 00:21:42,271 --> 00:21:44,572 Is it the automatic washing machine, Miss? 308 00:21:44,574 --> 00:21:45,556 - No. 309 00:21:45,566 --> 00:21:47,645 'cause I got it from me dad,... - The aeroplane, Miss? 310 00:21:47,743 --> 00:21:49,717 and he got it from the "Encyclopedia Britannica". 311 00:21:50,205 --> 00:21:52,056 Well, come along, Marjorie. 312 00:21:52,191 --> 00:21:55,706 The internal combustion engine, Miss. 313 00:21:56,511 --> 00:21:59,611 - No, Marjorie. - Miss?! 314 00:21:59,775 --> 00:22:02,522 I was nearly wetting myself, knowing I was on the point of receiving... 315 00:22:02,624 --> 00:22:05,878 43 thousand house points, a blessing from the Pope, 316 00:22:05,983 --> 00:22:07,894 and the OBE thrown in. 317 00:22:08,064 --> 00:22:12,477 Oh, very well, Shirley. You might as well get it wrong along with everybody else. 318 00:22:12,478 --> 00:22:15,773 - What was man's most important invention? 319 00:22:17,918 --> 00:22:20,153 Miss, it was the wheel. 320 00:22:21,918 --> 00:22:23,740 Miss, it was the wheel! 321 00:22:23,838 --> 00:22:27,549 Man's most important invention was... - Somebody must have told you! 322 00:22:27,805 --> 00:22:30,077 Well, how the bleeding hell else could I learn it? 323 00:22:30,077 --> 00:22:33,236 - Be quiet! - Well, Miss, it's not fair! 324 00:22:33,406 --> 00:22:35,450 Miss. Lloyd, the hymn! 325 00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:42,772 And all me house points, and me blessing from the Pope 326 00:22:42,877 --> 00:22:44,949 just disappeared before me eyes. 327 00:22:45,085 --> 00:22:47,514 I was never really interested in school after that. 328 00:22:47,709 --> 00:22:49,982 I became... a rebel. 329 00:22:52,157 --> 00:22:56,117 I used to wear my school skirts so high, you'd have thought it was a serviette. 330 00:22:56,222 --> 00:22:57,879 I was marvellous! 331 00:23:00,573 --> 00:23:03,381 I used to exude boredom out of every pore, 332 00:23:03,388 --> 00:23:04,982 and I hated everything. 333 00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:07,896 - What did you have last lesson? - Science. 334 00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:10,679 - It's garbage, science. - It's boring. 335 00:23:11,069 --> 00:23:12,628 What did you do in it? 336 00:23:12,762 --> 00:23:15,385 She showed us this film of these rabbits having a screw. 337 00:23:15,677 --> 00:23:18,227 - Any good? - Super boring. 338 00:23:18,235 --> 00:23:22,226 - I don't even like them in stew. - I hate them,... rabbits. 339 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:27,794 I hate the world. I hate everything. It's all garbage. It's last. 340 00:23:27,867 --> 00:23:29,971 It's crap, and I hate it. 341 00:23:32,187 --> 00:23:36,175 But I didn't really hate anything. The only thing I hated was me. 342 00:23:38,269 --> 00:23:41,019 Hey,... d'ya wanna drag? 343 00:23:44,188 --> 00:23:49,270 - Do you think she'll tell? - She's a cow, she give me the irrit's. 344 00:23:50,490 --> 00:23:52,053 - Shirley Valentine! 345 00:24:14,074 --> 00:24:18,613 Shirley, I didn't give you away, honestly, but you shouldn't smoke... 346 00:24:18,745 --> 00:24:21,043 Smoking can damage your health. 347 00:24:21,306 --> 00:24:23,603 And I can damage your health! 348 00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,232 God, can't you be evil when you're a kid! 349 00:24:30,330 --> 00:24:33,176 I used to pick on Marjorie something rotten. 350 00:24:33,626 --> 00:24:36,436 And all the time I suppose I really wanted to be like her. 351 00:24:36,538 --> 00:24:39,156 - Your report is excellent, as usual. 352 00:24:39,577 --> 00:24:43,376 I'm particulary delighted to hear that you're going to stay on with us to do your A-levels,... 353 00:24:43,384 --> 00:24:46,324 which will lead to your eventual entry into university. 354 00:24:46,361 --> 00:24:48,431 - Congratulations, my dear. 355 00:24:49,593 --> 00:24:51,279 Thank you, Miss. 356 00:24:57,272 --> 00:24:59,927 - And now we come to Miss. Valentine. 357 00:25:06,902 --> 00:25:10,734 Well, Shirley,... naturally, you are leaving us. 358 00:25:11,257 --> 00:25:14,737 And a brief glance at your report confirms my deep suspicion,... 359 00:25:14,841 --> 00:25:19,854 that you will not go far in life. Which perhaps is just as well,... 360 00:25:19,991 --> 00:25:22,997 given your marks in geography, you'd truly get lost. 361 00:25:24,824 --> 00:25:27,413 Well, tickle my tits 'til Friday! 362 00:25:31,384 --> 00:25:33,652 - Miss. Valentine, will you please come back! 363 00:25:45,206 --> 00:25:49,196 Of course, after I left I never saw any more of her, Marjorie Majors... 364 00:25:49,302 --> 00:25:52,173 Then, a few weeks ago, I was on my way home from town... 365 00:25:52,183 --> 00:25:54,066 You know, loaded down with shopping... 366 00:25:57,589 --> 00:25:59,542 Taxi! Taxi! 367 00:26:04,758 --> 00:26:06,766 Oh, you sod! 368 00:26:14,103 --> 00:26:15,730 I'm terribly sorry. 369 00:26:17,432 --> 00:26:18,932 Forgive me for asking, but... 370 00:26:18,934 --> 00:26:21,617 didn't you used to be Shirley Valentine? 371 00:26:21,815 --> 00:26:23,628 Marjorie Majors. 372 00:26:24,084 --> 00:26:27,082 I'd recognise those elocution lessons anywhere. 373 00:26:27,350 --> 00:26:30,092 It is! It's Shirley! 374 00:26:30,100 --> 00:26:33,267 My God, you're drenched! Come in and have tea. 375 00:26:40,117 --> 00:26:44,112 Well, Marjorie,... you've waited a long time for your revenge, 376 00:26:44,117 --> 00:26:46,601 but you got me in good style now. Well, go on, 377 00:26:46,613 --> 00:26:50,028 dig the knife in quick, and let's get it over with. 378 00:26:50,133 --> 00:26:53,231 Tell me all about you being an air hostess on Concord. 379 00:26:53,364 --> 00:26:55,596 I can't believe it, Shirley. After all these years! 380 00:26:55,701 --> 00:26:57,393 I know, and I haven't changed a bit, have I? 381 00:26:57,494 --> 00:26:59,468 Still kept my youthful complection. 382 00:26:59,798 --> 00:27:02,094 We've got to get you out of those wet things. 383 00:27:02,612 --> 00:27:03,954 Here we are. 384 00:27:16,723 --> 00:27:18,318 Thanks, Marjorie. 385 00:27:18,772 --> 00:27:20,462 Oh, that's better. 386 00:27:22,067 --> 00:27:23,147 Hello. 387 00:27:24,596 --> 00:27:26,638 Now, I want to know everything that's happened to you. 388 00:27:26,644 --> 00:27:28,303 I want the whole story, from A to Z. 389 00:27:28,404 --> 00:27:31,245 Got a postage stamp? I'll write it down for you. 390 00:27:32,052 --> 00:27:34,123 Won't you sit down, Shirley. 391 00:27:36,787 --> 00:27:38,672 - Do you have children? - Yeah. 392 00:27:39,604 --> 00:27:41,676 Tell me about them. Are they like you? 393 00:27:42,292 --> 00:27:44,908 Well, our Millandra's a bit of a mare, and Brian's a headcase, 394 00:27:44,915 --> 00:27:46,927 so, yeah, they are like me. 395 00:27:48,307 --> 00:27:51,848 - Well,... this is great, isn't it? - Yeah. 396 00:27:54,419 --> 00:27:57,963 - Er,... so, where are you off to next? - Paris... 397 00:27:58,322 --> 00:28:01,068 - Tonight, I'm afraid - Is that where you live now? 398 00:28:01,073 --> 00:28:04,523 No, I'm based in London, but er,... I travel all over. 399 00:28:04,723 --> 00:28:08,432 - From Paris, it's Athens, I think. - It's Greece, isn't it? 400 00:28:08,530 --> 00:28:11,114 - Yeah. - I remember that from geography. 401 00:28:11,441 --> 00:28:13,995 - All those islands! - That's right. 402 00:28:18,609 --> 00:28:21,672 - Shall I pour now, Madam? - Please. 403 00:28:25,874 --> 00:28:29,649 This is my friend Marjorie. We were at school together. 404 00:28:29,650 --> 00:28:34,345 Marjorie's an air hostess now,... on Concord. 405 00:28:35,154 --> 00:28:36,816 Pardon, darling? 406 00:28:37,587 --> 00:28:39,080 An air hostess? 407 00:28:39,825 --> 00:28:42,542 My God, Shirley, whatever gave you that idea? 408 00:28:42,672 --> 00:28:45,673 I said I travel widely, but I'm not an air hostess. 409 00:28:46,769 --> 00:28:50,153 Darling, I'm a hooker... I'm a whore. 410 00:28:55,121 --> 00:28:58,513 Oh, Madam, I'm, I'm so sorry. Erm, I'll get you some more. 411 00:28:58,608 --> 00:29:02,061 - Nevermind, just leave it. What do we want tea for anyway? 412 00:29:02,065 --> 00:29:03,851 This calls for a celebration. 413 00:29:08,401 --> 00:29:12,874 I just can't believe it... You, a hooker? Honest, Marjorie? 414 00:29:13,138 --> 00:29:14,542 Yes, honest. 415 00:29:15,346 --> 00:29:18,440 And all that money your mother spent on those elocution lessons! 416 00:29:19,216 --> 00:29:23,465 Do you know something? I always hated the way I had to speak, I still do. 417 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:25,485 I think you speak lovely. 418 00:29:27,344 --> 00:29:32,906 - You, Marjorie Majors, a hooker! - A top class hooker, of course. 419 00:29:32,946 --> 00:29:36,071 Mind you, I always was... top of the class, wasn't I? 420 00:29:38,575 --> 00:29:41,131 - Are you shocked, darling? - No... no, I'm not. 421 00:29:41,392 --> 00:29:43,916 I'm just thinking about all those house points! 422 00:29:57,616 --> 00:29:59,178 - I've found it! 423 00:30:03,247 --> 00:30:05,227 - Is that our class? - Yes. 424 00:30:06,318 --> 00:30:09,634 Oh, God, look at me hair! 425 00:30:09,774 --> 00:30:13,546 - There's your favourite - Yeah, that cow, Miss. Dearden. 426 00:30:15,758 --> 00:30:19,018 Remember, Marjorie,... smoking is bad for your health! 427 00:30:20,558 --> 00:30:23,850 - God, what a pain in the neck I was. - No, you weren't. 428 00:30:25,039 --> 00:30:27,211 You know, I never forgave myself 429 00:30:27,309 --> 00:30:30,602 for what I did to that beautiful soufflé of yours. 430 00:30:35,853 --> 00:30:36,843 Yes? 431 00:30:37,006 --> 00:30:37,992 Yes. 432 00:30:38,568 --> 00:30:39,622 Oh, right... 433 00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:41,896 Tell him I'll be down in 5 minutes. 434 00:30:42,798 --> 00:30:45,161 Hell, that's my car for the airport. 435 00:30:45,773 --> 00:30:49,547 Oh, I wish I didn't have to go. It's been such a lovely afternoon. 436 00:30:50,286 --> 00:30:54,441 Yeah,... and d'ya know when I first saw you, I almost fled. 437 00:30:54,540 --> 00:30:55,589 Why? 438 00:30:55,663 --> 00:30:59,685 Ah,... I thought you'd come lording it over me. 439 00:30:59,886 --> 00:31:02,147 Me, lording it over you? 440 00:31:03,341 --> 00:31:06,092 Don't you realise, I wanted to be like you? 441 00:31:06,541 --> 00:31:08,611 And I wanted to be like you! 442 00:31:10,509 --> 00:31:13,507 If only we'd known. We could have been great mates... 443 00:31:13,517 --> 00:31:15,367 You know, real close. 444 00:31:16,524 --> 00:31:18,667 - It's been fun, hasn't it? - Yeah. 445 00:31:20,205 --> 00:31:23,271 Anyway, you're off to Paris now. That's lovely. 446 00:31:23,532 --> 00:31:26,441 Yes, but I'd rather be here, talking to you. 447 00:31:27,691 --> 00:31:29,130 Well then. 448 00:31:36,781 --> 00:31:39,243 - Can we give you a lift? - No, I'm fine, thanks. 449 00:31:39,338 --> 00:31:41,639 I've still got a bit more shopping to do. 450 00:31:42,379 --> 00:31:43,754 Well then. 451 00:31:49,517 --> 00:31:52,459 And there was real affection in that kiss. 452 00:31:52,618 --> 00:31:55,172 It was the sweetest kiss I'd known in years. 453 00:31:59,531 --> 00:32:03,465 Goodbye, Shirley. Goodbye, Shirley Valentine. 454 00:32:08,810 --> 00:32:10,851 "Goodbye, Shirley Valentine". 455 00:32:13,068 --> 00:32:14,757 What happened to her? 456 00:32:16,106 --> 00:32:18,408 What happened to Shirley Valentine? 457 00:32:19,084 --> 00:32:22,432 She got married... to a boy called Joe,... 458 00:32:22,603 --> 00:32:24,768 and even though her name was changed to Bradshaw, 459 00:32:24,874 --> 00:32:27,973 she was still Shirley Valentine for a while. 460 00:32:28,523 --> 00:32:30,464 She knew who she was,... 461 00:32:31,818 --> 00:32:33,323 but somewhere along the way, 462 00:32:33,418 --> 00:32:35,807 the boy called Joe turned into "Him",.... 463 00:32:36,521 --> 00:32:39,205 and Shirley Valentine turned into this. 464 00:32:42,922 --> 00:32:46,436 And what I can't remember is the day, or the week, 465 00:32:46,442 --> 00:32:49,853 or the month, or... when it happened. 466 00:32:50,410 --> 00:32:52,416 When it stopped being good. 467 00:32:53,291 --> 00:32:56,037 When Shirley Valentine disappeared, and became just another name 468 00:32:56,135 --> 00:32:58,273 on the 'missing persons' list. 469 00:33:00,873 --> 00:33:04,221 He says he still loves me, you know? But, he doesn't... 470 00:33:04,936 --> 00:33:07,104 It's just something he says. 471 00:33:08,169 --> 00:33:11,232 It's funny, isn't it? "I love you". It's like it makes everything alright. 472 00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:14,566 Like,... like you can be beaten, and battered, and half insane, 473 00:33:14,569 --> 00:33:17,926 and if you complain, he'll say, "What's wrong? You know I love you". 474 00:33:18,888 --> 00:33:22,333 "I love you". They should bottle it, and sell it... 475 00:33:22,344 --> 00:33:24,259 It cures everything. 476 00:33:28,392 --> 00:33:30,563 And I know what you're thinking. 477 00:33:31,303 --> 00:33:32,865 Why don't I leave? 478 00:33:33,703 --> 00:33:36,421 Well, I'm terrified, if you want to know. 479 00:33:36,647 --> 00:33:40,292 I'm terrified that if I left, there'd be nowhere for me to go. 480 00:33:40,295 --> 00:33:43,326 No place for me in the life beyond the wall. 481 00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:48,667 When I was a girl, I used to jump off our roof. 482 00:33:48,774 --> 00:33:50,496 - Is it ready then? 483 00:33:54,119 --> 00:33:57,406 I get me tea at 6 o'clock, and it's nearly 10 past. What's going on? 484 00:33:57,510 --> 00:33:59,042 It's ready, sit down. 485 00:34:30,727 --> 00:34:33,922 - What's this then? - What? 486 00:34:34,950 --> 00:34:38,080 What... is... this? 487 00:34:40,421 --> 00:34:42,275 Well, it looks very like chips n' egg to me, 488 00:34:42,277 --> 00:34:44,038 but maybe it's a trick question. 489 00:34:44,230 --> 00:34:47,803 - It's Thursday. We have steak on Thursday. 490 00:34:48,004 --> 00:34:51,451 We always have steak on Thursday. 491 00:34:52,262 --> 00:34:53,883 Well, alright it's Thursday, 492 00:34:53,989 --> 00:34:56,253 but we're having chips n' egg for a change. 493 00:34:56,420 --> 00:34:59,460 - You like chips n' egg. - On a Tuesday... 494 00:34:59,493 --> 00:35:02,622 I like chips n' egg on a Tuesday. 495 00:35:03,558 --> 00:35:05,786 Today is Thursday. 496 00:35:06,534 --> 00:35:09,725 - Well, pretend it's Tuesday. - Where's me steak?! 497 00:35:11,237 --> 00:35:14,593 - I give it to the dog! - What dog?! 498 00:35:14,564 --> 00:35:17,244 Gillian's dog, across the street! 499 00:35:19,461 --> 00:35:20,867 Is this it? 500 00:35:22,149 --> 00:35:25,145 Have you finally gone 'round the friggin' pipe?! 501 00:35:27,875 --> 00:35:30,974 Look at me! I'm working from morning 'til night, 502 00:35:31,076 --> 00:35:35,165 working me tripe out, and what do I find? 503 00:35:35,587 --> 00:35:38,302 You, talking to the wall! 504 00:35:39,044 --> 00:35:42,174 Giving me tea to any friggin' stray dog that comes along, 505 00:35:42,820 --> 00:35:46,016 and I'm expected to eat... this! 506 00:35:47,042 --> 00:35:50,878 Well, I'm... not... eating... this! 507 00:35:51,140 --> 00:35:54,461 I'm... not... eating... shite! 508 00:36:08,995 --> 00:36:10,946 - Chips n' egg. 509 00:36:11,747 --> 00:36:13,950 - Chips n' friggin' egg! 510 00:36:14,338 --> 00:36:17,532 - I'm working all the hours that God sends! 511 00:36:17,762 --> 00:36:21,819 - I don't know why I bother. - I don't know what I'm doing it all for! 512 00:36:23,011 --> 00:36:25,562 - What's that? - It's a place. 513 00:36:25,699 --> 00:36:27,548 It's a place I'm going to! 514 00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:33,020 Ahhh, I get it. 515 00:36:34,081 --> 00:36:36,575 That's the name of the game, is it? 516 00:36:38,882 --> 00:36:40,801 I'm not getting fed properly, 517 00:36:40,803 --> 00:36:43,996 because you're saving for a foreign friggin' holiday! 518 00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:46,240 Well, I'm telling you now, you can just forget it! 519 00:36:46,243 --> 00:36:49,441 I am not going to no Greece! 520 00:36:53,505 --> 00:36:54,942 Get it?! 521 00:37:44,224 --> 00:37:47,449 - Oh, hello, Shirley. What are you doing here? 522 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:52,151 - I'm just buying a few... - They're quite nice, aren't they? 523 00:37:52,799 --> 00:37:56,693 It's marvellous what they can do with man made fibres these days, isn't it? 524 00:37:56,702 --> 00:37:58,205 You'd almost think it was silk... 525 00:37:58,206 --> 00:38:00,253 if you weren't familiar with the real thing. 526 00:38:00,479 --> 00:38:02,875 Well, I expect they're quite nice for your Millandra. 527 00:38:02,911 --> 00:38:05,437 Oh, no, Gillian, I'm not buying them for Millandra, 528 00:38:05,472 --> 00:38:09,438 I'm buying them for myself. Oh, these are better, yes. 529 00:38:09,471 --> 00:38:12,153 Yes, umm, but I shan't be wearing them for myself... 530 00:38:12,158 --> 00:38:14,643 I shall be wearing them for my lover. 531 00:38:15,263 --> 00:38:17,242 Yes, we fly out tomorrow, my lover and I, 532 00:38:17,342 --> 00:38:19,164 for a fortnight in the Greek islands. 533 00:38:19,549 --> 00:38:23,155 Just 2 weeks of sun, sand, taramasalata, 534 00:38:23,167 --> 00:38:26,902 and whatever else takes our fancy. Oh, well, I must be off now, Gillian. 535 00:38:26,910 --> 00:38:29,979 Still got a few more things to buy. I don't suppose you noticed 536 00:38:29,983 --> 00:38:32,221 which counter the garter belts were on, did you? 537 00:38:32,223 --> 00:38:35,319 No? Oh, nevermind, I'll find them. Tara, Gillian. 538 00:38:52,670 --> 00:38:55,702 Passport,... tickets, money. Passport, tickets, money. 539 00:38:55,806 --> 00:38:59,197 4 o'clock Jane's picking me up. 11:10. 540 00:38:59,901 --> 00:39:02,745 Ugh, I feel sick. 541 00:39:03,357 --> 00:39:06,106 Those travel sickness pills mustn't be working. 542 00:39:06,108 --> 00:39:08,920 I still feel sick, and I've taken 4 already,... 543 00:39:08,925 --> 00:39:11,417 and I've only travelled up n' down the stairs. 544 00:39:11,517 --> 00:39:14,359 Passport, tickets, money. 545 00:39:14,428 --> 00:39:17,015 I got a full one, wall,... passport. 546 00:39:17,213 --> 00:39:19,961 Well, you never know, Shirley, this could be the start of something. 547 00:39:20,062 --> 00:39:22,709 This year Greece, next year the world. 548 00:39:23,612 --> 00:39:26,294 Oh, God, I knew I should have told him. 549 00:39:26,845 --> 00:39:29,688 10 days I've been secretly ironing, and packing. 550 00:39:29,692 --> 00:39:31,894 It's been like living in a bleedin' prison! 551 00:39:31,997 --> 00:39:33,653 Cooking all his meat for the next fortnight... 552 00:39:33,659 --> 00:39:35,000 They're all in the freezer. 553 00:39:35,005 --> 00:39:36,756 My mother's got to come in and defrost them, 554 00:39:36,858 --> 00:39:38,611 and do his cooking for him. 555 00:39:39,707 --> 00:39:42,453 With a bit of luck, he won't even notice I'm not here. 556 00:39:42,908 --> 00:39:44,530 Oh, God! 557 00:39:46,364 --> 00:39:49,083 God, look, I know I'm being cruel, 558 00:39:49,084 --> 00:39:50,995 and I know I will have to pay for it when I get back, 559 00:39:51,003 --> 00:39:54,329 and I don't mind paying for it then, but just... just do me a favour, God, 560 00:39:54,331 --> 00:39:56,982 and don't make me pay for ir during the 2 weeks. 561 00:39:57,082 --> 00:39:59,415 Keep everyone safe, please. 562 00:40:39,352 --> 00:40:42,582 I hate that Sharon Louise! She's a mare! 563 00:40:42,683 --> 00:40:45,942 I don't know why I ever went to live with her in the first place! 564 00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:49,302 Mother, I've come back to live with you! 565 00:40:51,577 --> 00:40:54,543 Mother, make me some cocoa and toast like you used to... 566 00:40:54,648 --> 00:40:56,435 I'm going to me room. 567 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,282 She's a cow, that Sharon Louise. 568 00:41:27,384 --> 00:41:29,999 I don't know why I ever left you, Mother. 569 00:41:31,961 --> 00:41:34,958 Mother, you haven't put enough sugar in this cocoa. 570 00:41:34,968 --> 00:41:37,781 Will you go down, and get us another spoon? 571 00:41:48,151 --> 00:41:49,524 What am I doing, wall? 572 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:51,182 She's only been back 5 minutes, and... 573 00:41:51,191 --> 00:41:54,669 she's got me strutting 'round like R2 bleedin' D2! 574 00:42:03,510 --> 00:42:06,322 Ah, thanks, Mother, that's brilliant. 575 00:42:07,543 --> 00:42:09,940 God, I love being back home. 576 00:42:10,294 --> 00:42:13,743 We'll go down town on Saturday, shall we, Mother? Like we used to. 577 00:42:13,783 --> 00:42:16,367 Do some shopping together, eh? Just you and me. 578 00:42:16,374 --> 00:42:17,647 - Yeah, that... - Mother, do us a favour,... 579 00:42:17,749 --> 00:42:20,747 - and bring the telly upstairs, will ya? - Millandra... 580 00:42:21,877 --> 00:42:25,168 Millandra, I'm really pleased you've come home... 581 00:42:25,176 --> 00:42:27,925 You know, because I've missed you. - And I've missed you, Mother. 582 00:42:28,022 --> 00:42:29,484 I've been home sick, you know. 583 00:42:29,493 --> 00:42:32,012 I mean, I've never said that. I've never complained, 584 00:42:32,023 --> 00:42:34,573 because I think kids should have their own lives, 585 00:42:34,583 --> 00:42:40,340 but there's... there's been many a time I'd loved to have sat and had a talk with you, or, 586 00:42:40,342 --> 00:42:43,349 or gone to town with you, or had a meal, or shared a laugh... 587 00:42:43,351 --> 00:42:46,831 - Mother... - Just like... like, not as your Mother, but 588 00:42:46,838 --> 00:42:47,885 as another human being... 589 00:42:47,925 --> 00:42:49,649 - Well, Mother, could you get the telly for us? 590 00:42:49,655 --> 00:42:51,276 Playschool's gonna be on in a minute. 591 00:42:51,350 --> 00:42:54,736 but I couldn't,... because you had your own life... 592 00:42:55,766 --> 00:42:57,932 Your own interests, and your own friends... 593 00:42:57,941 --> 00:42:59,118 None of it to do with me. 594 00:42:59,126 --> 00:43:02,671 Yeah, well, that's okay 'cause now I've come back home. 595 00:43:02,678 --> 00:43:06,740 Yes, you've come home, and that's fantastic, 596 00:43:07,189 --> 00:43:10,513 and, and, you couldn't have picked a better time for it, 'cause... 597 00:43:11,125 --> 00:43:13,361 It'll be a great help having you here to look after your Father. 598 00:43:13,461 --> 00:43:16,943 - Why? What's wrong with him? - Well, there's nothing wrong with him, it's... 599 00:43:19,157 --> 00:43:22,030 it's just with me not being here for the next 2 weeks. 600 00:43:23,411 --> 00:43:24,624 - What? 601 00:43:25,460 --> 00:43:28,657 - With me and Jane going to Greece,... today... 602 00:43:28,661 --> 00:43:32,593 - You and...? Going to Greece? What for?! 603 00:43:32,917 --> 00:43:36,720 - For 2 whole weeks. - That Jane,... and you?! 604 00:43:37,077 --> 00:43:39,405 - What's me Father had to say about it?! 605 00:43:40,596 --> 00:43:43,178 - Well,... I haven't told him. 606 00:43:44,563 --> 00:43:47,402 - I think it's a disgrace! - What? 607 00:43:47,411 --> 00:43:49,711 - Me own Mother behaving like that! 608 00:43:50,291 --> 00:43:52,719 - Millandra, I thought you'd be made up for me. 609 00:43:52,723 --> 00:43:56,465 - Made up? Made up?! I think it's disgusting! 610 00:43:56,468 --> 00:43:58,418 - Hold on, what's disgusting about it? 611 00:43:58,515 --> 00:44:00,686 - 2 middle aged women going to Greece on their own? 612 00:44:00,787 --> 00:44:03,176 - It's disgusting! - Oh, don't be silly! 613 00:44:03,283 --> 00:44:06,412 - Love, where are ya going? - I'm going back to my flat. 614 00:44:06,899 --> 00:44:09,809 - Greece, at your age! You and that Jane! 615 00:44:09,811 --> 00:44:10,987 - It's obscene! 616 00:44:10,994 --> 00:44:13,895 - You are jumping to exactly the same conclusions as your Father would. 617 00:44:14,003 --> 00:44:17,232 You think I'm off to Greece on a grab-a-granny fortnight! 618 00:44:21,907 --> 00:44:25,034 That's right, Millandra, I'm going to Greece for the sex! 619 00:44:25,523 --> 00:44:29,676 Sex for breakfast, sex for dinner, sex for tea, and sex for supper! 620 00:44:29,747 --> 00:44:31,755 Sounds like a marvellous diet, love! 621 00:44:31,761 --> 00:44:35,368 It is! Have you never heard of it? It's called the "F" plan! 622 00:44:38,769 --> 00:44:41,323 "You, going to Greece. What for?". 623 00:44:47,890 --> 00:44:50,186 What am I going for? 624 00:44:55,858 --> 00:44:58,829 Shirley, you are one silly bitch! 625 00:45:00,690 --> 00:45:02,769 You're 42, not 22. 626 00:45:04,434 --> 00:45:07,663 Just another stupid woman, looking for adventure,... 627 00:45:07,697 --> 00:45:10,278 when the time for adventures is over. 628 00:45:14,865 --> 00:45:19,020 Well, I'll phone Jane,... tell her I'm not coming. 629 00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:51,432 - Oh, hello, Shirley, is Joe at home? - No, Gillian, Joe isn't at home,... 630 00:45:51,441 --> 00:45:53,198 and listen, if you've come to spill the beans, don't bother... 631 00:45:53,295 --> 00:45:56,456 Shirley, I haven't come to spill any beans. 632 00:45:58,289 --> 00:46:01,768 I just wanted to check that Joseph wasn't home... 633 00:46:04,079 --> 00:46:06,410 before I gave you... this. 634 00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:10,053 I want you to have it for your trip... to Greece. 635 00:46:10,767 --> 00:46:12,523 Well, do open it. 636 00:46:19,950 --> 00:46:23,341 It is silk. It's never been worn... 637 00:46:23,438 --> 00:46:26,089 You see, I... was never brave enough. 638 00:46:26,382 --> 00:46:30,090 - Oh, Gillian! - I wish I'd had your bravery. 639 00:46:30,159 --> 00:46:33,221 - Listen, today... - Please, Shirley, don't say anything. 640 00:46:33,231 --> 00:46:38,855 - It's yours. I just wanted you to know... I think you're marvellous. 641 00:46:44,046 --> 00:46:45,768 - Gillian! 642 00:46:57,322 --> 00:46:59,778 Gillian really believes it! 643 00:46:59,914 --> 00:47:02,913 All that rubbish about me, taking a lover! 644 00:47:02,985 --> 00:47:05,318 She really believes it's possible! 645 00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:07,391 In her eyes, I'm no longer Shirley Bradshaw, 646 00:47:07,497 --> 00:47:10,913 middle aged housewife, beginning to sag a bit. 647 00:47:11,273 --> 00:47:15,263 I'm Shirley the brave. Shirley the marvellous! 648 00:47:16,907 --> 00:47:18,821 Shirley Valentine! 649 00:47:20,394 --> 00:47:22,400 From now on, when I look in the mirror, 650 00:47:22,409 --> 00:47:24,544 I'm not gonna say, "Christ, you're 42", 651 00:47:24,553 --> 00:47:30,437 I'm gonna say, "Hey, Shirley, you're only 42! Isn't that marvellous?!" 652 00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:36,183 "Gone to Greece. Back in 2 weeks" 653 00:47:53,992 --> 00:47:55,203 Shirl'? 654 00:48:00,168 --> 00:48:01,696 Shirl'? 655 00:49:11,301 --> 00:49:12,573 Hey. 656 00:49:12,967 --> 00:49:15,102 I bet you didn't recognise me. 657 00:49:15,846 --> 00:49:18,530 I hardly recognise myself these days. 658 00:49:19,590 --> 00:49:22,656 I love it here,... don't I, rock? 659 00:49:23,398 --> 00:49:26,462 That's rock. We met the first day I got here. 660 00:49:27,398 --> 00:49:31,486 I found this little place... I found you, didn't I, rock? 661 00:49:31,557 --> 00:49:33,660 I talk to you,... rock. 662 00:49:34,498 --> 00:49:36,894 He's got his name running right through him. 663 00:49:37,187 --> 00:49:41,603 Now, of course, I talk to rock, but he doesn't talk to me. 664 00:49:41,668 --> 00:49:44,417 He can't, you see, he's a Greek rock. 665 00:49:45,189 --> 00:49:48,091 He can't understand a bleedin' word I'm saying! 666 00:49:49,796 --> 00:49:52,543 I might have risked the main beach if I'd have been with Jane, 667 00:49:52,644 --> 00:49:56,768 but on me own, I felt a bit,... you know, conspicuous. 668 00:49:57,637 --> 00:50:00,634 'Cause Jane met a fella, didn't she. 669 00:50:01,476 --> 00:50:05,792 Not here,... on the plane. Honest to God! 670 00:50:06,211 --> 00:50:07,226 Ladies and gentleman, 671 00:50:07,236 --> 00:50:09,178 would you now please observe the no smoking sign, 672 00:50:09,188 --> 00:50:11,555 and extinguish all lighted cigarettes. 673 00:50:13,605 --> 00:50:17,987 - Where have you been? - I told you, just to the loo. 674 00:50:17,987 --> 00:50:20,188 I was beginning to think you'd fallen down it. 675 00:50:20,291 --> 00:50:24,060 Shirley. Shirley,... see him? 676 00:50:25,284 --> 00:50:27,289 What, the walking groin? 677 00:50:27,651 --> 00:50:30,747 Shir', listen, he's just invited me out to dinner. 678 00:50:31,651 --> 00:50:33,369 - What? - Tonight. 679 00:50:33,476 --> 00:50:36,251 He's got a villa on the other side of the island from us, 680 00:50:36,355 --> 00:50:40,631 with an olive grove. Well, Shirl', it's only for tonight. 681 00:50:40,642 --> 00:50:44,481 We'll still do all the things we planned. You don't mind, do you? 682 00:50:46,306 --> 00:50:48,442 Listen, Jane, I think you've probably blown the 683 00:50:48,451 --> 00:50:51,872 'Feminist of the year' award, so just leave it out, will ya? 684 00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:55,069 I mean, obviously, it's been a difficult time for you, 685 00:50:55,075 --> 00:50:57,883 since your fella ran off with the milkman, 686 00:50:57,891 --> 00:50:59,777 and now you've got this opportunity, 687 00:50:59,778 --> 00:51:01,628 I don't want you to give another thought to me. 688 00:51:01,731 --> 00:51:07,066 You... you go to his villa, and enjoy yourself. Give his olives a good pressing! 689 00:51:07,363 --> 00:51:10,939 Shirley,... thanks for being so understanding. 690 00:51:17,376 --> 00:51:18,783 Shirley. 691 00:51:20,384 --> 00:51:23,101 Shirley,... where are ya going? 692 00:51:23,105 --> 00:51:24,731 We said we'd gift you a lift to the ferry. 693 00:51:24,738 --> 00:51:27,482 No, I'm fine on me own, thanks. 694 00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:43,765 Alright, love? 695 00:52:13,566 --> 00:52:16,053 Here we are, love. You sit here. 696 00:52:16,096 --> 00:52:19,038 Oh, no, no, thanks. I'd rather stand; you can see more. 697 00:52:19,135 --> 00:52:20,889 I don't blame you, love. 698 00:52:20,896 --> 00:52:23,325 You don't know what's been on these seats, do ya? 699 00:52:23,423 --> 00:52:25,496 D'ya know what I mean? 700 00:52:51,143 --> 00:52:54,904 - We usually go to Laurette, don't we? - We couldn't get booked, could we? 701 00:52:54,928 --> 00:52:57,570 - Aye, we usually go to Majorca, but... - Ah, yes. 702 00:53:04,092 --> 00:53:06,549 The travel agent said we'd like it here. 703 00:53:07,141 --> 00:53:10,207 - I'm a bit dubious myself. - Where's the disco? 704 00:53:10,287 --> 00:53:13,498 - Where's the bar? - There's more life in a crematorium. 705 00:53:13,499 --> 00:53:14,937 - Oh, Sydney. 706 00:53:15,272 --> 00:53:17,985 It was like I'd come to the far side of Paradise,... 707 00:53:18,009 --> 00:53:19,923 and I loved it. 708 00:53:22,404 --> 00:53:24,900 Jane never did come back that night, you know,... 709 00:53:24,964 --> 00:53:26,413 or the next morning. 710 00:53:26,652 --> 00:53:28,916 At first, I was a bit scared, being on my own, 711 00:53:28,997 --> 00:53:31,015 but then I found this little place. 712 00:53:31,175 --> 00:53:34,016 I thought, why am I so terrified of being on me own? 713 00:53:34,017 --> 00:53:37,967 I'm and expert at it! And then I started to relax. 714 00:53:41,228 --> 00:53:44,201 She still hasn't come back, you know, has she, wall? 715 00:53:45,256 --> 00:53:47,198 They must be marvellous olives! 716 00:53:55,543 --> 00:53:57,689 Funny, isn't it, that if you're a woman on her own, 717 00:53:57,690 --> 00:54:00,240 it doesn't half seem to upset people. 718 00:54:04,175 --> 00:54:06,998 - Hiya, Renos. - Good evening, Madam,... 719 00:54:07,192 --> 00:54:08,295 - and how are you this evening? 720 00:54:08,296 --> 00:54:11,970 - Marvellous, thanks. How are you? - Good, I'm good. 721 00:54:12,067 --> 00:54:14,445 I feel a little pain in the back, 722 00:54:14,446 --> 00:54:19,410 but I say to myself, "If I feel a little pain in the back, at least it means I'm not dead". 723 00:54:20,945 --> 00:54:23,882 Now, tonight I have for you some calamares,... 724 00:54:23,883 --> 00:54:27,966 cooked with a little garlic, yes... and butter and lemon. Plenty of Lemon! 725 00:54:27,967 --> 00:54:29,590 - It's beautiful. - Lovely. 726 00:54:29,591 --> 00:54:31,809 - Bon appetit, Madam. - Thanks. 727 00:54:36,798 --> 00:54:40,599 Now, listen,... you can't go on like this. 728 00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,371 Pardon? 729 00:54:43,810 --> 00:54:45,611 It's not right! 730 00:54:45,804 --> 00:54:48,781 We can't help noticing that you're on your own. 731 00:54:48,782 --> 00:54:49,821 Who? 732 00:54:49,822 --> 00:54:52,383 So we've arranged for another chair at our table. 733 00:54:52,384 --> 00:54:54,545 Oh, no, no, thanks very much, but... 734 00:54:54,546 --> 00:54:56,891 We want you to come and join us. 735 00:54:56,892 --> 00:55:00,277 - No, no, thanks very much. I'd really much... - Now, come on, love. 736 00:55:00,374 --> 00:55:02,282 I'll take ya drink. 737 00:55:08,902 --> 00:55:11,461 I wouldn't be surprised if they all burst out into applause, 738 00:55:11,462 --> 00:55:13,381 'cause I've been rescued from loneliness by 739 00:55:13,382 --> 00:55:15,720 Jeannette and Dougie,... from Manchester. 740 00:55:15,721 --> 00:55:17,674 - Make yourself at home. 741 00:55:18,347 --> 00:55:22,664 Now,... have you got a "jacuzzi"? 742 00:55:23,816 --> 00:55:26,449 - Er,... no. - Well,... 743 00:55:26,450 --> 00:55:30,290 maybe it's just the thing you've been waiting for,... 744 00:55:30,291 --> 00:55:33,612 because you always wanted a jacuzzi, didn't you, Jeanette? 745 00:55:33,613 --> 00:55:38,219 I'd had dreams about getting a jacuzzi. Michael Caine's got one, ya know. 746 00:55:38,220 --> 00:55:39,370 Ohhh... 747 00:55:39,370 --> 00:55:41,245 - So, we get this jacuzzi, like, 748 00:55:41,245 --> 00:55:44,855 but what we found was, we couldn't fit it in our bathroom,... 749 00:55:45,145 --> 00:55:47,063 so, what I did was... 750 00:55:47,159 --> 00:55:50,889 - We built an extension! - I built an extension, didn't I? 751 00:55:51,178 --> 00:55:53,058 It's a good job we're not having soup, 752 00:55:53,059 --> 00:55:55,292 or I'd put my head in it, and drown myself. 753 00:55:55,390 --> 00:55:58,061 - Finished? - Well, I couldn't eat that! 754 00:56:02,473 --> 00:56:06,196 You can say what you like... It's not Laurette, is it? 755 00:56:06,197 --> 00:56:10,552 - Aye, but the thing is, Dougie, I could like Greece, I could,... 756 00:56:10,553 --> 00:56:12,314 if it were more like Spain. 757 00:56:12,507 --> 00:56:14,666 - I take your point, yeah. 758 00:56:14,667 --> 00:56:19,750 - But, it's not, is it? - No, it's not, and I'll tell you why... 759 00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:22,424 I'll tell you why Greece isn't like Spain. 760 00:56:22,617 --> 00:56:27,002 Because Greece... well, it's all too Greek. Take me point? 761 00:56:27,099 --> 00:56:29,341 And that's what's wrong with Greece. 762 00:56:29,821 --> 00:56:31,998 - It's like them fishing boats out there in the bay... 763 00:56:31,999 --> 00:56:34,552 I said to her this morning, didn't I, Thelma? 764 00:56:34,745 --> 00:56:38,707 - I said to her, "If you take a close look at the side them boats"... 765 00:56:38,708 --> 00:56:41,214 - "You know the bit where it says the name of the boat builder?"... 766 00:56:41,215 --> 00:56:45,731 - "And I 'll bet you a pound to a penny, it says Noah". 767 00:56:47,554 --> 00:56:50,602 Didn't I say that to ya? I bloody did! 768 00:56:51,468 --> 00:56:53,282 Okay, excuse me. 769 00:56:53,571 --> 00:56:56,304 You do watch the Olympic games, I take it? 770 00:56:56,496 --> 00:57:00,395 And you do realise it was the Greeks who invented the Olympic games? 771 00:57:00,396 --> 00:57:04,581 Oh, yes, Jeanette, they invented a lot of things, the Greeks. 772 00:57:04,582 --> 00:57:06,407 Where do you suppose your jacuzzi came from? 773 00:57:06,505 --> 00:57:09,690 - K-Mart. - Yes, but who invented it? 774 00:57:09,691 --> 00:57:13,253 The Greeks! Actually, the Greeks. 775 00:57:13,350 --> 00:57:15,510 And it was the Greeks, I'll have you know, 776 00:57:15,511 --> 00:57:19,608 who were responsible for the most important invention of all... The wheel! 777 00:57:19,801 --> 00:57:22,219 The English? Don't talk to me about the English, 778 00:57:22,220 --> 00:57:25,780 because while the Greeks were building roads, and cities, and temples, 779 00:57:25,780 --> 00:57:28,384 what were the English doing? I'll tell you what the English were doing, 780 00:57:28,384 --> 00:57:30,226 they were running around in loincloths, 781 00:57:30,227 --> 00:57:33,630 ploughing up the earth with the arse bone of a giraffe! 782 00:57:44,469 --> 00:57:45,803 - Madam. 783 00:57:50,119 --> 00:57:54,186 Hey,... mate,... what is this? 784 00:57:54,283 --> 00:57:57,643 - It's calamares, Sir. - I know that, 785 00:57:57,644 --> 00:58:01,799 but what I'm asking you,... Zorba... 786 00:58:01,800 --> 00:58:04,248 is, what is it? 787 00:58:04,249 --> 00:58:06,907 Sir, it's calamares. 788 00:58:07,004 --> 00:58:09,717 It's a... type of fish! 789 00:58:10,294 --> 00:58:12,727 Well, it don't look much like fish to me. 790 00:58:12,728 --> 00:58:15,647 Sir, I can promise you, it's fish. 791 00:58:15,648 --> 00:58:19,756 This fish was pulled fresh from sea this evening by my brother,... 792 00:58:19,757 --> 00:58:22,367 in a boat, called, "Noah". 793 00:58:23,999 --> 00:58:25,770 - Enjoy your meal. 794 00:58:30,469 --> 00:58:33,286 They're that type, you know... If they'd been at the last supper, 795 00:58:33,286 --> 00:58:35,180 they'd have asked for chips. 796 00:58:37,770 --> 00:58:40,039 Very nice the squid, isn't it? 797 00:58:43,012 --> 00:58:44,454 What? 798 00:58:45,029 --> 00:58:48,757 I say, the squid, the octopus,... it's really quite nice. 799 00:59:20,119 --> 00:59:21,585 - Madam... 800 00:59:21,586 --> 00:59:24,538 - You will join with your friends? - No, I don't think so, Renos. 801 00:59:24,539 --> 00:59:28,069 After what I said at dinner time, I don't think I'd be too popular, do you? 802 00:59:28,070 --> 00:59:33,248 - Maybe not. Have a good evening. - Thank you, Renos. 803 01:00:33,707 --> 01:00:35,422 You like something? 804 01:00:35,709 --> 01:00:38,303 Er, yeah, I'd like a drink please. 805 01:00:38,304 --> 01:00:41,152 Sure... Gin, whisky, what? 806 01:00:41,153 --> 01:00:44,042 Er, no, wine. Weak,... weak wine. 807 01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:45,595 - Ah, retsina? 808 01:00:45,789 --> 01:00:50,993 - Will I like that? - It's Greek. I think you like. 809 01:00:51,954 --> 01:00:53,522 Spiro, retsina. 810 01:00:53,523 --> 01:00:55,349 Hey, hey, hey, excuse me. 811 01:00:56,789 --> 01:00:59,342 I know this sounds a bit soft, but would you mind,... 812 01:00:59,343 --> 01:01:04,144 I mean like, would you object if I was to move this table and chair over there 813 01:01:04,145 --> 01:01:06,326 by the edge of the sea? 814 01:01:08,821 --> 01:01:12,017 You want I move table, chair to edge of sea? 815 01:01:12,784 --> 01:01:15,554 - Yeah. - Why? 816 01:01:15,651 --> 01:01:17,421 You don't like my bar? 817 01:01:17,807 --> 01:01:19,200 Yeah,... 818 01:01:19,201 --> 01:01:21,503 it's a lovely bar, it's,... 819 01:01:21,598 --> 01:01:23,864 it's just that I've got this soft little dream about 820 01:01:23,865 --> 01:01:25,938 sitting at a table by the edge of the sea. 821 01:01:25,939 --> 01:01:28,067 Ah, a dream. 822 01:01:28,643 --> 01:01:31,975 So, I move table to edge of sea,... 823 01:01:32,646 --> 01:01:35,154 I make your dream come true? 824 01:01:37,458 --> 01:01:39,068 Yeah, I think so. 825 01:01:40,027 --> 01:01:42,493 Sure, it's no problem. 826 01:02:06,662 --> 01:02:08,943 - Thanks. - Oh, it's my pleasure. 827 01:02:09,424 --> 01:02:12,441 I move table to sea, and tonight in my bar, 828 01:02:12,442 --> 01:02:15,083 I can tell the customers, "Tonight...", er,... 829 01:02:15,084 --> 01:02:19,681 "Tonight, I make someone's dream come true". Please... 830 01:03:03,703 --> 01:03:05,513 It's funny, isn't it? 831 01:03:06,666 --> 01:03:09,340 You know, when you picture something,... 832 01:03:09,532 --> 01:03:11,484 and you've imagined how something's going to be... 833 01:03:11,485 --> 01:03:14,337 Well, it never turns out like that, does it? 834 01:03:16,256 --> 01:03:19,738 I mean, for weeks I've pictured myself sitting here,... 835 01:03:20,699 --> 01:03:23,542 sitting here, drinking wine, by the sea, 836 01:03:23,542 --> 01:03:26,643 and, and, I knew exactly how I was going to feel. 837 01:03:29,522 --> 01:03:32,335 Now I'm here, it doesn't feel a bit like that. 838 01:03:34,445 --> 01:03:37,612 I don't feel at all lovely, and serene. I feel... 839 01:03:39,593 --> 01:03:41,741 pretty daft, actually. 840 01:03:43,852 --> 01:03:45,596 - And awfully,... 841 01:03:46,173 --> 01:03:48,091 - awfully old. 842 01:03:55,379 --> 01:03:57,480 - I've lead such a little life,... 843 01:03:59,591 --> 01:04:02,389 and even that could be over pretty soon. 844 01:04:04,787 --> 01:04:09,293 I have... allowed myself to lead this little life, 845 01:04:09,294 --> 01:04:11,964 when inside me, there is so much more,... 846 01:04:14,075 --> 01:04:16,165 and it's all gone unused,... 847 01:04:17,413 --> 01:04:19,484 and now it never will be. 848 01:04:23,416 --> 01:04:27,061 Why do we get all this life if we don't ever use it? 849 01:04:28,885 --> 01:04:30,927 Why do we get all these... 850 01:04:32,846 --> 01:04:34,451 feelings,... 851 01:04:36,273 --> 01:04:38,926 and dreams, and hopes... 852 01:04:41,133 --> 01:04:43,488 if we don't ever use them? 853 01:04:48,860 --> 01:04:51,695 That's where Shirley Valentine disappeared to. 854 01:04:53,517 --> 01:04:56,758 She got lost in all this unused life. 855 01:05:29,271 --> 01:05:30,811 Dreams,... 856 01:05:32,345 --> 01:05:35,936 they are never in the place you expect them to be. 857 01:05:47,540 --> 01:05:51,203 Come, I er,... I escort you to your hotel. 858 01:05:53,985 --> 01:05:55,351 Okay. 859 01:05:58,516 --> 01:06:02,262 I am... I am Costas Demitriadis. 860 01:06:03,032 --> 01:06:04,497 I'm Shirley... 861 01:06:05,555 --> 01:06:07,524 - Hello. - Hello. 862 01:06:17,787 --> 01:06:19,179 Thanks for seeing me home. 863 01:06:19,180 --> 01:06:21,803 No, I er,... I enjoy it. 864 01:06:25,831 --> 01:06:27,267 So... 865 01:06:28,418 --> 01:06:31,485 Er,... tomorrow, you want come with me? 866 01:06:31,869 --> 01:06:32,845 Pardon? 867 01:06:32,846 --> 01:06:36,696 I... I take brother's boat. We go round the island. 868 01:06:37,656 --> 01:06:39,184 Oh, no, no, thanks. 869 01:06:39,185 --> 01:06:41,539 I mean, honestly, you've been really kind, but... 870 01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:43,012 No, it's no problem. 871 01:06:43,396 --> 01:06:47,463 It's no problem. It's my pleasure. I umm, I come bring you early. 872 01:06:47,752 --> 01:06:50,513 No,... no, no, really. I don't think I should, because... 873 01:06:50,514 --> 01:06:53,619 - You're afraid. - No, no, of course not. 874 01:06:53,620 --> 01:06:54,788 You're afraid. 875 01:06:54,789 --> 01:06:58,015 You're afraid that, I want make fuck with you. 876 01:06:58,592 --> 01:07:00,004 What? 877 01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:02,403 Hahaha... 878 01:07:02,883 --> 01:07:05,123 Of course, I want make fuck with you... 879 01:07:05,124 --> 01:07:06,757 You are beautiful woman... 880 01:07:06,758 --> 01:07:09,743 A man would be crazy not to want make fuck with you, 881 01:07:09,744 --> 01:07:12,665 but... I don't ask you to fuck. 882 01:07:13,049 --> 01:07:15,446 I ask to come on brother's boat. 883 01:07:15,735 --> 01:07:17,270 Different thing. 884 01:07:17,749 --> 01:07:19,134 Boat is boat,... 885 01:07:19,519 --> 01:07:20,959 fuck is fuck. 886 01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:23,516 - Absolutely... bloody... charming! 887 01:07:25,436 --> 01:07:28,892 So, I er,... I come er,... tomorrow morning 9 o'clock umm, 888 01:07:28,893 --> 01:07:32,305 I bring food, I bring wine, and we go. 889 01:07:32,786 --> 01:07:37,219 Er, tomorrow umm,... I just er,... make you happy, eh? 890 01:07:37,602 --> 01:07:39,404 No need to be sad. 891 01:07:40,077 --> 01:07:44,632 - And no need to be afraid. I give word of honour... 892 01:07:45,209 --> 01:07:48,920 I don't try... to make fuck with you. 893 01:07:51,893 --> 01:07:53,208 Okay? 894 01:07:55,319 --> 01:07:56,657 Okay. 895 01:07:58,481 --> 01:08:00,375 See ya in the morning. 896 01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:19,106 Oh, God,... he's come up to me room! 897 01:08:20,738 --> 01:08:22,604 Alright, I'm coming! 898 01:08:27,784 --> 01:08:30,657 Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me? 899 01:08:31,042 --> 01:08:33,718 I've been completely selfish, haven't I? 900 01:08:35,444 --> 01:08:37,519 But I'm going to make it up to you. 901 01:08:38,673 --> 01:08:40,536 - Oh, c'mon, say you forgive me. 902 01:08:40,537 --> 01:08:43,491 - Let's make today the real start of our holiday. 903 01:08:43,682 --> 01:08:46,283 I've hired the car. We'll tow the island... 904 01:08:46,284 --> 01:08:49,726 - Stop off and have lunch somewhere really nice, just the 2 of us. 905 01:08:50,305 --> 01:08:53,169 Oh, Shirley, can you forgive me? 906 01:08:53,843 --> 01:08:55,984 Of course I forgive you. 907 01:08:55,985 --> 01:08:57,233 - Awww. 908 01:09:00,014 --> 01:09:02,786 I know you must have been having the most awful time. 909 01:09:03,554 --> 01:09:06,691 I suppose you've just been sitting here, talking to the wall, haven't you? 910 01:09:06,691 --> 01:09:09,874 Nevermind, I'll do a quick change, and we'll get straight off. 911 01:09:17,644 --> 01:09:19,525 Yes, what is it, room service? 912 01:09:19,910 --> 01:09:21,831 Shirley, did you order something? 913 01:09:23,463 --> 01:09:24,609 Shirley. 914 01:09:25,184 --> 01:09:27,137 Shirley, you come now?... You late! 915 01:09:27,138 --> 01:09:32,317 I put umm,... food, wine on boat, and I wait down, but you don't come. 916 01:09:32,414 --> 01:09:36,334 Then... I realisation... umm... 917 01:09:36,335 --> 01:09:41,092 Shirley and me, we are er, going bed so late last night, 918 01:09:41,093 --> 01:09:41,763 umm,... 919 01:09:41,763 --> 01:09:44,328 - probaby, she's er, overslept. 920 01:09:44,425 --> 01:09:45,767 Oh,... yeah. 921 01:09:45,863 --> 01:09:48,064 - So, umm,... you come now? 922 01:09:48,257 --> 01:09:50,018 I er,... I wait down. 923 01:09:50,403 --> 01:09:52,293 Please... Please hurry. 924 01:09:53,637 --> 01:09:58,111 Oh, I... I umm, apologise for the interrupt... 925 01:09:58,112 --> 01:10:00,751 You may now continue cleaning room. 926 01:10:04,972 --> 01:10:06,257 Shirley... 927 01:10:07,026 --> 01:10:08,464 What are you playing at?! 928 01:10:08,464 --> 01:10:11,777 Me?! You're the one that went off with the 'walking groin'! 929 01:10:11,778 --> 01:10:14,269 Now, look, Shirley, you've never been abroad before. 930 01:10:14,270 --> 01:10:17,844 - You don't know what you're doing. - Jane, he's just a kind man. 931 01:10:17,845 --> 01:10:21,567 Oh, Shirley! Men like that, these Greek islanders,... 932 01:10:21,568 --> 01:10:23,450 they're just waiting for bored, middle aged women! 933 01:10:23,451 --> 01:10:24,840 Don't you dare! 934 01:10:28,293 --> 01:10:29,463 Shirley! 935 01:10:30,616 --> 01:10:32,680 I just hope you know what you're doing. 936 01:10:32,681 --> 01:10:34,818 I hope for your sake, you're going to be safe. 937 01:10:34,819 --> 01:10:37,460 Oh, I'm sure I will. He's a very good sailor... 938 01:10:37,652 --> 01:10:39,558 And anyway, he's given me his word of honour, 939 01:10:39,559 --> 01:10:41,728 he won't try and make fuck with me. 940 01:10:43,935 --> 01:10:46,867 Dougie! Jeannette! How are you both? 941 01:10:46,868 --> 01:10:48,412 This is my friend Jane. 942 01:10:48,413 --> 01:10:51,013 I was just telling her what a marvellous couple you are. 943 01:10:51,398 --> 01:10:52,959 Do you know what she said? 944 01:10:53,823 --> 01:10:56,728 She said, she'd love to spend an hour or 2 on the beach with you. 945 01:10:57,019 --> 01:10:58,443 Bye, bye, Jane. 946 01:10:59,306 --> 01:11:02,534 Well, we were just off to the beach, actually. 947 01:11:03,014 --> 01:11:06,301 You come with us, love. You're more than welcome. 948 01:11:32,773 --> 01:11:34,775 I'm steering the boat, you know. 949 01:11:50,698 --> 01:11:53,571 Shall we try to pass in this direction... 950 01:11:54,243 --> 01:11:57,089 Er, there we are going to find er, small bay. 951 01:11:57,379 --> 01:11:59,105 Very beautiful... 952 01:12:00,543 --> 01:12:02,337 There we are going to fish,... 953 01:12:02,338 --> 01:12:05,069 er, we eat, drink,... talk. 954 01:12:06,029 --> 01:12:07,181 Come on. 955 01:12:37,105 --> 01:12:39,677 - ...but with the rope, you know... - Ohhh... 956 01:12:45,912 --> 01:12:49,844 - What is it with you, Costas? - No, I don't, er... 957 01:12:50,420 --> 01:12:53,158 You really know how to talk to women, don't you? 958 01:12:53,638 --> 01:12:54,919 Well, I... 959 01:12:55,782 --> 01:12:57,678 I mean, most fellas, you know, 960 01:12:57,679 --> 01:12:59,712 they've got no idea how to talk to a woman. 961 01:12:59,809 --> 01:13:01,628 - No? - No. 962 01:13:01,915 --> 01:13:03,975 They feel they have to take over the conversation. 963 01:13:05,221 --> 01:13:07,615 I mean... I mean, with most fellas, if you say something like... 964 01:13:07,616 --> 01:13:09,800 like, "My favourite season's Autumn", they go, 965 01:13:09,801 --> 01:13:11,746 "Oh, is it? My favourite season's Spring", 966 01:13:11,747 --> 01:13:13,924 and then you've got 10 minutes of them talking about why they like Spring, 967 01:13:13,925 --> 01:13:16,812 and you aint talking about Spring... You're talking about Autumn. 968 01:13:20,936 --> 01:13:22,559 So, what d'ya do? 969 01:13:25,437 --> 01:13:27,615 Talk about what they want to talk about,... 970 01:13:28,862 --> 01:13:32,847 or you don't talk at all,... or you wind up talking to yourself. 971 01:13:36,973 --> 01:13:38,641 You don't do that. 972 01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:41,038 No, I know... 973 01:13:41,711 --> 01:13:44,427 I er,... I just like er, listen... 974 01:13:45,675 --> 01:13:47,357 Also look. 975 01:13:52,920 --> 01:13:54,497 For you, I umm,... 976 01:13:55,361 --> 01:13:56,907 I happy. 977 01:14:06,210 --> 01:14:07,560 Hey, Costas,... 978 01:14:08,328 --> 01:14:10,150 how deep do you think it is down there? 979 01:14:10,246 --> 01:14:13,991 - Oh, maybe a thousand metres. - Go away! 980 01:14:14,856 --> 01:14:17,819 Maybe er, maybe 10 thousand. Who knows? 981 01:14:19,067 --> 01:14:20,909 Maybe... maybe it's so deep, 982 01:14:21,677 --> 01:14:23,737 it will go on forever. 983 01:14:25,367 --> 01:14:27,928 - I wanna jump in. - Do you wanna swim? 984 01:14:28,505 --> 01:14:30,334 I wanna jump off the roof! 985 01:14:33,213 --> 01:14:36,945 I think umm,... Shirley Valentine is umm, 986 01:14:36,946 --> 01:14:38,193 little bit crazy. 987 01:14:38,480 --> 01:14:39,463 Costas,... 988 01:14:39,464 --> 01:14:43,108 Shirley Valentine is loop-the-fucking-loop! 989 01:14:43,204 --> 01:14:45,060 Loop-the-fucking-loop? 990 01:14:45,061 --> 01:14:47,767 The only thing is, I... I haven't got me cozzy on. 991 01:14:48,248 --> 01:14:50,015 Now, cozzy, what is? 992 01:14:50,304 --> 01:14:52,318 My swimming costume. 993 01:14:52,311 --> 01:14:53,654 Ahha! 994 01:15:32,209 --> 01:15:33,168 Hey! 995 01:15:51,966 --> 01:15:54,272 It's marvellous to be with such a good man. 996 01:15:55,808 --> 01:15:58,884 I know whatever happens, he won't take anything from me. 997 01:16:00,515 --> 01:16:02,509 I know he'll keep his promise. 998 01:16:03,373 --> 01:16:06,048 The truth is, I don't want him to. 999 01:17:12,416 --> 01:17:14,256 Oh my God!... 1000 01:17:14,353 --> 01:17:16,846 Where did that orchestra come from?! 1001 01:17:17,423 --> 01:17:18,669 Ohh...! 1002 01:17:29,409 --> 01:17:30,463 Oh!... 1003 01:17:33,918 --> 01:17:35,657 He kissed me stretch marks! 1004 01:17:36,712 --> 01:17:38,565 You kissed my stretch marks! 1005 01:17:38,757 --> 01:17:40,195 Oh,... my,... 1006 01:17:40,676 --> 01:17:41,539 don't... 1007 01:17:41,538 --> 01:17:44,542 don't be too stupid to try to hide these lines. 1008 01:17:44,548 --> 01:17:46,555 They... they are lovely, 1009 01:17:46,556 --> 01:17:48,624 because they are part of you, 1010 01:17:48,720 --> 01:17:50,133 and you are lovely, 1011 01:17:50,134 --> 01:17:51,764 so, don't umm,... 1012 01:17:51,765 --> 01:17:53,204 don't hide. 1013 01:17:53,203 --> 01:17:55,331 Be proud, eh. Show them. 1014 01:17:55,332 --> 01:17:58,270 These... these marks show that er,... 1015 01:17:58,271 --> 01:17:59,806 That you're alive... 1016 01:17:59,901 --> 01:18:01,578 That you survive. 1017 01:18:02,059 --> 01:18:05,860 Don't try to hide these lines. They are the marks of life. 1018 01:18:06,245 --> 01:18:08,524 Aren't men full of shit?! 1019 01:18:21,471 --> 01:18:23,492 I think I've fallen in love. 1020 01:18:25,508 --> 01:18:27,218 Oh, for God's sake, Shirley! 1021 01:18:27,219 --> 01:18:29,174 You're acting like a stupid teenager! 1022 01:18:29,749 --> 01:18:31,734 I s'pose the next thing you're gonna tell me was that 1023 01:18:31,735 --> 01:18:33,215 the earth moved. 1024 01:18:33,312 --> 01:18:35,569 Jane, I thought there'd been an earthquake. 1025 01:18:35,570 --> 01:18:38,053 Oh, spare me the details,... please! 1026 01:18:39,396 --> 01:18:41,479 Oh, listen, Jane... 1027 01:18:41,480 --> 01:18:42,728 Jane, listen! 1028 01:18:43,016 --> 01:18:45,313 I... I haven't fallen in love with him. 1029 01:18:45,795 --> 01:18:49,395 It was sweet. It was a day full of... kindness, 1030 01:18:49,876 --> 01:18:51,901 but I haven't fallen in love with him! 1031 01:18:52,285 --> 01:18:53,244 - Pffft. 1032 01:18:56,697 --> 01:18:58,566 I haven't fallen in love with him,... 1033 01:19:00,965 --> 01:19:03,642 I've fallen in love with the idea of living. 1034 01:19:05,943 --> 01:19:07,104 Why? 1035 01:19:07,584 --> 01:19:09,812 I mean, why'd she have to do this to me? 1036 01:19:10,867 --> 01:19:12,780 If she wanted to go on holiday... 1037 01:19:12,972 --> 01:19:16,297 all she had to do was ask. I'd have let her. 1038 01:19:17,257 --> 01:19:19,185 There was no need for deceit. 1039 01:19:19,474 --> 01:19:22,452 I mean, I may not be the best husband in the world,... wall, 1040 01:19:22,453 --> 01:19:23,699 but I love her. 1041 01:19:23,795 --> 01:19:27,088 I do, I love her... Honest! 1042 01:19:27,664 --> 01:19:29,178 Flowers... 1043 01:19:29,947 --> 01:19:32,025 - Are they good? - Yes, good flowers. 1044 01:19:32,314 --> 01:19:34,184 - How much is it? - 500 1045 01:19:36,583 --> 01:19:37,638 Here ya are. 1046 01:19:37,926 --> 01:19:41,576 - Thank you very much. - Oh, thank you. 1047 01:19:45,797 --> 01:19:47,862 - Bravo, Miguelo! Bravo! 1048 01:19:49,972 --> 01:19:51,412 - Bravo, Miguelo! 1049 01:20:21,142 --> 01:20:22,393 Shirley! 1050 01:20:23,641 --> 01:20:26,201 Come this way, come... Join the family. 1051 01:20:26,202 --> 01:20:27,448 My neice is becoming married. 1052 01:20:27,452 --> 01:20:28,691 No, no, I can't. 1053 01:20:28,691 --> 01:20:30,645 - I would be interfering... - Oh, come, come, look, please. 1054 01:20:30,837 --> 01:20:33,291 It's good... it's good that we meet here. 1055 01:22:38,544 --> 01:22:39,803 Bravo! 1056 01:22:46,805 --> 01:22:49,202 - You enjoy this wedding? - It's wonderful! 1057 01:22:50,737 --> 01:22:53,236 The man that standing there, in the denim jacket... 1058 01:22:54,100 --> 01:22:55,844 I'll tell you something really funny... 1059 01:22:56,038 --> 01:22:59,778 For 2 years... - Sorry, Madam, I need to borrow Costas! 1060 01:23:37,283 --> 01:23:39,396 Shirley... Shirley... 1061 01:23:39,397 --> 01:23:40,837 Where are you going? 1062 01:23:40,845 --> 01:23:44,109 You don't like my family, my friends? 1063 01:23:44,109 --> 01:23:46,536 Oh, no, Costas, they're lovely! 1064 01:23:46,537 --> 01:23:48,765 So, why... why you go? 1065 01:23:48,861 --> 01:23:52,219 I just... I just wanna be on my own for a bit. 1066 01:23:53,571 --> 01:23:54,718 Do you undertstand? 1067 01:23:55,679 --> 01:23:57,713 You... you are again sad? 1068 01:23:58,962 --> 01:23:59,882 No. 1069 01:24:00,842 --> 01:24:02,732 No, I'm not sad, it's... 1070 01:24:02,924 --> 01:24:05,423 just that I go back home... soon. 1071 01:24:06,670 --> 01:24:09,153 Back to your own life. 1072 01:24:10,209 --> 01:24:11,510 Yeah. 1073 01:24:13,813 --> 01:24:17,062 Go on,.... go, go back, they're all waiting for ya! 1074 01:24:17,063 --> 01:24:18,218 Why...? 1075 01:24:20,712 --> 01:24:24,374 - I... I see you tomorrow? - Yeah, see you tomorrow. 1076 01:24:45,476 --> 01:24:47,631 I've got this thought in my head. 1077 01:24:49,838 --> 01:24:51,601 This shocking thought, 1078 01:24:53,136 --> 01:24:54,819 and it won't go away. 1079 01:24:56,642 --> 01:24:59,347 I keep trying to think of other things,... 1080 01:24:59,348 --> 01:25:01,810 to make this thought go away, but it won't. 1081 01:25:04,016 --> 01:25:06,248 It's always there, in me head. 1082 01:25:19,484 --> 01:25:21,033 If... 1083 01:25:24,200 --> 01:25:28,107 if for some reason... I didn't go back home,... 1084 01:25:30,507 --> 01:25:32,546 who would miss me? 1085 01:25:43,670 --> 01:25:44,726 Aye? 1086 01:25:45,589 --> 01:25:49,121 - 2 coffees, please. - Oh, yeah. 1087 01:25:51,137 --> 01:25:53,162 Yeah, 2 coffees... Right. 1088 01:25:57,574 --> 01:25:59,176 I mean, look... 1089 01:25:59,848 --> 01:26:02,628 If I didn't go back, who would really care? 1090 01:26:03,971 --> 01:26:10,032 They... they... they'd notice I wasn't there, but they wouldn'y miss me,... would they? 1091 01:26:13,965 --> 01:26:18,013 Why should I go back to being that woman, when that woman isn't needed anymore? 1092 01:26:19,357 --> 01:26:20,625 I told ya,... 1093 01:26:22,928 --> 01:26:25,021 there's nothing else for me to do. 1094 01:26:29,432 --> 01:26:30,487 Oh. 1095 01:26:32,215 --> 01:26:35,785 - Shirley, who are you talking? - The wall, Costas... 1096 01:26:36,457 --> 01:26:37,704 Just the wall. 1097 01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:41,411 My God! 1098 01:26:45,631 --> 01:26:47,833 Excuse me, waiter. 1099 01:26:47,834 --> 01:26:49,915 I'm serious, Jane. I mean it. 1100 01:26:49,916 --> 01:26:52,693 Oh, for God's sake! What about your children, for a start?! 1101 01:26:52,694 --> 01:26:55,583 What about them? They're grown up. 1102 01:26:55,584 --> 01:26:59,243 Jane, I've spent 20 odd years, rearing them, 1103 01:26:59,244 --> 01:27:01,579 looking after them 'til they were old enough to make their own way, 1104 01:27:01,580 --> 01:27:03,230 and they have... They've gone. 1105 01:27:03,806 --> 01:27:07,808 Oh, I mean, they'll say it's awful... They'll say it's terrible 1106 01:27:07,809 --> 01:27:11,530 to have a Mother who went on holiday, and didn't come back, but... 1107 01:27:11,531 --> 01:27:13,116 they'll get over it. 1108 01:27:14,363 --> 01:27:15,707 I mean,... 1109 01:27:16,091 --> 01:27:19,580 would it cause anyone any real suffering if I didn't go home? 1110 01:27:21,883 --> 01:27:25,341 - Would it, Jane? - Shirley, every year, 1111 01:27:25,342 --> 01:27:27,943 millions and millions of people go on holiday, 1112 01:27:27,944 --> 01:27:31,582 and every year, those same millions and millions of people have such a good time 1113 01:27:31,583 --> 01:27:33,428 that they don't wanna go back. 1114 01:27:34,004 --> 01:27:36,668 - Yeah, but just supposing... - And that's all there is to it. 1115 01:27:36,669 --> 01:27:39,887 Now, if you don't mind, Shirley, I'm trying to order lunch. 1116 01:27:40,848 --> 01:27:43,035 Can we have 2 Greek salads please? 1117 01:27:43,514 --> 01:27:46,508 - And... stuffed tomatoes. - Yeah. 1118 01:27:46,797 --> 01:27:48,341 - And is the mussaka special? - Yes. 1119 01:27:48,438 --> 01:27:51,574 - Yeah, mussaka special please. - And one lamb with green beans. 1120 01:27:51,575 --> 01:27:52,555 - Yeah,... 1121 01:27:53,994 --> 01:27:56,899 because we don't do what we want to do, do we? 1122 01:27:57,571 --> 01:28:00,784 We do what we have to do, and pretend it's what we want to do. 1123 01:28:01,647 --> 01:28:06,252 And what I want to do is to stay here, and be Shirley Valentine,... 1124 01:28:07,211 --> 01:28:09,612 but what I have to do is to go back,... 1125 01:28:09,612 --> 01:28:12,477 back to being Saint Joan of the kitchen sink. 1126 01:28:16,218 --> 01:28:19,861 - Shirley, come on, it's just going! - I'm coming! 1127 01:28:20,821 --> 01:28:23,319 Goodbye, Renos... thanks. 1128 01:28:24,087 --> 01:28:26,903 Madam, you come back next year, I hope. 1129 01:28:26,904 --> 01:28:30,972 - Oh, Renos, I hope. - Good trip, Madam. 1130 01:28:32,796 --> 01:28:34,425 Thank you, Renos. 1131 01:28:36,153 --> 01:28:39,807 - Shirley, your bags are onboard. Come on! 1132 01:28:47,383 --> 01:28:49,740 Shirley! There you go. 1133 01:28:52,138 --> 01:28:55,452 Costas,... we said goodbye. 1134 01:28:55,645 --> 01:28:59,323 Yes, but umm,... I am here. 1135 01:29:01,530 --> 01:29:02,725 So... 1136 01:29:04,452 --> 01:29:06,101 Goodbye, Shirley... 1137 01:29:07,252 --> 01:29:09,553 Goodbye, Shirley Valentine. 1138 01:29:11,473 --> 01:29:12,999 See ya, Costas. 1139 01:29:15,782 --> 01:29:17,892 - Ohhh... - Ohhh... 1140 01:29:54,528 --> 01:29:56,697 - There are 2 of you? - Yeah, 2. 1141 01:30:07,057 --> 01:30:08,140 Thank you. 1142 01:30:08,715 --> 01:30:09,771 Right then. 1143 01:30:10,059 --> 01:30:11,443 Your attention please... 1144 01:30:11,444 --> 01:30:15,911 This is the last call for Olympic Airways flight 259, to Manchester... 1145 01:30:15,912 --> 01:30:18,654 Closing now at gate number 1. 1146 01:30:26,230 --> 01:30:27,544 Shirley! 1147 01:30:28,407 --> 01:30:30,516 Shirley, where are you going?! 1148 01:30:31,475 --> 01:30:32,747 Shirley! 1149 01:30:38,118 --> 01:30:40,871 - She's gone. - What d'ya expect? 1150 01:30:40,872 --> 01:30:42,543 Jeanette. 1151 01:30:54,820 --> 01:30:57,637 - And tomorrow, we take my brother's boat... 1152 01:30:57,638 --> 01:31:01,082 Go all round the island. Afraid? 1153 01:31:02,522 --> 01:31:05,178 Afraid that I want try make fuck with you. 1154 01:31:05,179 --> 01:31:06,355 What? 1155 01:31:06,739 --> 01:31:10,444 But I don't ask to try to make fuck with you, I... 1156 01:31:10,444 --> 01:31:13,831 I ask to come brother's boat. It's different thing... 1157 01:31:14,025 --> 01:31:17,617 Boat is boat, and fuck is... fuck. 1158 01:31:21,166 --> 01:31:24,996 My goodness! E... e... excuse me for one moment. 1159 01:31:27,970 --> 01:31:30,483 It's alright, Costas, you don't have to worry. 1160 01:31:30,676 --> 01:31:32,237 You lose the plane? 1161 01:31:32,238 --> 01:31:35,234 Don't worry, Costas, I haven't come back for you! 1162 01:31:36,385 --> 01:31:39,865 I've come back for a job. A job in this taverna. 1163 01:31:39,866 --> 01:31:43,926 - You sure? You... you want work here? - Yeah, why not? 1164 01:31:43,927 --> 01:31:46,520 I mean, this place could do with someone to sort it out. 1165 01:31:46,521 --> 01:31:51,179 I mean, given the amount of time you spend on your brother's boat. 1166 01:32:10,650 --> 01:32:14,286 Sorry, Joe,... she's not coming back. 1167 01:32:20,519 --> 01:32:24,793 ...and I'll tell you what, and I'll tell you what, I said, "Never again, Douglas". 1168 01:33:06,130 --> 01:33:09,761 Shirley... Someone to see you on the telephone. 1169 01:33:17,914 --> 01:33:20,074 - Hello. - You're a disgrace! 1170 01:33:20,075 --> 01:33:24,275 A bloody disgrace,... to... t... to the children, 1171 01:33:24,276 --> 01:33:26,921 to me,... to yourself! 1172 01:33:27,306 --> 01:33:30,603 I'm a laughing stock. That's what I am, a laughing stock! 1173 01:33:30,987 --> 01:33:34,603 - Listen, Joe, umm, I can't talk now, I'm busy. 1174 01:33:34,604 --> 01:33:36,230 - Ya busy doing what? What ya doing? 1175 01:33:36,231 --> 01:33:38,334 I'm... I'm working. D'ya understand? 1176 01:33:38,335 --> 01:33:40,386 No, I bloody don't understand! 1177 01:33:41,249 --> 01:33:43,739 I've taken time from work because of you. 1178 01:33:43,836 --> 01:33:46,452 - Stop this arsing around, and get yourself back home! 1179 01:33:46,453 --> 01:33:47,936 I've had just about enough... 1180 01:33:48,895 --> 01:33:50,321 Hello? 1181 01:33:50,801 --> 01:33:52,307 Shirley? 1182 01:33:54,036 --> 01:33:55,827 Shirl', are you there? 1183 01:34:05,037 --> 01:34:10,093 - Here, Miss? Er, what's this er, klef... - Kleftiko. It's very nice. 1184 01:34:10,094 --> 01:34:13,095 - Oh, you're English! - Well, what a relief! 1185 01:34:13,096 --> 01:34:17,275 - Well, what is this klef... klef...? - Kleftiko. Oh, it's lovely. 1186 01:34:17,276 --> 01:34:20,269 It's lamb cooked very, very slowly in oregano. 1187 01:34:20,462 --> 01:34:24,399 - No, I... I... I don't think so. - It's all bit umm, umm,... 1188 01:34:24,400 --> 01:34:28,386 Tell ya what. Listen er, it's not on the menu, 1189 01:34:28,387 --> 01:34:30,668 but would ya like me to do ya both some chips n' egg? 1190 01:34:30,669 --> 01:34:33,093 - Ohhh, yes! - Smashing! 1191 01:34:33,286 --> 01:34:34,556 Right. 1192 01:34:37,337 --> 01:34:40,572 - I'm phoning from work, because our phone's out of order, that's why. 1193 01:34:40,572 --> 01:34:41,875 - Why? 1194 01:34:41,971 --> 01:34:44,013 It's costing me a bleeding fortune this time of the day... 1195 01:34:44,014 --> 01:34:45,567 Now, listen to me, Shirl',... 1196 01:34:45,664 --> 01:34:47,697 you belong back here! 1197 01:34:48,178 --> 01:34:50,851 Don't put the phone down. Don't... Hello, Shirley? 1198 01:34:51,044 --> 01:34:52,344 Now, listen,... 1199 01:34:52,536 --> 01:34:55,418 Jane's told me all about it, you know, about umm,... 1200 01:34:55,610 --> 01:34:58,833 about you, making a fool of yourself with this holiday romance thing. 1201 01:34:58,834 --> 01:35:01,306 - No... no, Joe, you've got it all wrong. 1202 01:35:01,307 --> 01:35:05,188 - O... o... okay umm,... alright, okay, it happens, okay, 1203 01:35:05,189 --> 01:35:08,824 middle aged women makes fools of themselves when they go abroad, 1204 01:35:09,112 --> 01:35:13,515 but look, I'm prepared to forgive ya, if you're prepared 1205 01:35:13,611 --> 01:35:17,261 to promise that you'll get yourself on a plane, 1206 01:35:17,262 --> 01:35:18,887 and get yourself back home. 1207 01:35:18,888 --> 01:35:22,083 Joe, will ya listen for one moment? Will ya just listen?! 1208 01:35:23,522 --> 01:35:27,125 The only holiday romance I've had is with myself,... 1209 01:35:28,086 --> 01:35:29,348 and... 1210 01:35:29,637 --> 01:35:32,513 and I think I've come to like myself really. 1211 01:35:32,994 --> 01:35:34,818 I think I'm alright. 1212 01:35:35,491 --> 01:35:39,376 I think if I saw myself, I'd say, "That woman's okay". 1213 01:35:40,240 --> 01:35:43,424 - But, Shirl', ya can't just run away from life. 1214 01:35:43,425 --> 01:35:45,578 - That's right, Joe, I agree with you! 1215 01:35:46,060 --> 01:35:47,708 And now that I have found some life, 1216 01:35:47,708 --> 01:35:50,260 I have no intention of running away from it. 1217 01:35:50,261 --> 01:35:51,527 - But you belong back here. 1218 01:35:51,528 --> 01:35:53,992 - Please, Joe. It's no good to keep phoning, 1219 01:35:53,993 --> 01:35:55,787 because I'm not coming back. 1220 01:35:57,226 --> 01:35:59,854 Can't you understand? I'm not coming home. 1221 01:36:00,719 --> 01:36:03,081 But, Shirley, don't you understand, love,... 1222 01:36:03,656 --> 01:36:04,839 you don't know what you're saying, 1223 01:36:04,840 --> 01:36:08,274 because you're going through the... the change of life. 1224 01:36:08,563 --> 01:36:12,511 That's right, Joe. That's exactly what it is... 1225 01:36:13,279 --> 01:36:15,182 It's a change of life. 1226 01:36:18,923 --> 01:36:21,004 Why don't you go and see her, Dad? 1227 01:36:21,964 --> 01:36:24,398 She's in Greece. She's not down the soddin' road! 1228 01:36:24,399 --> 01:36:27,008 - So? Go to Greece!. - Go to Greece... 1229 01:36:27,296 --> 01:36:28,939 I've got a business to run! 1230 01:36:29,419 --> 01:36:31,360 What is it with people when they get old? 1231 01:36:31,744 --> 01:36:34,717 Old?... Who's old? I'm only in my forties. 1232 01:36:34,719 --> 01:36:37,992 Yeah, I know,... but you're frightened, aren't ya? 1233 01:36:38,377 --> 01:36:39,464 Frightened of what? 1234 01:36:39,465 --> 01:36:41,948 You're frightened of anything that's different, Dad. 1235 01:36:43,099 --> 01:36:46,902 I used to like you,... I did! You were great, you know... 1236 01:36:46,903 --> 01:36:49,562 Used to laugh, used to talk to us all. 1237 01:36:51,002 --> 01:36:53,732 You've not half become a boring bastard. 1238 01:36:58,335 --> 01:37:00,063 Oh, here she is! 1239 01:37:00,256 --> 01:37:02,471 - Chips n' egg? - Smashing! 1240 01:37:05,828 --> 01:37:08,346 - Hello, Costas. - Hello, Shirl'. 1241 01:37:08,347 --> 01:37:09,498 Hey,... 1242 01:37:09,786 --> 01:37:11,704 come for you, one telegram. 1243 01:37:11,801 --> 01:37:12,951 - Oh... 1244 01:37:15,827 --> 01:37:17,093 Bad news? 1245 01:37:17,956 --> 01:37:19,203 No. 1246 01:37:19,685 --> 01:37:22,085 - No, not really, it's from Joe. - Ah. 1247 01:37:22,086 --> 01:37:24,496 He's coming to fetch me, to take me back home. 1248 01:37:24,688 --> 01:37:27,750 God, love him. He must have been watching "Rambo"! 1249 01:37:28,421 --> 01:37:29,571 "Rambo?". 1250 01:37:29,572 --> 01:37:32,311 - What, Joe is coming here? - Yeah. 1251 01:37:32,695 --> 01:37:35,279 - When er, when he come? - Er, Friday. 1252 01:37:35,280 --> 01:37:39,215 - Friday er,... tomorrow Friday? - Yeah. 1253 01:37:40,655 --> 01:37:45,183 Yeah, that's, ohhh, it's pity because... umm, I received telephone call, 1254 01:37:45,184 --> 01:37:49,747 I must go... er, in Athens. Er, my sister's very sick... umm,.... 1255 01:37:49,748 --> 01:37:52,118 she want me to... to be. 1256 01:37:52,790 --> 01:37:53,891 So... 1257 01:37:54,274 --> 01:37:55,714 I sorry. 1258 01:37:56,672 --> 01:37:58,243 You understand, Shirley? 1259 01:37:58,818 --> 01:38:02,353 Ohhh, yeahhh, Costas, of course I understand! 1260 01:38:06,382 --> 01:38:07,584 Goodnight, Shirley. 1261 01:38:07,585 --> 01:38:09,519 - Goodnight, Julie. Goodnight, John. 1262 01:39:23,078 --> 01:39:25,553 Aww, I hope he stays for a while. 1263 01:39:27,281 --> 01:39:29,284 He needs a holiday. 1264 01:39:30,723 --> 01:39:32,589 He needs to feel the sun on his skin, 1265 01:39:32,590 --> 01:39:35,683 and to be in water that's as deep as forever. 1266 01:40:11,073 --> 01:40:12,458 Joe. 1267 01:40:27,707 --> 01:40:29,606 I didn't recognise ya. 1268 01:40:30,566 --> 01:40:31,928 I know. 1269 01:40:33,464 --> 01:40:37,773 I used to be the Mother. I used to be the wife,... 1270 01:40:39,213 --> 01:40:41,656 but now I'm Shirley Valentine again. 1271 01:40:48,275 --> 01:40:50,454 Would you like to join me for a drink? 1272 01:40:53,332 --> 01:40:54,561 Er,... 1273 01:40:56,000 --> 01:40:57,321 thanks. 1273 01:40:58,305 --> 01:41:04,152 Please rate this subtitle at %url% Help other users to choose the best subtitles 101646

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