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1
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A POP Original Series
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Alexis: [Frustrated grunts]
3
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[Struggling grunts]
Agh!
4
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,013
Agh!
5
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,579
- Are you sure you don't
want any help with that?
6
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,668
- I fit my high school best
friend into a suitcase
7
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,844
way smaller than this when
we were crossing the border
8
00:00:18,888 --> 00:00:21,064
between Laos and Vietnam,
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00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,501
so I'm pretty sure
I can figure this out.
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00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:26,461
Ooh, I can't wait to get
to the Galapagos and like,
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00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:29,072
breathe the sea air
and get my--
12
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,378
- Beach curls back.
13
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,596
Yeah, you've mentioned that
a couple times.
14
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,859
- Are you still trying
to close that thing?
15
00:00:33,903 --> 00:00:35,687
- Agh!
- Boys, it looks like
16
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:38,081
I won't be able to see that
wedding venue with you today,
17
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,865
your mother's had a bit
of a relapse.
18
00:00:39,909 --> 00:00:41,911
- Take it the "Crows" movie
is still shelved.
19
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,565
- I'm sorry, we've started
looking at wedding venues
20
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:45,567
and no one chose to tell me?
21
00:00:45,610 --> 00:00:48,309
- Touring a wedding venue is
an incredibly intimate thing
22
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:50,093
and we wanted to keep it small.
23
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:51,616
- You invited Dad.
24
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,576
- Okay, I don't know what that's
supposed to mean, Alexis.
25
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,143
Moira: John, something's
happening!
26
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:59,842
- Coming, Moira.
Don't make any sudden moves.
27
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:01,278
- Okay, you should probably
stay here.
28
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,714
- No, you shouldn't-
Okay.
29
00:01:02,758 --> 00:01:03,933
[Rattling]
30
00:01:05,891 --> 00:01:08,851
- John, remind me
to reprimand that latch,
31
00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:11,071
it's been awfully moody today.
32
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,638
- Well, good-good morning,
Sweetheart.
33
00:01:13,682 --> 00:01:15,771
Look who's come to see you.
34
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:19,035
- Finally. I'll have
the continental breakfast
35
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,690
with the fresh-squeezed
grapefruit juice.
36
00:01:21,733 --> 00:01:24,171
- [John chuckles]
- Orange Pekoe tea.
37
00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,956
- No, Moira, Moira,
it's-it's David and Patrick.
38
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:28,175
- Um?
39
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,915
- Don't we have something
we want to say?
40
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,830
- Yes, thank you, John.
41
00:01:31,874 --> 00:01:35,051
Sadly, I won't be able
to squire you
42
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,185
for today's wedding venue
peregrination.
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- You invited Mom?
44
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She's literally been asleep
in a closet for a week.
45
00:01:42,711 --> 00:01:44,669
- Just know that missing this
46
00:01:44,713 --> 00:01:47,759
will be the heavy-hearted
part of my day.
47
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,718
- Okay, does nobody care
that I'm going to be gone
48
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:50,980
for six months?
49
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,895
- Yes, of course we care,
Honey.
50
00:01:52,938 --> 00:01:54,766
Don't we, Moira?
- Take me with you.
51
00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,159
- Okay. On that note,
52
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:58,118
I think we should get you
out of the room.
53
00:01:58,161 --> 00:01:59,728
- Alexis, you are more than
welcome
54
00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:02,165
to come see the place with us.
- Thank you.
55
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,993
That actually works out super
well for me
56
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:05,212
because you guys
can just drive me
57
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,953
straight to the airport after.
Hm-hm-hm.
58
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:10,695
- See what you've done there?
- Yeah.
59
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,784
- Mhmm. Out. Out, out, out.
60
00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:17,963
♪♪♪
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[Fire alarm beeping]
62
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- John! Can you turn off your
alarm?
63
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:27,669
[Frustrated exhale]
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00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:31,107
David! I've asked you
not to over indulge
65
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,891
in that smoky cologne,
66
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:35,242
it's enough to give someone
a seizure!
67
00:02:35,285 --> 00:02:37,244
[Coughing]
68
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:39,246
Is someone vaping?
69
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:42,249
[Doors rattle]
Oh no, not now!
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00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,902
Help!
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00:02:43,946 --> 00:02:45,339
[Panicked] Alexis!
72
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,906
No, this is not,
this is not how I go!
73
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:49,908
Somebody help!
74
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,258
- [Coughing] Moira!
75
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:52,998
- Oh, Stevie, thank God.
76
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,827
I'm being annulled by
a chancy door clasp!
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00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:57,786
- Okay, hang on.
78
00:02:57,829 --> 00:02:58,874
- Ahhh!
79
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,223
- Okay, all right,
all right, okay.
80
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:02,312
Up, up. There we go.
81
00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,749
Jeez, Moira,
I wait 'til at least 10:30
82
00:03:04,793 --> 00:03:06,011
before I have my first beer.
83
00:03:06,055 --> 00:03:09,145
- Oh, my legs are in slumber.
Carry me.
84
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,755
- Oh I can't--
85
00:03:10,799 --> 00:03:12,975
Oh jeez, okay. Hang on.
86
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,455
[Effort grunt]
87
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:16,413
You know, Moira, if Johnny
locked you in that closet,
88
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:17,980
we're going to have
to call the police.
89
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:21,244
- Oh wait, wait, wait, wait.
My babies--
90
00:03:21,288 --> 00:03:23,028
- No, your kids aren't here.
- My girls.
91
00:03:23,072 --> 00:03:24,291
- What girls?
- My girls.
92
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:26,728
Lorna, second from the left.
- Okay.
93
00:03:26,771 --> 00:03:28,338
- If she takes on smoke,
she'll never recover.
94
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,993
- Okay, this? This one?
- And Cindy!
95
00:03:31,036 --> 00:03:34,257
Cindy, below her. Cindy,
I just gave her a blowout.
96
00:03:34,301 --> 00:03:36,041
[Car rumbles]
97
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,313
[Engine cuts-out, doors open]
98
00:03:46,356 --> 00:03:49,054
- Wow.
This place looks nice.
99
00:03:49,098 --> 00:03:50,752
- Yeah, it's the only venue
for miles
100
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,057
that doesn't look like
a crime scene
101
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from a missing person
docu-series.
102
00:03:54,146 --> 00:03:56,061
- Uh, so no one thought
to tell me
103
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,063
I still have my show
makeup on?
104
00:03:58,107 --> 00:04:00,327
- I thought that was a choice.
105
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:02,503
- Yeah, I left Stevie
double-fisting drinks
106
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:05,288
in a hot tub at the cabaret
wrap party last night.
107
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:07,856
- I think I saw you
triple-fisting at one point.
108
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:11,163
- Ah, welcome
to Elmbridge Manor,
109
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:14,079
and you must be the happy
couple.
110
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:16,995
- Oh no, not quite.
- God, no.
111
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:19,781
- Oh, ladies, I'm so sorry.
Congratulations.
112
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,826
- Champagne?
- Oh, thank you so much.
113
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:23,350
- Thank you.
- Mhmm, hi. [Laughs]
114
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David Rose.
I'm the one getting married
115
00:04:25,221 --> 00:04:27,310
and this is my partner,
Patrick.
116
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:28,311
- Hi.
- So.
117
00:04:30,008 --> 00:04:31,532
- Gentlemen, please forgive me.
I looked at your friend's face
118
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,534
and thought someone had just
come from her make up trial.
119
00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:37,102
Now, if our grooms and the...
120
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:40,976
uh, other couple
would like to follow me,
121
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,195
I will begin our tour.
- Wonderful.
122
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,286
- You look great.
123
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[Birds chirp]
124
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- All of our catering
is provided
125
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:53,249
by the neighbouring farm.
126
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:57,122
We have fresh cheeses,
breads, meats.
127
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:00,561
Oh, now I do apologize
if the peonies back there
128
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,345
were a little overwhelming,
129
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:05,130
it rained last night
and they just bloomed.
130
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,309
[Water splashes lightly]
131
00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:12,137
- It's perfect.
132
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:15,097
- David, I know you've made me
relinquish most,
133
00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,099
if not all of the wedding
planning to you at this point,
134
00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:18,970
but for what it's worth,
135
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:21,321
this place is beautiful.
136
00:05:22,887 --> 00:05:24,846
- I think this is it.
-Mhmm.
137
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:27,414
- I think this is it, guys!
138
00:05:27,457 --> 00:05:29,154
- See, David?
139
00:05:29,198 --> 00:05:31,287
Imagine if I wasn't here
for this moment.
140
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,507
- Mhmm, okay.
Glad you're here.
141
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,465
- So, do we have a winner?
142
00:05:37,162 --> 00:05:38,381
- If you're happy, I'm happy.
143
00:05:40,427 --> 00:05:42,516
- We have a winner, Clive!
144
00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,344
- Yes!
- [All laugh]
145
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,869
- It's a hell of a story,
Johnny.
146
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,436
So I'm next door,
I'm cleaning the bathroom
147
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:50,915
and I want a snack.
148
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:53,004
So I grab some of those jail
time toaster pops
149
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:54,397
and I put them in the toaster,
150
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,965
and suddenly there's a fire.
- Oh, Roland.
151
00:05:57,008 --> 00:05:59,010
- Why do they call them toaster
pops
152
00:05:59,054 --> 00:06:01,448
if it says on the box,
"Do not toast"?
153
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,493
- How mercurial is life?
154
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,453
We all imagine being
carried from the ashes
155
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:08,150
by the Goddess Artemis
156
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:11,936
and here I get a balatron
from Barnum and Bailey.
157
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,242
[Small laugh]
- Okay.
158
00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:15,070
I, I have no idea
what that means,
159
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,985
but it doesn't sound good.
160
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,508
Okay, I'm gonna go to lunch.
161
00:06:18,552 --> 00:06:21,903
Gotta get this burnt toaster
pop taste out of my mouth.
162
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,339
Excuse me.
163
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,429
- Moira. I'm just glad
you're okay.
164
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,909
- Hm.
165
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:29,171
- And first thing
in the morning,
166
00:06:29,214 --> 00:06:31,347
I'm going in and I'm fixing
these latches.
167
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,653
- No need, John.
168
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,481
I have been gifted
a smoke signal
169
00:06:34,524 --> 00:06:37,397
and you will never again find
me back in the closet.
170
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:41,009
- Well, why don't we take
this one step at a time?
171
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,141
- This may come as a shock
to you, dear, but...
172
00:06:44,447 --> 00:06:47,363
I don't believe my career
has been that kind to me.
173
00:06:48,799 --> 00:06:50,845
- What?
- I all but perished
174
00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,499
in the name of an unrequited
love
175
00:06:52,542 --> 00:06:57,112
for an industry that has burned
me over and over again.
176
00:06:57,155 --> 00:07:00,289
- It's been difficult watching
you go through this, Moira.
177
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,465
- I know you'll want to fight
me tooth and nail, John.
178
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:08,253
It's time my career
took its final bow.
179
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,171
- Now, if, if...
180
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,435
if that's what you want,
Moira,
181
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,483
just know that I'm here
if you need me for anything.
182
00:07:20,527 --> 00:07:23,051
- Oh, I have never needed less.
183
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,097
Shall we take lunch outside
today?
184
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:29,492
- What a great idea.
- Lay a blanket somewhere!
185
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:31,407
- If you're feeling up for it,
186
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:33,409
I mean I, I, I know you're
still a bit shaken.
187
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:36,891
- That's just it, John,
I have never felt more lucid.
188
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,980
- I'll fix a basket.
189
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,591
- And I am including that
Peruvian ayahuasca retreat
190
00:07:41,635 --> 00:07:43,941
we embarked upon
with Al and Tipper.
191
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:45,160
- Okay.
192
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,295
- [Satisfied exhale]
193
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,950
[Classical music plays]
[Camera clicks]
194
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:55,257
- Okay, smiles over here please.
195
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:56,650
Ted wants to know
what we're doing.
196
00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:00,349
Okay, like, a little less eager
and maybe one without Stevie.
197
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:01,959
No offense.
- All right. Alexis,
198
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:03,221
could you put the phone down?
199
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:04,658
You're gonn be spending six
months with Ted,
200
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:06,573
I think the two of you can
chill for a minute.
201
00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,751
- Okay, this is our pricing
guide.
202
00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:15,320
Starting with our gold,
silver, and bronze packages.
203
00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:16,844
But, as you'll see,
204
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:19,499
we can really accommodate
almost any request.
205
00:08:20,630 --> 00:08:23,459
- Are these in dollars?
- Hm.
206
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,591
- Okay, um...
207
00:08:25,896 --> 00:08:28,682
is there a package lower
than the bronze package?
208
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:31,554
Perhaps a copper package?
- [Laughs] No,
209
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:33,730
we can't accommodate that.
210
00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,863
- Did you not ask to see
the prices in advance?
211
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,473
- They don't provide--
212
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,867
- We don't provide pricing
in advance.
213
00:08:39,910 --> 00:08:41,564
- Well, now we know why.
214
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,348
- This might be the worst day
of my life.
215
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,350
- Okay, look.
216
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,570
You're clearly very desperate
217
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:49,746
and I'm feeling terribly
for you.
218
00:08:49,790 --> 00:08:51,531
- I don't love the way
you phrase that.
219
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:55,578
- Now, we did just have
a cancellation earlier
220
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,407
in the week for a Sunday
afternoon.
221
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,452
- Sundays are good.
- We can work with that.
222
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:02,411
- Now, the first Sunday
of every month
223
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:03,630
is discounted already
224
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,545
and we're unlikely
to find someone else
225
00:09:05,588 --> 00:09:07,111
this late in the game.
226
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:11,028
So, I would be happy to offer
you an additional 30% off.
227
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:12,682
- Oh my God!
228
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:16,512
- Yes, but the only problem is:
it's a month from today.
229
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,688
- This is basically free!
230
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,603
- David, that's not enough time.
231
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,431
We need to give people notice.
232
00:09:22,474 --> 00:09:24,085
- Uh, I planned my ex
girlfriend's intervention
233
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,608
in less than an hour.
234
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,610
Plus, it'll weed out all
the dead weight.
235
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:30,613
- Um... I will not be here
in one month,
236
00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:33,485
so I guess that makes me
the dead weight?
237
00:09:36,488 --> 00:09:38,360
- I'm feeling a little tension.
238
00:09:38,403 --> 00:09:40,449
- We're gonna find another
venue, okay?
239
00:09:40,492 --> 00:09:42,494
We can't get married
without Alexis.
240
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:44,584
- Why? She's the one that can't
wait to get out of here.
241
00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:47,499
I once dated someone who left
me for a stuffed animal.
242
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,110
I'm not having my big day--
- Our--
243
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,547
- Our big day compromised
244
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,377
because Alexis wanted to chill
in a tankini for six months.
245
00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:58,510
- [Shocked scoff]
- [Hard exhale]
246
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,991
- Honestly, David,
247
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,950
if this is the kind of bride
you're going to be,
248
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,343
I'm glad that I'm leaving.
- Wha-?
249
00:10:06,823 --> 00:10:09,478
- And I would never
wear a tankini!
250
00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:15,745
- Uh, just so you're aware,
251
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:18,443
that is house made bacon
from the farm up the road.
252
00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:21,925
- Oh, give me this.
- Can... is that for everyone?
253
00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:23,971
- Oh, Please, please.
- Oh my God.
254
00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,632
[Door opens]
- Okay! God.
255
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:36,157
- Well, I guess congratulations
are in order.
256
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,159
- We didn't end up
taking the venue.
257
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:41,205
- Really? What stopped you?
258
00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,555
Did they like,
run out of sandwiches or...?
259
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,645
- Uh, yes. But that's not why.
260
00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:49,692
We don't want to get married
without you here, okay?
261
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:52,042
- And?
- And, David?
262
00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:55,393
- And I didn't mean to make
you feel
263
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:57,308
excluded from the day.
264
00:10:58,527 --> 00:11:00,224
Then again,
when all you talk about
265
00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,183
is how excited you are
to get out of here,
266
00:11:02,226 --> 00:11:03,575
I don't really feel like
including you in stuff.
267
00:11:03,619 --> 00:11:05,229
- David, just say you're sorry
268
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:06,970
so we can get your sister
to the airport, okay?
269
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:08,624
- Nevertheless...
- Mhmm.
270
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:11,061
- I might have overreacted
271
00:11:11,105 --> 00:11:13,542
and for that, I am apologetic.
- Wow.
272
00:11:13,585 --> 00:11:14,978
- So, you're sorry.
273
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:18,329
- I knew there was a reason
I came on this trip.
274
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,723
- [Engine choking]
- My God.
275
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:24,596
I am remorseful over an action
I participated in.
276
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,077
- Dammit!
- What is going on?
277
00:11:27,121 --> 00:11:28,731
- Car won't start.
- What?!
278
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,602
Well, I can't be late
for my flight!
279
00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,430
- Okay, well why don't you
go inside
280
00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:33,605
and ask Clive for help then?
281
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,433
- Because my feet
are killing me, David.
282
00:11:35,477 --> 00:11:37,131
- Oh my God!
- Why don't we go inside
283
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,133
and see if there's anything
Clive can do, okay?
284
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,222
- Why do I feel like Clive
doesn't handle stress well?
285
00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,093
- Come on.
286
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:44,747
- This might be a stupid
question,
287
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:48,011
but why are you wearing high
heels on an airplane?
288
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:50,013
- Oh, I'm not wearing them on
the plane,
289
00:11:50,057 --> 00:11:52,015
they hand out slippers
with the mimosas.
290
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:54,148
- When was the last time
you flew economy?
291
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:55,366
- Hmm?
292
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:59,283
[Birds chirp]
293
00:11:59,327 --> 00:12:02,678
- Hard to believe this is our
first trip down to the creek.
294
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,464
You know, Moira,
after the week we've had,
295
00:12:06,508 --> 00:12:08,597
this is the perfect way
to end it.
296
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,382
- To think I nearly made you
a widower.
297
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:13,471
Oh, John, I can just see you
298
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:15,473
aimlessly wandering
through life.
299
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:17,606
Stoic but stymied,
300
00:12:17,649 --> 00:12:20,522
not a friend in the world
and so very lost.
301
00:12:20,565 --> 00:12:22,785
- Well, you're here now, Moira,
302
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:25,179
and so am I.
303
00:12:25,222 --> 00:12:27,137
And, with your career
behind you,
304
00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:30,358
we'll be able to take advantage
of more days like this.
305
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,275
Does this not remind you
of that wellness retreat
306
00:12:34,318 --> 00:12:35,798
we went to in Evian,
307
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,670
right after Alexis ended
things with Sean Penn?
308
00:12:38,714 --> 00:12:41,499
- Yes. You and I wandered down
to the lake,
309
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:44,328
ne'ery a person to be found.
310
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:46,548
Bid adieu to our clothing
311
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:48,550
and let the cool sting
of the mineral water
312
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:50,770
remind us that we were,
in fact,
313
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:52,815
alive and well.
314
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:55,513
- I lost my Patek Philippe
in that lake,
315
00:12:55,557 --> 00:12:58,560
but I wouldn't have had it
any other way.
316
00:13:00,562 --> 00:13:02,390
- We seem to have found
ourselves alone again,
317
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,174
Mr. Rose.
318
00:13:04,218 --> 00:13:06,655
- Moira, that was 15 years ago!
- Mmhm?
319
00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:08,483
- What if someone sees us?
320
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:10,485
- Who knows what will befall us
tomorrow, John?
321
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,835
You could be hit
by a Mack truck,
322
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:15,707
or bopped on the head by
a tiny piece of space debris!
323
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,623
- I don't know, it feels risky.
324
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,756
- Let me just attend
to one thing first.
325
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,758
- Moira, whatever it is can
wait.
326
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,413
- No, no. Before we re-baptize
ourselves
327
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:28,111
I'm going to call my agent
and make it official!
328
00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:30,374
Moira Rose is tech un-avail,
329
00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:32,637
she has a life to live.
330
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:34,770
- I'm proud of you, Sweetheart.
331
00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,556
- You just remove those
vetements, Mr. Rose,
332
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,298
I'll be back in the shake
of a lamb's rump.
333
00:13:41,342 --> 00:13:43,648
As soon as I find a signal.
334
00:13:47,435 --> 00:13:50,873
- Ugh! Ugh! Like...
335
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,483
[Pacing footsteps thud]
336
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:56,096
[Stressed exhale]
337
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:58,446
- What's going on over there?
- I'm trying to check in!
338
00:13:58,489 --> 00:13:59,882
If we're going to be late,
339
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,449
I'm going to at least do
everything I can
340
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,842
to not miss my flight,
341
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,539
because I have never needed
a vacation more.
342
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,062
- Yeah, this?
343
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,456
I think this is what might be
bothering your brother.
344
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:11,111
- Okay, I get it, my life
is an inconvenience.
345
00:14:11,154 --> 00:14:13,113
- That. Um,
346
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:15,419
or the fact that you've been
talking nonstop
347
00:14:15,463 --> 00:14:17,465
about how desperate
you are to get out of here?
348
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,816
- I think it might be hurting
his feelings.
349
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,297
- Okay. I'm moving to a place
that doesn't have a Sephora
350
00:14:23,340 --> 00:14:25,690
for literally 2700 miles,
351
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:27,475
so I'm sorry if I'm trying
to convince myself
352
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:29,433
that I'm doing the right thing.
353
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,306
- I might still be
a bit boozy,
354
00:14:32,349 --> 00:14:34,656
- Yes, I can confirm that.
- but...
355
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,747
I've actually been jealous
of your trip.
356
00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:42,446
Like, you're getting out there,
357
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,405
seeing the world.
358
00:14:44,448 --> 00:14:45,928
And now that Cabaret's over,
359
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:49,410
I feel like I might need
to be doing more of that.
360
00:14:49,453 --> 00:14:51,629
I just wish I had your...
361
00:14:53,501 --> 00:14:55,285
what's going on?
362
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,374
Because I think I might be
in the middle of giving you
363
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:58,767
a compliment for the first
time, so.
364
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,725
- Yes, and I am super touched,
it's just that
365
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,902
I'm having trouble getting
my boarding pass.
366
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,252
Like, do they not let people
in economy check in
367
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:06,601
for the flight?
368
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:08,516
- Can I see your phone?
369
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:14,478
Okay. Um, think I've found
the problem;
370
00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:17,917
your flight's not leaving
for another month.
371
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:20,310
- What?! Give me that!
372
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:23,313
No, it says right here,
0-7-0-8.
373
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:26,534
- Yeah, but it's day before
month,
374
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:29,450
so you're not leaving
on July 8th,
375
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,148
you're leaving on August 7th.
- What?
376
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:35,673
Ugh, and my stupid ticket
doesn't allow for any changes.
377
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,112
Ugh! What am I supposed to do?
378
00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,157
- Well, maybe you could start
by telling David
379
00:15:41,201 --> 00:15:43,638
that you messed up and he can
book the venue after all!
380
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,596
- Okay, I would literally
rather sleep at the airport
381
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:47,859
for a month.
- Yeah.
382
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:49,383
- Can you hear me now?
383
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,124
No, I'm not blocking
the microphone
384
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:52,734
with my finger anymore!
385
00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:55,606
Okay, no I was.
386
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,608
Now... yes?
387
00:15:57,652 --> 00:16:00,002
Oh, well, what would the back
end look like
388
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,438
on a deal like that?
389
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:05,268
Oh, I see, what an emphatically
Kismetic
390
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,269
turn of events.
Oh, John's here now.
391
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:10,012
Okay, talk soon. Kisses!
392
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:13,189
Johnathan, have we found
ourselves a new friend?
393
00:16:13,233 --> 00:16:14,625
- Hmm.
394
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,584
- Hello ma'am,
I'm Officer Cornwall.
395
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,455
I was off duty when I came
across this man
396
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:21,284
in a state of undress,
down by the creek.
397
00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,199
He claims to be your husband?
398
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:25,158
- Last I checked,
399
00:16:25,201 --> 00:16:27,029
a decades-long successful
marriage
400
00:16:27,073 --> 00:16:28,509
is not a criminal offence.
401
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,293
- No, no it is not.
402
00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:32,513
However, indecent exposure
certainly is.
403
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:35,603
I found your husband sunning
himself in the creek,
404
00:16:35,646 --> 00:16:37,822
like he was in some
Grecian bath.
405
00:16:37,866 --> 00:16:40,173
- No, I don't think we need
to editorialize.
406
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,783
- John, I'm so sorry,
407
00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:44,829
I was engrossed in a very
stirring phone call.
408
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,745
Officer, perhaps we could
arrange a plea bargain?
409
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:50,487
- Well, since I wasn't supposed
to be fly fishing
410
00:16:50,531 --> 00:16:52,533
at this end of the creek...
411
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:55,188
I think we can leave it
at a warning.
412
00:16:55,231 --> 00:16:56,624
- Oh, thank you, Officer,
413
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:58,843
for your almost militant
commitment
414
00:16:58,887 --> 00:17:01,281
to the protection
of our community.
415
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:04,197
I promise to keep my husband
habilimented from now on.
416
00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,507
John, you won't believe
what's happened!
417
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:13,423
- What happened was,
you left me alone,
418
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,077
struggling to get out
of a creek!
419
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,774
The algae was so slippery,
420
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,689
the cop had to throw me
his fishing line.
421
00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:21,344
- Well, button back up your
birthday tux, John,
422
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:23,868
because I've just found out
the "Crows" movie
423
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,088
is back in business!
424
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:27,568
- What?
425
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:30,310
- Yes! Apparently it's been
picked up by Interflex,
426
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,138
a brand new streaming service.
427
00:17:32,181 --> 00:17:33,704
Can you believe that?
428
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:36,577
- Moira, you were just saying
what a relief
429
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:38,448
it was to have the ups
and downs of your career
430
00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:40,581
behind you, and--
- I know, right?
431
00:17:40,624 --> 00:17:42,452
How serendipitous is this?
432
00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:44,672
At the precise moment I choose
to walk away,
433
00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:47,849
the industry comes crawling
back to me on all fours.
434
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:50,678
- I just worry about the next
time it's not great news.
435
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:52,723
- A new day has dawned.
436
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:56,423
It took my accepting that
I could quit at any time
437
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:59,252
to realize I musn't, John.
Ever.
438
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:04,213
- If this is what you
really want, then I'm...
439
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:08,087
I'm happy for you.
- Thank you, John.
440
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,220
It appears officer fly fish has
taken his leave,
441
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:12,830
how about that dip?
442
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:15,442
- Oh, I think the moment
has passed.
443
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:19,489
[Door opens]
- Okay, roadside assistance
444
00:18:19,533 --> 00:18:21,578
isn't gonna be here
for the next hour,
445
00:18:21,622 --> 00:18:23,276
so we're going to call you
a cab.
446
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,278
- And Clive didn't have jumper
cables because he doesn't drive
447
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:27,236
because he's scared
of car horns.
448
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,890
- Okay, um, David?
449
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,240
I also have something that
I would like to say to you
450
00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:32,763
as well.
451
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:36,115
- Okay?
452
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:39,292
- I am sorry also,
453
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,468
for rubbing my trip
in your face.
454
00:18:42,425 --> 00:18:44,427
The truth is,
455
00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,125
is that I'm really
gonna miss you.
456
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,693
- Thank you.
457
00:18:49,737 --> 00:18:52,131
I'm going to miss you, as well.
458
00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,656
And I just feel so bad
about standing in the way
459
00:18:55,699 --> 00:18:58,267
of your dream wedding.
- Oh...
460
00:18:58,311 --> 00:18:59,921
- But maybe I should just, like,
461
00:18:59,964 --> 00:19:02,576
push my trip back by a month.
- Wow.
462
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:03,881
- Okay.
463
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:06,188
I am not having you push your
trip back.
464
00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,582
- No, I insist.
465
00:19:12,542 --> 00:19:14,283
- What's going on?
466
00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,546
- Nothing, David,
just accept your wedding gift.
467
00:19:16,590 --> 00:19:18,461
- Patrick, call a cab, please.
- 'Kay.
468
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,550
- Okay, no, don't call a cab!
Ugh.
469
00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,639
My flight got delayed.
- Delayed by a month?
470
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,250
- This is like watching
a car crash.
471
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:25,860
- Ugh.
472
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,557
- You mixed up the day and the
month on your ticket again,
473
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:29,080
didn't you?
- No! I... no.
474
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,647
- Like that time you showed up
to Kate Winslet's wedding
475
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:31,822
a month late.
476
00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,650
- The calligraphy
was hard to read
477
00:19:33,694 --> 00:19:35,522
and Billy Zane also did
the same thing, David.
478
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:38,699
- Unbelievable.
- Okay, well the upside
479
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:41,310
is that you guys can now
take the place,
480
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:43,443
so actually, you're welcome.
481
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,445
- She's right, David.
482
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:47,534
We could go back
and talk to Clive.
483
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,712
- Do we go back
and talk to Clive?!
484
00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:53,844
[Loud blood-curdling squealing]
- Ew.
485
00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:55,803
- Oh my God.
- What is that?
486
00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:58,240
It's like a thousand
babies teething.
487
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,024
- Didn't he say there was
a farm up the road?
488
00:20:00,068 --> 00:20:01,069
- Uh, that is correct.
489
00:20:02,679 --> 00:20:04,681
They process their pork on the
first Sunday of every month,
490
00:20:04,725 --> 00:20:06,683
hence our discounted rates.
491
00:20:06,727 --> 00:20:08,859
Did I hear that the wedding
was back on?
492
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,557
- Hey. This is not a winner,
Clive.
493
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:12,211
- Okay. I can't stop
hearing it!
494
00:20:16,389 --> 00:20:18,434
- It sounded like a thousand
guinea pigs
495
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,523
were being shoved into
a wood chipper.
496
00:20:20,567 --> 00:20:22,308
- Pork chops?
- Oh, no thank you.
497
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,700
- I'll have my later, thanks.
498
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:25,354
- Well, it sounds to me
like you two
499
00:20:25,398 --> 00:20:27,574
dodged a bacon-wrapped bullet.
I'll say it again:
500
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:30,838
life is but a strand
of happy accidents.
501
00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:32,492
- You've never said that before.
502
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:34,711
- It's such great news
about the film, Mrs. Rose.
503
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,322
Interflex is huge.
504
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,367
- Oh, wait 'til our movie drops.
505
00:20:39,107 --> 00:20:41,588
- So, I just talked to Ted.
506
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:43,459
He's devastated, obviously,
507
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,287
but he did say that it's
probably for the best
508
00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,507
because he still hasn't
lizard-proofed his place
509
00:20:47,550 --> 00:20:50,336
and I have absolutely no desire
to be there until that happens.
510
00:20:50,379 --> 00:20:52,294
- You see? Further proof
that life is but a--
511
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,340
- Okay. We get it.
- strand.
512
00:20:54,383 --> 00:20:56,080
- Well, I, for one,
am happy to have you
513
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,387
for another month, Alexis.
- Thank you.
514
00:20:58,431 --> 00:21:00,911
- Hey, what if we got married
here?
515
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:02,913
- What if we got married
under a highway overpass?
516
00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:04,480
- I'm serious.
517
00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,526
This place means something
to you guys.
518
00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,354
Put a tent in the back,
string up some lights.
519
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:09,703
You could make it beautiful.
520
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:14,403
- I'll think about it.
- Okay.
521
00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:16,100
- Oh, in other news:
522
00:21:16,144 --> 00:21:18,973
your father was arrested
for indecent exposure.
523
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:21,497
- Ew, I'm eating!
- Moira.
524
00:21:21,541 --> 00:21:23,673
Okay. There's no backing out
now! [Chuckles]
39219
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