Original subtitles

Coming...

Hi.

Oh. Uh...

I didn't--

I should have called you.

N-no. It's all right.

I had another appointment in the neighborhood.

Um, listen, I have your complaint right here,

and I'd like to file it with the court as soon as possible,

and then we need to get started on that proof of paternity, so--

yeah. Listen, um... Good news.

Daphne came back. She came home.

-Really? -Yeah.

Yesterday. And, um...

We're doin' it right.

You know, lamaze class, checkups, the works, so, um...

Right. I'll, um...

I'll just hang onto it for a while.

Uh, one more thing.

Tell me that's not your bill.

No, no.

We do a routine investigation of the other party

in conjunction with any custody case.

This belongs to you.

Right.

There's...

There's some pretty interesting stuff in there.

Good luck, Charlie.

Who was that?

No one.

It was nothing. Not important.

[Theme song playing]

♪ Everybody wants to live ♪

♪ like they wanna live ♪

♪ and everybody wants to love ♪

♪ like they wanna love ♪

♪ and everybody wants to be ♪

♪ closer to free ♪

♪ closer to free ♪

[Indistinct chatter]

So you're a fellow junkie, huh?

What?

Ha.

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

You caught me. The grosser, the better.

Hey, you see the third one?

Twice.

I still can't figure out who did it.

Yeah. It's kind of inexplicable,

but who cares? Not the point.

A sophisticated point of view.

-Thank you. -[Chuckles]

Where's Maggie?

Are you kidding?

She thinks these movies are-- I wanna get this right--

an exploitation of women...

A celebration of violence,

and the ultimate proof that at our lowest common denominator,

nothing gets our juices flowing like pain and cruelty.

Well, if she's gonna be that way about it...

Hey.

You mind? I gotta set this stuff down.

Oh. Sorry.

This a date?

Mm-hmm.

Cool. I'll get out of your way.

Uh, she scares kind of easy.

You might want to hold on tight.

Jerk.

I wanna kill him, the way he treated you.

What?

Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Okay, so that's everything, isn't it?

Well, we kinda covered algebra, biology--

Mr. alston-Jones was sick,

so no english lit.

And French, by mutual agreement, is every girl for herself.

Homework's done.

Homework's done.

All right.

This is too easy, this study group thing.

Salinger, you're a whiz.

Well, what can I say?

Except, what are we going to do tonight?

Thursday night...

Well, some club in town's got to have some music

or something, don't they?

Oh, right. A lot of hot bands really start cookin'

before our nine o'clock curfew.

We could sneak.

No. No, we couldn't.

Really? You think six teenage girls

marching through the main gate,

you think someone would notice?

Unless you snuck between bunker hall

and the keyser athletic building,

which sort of lets you out at the bus stop on dilby street.

So if you went through the window in the bathroom,

you'd only have a one-story drop to the roof of the common room,

and then you could cross behind the quad,

which has, like, no lights to speak of.

Or not.

Don't I have a say in this?

Sweetheart, it's part of the settlement.

We don't have a choice.

Neither your father or I

can afford to buy each other out,

and the truth is,

neither one of us needs a place this big anyway.

Honey, we have to be practical.

Right. Practical.

All you need to tell us

is what you want us to do with your stuff.

Do you want your father and I to divide it between us,

or if you like,

i can move it all exactly as it is here

to wherever I go.

That's not the same.

It's just glorified storage.

Sarah, honey...

What do you want me to do?

[Sighs] Well...

I was kind of going for a sleek, contemporary vibe in here,

but if you were thinking more along the lines of romper room...

Oh... I couldn't just stick it in the guest room

in my mom's new apartment or my dad's new place

and then pretend I grew up there.

It's like, wherever they end up, it's not gonna be my home, right?

Hey...

Hey, it's okay.

There's plenty of room for everything here.

You know what?

I really see this working in the bathroom.

It's never going to be like it was, is it?

No.

It's like dominoes.

Parents split,

apartment gets sold, family disappears.

Click, click, click.

I just keep thinking about my mom.

Yeah.

It's gonna be a big change for her.

How old was she when she married your dad?

No. My mom. My real mom. My birth mother.

Robin?

Yeah.

Yeah. You know, when I met her a couple years ago,

she was just this person,

this really cool person who was kind of living her own life

and walking around with the same DNA as me.

But I didn't need her to be more than that,

'cause, you know, I had a family.

But now...

Come on, now. Everyone's got to share here.

Derek.

The thing I didn't expect, huh?

Okay. Honestly, I didn't expect

to find Cheryl so sexy in her third trimester.

Well, it's true.

We are kinda having sex all the time.

I didn't expect that.

I see Jill and Henry nodding back there.

Anyone else?

[Sobbing]

I didn't expect to love the baby so much.

I mean, he's not even here yet,

but I can't even explain it in words.

I just love him so much.

It's overwhelming, isn't it?

Ladies, don't let anyone tell you that's just hormones talking.

There's a very real bond developing between you and your child.

He feels your laughter, he knows your movements...

Okay, who does that leave?

Let's-- Daphne, Charlie, what would you say

has been the biggest surprise?

[Both] Uh...

Well, i-- let's see. Um...

I guess I'd have to say...

The gas.

Yeah. Yeah, I'd have to go with the gas.

Tell you what-- next time I pick the movie, you pick the restaurant.

What, you didn't like the movie?

No. I loved it.

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun

watching teenagers get bludgeoned.

You just shouldn't order pasta with red sauce

after seeing all those blood and guts, you wimp.

Hey, at least one of us had a human reaction.

I mean, you didn't even flinch.

Well, come on, it's just ketchup and sugar syrup.

None of that's real.

Wait. So that scene with the hacksaw,

the girl wearing her intestines as a muffler?

Hate to break it to you, pal.

Not even the kiss in the cemetery.

Now, that was real.

You can't fake a kiss like that.

I mean, not with the camera that close.

I mean, I saw tongues. I saw tonsils.

You just think you did.

It was probably just a lot of...

Like that.

Can I see that again, please?

Right. And you think it's real, because you kind of--

you kind of what?

You know... Project yourself

into the moment.

Is that what I was doing?

Mm-hmm.

You're just gonna shatter

every single illusion for me, aren't you?

It's okay. I mean,

I'm gonna have to grow up sooner or later.

You know what? It's a long drive back to campus,

and I have an early class.

Right.

[Giggling]

Shh! Shh!

He wasn't even that cute.

What can I say. Bass players...

Good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Shh.

Hey, you guys, does tomato juice stain?

Hello? Who orders a bloody Mary?

It's so, like, brunch.

Wait.

Did you hear something?

Oh, my god--

oh, Ms. shachter.

What's going on here, girls?

-Uh... -We, uh...

Hallie's in bad, bad shape.

Yeah. I'm in really bad shape.

I-I've got, um...

She's got a...

A nosebleed.

Oh, I think it's starting again.

It's really bad.

I almost fainted.

She almost fainted.

We were just about to take her to the infirmary.

Wearing all that eye makeup?

We heard David calvert came down with mono.

Oh... just go.

[Laughing]

So how are childbirth classes going?

Fine. They're going fine.

And you folks are beginning to give some thought

to a birthing plan, right?

All I know is that I want drugs.

I want lots and lots of drugs.

Unless-- that's okay, right?

I mean, can they have any adverse effects on the baby?

Oh, you don't want me to have an epidural?

Fine. Then you have the baby.

Uh-huh...

The moment of truth.

Want to know what color to paint the nursery?

You mean...

I've got a clear shot up the middle.

Would you like to know what you're having?

-Yes. -No.

-Yes. -No.

You don't want to know?

No!

I mean, it's not like we're not gonna

find out eventually anyway.

I just don't want to know right now.

What do you do if one of us wants to know

and the other one doesn't?

Daphne, would you like to get dressed

while Charlie and I step outside for a second?

Whatever.

I don't want to know, okay?

I mean it.

Nothing.

Nothing. He said he moved into the apartment two months ago,

and he knows nothing of a previous tenant.

What about the landlord?

Some new management company. They don't know her.

There was no forwarding address,

no recorded message on her old number.

I don't know where else to look.

It seems kind of weird.

I mean, I don't mean to--

weren't you guys close?

Sort of.

Not really, but I mean, meeting her

for the first time was a big deal.

It was like, hey,

this is the woman that I've been dreaming of all these years, you know,

and she's cool. She's an actress.

Pretty much looks like me...

I mean, we wrote a lot, but it's not like we shared all that much,

so after a while, it was just sort of,

"hey, guess what I did this month? I started college."

Or you know, "guess what I did?

I'm gonna be in a new play."

I got busy, she was on tour...

I know it's stupid.

I pretty much take everything for granted, don't I?

Sarah...

No. Just say it. I deserve it. Say it.

Why don't you contact her theater company?

Maybe they know where she is.

You know, you didn't have to do this.

No... I know. I know.

It's just, they're forwarding all my mail to school,

and some of it's yours, so I thought

if I forward it again, you know, it might never get here.

Anyways, what's with all the boxes?

You moving out or something?

Oh, I was gonna-

I'm not really getting that many hours at the shop,

and the rent's kind of tough...

Anyway, Charlie said that--

this is only if you're okay with this.

But he said that it'd be okay

if I sort of crashed in the shed for a little while

until things ease up.

Sure.

Sure. Why not?

Hey, that way I can see him, I can see you,

and take one trip, right?

Right.

Well, so how's school?

How's that great writing professor?

It's really good.

He thinks I'm talented.

Well, duh.

So you seeing anyone?

Oh...

I don't know. It's hard.

I guess I have really high standards.

Not that there's any rush or anything.

I mean, if it doesn't feel right, what's the point?

Right? It's not like I have to have

a boyfriend at all times.

Don't you find it really hard?

Uh...

I'm, uh, I'm seeing somebody, actually.

Oh.

Just somebody at the shop set us up, so...

Oh... uh-huh.

Well, that's...

Wow. That's nice, eh?

You having fun? You like her?

She's okay.

I'm just getting used to it.

Right.

You should try it.

'Cause it gets easier.

Paul, take the spot up to the balcony

then mount the cloud go-bos and the big likos...

His assistant said that he'd be breaking in a few minutes.

Quit thinking about your golf game

and lower that third...

Did you see the picture of her in the lobby,

the one from fool for love

back when she had long hair?

You could definitely see a resemblance.

Who was it who wanted a word with me?

Oh, um... hi.

Um, my name's Sarah Reeves.

How do you do?

I was just wondering if I could have a moment of your time.

I'm looking for a woman by the name of Robin merrin...

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, my god.

I know.

Oh, my god. Really? For sure?

Well, it's 95% for sure, so...

Aah!

Oh, that's so-- just, oh...

That is so... I mean,

Charlie, you're gonna have--

shh.

Shh?

Daphne.

Daphne...

She doesn't know.

What? How could she not know?

I mean, wasn't she there?

She didn't want to know.

Oh.

Oh! So she wants to be surprised.

You know what?

My sister was exactly the same way.

She wanted to wait for that drum-roll moment

in the delivery room,

which drove my mom crazy, of course.

Kirsten, it's not like that for Daphne.

Trust me, if Daphne knows what she's having,

it's harder to act like it's just a basketball she's been carrying around.

'Cause... I mean, when you know,

it's weird.

You connect in a whole new way.

I mean, suddenly the baby isn't this abstract thing.

It's a little person...

With a-- a sex and a face and a...

A life.

It's little league games and easy-bake ovens and...

It's real...

And it's happening...

And it's happening to her.

As long as she can pretend like it isn't,

it's fine with her.

She was doing a play

that a friend of hers wrote for a summer festival or something.

I think the guy said it was in Wyoming.

She took a little plane...

And there was a storm...

Anyway, um, I guess she didn't have a will, you know,

or they would have called me...

Unless I wasn't in the will.

Hey.

Look... at least you got to meet her.

Right?

I mean, if you had waited just a few years longer,

then you wouldn't--

at least you got the chance.

Yeah. I know that.

I know that. I don't--

i don't even know why I'm crying, you know?

It's not like I even knew her that well.

But she was my mother.

That's so weird. She was my mother.

And I feel really sad for her that she died.

And I feel sad for me because I feel alone,

and I am so angry at myself

for never knowing what I have.

Yeah. Well...

Nobody ever does.

It's like she had me, and she let me go.

And then I had her, and I let her go.

Trouble. You gotta move back.

I am now very late for school.

Nuh-uh. You cheated.

No, I did not.

Kirsten, sorry about this.

I'm really-- I'm not feeling very well.

It's not a problem.

Move it back.

If he had school, we'd be fine,

but they have these teacher conferences.

Don't worry about it.

Maybe you ate something.

I don't think so.

I'm having lots of little contractions.

Braxton-Hicks or something.

Well, maybe you should see the doctor.

Don't move that one. Move that one.

I don't need to see the doctor. I'm pregnant.

I'm not supposed to feel well.

I don't want to move that one.

[Both] Do whatever you want.

I just need to relax.

Okay...

I'll be home by 3:30.

It's amazing what moms go through, huh?

Heh. No kidding.

Well, I guess the good news is,

one day she'll take care of both of you.

What?

She'll take care of--

trouble!

Kirsten, look. Trouble.

Oh...

Oh, god...

The guy at the theater gave me their address.

I'm gonna go see 'em.

Uh-huh.

Why?

Why are you gonna do that?

What an idiotic question.

They're my grandparents, you know?

They know something about my mom and what happened to her.

They may even know something about my father.

Sarah...

Your mom wouldn't even tell you about your father.

What makes you think she'd tell them?

I think you should just leave it alone.

Are you kidding me?

No. No, I'm not.

Why do you want to make me feel stupid for wanting this?

Sarah, you don't want to just meet these people.

You want them... To love you.

You want them to open their arms to you and-- and...

I don't know, tell you that you belong or something,

but they never looked for you,

and they're not looking for you now,

even after their daughter died.

Right?

I would never do this to you.

Never.

When you were dealing with your grandfather,

god, Bailey, I was always...

You know what? Maybe it's because you have nobody,

and I have the possibility of somebody.

-Sarah-- -no. That's fine.

It's fine.

From now on, I will do it without you.

You've made yourself really clear.

Hey. One sec.

Oh, Elinor just found out that Edward is going to marry Lucy.

Sense and sensibility.

Oh. I thought we were just going to watch

the Emma Thompson movie before the test.

Yeah, but it turns out the book is-- is pretty good.

Yeah, yeah. Well, guess what?

Hallie heard there's this Leo look-alike contest

at the galleria in town.

Is that like the tackiest thing

you've ever heard of or what?

Totally.

So we thought we'd go laugh our asses off,

get something to eat, maybe catch a flick.

I don't know. I don't think so.

Why not?

I mean, yeah, it's goofy,

but it'll be a blast.

I just kinda want to find out what happens next.

Look, Hallie already rented the movie.

You can just fast-forward through it.

That's the thing, Parker...

I don't want to fast-forward through it.

Fine.

Whatever.

Robin?

No. Robin isn't here.

No. I know.

If you're from one of those organizations she was part of--

Mr. merrin,

I know that Robin died.

That's why I'm here.

I'm her daughter.

No, no, no.

She gave her baby up. She walked away.

Yeah, well,

we kind of found each other, she and I, about two years ago.

I don't believe you.

Mr. merrin,

how else would I know that she had a child?

No, no, no, no. This is, uh, this is, uh...

I don't want any part of this.

I didn't approve of any of it,

and I, uh... I want you to leave.

No. Can you just give me a chance?

Please?

Didn't she tell you about me? Think about it.

My name's Sarah. Sarah Reeves.

No. I don't know anything about you.

Really?

She didn't ever talk to you about finding her daughter?

We didn't talk, period.

Okay, then you know what? Maybe your wife.

No. She's been dead for three years.

Please, leave me alone.

Mr. merrin, I am your grandchild.

I don't know you.

Who are you?

I don't know if your story is true or not, but--

I'm 73 years old.

I-- I don't want any of this.

Could you just at least talk to me about her,

you know, what happened to her,

what it was like when she had me?

I don't even know who my father is.

Yeah, well...

I can't. No.

That's it?

That's it? Come on. You can't just...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just, you are the only person...

Could you...

I don't have anything of my mom's.

Can you just give me something of hers to keep?

It could be something very small.

I kinda like it, actually.

I got 'em making curio shelves this week.

Although, god knows

what a bunch of tenth graders need with curio shelves.

A place to store their pot.

Heh-heh... Exactly.

I plan on shaking up the lesson plan.

Next week, we're gonna build a condominium.

Kinda deja vu, huh?

You packing up your things to make room in here.

Well, deja vu minus Julia, I guess.

Yeah. Listen, um... About that-- Julia--

you know, she said she was okay with this.

I know. I was just thinking

it might be a little weird if she ran into you

when you had, you know, company over.

Uh... it's not gonna happen, Charlie.

Well, it could, and I just wanna make everything

as easy as possible on Julia,

so maybe if you and I had an understanding up front...

I'm not gonna have girls over here, okay, Charlie?

Okay. That's all I'm asking.

I can't even think of any other girls right now, you know?

It's, like, even buying a cup of coffee for a girl

is, like... so far down the line.

Uh, look, all I'm saying is

there's no danger of that happening, all right?

None at all.

They're beautiful.

Really.

I don't remember the last time someone bought me flowers.

In fact, I don't think anyone ever has,

which is weird, huh?

I mean, 18, no limp, no disfiguring scars, no hump.

You'd think once, at least, someone would stop at a flower stand.

It's not like they don't have one on every freaking corner.

I don't have a vase, okay?

Hey.

Hey.

Mmm...

Okay...

What is my problem?

I'm sorry, Josh. I'm sorry.

It's just, uh--

me. It's obviously me.

It's something I'm doing, or-- or not doing,

or it's my overbite, or my deodorant.

Whatever it is, it's okay.

I mean, sometimes, these things are just chemical.

Josh, it is so not you.

It's not?

It's him.

Him. Him?

He met someone else.

Well, it--

I mean, we've been together all this time,

and he just moved on.

It's like, in light of everything, in light of our history,

I should've been allowed to move on first.

Doesn't that make sense, as, like, a professional courtesy?

Yeah, but... Why are you upset about this now?

I mean, you've known for a while.

What are you talking about?

Julia, I told you, he's sleeping with your roommate.

Oh.

Oh.

Listen, he isn't sleeping with my roommate.

I mean, he is-- ned is-- but he isn't ned.

I mean, ned isn't him. I made all that up.

God, I'm a mess.

Josh, I'm a total mess, and I'm a liar, and if you knew,

you wouldn't want to kiss me.

You wouldn't want to be involved with me. Trust me on this.

You're not a man, are you?

What?

It's just I'm sensing a revelation coming down the pike here,

and I kinda wanna cut to the chase.

I am not a man.

Sit down. It's worse.

Look, I don't know what you want me to say.

I didn't want you to say anything. That was the point.

If I wanted to know, I would've found out in the doctor's office.

I certainly didn't need your ex-girlfriend blabbing it.

Kirsten feels awful. She feels terrible.

You-- you gotta rinse those.

You just had to go and tell her, didn't you?

Yeah, I did. I had to tell someone.

I'm having a little girl, and I wanted to tell someone

who was gonna respond like it was good news.

Look, I know you didn't want to know,

but now you do, so let's deal with it.

Let's talk about it. Let's talk about her.

I was thinking... Maybe we could name her Diana.

As in Princess?

As in my mother.

Oh... wow.

Well, that's gonna kinda be a problem for me, Charlie,

because my next door neighbor growing up,

her name was Diana-- Diana de Dario--

and we'd call her "the Italian sub."

And every time I hear the name Diana,

i think of this extremely fat girl who shaved my dog

because I wouldn't give her my twinkie.

Well, gee, Daphne, maybe you could get over that.

Well, gee, Charlie, maybe you could pick another name.

Because of some next door neighbor you had 20 years ago?

You don't think that's a little ridiculous?

What? I don't want my kid named after some bully.

Daphne, it's my mother's name.

My mother... Who I loved, who died,

and who this child is never gonna get to see or know.

I want her to have something of her grandmother's,

and you can't just veto this on the grounds that--

what, I don't get a vote?

Only if it really matters to you.

Because you know what? It really matters to me, a lot.

Now, I think the person who cares the most should win.

It's-- fine. It's your call.

That's...

Wow.

I know.

So-- so, let's see, what does that--

that means, uh... Barbie dolls... And my little pony,

and ballet lessons and "why can't I get my ears pierced

when everyone else in nursery school has their ears pierced?"

Whole ball of wax.

You are in serious trouble, man.

Why? How do you figure?

Well, there's gonna come a day

when she walks through the door

four hours after her curfew, and she's got a hickey

on her neck the size of a baseball,

and she declares her undying love

for a guy who's got a tattoo on his bicep

that reads "born dead."

A guy named "meat,"

and that's not even his nickname.

Man, I should just start saving for your bail right now.

Probably.

They say little girls really love their fathers.

Or do you think that's just something people say?

No. That sounds right to me.

I'm gonna name her Diana.

After mom.

Wow.

That's...

That's just... I'm sorry.

No, that's okay.

I've been kinda welling up about it, too.

There'll be another Diana salinger in the world.

Yeah.

Hey. I'm sorry I'm late.

Charlie showed up at the restaurant,

and there was horrible traffic.

You were right.

Okay? You were right.

I'm sorry?

You were right, and I was wrong. Just say it.

Say it and get it over with

because you obviously understand human nature, and I do not.

You went to see your grandparents.

I went to see a 70-something- year-old man

who's pretty much out of it since his daughter died,

and didn't take too well to a strange teenager

showing up and announcing that she's his long-lost family.

He... he didn't tell you anything?

Nothing.

I got nothing from him.

Nothing about her, nothing about my father,

not a picture or a scarf or even a pair of shoes to remember her by.

I'm sorry.

I don't have anything of hers to hold onto.

She left me without anything.

That's not true.

Hey, what's up?

Algebra.

Yeah, algebra hell.

Sounds ugly.

You guys planning on working straight through?

I mean, do you have any plans for tonight?

Yeah, but we wouldn't want

to burden you or anything.

Right.

Listen, I kind of wanna talk to you about what happened.

Forget it.

You're smart.

You want the grades. No biggie.

Give me a break.

It's just that sneaking out at night

is not, like, some big thrill for me.

Uh-huh.

Look, all I'm saying is, for you guys, it's, like,

"oh, my god. I'm away from my parents. I'm free.

I'm free to just go wherever I want, do whatever I want,

and break all the rules that I can break." I mean, right?

Well, I didn't have any rules, okay?

And for the last four years, I could stay out as late as I wanted,

and no one asked me where I was going,

and no one asked me where I was when I came back.

I don't really have anything to rebel against.

I didn't come here to escape from anyone

or cut the strings with my parents.

Right.

I-- I can see that.

I'm just saying I came here 'cause this is a good school,

and I don't have to study if there's something else great to do...

But just to sneak out...

It's kinda like... Been there. Done that.

Thought you might be a little thirsty.

No. Maybe later. Thanks.

We have, uh... Lamaze class tonight at 6:00--

I know that.

No. I was just saying--

i mean, I was just thinking that maybe after,

we could, uh, go out to dinner.

There's this new Greek place on geary I heard about.

It's supposed to be pretty good.

One of those plate-smashing restaurants?

Sounds perfect for us.

Daphne...

I'm sorry. Look, you're obviously trying to be nice.

Hey, I am nice.

Well, I am nice, too.

I am not a bad person, Charlie.

I know you think I am-

no, I don't. I don't.

I think that you're having a hard time with all this stuff,

and you know what? Same here. Me, too.

But, Daphne, this baby's coming...

No matter what is going on between the two of us,

she's on her way.

I know that.

And the way I see it, you and me,

we have nine weeks to get our act together,

to find a way to be okay together, and...

I'm not sure exactly how to do that or how to get there, but...

Maybe it starts with a little souvlaki.

Oh, I hate souvlaki.

Do you think maybe they have those grape-leaf thingies?

And... sign there.

About how long should it take to become official?

Couple of weeks... And a check.

Right.

So, uh... all-new stationary, huh?

Yeah, I suppose so.

Let me get you a receipt.

Hey... I don't believe we've met.

I'm Bailey salinger.

Sarah Reeves... Merrin.

It's nice to meet you.

Hey.

Hey.

Chocolate chocolate chip.

It kinda melted. I had to stuff it under my shirt

going over the east wall.

There's hot fudge sauce, too,

but it may have, like, congealed.

Thanks.

I think.

Hey, you tell her about that cute b.U. Guy we met on the "t"?

I didn't wanna, like, interrupt your reading or anything.

It's okay. I'm just, like, drooling over chapter 18.

You're kidding. It gets kinda sexy?

No. I meant, literally... drooling.

-Oh, that's gross. -Eww.

So, you guys met a college guy?

Yeah, but our first mistake

was saying we were college students.

Lisa's all, "we're, like, freshmen at Harvard."

Yeah, and he was, like,

"no kidding. So's my sister.

Where do you guys live in the yard?"

-Uh-oh. -Yeah!

[Ned] It's completely understandable.

[Julia] No, it isn't. I'm a nut case.

So you overreacted a little.

A little?

You wouldn't say that if you'd been there.

God, poor Josh.

Poor, miserable, in-way-over-his-head, and doesn't-know-what-hit-him Josh.

Julia...

Don't try and make me feel better.

Just go back to whatever you were doing in your research or... whatever.

Political structure of the early ottoman empire.

Mm. I'm so sorry you had to run into the lunatic girl

who's hiding down in the stacks because she utterly incapable

of ordinary human interaction.

You know what your problem is?

Yes. I'm a lunatic girl who's utterly incapable

of ordinary human interaction.

You've got that first-hump problem.

Hump? I have a hump now?

Obstacle.

You've got this really old failed relationship,

like, since high school,

and it's over, and you know it's over,

but still, you're kind of afraid of anything

that acknowledges the overness of it.

"The overness of it."

I'm lost.

It's the first big step

that's screwing you up here.

Like, the first kiss.

Mm-hmm.

You just gotta do it.

You gotta kiss someone other than that Griffin.

All right. So, I kiss Josh, and everything's fine?

No. I don't think so. I think I'd feel worse.

No, no. 'Cause it's, like...

"Wow. Lightning didn't strike me dead.

The world isn't over.

I haven't done a terrible thing,

and there's life after Griffin,

and there's someone else out there for me."

I don't think so.

You gotta try.

I can't.

Sure, you can.

Oh, my god.

Now it all gets easier.

Vary the pattern, Bob.

First four fingers, then one finger, then three fingers.

Keep her guessing. Keep her focused right on you.

Okay? Good work. Good.

Remember, short breaths of air.

Hee! Hee! Hee! Hooo...

Hee! Hee! Hee! Hooo...

Hey, fellas, let's not forget,

a little encouragement goes a long way.

-Hee! Hooo... -There you go, laurine.

Hee-- huh?

And... 20 more seconds.

Ow.

Not to be a stickler here, daph, but it's "hee! Hee--"

ca-an't.

Sure, you can.

No. Ha-ving-a- con-trac-tion.

Okay, get ready...

What? You're what?

-Here comes another one. -Are you sure?

Get somebody... Fa-ast...

Over here!

Good job, but, honey,

when the real thing happens,

try not to clench quite so much.

No, you don't... Won't... stop...

This is the real thing.

She's having contractions.

-Make it stop. -Look, do something.

Uh, but... this isn't supposed to happen--

do something!

Call an ambulance.

Charlie...

Daphne, look at me, look at me.

You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be all right.

Daphne, look at me, look at me.

You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be all right.