All language subtitles for Kroll.Show.S03E09.WEBRip.x264-ION10

- 'scuse us.

- We're closing up now.

- What?

- Pardon me?

- Brunch service ends at 3:00.

- Do you have any idea
who I am?

- Wendy shawn.

- Aspen bruckenheimer.

- Your names are
not on this list.

In fact, all the names
are crossed out,

'cause brunch is over.

- I just want you to understand

That I could buy and sell you

Like the movie taken
with "lerm nerson."

- Do you want to be
a white slave?

'cause it's a lot of sex.

How about we just go
get a duffel bag full of carsh

And buy this [bleep] place?

[hip-hop music]

- ♪ big money, big dough ♪

- So we're calling
the restaurant dunch.

We were gonna call it l'unch.

- Like, "l" apostrophe "unch,"
like, late brunch.

- Look, I don't care what you
call the restaurant, all right,

As long as I control the food.
- I love how shiny you are.

- I have a spinach puree

That I serve with a red wine
that's a cabernet

That gives you the feeling

That you're on
a whitewater rafting trip

With all your
high school friends

And you had this feeling like,

"man, I should do more stuff
with these guys,

'cause they're close to me."

- We'd like this restaurant

To be sort of, like,
farm-to-table

So that we can get, like,
someone farmist,

Like joaquin "pharnix,"

And he sits
at one of our tables.

- My kitchen, my rules.

- Darrel.
- You're hard.

- Who's darrel?
I thought--

Am I hired, or is--

- So what was your vision...
In hare?

- Obviously, the signature piece
to our dining experience

Is the fiberglass table

With the teen runaway
just living her life.

- Ew.
- She's well-fed.

- All of our waitresses
are bi-racial.

- A lot of them are half-jewish

Because I'm transitioning
to judaism.

- So the theme is not "no food"?

- No, no, that's--
- that's not the play at all.

- There should be food.
Hold on a second.

[claps twice]

- I just didn't know if you guys
were doing so sort of, like,

Shia-slash-franco-
slash-nnamdi thing

Where people come
expecting food,

But instead they get
inconvenienced.

- Hold on, childhood friend
terrence, don't leave.

- Look what's happening;
I'm walking out.

- Childhood friend terrence,
just wait.

Just let me talk to the charf.

Let me talk to the charf.

Aspen, all the tastemakers
are leaving!

- Hey, teen runaway,

Use your connections
in the freight community

To find out where our ferd is.

- You're trash;
you're garbage.

You're white trash.

What are you gonna do,
just go eat dinner?

Nothing's open
except for dunch.

- There's a certain kind
of truffle

That only grows
under the 101 overpass

After it's rained.

Yesterday it rained,

So today I had
to track down a pig

To help me track down
the truffles.

- Dunch is getting dumped
in the dirt.

- Uh, calm down.

- Our childhood friend
terrence left.

He's not impressed at all,

And everyone is leaving,

All because mr. Bobby flay
over here

Decided to go out for a walk
looking for mushrooms.

- Oh, there's no way
you're grillin' and chillin'

As cool as my man bobby flay.

- Well, I take that
as a compliment.

- Okay, rachael ray.
- [laughs]

- Rachael ray?

Oh, I'm rachael ray now, huh?

I'm rachael ray?

I'm rachael ray?

[screaming]

[dubstep music]

♪ ♪

- Look, ma, no hands.

- We have a common friend,
david chang, well-known chef.

- Sure, yeah.

Chang is really as ridiculous

As this guy
I'm playing in the show.

- Really?

- 'cause he has, like,
a momofuku lab, or whatever,

And I'll be like, "oh, what are
you working on in the lab?"

And he'll--I'm not lying--

He'll be like, "oh, we're
rotting this piece of beef

"for, like, three years

And using the mold
to make kimchi," or whatever.

It's really something
that ridiculous.

- Shout-out to david chang,

Although aziz is questioning
your cooking choices.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

[woman moaning]

[metal clanking]

[woman moaning]

- Attorney-client privilege.

Where do you draw the line?

I'll tell you who not to ask...

Ruth diamond phillips.

- You might remember me
from the dr. Armond case.

It was one that I was
immediately drawn to--

Murder, intrigue, romance.

And then it all went to hell.

- Objection;
is she wearing evidence?

- You're free to go.

- But I picked myself up,

And I started my own firm,

Diamond phillips and associates.

- New client coming in at 1:00.

- Well, why don't we ask him

To meet me at the restaurant?

[mellow music plays]

[slurping]

- Oh, hey.

Ah, pardon me.

[crashing, clattering]

Right.

- The first thing that I noticed
about mr. Jeff

Was his plump tush.

- Ms. Diamond phillips?

When I met ruth,

This woman was friendly.

She was kind.

Big head of hair like a fern.

She seemed like she could be
more than a lawyer.

For a long time,
I was a referee.

[blows whistle]
- oh!

- Then I became a tsa agent...
- Mm-hmm.

- You know, protecting
the friendly skies.

- Wow.

- So I'm chatting
with this one guy.

So he says, "for a friend...
- Yeah.

- "would you mind
looking the other way

While I send some personal items
through the x-ray machines?"

- Sure.
- Turns out that

"personal items"
was 12 pounds of cocaine.

- Darn it, jeff!

- The charges against me
were very severe.

I guess they caught me sending
a bag filled with cocaine

Through, you know,
the x-ray machine.

I didn't know.

So I was looking
to lock down some legal help

So I wouldn't get locked up
myself.

One of those police dogs
could smell from the food court.

- Oh.

- That's how smelly
this cocaine was.

But I don't got
a nose like a dog.

- Treat me like a dog.

But, uh,
things might get dirty.

I might get dirty.
[chuckles]

- Well, cheers to this, huh?

- Cheers.

[laughs]

- This is a candle.
I'm not gonna drink a candle.

- Jeffrey...

Jeff, I guess...

Is and will always be...

The funniest gentleman
that I've ever, ever met.

- Well, it's always
5:00 somewhere.

- [laughing]

- You all right there, ru-ru?

Do you fly with pot?
Do you fly with drugs?

- [stammers]
yes.

I hide in plain sight.

Here's what I do.

I put the pot in my bag,
which I check.

If they ever say to me,

"sir, we found your pot..."

- Yeah.
- Here's what I'm gonna say.

"you got me."

- [laughs]

- I love getting drunk
in the daytime, baby.

[laughter]
- so I have six or seven

Of these farms of guinea pigs,

And in three years time,
I'll be able to sell it all

For about a half a mil.

- Great.
- Congratulations, buzzsaw

- Guys, thanks again
for making it.

This is really nice.

- Yeah.
- Oh, salud.

- Are you kidding?
- All right.

- Thank you steve/tim,
for hosting us.

- Yes.
- Gigolos!

- Yeah, but you know what?

It's nice to have a day off,
spend it with my bros.

It's not all about
just having sex for money.

It's about kinship.

That is cheers right there.

- Yeah, you know,

I would love
to cheers with you guys,

But I don't know
what it was for me.

I just never really took
to [bleep] for money.

- Bobby, it's because you're
in love with farley, man.

Come on.

- No duh, everybody knows this.

- [laughs]
- farley collabelli?

- Yeah, farley collabelli,
the girl you clearly love.

- None of you guys
are my father,

So I don't have
to tell you anything.

And just to be clear,

My own father's not my father
'cause he abandoned us,

And so maybe that's why I don't
want to talk about my emotions.

- Bobby.
- What? What?

- Let it go.

- Maybe you guys are right.

Maybe the memory of farley

Is still very much
a part of me.

Maybe I'm still
very much in love with her,

Or at least
the memory of her.

- That's not a memory, bro.

Your body's being haunted
by a ghost.

[spooky music]

- Ghost?

Is that really the conclusion
we're reaching here?

♪ ♪

- Yes.

[upbeat spooky music]

♪ ♪

- Enough with the to-do.

It's me, bobby bottleservice.

Music producer,
reluctant gigolo,

And retired ghost bouncer.

But this time,
the ghost is farley's love,

And the haunted house
is none other

Than very much me,
a.K.A. Bobby b.

This is ghost bouncers:
The re-boot.

Parentheses "bouncing the ghost
inside of bobby's body,

A.K.A. Bodybouncers."

- The first step
to bouncing ghosts

Is assembling a crack team.

Luckily, deaf-mute
and mvp sound guy gian

Was able to move his shift
to be there with us.

- All right, you guys want
to get down to business?

- I want to bounce some ghosts
right now.

- Well, then, our first stop

Is that food truck
right there, brother.

- Oh, cool.

- Let's go take the next step

To bouncing the ghost
of farley's love

From my heart, bro.

- All right.

- I used to look down
on food trucks,

And then I realized
they're the only place left

Where I can truly cook
on my own terms,

So I opened up
molecular pastranomy.

- Hey, this parfait
is a-okay, bro.

- It's a pastrami sandwich,
you idiot.

I dehydrated all the elements

And shrunk them down
into this cup.

You got rye bread,
russian dressing,

Pastrami,
another piece of rye bread.

- You're science, bro.

You need to help us
shrink ourselves down

So I can get
in my own body, brother.

- Shrinking yourself
and going inside yourself...

- Yeah.
- Is impossible.

- Look, science.
What I'm talking about

Is you shrinking us down
so I can get in my own body

And vanquish the love
of the ghost of farley.

- Well...I do make liquids
smaller by using reduction.

The human body's 65% water.

I could maybe...

- Whoa, it worked!

We've been reducted,

And now we're inside my own
very much body.

- Dude, this is great.

I'm swimming in vodka
and fried mac-n-cheese bites.

I'm in heaven.

- Petey, you better get
out of there

Before my stomach acids
digress you.

- No, come join me;
come join me.

- Buddy,
you got to get out of there.

- Bobby, I may be
a little too inebriated

To walk through your system.

- Who said anything
about very much walking, bro?

[laughs]

It's a jet ski.

I swallowed it,
'cause I'm clutch.

- What'd you say?

- All right.

You boys ready to roll?

Or shall I say ski?

- [laughs]

Right on, bro.

- Bobby...

You're remembering me, bobby.

- Farley?

- Bobby, I hate it in here
so much.

You better find me fast.

- Gian, see if you can lock down
sound on farley's voice.

- Thanks, gian.

Great call, bro.

Wait.

I'm very much aroused,

Which means I know
where we're going next.

- Let's see what this
boat-orcycle can do.

[spooky music]

[woman moaning]

- Some say justice is blind.

But she's also insane and horny.

And the case
of the tsa versus ref jeff

Was no exception.

- Venga, si,
on a date here, right?

- Eh, well...

- Well...

- My favorite thing
about restaurants is chips.

- That sort of interaction

Where you're so excited,

You feel like
you're just first meeting,

But you're so comfortable
that you feel like

Perhaps you've known each other
for forever.

So, jeff, I realize,
as your attorney,

That I don't know
a lot about you.

Do you have a...Family?

- Oh, yeah.

- Oh, you do?

- Huge family.
- Oh.

- I got thousands of people
in my family.

Everyone I meet, I treat
like a brother or sister.

You know what I mean?
- Phew!

- You know, speaking of sisters,
can I ask you something?

- Anything.

- Who's your favorite character
on living single?

- Ruth and jeff's relationship
blossomed that night.

[salsa music]

Jeff's company
was like catnip for ruth,

And jeff was stunned
by his newfound ability

To lock down plans.

- Ruth diamond phillips...

Never cancelled on a plan once.

- Time would slip
away from them,

And before they knew it,
it was the day of jeff's trial.

- Mr. Molluso, do you still
reside at 359 west route 28?

- I do indeed.

I live there with
my beautiful sweetheart lara.

Hey, baby, how are you?

And our 15 beautiful children.

Say hi, guys.

These are good kids.

We rescued them
from a bunch of scumbags,

Those people who leave
their kids out in the dirt.

- Ref jeff and lara
have loosely adopted

Between 10 and 15
foster children...

- Oh, yeah, I got a big family.

- Something that
ruth diamond phillips

Could have rightfully
expected him

To mention at some point.

- Did you or did you not
go out to dinner with me

And do dancing with me?

- She's my lawyer, right?

- I'll allow it.

- Oh, I just wanted
to crucify that lara.

So you're just...

Well, you're just...

Well, you are just gorgeous,
aren't you?

- Oh, thank you.

- [sighs]

You're gonna tell me

That these two people...

Are criminals?

Oh, she's actually not.

I'm sorry.

- Yeah, so strike that.

- You know what
that man smuggles?

He smuggles love,

For exhibit "a."

He smuggles hugs,
for exhibit "b."

Every single photo
that slipped out of my hand,

Another crack
in my beating heart.

Would you like
to see some more?

- Of course; these are adorable.

- At the end of the day,

The lawyer in me won out,

And the woman in me
will have to go home and...

Figure it out,

And at least I know
how to do that.

I rest my case.

My heart is broken.

I'm fine.

[lara clapping]

Thank you.

You're so nice.

You're really...

A really nice, uh, person.

- For ruth diamond phillips,

The law won out over attraction.

- Ru-ru, come and join us.

You're part of the family now,
ru-ru.

Come here; come here.

- Yay.
- Yay.

- But I'm still horny.

[laughs]

I really am.

- Do you believe in ghosts?
- Yes.

- Can you tell me--
have you ever seen a ghost?

- No, but I bet I will.

I bet I will
one of these nights.

I can feel it coming.
- Yeah?

- I can actually
feel it coming.

If we did this
five days from now,

I bet I will have seen one.

- You think in five days time
you will have seen a ghost.

- I think it's
really, really possible.

- You think it'll be
a famous ghost?

If you could see any dead
person, who would you see?

- Annie oakley.

[spooky music]

- Okay, using my bps,

We are heading
south of the border.

Just make sure that we
don't get stuck in the liver,

'cause I know that one's a mess.

[laughter]

- You got liver disease, bro.

- Here we go.

[thumping dance music]

- Hey, not bad.

Your balls are packed.

- It's weird, though,
'cause I thought

I cleared out the club
this morning.

- Bobby, I'm straight-up
haunting you again.

- Bobby!
- Farley?

- I'm not inside your balls,
bobby.

I'm in the one place
you always kept me,

Your corazon.

- You're in my core zone?

All right, we got to go
hit my abs, bro.

- Corazon means heart.

Damn, you are stupid.

- Okay.

Dude, I don't know.

There's too many of my
former flames in that line.

- Ugh, bro.
That's the only way in.

- I can't do this, brother.
- Don't stress, bobby.

I got a plan.

All you got to do

Is go in there,
talk to girls,

Work your way in...

Bounce the ghost.

- Excuse me, ronni.

I think we met
and started dating

After an atlantic city
pool party.

Can I ask you a question?

Do you date me...Again?

[laughs]
thank you for letting me cut.

- Nice.

- Oh, barbie.

Look at those beautiful shoes.

They're backwards,

Which is what I'll
do to you later.

Hah hah hah hah hah!

Oh, amber,
good to see you again.

Maybe I'll ride
your waves of grain later.

[laughs]

You mean nothing to me.

- Hm, good seduction, bro.

- What's up, bro?
I just want to get in.

It's three dudes,
bobby bottleservice.

- Nah.

You're not on the list.

- Well, why don't you
peruse it again, bro?

I should be on it.

- You're not on the list.

- Peter...

The bouncer.

He's my father.

- What?

[dramatic music]

- From time to time, we wire
the defendants in the court

Just to hear what's going on
behind the scenes.

You know who was not a fun guy
to referee,

Was tom chambers,
phoenix suns.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- Remember the year that he won
all-star game mvp

Just 'cause magic
kept feeding him the ball,

Feeding him--why?

- You know, these guys,
they got their own egos, huh?

- Yeah.

- I was gonna go
to stenography school.

My mom said it was for girls,
you know,

So I decided not to go.

I still learned
how to do shorthand.

You typing this all out?
Look at you.

You got fast fingers.

You ever think
about playing piano?

Favorite biography,
last ten years.

- Um, bully pulpit,

The new teddy roosevelt one.

- For me, there's this new
biography out about tyrese.

- Who's that?

- Tyrese, r&b star.

He's got his own benihana table
in his house.

What's your favorite
court movie?

For me, time to kill,
samuel l. Jackson.

Know what I'm saying?

Pelican brief, denzel.

I think the kids
are getting tired.

- Yeah.

- They're good kids.

I got to figure out
all their names.

I know one of them's malik.

- That's the tall one.
- That's the tall one, is malik?

- He's very sweet, yeah.
- Yeah.

Malik is a sweet kid.

- I prosecuted bill shatner
for perjury.

- Really?

Did you get him?

How was he?
Was he a nice guy?

Is bill shatner a good guy?

- He's a good guy, yeah.

- I just got to run
a couple suicides real quick.

Time me, time me, time me.

- [blowing whistle]

Interference.

- Sorry about that.

[machine whirring]

Ooh, yeah.
- Huh?

- That's nice; that's nice.

- There you go.
- Thanks.

- What do you think
of that ruthy?

- She's nice.
We should try to hook them up.

- We should try to hook her up.
What about that guy steve?

- Oh, you mean tim?

- Yeah, tim/steve,
he goes by both.

Would you ever go by two names?

- Those two in particular
or just any two?

- Any two.

- I like it.

I prefer it over steve.

- I play a bunch of different
parts on kroll show.

It's my show.
- Yes.

- But I play
really just one part

On your animated show,

The life and times of tim
on hbo.

- That's true.
Are you--

- Did you not see
that I had versatility?

- [laughs]
- now's my chance.

- [laughing]

I, um...

I thought you were good.

- [laughs]

- Are you sure
I'm not on there,

Or did you forget my name,

Just like you forgot
to come home many moons ago?

- Bobby, you're not on the list.

- Ooh, that stuff is tough.

- The list of people
that you choose

To have a relationship with?

- Oh, you're making
fun of me, huh?

Show some respect
for your father.

You hear me?

- Even though this is negative,

I'll take any display
of attention

I can get from you.

- Whoa, bobby.

River of blood.

Where's it coming from?

- Oh, god, this confrontation
with you,

A.K.A. My estranged father,

Is causing big bobby
to deal with his emotions

By working out.

Dah!

You know what, I'm outtie.

- Ah!

You don't leave me.

I...Leave...You!

[dramatic music]

- See ya!
- I'll get the jet ski!

- Ugh!

[exciting music]

- Bobby, there's no time.
We got to bro!

- Gian!

- Go!

- Gian, you heard me?

[rumbling]

Gian...

- Hold on, I'm not following.

You shrunk yourself down
with the sound guy

With the assistance of a chef.

- Yeah.

- What did the chef possibly
have to do with that?

- Even though we were not able
to very much vanquish the ghost

Of farley's love from my heart,

The real loss...

Is our mvp sound man gian.

- I can't tell if you guys
are kidding or not.

- Let me tell you something,
steve/tim.

I have absolutely
no sense of humor.

- It didn't seem
like a funny story.

It just--
it's complex.

- It's the simplest thing
to grasp

In the whole world, steve/tim.

- We went inside my body.

We had a number of amazing
experiences and adventures.

At that point...

[voice breaking]
gian sacrificed himself...

To defeat my father...

And drowned in the experience,

Allowing peter and I...

To end up here today.

- To gian.
May he live forever

In your heart.
- Let's not toast to that.

- I don't have
any further questions.

- He's in you--

Literally, you're saying he's--

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- I hate it in here.

- Ha ha.

Good at bizness.

- Ow.

- Oh, very much jet ski,
very much cool.

[blowing]

[laughter]

I'm at home in the foam.