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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,536 - MA! IT'S BOBBY. 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:09,274 I'M HERE FOR A VERY MUCH MOTHER/SON BONDING WEEKEND. 3 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:10,476 MA? 4 00:00:11,578 --> 00:00:12,978 MA? 5 00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:13,612 "DEAR BOBBY, 6 00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,382 "A GENTLEMAN FRIEND HAS TAKEN ME OUT. 7 00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:20,619 I LEFT SOME CAPICOLA IN THE FRIDGE." 8 00:00:20,621 --> 00:00:22,621 GENTLEMAN FRIEND? 9 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:25,090 "TAKEN ME OUT"? 10 00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:26,759 CAPICOLA? 11 00:00:28,061 --> 00:00:31,196 [phone rings] 12 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:31,997 MA? 13 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:32,831 - HELLO, BOBBY. 14 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,500 ARE YOU MISSING SOMETHING? 15 00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:36,068 OR SHOULD I SAY SOMEONE? 16 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:39,304 - LOOK, I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND I DON'T KNOW-- 17 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,673 - IT'S EAGLEWING. - SO I DO KNOW WHO YOU ARE. 18 00:00:41,675 --> 00:00:42,975 WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY MOM? 19 00:00:42,977 --> 00:00:45,110 - SHE'S MY MOM NOW. [laughs] 20 00:00:45,112 --> 00:00:48,814 - IF YOU KISS MY MOM, I'LL CUT OFF YOUR [bleep] LIPS. 21 00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:50,082 - I'M NEVER GIVING BACK YOUR MOM. 22 00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:52,918 - MA, CAN YOU HEAR ME? I'M COMING FOR YOU. 23 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:56,321 - YOU AND I, WE'RE GONNA SETTLE THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL. 24 00:00:56,323 --> 00:01:00,359 BECAUSE IN MY UNIVERSE, I REIGN SUPREME. 25 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:01,860 AND IF YOU-- HELLO? 26 00:01:01,862 --> 00:01:04,229 BOBBY? I THINK HE HUNG UP. 27 00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,564 [dramatic music] 28 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,033 NO, I CAN HEAR NOISE IN THE BACKGROUND. 29 00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:12,638 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS. IT'S JUST, LIKE, MOVING AROUND. 30 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,040 - BOBBY, I CAME AS SOON AS I GOT YOUR TEXT. 31 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:15,941 - THEY GOT MY MOM, BRO. 32 00:01:15,943 --> 00:01:17,776 - WHO GOT YOUR MA? IS THAT CAPICOLA? 33 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:18,610 - EAGLEWING GOT HER. 34 00:01:18,612 --> 00:01:21,447 IT'S CAPICOLA, MORTADELLE, COCA COLA. 35 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:22,414 - YOU KNOW I'M THERE FOR YOU, BRO. 36 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:24,550 BUT GOING UP AGAINST EAGLEWING? WE CAN'T DO THAT ALONE. 37 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,885 - THAT'S WHY I NEED TO PUT TOGETHER A TUMULTUOUS TEAM 38 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:31,623 OF RAGTAG FRIENDS WHO UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF LOYALTY. 39 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,058 [gulps] 40 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:34,426 - OH, I LOVE WHEN WE NEED A TEAM, BRO. 41 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,327 - [echoing] GREAT. 42 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:36,261 THIS IS BOBBY BOTTLESERVICE 43 00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:39,498 AND IN ADDITION TO, THE IN ADDITION TOs. 44 00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,600 PETER PAPARAZZO, YOU'RE THE TECH GUY. 45 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:42,167 - I'M COMPUTERS. 46 00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:43,368 - GORGEOUS STRAIGHT GIRLS, CAN YOU PRETEND 47 00:01:43,370 --> 00:01:46,572 TO BE LIPSTICK STYLE LESBIANS AKA OUR DIVERSION? 48 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:47,506 - WAIT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. 49 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,142 - FARLEY, YOU HAVE THE VOICE OF A VERY MUCH SEXY HYENA DIVA. 50 00:01:50,144 --> 00:01:51,176 YOU'RE OUR ANGEL ON THE AIRWAYS 51 00:01:51,178 --> 00:01:55,013 AND RECORDING IT ALL IS OUR DEAF-MUTE SOUND GUY, GIAN. 52 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:57,149 AN MVP CANDIDATE EVERY DAY. 53 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:58,817 C.T., YOU'RE GONNA DRIVE THE VAN. 54 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,119 - YOU DON'T WANT ME TO JUST GO IN THERE 55 00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:01,453 AND GRAB YOUR MOTHER FOR YOU? 56 00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:02,087 - NO, BRO. 57 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:04,523 IT'S ABOUT PERSONAL VENGEANCE IN ADDITION TO CAMARADERIE. 58 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:07,259 WHICH EXPLAINS WHY I'VE BROUGHT YOU HERE TO THIS GARAGE. 59 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:10,395 MY APOLOGIES FOR THE MISH-MOSH DECOR. 60 00:02:10,397 --> 00:02:12,998 THIS IS THE PLAN. 61 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:16,168 [dubstep music] 62 00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:24,409 ♪ ♪ 63 00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,680 - ARE YOU COMPUTERS, JOHN? 64 00:02:28,682 --> 00:02:33,018 - I AM--I DON'T WANT TO STEP ON ANYONE'S TOES HERE, 65 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,387 BUT I AM COMPUTERS. 66 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,321 I AM COMPUTERS, YEAH. 67 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,524 - OH, MY GOD, I THINK I'M GOING INTO LABOR AT THIS POINT. 68 00:02:38,526 --> 00:02:41,126 - WHAT IS IT? - IT'S A TOILET BABY. 69 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:42,928 - SO I KNOW IT'S MINE. 70 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,329 - BORN INTO THE TOILET. 71 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,265 - HERE'S WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN, C-CZAR. 72 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,132 YOU NEED TO GET A JOB. 73 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:48,300 YOU NEED TO FIND A PLACE TO LIVE. 74 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,002 I'M INCLINED TO DRUG TEST YOU. 75 00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:51,236 - I HAVE TO GET SERIOUS NOW 76 00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:55,140 'CAUSE OF THE EXISTING REALITIES OF MY LIFE. 77 00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:55,841 WHAT'S UP? 78 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,610 I'M C-CZAR, DISENFRANCHISED FATHER. 79 00:03:02,448 --> 00:03:04,149 I LOVE MY BABY SO MUCH. 80 00:03:04,151 --> 00:03:05,284 [toilet flushes] 81 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,218 [baby cries] 82 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,619 OH, YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, DO YOU? 83 00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:10,455 - TODAY WE'RE HERE TO DETERMINE YOUR CUSTODY. 84 00:03:10,457 --> 00:03:11,223 WHAT'S GOING ON? 85 00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,491 - YOU KNOW, I TAKE CARE OF PINNOCHLIO... 86 00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,059 - HIS NAME IS SKYLORD. - HIS NAME IS PINNOCHLIO. 87 00:03:14,061 --> 00:03:16,895 - OKAY, HIS NAME IS SKYLORD. - SO IT'S AMICABLE? 88 00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:18,263 WHAT ARE YOU BOTH LOOKING FOR HERE? 89 00:03:18,265 --> 00:03:20,432 - SHE'S JUST PISSED 'CAUSE I WON'T EAT HER [bleep] 90 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,367 WHEN SHE WANTS! 91 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:25,070 - WELL, FOR ME IT'S LIKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOME 92 00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:28,307 TAKING CARE OF OUR SON IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA STRAIGHT UP, 93 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,042 LIKE, LAP UP ON MY STAR HOLE. 94 00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:30,842 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 95 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:33,078 - YOU KNOW, THIS IS NOT A THERAPY SESSION HERE TODAY. 96 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,913 I AM GOING TO RECOMMEND COUPLES COUNSELING 97 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:37,216 FOR THE TWO OF YOU WITH MY GOOD FRIEND RON FUNCHES. 98 00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,450 I THINK YOU COULD BENEFIT FROM IT. 99 00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:39,785 - YEAH, I COULD [bleep] WITH RON FUNCHES. 100 00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,921 - IF HE GETS 3,000 HOURS OF PRACTICING AS A THERAPIST 101 00:03:42,923 --> 00:03:43,789 IN ADDITION TO GRAD SCHOOL, 102 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:46,024 HE WILL BECOME A LICENSED THERAPIST. 103 00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:47,559 - IS HE NOT A FULL THERAPIST YET? 104 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,229 - HE'S A THERAPIST IN TRAINING, AND HE WILL GET HIS LICENSE, 105 00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,564 AND YOU WILL HELP HIM GET THE HOURS. 106 00:03:53,933 --> 00:03:57,970 - WELL, I MEAN, THIS IS JUST A NEW FACET OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. 107 00:03:57,972 --> 00:03:59,371 YOU GUYS WILL ALWAYS BE PARENTS. 108 00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,539 - I'M, LIKE, MAD AT HIM THOUGH. 109 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:01,807 - IT'S LIKE, WE'RE NOT EVEN TOGETHER, 110 00:04:01,809 --> 00:04:03,008 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 111 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:05,544 - NO, LIKE, WE'RE NOT. IT'S LIKE I'M NOT WITH YOU. 112 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,045 - NO? - MM-MM. 113 00:04:09,349 --> 00:04:11,883 - SO YOU GUYS AREN'T TOGETHER? 114 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:13,452 - MM-MM, WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. 115 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:15,187 NO. MM-MM. 116 00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,521 - WELL, WHAT WE'RE SEEING HERE 117 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,323 IS A LOT OF PASSION, AND THEN ANGER... 118 00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,792 - NO, I'M NOT GONNA GO DOWN ON YOU IN FRONT OF RON FUNCHES. 119 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:24,463 - YOU GUYS ARE ENTRENCHED IN AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, 120 00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:26,531 AND I THINK IT'S GONNA BE MY OPINION THAT YOU 121 00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:27,766 START SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. 122 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,868 - ALL RIGHT, LISTEN, LIKE, MAYBE, LIKE, 123 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:30,736 WE SHOULD GO ON A DATE 124 00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,437 AND JUST, LIKE, SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE. 125 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,106 - LIKE, WITH EACH OTHER? 126 00:04:35,842 --> 00:04:38,410 - NO. - NO. 127 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:40,312 - HE PLAYS MIKEY ON WHEELS, ONTARIO, 128 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,848 BUT YOU KNOW HIM BETTER AS THE ACTOR AND ENTERTAINER 129 00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:43,649 BRYAN LACROIX! 130 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:47,286 THIS IS OUR WEEKLY CHECK-IN WITH OUR IN-HOUSE BRYANTOLOGIST 131 00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:48,186 THE HOFFMAN TWINS. 132 00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:49,721 - HI, I'M SHELBY HOFFMAN. 133 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:50,922 - I'M KELLY HOFFMAN. 134 00:04:50,924 --> 00:04:52,391 - WE'RE THE HOFFMAN TWINS. 135 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:53,558 - HERE'S A SNEAK PEAK OF THE-- 136 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:56,128 OF A NEW EPISODE OF WHEELS, ONTARIO. 137 00:04:56,130 --> 00:05:00,499 - BRYAN'S CHARACTER HAS SOME ISSUES HE HAS TO FACE. 138 00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:06,938 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE, COACH TEACHER. 139 00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,141 PERHAPS YOU COULD JOIN US. 140 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,809 - THAT WOULD BE A NEW ADVENTURE. 141 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:14,346 - ♪ IT'S TIME TO STOP AND BREATHE ♪ 142 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:16,448 - MIKEY, TUNES, INUIT ANDY. 143 00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:17,182 - OH, HEY, SCOTT. 144 00:05:17,184 --> 00:05:20,252 - STUDENTS USUALLY CALL ME COACH TEACHER. 145 00:05:21,754 --> 00:05:24,489 - SO YOU'RE A BIG CANADIAN BISEXUAL NOW, EH? 146 00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:27,092 CAN'T DECIDE WHICH GENDER YOU FANCY? 147 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,360 - WHAT? 148 00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:30,595 - MIKEY, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU. 149 00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,231 - IT'S NONE OF ANYONE'S OWN BUSINESS. 150 00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,503 - LET'S HAVE SOME CHAMPAGNE. 151 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:39,271 - UM... 152 00:05:39,273 --> 00:05:41,306 - OH, LOOK WHO'S HERE. 153 00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,478 - HEY, BOO. WHAT'S UP? 154 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,113 I HEARD THE NEWS. 155 00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:50,415 SO DOPE. 156 00:05:50,417 --> 00:05:52,417 SO DOPE. 157 00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,252 NOW WE CAN [bleep] BE TOGETHER. 158 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:55,220 - PARDON? 159 00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,822 - WHO'S MY NEXT ROMANCE? 160 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:59,191 A BOY? A GIRL? BOTH? 161 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,526 NEITHER? SOMEONE TRANS? 162 00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,562 SO MANY CHOICES. 163 00:06:06,399 --> 00:06:08,967 - MIKE, NOT AT SCHOOL. 164 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,506 - HAVE YOU BEEN TO RADIO SHACK BEFORE? 165 00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:16,742 - YEAH, I'VE BEEN TO RADIO SHACK BEFORE. 166 00:06:16,744 --> 00:06:17,576 - I DON'T KNOW. 167 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,710 I'VE GONE INTO RADIO SHACK BEFORE. 168 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,911 I'VE ALMOST NEVER PURCHASED ANYTHING. 169 00:06:19,913 --> 00:06:21,646 - HOW ARE YOU STAYING IN BUSINESS? 170 00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,281 - WE LOVE YOU RADIO SHACK FOR SURVIVING. 171 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:23,915 YOU'RE A SURVIVOR. 172 00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,918 - YEAH, YOU MADE IT WHERE MANY HAVE FALLEN. 173 00:06:29,288 --> 00:06:30,589 - C-CZAR? - UH-HUH. 174 00:06:30,591 --> 00:06:32,557 - IT'S 90 DAYS AFTER FATHER'S DAY. 175 00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,291 - RIGHT ON. 176 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,427 - THE STORE'S GONNA BE SWARMED WITH DADS RETURNING PLUGS. 177 00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:38,029 - OKAY. - SO I'M SAYING, BE READY. 178 00:06:38,031 --> 00:06:39,765 - ALWAYS. - GOOD. 179 00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,500 - GREAT. 180 00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,335 - HI, I NEED TO RETURN THIS PLUG. 181 00:06:43,337 --> 00:06:45,070 - OKAY, DO YOU HAVE A RECEIPT? 182 00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,471 - I DON'T THINK I EVER GOT A RECEIPT. 183 00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:47,839 - OKAY, I CAN'T REALLY ACCEPT IT 184 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,040 'CAUSE IT'S NOT IN THE ORIGINAL PACKAGING. 185 00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,575 - OKAY, WELL, I KNOW I BOUGHT THIS HERE. 186 00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:51,443 JUST PRINT OUT THE RECEIPT... 187 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,577 - DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME, PLEASE. 188 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,712 - I'M ABOUT TO RAISE MY VOICE, OKAY? 189 00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:58,617 - RIGHT, WE WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT, JUDGE LEVENSTEIN. 190 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,587 - C-CZAR? - YEAH, FROM BABY COURT. 191 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:03,388 - YEAH, I KNOW. 192 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,756 I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU WITHOUT MY ROBE ON. 193 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:07,225 - HOW ABOUT YOU CAN RETURN THIS PLUG, 194 00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:09,361 AND I WILL DOCK IT FROM MY PAY. 195 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,463 WOULD THAT BE OKAY FOR YOU? - YOU'RE FINE. 196 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,831 I'M GONNA LEAVE WITH MY WORTHLESS PLUG. 197 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:16,168 - I APPRECIATE THAT. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT PLUGS. 198 00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:18,970 - WOW, C-CZAR THE WAY YOU HANDLED THAT JUDGE 199 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:21,440 WITHOUT LOSING YOUR TEMPER, THAT WAS SO ADULT. 200 00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:24,142 - YEAH, WELL, I GUESS, LIKE, I LEARNED HOW TO BE POLITE 201 00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:28,547 FROM, LIKE, A COOL ADULT WHO'S, LIKE, KIND OF MAD CUTE. 202 00:07:28,549 --> 00:07:32,451 SO, ON THE TIP, LIKE, UH, WILL YOU MAYBE, LIKE, 203 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:34,719 TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME? 204 00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,721 - OKAY. - RIGHT, COOL. ALL RIGHT. 205 00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,157 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. - OKAY. 206 00:07:40,226 --> 00:07:42,727 [keyboard clacking] 207 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,063 - I'M NOT EVEN TYPING NOTHING OVER HERE. 208 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:46,665 - ME EITHER. - YEAH, I GOT NERVOUS. 209 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:49,067 - ME TOO. - [chuckles] 210 00:07:50,870 --> 00:07:52,103 - ALL RIGHT. - OKAY. 211 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,171 - HERE WE GO. 212 00:07:53,173 --> 00:07:54,406 - HERE WE GO. FIRST DATE. 213 00:07:54,408 --> 00:07:55,540 FIRST DATE. - THAT'S RIGHT. 214 00:07:55,542 --> 00:07:58,243 NOW, C-CZAR, ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE READY FOR THIS DATE? 215 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,178 I MEAN, YOU STILL ARE EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED 216 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,313 WITH THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD. 217 00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:02,280 - I AIN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT. 218 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:03,715 I DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT HER NO MORE. 219 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,016 - WAIT, WHO IS THAT? - I DON'T KNOW. 220 00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,785 - WELL, DON'T JUST ANSWER IT. - WHY NOT? 221 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:07,819 - DO NOT SWING OPEN THE DOOR. 222 00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,654 YOU NEED TO REMAIN CALM. JUST RELAX. 223 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:10,689 EASY DOES IT. - HEY! 224 00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,924 - OH! OH, MY GOD. 225 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,894 HONESTLY, C-CZAR, I AM SO SORRY 226 00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,929 TO, LIKE, BARGE IN LIKE THIS, 227 00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,464 ESPECIALLY SINCE RON FUNCHES 228 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:21,366 SAID THAT WE WERE, LIKE, TOO EMESHED. 229 00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:22,367 - WHY ARE YOU HERE, LIZ? 230 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,969 - LIKE, I JUST, LIKE, NEED SOMEBODY TO, LIKE, 231 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,904 SIT WITH ME WHILE I, LIKE, BABYSIT SKYLORD. 232 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,940 - I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT, LIZ. - OH, YOU DO? 233 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,275 - I COULD PROBABLY CHANGE THE DATE. 234 00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,110 I COULD PROBABLY CHANGE SOMETHING. 235 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:32,811 - NO, NO... 236 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:34,079 - NO, I WOULD, LIKE, HATE TO DO THAT. 237 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:35,580 - I'D PROBABLY VOLUNTEER TO BABYSIT FOR YOU. 238 00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,948 - THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANTED. I MEAN, THAT'S FINE. 239 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,049 I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 240 00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:38,984 - YEAH... - I DON'T MIND. 241 00:08:38,986 --> 00:08:40,085 - YEAH, BOB DUKER, YOU COULD BABYSIT. 242 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,654 - LIZ AND I WILL JUST SIT HERE AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. 243 00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,755 YOU'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO THINGS 244 00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:44,956 THAT ARE RUSTY AND SHARP, ARE YOU? 245 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,291 - I DON'T KNOW. TRY ME. 246 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,094 - OKAY, I'M GONNA GO ON THIS DATE. 247 00:08:49,096 --> 00:08:50,695 - GO AHEAD. HAVE FUN. 248 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,696 YEAH. - HEY! 249 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,132 AH! - BYE, KID. I LOVE YOU. 250 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,467 [baby crying] 251 00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:58,637 [dramatic music] 252 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,673 - AS SOME OF YOU ALREADY KNOW, MY BEAUTIFUL-- 253 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:03,308 [sobs] 254 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,011 [softly] MY BEAUTIFUL MOTHER... 255 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:06,511 - BOBBY. 256 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,481 - WAS RECENTLY KIDNAPPED BY THE SEXUALLY CHARISMATIC 257 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,684 YET UNDENIABLY EVIL EAGLEWING. 258 00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:13,351 - [laughs] 259 00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:14,452 - SO WHAT'S THE PLAN, BOBBY B? 260 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,022 HOW DO WE GO AND GET YOUR MOTHER BACK? 261 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:19,224 - THIS IS THE PLAN. 262 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,859 I'VE WRITTEN IT OUT IN SPECIAL CHALK, 263 00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:21,893 SO IF THE POLICE EVER SHOW UP, 264 00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,596 THEY'LL BE LIKE, "OH, VERY COOL, VERY COOL." 265 00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:26,364 THE GIGOLO HOUSE IS A VERITABLE FORTRESS 266 00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,534 WITH MANY GIGOLO ROAMING THE PERIMETER FOR CARDIO. 267 00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:34,439 THESE GIGOLOS ARE EQUIPMENTED WITH AN AK-47, AN M-480, 268 00:09:34,441 --> 00:09:36,207 AND AN OK-UBN ME? 269 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:37,509 - OK-UBN ME. 270 00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,110 - OKAY, I'LL BE IN YOU. 271 00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,246 [laughter] 272 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,013 THIS SATURDAY, 273 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,182 THERE'S A WHITE-HOT BACHE-LORETTE PARTY 274 00:09:44,184 --> 00:09:45,684 HAPPENING AT THEIR POOL. 275 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:48,954 PRETEND LESBIANS, YOUR JOB IS TO RING THE DOORBELL 276 00:09:48,956 --> 00:09:51,723 AND SAY THAT YOU'VE JUST MOVED INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD. 277 00:09:51,725 --> 00:09:52,424 - NEIGHBORS. 278 00:09:52,426 --> 00:09:53,491 - I'M TELLING YOU, THESE GIGOLO 279 00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:54,893 ARE [bleep] MONSTERS WITH AMAZING HAIR, 280 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,294 BUT THEY WILL RELAX IF THEY FIND OUT 281 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,763 THAT A WOMAN DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A SEXUAL CONQUEST. 282 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:02,100 ALL OF THIS TEAMWORK WILL ALLOW ME TO SLITHER INSIDE THE HOUSE 283 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,704 AND GET MYSELF UPSTAIRS AND GET MY MOTHER BACK. 284 00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,638 - BOBBY? 285 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,673 - BUT BEFORE I DO THAT, I GOT TO MAKE MY WAY 286 00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:11,009 THROUGH THIS WHITE-HOT BACHE-LORETTE PARTY. 287 00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,844 - BRO, THAT'S PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. 288 00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:13,979 HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT? 289 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:17,382 - JUST LIKE RICHARD GRIECO DID IN THE LATE '80s. 290 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:20,218 I'M GONNA [bleep] MY WAY THROUGH. 291 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,053 - OH. 292 00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:25,991 - OH, SMART. 293 00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:29,127 [dramatic music] 294 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:35,300 ♪ ♪ 295 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,970 [woman moaning] 296 00:10:41,874 --> 00:10:45,010 [dramatic music] 297 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,613 ♪ ♪ 298 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:51,216 - OH, GOD. 299 00:10:51,218 --> 00:10:52,450 - GO, BOBBY. 300 00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,953 - LET ME SEE THIS. 301 00:10:54,955 --> 00:10:57,789 [chuckles] I KNEW HE HAD IT IN HIM. 302 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:02,927 - WE GOT LESBOS DINGING THE DOORBELL. 303 00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,663 - WE JUST MOVED IN DOWN THE STREET. 304 00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,032 CAN WE BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR? 305 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,166 - YOU TWO LESBIANS? 306 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:08,767 both: YEAH. 307 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,102 - AH, THAT TAKES SO MUCH PRESSURE OFF US. 308 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,137 - YES. 309 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,104 - YOU'RE GOOD. 310 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:16,007 [alarm blaring] 311 00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,842 WE GOT COMPANY. THERE'S ANOTHER SENSOR. 312 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,010 EAGLEWING MUST'VE ACTIVATED IT. 313 00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,880 - SO, YEAH, WE JUST HANG OUT AT OUR PLACE. 314 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,215 - I SEE THE ALARM SYSTEM. 315 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:30,021 ALL RIGHT, FARLEY, TIME TO HIT THAT HIGH NOTE, BABY. 316 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:31,890 - [singing off-key] 317 00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,992 - NO, FARLEY. IT'S NOT HIGH ENOUGH. 318 00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,794 - I CAN'T. - YES, YOU CAN, BABY. 319 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:36,628 I BELIEVE IN YOU, FARLEY. 320 00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:38,496 - YOU NEED TO DISABLE IT, AND YOU NEED TO DO IT NOW. 321 00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,331 THOSE FAKE-ASS LESBIANS ARE RUNNING OUT OF BULLSHIT 322 00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:41,266 TO GIVE THOSE HORNY GIGOLOS. 323 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,034 - OH, YEAH, AND WE LOVE VIDEO GAMES. 324 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,570 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 325 00:11:45,572 --> 00:11:47,572 DO YOU GUYS LIKE TO PLAY WITH MODEL TRAINS? 326 00:11:47,574 --> 00:11:48,873 - THIS GUY WITH THE TRAINS. 327 00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,175 [laughter] 328 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,876 - YEAH. - WHOA, THAT'S CRAZY. 329 00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:52,644 WHAT IS THAT FROM? 330 00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,312 - FARLEY, HURRY. MY BATTERY'S DOWN TO 2%. 331 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,849 - BOBBY, I CAN ONLY HIT THAT NOTE WHEN YOU TALK DIRTY TO ME. 332 00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,217 - YOU NEED ME TO TALK DIRTY TO YOU NOW? 333 00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,120 - YES, I WANT YOU TO TALK-- AH, COME ON, BOBBY. 334 00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,722 - OKAY, NO PROBLEM, GIRL. 335 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,791 FIRST AND FIRST MOSTLY LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I'M WEARING. 336 00:12:06,793 --> 00:12:07,592 - OKAY, GOOD. 337 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,127 PETER, I NEED YOU TO GET ON MY NECK. 338 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,695 C.T., TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF. 339 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:11,696 - YOU GOT IT, MAMA. 340 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,931 - A GLADIATOR VEST. 341 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:17,235 - AND, GIAN, I NEED YOU TO ACT LIKE MY DISAPPROVING FATHER. 342 00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,671 YEAH! 343 00:12:19,673 --> 00:12:21,106 - YOU HITTING THOSE HIGH NOTES. 344 00:12:21,108 --> 00:12:22,507 - [high-pitched singing] 345 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,475 [phone beeps] 346 00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:25,076 - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH... 347 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,445 - OKAY, THAT'S A LITTLE TOO SOON TO CELEBRATE, GUYS. 348 00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:29,614 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING IN THERE, FARLEY? 349 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:30,415 - THAT'S IT. - OOH. 350 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,649 - WHAT, BOBBY? - ARE YOU JOKING ME? 351 00:12:31,651 --> 00:12:33,585 ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME LIKE THAT, FARLEY? 352 00:12:33,587 --> 00:12:35,286 - BOBBY, YOU DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE STORY. 353 00:12:35,288 --> 00:12:36,888 - LET ME JUST TELL YOU WHEN I'M DONE WITH THIS MISSION, 354 00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,824 I'M GONNA GO IN AND SLIT ALL THE MEN'S THROAT IN THAT VAN. 355 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,460 - BOBBY, YOU JUST [bleep] 15 WOMEN. 356 00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:43,428 - [groans] 357 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,029 [cell phone ringing] 358 00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,798 GO FOR BOBBY. 359 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,233 - WHAT HAPPENED TO HELLO? 360 00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:49,801 - MA? 361 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,936 - WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? - CHECK OUT THOSE BALL BEARINGS. 362 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,471 - WOW, LOOK. - DAMN, IT IS. 363 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:54,773 IT'S BALL BEARINGS. - WHERE ARE YOU? 364 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:56,775 - THEY'RE ALL LOOKING FOR YOU, BOBBY. 365 00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:57,976 WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME. 366 00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,410 - WHAT ROOM ARE YOU IN, MA. 367 00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,379 - CALM DOWN AND LISTEN... 368 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,180 - BUT, MA! 369 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,849 - THEY HAD ME BLINDFOLDED WHEN THEY BROUGHT ME IN HERE. 370 00:13:04,851 --> 00:13:08,686 I HEARD THE SOUND OF KNEE-HIGH GLADIATOR BOOTS 371 00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:11,790 WITH CUBAN HEEL CLIP-CLOPPITING UP THE STAIRS. 372 00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,825 AND THEN RIGHT BEFORE THEY GOT ME IN THE ROOM, 373 00:13:13,827 --> 00:13:17,428 I HEARD A RAILROAD CROSSING. 374 00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:18,596 'CAUSE YOU'RE FATHER ABANDONED US, 375 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,432 YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THAT COULD SAVE ME, BOBBY. 376 00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,135 - MA! - BOBBY! 377 00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:31,075 [laughter] 378 00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:37,515 - THE PARTY'S STARTED. 379 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,651 - WHEN I GOT YOUR EMAIL, YOU SAID YOU WERE BI NOW. 380 00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:41,686 - YES, BECAUSE I WANTED ADVICE. 381 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:44,022 - OH, I MISREAD THAT EMAIL. 382 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:44,656 [bleep! 383 00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:47,859 - I'M EXPERIMENTING BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I WANT TO MAKE LOVE 384 00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:49,494 TO EVERY MAN I MEET. 385 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,596 - AH, [bleep]. 386 00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:52,497 [bleep]. 387 00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,966 I JUST GET CATFISHED SO MUCH. 388 00:13:54,968 --> 00:13:55,700 - [chuckles] 389 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:57,001 - COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 390 00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:57,969 - NO, STOP IT. - COME ON. 391 00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,404 COME ON YOU LITTLE TEASE. STOP BEING A TEASE. 392 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:00,605 - I'M NOT BEING A TEASE. - YOU ARE. 393 00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:03,041 YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE TEASE. - I'M NOT BEING A TEASE. 394 00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:04,509 - [bleep], MAN. - STOP IT. 395 00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,844 - IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY, OKAY. 396 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:07,946 YOU EMAIL ME. YOU SAID THAT YOU'RE BI NOW. 397 00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,181 I JUMPED IN A ZIP CAR. DROVE ALL THE WAY UP HERE. 398 00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,784 SO NOW I'M STUCK IN CANADA WITH NO ONE TO JERK ME OFF. 399 00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:15,954 JUST A BUNCH OF FREE GOVERNMENT SERVICES, LAX DRUG LAWS, 400 00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:16,821 BEAUTIFUL SCENERY. 401 00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:20,291 ACTUALLY, I LIKE IT UP HERE. 402 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:21,092 I THINK I MIGHT STAY. 403 00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:23,428 AND I JUST READ AN ARTICLE THAT THE MIDDLE CLASS HERE 404 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,329 IS ACTUALLY THRIVING, 405 00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:26,531 WHERE IN AMERICA IT'S A REAL STRUGGLE. 406 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:27,765 YOU GOT MY INFO? - YEAH. 407 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:30,668 - HIT ME UP IF YOU WANT TO SUCK ON A REAL CHUBSTER. 408 00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:34,539 - THANKS. 409 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:35,707 YOU LOOK REALLY GOOD TOO. 410 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,075 - OH, YOU LIKE WHAT I'M WEARING? - YEAH. 411 00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:39,978 - NO, LIKE, I'M TRASH, AND YOU, LIKE, A PRINCESS. 412 00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,713 BUT, LIKE, A PRINCESS YOU DON'T MIND, LIKE, 413 00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,782 GOING INTO THE FARVELA AND, LIKE, YOU KNOW, LIKE, [bleep] 414 00:14:44,784 --> 00:14:47,819 LIKE, A STREET RAT, LIKE... 415 00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:49,554 LIKE, I REALLY LIKE YOU A LOT. 416 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:50,889 - WELL, ISN'T THAT A GOOD THING? 417 00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:53,458 - I GUESS. CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU? 418 00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:54,225 - YEAH. 419 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,760 - IT'S LIKE I'M IN THERAPY RIGHT NOW 420 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,462 AND THAT'S, LIKE, HARD TO ADMIT 421 00:14:57,464 --> 00:15:02,267 BECAUSE, LIKE, BEING IN THERAPY MEANS THAT, LIKE... 422 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:04,502 LIKE, I HAVE WEAKNESSES. 423 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:07,205 BETWEEN LIZ AND PINNOCHLIO, 424 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:08,306 IT'S LIKE A LOT. 425 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:09,340 - WHO'S PINNOCHLIO? 426 00:15:09,342 --> 00:15:10,775 - THAT'S MY BABY, PINNOCHLIO. 427 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:12,043 - I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS HIS NAME. 428 00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:14,646 - SOME PEOPLE CALL HIM SKYLORD. 429 00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:18,116 - SO, LIKE, YOU AND C-CZAR ARE, LIKE, BFFs NOW? 430 00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:21,019 - WE'RE INCREDIBLY CLOSE. I CONSIDER HIM A SON. 431 00:15:21,021 --> 00:15:22,387 - OH, THAT'S SWEET. 432 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:24,656 DOES HE EVER, LIKE, SAY ANYTHING ABOUT ME? 433 00:15:24,658 --> 00:15:28,559 - UM, I DON'T KNOW IF I FEEL COMFORTABLE DISCUSSING IT. 434 00:15:28,561 --> 00:15:30,028 - OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL COMFORTABLE. 435 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,196 YOU SHOULD JUST TELL ME WHAT HE SAYS. 436 00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,431 - HOLD ON A SECOND. 437 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:34,999 - OH. 438 00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:40,605 - WHAT'S THAT? IS THAT ANY GOOD? 439 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,240 - OH, MUSONEX? ABSOLUTELY. 440 00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,042 IT'S THE GOLD STANDARD OF EDGY SLEEP. 441 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:47,045 - WOULD YOU BE INTO IT IF I GOT A GLUG OF THAT? 442 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,413 - OH, GLUG AWAY, MY LADY. 443 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,782 - MMM, I'M GONNA SLUG THIS DOWN. 444 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:52,650 - GOOD THING THE FDA DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. 445 00:15:52,652 --> 00:15:54,686 IT'S CANADIAN. - OH, MY GOD. 446 00:15:54,688 --> 00:15:56,220 LIKE, IF THE FBI KNEW ABOUT THIS, 447 00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:59,123 THEY WOULDN'T SOLVE ANY CRIMES AT ALL. 448 00:16:00,926 --> 00:16:03,695 - I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST BE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE. 449 00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:04,562 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE? 450 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,397 - I WANT TO BE A GOOD FATHER, 451 00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:09,801 AND I WANT TO BE A GOOD EMPLOYEE, 452 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:13,805 AND I WANT TO BE A GOOD FRIEND. 453 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,506 - THANK YOU FOR BEING YOURSELF. 454 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:20,845 - LIKE, I FEEL LIKE I LIKE YOU, LIKE, LIKE, A SISTER. 455 00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:25,450 - YEAH, I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE LIKE MY BROTHER TOO. 456 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,219 - AND, LIKE, IT WOULD BE WEIRD FOR BROTHERS AND SISTERS 457 00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,288 TO DO INCEST, YOU KNOW? 458 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:30,922 - YEAH. 459 00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:33,691 - I'M GLAD WE COULD KEEP THIS PROFESSIONAL. 460 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:39,497 - BOB DUKER, I'M BACK FROM MY DATE. 461 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:43,468 AND SHE WAS NICE GIRL, BUT THERE WEREN'T NO CHEMISTRY. 462 00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:46,971 YO! WAKE UP! 463 00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,139 BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM, BLAM! 464 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,741 - C-CZAR, WHAT IS TROUBLING YOU? 465 00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:50,908 - I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY BOY! 466 00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,643 YOU WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW, DUKER? 467 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:54,078 YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME RIGHT NOW, DUKER? 468 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,582 - HOLD ON, SHE DRANK TOO MUCH MUSONEX, SO I PUT HER TO BED. 469 00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:58,883 - AND THEN YOU [bleep] MY GIRL? 470 00:16:58,885 --> 00:16:59,917 - IF YOU THINK FOR ONE MINUTE 471 00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:02,787 THAT I COULD BETRAY YOU LIKE THAT, IT'S RIDICULOUS. 472 00:17:02,789 --> 00:17:04,255 DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAPERWORK IT'D TAKE 473 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:05,289 FOR ME TO GET AN ERECTION? 474 00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:07,025 - LIKE, HONESTLY, HE'S FALLING APART. 475 00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:10,495 HE'S, LIKE, AT DEATH'S DOOR, AND YOU COMING THROUGH THE DOOR 476 00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:11,963 AND ACCUSE HIM OF BEING AT MY DOOR 477 00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:14,866 AND, LIKE, THAT'S NOT THE DOOR THAT HAPPENED. 478 00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:18,436 IT WAS A MOOSE-UNDERSTANDING. 479 00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:21,639 - WOULD YOU LIKE TO JOIN US? 480 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:22,673 - I WENT ON A DATE. 481 00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:23,975 SHE REALLY NICE GIRL, 482 00:17:23,977 --> 00:17:24,876 BUT THERE WEREN'T NO-- 483 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:26,711 NOTHING GOING-- THERE WASN'T NO-- 484 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:27,912 I DIDN'T GET MY DICK-- 485 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:30,214 I'M NOT HAVING MY DICK. - RELAX. 486 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,382 - THERE'S NO ROOM FOR ME. 487 00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:32,383 - WELL, WE'LL MAKE SOME ROOM. 488 00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:34,552 WE'LL JUST MOVE DOG THE CUDDLE HUNTER HERE. 489 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,220 - THERE'S A SPACE WE CAN TALK IT OUT. 490 00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,623 LIKE, THERE'S NO REASON TO, LIKE, GET SO UPSET. 491 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,425 LIKE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST, LIKE-- 492 00:17:40,427 --> 00:17:41,692 WE'LL JUST, LIKE, ACT LIKE ADULTS. 493 00:17:41,694 --> 00:17:44,962 - I NEED SOMETHING TO GET COMFORTABLE OVER THERE. 494 00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,932 [moaning] 495 00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,268 - DON'T WAKE BOB DUKE UP. 496 00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,336 DON'T WAKE SKYLORD. - IT'S PINNOCHLIO. 497 00:17:52,338 --> 00:17:53,571 - IT'S SKYLORD. - NO, IT'S-- 498 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,473 - ARE YOU TWO SLEEPING? - YEAH. 499 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:56,641 - YEAH. - DEAD ASLEEP. 500 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:57,475 - I'M DEAD ASLEEP. 501 00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,077 - OKAY. - WE'RE GOING TO BED. 502 00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,478 - YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE GOING TO SLEEP? 503 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:04,182 - MM-HMM. both: YEAH. 504 00:18:04,184 --> 00:18:04,882 - YOU KNOW WHAT? 505 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:10,755 I WORKED COAT CHECK IN SAN FRANCISCO AT A STRIP CLUB. 506 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,522 MEN STRIPPING. 507 00:18:11,524 --> 00:18:14,625 AND THERE WERE A BUNCH OF BACHELORETTE PARTIES IN THERE, 508 00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,160 AND THEY WERE CRAZY. 509 00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:16,828 - REALLY? 510 00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:18,963 - THE MALE STRIPPERS, LIKE, GRAB WOMEN 511 00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:22,066 AND WILL WHEELBARROW WALK THEM AROUND THE ROOM 512 00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:23,101 WITH THEIR SKIRTS FALLING. 513 00:18:23,103 --> 00:18:24,435 I MEAN, THEY ARE... - REALLY? 514 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:26,337 - SO PHYSICAL AND CRAZY. 515 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,005 - ACTUALLY THERE ARE A NUMBER OF VIDEOS ONLINE 516 00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:29,440 WHERE YOU CAN WATCH THAT KIND OF THING. 517 00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,043 - OH, THE CRAZY ONES AND, YOU KNOW, WITH THE... 518 00:18:32,045 --> 00:18:32,743 - WELL, JUST-- 519 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:34,412 - THERE'S SOME REALLY CRAZY ONES OUT THERE. 520 00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,213 WHERE IT'S LIKE-- 521 00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,180 - WHERE IT'S LIKE, YOU KNOW, 522 00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,548 MEN [bleep] A WHOLE ROOM OF BACHELORETTES. 523 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,382 - LIKE BODY PART... 524 00:18:38,384 --> 00:18:39,851 - IT'S A SPECIFIC GENRE OF PORN. 525 00:18:39,853 --> 00:18:42,086 - FINALLY THE HERO HAS ARRIVED. 526 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:44,755 - EAGLEWING, I KNEW IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG. 527 00:18:44,757 --> 00:18:46,757 - YEAH, I TOLD YOU IT WAS ME. 528 00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:47,692 - AND THAT'S HOW I KNEW. 529 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:48,759 WHY DID YOU KIDNAP MY MOM? 530 00:18:48,761 --> 00:18:52,096 - OH, NOW YOU'RE STARTING TO ASK THE INTERESTING QUESTIONS. 531 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:56,634 I KIDNAPPED YOUR MOTHER BECAUSE SHE'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, 532 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:59,470 MOST CAPTIVATING, MOST INTELLIGENT WOMAN 533 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,671 I'VE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. 534 00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:03,641 - TELL ME SOMETHING I DIDN'T ALREADY VERY MUCH KNOW. 535 00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,742 - FINE, I WILL! 536 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,612 I DIDN'T KNOW MY MOTHER OR MY FATHER. 537 00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:09,514 I WAS RAISED BY MY AUNT AND UNCLE. 538 00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:10,181 THEY HATED ME. 539 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,450 THEY MADE ME SLEEP IN A TINY CLOSET UNDER THE STAIRS. 540 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:13,918 THEY INSULTED ME AND THEY BELITTLED ME. 541 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:17,788 UNTIL ONE DAY WHEN A GIANT ON A FLYING MOTORCYCLE 542 00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:18,823 SHOWED UP AT ME HOUSE 543 00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,691 AND HE PULLED THE WOOL AWAY FROM MY EYES 544 00:19:20,693 --> 00:19:22,193 AND SHOWED ME THE REAL WORLD! 545 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:24,195 A WORLD WHERE I HAD REAL POWER! 546 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:25,296 ,AND I TOOK THAT POWER, 547 00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,631 AND I DESTROYED THAT EVIL 548 00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:28,633 WHOSE NAME MUST NOT BE SPOKEN. 549 00:19:28,635 --> 00:19:30,001 BUT I SPOKE IT, BOBBY. 550 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,135 AND IT WAS VOLDEMORT. 551 00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:33,271 AND I KILLED HIM IN THE EIGHTH MOVIE. 552 00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:35,740 WHICH WAS THE SECOND HALF OF THE SEVENTH BOOK. 553 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,408 - EAGLEWING, I HAD NO IDEA. 554 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,710 - SO NOW YOU KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT EAGLEWING. 555 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:43,080 - THAT IS THE MOST HORRIBLE STORY I EVER HEARD. 556 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:44,282 I AM SO SORRY. 557 00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:47,518 - OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MS. BOTTLESERVICE. 558 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:48,352 - YOU'RE WELCOME. 559 00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:49,954 - THAT'S THE KIND OF LOVE THAT WAS RIPPED AWAY FROM ME. 560 00:19:49,956 --> 00:19:52,456 - WELL, THAT'S JUST-- THAT'S A HORRIBLE STORY. 561 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:53,291 I'M SO SORRY. 562 00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:55,626 - YOU GOT YOURSELF ONE HELL OF A SON HERE. 563 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:57,495 both: THANK YOU. 564 00:19:57,497 --> 00:19:59,830 - AND AN EVEN BETTER GIGOLO. 565 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:00,898 - I KNOW. 566 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:04,735 BOBBY, WHAT YOU DID, PLOWING YOUR WAY 567 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:07,238 THROUGH THAT WHITE-HOT BACHE-LORETTE PARTY 568 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:10,274 JUST TO SAVE ME, IT WAS SO... 569 00:20:10,276 --> 00:20:11,842 - WHAT? - IT WAS SO... 570 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:15,012 - WHAT? - IT WAS SO ROMANTIC. 571 00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:16,380 - OH, MA. 572 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,316 - IF YOU WEREN'T MY SON. 573 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,284 - IF YOU WEREN'T MY MOTHER. 574 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:21,586 - OH... 575 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,423 - [clears throat] 576 00:20:25,425 --> 00:20:27,291 I'M NOT YOUR SON. HOW ABOUT? 577 00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,392 OH. - I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY. 578 00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:29,660 - WHAT WOULD YOU DO? - I DON'T KNOW. 579 00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:32,763 - I GOT TO START USING MORE TOOTHPICKS. 580 00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:35,099 - THE GIGOLO HOUSE IS A VERITABLE FORTRESS. 581 00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,835 I MEAN, THESE GUYS ARE ROAMING THE PERID-- 582 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:38,469 [groans] 583 00:20:38,471 --> 00:20:40,171 [laughs] YEAH, OUR BLOOPER REEL DOING. 584 00:20:40,173 --> 00:20:41,305 I LIKE TO TAKE THIS SERIOUS, 585 00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,908 BUT WHEN A BLOOPER HAPPENS, THERE'S NO STOPPING THEM. 586 00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,042 - WE JOKE AROUND ON SET. 587 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,377 WE JOKE AROUND ON SET! 588 00:20:46,379 --> 00:20:47,945 - THEN IT'S LIKE AFTER THE MOVIE, 589 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:49,013 IT'S ALL CRACK-UPS, 590 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,748 'CAUSE WE'RE PARTYING ALL DAY ON SET, WHATEVER. 591 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:53,918 PETER, STOP LOOKING IN THE CAMERA, BRO. 592 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,787 - SORRY, SORRY. IT'S ALL THE MOVIE MAGIC. 593 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:59,056 IT'S MAKING ME GO CRAZY. 594 00:20:59,058 --> 00:21:00,091 BLOOPERS! 595 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,827 - HA HA. GOOD AT BUSINESS. 596 00:21:04,062 --> 00:21:05,296 - OW. 597 00:21:08,133 --> 00:21:08,966 - HI, SPENCER. 598 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,534 - BABE, HOW'S IT GOING. 599 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,703 I HEARD THE NEWS. SO DOPE. 600 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:13,938 SO DOPE. 601 00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:17,208 I'M SO HAPPY WE CAN FINALLY bleep] AND BE TOGETHER. 602 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:21,178 [laughter] 603 00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:21,211 - BLOOPERS! 43472

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