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1
00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:11,770
[rock music]
2
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:17,640
♪ ♪
3
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,250
- I'M NASH RICKEY...
4
00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,350
A ROCK AND ROLL LEGEND
WHO LOST HIS TOP 40 VIRGINITY
5
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:26,020
WITH THE SEMI
SMASH HIT L.A. DELI.
6
00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:28,490
♪ L.A. DELI ♪
7
00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:31,990
TODAY I'M GOING TO PICK A FIGHT
WITH A BULLY.
8
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,260
TODAY'S BULLY VICTIM IS
A SWEET 15-YEAR-OLD ANGEL
9
00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,600
BY THE NAME OF DENISE.
10
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,970
LET'S MEET HER.
11
00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,370
- MY NAME IS DENISE.
12
00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:40,970
I'M ABOUT TO
TURN 15 YEARS OLD.
13
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:43,470
ONE OF MY PASSIONS
IN LIFE IS SINGING SONGS.
14
00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:46,970
♪ WILL YOU BE THE FIRST
TO TAKE ME ALL THE WAY? ♪
15
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,810
THERE WAS THIS GIRL, BRITNEY,
16
00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:50,180
AND SHE'S A KARAOKE BULLY
17
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,350
BECAUSE SHE OFTEN STEALS
THE MIC
18
00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:55,280
AND SHE PUSHES IN TOO MANY SONGS
TO THE SYSTEM.
19
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,850
- CAN I PLEASE
HAVE THE MICROPHONE?
20
00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:58,050
CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE IT BACK?
21
00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,850
- I NEED HELP TO TAKE
THE MICROPHONE BACK
22
00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,420
SO THAT I CAN SING
MY OWN SONGS.
23
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,090
- I MET WITH SWEET DENISE
BEFORE HER BIRTHDAY PARTY
24
00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,630
TO FIND OUT MORE
ABOUT HER BULLY.
25
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,190
- WELL, BASICALLY,
I'VE BEEN DEALING
26
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,670
WITH THIS GIRL, BRITNEY,
IN MY CLASS.
27
00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,200
- WATCH OUT, BRITNEY.
28
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,470
I'M COMING FOR YOU.
29
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:16,470
I'M GONNA DECIMATE
THIS GIRL, BRITNEY,
30
00:01:16,470 --> 00:01:17,570
AND LET ME TELL YOU.
31
00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,540
I'M NOT A STRANGER
TO THE FISTS OF A WOMAN.
32
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:22,310
- LISTEN, ALL I WANT TO HAPPEN
IS FOR BRITNEY TO BE TOLD
33
00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,780
THAT SHE CAN'T TAKE
OTHER PEOPLE'S KARAOKE TIME.
34
00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,750
A LOT OF GIRLS IN MY CLASS
ARE HAVING KARAOKE PARTIES.
35
00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:28,920
- AS I LISTENED
TO SWEET DENISE,
36
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,320
I REALIZED THAT THE SHOW
WAS NOT KARATE BULLIES,
37
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,960
BUT INSTEAD, KARAOKE BULLIES,
WHICH WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE
38
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:35,860
WITH MY HISTORY OF SINGING.
39
00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:39,760
- THIS IS NOT KARATE BULLIES,
BECAUSE I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT.
40
00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,360
- THIS IS A KARAOKE BULLY SHOW.
41
00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,800
I THOUGHT THE SHOW
WAS KARATE BULLIES,
42
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,800
AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME
IT'S KARAOKE BULLIES?
43
00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,440
WELL, WELL, WELL,
THE PLANS HAVE CHANGED.
44
00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,600
I WAS DRESSED UP
IN A KARATE OUTFIT.
45
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,770
I WILL NOW DISGUISE MYSELF
AS A TONE-DEAF BUSINESSMAN.
46
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,540
NO ONE WOULD EXPECT
47
00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:57,410
THAT UNDERNEATH THIS SQUARE
BUSINESSMAN SUIT,
48
00:01:57,410 --> 00:02:01,550
LAY NASH RICKEY,
A LION READY TO POUNCE.
49
00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:03,720
HIYA. HIYA.
50
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,620
TO PULL THIS ALL OFF,
51
00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:08,960
I'M GONNA HAVE TO TURN
TO A HIGHER POWER--
52
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,020
MUSIC ITSELF.
53
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,460
[dubstep music]
54
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:22,700
♪ ♪
55
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:30,480
- DO PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU ARE
THE VOICE OF MARCEL THE SHELL?
56
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,880
- [as Marcel the Shell]
I DON'T KNOW.
57
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,580
MAYBE THEY'LL FIGURE IT OUT
ONE OF THESE DAYS.
58
00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,150
- DO YOU HAVE EARS?
59
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,550
- NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
60
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,890
- YOU DON'T LISTEN TO MUSIC?
61
00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:44,120
- NO, I LISTEN
TO A LOT OF MUSIC.
62
00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,660
I LIKE ALL DIFFERENT KINDS--
63
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:50,200
CLASSICAL, CLASSIC ROCK,
ANYTHING WITH A GOOD SPIRIT.
64
00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,570
- WHO ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF?
- I'M MOST SCARED OF THE DOG.
65
00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:56,670
- [laughing]
66
00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:57,500
NICE TO SEE YOU, JENNY.
67
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,110
- [normal voice]
NICE TO SEE YOU TOO.
68
00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:01,910
- AND HERE WE ARE, TALKING
AS TWO REGULAR PEOPLE.
69
00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:03,340
- YEAH, I'M GOOD AT THAT.
- YEAH.
70
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,350
- I DON'T NEED TO
DO VOICES TO RELATE.
71
00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,980
- I DON'T NEED CHARACTERS
TO HIDE BEHIND.
72
00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,480
- ME NEITHER, BRO.
73
00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,350
- THIS IS AN ORIGINAL
74
00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:16,090
1983 MO CHEEKS NBA CHAMPIONSHIP
KEY CHAIN.
75
00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,030
- I'LL GIVE YOU $50 FOR IT.
- YOU A JOKESTER?
76
00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,460
- OOH, BABE,
HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?
77
00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,030
- YOU LOOK AS BEAUTIFUL
AS THE BETSY ROSS BRIDGE
78
00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,830
ALL LIT UP WITH LIGHTNING BUGS.
- I DON'T KNOW.
79
00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,570
YOU DON'T THINK I LOOK LIKE
I'M HANDING OUT SLAP JOBS
80
00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:28,570
UNDER THE OVERPASS NEAR THE
PENN'S LANDING DAVE & BUSTERS?
81
00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:31,810
- NO, YOU LOOK LIKE PRINCESS DI
IN A GOWN BEFORE SHE DIED.
82
00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:33,640
NOT ONLY
AM I AN OWNER/OPERATOR,
83
00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:34,880
BUT I'M ALSO GONNA BE A GROOM.
84
00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,780
SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHEAT
ON THE SLY NOW.
85
00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:47,520
- MURPHY'S BEING SO NICE AND
LETTING ME PICK OUT ANY DRESS
86
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,660
I WANT FROM THE ENTIRE SHOP.
87
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,660
ALSO, AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER,
88
00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,430
HE SAID WE COULD HAVE
A WATER ICE FOUNTAIN.
89
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,230
- I WANT TO GIVE TERESA THE
DREAM WEDDING OF HER DREAMS.
90
00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,400
IT'S GETTING
EXPENSIVE, THOUGH.
91
00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,440
THEM WATER ICE FOUNTAINS
COST UP TO $425.
92
00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:02,940
- $65.
93
00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:05,040
- SAY HI TO BOTH
YOUR AUNT JOANNES FOR ME.
94
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,010
- SAY HI TO YOURS.
95
00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:10,280
- HEY, YO, MURPH, WHY
DON'T YOU GO ON BREAK?
96
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,580
GET A LUNCH OVER
AT WAWA.
97
00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:12,810
YOU KNOW, IT'S HOAGIEFEST.
98
00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,450
- HEY, JOE, WHY DON'T YOU
QUIT CRAWLING UP MY ASS?
99
00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,550
I'M JOKING.
YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF ME.
100
00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:19,950
YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST MAN
AT MY WEDDING?
101
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:20,850
- YES.
102
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,760
I'M GLAD YOU'RE ASKING ME,
'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S--
103
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,590
THE EAGLES GOT NOBODY
PROTECTING THEIR QUARTERBACK,
104
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,160
RIGHT?
105
00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,830
I NEED--I NEED TO HAVE A SMOKE.
106
00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,430
- HEY, WHAT'S UP,
YOUSE JAGOFFS?
107
00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:33,200
IT'S TWO SLICK DICKS
FROM ROUTE 76.
108
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,070
THAT'S THE TURNPIKE.
109
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:35,670
WHAT'S UP, BRO?
WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE?
110
00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:37,070
- YES.
WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE.
111
00:04:37,070 --> 00:04:39,310
I ASKED DON TO BRING BY
SOME STUFF WE COULD PAWN
112
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,580
IN BALTIMORE,
BECAUSE FINANCIALLY SPEAKING,
113
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,440
I'M UNDERWATER.
114
00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,010
- YEAH, MURPH
HASN'T REALLY ASKED ME,
115
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,850
LIKE, OUTRIGHT
TO BE HIS BEST MAN,
116
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:49,080
BUT, LIKE, COME ON,
WHO'S HE GONNA ASK, JOE?
117
00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,150
- YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST MAN
AT MY WEDDING?
118
00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:52,120
- YES.
119
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,090
- THAT'S SO PRETTY.
120
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,190
- THANK YOU.
- CONGRATULATIONS.
121
00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:57,020
- IT'S A DOLPHIN.
[dolphin chittering]
122
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,860
- I LIKE DOLPHINS AS LONG
AS THEY'RE NOWHERE NEAR MIAMI.
123
00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:00,690
[laughter]
124
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,130
EVEN THOUGH DAN MARINO
WENT TO CENTRAL CATHOLIC--
125
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:03,860
NOT BAD.
126
00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,300
THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.
WHERE'S THE BLOWHOLE?
127
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,600
- I HOPE WE SEE SOME OF THESE
DOLPHINS DOWN OCEAN CITY.
128
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,700
- YEAH, GO DOWN TO MARYLAND
AND GET SOME CRABS.
129
00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,770
- DUDE, I'M TORQUED.
130
00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,680
- MARYLAND IS HUMID
AS BALLS, MAN.
131
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,450
I FEEL LIKE
I'M IN POLAMALU'S HOMELAND.
132
00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:22,550
- SO WE WERE MEETING
WITH OUR COUSIN,
133
00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:25,350
DANNY'S BROTHER-IN-LAW,
PAUL, AND HIS FRIEND NEIL,
134
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:26,020
AND THESE ARE
135
00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:29,320
A COUPLE BIG-TIME BALTIMORE
PAWNSHOP OWNER/OPERATORS.
136
00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,890
I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS
'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW
137
00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:32,860
HOW THEY DO BUSINESS DOWN
HERE IN MARYLAND.
138
00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:34,760
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
DOWN TO BUSINESS HERE.
139
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,530
WHERE DO YOU WANT US
TO LAY THE PRODUCT?
140
00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:38,800
- RIGHT ON THE PAVEMENT.
141
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,800
- THAT'S HOW WE DO
BUSINESS DOWN HERE.
142
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,440
- FIRST UP,
BALTIMORE FILMMAKER
143
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,170
JOHN WATERS SIGNED POSTER.
144
00:05:48,810 --> 00:05:49,580
- OKAY.
145
00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,650
- SECOND UP, EDGAR ALLEN POE,
FEET OF A CROW
146
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,020
- HE WROTE MOST
OF HIS GOOD STUFF IN PHILLY.
147
00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:57,950
- HE WROTE HIS SPOOKIEST STUFF
IN BALTIMORE.
148
00:05:57,950 --> 00:05:59,590
- YEAH, 'CAUSE THE CITY'S
A NIGHTMARE.
149
00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:00,620
- HE'S FROM ENGLAND.
150
00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:01,890
BIG BEN KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS.
151
00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,020
- I'M WACKO FOR FLACCO.
152
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,060
- FLACCO'S A JACKHOLE.
- [bleep] OFF.
153
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:05,860
- SPEAKING OF THE RAVENS,
154
00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:08,060
WE GOT AN AUTOGRAPHED
RAY LEWIS FINGERPRINT.
155
00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:10,130
[siren wailing]
- NOTED THUG.
156
00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:14,670
- WHAT IF I GAVE $330?
- O...KAY.
157
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:15,540
- ALL RIGHT.
158
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:18,110
- OR I CAN GIVE YOU
159
00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:22,510
SOME HONUS WAGNER
PRE-OWNED COLOGNE.
160
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,480
- WHOA. HONUS WAGNER
PRE-OWNED COLOGNE?
161
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,050
THAT'S WORTH ITS WEIGHT
IN GOLD BACK IN THE 'BURGH, BRO.
162
00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:30,820
I COULD GET, LIKE, $650
FOR THAT AT THE STORE.
163
00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:32,420
- HOW ABOUT YOU SHOW ME
SOME COUSINLY LOVE.
164
00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,060
I COULD REALLY USE THAT CASH
FOR THAT WATER ICE FOUNTAIN.
165
00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,520
- ALL RIGHT, THEN.
IT'S YOUR WEDDING.
166
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,290
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
167
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:45,030
- YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.
- FINALLY IT'S OFFICIAL.
168
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:51,710
- DEAL.
- ♪ YOU DID IT ♪
169
00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:52,940
- MY NAME IS GABE LIEDMAN,
170
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:55,340
AND I'M FROM PHILADELPHIA,
PENNSYLVANIA.
171
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,740
I'M THE ONLY PITTSBURGHER.
172
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,980
I'M FROM ABINGTON, PENNSYLVANIA.
173
00:06:57,980 --> 00:06:59,610
I'M FROM PHILADELPHIA,
PENNSYLVANIA,
174
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,080
BUT I LIVED IN PITTSBURGH
FOR FIVE YEARS.
175
00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,120
- DO YOU THINK
THEY'LL EVER MAKE POT LEGAL
176
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,050
IN PENNSYLVANIA?
- NO.
177
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,960
- NOT IF ANYONE WHO LIVES IN
PENNSYLVANIA HAS TO DO WITH IT.
178
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:09,990
THE POT THERE IS SHIT.
179
00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,890
- YEAH.
WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR DIRT WEED?
180
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,690
- YEAH, MAN.
- WHEN I GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS,
181
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,930
I WANT TO SMOKE THAT KUSH.
182
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:17,430
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT
WEED SMELLS LIKE, PENNSYLVANIA?
183
00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:18,570
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU HAVE THERE.
184
00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:20,200
- YEAH, WHAT IS IT--
WHAT DO PEOPLE--
185
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,100
WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE
OVER THERE?
186
00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,770
- CHICKEN NUGGETS.
187
00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,440
- MAUREEN, YOU'RE LATE.
188
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,510
- NO KIDDING, LARRY.
189
00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,110
I'VE BEEN PREGGO
FOR THREE MONTHS HERE.
190
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,520
- LARRY BIRD, IT'S BEGUILING
TO ME WHY YOU STILL DEIGN
191
00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,590
TO TEND BAR AT THIS TAVERN
OF TEARAWAYS.
192
00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,490
YOU'RE ONE OF BOSTON'S
BIGGEST SPORTS STARS.
193
00:07:41,490 --> 00:07:44,690
WHY, YOU MAKE BOBBY ORR
LOOK LIKE RAY BOURQUE.
194
00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,630
- IT'S INTERESTING YOU SAY THAT,
KELSEY GRAMMER.
195
00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:49,730
THEY WON'T LET ME INTO THE
BOSTON GARDEN TILL 5:00 P.M.
196
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,730
THAT LEAVES ME
WITH NINE FREE HOURS.
197
00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:55,670
PLUS, ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE
THESE COUNTERS NEED CLEANING.
198
00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:59,070
AIN'T THAT RIGHT,
FROZEN HEAD OF TED WILLIAMS?
199
00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,640
- WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING
INTERESTING
200
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,210
YOU MIGHT NOT
KNOW THERE, LARRY.
201
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,540
YOU KNOW THE FOLKS OVER THERE
AT ALCOR
202
00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,180
WHO PUT MY HEAD HERE INTO...
203
00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:10,020
all: CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN
SUSPENDED ANIMATION.
204
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:13,720
- YEAH, WELL, THEY ALSO MAKE
SOME DYNAMITE CLEANING PRODUCTS.
205
00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:17,520
- IS LARRY BIRD HERE?
206
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:18,460
- LOOK WHO IT IS, LARRY--
207
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:22,200
YOUR FRIEND AND TEAMMATE
BILL WALTON.
208
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,200
- WHAT'S UP, BILL?
209
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,830
- IF I'M AROUND,
PLENTY OF SMOKE.
210
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:32,740
- ♪ I WANNA GO
WHERE NOBODY KNOWS MY FACE ♪
211
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:39,380
♪ WHERE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE
AND NOBODY GRABS YOUR SPACE ♪
212
00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:42,450
♪ I WANNA GO
WHERE PEOPLE DON'T CARE ♪
213
00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:44,920
♪ WHETHER OR NOT I'M THERE ♪
214
00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:50,590
♪ ALL I NEED IS A DRINK
AND A CHAIR ♪
215
00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:53,660
- SO CAN I GET YOU A DRINK?
216
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:57,130
- OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M GOOD.
217
00:08:57,130 --> 00:09:01,070
- I THOUGHT I SMELLED
A FUNKY CIGARETTE.
218
00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:03,100
- I LOVE ALL YOUR SHOWS, MAN.
- THANK YOU.
219
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,440
YES, FRASIER WAS A REAL
WATERSHED MOMENT FOR ME,
220
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,940
AND BY THE END, I WAS MAKING
$400,000 PER EPISODE.
221
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,110
OF COURSE,
I TOOK A PAY CUT FOR BOSS,
222
00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,710
AS I DEEMED IT
AN ARTISTIC CHALLENGE.
223
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,120
AND THIS IS ALL
IN THE FUTURE.
224
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,050
- YOU KNOW, IF YOU
DON'T WANT TO DRINK,
225
00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:19,090
THEN WHY DID YOU COME HERE?
226
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:20,250
DO YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE GAME?
227
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,020
ALTHOUGH I'D PREFER
TO DRIVE ON MY OWN.
228
00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,420
IT'S THE ONLY TIME
I GET ALONE.
229
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,230
- NO, NO, I DON'T NEED
A RIDE ANYWHERE, MAN.
230
00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:27,260
I QUIT THE TEAM.
231
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:30,160
I'M SICK OF RED AUERBACH'S
BULL[bleep], MAN.
232
00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,670
- HOW'S COME?
- WELL, HE ASKED ME
233
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:34,530
TO SHAVE MY BEARD,
AND I SAID NO,
234
00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,240
'CAUSE I GOT NO CHIN, BRO.
235
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:40,470
- NO CHIN?
- I GOT NO BODY.
236
00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,010
- CAN I WORK HERE AT CHAIRS?
237
00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:43,940
- THE ANSWER
TO THAT QUESTION IS NO,
238
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,850
BECAUSE YOU DO NEED A LICENSE
TO TEND BAR HERE.
239
00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:49,120
- WELL, BILL, I CAN HELP YOU
PASS THE MASSACHUSETTS BAR EXAM.
240
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,650
- MM-MM, NOT RIGHT NOW
YOU CAN'T, SACK OF SAND.
241
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,120
IT'S HAPPY HOUR.
- HAPPY HOUR?
242
00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,360
LIKE, WHEN I GET TO SHOOT
BASKETS IN AN EMPTY GYM?
243
00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,090
- NO, THE TIME
WHEN YOU ZIP YOUR LIP,
244
00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:01,600
AND START TO POUR
THOSE [bleep] SUDS.
245
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,160
- ALL RIGHT, MAUREEN.
246
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:06,600
- THE ACTING ON CHEERS
IS SO, SO, SO GOOD,
247
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,270
BUT ONCE
YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH IT
248
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:10,840
AND YOU WATCH ALL, WHATEVER,
TEN SEASONS OF CHEERS,
249
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,940
YOU CAN SEE THE CRACKS
IN THEIR ACTING.
250
00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:15,940
WHERE IT REALLY COMES IN IS
WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT
251
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,940
WHERE CARLA JUST, YOU KNOW,
TAKES A CRAP
252
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,150
ON FRASIER OR WHATEVER,
SAYS SOME ZINGER,
253
00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:22,850
AND THEN FRASIER'S
JUST KIND OF LIKE...
254
00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:23,980
- [laughs]
255
00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:24,680
- YEAH, HE'S LIKE,
256
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,950
"I'M WAITING FOR
THE INVISIBLE PEOPLE TO LAUGH."
257
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,190
[heavy metal music]
258
00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:31,160
♪ ♪
259
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,360
- DENISE'S BIRTHDAY
IS IN FULL SWING,
260
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,700
BUT IT IS ALSO UNDER ATTACK
261
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:40,530
BY A 15-YEAR-OLD BULLY
NAMED BRITNEY.
262
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,240
- OH, I'M DENISE.
263
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:47,270
I'M JUST DENISE, OBVIOUSLY,
BUT, UM...
264
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,310
SO THERE' S THAT.
265
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,440
SECONDLY, I'D LIKE
TO SAY THANK YOU.
266
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,850
PLEASE OBEY THE LIST.
267
00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:55,520
- MY DISGUISE
IS ALMOST COMPLETE.
268
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,020
BRITNEY HAS NO IDEA THAT
SHE'S ABOUT TO GET HER FACE
269
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:02,360
MELTED OFF WITH AN INSANE
KARAOKE VERSION OF L.A. DELI.
270
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,260
♪ L.A. DELI ♪
271
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,630
- SUNG BY NONE OTHER
THAN NASH RICKEY.
272
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:10,460
- ♪ SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME
DO MY THING ♪
273
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:15,700
♪ SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME ♪
- ♪ MOVE AROUND ♪
274
00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,170
♪ SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME
DO MY THING ♪
275
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,770
- A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE
TO SEE ME MOVE AROUND,
276
00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,940
AND I CHOSE THE SONG.
277
00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:23,310
CAN I SING?
278
00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:24,340
BRITNEY, CAN I SING IT, PLEASE?
279
00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,750
- I MUST PROTECT
MY SWEET LITTLE DENISE,
280
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,920
AND AS I SLURP BRITNEY UP...
281
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,050
[slurping]
282
00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:33,190
I CAN TASTE HER BLOOD NOW.
283
00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:35,790
AAH!
284
00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,930
I DID NOT ANTICIPATE
THAT A GROWN MAN
285
00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:43,800
DRESSED IN A BUSINESS SUIT
AT A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY
286
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,570
WOULD STICK OUT
LIKE A SORE THUMB,
287
00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,200
WHICH I'M
ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH
288
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,270
AFTER AN INJURY I SUSTAINED
289
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:52,170
TRYING TO IMPRESS
A THAI BOY/GIRL...
290
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,440
MANY YEARS AGO.
291
00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,710
- CUT THE SONG.
CUT THE SONG. CUT THE SONG.
292
00:11:55,710 --> 00:12:00,210
BRITNEY, THIS ONE IS DEDICATED
TO YOU FROM DENISE
293
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:05,620
BECAUSE THIS KARAOKE BULLY
IS ABOUT TO BE HUMBLED.
294
00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:08,120
♪ L.A. DELI ♪
295
00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:12,430
♪ WHERE THE AFTER-PARTY'S
RAGING IN MY L.A. TOWN ♪
296
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,630
- I DON'T LIKE ROCK MUSIC.
I THINK IT'S PRETTY SCARY.
297
00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:17,600
I GET SCARED
OF ALL THOSE ROCK PEOPLE.
298
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,700
[rock music]
299
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:23,000
♪ ♪
300
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,270
- YOU'VE JUST BEEN
KARAOKE-BULLIED.
301
00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:27,010
- WHAT?
302
00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:30,640
- I AM NONE OTHER THAN
ROCK LEGEND NASH RICKEY.
303
00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,110
- NASH?
304
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,380
- HELEN?
305
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:36,320
IS THIS YOUR DAUGHTER?
- YEAH.
306
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:40,450
- BRITNEY, I'M YOUR FATHER.
307
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,220
- MOM?
308
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,690
- I NEVER IMAGINED I WOULD RUN
INTO MY ILLEGITIMATE,
309
00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:44,760
LONG-LOST DAUGHTER, BRITNEY,
310
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,890
LET ALONE SHAME HER
AND BULLY HER IN PUBLIC.
311
00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,330
- I THOUGHT
I'D FEEL REALLY GOOD
312
00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:50,600
WHEN BRITNEY GOT
HER COMEUPPANCE,
313
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,500
BUT I ACTUALLY FELT
KIND OF BAD.
314
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,170
SHE GOT EMBARRASSED,
315
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:59,970
AND SHE FOUND OUT THAT HER DAD
IS RUCKY NOSHY.
316
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,440
- I MEAN,
YOU JUST ATTACKED...
317
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,740
- BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP
WITH MY DAUGHTER
318
00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,010
WILL TAKE TIME AND TRUST--
319
00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,750
TWO THINGS
THAT ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY.
320
00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:12,020
- ♪ OTTA WANNA, OTTA WANNA,
OTTA WANNA GO TO BED ♪
321
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:16,490
♪ I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANT,
I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED ♪
322
00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:25,060
[gunshot]
323
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:26,170
- SO WE'RE DOING
OUR REHEARSAL DINNER
324
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:29,900
AT PROBABLY THE FINEST
CRAB SHACK IN ALL OF OCEAN CITY.
325
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,010
WE'RE DEFINITELY GONNA HAVE
SOME DRINKS,
326
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,670
MAYBE DO A LITTLE KARAOKE.
327
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,670
- WHO'S THIS JOKESTER, MURPH?
328
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,480
- THAT'S ONE OF MY OLD BUDDIES
FROM VOCATIONAL SCHOOL.
329
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,710
- I HOPE YOU WORE
YOUR DANCING SHOES.
330
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,020
- I WAS HOPING TO WRITE
MY SPEECH IN THE CAR RIDE DOWN,
331
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:45,920
BUT MURPH FORGOT ABOUT ME,
AND I HAD TO DRIVE MYSELF.
332
00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,350
- HEY.
333
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,090
TALK.
- TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK.
334
00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:52,330
- I'M NOT MUCH IN EMOTION,
SO I'M GONNA KEEP THIS BRIEF.
335
00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,860
TERESA, WHAT CAN I SAY?
336
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,900
YOU KNOW,
YOU LOOK GOOD AS [bleep].
337
00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,770
- DUDE, THAT SPEECH
WAS GOOD AS HELL.
338
00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:00,630
- THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.
339
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440
- I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON THAT SPEECH FOR TWO YEARS.
340
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,570
- THAT DIRT
CAN BE REALLY CUTE SOMETIMES.
341
00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:09,480
- AND NOW TIME FOR A SPEECH
FROM MY BEST MAN...
342
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,280
JOE FROM WORK.
343
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,280
- I'D START MY SPEECH
WITH A JOKE,
344
00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,150
BUT I DON'T HAVE ONE.
345
00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:18,020
WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY DEFINES
THE WORD "WEDDING"
346
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,850
AS A MARRIAGE CEREMONY.
347
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,660
WEBSTER'S DEFINES "CEREMONY"
AS A FORMAL--
348
00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:24,090
- ALL RIGHT, NO MORE!
349
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,990
DUDE, YOU JUST TOLD ME
I WAS YOUR BEST MAN.
350
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,600
- YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.
351
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,900
- HOW ABOUT YOU
KEEP YOUR PROMISES, ALL RIGHT?
352
00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,770
- I SAID YOU WERE
THE BEST, MAN.
353
00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,940
YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.
354
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:39,110
- THAT 650 BUCKS COULD'VE BOUGHT
DON JR. A MINI BIKE.
355
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,310
- DON, WHY YOU FREAKING OUT?
356
00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:41,740
- YOU SAID,
"YOU'RE THE BEST MAN."
357
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:44,180
- YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.
358
00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:46,950
DON, I SAID,
"YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN"
359
00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:49,350
YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN."
360
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,350
- YEAH, YOU SAID
I WAS THE BEST MAN.
361
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,520
- YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN.
362
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,890
- OH, MY GOD!
363
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,890
- HEY, DON, WHY
DON'T YOU CHILL OUT, OKAY?
364
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,830
YOU'RE MAKING MY BRIDE UPSET.
365
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:03,960
SHE'S GONNA LOSE
ONE OF HER EYELASHES.
366
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,110
- THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT
PARTS TO A WEDDING.
367
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:16,210
HINES WARD, POLAMALU, AND YOU
GOT YOURSELF ROETHLISBERGER.
368
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:17,380
- HE'S A RAPIST.
- HE'S A RAPIST.
369
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:19,250
AND HE'S AN EFFECTIVE
QUARTERBACK IN THE POCKET.
370
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,610
- YOU'RE MY HINES WARD,
DON, OKAY?
371
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,680
THAT'S WHY I NEED YOU
TO BE MY RING BEARER.
372
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,880
- OH, I'M THE RING BEARER?
373
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,320
OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
374
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,890
IT'S A JOB
FOR AN OVERWEIGHT CHILD.
375
00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:29,920
WHAT AM I, FRODO BAGGINS?
376
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,490
- YOU GOT THE FACIAL HAIR
TO MATCH.
377
00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:33,790
- YEAH, WELL, TALKING
ABOUT HOBBITS,
378
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,460
THEY DON'T HAVE
MUCH FACIAL HAIR, DO THEY?
379
00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:39,030
THEY GOT FOOT HAIR.
- HEY, JOE, A-PLUS SPEECH.
380
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:40,330
- SERIOUSLY?
- NO.
381
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,470
- SO I HEARD MURPH AND TERESA
382
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,640
GOT SOME KARAOKE PLANNED
FOR LATER.
383
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,570
I'M GONNA RUIN IT.
384
00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:47,210
- TONIGHT ONE
OF THESE JAGOFFS DIES.
385
00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:50,440
- OH, YEAH, DONNIE,
WE'LL BRING THEM DOWN.
386
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,050
- WE'LL GET UP ON STAGE
AND INTERRUPT THEM.
387
00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:55,080
- YOU ARE A COMEDIAN.
HOW DO YOU LIKE PUBLIC SPEAKING?
388
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,220
- UH, NOT A BIG FAN OF IT.
389
00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:58,790
- [laughs]
390
00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:02,290
- I MEAN, HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT
SPEAKING TO ANYBODY AT ANY TIME?
391
00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,560
I WOULD DO WITHOUT IT
IF I COULD.
392
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,590
- DID YOU WATCH CHEERS,
GROWING UP, A LOT?
393
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,460
- OH, YEAH, YEAH.
394
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:07,760
- YOU'RE WATCHING CHEERS
RIGHT NOW.
395
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,600
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
THE DAY WE SHOT THAT SKETCH,
396
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,760
AND EVERYBODY WAS LIKE,
"ARE YOU OKAY
397
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,770
TRAPPED IN THAT LITTLE BOX,
IN THAT LITTLE JAR?"
398
00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:14,630
I WAS LIKE,
"YEAH, MAN, I'M FINE.
399
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,670
THIS IS GREAT FOR ME."
400
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,640
- THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE.
- I JUST SAT IN A JAR.
401
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,040
ANDREW ASKED ME IF I WANTED
WATER ONCE IN A WHILE.
402
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:24,340
MAYBE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE,
A TURTLE OR SOMETHING.
403
00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:28,580
- OKAY, BILL, LET'S TRY THIS
ONE MORE TIME.
404
00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:32,220
HOW OFTEN DO YOU GIVE
A NEW CUSTOMER A DRY NAPKIN?
405
00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,150
- OH, I DON'T KNOW, LARRY.
406
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,720
MY BRAIN IS FRIED
AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF FRIED.
407
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,560
- WELL, WHY NOT RIP TICKETS
AT SYMPHONY HALL?
408
00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,690
I'M SURE THE STRINGS OF THE POPS
409
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:44,400
WILL BE PREFERABLE
TO THE QUIPS OF THE MAUREENS.
410
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,570
- HEY, WHY DON'T YOU WATCH
YOUR MOUTH, KELSEY GRAMMER?
411
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,200
OTHERWISE, WE'RE GONNA BE
HEARING SOME POPS IN HERE--
412
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,840
THE SOUND OF THE POPS WHEN
I POP YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FACE.
413
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,740
- YEAH, HELLO.
I'M THE PROCTOR
414
00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:55,510
FOR THE MASSACHUSETTS STATE
BARTENDING EXAM.
415
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:57,680
- OW, MY BACK.
- OW, MY FEET.
416
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,680
- TO A MR. BILL WALTON.
417
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,450
- WHAT BOSTONIAN DOESN'T KNOW
WHO BILL WALTON IS?
418
00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:06,590
COME ON.
- I'M A BRUINS FAN.
419
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:09,020
- LARRY, YOU GOT TO PRETEND
TO BE ME, BRO.
420
00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,090
YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS.
421
00:17:10,090 --> 00:17:11,790
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
I'LL PASS THE EXAM.
422
00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:14,230
- BUT, BILL, I THOUGHT
I WAS JUST HELPING YOU OUT
423
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:15,030
WITH AN ASSIST.
424
00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:16,500
COME ON, LARRY, STOP USING
BASKETBALL TERMS
425
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,830
AS THE ONLY WAY THAT YOU KNOW
HOW TO RELATE TO PEOPLE.
426
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:19,830
THERE'S GOT TO BE OTHER WAYS,
427
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,270
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALONE
IN THIS UNIVERSE.
428
00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:23,170
YOU GOT TO MAKE FRIENDS.
- IS HE HERE OR WHAT?
429
00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:25,340
I ACTUALLY GOT BRUINS TICKETS
FOR TONIGHT.
430
00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:26,770
- HE'S RIGHT HERE.
- YES.
431
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,470
- RIGHT HERE,
STANDING NEXT TO ME.
432
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,440
I'M LARRY BIRD.
- OH, [bleep] YOU, LARRY.
433
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,280
WHAT THE [bleep]?
YOU [bleep] ME. [bleep].
434
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,510
- BILL, THERE'S ONE THING
YOU GOT TO KNOW ABOUT ME.
435
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,720
I'M VICIOUSLY COMPETITIVE.
436
00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,650
- I GUESS SOME THINGS
NEVER CHANGE.
437
00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:40,820
I DO NOT LIKE
GETTING TESTED...
438
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:44,920
ON ACCOUNT
OF MY RAMPANT DRUG USE.
439
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:50,900
- GO-TO KARAOKE SONG?
- OH, GO TO WHERE?
440
00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,470
- WHAT'S YOUR
GO-TO KARAOKE SONG?
441
00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:53,500
- OH, WHAT IS MY GO-TO?
442
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,940
I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING
FROM THE LION KING.
443
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:56,970
- SO WHAT'S THAT SONG ABOUT?
444
00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:59,370
- IT'S ABOUT HOW HE'S GONNA BE
A MIGHTY KING,
445
00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,410
SO ENEMIES SHOULD BEWARE
446
00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:02,180
AND OTHER THINGS,
447
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,640
LIKE KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE
FROM LITTLE HORNBILLS,
448
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,480
LIKE, FOR A START,
449
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,550
AND NOT, LIKE--
NOBODY WOULD BE LIKE, "DO THIS."
450
00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:10,150
NOBODY WOULD SAY, "BE THERE,"
OR, "STOP THAT," OR, "SEE HERE."
451
00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:13,220
- IT SOUNDS LIKE
A HUBRIS-FILLED FANTASY SONG.
452
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:14,920
- YEAH,
IT'S ABOUT A YOUNG PRINCE
453
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,690
WHO CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING.
454
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:21,030
[horn honks]
455
00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,030
- I'LL DO IT MYSELF.
I'VE GOT IT.
456
00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:25,030
EARLIER THIS EVENING,
I GOT A CALL ABOUT BAD BLOOD
457
00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,700
AT A KARAOKE REHEARSAL DINNER.
458
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,470
- AS MURPH'S BEST MAN,
I GOT TO WATCH HIS BACK.
459
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:32,940
SO I PREEMPTIVELY CALLED
THE KARAOKE-BULLY HOTLINE.
460
00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:33,670
- TO FULLY BLEND IN
461
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,180
SO THAT I COULD AMBUSH
THE KARAOKE BULLY,
462
00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:39,150
I NEEDED TO GET
INTO A DISGUISE.
463
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,210
TATTERED ROBES,
CROWN OF THORNS--
464
00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:44,980
IF IT MAKES ME LOOK
LIKE JESUS CHRIST, SO BE IT.
465
00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:49,220
THERE YOU GO.
466
00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:52,330
[rock music]
467
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:55,060
♪ ♪
468
00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:58,630
[all singing indistinctly]
469
00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:04,840
♪ BABY, DON'T YOU WANNA
GRAB SOME TASTYKAKES ♪
470
00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,770
♪ LOAD UP THE CAMPER AND GO ♪
471
00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:12,750
♪ WE'RE GOING UP
TO THE POCONOS ♪
472
00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:14,680
- YEAH.
- WHOO!
473
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,480
- THERE SEEMS TO BE
A KARAOKE PARTY
474
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,550
WHERE THE CAMARADERIE
IS RUNNING FREE.
475
00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,390
I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER,
476
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:22,190
AM I BEING PRANKED LIKE JESUS
WAS PRANKED BY THE ROMANS
477
00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:23,020
AT BETHLEHEM?
478
00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,890
WILL THE BULLY
EVER SHOW HIS FACE?
479
00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:27,690
all: ♪ DELAWARE
TO CHESAPEAKE BAY ♪
480
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,000
- ♪ OOH, BOP BOP,
DOO WOP WOP ♪
481
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,330
all: ♪ BUT FOR ME, PARADISE
IS JUST A QUARTER OF THE PRICE ♪
482
00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:39,470
♪ IT'S JUST
AN HOUR-AND-A-HALF DRIVE AWAY ♪
483
00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,510
- ♪ A-A-A-Y ♪
484
00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:44,180
- AH, YES, THE BULLY
SHOWS HIS COWARDLY FACE.
485
00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:47,450
- ♪ YOU'RE MOVING
WAY TOO SLOW ♪
486
00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:51,580
♪ COMING DOWN TO THE POCONOS ♪
487
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:53,620
HEY!
THAT'S RIGHT.
488
00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:54,920
I'M TAKING OVER THIS [bleep].
489
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,090
NOBODY'S ALLOWED
ONSTAGE ANYMORE.
490
00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:59,530
[rock music]
491
00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:02,860
[sad music, Teresa crying]
492
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,400
♪ ♪
493
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,400
- I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO RESURRECT L.A. DELI
494
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,700
AND TAKE THIS BULLY DOWN.
495
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,410
LET'S GO.
496
00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:15,640
- WHOA, DUDE, WHAT'S UP?
497
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:20,110
- ♪ WHEN THE PARTY'S BREAKIN' UP
AND THE DOORS ARE CLOSING DOWN ♪
498
00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:24,820
♪ AND THE CITY OF ANGELS
SLEEPS ♪
499
00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:27,520
♪ L.A. DELI ♪
500
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:32,090
♪ WHERE THE AFTER-PARTY'S
RAGING IN MY L.A. TOWN ♪
501
00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:34,890
- I GUESS THIS BULLY
WAS TOO STRONG.
502
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,000
I WAS AMBUSHED, BUT THAT
OFTENTIMES HAPPEN TO HEROES--
503
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,070
HEROES AND MARTYRS.
504
00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,340
- ♪ GONNA RIDE
THAT WINGED BEAUTY ♪
505
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:46,340
- DUDE, ALL CREDIT
WHERE CREDIT'S DUE.
506
00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:47,070
YOU ROCKED THAT, DUDE.
507
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,040
- THANKS, DUDE.
- WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE?
508
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:49,980
- WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE.
509
00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,210
- LET'S GET BLACKOUT DRUNK.
- LET'S DO IT!
510
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,610
- LET'S DO THIS!
511
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:56,980
[all cheering]
512
00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:00,720
- WHERE'S THE PRODUCER?
THERE ARE NO KEYS IN THE CAR.
513
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,820
[rock music]
514
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,090
♪ ♪
515
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:08,390
- HA HA.
GOOD AT BIZNESS.
516
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:13,070
- OW.
517
00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:17,400
- OKAY, NOW TO KICK IT OFF,
IT'S DENISE, WITH--
518
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,740
OH, DARN IT.
519
00:21:19,740 --> 00:21:23,080
♪ COULD YOU BE THE FIRST
TO TAKE ME ALL THE WAY? ♪
520
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:23,110
♪ I AIN'T WITH A BOY NO MORE,
I'VE THROWN MY CARES AWAY ♪
39267
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