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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:11,770 [rock music] 2 00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:17,640 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,250 - I'M NASH RICKEY... 4 00:00:19,250 --> 00:00:22,350 A ROCK AND ROLL LEGEND WHO LOST HIS TOP 40 VIRGINITY 5 00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:26,020 WITH THE SEMI SMASH HIT L.A. DELI. 6 00:00:26,020 --> 00:00:28,490 ♪ L.A. DELI ♪ 7 00:00:28,490 --> 00:00:31,990 TODAY I'M GOING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH A BULLY. 8 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,260 TODAY'S BULLY VICTIM IS A SWEET 15-YEAR-OLD ANGEL 9 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:36,600 BY THE NAME OF DENISE. 10 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,970 LET'S MEET HER. 11 00:00:37,970 --> 00:00:39,370 - MY NAME IS DENISE. 12 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:40,970 I'M ABOUT TO TURN 15 YEARS OLD. 13 00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:43,470 ONE OF MY PASSIONS IN LIFE IS SINGING SONGS. 14 00:00:43,470 --> 00:00:46,970 ♪ WILL YOU BE THE FIRST TO TAKE ME ALL THE WAY? ♪ 15 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,810 THERE WAS THIS GIRL, BRITNEY, 16 00:00:48,810 --> 00:00:50,180 AND SHE'S A KARAOKE BULLY 17 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,350 BECAUSE SHE OFTEN STEALS THE MIC 18 00:00:52,350 --> 00:00:55,280 AND SHE PUSHES IN TOO MANY SONGS TO THE SYSTEM. 19 00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,850 - CAN I PLEASE HAVE THE MICROPHONE? 20 00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:58,050 CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE IT BACK? 21 00:00:58,050 --> 00:00:59,850 - I NEED HELP TO TAKE THE MICROPHONE BACK 22 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,420 SO THAT I CAN SING MY OWN SONGS. 23 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:04,090 - I MET WITH SWEET DENISE BEFORE HER BIRTHDAY PARTY 24 00:01:04,090 --> 00:01:05,630 TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT HER BULLY. 25 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,190 - WELL, BASICALLY, I'VE BEEN DEALING 26 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,670 WITH THIS GIRL, BRITNEY, IN MY CLASS. 27 00:01:11,670 --> 00:01:13,200 - WATCH OUT, BRITNEY. 28 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,470 I'M COMING FOR YOU. 29 00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:16,470 I'M GONNA DECIMATE THIS GIRL, BRITNEY, 30 00:01:16,470 --> 00:01:17,570 AND LET ME TELL YOU. 31 00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,540 I'M NOT A STRANGER TO THE FISTS OF A WOMAN. 32 00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:22,310 - LISTEN, ALL I WANT TO HAPPEN IS FOR BRITNEY TO BE TOLD 33 00:01:22,310 --> 00:01:24,780 THAT SHE CAN'T TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S KARAOKE TIME. 34 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:27,750 A LOT OF GIRLS IN MY CLASS ARE HAVING KARAOKE PARTIES. 35 00:01:27,750 --> 00:01:28,920 - AS I LISTENED TO SWEET DENISE, 36 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:31,320 I REALIZED THAT THE SHOW WAS NOT KARATE BULLIES, 37 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,960 BUT INSTEAD, KARAOKE BULLIES, WHICH WOULD MAKE MORE SENSE 38 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:35,860 WITH MY HISTORY OF SINGING. 39 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:39,760 - THIS IS NOT KARATE BULLIES, BECAUSE I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT. 40 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:41,360 - THIS IS A KARAOKE BULLY SHOW. 41 00:01:41,360 --> 00:01:42,800 I THOUGHT THE SHOW WAS KARATE BULLIES, 42 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,800 AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME IT'S KARAOKE BULLIES? 43 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:48,440 WELL, WELL, WELL, THE PLANS HAVE CHANGED. 44 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,600 I WAS DRESSED UP IN A KARATE OUTFIT. 45 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,770 I WILL NOW DISGUISE MYSELF AS A TONE-DEAF BUSINESSMAN. 46 00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:54,540 NO ONE WOULD EXPECT 47 00:01:54,540 --> 00:01:57,410 THAT UNDERNEATH THIS SQUARE BUSINESSMAN SUIT, 48 00:01:57,410 --> 00:02:01,550 LAY NASH RICKEY, A LION READY TO POUNCE. 49 00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:03,720 HIYA. HIYA. 50 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,620 TO PULL THIS ALL OFF, 51 00:02:04,620 --> 00:02:08,960 I'M GONNA HAVE TO TURN TO A HIGHER POWER-- 52 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,020 MUSIC ITSELF. 53 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,460 [dubstep music] 54 00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:22,700 ♪ ♪ 55 00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:30,480 - DO PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE VOICE OF MARCEL THE SHELL? 56 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,880 - [as Marcel the Shell] I DON'T KNOW. 57 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,580 MAYBE THEY'LL FIGURE IT OUT ONE OF THESE DAYS. 58 00:02:37,590 --> 00:02:39,150 - DO YOU HAVE EARS? 59 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,550 - NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. 60 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:41,890 - YOU DON'T LISTEN TO MUSIC? 61 00:02:41,890 --> 00:02:44,120 - NO, I LISTEN TO A LOT OF MUSIC. 62 00:02:44,130 --> 00:02:45,660 I LIKE ALL DIFFERENT KINDS-- 63 00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:50,200 CLASSICAL, CLASSIC ROCK, ANYTHING WITH A GOOD SPIRIT. 64 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:53,570 - WHO ARE YOU MOST SCARED OF? - I'M MOST SCARED OF THE DOG. 65 00:02:53,570 --> 00:02:56,670 - [laughing] 66 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:57,500 NICE TO SEE YOU, JENNY. 67 00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,110 - [normal voice] NICE TO SEE YOU TOO. 68 00:02:59,110 --> 00:03:01,910 - AND HERE WE ARE, TALKING AS TWO REGULAR PEOPLE. 69 00:03:01,910 --> 00:03:03,340 - YEAH, I'M GOOD AT THAT. - YEAH. 70 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:06,350 - I DON'T NEED TO DO VOICES TO RELATE. 71 00:03:06,350 --> 00:03:08,980 - I DON'T NEED CHARACTERS TO HIDE BEHIND. 72 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,480 - ME NEITHER, BRO. 73 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:12,350 - THIS IS AN ORIGINAL 74 00:03:12,350 --> 00:03:16,090 1983 MO CHEEKS NBA CHAMPIONSHIP KEY CHAIN. 75 00:03:17,360 --> 00:03:20,030 - I'LL GIVE YOU $50 FOR IT. - YOU A JOKESTER? 76 00:03:20,030 --> 00:03:21,460 - OOH, BABE, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? 77 00:03:21,460 --> 00:03:23,030 - YOU LOOK AS BEAUTIFUL AS THE BETSY ROSS BRIDGE 78 00:03:23,030 --> 00:03:24,830 ALL LIT UP WITH LIGHTNING BUGS. - I DON'T KNOW. 79 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,570 YOU DON'T THINK I LOOK LIKE I'M HANDING OUT SLAP JOBS 80 00:03:26,570 --> 00:03:28,570 UNDER THE OVERPASS NEAR THE PENN'S LANDING DAVE & BUSTERS? 81 00:03:28,570 --> 00:03:31,810 - NO, YOU LOOK LIKE PRINCESS DI IN A GOWN BEFORE SHE DIED. 82 00:03:31,810 --> 00:03:33,640 NOT ONLY AM I AN OWNER/OPERATOR, 83 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:34,880 BUT I'M ALSO GONNA BE A GROOM. 84 00:03:34,880 --> 00:03:37,780 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO CHEAT ON THE SLY NOW. 85 00:03:45,020 --> 00:03:47,520 - MURPHY'S BEING SO NICE AND LETTING ME PICK OUT ANY DRESS 86 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,660 I WANT FROM THE ENTIRE SHOP. 87 00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:49,660 ALSO, AT THE REHEARSAL DINNER, 88 00:03:49,660 --> 00:03:52,430 HE SAID WE COULD HAVE A WATER ICE FOUNTAIN. 89 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,230 - I WANT TO GIVE TERESA THE DREAM WEDDING OF HER DREAMS. 90 00:03:58,230 --> 00:03:59,400 IT'S GETTING EXPENSIVE, THOUGH. 91 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,440 THEM WATER ICE FOUNTAINS COST UP TO $425. 92 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:02,940 - $65. 93 00:04:02,940 --> 00:04:05,040 - SAY HI TO BOTH YOUR AUNT JOANNES FOR ME. 94 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,010 - SAY HI TO YOURS. 95 00:04:08,010 --> 00:04:10,280 - HEY, YO, MURPH, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON BREAK? 96 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,580 GET A LUNCH OVER AT WAWA. 97 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:12,810 YOU KNOW, IT'S HOAGIEFEST. 98 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:15,450 - HEY, JOE, WHY DON'T YOU QUIT CRAWLING UP MY ASS? 99 00:04:15,450 --> 00:04:17,550 I'M JOKING. YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF ME. 100 00:04:17,550 --> 00:04:19,950 YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING? 101 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:20,850 - YES. 102 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,760 I'M GLAD YOU'RE ASKING ME, 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, IT'S-- 103 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,590 THE EAGLES GOT NOBODY PROTECTING THEIR QUARTERBACK, 104 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:27,160 RIGHT? 105 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:28,830 I NEED--I NEED TO HAVE A SMOKE. 106 00:04:28,830 --> 00:04:31,430 - HEY, WHAT'S UP, YOUSE JAGOFFS? 107 00:04:31,430 --> 00:04:33,200 IT'S TWO SLICK DICKS FROM ROUTE 76. 108 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:34,070 THAT'S THE TURNPIKE. 109 00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:35,670 WHAT'S UP, BRO? WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE? 110 00:04:35,670 --> 00:04:37,070 - YES. WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE. 111 00:04:37,070 --> 00:04:39,310 I ASKED DON TO BRING BY SOME STUFF WE COULD PAWN 112 00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,580 IN BALTIMORE, BECAUSE FINANCIALLY SPEAKING, 113 00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,440 I'M UNDERWATER. 114 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:44,010 - YEAH, MURPH HASN'T REALLY ASKED ME, 115 00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,850 LIKE, OUTRIGHT TO BE HIS BEST MAN, 116 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:49,080 BUT, LIKE, COME ON, WHO'S HE GONNA ASK, JOE? 117 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,150 - YOU WANT TO BE THE BEST MAN AT MY WEDDING? 118 00:04:51,150 --> 00:04:52,120 - YES. 119 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,090 - THAT'S SO PRETTY. 120 00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,190 - THANK YOU. - CONGRATULATIONS. 121 00:04:54,190 --> 00:04:57,020 - IT'S A DOLPHIN. [dolphin chittering] 122 00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,860 - I LIKE DOLPHINS AS LONG AS THEY'RE NOWHERE NEAR MIAMI. 123 00:04:59,860 --> 00:05:00,690 [laughter] 124 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:03,130 EVEN THOUGH DAN MARINO WENT TO CENTRAL CATHOLIC-- 125 00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:03,860 NOT BAD. 126 00:05:03,870 --> 00:05:05,300 THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. WHERE'S THE BLOWHOLE? 127 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,600 - I HOPE WE SEE SOME OF THESE DOLPHINS DOWN OCEAN CITY. 128 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,700 - YEAH, GO DOWN TO MARYLAND AND GET SOME CRABS. 129 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:11,770 - DUDE, I'M TORQUED. 130 00:05:17,050 --> 00:05:19,680 - MARYLAND IS HUMID AS BALLS, MAN. 131 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,450 I FEEL LIKE I'M IN POLAMALU'S HOMELAND. 132 00:05:21,450 --> 00:05:22,550 - SO WE WERE MEETING WITH OUR COUSIN, 133 00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:25,350 DANNY'S BROTHER-IN-LAW, PAUL, AND HIS FRIEND NEIL, 134 00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:26,020 AND THESE ARE 135 00:05:26,020 --> 00:05:29,320 A COUPLE BIG-TIME BALTIMORE PAWNSHOP OWNER/OPERATORS. 136 00:05:29,330 --> 00:05:30,890 I WAS A LITTLE NERVOUS 'CAUSE I DON'T KNOW 137 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:32,860 HOW THEY DO BUSINESS DOWN HERE IN MARYLAND. 138 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:34,760 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS HERE. 139 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,530 WHERE DO YOU WANT US TO LAY THE PRODUCT? 140 00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:38,800 - RIGHT ON THE PAVEMENT. 141 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,800 - THAT'S HOW WE DO BUSINESS DOWN HERE. 142 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,440 - FIRST UP, BALTIMORE FILMMAKER 143 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,170 JOHN WATERS SIGNED POSTER. 144 00:05:48,810 --> 00:05:49,580 - OKAY. 145 00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:52,650 - SECOND UP, EDGAR ALLEN POE, FEET OF A CROW 146 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,020 - HE WROTE MOST OF HIS GOOD STUFF IN PHILLY. 147 00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:57,950 - HE WROTE HIS SPOOKIEST STUFF IN BALTIMORE. 148 00:05:57,950 --> 00:05:59,590 - YEAH, 'CAUSE THE CITY'S A NIGHTMARE. 149 00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:00,620 - HE'S FROM ENGLAND. 150 00:06:00,620 --> 00:06:01,890 BIG BEN KNOWS WHAT TIME IT IS. 151 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:03,020 - I'M WACKO FOR FLACCO. 152 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:05,060 - FLACCO'S A JACKHOLE. - [bleep] OFF. 153 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:05,860 - SPEAKING OF THE RAVENS, 154 00:06:05,860 --> 00:06:08,060 WE GOT AN AUTOGRAPHED RAY LEWIS FINGERPRINT. 155 00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:10,130 [siren wailing] - NOTED THUG. 156 00:06:10,130 --> 00:06:14,670 - WHAT IF I GAVE $330? - O...KAY. 157 00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:15,540 - ALL RIGHT. 158 00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:18,110 - OR I CAN GIVE YOU 159 00:06:18,110 --> 00:06:22,510 SOME HONUS WAGNER PRE-OWNED COLOGNE. 160 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,480 - WHOA. HONUS WAGNER PRE-OWNED COLOGNE? 161 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,050 THAT'S WORTH ITS WEIGHT IN GOLD BACK IN THE 'BURGH, BRO. 162 00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:30,820 I COULD GET, LIKE, $650 FOR THAT AT THE STORE. 163 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:32,420 - HOW ABOUT YOU SHOW ME SOME COUSINLY LOVE. 164 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:35,060 I COULD REALLY USE THAT CASH FOR THAT WATER ICE FOUNTAIN. 165 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,520 - ALL RIGHT, THEN. IT'S YOUR WEDDING. 166 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,290 WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 167 00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:45,030 - YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN. - FINALLY IT'S OFFICIAL. 168 00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:51,710 - DEAL. - ♪ YOU DID IT ♪ 169 00:06:51,710 --> 00:06:52,940 - MY NAME IS GABE LIEDMAN, 170 00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:55,340 AND I'M FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA. 171 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:56,740 I'M THE ONLY PITTSBURGHER. 172 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:57,980 I'M FROM ABINGTON, PENNSYLVANIA. 173 00:06:57,980 --> 00:06:59,610 I'M FROM PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA, 174 00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,080 BUT I LIVED IN PITTSBURGH FOR FIVE YEARS. 175 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,120 - DO YOU THINK THEY'LL EVER MAKE POT LEGAL 176 00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,050 IN PENNSYLVANIA? - NO. 177 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,960 - NOT IF ANYONE WHO LIVES IN PENNSYLVANIA HAS TO DO WITH IT. 178 00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:09,990 THE POT THERE IS SHIT. 179 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:11,890 - YEAH. WHAT'S UP WITH YOUR DIRT WEED? 180 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,690 - YEAH, MAN. - WHEN I GO HOME FOR CHRISTMAS, 181 00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,930 I WANT TO SMOKE THAT KUSH. 182 00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:17,430 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT WEED SMELLS LIKE, PENNSYLVANIA? 183 00:07:17,430 --> 00:07:18,570 IT'S NOT WHAT YOU HAVE THERE. 184 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:20,200 - YEAH, WHAT IS IT-- WHAT DO PEOPLE-- 185 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,100 WHAT DOES IT SMELL LIKE OVER THERE? 186 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,770 - CHICKEN NUGGETS. 187 00:07:28,010 --> 00:07:30,440 - MAUREEN, YOU'RE LATE. 188 00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,510 - NO KIDDING, LARRY. 189 00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,110 I'VE BEEN PREGGO FOR THREE MONTHS HERE. 190 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,520 - LARRY BIRD, IT'S BEGUILING TO ME WHY YOU STILL DEIGN 191 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,590 TO TEND BAR AT THIS TAVERN OF TEARAWAYS. 192 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,490 YOU'RE ONE OF BOSTON'S BIGGEST SPORTS STARS. 193 00:07:41,490 --> 00:07:44,690 WHY, YOU MAKE BOBBY ORR LOOK LIKE RAY BOURQUE. 194 00:07:44,690 --> 00:07:46,630 - IT'S INTERESTING YOU SAY THAT, KELSEY GRAMMER. 195 00:07:46,630 --> 00:07:49,730 THEY WON'T LET ME INTO THE BOSTON GARDEN TILL 5:00 P.M. 196 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,730 THAT LEAVES ME WITH NINE FREE HOURS. 197 00:07:51,730 --> 00:07:55,670 PLUS, ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE THESE COUNTERS NEED CLEANING. 198 00:07:55,670 --> 00:07:59,070 AIN'T THAT RIGHT, FROZEN HEAD OF TED WILLIAMS? 199 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,640 - WELL, HERE'S SOMETHING INTERESTING 200 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,210 YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW THERE, LARRY. 201 00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,540 YOU KNOW THE FOLKS OVER THERE AT ALCOR 202 00:08:04,550 --> 00:08:06,180 WHO PUT MY HEAD HERE INTO... 203 00:08:06,180 --> 00:08:10,020 all: CRYOGENICALLY FROZEN SUSPENDED ANIMATION. 204 00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:13,720 - YEAH, WELL, THEY ALSO MAKE SOME DYNAMITE CLEANING PRODUCTS. 205 00:08:16,090 --> 00:08:17,520 - IS LARRY BIRD HERE? 206 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:18,460 - LOOK WHO IT IS, LARRY-- 207 00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:22,200 YOUR FRIEND AND TEAMMATE BILL WALTON. 208 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,200 - WHAT'S UP, BILL? 209 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,830 - IF I'M AROUND, PLENTY OF SMOKE. 210 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:32,740 - ♪ I WANNA GO WHERE NOBODY KNOWS MY FACE ♪ 211 00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:39,380 ♪ WHERE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE AND NOBODY GRABS YOUR SPACE ♪ 212 00:08:39,380 --> 00:08:42,450 ♪ I WANNA GO WHERE PEOPLE DON'T CARE ♪ 213 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:44,920 ♪ WHETHER OR NOT I'M THERE ♪ 214 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:50,590 ♪ ALL I NEED IS A DRINK AND A CHAIR ♪ 215 00:08:52,230 --> 00:08:53,660 - SO CAN I GET YOU A DRINK? 216 00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:57,130 - OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M GOOD. 217 00:08:57,130 --> 00:09:01,070 - I THOUGHT I SMELLED A FUNKY CIGARETTE. 218 00:09:01,070 --> 00:09:03,100 - I LOVE ALL YOUR SHOWS, MAN. - THANK YOU. 219 00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:05,440 YES, FRASIER WAS A REAL WATERSHED MOMENT FOR ME, 220 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,940 AND BY THE END, I WAS MAKING $400,000 PER EPISODE. 221 00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,110 OF COURSE, I TOOK A PAY CUT FOR BOSS, 222 00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:13,710 AS I DEEMED IT AN ARTISTIC CHALLENGE. 223 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,120 AND THIS IS ALL IN THE FUTURE. 224 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,050 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DRINK, 225 00:09:18,050 --> 00:09:19,090 THEN WHY DID YOU COME HERE? 226 00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:20,250 DO YOU NEED A RIDE TO THE GAME? 227 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,020 ALTHOUGH I'D PREFER TO DRIVE ON MY OWN. 228 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:23,420 IT'S THE ONLY TIME I GET ALONE. 229 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,230 - NO, NO, I DON'T NEED A RIDE ANYWHERE, MAN. 230 00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:27,260 I QUIT THE TEAM. 231 00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:30,160 I'M SICK OF RED AUERBACH'S BULL[bleep], MAN. 232 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:31,670 - HOW'S COME? - WELL, HE ASKED ME 233 00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:34,530 TO SHAVE MY BEARD, AND I SAID NO, 234 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:36,240 'CAUSE I GOT NO CHIN, BRO. 235 00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:40,470 - NO CHIN? - I GOT NO BODY. 236 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,010 - CAN I WORK HERE AT CHAIRS? 237 00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:43,940 - THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION IS NO, 238 00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:45,850 BECAUSE YOU DO NEED A LICENSE TO TEND BAR HERE. 239 00:09:45,850 --> 00:09:49,120 - WELL, BILL, I CAN HELP YOU PASS THE MASSACHUSETTS BAR EXAM. 240 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,650 - MM-MM, NOT RIGHT NOW YOU CAN'T, SACK OF SAND. 241 00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,120 IT'S HAPPY HOUR. - HAPPY HOUR? 242 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,360 LIKE, WHEN I GET TO SHOOT BASKETS IN AN EMPTY GYM? 243 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:58,090 - NO, THE TIME WHEN YOU ZIP YOUR LIP, 244 00:09:58,090 --> 00:10:01,600 AND START TO POUR THOSE [bleep] SUDS. 245 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,160 - ALL RIGHT, MAUREEN. 246 00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:06,600 - THE ACTING ON CHEERS IS SO, SO, SO GOOD, 247 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,270 BUT ONCE YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH IT 248 00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:10,840 AND YOU WATCH ALL, WHATEVER, TEN SEASONS OF CHEERS, 249 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,940 YOU CAN SEE THE CRACKS IN THEIR ACTING. 250 00:10:12,940 --> 00:10:15,940 WHERE IT REALLY COMES IN IS WHEN THEY HAVE A MOMENT 251 00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,940 WHERE CARLA JUST, YOU KNOW, TAKES A CRAP 252 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,150 ON FRASIER OR WHATEVER, SAYS SOME ZINGER, 253 00:10:20,150 --> 00:10:22,850 AND THEN FRASIER'S JUST KIND OF LIKE... 254 00:10:22,850 --> 00:10:23,980 - [laughs] 255 00:10:23,990 --> 00:10:24,680 - YEAH, HE'S LIKE, 256 00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:26,950 "I'M WAITING FOR THE INVISIBLE PEOPLE TO LAUGH." 257 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,190 [heavy metal music] 258 00:10:30,190 --> 00:10:31,160 ♪ ♪ 259 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,360 - DENISE'S BIRTHDAY IS IN FULL SWING, 260 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,700 BUT IT IS ALSO UNDER ATTACK 261 00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:40,530 BY A 15-YEAR-OLD BULLY NAMED BRITNEY. 262 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,240 - OH, I'M DENISE. 263 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:47,270 I'M JUST DENISE, OBVIOUSLY, BUT, UM... 264 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,310 SO THERE' S THAT. 265 00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:50,440 SECONDLY, I'D LIKE TO SAY THANK YOU. 266 00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,850 PLEASE OBEY THE LIST. 267 00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:55,520 - MY DISGUISE IS ALMOST COMPLETE. 268 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,020 BRITNEY HAS NO IDEA THAT SHE'S ABOUT TO GET HER FACE 269 00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:02,360 MELTED OFF WITH AN INSANE KARAOKE VERSION OF L.A. DELI. 270 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,260 ♪ L.A. DELI ♪ 271 00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:07,630 - SUNG BY NONE OTHER THAN NASH RICKEY. 272 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:10,460 - ♪ SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME DO MY THING ♪ 273 00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:15,700 ♪ SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME ♪ - ♪ MOVE AROUND ♪ 274 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:18,170 ♪ SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME DO MY THING ♪ 275 00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,770 - A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE TO SEE ME MOVE AROUND, 276 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:21,940 AND I CHOSE THE SONG. 277 00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:23,310 CAN I SING? 278 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:24,340 BRITNEY, CAN I SING IT, PLEASE? 279 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:26,750 - I MUST PROTECT MY SWEET LITTLE DENISE, 280 00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,920 AND AS I SLURP BRITNEY UP... 281 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,050 [slurping] 282 00:11:30,050 --> 00:11:33,190 I CAN TASTE HER BLOOD NOW. 283 00:11:33,190 --> 00:11:35,790 AAH! 284 00:11:39,390 --> 00:11:40,930 I DID NOT ANTICIPATE THAT A GROWN MAN 285 00:11:40,930 --> 00:11:43,800 DRESSED IN A BUSINESS SUIT AT A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY 286 00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:45,570 WOULD STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMB, 287 00:11:45,570 --> 00:11:47,200 WHICH I'M ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH 288 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:48,270 AFTER AN INJURY I SUSTAINED 289 00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:52,170 TRYING TO IMPRESS A THAI BOY/GIRL... 290 00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,440 MANY YEARS AGO. 291 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,710 - CUT THE SONG. CUT THE SONG. CUT THE SONG. 292 00:11:55,710 --> 00:12:00,210 BRITNEY, THIS ONE IS DEDICATED TO YOU FROM DENISE 293 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:05,620 BECAUSE THIS KARAOKE BULLY IS ABOUT TO BE HUMBLED. 294 00:12:05,620 --> 00:12:08,120 ♪ L.A. DELI ♪ 295 00:12:08,120 --> 00:12:12,430 ♪ WHERE THE AFTER-PARTY'S RAGING IN MY L.A. TOWN ♪ 296 00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,630 - I DON'T LIKE ROCK MUSIC. I THINK IT'S PRETTY SCARY. 297 00:12:14,630 --> 00:12:17,600 I GET SCARED OF ALL THOSE ROCK PEOPLE. 298 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:20,700 [rock music] 299 00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:23,000 ♪ ♪ 300 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:26,270 - YOU'VE JUST BEEN KARAOKE-BULLIED. 301 00:12:26,270 --> 00:12:27,010 - WHAT? 302 00:12:27,010 --> 00:12:30,640 - I AM NONE OTHER THAN ROCK LEGEND NASH RICKEY. 303 00:12:30,650 --> 00:12:33,110 - NASH? 304 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,380 - HELEN? 305 00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:36,320 IS THIS YOUR DAUGHTER? - YEAH. 306 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:40,450 - BRITNEY, I'M YOUR FATHER. 307 00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,220 - MOM? 308 00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,690 - I NEVER IMAGINED I WOULD RUN INTO MY ILLEGITIMATE, 309 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:44,760 LONG-LOST DAUGHTER, BRITNEY, 310 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:47,890 LET ALONE SHAME HER AND BULLY HER IN PUBLIC. 311 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,330 - I THOUGHT I'D FEEL REALLY GOOD 312 00:12:49,330 --> 00:12:50,600 WHEN BRITNEY GOT HER COMEUPPANCE, 313 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,500 BUT I ACTUALLY FELT KIND OF BAD. 314 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,170 SHE GOT EMBARRASSED, 315 00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:59,970 AND SHE FOUND OUT THAT HER DAD IS RUCKY NOSHY. 316 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,440 - I MEAN, YOU JUST ATTACKED... 317 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:03,740 - BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAUGHTER 318 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,010 WILL TAKE TIME AND TRUST-- 319 00:13:05,010 --> 00:13:08,750 TWO THINGS THAT ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY. 320 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:12,020 - ♪ OTTA WANNA, OTTA WANNA, OTTA WANNA GO TO BED ♪ 321 00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:16,490 ♪ I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANT, I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED ♪ 322 00:13:16,490 --> 00:13:25,060 [gunshot] 323 00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:26,170 - SO WE'RE DOING OUR REHEARSAL DINNER 324 00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:29,900 AT PROBABLY THE FINEST CRAB SHACK IN ALL OF OCEAN CITY. 325 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,010 WE'RE DEFINITELY GONNA HAVE SOME DRINKS, 326 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:33,670 MAYBE DO A LITTLE KARAOKE. 327 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:34,670 - WHO'S THIS JOKESTER, MURPH? 328 00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:37,480 - THAT'S ONE OF MY OLD BUDDIES FROM VOCATIONAL SCHOOL. 329 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:39,710 - I HOPE YOU WORE YOUR DANCING SHOES. 330 00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,020 - I WAS HOPING TO WRITE MY SPEECH IN THE CAR RIDE DOWN, 331 00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:45,920 BUT MURPH FORGOT ABOUT ME, AND I HAD TO DRIVE MYSELF. 332 00:13:45,920 --> 00:13:47,350 - HEY. 333 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,090 TALK. - TALK, TALK, TALK, TALK. 334 00:13:49,090 --> 00:13:52,330 - I'M NOT MUCH IN EMOTION, SO I'M GONNA KEEP THIS BRIEF. 335 00:13:52,330 --> 00:13:54,860 TERESA, WHAT CAN I SAY? 336 00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,900 YOU KNOW, YOU LOOK GOOD AS [bleep]. 337 00:13:57,900 --> 00:13:59,770 - DUDE, THAT SPEECH WAS GOOD AS HELL. 338 00:13:59,770 --> 00:14:00,630 - THAT WAS REALLY GOOD. 339 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,440 - I'VE BEEN WORKING ON THAT SPEECH FOR TWO YEARS. 340 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,570 - THAT DIRT CAN BE REALLY CUTE SOMETIMES. 341 00:14:04,570 --> 00:14:09,480 - AND NOW TIME FOR A SPEECH FROM MY BEST MAN... 342 00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:12,280 JOE FROM WORK. 343 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,280 - I'D START MY SPEECH WITH A JOKE, 344 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:15,150 BUT I DON'T HAVE ONE. 345 00:14:15,150 --> 00:14:18,020 WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY DEFINES THE WORD "WEDDING" 346 00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:19,850 AS A MARRIAGE CEREMONY. 347 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,660 WEBSTER'S DEFINES "CEREMONY" AS A FORMAL-- 348 00:14:22,660 --> 00:14:24,090 - ALL RIGHT, NO MORE! 349 00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,990 DUDE, YOU JUST TOLD ME I WAS YOUR BEST MAN. 350 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,600 - YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN. 351 00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:31,900 - HOW ABOUT YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISES, ALL RIGHT? 352 00:14:31,900 --> 00:14:33,770 - I SAID YOU WERE THE BEST, MAN. 353 00:14:33,770 --> 00:14:35,940 YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN. 354 00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:39,110 - THAT 650 BUCKS COULD'VE BOUGHT DON JR. A MINI BIKE. 355 00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,310 - DON, WHY YOU FREAKING OUT? 356 00:14:40,310 --> 00:14:41,740 - YOU SAID, "YOU'RE THE BEST MAN." 357 00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:44,180 - YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN. 358 00:14:44,180 --> 00:14:46,950 DON, I SAID, "YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN" 359 00:14:46,950 --> 00:14:49,350 YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN." 360 00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,350 - YEAH, YOU SAID I WAS THE BEST MAN. 361 00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:52,520 - YOU'RE THE BEST, MAN. 362 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,890 - OH, MY GOD! 363 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,890 - HEY, DON, WHY DON'T YOU CHILL OUT, OKAY? 364 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:00,830 YOU'RE MAKING MY BRIDE UPSET. 365 00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:03,960 SHE'S GONNA LOSE ONE OF HER EYELASHES. 366 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,110 - THERE'S SO MANY DIFFERENT PARTS TO A WEDDING. 367 00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:16,210 HINES WARD, POLAMALU, AND YOU GOT YOURSELF ROETHLISBERGER. 368 00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:17,380 - HE'S A RAPIST. - HE'S A RAPIST. 369 00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:19,250 AND HE'S AN EFFECTIVE QUARTERBACK IN THE POCKET. 370 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,610 - YOU'RE MY HINES WARD, DON, OKAY? 371 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,680 THAT'S WHY I NEED YOU TO BE MY RING BEARER. 372 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:24,880 - OH, I'M THE RING BEARER? 373 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,320 OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 374 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,890 IT'S A JOB FOR AN OVERWEIGHT CHILD. 375 00:15:28,890 --> 00:15:29,920 WHAT AM I, FRODO BAGGINS? 376 00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,490 - YOU GOT THE FACIAL HAIR TO MATCH. 377 00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:33,790 - YEAH, WELL, TALKING ABOUT HOBBITS, 378 00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,460 THEY DON'T HAVE MUCH FACIAL HAIR, DO THEY? 379 00:15:35,460 --> 00:15:39,030 THEY GOT FOOT HAIR. - HEY, JOE, A-PLUS SPEECH. 380 00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:40,330 - SERIOUSLY? - NO. 381 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,470 - SO I HEARD MURPH AND TERESA 382 00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,640 GOT SOME KARAOKE PLANNED FOR LATER. 383 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:44,570 I'M GONNA RUIN IT. 384 00:15:44,570 --> 00:15:47,210 - TONIGHT ONE OF THESE JAGOFFS DIES. 385 00:15:47,210 --> 00:15:50,440 - OH, YEAH, DONNIE, WE'LL BRING THEM DOWN. 386 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,050 - WE'LL GET UP ON STAGE AND INTERRUPT THEM. 387 00:15:52,050 --> 00:15:55,080 - YOU ARE A COMEDIAN. HOW DO YOU LIKE PUBLIC SPEAKING? 388 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,220 - UH, NOT A BIG FAN OF IT. 389 00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:58,790 - [laughs] 390 00:15:58,790 --> 00:16:02,290 - I MEAN, HOW DO I FEEL ABOUT SPEAKING TO ANYBODY AT ANY TIME? 391 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:03,560 I WOULD DO WITHOUT IT IF I COULD. 392 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:05,590 - DID YOU WATCH CHEERS, GROWING UP, A LOT? 393 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,460 - OH, YEAH, YEAH. 394 00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:07,760 - YOU'RE WATCHING CHEERS RIGHT NOW. 395 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:09,600 - I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, THE DAY WE SHOT THAT SKETCH, 396 00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:10,760 AND EVERYBODY WAS LIKE, "ARE YOU OKAY 397 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,770 TRAPPED IN THAT LITTLE BOX, IN THAT LITTLE JAR?" 398 00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:14,630 I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, MAN, I'M FINE. 399 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,670 THIS IS GREAT FOR ME." 400 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,640 - THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. - I JUST SAT IN A JAR. 401 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,040 ANDREW ASKED ME IF I WANTED WATER ONCE IN A WHILE. 402 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:24,340 MAYBE I'M SUPPOSED TO BE, LIKE, A TURTLE OR SOMETHING. 403 00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:28,580 - OKAY, BILL, LET'S TRY THIS ONE MORE TIME. 404 00:16:28,580 --> 00:16:32,220 HOW OFTEN DO YOU GIVE A NEW CUSTOMER A DRY NAPKIN? 405 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,150 - OH, I DON'T KNOW, LARRY. 406 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,720 MY BRAIN IS FRIED AND NOT THE GOOD KIND OF FRIED. 407 00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:40,560 - WELL, WHY NOT RIP TICKETS AT SYMPHONY HALL? 408 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:41,690 I'M SURE THE STRINGS OF THE POPS 409 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:44,400 WILL BE PREFERABLE TO THE QUIPS OF THE MAUREENS. 410 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,570 - HEY, WHY DON'T YOU WATCH YOUR MOUTH, KELSEY GRAMMER? 411 00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:48,200 OTHERWISE, WE'RE GONNA BE HEARING SOME POPS IN HERE-- 412 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,840 THE SOUND OF THE POPS WHEN I POP YOU RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. 413 00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,740 - YEAH, HELLO. I'M THE PROCTOR 414 00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:55,510 FOR THE MASSACHUSETTS STATE BARTENDING EXAM. 415 00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:57,680 - OW, MY BACK. - OW, MY FEET. 416 00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,680 - TO A MR. BILL WALTON. 417 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,450 - WHAT BOSTONIAN DOESN'T KNOW WHO BILL WALTON IS? 418 00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:06,590 COME ON. - I'M A BRUINS FAN. 419 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:09,020 - LARRY, YOU GOT TO PRETEND TO BE ME, BRO. 420 00:17:09,020 --> 00:17:10,090 YOU KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS. 421 00:17:10,090 --> 00:17:11,790 IT'S THE ONLY WAY I'LL PASS THE EXAM. 422 00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:14,230 - BUT, BILL, I THOUGHT I WAS JUST HELPING YOU OUT 423 00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:15,030 WITH AN ASSIST. 424 00:17:15,030 --> 00:17:16,500 COME ON, LARRY, STOP USING BASKETBALL TERMS 425 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,830 AS THE ONLY WAY THAT YOU KNOW HOW TO RELATE TO PEOPLE. 426 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:19,830 THERE'S GOT TO BE OTHER WAYS, 427 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,270 'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT ALONE IN THIS UNIVERSE. 428 00:17:21,270 --> 00:17:23,170 YOU GOT TO MAKE FRIENDS. - IS HE HERE OR WHAT? 429 00:17:23,170 --> 00:17:25,340 I ACTUALLY GOT BRUINS TICKETS FOR TONIGHT. 430 00:17:25,340 --> 00:17:26,770 - HE'S RIGHT HERE. - YES. 431 00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,470 - RIGHT HERE, STANDING NEXT TO ME. 432 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,440 I'M LARRY BIRD. - OH, [bleep] YOU, LARRY. 433 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,280 WHAT THE [bleep]? YOU [bleep] ME. [bleep]. 434 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:34,510 - BILL, THERE'S ONE THING YOU GOT TO KNOW ABOUT ME. 435 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:35,720 I'M VICIOUSLY COMPETITIVE. 436 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,650 - I GUESS SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE. 437 00:17:37,650 --> 00:17:40,820 I DO NOT LIKE GETTING TESTED... 438 00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:44,920 ON ACCOUNT OF MY RAMPANT DRUG USE. 439 00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:50,900 - GO-TO KARAOKE SONG? - OH, GO TO WHERE? 440 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,470 - WHAT'S YOUR GO-TO KARAOKE SONG? 441 00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:53,500 - OH, WHAT IS MY GO-TO? 442 00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:55,940 I JUST CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING FROM THE LION KING. 443 00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:56,970 - SO WHAT'S THAT SONG ABOUT? 444 00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:59,370 - IT'S ABOUT HOW HE'S GONNA BE A MIGHTY KING, 445 00:17:59,370 --> 00:18:01,410 SO ENEMIES SHOULD BEWARE 446 00:18:01,410 --> 00:18:02,180 AND OTHER THINGS, 447 00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:04,640 LIKE KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORNBILLS, 448 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:05,480 LIKE, FOR A START, 449 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:07,550 AND NOT, LIKE-- NOBODY WOULD BE LIKE, "DO THIS." 450 00:18:07,550 --> 00:18:10,150 NOBODY WOULD SAY, "BE THERE," OR, "STOP THAT," OR, "SEE HERE." 451 00:18:10,150 --> 00:18:13,220 - IT SOUNDS LIKE A HUBRIS-FILLED FANTASY SONG. 452 00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:14,920 - YEAH, IT'S ABOUT A YOUNG PRINCE 453 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,690 WHO CAN'T WAIT TO BE KING. 454 00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:21,030 [horn honks] 455 00:18:21,030 --> 00:18:22,030 - I'LL DO IT MYSELF. I'VE GOT IT. 456 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:25,030 EARLIER THIS EVENING, I GOT A CALL ABOUT BAD BLOOD 457 00:18:25,030 --> 00:18:26,700 AT A KARAOKE REHEARSAL DINNER. 458 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,470 - AS MURPH'S BEST MAN, I GOT TO WATCH HIS BACK. 459 00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:32,940 SO I PREEMPTIVELY CALLED THE KARAOKE-BULLY HOTLINE. 460 00:18:32,940 --> 00:18:33,670 - TO FULLY BLEND IN 461 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,180 SO THAT I COULD AMBUSH THE KARAOKE BULLY, 462 00:18:36,180 --> 00:18:39,150 I NEEDED TO GET INTO A DISGUISE. 463 00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,210 TATTERED ROBES, CROWN OF THORNS-- 464 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:44,980 IF IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE JESUS CHRIST, SO BE IT. 465 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:49,220 THERE YOU GO. 466 00:18:49,220 --> 00:18:52,330 [rock music] 467 00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:55,060 ♪ ♪ 468 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:58,630 [all singing indistinctly] 469 00:19:00,230 --> 00:19:04,840 ♪ BABY, DON'T YOU WANNA GRAB SOME TASTYKAKES ♪ 470 00:19:04,840 --> 00:19:08,770 ♪ LOAD UP THE CAMPER AND GO ♪ 471 00:19:08,780 --> 00:19:12,750 ♪ WE'RE GOING UP TO THE POCONOS ♪ 472 00:19:12,750 --> 00:19:14,680 - YEAH. - WHOO! 473 00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,480 - THERE SEEMS TO BE A KARAOKE PARTY 474 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,550 WHERE THE CAMARADERIE IS RUNNING FREE. 475 00:19:18,550 --> 00:19:19,390 I'M BEGINNING TO WONDER, 476 00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:22,190 AM I BEING PRANKED LIKE JESUS WAS PRANKED BY THE ROMANS 477 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:23,020 AT BETHLEHEM? 478 00:19:23,020 --> 00:19:24,890 WILL THE BULLY EVER SHOW HIS FACE? 479 00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:27,690 all: ♪ DELAWARE TO CHESAPEAKE BAY ♪ 480 00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,000 - ♪ OOH, BOP BOP, DOO WOP WOP ♪ 481 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,330 all: ♪ BUT FOR ME, PARADISE IS JUST A QUARTER OF THE PRICE ♪ 482 00:19:34,340 --> 00:19:39,470 ♪ IT'S JUST AN HOUR-AND-A-HALF DRIVE AWAY ♪ 483 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:40,510 - ♪ A-A-A-Y ♪ 484 00:19:40,510 --> 00:19:44,180 - AH, YES, THE BULLY SHOWS HIS COWARDLY FACE. 485 00:19:44,180 --> 00:19:47,450 - ♪ YOU'RE MOVING WAY TOO SLOW ♪ 486 00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:51,580 ♪ COMING DOWN TO THE POCONOS ♪ 487 00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:53,620 HEY! THAT'S RIGHT. 488 00:19:53,620 --> 00:19:54,920 I'M TAKING OVER THIS [bleep]. 489 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:57,090 NOBODY'S ALLOWED ONSTAGE ANYMORE. 490 00:19:57,090 --> 00:19:59,530 [rock music] 491 00:19:59,530 --> 00:20:02,860 [sad music, Teresa crying] 492 00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:04,400 ♪ ♪ 493 00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:07,400 - I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR ME TO RESURRECT L.A. DELI 494 00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,700 AND TAKE THIS BULLY DOWN. 495 00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,410 LET'S GO. 496 00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:15,640 - WHOA, DUDE, WHAT'S UP? 497 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:20,110 - ♪ WHEN THE PARTY'S BREAKIN' UP AND THE DOORS ARE CLOSING DOWN ♪ 498 00:20:20,110 --> 00:20:24,820 ♪ AND THE CITY OF ANGELS SLEEPS ♪ 499 00:20:24,820 --> 00:20:27,520 ♪ L.A. DELI ♪ 500 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:32,090 ♪ WHERE THE AFTER-PARTY'S RAGING IN MY L.A. TOWN ♪ 501 00:20:32,090 --> 00:20:34,890 - I GUESS THIS BULLY WAS TOO STRONG. 502 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,000 I WAS AMBUSHED, BUT THAT OFTENTIMES HAPPEN TO HEROES-- 503 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,070 HEROES AND MARTYRS. 504 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:43,340 - ♪ GONNA RIDE THAT WINGED BEAUTY ♪ 505 00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:46,340 - DUDE, ALL CREDIT WHERE CREDIT'S DUE. 506 00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:47,070 YOU ROCKED THAT, DUDE. 507 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,040 - THANKS, DUDE. - WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE? 508 00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:49,980 - WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE. 509 00:20:49,980 --> 00:20:52,210 - LET'S GET BLACKOUT DRUNK. - LET'S DO IT! 510 00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,610 - LET'S DO THIS! 511 00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:56,980 [all cheering] 512 00:20:56,990 --> 00:21:00,720 - WHERE'S THE PRODUCER? THERE ARE NO KEYS IN THE CAR. 513 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,820 [rock music] 514 00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:05,090 ♪ ♪ 515 00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:08,390 - HA HA. GOOD AT BIZNESS. 516 00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:13,070 - OW. 517 00:21:13,070 --> 00:21:17,400 - OKAY, NOW TO KICK IT OFF, IT'S DENISE, WITH-- 518 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,740 OH, DARN IT. 519 00:21:19,740 --> 00:21:23,080 ♪ COULD YOU BE THE FIRST TO TAKE ME ALL THE WAY? ♪ 520 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:23,110 ♪ I AIN'T WITH A BOY NO MORE, I'VE THROWN MY CARES AWAY ♪ 39267

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