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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,530 --> 00:00:05,330 [big band music] 2 00:00:05,330 --> 00:00:06,630 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:08,170 [music warps, stops] 4 00:00:08,970 --> 00:00:11,770 both: OHHH... 5 00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,710 GOOD-BYE. 6 00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:16,310 - NORMALLY WE SAY "OH, HELLO." 7 00:00:16,310 --> 00:00:19,550 BUT TODAY WE'RE SAYING "GOOD-BYE" TO THE CITY 8 00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:20,910 OF NEW YORK. - NEW YORK CITY. 9 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:23,620 [cheerful music] 10 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:25,050 - THIS CITY IS NOW RUN 11 00:00:25,050 --> 00:00:25,820 BY CORPORATIONS. 12 00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:29,420 - "STIBUCKS" AND "CHEAPOTLE" COVERS THE LANDSCAPE. 13 00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:33,530 - THE FUHRER, RUDY GIULIANI, MADE THIS A POLICE STATE. 14 00:00:33,530 --> 00:00:34,900 YOU CAN'T EVEN SMOKE 15 00:00:34,900 --> 00:00:35,960 IN A HOSPITAL ANYMORE. 16 00:00:35,970 --> 00:00:38,270 - GET STUFFED. THANKS FOR NOTHING. 17 00:00:38,270 --> 00:00:39,800 50 YEARS OF GARBAGE. [spits] 18 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:43,670 - THE POWER WENT OUT A FEW YEARS AGO AND PEOPLE DIDN'T EVEN 19 00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:46,240 STEAL VCRS AND KILL EACH OTHER. 20 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:49,810 SO, SCREW OFF, NEW YORK. 21 00:00:49,810 --> 00:00:53,550 - AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE FINALLY OUR LANDLORD REALIZED 22 00:00:53,550 --> 00:00:56,880 THAT WE HAD BEEN LIVING IN A DEAD MAN'S APARTMENT 23 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,590 FOR FREE FOR THE LAST 35 YEARS. 24 00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:02,720 both: OHH... 25 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,060 - GOOD-BYE, APARTMENT. 26 00:01:04,060 --> 00:01:06,860 - SO MANY MEMORIES, SO MANY BEAUTIFUL NEIGHBORS 27 00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:08,560 OVER THE YEARS. - YOU REMEMBER, THERE WAS-- 28 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,230 THERE WAS--THERE WAS RACHEL AND MONICA. 29 00:01:10,230 --> 00:01:13,500 AND DOWN THERE, THERE WAS... both: CHANDLER AND JOEY. 30 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:17,970 - ALL OF THEM MICE THAT I NAMED AFTER THE PEOPLE ON FRIENDS. 31 00:01:17,970 --> 00:01:19,440 [grunts] - OHH. 32 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:21,580 - LOOK AT THAT. - LOOK AT THAT! 33 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:24,040 - SO WHERE WE GONNA MOVE TO, GEORGE? 34 00:01:24,050 --> 00:01:26,180 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN "MOVE"? WE'RE GONNA KILL OURSELVES, 35 00:01:26,180 --> 00:01:27,920 TOGETHER. WE'RE TIRED OF NEW YORK, 36 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:30,180 SO WE'RE GONNA JUMP INTO THE ELEVATOR SHAFT 37 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,690 AND KILL OURSELVES. - WHAT? 38 00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:32,950 - YEAH. - I THOUGHT WE WERE MOVING. 39 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,990 - NO, NO, NO, WE'RE NOT MOVING. I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN MORE CLEAR. 40 00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:39,790 - I DON'T WANT TO DIE. I JUST GOT THESE PANTS TAILORED. 41 00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:43,130 - UH, LET'S JUMP ON ONE, IN HONOR OF NEW YORK 1, 42 00:01:43,130 --> 00:01:47,700 THAT GREAT CHANNEL THAT AUTOMATICALLY COMES UP. 43 00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:50,670 OH, BOY. THIS IS GONNA HURT SO MUCH. 44 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:52,970 ALL RIGHT, AND... both: ONE. 45 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,340 - [screams] - OH, YOU KNOW WHAT. 46 00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:55,510 I LEFT MY CLOCK RADIO ON. [thud] 47 00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:57,980 I'D HATE FOR THE BATTERY TO RUN OUT. 48 00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:01,080 [dubstep music] 49 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:09,320 ♪ ♪ 50 00:02:12,030 --> 00:02:14,330 - IF YOU WERE TO KILL YOURSELF, HOW WOULD YOU DO IT? 51 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:15,360 - PILLS. COME ON. 52 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:15,930 [both laugh] 53 00:02:15,930 --> 00:02:20,330 - IT'S THE EASIEST QUESTION I'VE EVER BEEN ASKED IN MY LIFE. 54 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,470 - BUT WHAT--HOW WOULD YOU--BUT WHAT-- 55 00:02:21,470 --> 00:02:24,640 - GEE, LET'S SEE. UM, I LOVE TAKING PILLS. 56 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:25,910 - UH-HUH. [both laugh] 57 00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:28,410 SO MAYBE... - YEAH, BUT MAYBE-- 58 00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:30,610 - MAYBE DOING WHAT I LOVE? 59 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:35,280 - SOME ACE THE FIRST SERVE, WHILE OTHERS NEED A SECOND SHOT. 60 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,780 AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN. 61 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:40,890 I PAIR FATALISTIC SINGLES WITH THEIR PERFECT PARTNERS. 62 00:02:40,890 --> 00:02:43,890 AND HOPEFULLY FIND A LITTLE SOMEONE FOR MYSELF 63 00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:45,330 WHILE I'M AT IT. 64 00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:47,330 IT'S GAME, SET, MATCH 65 00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:50,630 ON THE LOSER'S BRACKET. 66 00:02:50,630 --> 00:02:51,970 [chuckles] 67 00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:55,200 TWO DRINK MAXIMUM! 68 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,340 WHY AM I CRYING? WHO'S INTERVIEWING WHO? 69 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:01,280 HEY, HEY, HEY, BRENTH. 70 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,080 - HEY, GENIE. 71 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,940 - HOW WAS YOUR NIGHT? - YEAH, IT WAS GROSS. 72 00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:07,150 YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT. - OKAY, WELL-- 73 00:03:08,550 --> 00:03:09,780 WHAT DO WE HAVE? - OKAY. 74 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:12,920 OUR MVL TODAY IS ARMOND. 75 00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:13,990 HE'S A PET PLASTIC SURGEON. 76 00:03:13,990 --> 00:03:15,720 HE'S BEEN MARRIED FOUR TIMES ALREADY. 77 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,260 AND HE JUST BEAT A MURDER RAP ON A TECHNICALITY, 78 00:03:19,260 --> 00:03:22,130 WHICH IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING FOUND INNOCENT. 79 00:03:22,130 --> 00:03:23,000 - MY NAME IS DR. ARMOND. 80 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,830 I'M CALIFORNIA'S PREMIER ANIMAL PLASTIC SURGEON. 81 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:28,070 I'VE BEEN MARRIED SEVERAL TIMES BEFORE, 82 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:29,800 AND I'M LOOKING FOR MY NEXT VICTIM. 83 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:33,010 THAT JOKE WOULD HAVE KILLED A FEW YEARS AGO, 84 00:03:33,010 --> 00:03:34,510 BUT NOW, IT DOESN'T WORK 85 00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:37,240 AS I'VE BEEN ACCUSED OF MURDERING MY OWN WIFE, SHANNON, 86 00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:41,250 WHO WAS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN I'VE EVER SEEN. 87 00:03:41,380 --> 00:03:43,150 - THAT WAS NICE, HUH? ARE YOU WATCHING? 88 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:45,990 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS? - YOU LOOK GREAT. 89 00:03:45,990 --> 00:03:47,620 [brakes screech] 90 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:48,360 - OH. 91 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,990 - THE DOCTOR...IS IN. 92 00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:54,530 - AM I THE ONLY ONE IMAGINING THIS GUY INSIDE ME? 93 00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:56,700 - I WAS ACCUSED OF MURDER. - OH. 94 00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:57,900 UH-OH. [nervous laughter] 95 00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,700 - IT WAS A MISTRIAL. I GOT OFF ON A TECHNICALITY. 96 00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,100 BUT I DIDN'T MURDER MY WIFE. 97 00:04:02,100 --> 00:04:04,300 - THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY FUN. ARE YOU READY FOR LOVE? 98 00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:06,610 - I'M READY TO SERVE AN ACE TO LOVE. 99 00:04:06,610 --> 00:04:09,510 - A LITTLE MIME WORK. - BUT IF I HAVE TO RUSH THE NET, 100 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,880 I WILL. [thwack] 101 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:12,050 [buzzer] ARE YOU LOOKING FOR LOVE? 102 00:04:12,050 --> 00:04:14,280 - I MEAN, I'M NOT NOT. [laughs] 103 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,550 - WELL, MAYBE I'LL SEE YOU AROUND TOWN. 104 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:18,490 - OH. [laughs] 105 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:20,250 WHAT IF I GOT ON? THAT WOULD BE FUNNY, RIGHT? 106 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,360 - THAT'D BE HILARIOUS. - IF I GOT ON. 107 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,490 - GENIE GETS IT WET FOR MOST OF OUR CONTESTANTS, 108 00:04:24,490 --> 00:04:26,390 BUT I WOULD SAY THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT 109 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,030 ABOUT THIS MURDERER. 110 00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,900 - SO TELL ME ABOUT YOU. WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES? 111 00:04:29,900 --> 00:04:33,070 - WELL, MY NUMBER ONE HOBBY RIGHT NOW 112 00:04:33,070 --> 00:04:34,030 IS MY BEAUTIFUL SON ROMAN. 113 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,270 HE'S IN THE THROES OF HIS RENAISSANCE. 114 00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:37,800 IT'S A REAL PLEASURE TO WATCH. 115 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:40,270 - OKAY, PEOPLE ARE NOT HOBBIES. 116 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,340 WHAT ARE YOUR INTERESTS? 117 00:04:41,340 --> 00:04:43,410 - OBVIOUSLY, DOG REJUVENATION SURGERY, 118 00:04:43,410 --> 00:04:44,910 WHERE I MADE MY LIVING. [dog yaps] 119 00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,550 I ALSO LOVE FRANCE. 120 00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:49,020 - WOW. - AND THEN WHEN I'M NOT 121 00:04:49,020 --> 00:04:50,080 THINKING ABOUT THOSE THINGS, 122 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,250 I'M THINKING ABOUT THE BRUTAL MURDER OF MY WIFE SHANNON. 123 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,790 - NO, NO, NO. LET'S NOT DO THAT. 124 00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:55,890 AND DEFINITELY DON'T ADD A GESTURE. 125 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:57,760 IT'S A LOT TO HEAR. [laughs] 126 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,890 - IT WAS A LOT TO SEE. 127 00:05:00,900 --> 00:05:01,960 - YOU WERE THERE? 128 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:02,860 - I WASN'T THERE. 129 00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:06,800 WELL, I WAS THERE, BUT NOT DURING THE MURDER. 130 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:10,070 I WAS THERE SOON AFTERWARDS. 131 00:05:10,070 --> 00:05:11,510 - HE'S SAYING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS, 132 00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:13,310 BUT BEFORE I AGREE TO TAKE ON ARMOND, 133 00:05:13,310 --> 00:05:16,340 I HAD TO SERVE UP SOME HARD-HITTING QUESTIONS. 134 00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,840 YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUSH THE NET. 135 00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,850 BUT I NEED TO KNOW YOU'RE WILLING TO PLAY THE GAME. 136 00:05:20,850 --> 00:05:22,650 ARE YOU OVER YOUR DEAD WIFE? 137 00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:25,890 - I'LL NEVER BE OVER MY DEAD WIFE. 138 00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,550 BUT I AM... 139 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:28,890 READY TO DATE AGAIN. 140 00:05:28,890 --> 00:05:30,060 - YOU'RE SURE? 141 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:32,360 - CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO DIE. 142 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:34,290 STICK A NEEDLE IN MY EYE. 143 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:36,030 GENIE'S SERVING UP SOME TOUGH QUESTIONS. 144 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:39,400 BUT I'M KNOCKING THEM RIGHT BACK WITH MY PATENTED BACKHAND. 145 00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,700 - I'M GONNA THROW YOU A MIXER WITH ALL THE BEST LADIES, 146 00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:45,370 A TWO-DRINK MAXIMUM, AND NO TALK OF YOU-KNOW-WHAT. 147 00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:46,310 - OUR MUTUAL ATTRACTION? 148 00:05:46,310 --> 00:05:48,880 - [laughs] I WAS GONNA SAY "MURDER." 149 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,740 I THINK I FINALLY FOUND LOVE. 150 00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:51,280 AHH! 151 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:52,950 WANNA SEE MY BACKHAND? [giggles] 152 00:05:52,950 --> 00:05:54,950 - GENIE'S ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MATCHMAKERS 153 00:05:54,950 --> 00:05:55,780 I'VE EVER SEEN. 154 00:05:55,780 --> 00:05:56,950 - LET ME TRY. [grunts] 155 00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:57,980 - WOW, THERE SHE GOES. 156 00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:59,390 I'M INTOXICATED BY HER, 157 00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:01,020 AND I HOPE TO MAKE HER MY WIFE. 158 00:06:01,020 --> 00:06:02,060 - KI-YAH! 159 00:06:02,060 --> 00:06:03,490 HE'S AMAZING. 160 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:06,530 SORRY, COULD WE CUT? I-- 161 00:06:10,730 --> 00:06:12,300 - HE PLAYS MIKEY ON WHEELS: ONTARIO, 162 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,400 BUT YOU KNOW HIM BETTER AS THE ACTOR AND ENTERTAINER: 163 00:06:16,100 --> 00:06:17,340 THIS IS OUR WEEKLY CHEQUE-IN WITH OUR 164 00:06:17,340 --> 00:06:19,510 IN-HOUSE BRYANTOLOGISTS: THE HOFFMAN TWINS! 165 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:22,810 - HI, I'M SHELBY HOFFMAN. - I'M CAROL HOFFMAN. 166 00:06:22,810 --> 00:06:23,780 - WE'RE THE HOFFMAN TWINS. 167 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,480 - SO HERE'S WHAT'S NEW THIS WEEK. 168 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,780 - BRYAN THREW A TANTRUM. HE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO BED. 169 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:29,650 AND I DON'T BLAME HIM. 170 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,550 - WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT, MOM? - GO TO BED! 171 00:06:31,550 --> 00:06:33,320 - GO TO BED, MOM? - YES. 172 00:06:33,320 --> 00:06:34,760 - I'M NOT GOING TO BED, MOM! 173 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,090 - WHAT'S MOM'S PROBLEM? 174 00:06:36,090 --> 00:06:38,330 - GOING TO BED IS LAME. BUTT OUT, MUM. 175 00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:39,730 - I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED. [glass shatters] 176 00:06:39,730 --> 00:06:42,630 I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO BED. 177 00:06:42,630 --> 00:06:46,400 - HE JUST WANTED TO--HE JUST WANTED TO HANG WITH HIS HOMIES. 178 00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:47,000 - THANKS, GIRLS. 179 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,740 - AND BE SURE TO CATCH BRYAN IN THE SEASON PREMIERE OF... 180 00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,540 both: SHOW US YOUR SONGS COMMONWEALTH. 181 00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:54,240 - IN PRAISE OF THE CROWN. 182 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:55,940 - PREMIERING RIGHT NOW! 183 00:06:55,940 --> 00:06:58,110 - WELCOME TO SHOW US YOUR SONGS COMMONWEALTH. 184 00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:01,210 - AS YOU KNOW, EVERY FOUR YEARS WE OPEN UP SHOW US YOUR SONGS 185 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:04,250 TO ALL THE HAPPY CITIZENS OF THE QUEEN'S COMMONWEALTH. 186 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:07,720 - ALL 53 NATION STATES FROM ANTIGUA TO ZANZIBAR 187 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:08,290 ARE REPRESENTED, 188 00:07:08,290 --> 00:07:11,560 LEADING UP TO THE GREAT FINALE IN LONDON, ENGLAND. 189 00:07:11,560 --> 00:07:13,060 [horn instruments] 190 00:07:13,060 --> 00:07:16,930 - NOW, AS YOU KNOW, WE START THE AUDITION PROCESS RIGHT HERE 191 00:07:16,930 --> 00:07:17,630 IN, UH, THE MOTHERLAND. 192 00:07:17,630 --> 00:07:19,900 - LET'S SEE WHAT CANADA CAN BRING TO THE COMMONWEALTH. 193 00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:23,340 - HOPEFULLY WE'LL GET TO SEE ALL THEIR SONGS BEFORE YOUR BEDTIME. 194 00:07:23,340 --> 00:07:24,270 [both laugh] 195 00:07:24,270 --> 00:07:26,740 NOW, GOING TO BED ON TIME IS A BIG PART OF CANADIAN LIFE. 196 00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:28,740 - BUT SOMETIMES ONE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO BED, 197 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:29,510 SO ONE DOESN'T HAVE TO. 198 00:07:29,510 --> 00:07:32,280 - LET'S GET IT STARTED, HERE WE GO. 199 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,780 SHOW US YOUR SONGS! 200 00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:38,550 ALL RIGHT. 201 00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,420 WHAT'S YOUR NAME THERE? 202 00:07:39,420 --> 00:07:41,520 - UH, MY NAME'S ANGELA MACKENZIE-- 203 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:42,320 ANGELA MACKENZIE-NG. 204 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,820 - ANGIE, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW US YOUR SONGS? 205 00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:44,620 WHAT DO YOU GOT HERE THEN? 206 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:47,730 - TODAY I'M GONNA BE SINGING PLEEP PLOOP. 207 00:07:47,730 --> 00:07:50,100 - PLEEP PLOOP. GREAT. - AND A ONE, AND A TWO 208 00:07:50,100 --> 00:07:51,600 AND A ONE, TWO... 209 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,730 ♪ PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 210 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,570 ♪ PLEEP PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 211 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:57,500 ♪ PLA-PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 212 00:07:57,510 --> 00:08:00,810 ♪ PLEEP PLOOP, PLA-PLEEP PLOOP PLEEP ♪ 213 00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:02,710 [music stops] 214 00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:03,240 - ALL RIGHT. 215 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,950 - NOW, YOU'RE CLEARLY TALENTED AND YOU GOT THAT X-FACTOR, 216 00:08:06,950 --> 00:08:08,320 BUT UNFORTUNATELY-- - OKAY. 217 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,050 ♪ PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 218 00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:11,450 - ALL RIGHT. - ♪ PLA-PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 219 00:08:11,450 --> 00:08:13,650 ♪ PLEEP PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLOOP PLOOP ♪ 220 00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,190 ♪ PLA-PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 221 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,860 ♪ PLEEP PLOOP, PLA-PLEEP PLOOP PLEEP ♪ 222 00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,530 [music stops] - IS IT OVER? 223 00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:20,060 HA HA HA! 224 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,730 IS IT OVER? 'CAUSE I LOVED IT. 225 00:08:21,730 --> 00:08:22,830 - ♪ PLA-PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 226 00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:25,200 - OH! - WHOA. 227 00:08:25,200 --> 00:08:27,670 ♪ PLEEP PLOOP, PLA-PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 228 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,270 ♪ PLEEP PLEEP PLOOP, PLEEP PLOOP ♪ 229 00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:31,370 ♪ PLA-PLEEP PLOOP PLOOP ♪ 230 00:08:31,370 --> 00:08:34,940 [music stops] ♪ BABY IS A PLOOP PLOOP ♪ 231 00:08:34,940 --> 00:08:36,040 - YOU'RE GOING TO LONDON. 232 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,010 OKAY? YOU'RE GOING TO LONDON! 233 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:41,620 [musical fanfare] 234 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,780 - OKAY, SO WHAT'S YOUR NAME? - GORDON. 235 00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:45,790 - OH, HEY, GORDON. - HI. 236 00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:46,720 - ALL RIGHT, GORDO. - HELLO, GORDON! 237 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,520 - ALL RIGHT, I LIKE THE CUT OF YOUR JIB THERE, PAL. 238 00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:50,220 - THANK YOU. 239 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,760 - WHAT SORT OF FELLA ARE YOU? 240 00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:53,190 ARE YOU A MARRIED FELLA, OR... 241 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:56,260 - WELL, I WAS MARRIED, BUT MY WIFE PASSED AWAY 12 YEARS AGO 242 00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:59,330 DURING CHILDBIRTH. MY DAUGHTER WAS STILLBORN. 243 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,230 - OH. - YEAH, WHICH IS GREAT. 244 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,000 SHE'S 11 YEARS OLD NOW. 245 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,100 YOU KNOW, DESPITE THE DIFFICULT PREGNANCY, 246 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:05,870 SHE WAS STILL BORN, THANK THE LORD. 247 00:09:05,870 --> 00:09:09,140 - WELL, WE'RE GLAD YOUR DEAD DAUGHTER'S STILL ALIVE THERE. 248 00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:11,010 - THANK YOU. - LET'S SEE YOUR SONG, SIR. 249 00:09:11,010 --> 00:09:13,450 - OH, MY SONG IS MY WOOD. - UH! 250 00:09:13,450 --> 00:09:15,480 WHEN YOU FEAR THE WORST, SAFETY FIRST. 251 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:16,380 OKAY. - THANK YOU, GENE. 252 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:18,320 - WELL, LET'S, UH-- - I DON'T NEED TO GO TO BED, 253 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:19,290 AND I DON'T NEED TO WEAR GOGGLES. 254 00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:21,320 - WELL, THEN YOU MAY HAVE A PARTICULATE IN YOUR EYE 255 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,920 AFTER THIS BIG WOOD CHOP. LET'S SEE THAT, GORDO. 256 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:25,660 - [grunts] 257 00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:27,590 - ♪ YOU DID IT ♪ 258 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:29,000 - WHAT A FANDANGO HERE! - THANK YOU. 259 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,760 THANK YOU. - I JUST WANNA SAY, LIKE, 260 00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:34,330 EVERYONE THINKS OF CANADA AS A BUNCH OF DEAD LUMBERJACKS. 261 00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:36,970 WE MAY WANT SOME ACTS THAT FEEL JUST LIKE MORE MODERN 262 00:09:36,970 --> 00:09:38,810 AND NOT LIKE A BIG OAF... - THANK YOU. 263 00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,340 - WHO DRINKS MAPLE SYRUP AND CHOPS WOOD FOR A LIVING. 264 00:09:41,340 --> 00:09:42,940 - OH, YEAH? WELL, I, UH, I HAVE A FEELING 265 00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:46,310 THE YAK THAT THEY SLAUGHTERED TO MAKE YOUR VEST. 266 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,780 IS STILL SCREAMING IN HELL, OKAY? 267 00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:51,050 WE'RE TAKING YOU TO LONDON, AND THAT'S THAT! 268 00:09:51,050 --> 00:09:52,820 WE'RE SENDING EVERYONE TO LONDON. 269 00:09:52,820 --> 00:09:53,950 - THANK YOU. - THIS IS 270 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,420 SHOW US YOUR SONGS COMMONWEALTH. 271 00:09:55,420 --> 00:09:57,260 - I'VE AUDITIONED FOR... 272 00:09:57,260 --> 00:09:59,490 120 THINGS, PROBABLY. - MM-HMM. 273 00:09:59,490 --> 00:10:01,030 - I'VE BEEN A REGULAR ON TWO THINGS-- 274 00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:04,300 A SHOW THAT I CREATED CALLED MULANEY, AND YOUR SHOW. 275 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,170 AND THAT'S IT. [both laughing] 276 00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:07,930 I HAD TO DO A STARBURST COMMERCIAL 277 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:10,240 WHERE, LIKE, IT WAS LIKE A SHIRTLESS GUY 278 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,670 CARRYING A DOG. [both chuckle] 279 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:14,310 SO THEY'RE LIKE, "TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF." 280 00:10:14,310 --> 00:10:16,780 THIS IS ALREADY THE WORST. AND THEN THEY-- 281 00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:17,740 THEY DIDN'T HAVE A DOG, 282 00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:19,750 SO THEY HANDED ME LIKE A BOX OF TISSUES. 283 00:10:19,750 --> 00:10:21,650 AND I WAS LIKE, "WELL, IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DOG, 284 00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:23,380 "HOW COME I HAVE TO TAKE MY SHIRT OFF? 285 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:24,920 ALSO, I'M NOT GONNA GET IT." 286 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:26,820 - WELL, WE KNOW WHAT A DOG LOOKS LIKE. 287 00:10:26,820 --> 00:10:29,590 BUT WE CAN ONLY ASSUME WHAT YOUR MACARONI BODY 288 00:10:29,590 --> 00:10:31,860 AS IT APPEARS TO BE. - WE DON'T KNOW WHAT 289 00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:34,230 YOUR MR. BURNS BODY WILL LOOK LIKE. 290 00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:35,660 [end chords] 291 00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:38,770 - OH! - OH... 292 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:41,330 - HELLO! - [chuckling] HELLO. 293 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:42,870 - [sighs] WHAT'S GOING ON? 294 00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:45,510 - I BROKE BOTH MY LEGS 'CAUSE GEORGE ST. GEEGLAND 295 00:10:45,510 --> 00:10:47,270 WANTED TO LEAVE NEW YORK. 296 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:47,670 - YEAH. 297 00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,510 - UH, THAT DOESN'T REALLY-- YOU BROKE-- 298 00:10:49,510 --> 00:10:51,680 - HE BROKE BOTH HIS LEGS 'CAUSE GEORGE ST. GEEGLAND, 299 00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,910 WHO WAS ME, WANTED TO LEAVE NEW YORK. 300 00:10:52,910 --> 00:10:55,220 - I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO USE A DIFFERENT DOCTOR. 301 00:10:55,220 --> 00:10:56,620 - YOU'RE LIKE A DORE-TER TO US. 302 00:10:56,620 --> 00:10:58,450 - A DAUGHTER THAT WE PRANKED WITH TOO MUCH TUNA, 303 00:10:58,450 --> 00:10:59,290 WHICH WILL BE COMING SHORTLY. 304 00:10:59,290 --> 00:11:01,760 - YOU'VE BEEN PRANKING ME SINCE I WAS AN INTERN, 305 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,960 AND IT GETS LESS FUNNY EVERY TIME YOU DO IT. 306 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,190 THE FIRST TIME'S THE BEST. 307 00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:07,630 SECOND TIME, THIRD TIME, FOURTH-- 308 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:08,760 IT STARTS TO LOSE ITS APPEAL. 309 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:11,630 - WE DID PRANK HER BUT GOOD. AND THEN I KEYED YOUR CAR. 310 00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:14,970 AND YOUR CHEAP CAR LOOKED LIKE [bleep] AFTER I KEYED IT. 311 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:17,440 - I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAD TO DO THAT. 312 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:19,040 - ARE YOU UNMARRIED? 313 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:20,840 - I-I AM UNMARRIED, YES. 314 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,110 - INTERESTING. I HAVE A SON. 315 00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,150 MAYBE HE COULD SET UP A CAMCORDER 316 00:11:25,150 --> 00:11:26,550 AND YOU AND I GO AT IT LIKE WOLFS. 317 00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:29,080 - CAN YOU NOT USE THE LATEX GLOVES, ACTUALLY? 318 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,220 - THIS IS INCLUDED IN MY HEALTH COVERAGE. 319 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,090 I HAVE A OSAMACARE. 320 00:11:32,090 --> 00:11:34,220 - YOU MEAN OBAMACARE? - NO. 321 00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,060 WE'RE ON A COBRA PLAN FROM... 322 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:37,560 - FROM AL-QAEDA. - YEAH. 323 00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:38,790 WELL, I FORGET NOW THE DETAILS, 324 00:11:38,790 --> 00:11:40,430 BUT WE DID GIVE THEM A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY. 325 00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:42,160 - YOU REALLY DONATED MONEY TO AL-QAEDA? 326 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,330 - YEAH, WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THEY WERE GONNA GET INTO. 327 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,670 - ALL THEY WERE DOING BACK THEN WAS... 328 00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:48,600 WELL... - ACTUALLY, 329 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,170 YOU'RE TOTALLY UNCOVERED, AND THAT'S FINE. 330 00:11:51,170 --> 00:11:52,370 WE DON'T TURN ANYBODY AWAY. 331 00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:54,840 - WE'RE ABOUT TO PRANK HER WITH TOO MUCH TUNA. 332 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:56,880 - SHE IS REALLY ABOUT TO GET IT. 333 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:57,910 - YOU COULD JUST LEAVE. 334 00:11:57,910 --> 00:12:01,550 YOU COULD GO CROSS-COUNTRY AND PRANK OTHER PEOPLE. 335 00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:03,520 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN-- LEAVE THE CITY? 336 00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:04,720 - YEAH. - LIKE WE HAD PLANNED 337 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:05,790 BEFORE GEORGE ST. GEEGLAND 338 00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:07,790 TRIED TO THROW ME OFF OF AN ELEVATOR SHAFT? 339 00:12:07,790 --> 00:12:10,260 - MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE OUR PRANKS AND OUR LIVES 340 00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:11,830 ON THE ROAD. - I'VE BEEN THINKING 341 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,460 ABOUT LEAVING NEW YORK MYSELF. 342 00:12:13,460 --> 00:12:15,400 NEW YORK IS NOT WHAT IT USED TO BE. 343 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,130 MARS BAR CLOSED. THERE'S NO MORE CBGB'S. 344 00:12:18,130 --> 00:12:19,530 [flatline tone] - [muttering] 345 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:22,770 OH! OH, THIS PATIENT IS DYING! 346 00:12:22,770 --> 00:12:24,270 [both laughing] 347 00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:26,870 OR IS HE VERY MUCH ALIVE? 348 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,010 [musical fanfare] 349 00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:30,540 - GREAT. IT'S A... [both chortling] 350 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:32,680 CAKE MADE OUT OF TUNA THAT SAYS 351 00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:35,080 "GET BENT." - TRANSLATION-- 352 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:35,880 GET STUFFED. 353 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,320 - THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST WRITE GET STUFFED ON IT? 354 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,250 - 'CAUSE WE COULDN'T FIT IT ON THE CAKE. 355 00:12:40,260 --> 00:12:44,620 - NOW, WHY DON'T YOU DROP YOUR SKIRT AND TOUCH THE FLOOR? 356 00:12:47,190 --> 00:12:49,200 [upbeat music] 357 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,760 - SOME OF THEM LOOK PROMISING. 358 00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:53,030 IT'S NOT THE WORST WE'VE DONE. 359 00:12:53,030 --> 00:12:56,100 WOW! THERE ARE A LOT OF LOSERS HERE TODAY, 360 00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:59,440 BUT ONLY ONE CAN WIN AT THE LOSER'S BRACKET. 361 00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,610 INTRODUCING THE MAN OF YOUR CURRENT REALITY, 362 00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:03,640 DR. ARMOND! 363 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:08,110 SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS A PREMIER PLASTIC SURGEON. 364 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,680 - FOR DOGS. - OTHERS... 365 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,280 AN ACCUSED MURDERER. - OF WOMEN. 366 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,590 [laughter] - CALM DOWN, LADIES. 367 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:14,120 HEY, HEY, TWO DRINK MAXIMUM. 368 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,820 - I FELT LIKE I WAS BEATING THESE BEAUTIFUL WOMEN OFF 369 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:18,460 LIKE FLIES. 370 00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:19,930 WOW. [smack] AMAZING. [smack] 371 00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:20,890 SIMPLY GORGEOUS. [smack] 372 00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,260 I THINK I'VE BEEN SURROUNDED. 373 00:13:22,260 --> 00:13:23,660 - IS THE SPECIAL SURPRISE READY? 374 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:26,130 I'M BRINGING IN THE FORENSIC DUMMY 375 00:13:26,130 --> 00:13:27,730 USED IN ARMOND'S MURDER TRIAL. 376 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,000 BECAUSE I NEED TO TEST HIM. - YEAH, WE'RE GOOD. 377 00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:31,170 - HE'S GONNA BE PRETTY SURPRISED 378 00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,440 WITH WHAT I'VE GOT UP MY SLEEVES. 379 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:34,240 - YEAH, 'CAUSE IT'S A REALLY WEIRD IDEA. 380 00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:36,380 - BUT THE ONLY THING I'M GUILTY OF 381 00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,580 IS BEING INTRIGUED BY Y'ALL. 382 00:13:38,580 --> 00:13:39,250 [laughter] 383 00:13:39,250 --> 00:13:41,450 - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? - I DON'T KNOW. 384 00:13:41,450 --> 00:13:42,920 [phone playing tune] - OH, YOU'LL HAVE TO EXCUSE ME. 385 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,880 THAT'S MY DEAD WIFE'S SONG. THAT'S MY RING TONE. 386 00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:47,350 I'M HOPING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN HELP ME CHANGE IT. 387 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,690 - DON'T BRING UP THE TRIAL. DON'T BRING UP THE TRIAL. 388 00:13:49,690 --> 00:13:52,290 - OH...IT'S MY GOOD FRIEND KELSEY... 389 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,290 - [gasps] 390 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,590 - GRAMMER. 391 00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,260 - [gasps] 392 00:13:55,260 --> 00:13:56,800 KELSEY GRAMMER? SAY WHAT? 393 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,570 - YOU'RE IMPRESSED WITH JUST KELSEY? 394 00:13:58,570 --> 00:14:01,530 - WHILE MOST PEOPLE KNOW KELSEY AS A GREAT ACTOR... 395 00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:05,000 I KNOW HIM AS MY BEST FRIEND. 396 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:06,210 KELSEY, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME. 397 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,780 I'M SURROUNDED BY TEN BEAUTIFUL WOMEN RIGHT NOW. 398 00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:12,910 BUT I'M LOOKING AROUND THIS ROOM AND THINKING I'M OVER HER. 399 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,750 [women murmuring] 400 00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:16,120 SO I'VE-- 401 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,220 [glass shatters] 402 00:14:17,220 --> 00:14:18,150 THERE SHE IS. 403 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:20,920 IT'S THE FORENSIC DUMMY OF MY DEAD WIFE SHANNON. 404 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:22,720 THIS BRINGS BACK A LOT OF MEMORIES. 405 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,460 - I HAVE TO HAVE A FRANK TALK WITH ARMOND. 406 00:14:25,460 --> 00:14:26,230 DR. ARMOND, EXCUSE ME. 407 00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,330 COME WITH ME. - PARDONNEZ-MOI, LADIES. FRENCH. 408 00:14:28,330 --> 00:14:29,560 - YOUR HEAD IS NOT IN THIS GAME. 409 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,830 - YOU HAVE SUCH A KEEN SENSE OF ME, GENIE. 410 00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:34,530 - I KNOW I DO. IT'S MY JOB. 411 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,070 - LET'S THROW CAUTION TO THE WALL... 412 00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:38,710 AND LOG ONE UP... 413 00:14:38,710 --> 00:14:40,010 [slide whistle] 414 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:42,340 [silence] 415 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,380 [thwack] FOR LOVE. 416 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:45,040 - LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE IN A LOT OF PAIN. 417 00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,680 - I HAVE TO ADMIT, IT HAS BEEN A BLUE PERIOD, 418 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:48,250 LIKE PICASSO. 419 00:14:48,250 --> 00:14:50,080 I LOVE FRANCE. I KNOW HE'S FROM SPAIN, 420 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,750 BUT THERE WAS A LOT OF CROSS-POLLINATION. 421 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,120 [bzzzzzz] 422 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,320 - OKAY, YOU HAVE A VERY IMPRESSIVE BRAIN. 423 00:14:56,320 --> 00:14:58,220 - AND IT'S FILLED TO THE BRIM. - BUT I NEED YOU 424 00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,130 TO GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. - OKAY. 425 00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:00,990 - AND FEEL! - SURE. 426 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,560 - CLOSE YOUR EYES. - HERE WE GO. 427 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,900 - THINK BACK TO THE MOMENT 428 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:06,630 YOU FOUND YOUR WIFE'S LIFELESS BODY. 429 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,770 [eerie music] 430 00:15:07,770 --> 00:15:09,100 - SACRE BLEU! - WHAT IS IT? 431 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:11,670 - I KNOW WHO MURDERED MY WIFE. 432 00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:15,070 [suspenseful music] 433 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,310 - WAS IT YOU? 434 00:15:16,310 --> 00:15:17,280 - NO. 435 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:18,210 [plink, plink] 436 00:15:18,210 --> 00:15:20,480 [dramatic chords] 437 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,450 - DR. ARMOND SAYS WHOLE PARAGRAPHS 438 00:15:22,450 --> 00:15:24,420 WHERE YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY MEAN 439 00:15:24,420 --> 00:15:25,450 UNTIL THE LAST WORD. 440 00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:28,150 AND THEN THEY FINALLY JUST LAND ON THE GROUND. 441 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:31,020 AND EVERYONE'S RELIEVED BECAUSE HE GOT IT OUT. 442 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:33,960 WOULDN'T YOU SAY? - HE'S BECOME ENTIRELY 443 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,830 JUST A, LIKE, JOKE TELLER. 444 00:15:35,830 --> 00:15:37,460 - WELL, NOT ENTIRELY A JOKE TELLER, 445 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,470 BECAUSE HE'S ALSO A PANTOMIME ARTIST... 446 00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:40,870 AND AT THIS POINT, PANTOMIMES 447 00:15:40,870 --> 00:15:44,000 EVERY LINE OF DIALOGUE, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL. 448 00:15:44,010 --> 00:15:45,670 [upbeat music] - ALL RIGHT, CANADA, 449 00:15:45,670 --> 00:15:47,410 TUCK THOSE LITTLE ONES IN BED, 450 00:15:47,410 --> 00:15:48,880 AND LET US SERENADE YOU 451 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,680 WITH SHOW US YOUR SONGS! 452 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,080 [upbeat music ends] 453 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,980 - [grunting] 454 00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:58,050 UUHHHH... 455 00:15:58,050 --> 00:15:59,420 - [softly] WHOO! 456 00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:01,720 - UHH! UHHHHH! UUUUHHH! - WHOA! 457 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,090 - UHH! - BULL! 458 00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,330 THAT'S A STRONG MAN! 459 00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:07,860 - IT'S A HEAVY COW. - WELL... 460 00:16:07,860 --> 00:16:09,430 YOU'RE SCARING THE CRAP OUTTA ME, 461 00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:10,500 BUT I WANNA SEND YOU TO LONDON 462 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,970 JUST 'CAUSE I LIKE IT! [cheerful music] 463 00:16:12,970 --> 00:16:14,770 - UHHH! 464 00:16:14,770 --> 00:16:15,600 - OH! - WOW! 465 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,640 - YOU KNOW WHAT, UH, CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE HAND HERE? 466 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:20,870 I'M HAVING TROUBLE, UH, BUSTING THESE OPEN. 467 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,410 - UH-HUH. I'M STRONG. 468 00:16:22,410 --> 00:16:24,410 - YEAH, JUST COME ON OVER HERE. 469 00:16:24,410 --> 00:16:27,610 - HE'S SO STRONG! - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 470 00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,620 COME ON. JUST A LITTLE BIT FURTHER, 471 00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,180 AND THEN WE'LL BE AT THE CASHEWS. 472 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:33,090 OHH...I NEED SOME PROTEIN DURING THE DAY 473 00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:35,860 OR ELSE I, UH, JUST GET SO--I DON'T KNOW-- 474 00:16:35,860 --> 00:16:38,020 OUT OF IT! - P-PEANUTS? 475 00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:38,660 - YEAH, YEAH. 476 00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:40,560 WELL, WHY DON'T YOU GET THOSE OPEN, 477 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:42,330 AND I'LL LET YOU HAVE ONE. 478 00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:45,930 [paper crinkling] - EH... 479 00:16:45,930 --> 00:16:47,070 AH... 480 00:16:47,070 --> 00:16:48,000 - OH! 481 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,400 - ♪ YOU DID IT ♪ - WHOA! 482 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,540 [laughing] - FOUR STARS! 483 00:16:51,540 --> 00:16:54,670 - ♪ YOU MADE THE STARS SO BRIGHT FOR ME ♪ 484 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,850 - AND NOW, THE WORLD PREMIERE OF BRYAN'S NEW MUSIC VIDEO 485 00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,510 IN... 486 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,120 - WHY DON'T YOU GET OUT, MOM? - GO TO BED! 487 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,750 - I'M GOING TO BED, MOM! - YES, GO TO BED! 488 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:09,760 - I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED! I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED! 489 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,830 [musical buildup] 490 00:17:12,830 --> 00:17:15,460 - P-P-PAINFUL MUSIC. 491 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:16,200 - LACROIX! 492 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,060 LACROIX, LACROIX, MY BOY! 493 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:20,730 - ♪ HEY, MOM, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL, WELL ♪ 494 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:23,340 ♪ BUT I'M HANGING WITH MY BOYS TONIGHT ♪ 495 00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:25,970 - LOONEY BIN! - ♪ WE SIPPIN' SODA POP ♪ 496 00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:27,810 ♪ AND MOOSEINEX, INEX ♪ 497 00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,480 ♪ STAYIN' UP TILL THE MORNING LIGHT ♪ 498 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:33,210 SLAP SHOT! ♪ OTTAWANNA GO TO BED ♪ 499 00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:34,380 ♪ MOM, MOM ♪ 500 00:17:34,380 --> 00:17:36,350 ♪ WE'RE TRYING TO TEXT SOME GIRLS ♪ 501 00:17:36,350 --> 00:17:37,850 ♪ WE LIKE, WE LIKE ♪ [text chime] 502 00:17:37,850 --> 00:17:40,320 ♪ SO GET THE HECK OUT OF MY ROOM, MOM ♪ 503 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,660 - GET OUT! ♪ MOM, ME AND THE LOONEY BIN ♪ 504 00:17:42,660 --> 00:17:46,790 ♪ ARE HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH ♪ 505 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:48,130 ♪ OTTAWA OTTAWA ♪ 506 00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:50,030 ♪ OTTAWANNA GO TO BED ♪ 507 00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:51,600 ♪ OTTAWA OTTAWA ♪ 508 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,230 ♪ OTTAWANNA GO TO BED ♪ 509 00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:54,830 ♪ OTTAWA OTTAWA ♪ 510 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,740 ♪ OTTAWANNA GO TO BED ♪ 511 00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:58,240 ♪ OTTAWA OTTAWA ♪ 512 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,140 ♪ I TORONTO GO TO BED ♪ 513 00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:01,740 ♪ MES AMIS, MES AMIS ♪ 514 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:03,480 ♪ OTTAWANNA GO TO BED ♪ 515 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,110 ♪ MANITOBA, MANITOBA ♪ 516 00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:06,850 ♪ GO, MISS MANITOBA ♪ 517 00:18:06,850 --> 00:18:08,180 ♪ MANITOBA, MANITOBA ♪ 518 00:18:08,180 --> 00:18:11,020 - BRYAN'S NEW SONG DROPPED! 519 00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,450 IT'S JUST INCREDIBLE! 520 00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:13,790 A REAL DEPARTURE! 521 00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:16,490 I WISH I WAS IN THE LOONEY BIN! 522 00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,360 - ALL RIGHT! ALL THE WAY FROM, UH, EUROPE, 523 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:23,460 WE GOT THIS NEXT GUY. SHOW US YOUR SONG. 524 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:24,900 - I HAVE MANY SONGS. 525 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,930 FOR EXAMPLE, I CAN DRINK A TINY COFFEE 526 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:29,970 EVERY ONE HALF HOUR, TWO HALF HOUR. 527 00:18:29,970 --> 00:18:33,410 - WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO THERE? - ONE OF MY SONGS 528 00:18:33,410 --> 00:18:34,410 IS TO WEAR A SHORT PANT. 529 00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:38,040 ANOTHER ONE OF MY SONG IS TO HIDE IN PLAIN SIGHT. 530 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:41,010 [ominous music] - THAT'S THE COOLEST PLACE 531 00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,580 TO HIDE. - HOW DO YOU DO THAT? 532 00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,750 - I FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW SOMETHING 533 00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:47,350 THAT I DON'T KNOW. - A SHOUT-OUT TO DR. ARMOND. 534 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:48,890 YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME, 535 00:18:48,890 --> 00:18:49,890 AND ALSO, UM, 536 00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:51,660 THE SATAN POWER THAT LIVES INSIDE OF ME-- 537 00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,990 I AM THE DEVIL. I AM THE KILLER. 538 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,530 - SACRE BLEU. - WHAT IS IT? 539 00:18:55,530 --> 00:18:58,060 - I KNOW WHO MURDERED MY WIFE. 540 00:18:58,070 --> 00:18:59,100 [rock music] 541 00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:01,430 [siren whoops] 542 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,340 - SO YOU GOT A LEAD ON A KILLER? 543 00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:04,270 I'M DETECTIVE SMART. 544 00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:07,670 - YEAH. I THINK IT WAS SHANNON'S VOCAL COACH. 545 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,510 - ♪ OH, ARMOND ♪ 546 00:19:09,510 --> 00:19:11,910 ♪ YOU'RE...♪ 547 00:19:11,910 --> 00:19:13,810 - SHE HAD A VOCAL COACH? 548 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,850 - DETECTIVE SMART, I SAW HIM THAT DAY. 549 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:17,080 I MUST HAVE SUPPRESSED THE MEMORY 550 00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:19,850 AFTER THE SHOCK OF SEEING SHANNON'S BODY. 551 00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:21,890 OH...SLEEPING BEAUTY. 552 00:19:21,890 --> 00:19:23,190 LOOKS LIKE YOU NEED TO BE AWOKEN 553 00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:25,120 BY A KISS FROM PRINCE CHARMING. 554 00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,590 [thunder rumbles] 555 00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:27,260 - FREEZE! 556 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:29,260 - OH, MY. SHE HAS NO PULSE. 557 00:19:29,260 --> 00:19:32,030 - KEEP AWAY FROM THE GIRL. - DON'T TAKE ME AWAY. 558 00:19:32,030 --> 00:19:34,100 THAT'S MY WIFE! [dramatic music] 559 00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:37,470 - OH, ARMOND, YOU ARE ONE HALF HOUR TOO LATE. 560 00:19:37,470 --> 00:19:38,940 [chortling] 561 00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:41,710 - SO WHAT'S THIS GUY'S NAME? - I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME. 562 00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:42,910 THAT'S THE FUNNY THING. 563 00:19:42,910 --> 00:19:43,610 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 564 00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:46,150 - HE WAS LIVING IN THE U.S. ON AN EXPIRED GREEN CARD. 565 00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:47,950 IT WAS UNCLEAR WHERE IN EUROPE HE'S FROM, 566 00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:49,720 BUT I KNOW THAT HE WAS DEFINITELY A EUROPEAN. 567 00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,880 LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO FRANCE AFTER ALL. 568 00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:52,620 - NO, NO, NO, NO. 569 00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:53,790 WE GOTTA TAKE THIS DOWN TO THE STATION. 570 00:19:53,790 --> 00:19:56,560 - OH, COME ON. I'LL POP FOR PLANE TICKETS... 571 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:57,720 PARTNER. - SORRY, DOC. 572 00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:58,930 THIS IS OFFICIAL POLICE BUSINESS NOW. 573 00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,890 - BUT WHAT WILL THE POLICE DO IF THE KILLER'S IN EUROPE? 574 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,630 - BYE-BYE, ARMOND. 575 00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:05,000 - IT'LL BE OUTSIDE OF THEIR JURISDICTION, WON'T IT? 576 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,500 - I DON'T KNOW. I'M JUST A COP. 577 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,970 - NO, YOU'RE NOT JUST A COP, DETECTIVE SMART. 578 00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:11,740 YOU'RE MY BEST MALE FRIEND BESIDES KELSEY GRAMMER. 579 00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:13,440 - AH! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 580 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,510 - THAT WAS A LITTLE PRICK TO SEDATE YOU. 581 00:20:15,510 --> 00:20:17,440 THIS ONE... WILL MAKE YOU 582 00:20:17,450 --> 00:20:20,010 LOSE CONTROL OF YOUR MUSCLES FOR A LITTLE WHILE. 583 00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:21,810 THIS IS A B12 SHOT. - OHH! 584 00:20:21,820 --> 00:20:23,920 - THIS... - NO, NO, NO. 585 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:24,750 STOP IT! 586 00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,120 - LET IT GO. LET IT HAPPEN. 587 00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:28,220 - YOU SICKO FREAK! 588 00:20:28,220 --> 00:20:29,490 - THIS ONE WILL KNOCK YOU OUT FOR ENOUGH TIME 589 00:20:29,490 --> 00:20:31,420 SO THAT I CAN SAY GOOD-BYE TO MY BEAUTIFUL SON ROMAN. 590 00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:33,790 AND WHEN YOU AWAKE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE VERY LITTLE BLOOD SUGAR, 591 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,660 SO I'VE GIVEN YOU THIS ORANGE. 592 00:20:35,660 --> 00:20:36,330 [squish] 593 00:20:36,330 --> 00:20:38,000 YOU'RE A WONDERFUL LAWMAN... 594 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:38,860 AND A TERRIFIC FRIEND, 595 00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:41,870 AND NOW, DETECTIVE SMART, I'M OFF TO CATCH THE KILLER. 596 00:20:41,870 --> 00:20:46,570 UNLESS HE CATCHES ME FIRST BECAUSE, LET'S BE HONEST... 597 00:20:46,570 --> 00:20:48,040 I'M QUITE A CATCH. 598 00:20:48,040 --> 00:20:50,310 [siren whooping] [rock music] 599 00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:52,980 - ♪ TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH ♪ 600 00:20:52,980 --> 00:20:58,450 ♪ TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH LOVE ♪ 601 00:20:58,450 --> 00:21:01,720 - HA HA. GOOD AT BIZNESS. 602 00:21:02,420 --> 00:21:04,620 - OW! 603 00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:07,760 - I WENT THROUGH SCENE AFTER SCENE AFTER SCENE, 604 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:08,630 AND I DIDN'T SEE MY NAME. 605 00:21:08,630 --> 00:21:10,060 IT WAS UNBELIEVABLY CRUEL OF YOU, AND I-- 606 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:12,330 - GOD DAMN IT, YOU WANT BREAKING BAD IN KROLL SHOW. 607 00:21:12,330 --> 00:21:15,430 GOD DAMN IT! - WITH THE SAME AMOUNT OF LINES. 608 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,570 [laughter] 609 00:21:16,570 --> 00:21:20,710 THAT'S THE GENIUS! THE GENIUS OF MY CAREER! 44676

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