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1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,160
[dubstep music]
2
00:00:04,170 --> 00:00:07,400
- GIGOLO HOUSE MEETING
RIGHT NOW!
3
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,540
- CIRCLE UP, GIGOLOS!
4
00:00:08,540 --> 00:00:12,070
SO GIGOLO HOUSE IS VERY MUCH
A VERITABLE MESS RIGHT NOW.
5
00:00:12,070 --> 00:00:14,540
AND EAGLE WING,
AS THE HEAD OF GIGOLO HOUSE,
6
00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:16,210
NEEDS TO VERY MUCH TAKE CONTROL.
7
00:00:16,210 --> 00:00:18,680
- OKAY, WE ARE UNDER THREAT.
8
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,680
IT IS GIGOLOS
VERSUS SOME APP CALLED "LUBER."
9
00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:25,290
IT MAKES IT SO THAT ANYBODY
CAN BE A GIGOLO.
10
00:00:25,290 --> 00:00:25,920
- ANYBODY.
11
00:00:25,920 --> 00:00:27,190
- SO ANYONE WITH A DICK
BETWEEN HIS LEGS
12
00:00:27,190 --> 00:00:29,760
CAN COME TO YOUR HOUSE
AND JACKHAMMER [bleep] YOU
13
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,390
UNTIL COMPLETION.
14
00:00:30,390 --> 00:00:32,230
- [electronic voice]
GIGOLO SELECTED.
15
00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:32,960
[doorbell]
16
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,830
- WELCOME THE COMPETITION.
17
00:00:35,830 --> 00:00:37,730
- HEY, FELLAS, I'M THE GIGOLO.
18
00:00:37,730 --> 00:00:39,270
- STEVE?
- TIM?
19
00:00:39,270 --> 00:00:40,170
- HEY, I GO BY BOTH.
20
00:00:40,170 --> 00:00:41,670
- GET THE [bleep] IN HERE,
ASSHOLE.
21
00:00:41,670 --> 00:00:42,270
- I'M SORRY.
22
00:00:42,270 --> 00:00:43,540
- THIS PIECE OF [bleep]
IS TRYING TO PUT US
23
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:44,740
OUT OF BUSINESS.
- THIS IS THE LITTLE MOUSE
24
00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:48,510
TIC TAC WHO'S SLITHERING IN,
AND EATING ALL OUR CHEESE.
25
00:00:48,510 --> 00:00:49,610
- WAIT A MINUTE,
"OUR MOUSE TIC TAC"?
26
00:00:49,610 --> 00:00:52,280
WHAT IS THAT?
- IT'S A BREATH FRESHENER
27
00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,080
THAT'S MADE OF MICE.
28
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,420
- BOBBY,
WE TALKED ABOUT YOUR BURNS.
29
00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:57,720
THEY'RE TERRIBLE.
CT, PLEASE WORK WITH HIM.
30
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,590
- NOT A PROBLEM.
- NO, BUZZSAW, YOU'RE NOT CT.
31
00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:02,820
THIS PASTY PIECE OF GARBAGE
IN BOAT SHOES
32
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,830
IS WHY WE'VE GOT LESS MONEY
COMING INTO THE HOUSE,
33
00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:07,630
WHICH IS WHY
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
34
00:01:07,630 --> 00:01:09,560
LET SOME PEOPLE GO.
- WE GOT TO STICK TOGETHER.
35
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:10,230
both: WHAT?
36
00:01:10,230 --> 00:01:11,230
- BRO.
- ARE YOU JOKING?
37
00:01:11,230 --> 00:01:12,330
- EXCUSE ME?
- HOW COULD YOU
38
00:01:12,330 --> 00:01:13,900
GET RID OF YOUR BROTHERS?
39
00:01:13,900 --> 00:01:15,700
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS
TO YOUR BROTHERHOOD?
40
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- THE WAY I SEE IT,
THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO DECIDE
41
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WHO STAYS AND WHO GOES.
[voice echoing]
42
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- I'M HAPPY TO LEAVE ANYTIME.
43
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- NO, SHUT UP.
YOU STAY.
44
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EVERYBODY PLAYS FOR SURVIVAL,
45
00:01:32,220 --> 00:01:35,020
A GIGOLO HOUSE ELIMINATION.
46
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:35,890
- YO, WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
47
00:01:35,890 --> 00:01:39,230
- I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S
ABOUT TO HAPPEN, BUT LET'S GO.
48
00:01:39,230 --> 00:01:42,400
[hard rock music]
49
00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,700
♪ ♪
50
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- WELCOME TO GIGOLO HORSE.
51
00:01:49,340 --> 00:01:51,710
I'M MARC XYZ,
52
00:01:51,710 --> 00:01:55,440
AND TODAY OUR GIGOLO WILL BE
COMPETING IN A GAME OF HORSE
53
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:58,150
TO SEE WHO WILL STAY
AND WHO WILL GO.
54
00:01:58,150 --> 00:02:00,980
- WE'RE NOT WHORES, BRO.
WE'RE PROFESSIONALS.
55
00:02:00,980 --> 00:02:03,880
- NO, NOT "WHORES."
HORSE.
56
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:06,320
- ALL RIGHT.
- H-O--ALL RIGHT, WHAT?
57
00:02:06,320 --> 00:02:07,960
- WHERE IS IT?
- WHERE IS WHAT?
58
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,760
- THE HORSE?
BRING OUT THE HORSE.
59
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:10,620
I'LL [bleep] THE HORSE.
60
00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:12,190
- ANYONE EVER PLAYED
BASKETBALL?
61
00:02:12,190 --> 00:02:12,960
- I PLAYED A LITTLE BIT.
62
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,800
JUST LIKE IN THE DRIVEWAY,
NOT LIKE--
63
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,900
- SURE.
- IT WASN'T, LIKE,
64
00:02:15,900 --> 00:02:17,360
AN ORGANIZED LEAGUE OR ANY--
65
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,270
I SHOULD NOT--
I OVERSTATED IT.
66
00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:20,730
I'VE NOT PLAYED BASKETBALL.
67
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:22,270
- STRAIGHT UP,
I HAVE NO IDEA
68
00:02:22,270 --> 00:02:23,670
WHAT'S HAPPENING
WITH GIGOLO HORSE.
69
00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:26,040
- UNLESS IT'S A HORSE
THAT'S A GIGOLO,
70
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:26,810
AND THAT'S SCARY, DUDE,
71
00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:28,940
'CAUSE THAT HORSE
IS GONNA HURT YOUR BODY,
72
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:30,510
LIKE, IF YOU'RE A PERSON.
73
00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:31,280
- IF IT'S COMPETITIVE,
74
00:02:31,280 --> 00:02:34,880
THEN CT'S ON MY TEAM,
'CAUSE THIS KID'S A MONSTER.
75
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:37,180
- EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M A MONSTER.
76
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,650
IT'S JUST WHAT IT IS.
77
00:02:38,650 --> 00:02:39,190
- THANKS.
78
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:41,190
- NO, BUZZSAW.
YOU'RE NOT CT.
79
00:02:41,190 --> 00:02:42,820
- ANYWAY,
I'M HERE TO BE YOUR HOST,
80
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:48,230
AND I'M ALSO YOUR JUDGE,
BUT I'M NOT JUDGING ALONE.
81
00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:48,630
- WHAT?
82
00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:50,060
- TO HELP US JUDGE
TODAY'S EVENT,
83
00:02:50,070 --> 00:02:53,200
WE BROUGHT
FRIEND OF THE SHOW...
84
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FORMER FEMALE GIGOLO,
FARLEY.
85
00:02:57,840 --> 00:02:58,840
[Draztic Music's Back It Up]
86
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,240
- ♪ I LOOK AT HER
SHE LOOK AT ME ♪
87
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,910
♪ TELL YOU, BABY,
WHAT YOU SEE ♪
88
00:03:02,910 --> 00:03:05,110
- FARLEY?
JUDGING ME?
89
00:03:05,110 --> 00:03:07,110
ARE YOU JOKING ME, BRO?
90
00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:07,810
- NO.
91
00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:11,220
GENTLEMEN, I WILL BE
FAIR AND IMBALANCED,
92
00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:13,420
SOMETHING YOU COULD NEVER DO,
BOBBY,
93
00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:15,420
WITH ALL YOUR DUMB EMOTIONS.
94
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:17,930
- WHAT AN INTERESTING
TURN OF EVENTS
95
00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:21,560
ON THIS EPISODE
OF "GIGOLO HORSE."
96
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,660
- LET'S [bleep] THIS HORSE!
97
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:26,770
[dubstep music]
98
00:03:26,770 --> 00:03:35,080
♪ ♪
99
00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:41,650
- HOW DO YOU THINK
BOBBY AND FARLEY DO
100
00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:42,620
WITH THEIR DISAGREEMENTS?
101
00:03:42,620 --> 00:03:46,190
- IN A WAY, THEY HAVE
A KIND OF A THROWBACK,
102
00:03:46,190 --> 00:03:49,920
YOU KNOW, "UNTHERAPIZED" WAY
OF DEALING WITH CONFLICTS.
103
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,590
LIKE, JUST SAYING WHAT YOU MEAN.
LIKE, I FEEL LIKE,
104
00:03:51,590 --> 00:03:54,630
NOWADAYS, EVERYONE'S LIKE,
"YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU SAY THIS,
105
00:03:54,630 --> 00:03:56,060
IT MAKES ME FEEL
BLAH BLAH BLAH,"
106
00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:57,560
AND IT'S LIKE
IT JUST FEELS GOOD TO BE LIKE,
107
00:03:57,570 --> 00:04:00,000
"YOU'RE A DUMMY."
- [laughs]
108
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:04,740
- MY NAME IS FRANCESCA,
BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME "TUNES."
109
00:04:04,740 --> 00:04:05,470
- MY NAME'S MIKEY.
110
00:04:05,470 --> 00:04:06,570
TUNES, WHAT HAVE YOU
DONE WITH HER?
111
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:10,380
HAVE YOU BEEN GIVING HER DRUGS?
- TAKE A HIT.
112
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,410
[slow motion scream]
113
00:04:11,410 --> 00:04:12,180
[hard rock music]
114
00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:13,810
- ♪ IT'S A COMPLEX STORY ♪
115
00:04:13,820 --> 00:04:17,050
- WHO DID THIS TO YOU?
WHO DID THIS TO MY BOY?
116
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:19,320
- IT WAS TUNES.
- TUNES?
117
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:20,190
[country rock ballad]
118
00:04:20,190 --> 00:04:24,090
- ♪ WHAT ROADS DO WE TAKE? ♪
119
00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:26,760
- [slow motion]
PEACE OUT.
120
00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:29,300
[school bell rings]
121
00:04:31,570 --> 00:04:34,800
[upbeat rock music]
122
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,240
♪ ♪
123
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- MIKEY, YOU'RE BACK.
124
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,210
- HEY, TUNES.
- IT'S BEEN SO LONG.
125
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,710
- LONG ENOUGH FOR ME
TO LEARN TO WALK AGAIN
126
00:04:44,710 --> 00:04:45,410
AFTER YOU GUNSHOT ME.
127
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,480
- AND LONG ENOUGH FOR ME
TO SERVE A PRISON SENTENCE
128
00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,820
FOR NARCOTICS
AND ARMED VIOLENCE.
129
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:50,520
- HA HA HA HA.
130
00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:52,690
- PLUS, YOU'RE TRANS NOW.
WHAT A DREAM COME TRUE.
131
00:04:52,690 --> 00:04:54,860
- WHAT?
OH, I'M NOT TRANS.
132
00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:56,390
I'M FILLED
WITH ALL THESE NEW EMOTIONS,
133
00:04:56,390 --> 00:04:58,890
AND I'M EXPRESSING THEM
THROUGH MY NEW LOOK.
134
00:04:58,890 --> 00:05:01,060
GETTING GUNSHOT CAN REALLY
CHANGE A PERSON,
135
00:05:01,060 --> 00:05:03,700
BOTH INSIDE AND OUT.
136
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:04,360
LATER, TUNES.
137
00:05:04,370 --> 00:05:05,430
[Illustrated's Mental Drug]
138
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:07,000
- ♪ THESE DEMONS FOUND ME OUT ♪
139
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,700
- MIKEY, YOU FORGOT
YOUR ZIP-UP POCKET SACK.
140
00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:18,310
[theme music]
141
00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:25,590
♪ ♪
142
00:05:25,990 --> 00:05:28,960
- AND OF COURSE, OUR FLAG WAS
DESIGNED BY MR. GEORGE STANLEY.
143
00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:31,090
IT'S MEANT TO SAY,
"LOOK AT THESE MAPLE TREES."
144
00:05:31,090 --> 00:05:32,660
HEY THERE, MIKEY.
YOU'RE LATER
145
00:05:32,660 --> 00:05:35,060
THAN A PREGNANT STUDENT'S
MENSTRUAL SLOUGH.
146
00:05:35,060 --> 00:05:35,760
[chuckles]
- SORRY.
147
00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,560
- HEY, CANE.
GREAT STANDING STICK, EH?
148
00:05:37,570 --> 00:05:39,430
- YOU KNOW WHO ELSE
LIKES THIS CANE, ZACHARY?
149
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,540
- WHO'S THAT?
- YOUR MOM.
150
00:05:41,540 --> 00:05:42,870
[rock music]
151
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:44,100
NO PARDON.
152
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,940
- [laughs]
153
00:05:45,940 --> 00:05:47,070
AN EXCELLENT RETORT FROM MIKEY
154
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,910
TO OUR CLASSROOM'S
FINEST BULLY, ZACHARY.
155
00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:51,350
ALL RIGHT,
LET'S GO BACK TO SCIENCES.
156
00:05:51,350 --> 00:05:54,680
- YOU LEFT THESE IN THE HALL.
- FAR OUT.
157
00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:55,650
[Illustrated's Mental Drug]
158
00:05:55,650 --> 00:05:58,320
- ♪ 'CAUSE I NEED HELP
I NEED SOMEONE ♪
159
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:02,490
♪ TO HELP ME KICK
THIS MENTAL DRUG ♪
160
00:06:02,490 --> 00:06:05,590
[soft music]
161
00:06:05,590 --> 00:06:06,860
♪ ♪
162
00:06:06,860 --> 00:06:08,760
- [laughs]
163
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,030
[gasps]
164
00:06:12,030 --> 00:06:12,570
HI THERE, TUNES.
165
00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:14,740
- COACH TEACHER,
DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT?
166
00:06:14,740 --> 00:06:17,270
- YOU BET I DO.
CARE FOR A HONK OF THIS J-BIRD?
167
00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:18,370
- I RESPECTFULLY DECLINE.
168
00:06:18,370 --> 00:06:19,940
THANK YOU, COACH TEACHER.
- RIGHT.
169
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,640
- I THINK MIKEY'S
A DRUGS ADDICT.
170
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,750
- HE WAS VERBALLY ABUSIVE
TO ZACHARY THIS MORNING
171
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,410
IN SCIENCES,
BUT I JUST FIGURED THAT HAD
172
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,980
SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE FACT
THAT HE'S NOW TRANS.
173
00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:30,050
- NO, MIKEY'S NOT TRANS.
174
00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:31,850
THAT'S JUST HIS NEW CHOICE
OF FASHION.
175
00:06:31,850 --> 00:06:34,820
- I THINK WE BOTH KNOW
WHAT WE HAVE TO DO HERE.
176
00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:38,130
- MIKEY HAS BEEN
THROUGH TOO DARN MUCH.
177
00:06:38,130 --> 00:06:38,860
PARDON MY LANGUAGE.
178
00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:40,630
HE'S SO YOUNG.
WHERE DID I GO WRONG?
179
00:06:40,630 --> 00:06:43,930
- THIS IS A CIRCLE OF LOVE.
THIS IS ABOUT, MIKEY.
180
00:06:43,930 --> 00:06:47,830
WANT HIM TO GET OFF THE DRUGS
THAT HE'S ADDICTED TO.
181
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,240
[hard rock music]
182
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,410
- COACH TEACHER,
YOU SUMMONED ME?
183
00:06:52,410 --> 00:06:53,510
- I SURE DID, MIKEY.
184
00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:56,140
- TUNES?
MOM?
185
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,850
ZACHARY?
INUIT ANDY?
186
00:06:58,850 --> 00:06:59,610
MARIE THE JANITOR?
187
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:04,020
WAIT A MOMENT,
IS THIS A SUGGESTION?
188
00:07:10,290 --> 00:07:12,030
- WERE YOU EVER BULLIED?
- OH.
189
00:07:12,030 --> 00:07:12,730
I'M NOT SURE.
190
00:07:12,730 --> 00:07:15,500
[both laughing]
YES, OF COURSE I WAS BULLIED.
191
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,160
MY BULLY--OH, MY GOD.
192
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,800
MY BULLY GROWING UP
HAD A STUTTER.
193
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,300
YEAH.
- WAS HE BULLYING YOU
194
00:07:21,300 --> 00:07:23,040
BECAUSE OF THE STUTTER?
- [sighs]
195
00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:27,010
HE WAS BULLYING ME
BECAUSE I WAS FAT AND GAY,
196
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:29,540
I THINK,
AND THAT TRUMPS STUTTER.
197
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,110
- HE WASN'T HIGH
ON THE BULLYING SCALE.
198
00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,480
HE WAS LIKE, "WHO CAN I"--
- NO, HE WASN'T, LIKE,
199
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,550
EVERYONE'S BULLY.
HE WAS, LIKE, MY BULLY.
200
00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:35,750
both: YEAH.
[both laughing]
201
00:07:35,750 --> 00:07:36,920
- HE WAS LIKE,
"THERE HE IS."
202
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,190
- DID YOU EVER HAVE
A COMEUPPANCE WITH HIM?
203
00:07:38,190 --> 00:07:41,560
DID YOU EVER HAVE A MOMENT?
- WELL, HE ACTUALLY IS DEAD NOW.
204
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:45,030
[both laughing]
205
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:48,230
- SO--
[both laughing]
206
00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:52,330
[police siren blaring]
207
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:53,230
[police radio chatter]
208
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,130
[early rock and roll music]
209
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:59,370
♪ SHE MUST BE AN ANGEL
'CAUSE I AM IN HEAVEN ♪
210
00:07:59,370 --> 00:08:01,740
[gunshot]
211
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,710
- [scoffs]
212
00:08:04,710 --> 00:08:07,610
- DETECTIVE LOGAN?
213
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:09,820
- WELL, THAT'S GOOD DETECTIVE
WORK, SWEETHEART.
214
00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,720
YOU SHOULD TRY
TO JOIN THE FORCE.
215
00:08:11,720 --> 00:08:12,950
[laughs]
- YEAH,
216
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,120
I ALREADY DID THAT
FIVE YEARS AGO.
217
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,360
- OH, TRY AND TRY AGAIN.
218
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,760
- GOOD, YOU'RE ACQUAINTED.
I GOT A CASE FOR YOU.
219
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,960
- CHIEF, THIS IS
THE 40th DEAD GIRL
220
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,030
IN AS MANY WEEKS AS--
221
00:08:24,030 --> 00:08:27,000
WAIT, WHERE'S LOGAN?
222
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:32,970
- LET'S GO, SLOWPOKE, OR DO YOU
NOT CARE ABOUT DEAD GIRLS.
223
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:35,240
[scoffs]
224
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:38,750
- WELCOME
TO THE GLENDON TRAIL P.D.
225
00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,410
- I DON'T EXACTLY WORK WELL
WITH OTHERS.
226
00:08:41,420 --> 00:08:45,990
- ♪ HEAVEN NOW ♪
227
00:08:45,990 --> 00:08:48,520
♪ ♪
228
00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:50,590
[police radio chatter]
229
00:08:50,590 --> 00:08:53,130
- DETECTIVE LOGAN,
GLENDON TRAIL HOMICIDE.
230
00:08:53,130 --> 00:08:55,360
- WELL, THANK GOD.
I WAS AFRAID THIS WAS
231
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,100
IN THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT
JURISDICTION.
232
00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,530
- WELL, IT'S NOT
MY JURISDICTION.
233
00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:00,270
JUST BECAUSE A BODY'S
ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
234
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:01,770
DOESN'T MAKE IT
THE STATE TROOPERS' PROBLEM.
235
00:09:01,770 --> 00:09:03,870
- [scoffs] ENOUGH,
UNLESS ONE OF YOU GUYS
236
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,010
WANT TO TELL
THIS DEAD GIRL'S PARENTS
237
00:09:05,010 --> 00:09:07,340
WHY WE COULDN'T FIND HER KILLER,
'CAUSE IT WASN'T
238
00:09:07,340 --> 00:09:08,910
IN ANY OF OUR...
[chuckles]
239
00:09:08,910 --> 00:09:11,310
"JURISDICTIONS."
[scoffs]
240
00:09:11,310 --> 00:09:14,380
POOR KID.
- WHAT DO YOU SEE?
241
00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:16,580
- I SEE A DEAD GIRL
IN THE TRASH.
242
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:17,480
[chuckles]
243
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,020
ALSO, I SEE GLITTER
ON HER NECK.
244
00:09:19,020 --> 00:09:21,150
- YOU THINK SHE'S A STRIPPER?
- [chuckles]
245
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:24,790
- SHE'S A DEAD GIRL,
ISN'T SHE?
246
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:25,660
- SANITATION DEPARTMENT.
247
00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:27,830
CAN WE SAY SHE WASN'T FOUND
IN A PILE OF TRASH?
248
00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,260
- [scoffs]
FINE,
249
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:30,760
IF YOU WANT TO TELL
HER PARENTS THAT.
250
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:33,170
- OH, I'M BAD WITH PARENTS.
251
00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:35,870
- HOPE YOU'RE BETTER WITH TRASH.
252
00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:39,310
LET'S GO.
253
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:54,050
[theme music]
254
00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,260
[dubstep music]
255
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:58,160
- YOUR FIRST CHALLENGE
IS SEXY FRUIT EATING,
256
00:09:58,160 --> 00:09:59,660
SO YOU BETTER BRING
YOUR "A" GAME,
257
00:09:59,660 --> 00:10:02,900
OR YOU'RE GONNA GET AN "H."
BEGIN.
258
00:10:06,370 --> 00:10:07,970
- OKAY.
- OOH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
259
00:10:07,970 --> 00:10:09,500
- STOP, NO.
[air horn blows]
260
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,770
- WHY DO YOUR EYES LOOK
SO PANICKED?
261
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,340
[air horn blows]
- UGH!
262
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:15,540
SLASH MMM.
263
00:10:15,540 --> 00:10:18,380
DID YOU WINK?
- WOULD YOU GIVE CT AN "H"?
264
00:10:18,380 --> 00:10:20,210
- ABSOLUTELY.
[air horn blows]
265
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,320
- OH, FARLEY.
266
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,990
- UGH!
YOU'RE ACTING UP, BOBBY.
267
00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:27,990
- FINE, YOU KNOW WHAT, FARLEY?
268
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:32,230
- OH, WOW, YOU ATE A APPLE.
269
00:10:32,230 --> 00:10:33,390
[air horn blows]
- NOW, BOBBY, WHEN WE FIRST
270
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:34,690
STARTED THIS GAME,
YOU SEEMED TO BE
271
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:36,400
A LITTLE UPSET
BY THE PRESENCE OF FARLEY.
272
00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:39,900
- NO, SHE'S INVISIBLE TO ME.
IT'S LIKE, YOU'RE TALKING,
273
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:44,070
AND THEN THERE'S JUST, LIKE,
A BEAUTIFUL, PERFECT LEOPARD.
274
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:47,110
- CT, I WANT TO COMPLIMENT YOU
ON YOUR INTENSITY.
275
00:10:47,110 --> 00:10:48,610
- THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
- I'M SORRY,
276
00:10:48,610 --> 00:10:50,980
WHY ARE YOU RESPONDING
WHEN I'M TALKING TO CT?
277
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:52,150
- YOU WERE NOT LOOKING AT ME?
278
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,350
- WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOUR NAME IS?
279
00:10:54,350 --> 00:10:57,180
- BUZZSAW.
280
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:57,580
- OKAY.
281
00:10:57,590 --> 00:11:00,820
FOR OUR NEXT CHALLENGE,
YOU WILL BE JUDGED ON HOW WELL
282
00:11:00,820 --> 00:11:04,590
YOU CAN LIE TO SOMEONE
ABOUT WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING.
283
00:11:04,590 --> 00:11:06,430
- UGH.
- FOR THIS CHALLENGE,
284
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:11,060
WE'VE FLOWN IN
A FEW SPECIAL GUESTS--
285
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,300
YOUR AUNTS.
all: OHH!
286
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:13,900
[all yelling]
287
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:17,740
- I HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD A GAME
LESS THAN I HAVE GIGOLO HORSE.
288
00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:23,840
- GIGOLO, APPROACH YOUR AUNTS
AND BEGIN YOUR LIE.
289
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,050
- HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
AUNT JOANNE?
290
00:11:26,050 --> 00:11:27,010
GO [bleep] YOURSELF, OKAY?
291
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,350
YOU DIDN'T SUPPORT
MY MOTHER'S TANNING BED BUSINESS
292
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:30,680
WHEN SHE NEEDED YOU MOST.
[air horn blows]
293
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,720
- CT IS REALLY USING
THIS OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS
294
00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:36,190
HIS ROLE ON THE REAL WORLD/ROAD RULES CHALLENGE.
295
00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:37,660
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF CT,
FARLEY?
296
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,160
- [laughs] IT SOUNDED
LIKE YOU SAID "RUH-ROHS."
297
00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:41,630
[laughs]
- ROAD RULES.
298
00:11:41,630 --> 00:11:42,760
- HE'S A MONSTER.
299
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,160
- SO I'M A GIGOLO,
300
00:11:44,170 --> 00:11:46,600
BUT THE LIE IS
I'M A FIREFIGHTER, SO--
301
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,070
[air horn blows]
- MANY OF THEM DON'T SEEM
302
00:11:48,070 --> 00:11:50,840
TO EVEN UNDERSTAND
THE CONCEPT OF THE GAME.
303
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,170
- WHO DOES, THOUGH?
304
00:11:52,170 --> 00:11:53,970
[air horn blows]
305
00:11:53,980 --> 00:11:55,780
- THE MOST IMPORTANT PART
OF BEING A GIGOLO
306
00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,550
IS MAKING THE PERSON
THAT YOU'RE WITH FEEL GREAT,
307
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:03,720
SO NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU
TO COMPLIMENT FARLEY.
308
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,420
- YOU LOOK LIKE
IF PEG BUNDY WAS YOUNG.
309
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:07,920
- [growling effects]
- I LIKE YOUR HEIGHT.
310
00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,460
- YOU'RE DISMISSED.
- I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE
311
00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:11,290
YOU'RE WEARING
A LEOPARD'S PRINT.
312
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:11,830
- [giggles]
313
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:15,460
WHEN I'M REALLY EXCITED
ABOUT A GUY, I SWING LIKE THIS.
314
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,800
- OH, I LIKE THAT.
315
00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:19,600
- I SWEAR TO GOD,
I WOULD ANNIHILATE EVERYBODY
316
00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:20,370
IN THE WORLD!
- STOP.
317
00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:23,940
- I'M OUT OF CONTROL LISTENING
TO YOU TALK TO ANOTHER MAN!
318
00:12:23,940 --> 00:12:27,640
- BECAUSE YOU'RE CRYING TEARS,
I'M GIVING YOU IMMUNITY,
319
00:12:27,640 --> 00:12:30,140
AND I JUST DECIDED THAT
RIGHT NOW.
320
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:30,810
- OH, COME ON!
321
00:12:30,810 --> 00:12:33,110
- I LOVE IT
WHEN BOBBY GETS JEALOUS.
322
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,320
- SOMETIMES, HAVING
HIGH EMOTIONS PAYS OFF.
323
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,020
- [crying]
324
00:12:38,020 --> 00:12:40,150
- BOBBY, STOP IT, STOP IT!
325
00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,290
I GAVE YOU IMMUNITY.
WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT,
326
00:12:43,290 --> 00:12:44,620
TO GET MARRIED?
327
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:45,990
- [sobbing] YES!
328
00:12:45,990 --> 00:12:49,900
I WANNA GET MARRIED!
I WANNA GET MARRIED TO YOU!
329
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:51,130
- BUT ARE YOU, LIKE,
ASKING ME?
330
00:12:51,130 --> 00:12:54,800
- OH, FARLEY, I WANNA SPEND
THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU!
331
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,600
- ARE YOU PROPOSING,
OR WHAT IS IT?
332
00:12:56,610 --> 00:13:00,510
- I DON'T KNOW,
WE'RE ON A COMPETITION SHOW!
333
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,140
[air horn blows]
334
00:13:02,140 --> 00:13:04,410
- AND TIME.
THAT'S THE END OF IMMUNITY.
335
00:13:04,410 --> 00:13:07,210
LET'S BRING BACK IN OUR GIGOLOS.
- WHAT JUST HAPPENED?
336
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,350
- WHEN BOBBY FIRST PROPOSED,
337
00:13:08,350 --> 00:13:10,280
HE WAS ACTING
LIKE HE WAS PROPOSING,
338
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,620
THEN HE WASN'T PROPOSING.
339
00:13:11,620 --> 00:13:12,690
I GOT VERY CONFUSED.
340
00:13:12,690 --> 00:13:16,220
- BRO, WHAT HAPPENS
IN GIGOLO HORSE--
341
00:13:16,220 --> 00:13:17,620
UH--
342
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:19,030
I PROPOSED TO FARLEY.
343
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:22,060
- ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING
THINGS ABOUT BEING A GIGOLO
344
00:13:22,060 --> 00:13:23,930
IS LOVE WITHOUT ATTACHMENT.
345
00:13:23,930 --> 00:13:25,060
FOR THIS NEXT CHALLENGE,
YOU WILL BE
346
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:28,170
ATTACHED TO EACH OTHER
IN SOMETHING THAT WE CALL
347
00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:31,910
THE THREE-LEGGED [bleep],
AND TO HELP US WITH THIS GAME,
348
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:37,710
WE'VE ENLISTED
A FEW SPECIAL GUESTS...
349
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:41,480
YOUR AUNTS.
[all screaming]
350
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,920
- ARE WE SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX
WITH OUR AUNTS?
351
00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:46,020
JUST START GOING TO TOWN
ON THEM?
352
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:46,990
WHAT IS
THE THREE-LEGGED [bleep]?
353
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:50,090
- GUYS, I THINK WE GOT TO
PULL THE PLUG ON THIS EVENT.
354
00:13:50,390 --> 00:13:55,300
- MY DIRECTORS AND A BUNCH
OF OUR OFFICE PEOPLE WERE LIKE,
355
00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:59,500
"WE'RE GONNA TRY TO GET
CT FROM THE CHALLENGE ON,"
356
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,270
AND PEOPLE GOT CRAZY PSYCHED.
357
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:02,340
HERE WE ARE.
- [laughs]
358
00:14:02,340 --> 00:14:03,340
YEAH, MAN, THIS IS WILD.
359
00:14:03,340 --> 00:14:04,640
- YEAH?
- YEAH, I LOVED IT.
360
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:06,110
YOU GUYS ARE CRAZIER
THAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE.
361
00:14:06,110 --> 00:14:08,610
- WE'RE CRAZY?
- YEAH, YOU GUYS ARE NUTS.
362
00:14:08,610 --> 00:14:10,610
- I'M PRETTY SURE
YOU ARE A MONSTER.
363
00:14:10,610 --> 00:14:11,680
- THIS KID'S A MONSTER.
364
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,250
- GET THIS PARTY GOING.
365
00:14:13,250 --> 00:14:21,190
[all yelling and cheering]
366
00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,560
[air horn blows]
- WHAT?
367
00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:27,830
- HE PLAYS MIKEY
ON "WHEELS ONTARIO,"
368
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:29,300
BUT YOU KNOW HIM BETTER
AS THE ACTOR
369
00:14:29,300 --> 00:14:31,460
AND ENTERTAINER
BRYAN LA CROIX.
370
00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:32,500
THIS IS OUR WEEKLY "CHEQUE-IN"
371
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,430
WITH OUR IN-HOUSE
"BRYANTOLOGISTS,"
372
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,470
THE HOFFMAN TWINS.
373
00:14:35,470 --> 00:14:37,170
- HI, I'M SHELBY HOFFMAN.
374
00:14:37,170 --> 00:14:38,300
- I'M TARA HOFFMAN.
375
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:39,210
- WE'RE THE HOFFMAN TWINS.
376
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:42,080
WE'RE ALSO MEMBERS
OF THE BRYAN LA CROIX FAN CLUB.
377
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:43,110
LEVEL THREE BRYANTOLOGISTS.
378
00:14:43,110 --> 00:14:46,110
- LEVEL THREE, STILL MORE TO GO!
DON'T GIVE UP, GIRLS.
379
00:14:46,110 --> 00:14:49,920
- BRYAN HAS A NEW LOOK THIS WEEK
ON "WHEELS ONTARIO."
380
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,020
- AND THE PILLS ADDICTION.
381
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,120
- SO LET'S HOPE
HE PULLS THROUGH--
382
00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:56,020
- BECAUSE WITHOUT BRYAN,
THERE'S NO "WHEELS ONTARIO."
383
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,420
- THANKS, GIRLS,
AND STAY PUT
384
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:00,830
FOR MORE "WHEELS ONTARIO,"
COMING UP RIGHT NOW.
385
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:04,360
- WE LOVE YOU, BRYAN!
386
00:15:04,970 --> 00:15:08,100
[theme music]
387
00:15:08,100 --> 00:15:09,470
♪ ♪
388
00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:10,800
[school bell ringing]
389
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,510
- IS THIS A SUGGESTION?
390
00:15:12,510 --> 00:15:14,170
- INUIT ANDY,
WHY DON'T YOU FIRE IT UP?
391
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:17,780
- MIKEY, DRUGS ARE AN EPIDEMIC
AMONG MY PEOPLE.
392
00:15:17,780 --> 00:15:20,350
YOU'RE AS WHITE AS THE SNOW.
THERE'S STILL HOPE FOR YOU YET.
393
00:15:20,350 --> 00:15:23,580
- WHY DON'T YOU JUST SIT DOWN,
YOU BROWN, LITTLE MONSTER?
394
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,820
I'M NOT A DRUGS ADDICT!
395
00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:26,150
- HE HAS A POINT.
396
00:15:26,150 --> 00:15:26,990
- IF YOU'RE NOT ON DRUGS,
397
00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,020
THEN WHY ARE YOU WEARING
THAT NECKLACE?
398
00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:30,960
- OH, I'M SORRY, ZACHARY.
ARE WE IN ALBERTA?
399
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,830
WE CALL THEM CHOKERS
IN ONTARIO.
400
00:15:32,830 --> 00:15:35,860
AND WHY DON'T YOU JUST
MIND ONE'S OWN BUSINESS?
401
00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:38,670
- MIKEY, THAT'S NOT YOU
BULLYING ZACHARY.
402
00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:39,430
IT'S THE MEDICINE.
403
00:15:39,430 --> 00:15:41,170
- IT'S MEDICINE
FOR MY PAIN AND AGONY.
404
00:15:41,170 --> 00:15:44,300
- OH, THAT'S WHERE
YOU'RE WRONG THERE, MIKEY.
405
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:46,070
THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PAIN,
OKAY?
406
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,710
THE QUEEN PRESCRIBED YOU
THOSE PILLS FOR PHYSICAL PAIN.
407
00:15:48,710 --> 00:15:53,350
- BUT YOU'VE BEEN USING THEM
FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL PAIN.
408
00:15:54,350 --> 00:15:56,080
- MACKEREL.
409
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,650
TUNES, I THINK I'M STILL
CROSS WITH YOU
410
00:15:58,650 --> 00:16:00,850
FOR SHOOTING ME IN THE BODY
WITH THAT GUN.
411
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,720
- I KNOW, MIKEY, BUT LET ME
HELP YOU GET OFF DRUGS
412
00:16:03,730 --> 00:16:06,090
LIKE THE CANADIAN PENAL SYSTEM
DID FOR ME
413
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:08,030
AFTER I NEARLY MURDERED YOU.
414
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:12,300
- SUGGESTION...
415
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,970
ACCEPTED.
416
00:16:13,970 --> 00:16:16,140
- OH!
OH!
417
00:16:16,140 --> 00:16:17,070
- OH, THANK GOODNESS.
418
00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:19,070
- HERE, MARIE THE JANITOR,
TAKE THESE.
419
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,170
I WON'T BE NEEDING THEM ANYMORE.
420
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:22,440
- OH.
421
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,310
THERE HE IS.
OH, MIKEY.
422
00:16:24,310 --> 00:16:27,780
I DON'T LOVE THE BLUE,
BUT I LOVE YOU.
423
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:28,410
- WHOA, MOM.
424
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,820
YOU'RE LIKE A RAPPER,
LIKE DRAKE.
425
00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:32,550
- OH!
[both laughing]
426
00:16:32,550 --> 00:16:33,350
[both crying]
427
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,320
- [laughs]
COME ON, PAL.
428
00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:36,920
- OKAY.
429
00:16:36,930 --> 00:16:38,120
[Vandarth's
Intruder Neutralized]
430
00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:43,630
- ♪ SO THESE GHOSTS
ARE BACK TO HUNT AGAIN ♪
431
00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:47,600
♪ IS THERE NO END? ♪
432
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,870
♪ FIRST EVERY CORNER ♪
433
00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:51,240
[laughter]
434
00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:56,240
♪ EVERY BREATH OF YOUR NAME ♪
435
00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:04,520
♪ SO THESE SKELETONS
RETURN TO ME AGAIN ♪
436
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,750
♪ ♪
437
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,890
[soft music]
438
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:16,260
♪ ♪
439
00:17:16,260 --> 00:17:17,730
- WE USED TO SAY MY MOM
HAD MOURNFUL FARTS.
440
00:17:17,730 --> 00:17:20,070
- "MOURNFUL FARTS"?
- YEAH, 'CAUSE THEY'D BE LIKE...
441
00:17:20,070 --> 00:17:22,040
[sad fart sound]
442
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:22,770
[laughter]
443
00:17:22,770 --> 00:17:25,670
- IT WAS ALWAYS SO GROSS.
444
00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:26,540
JUST SO GROSS.
445
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:29,340
both: [sad fart sound]
446
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:33,310
[early rock and roll music]
447
00:17:33,310 --> 00:17:36,880
- I'M SORRY, LOOK,
I GET EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.
448
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,450
- [chuckles]
AND?
449
00:17:38,450 --> 00:17:39,850
- MY DAUGHTER WAS MURDERED.
450
00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:40,990
[girl giggling]
451
00:17:40,990 --> 00:17:42,160
- YOUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD?
452
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,120
- TIMES TWO.
[girls giggling]
453
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,790
MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE WHO I LOVED
MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD,
454
00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,000
SHE WAS KILLED TWO YEARS LATER.
[woman screaming]
455
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,330
- JESUS.
456
00:17:52,330 --> 00:17:53,500
- I LOST MY SISTER TOO.
457
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:54,730
[woman coughing]
458
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,770
- MURDERED?
459
00:17:56,770 --> 00:17:58,000
- YEAH.
460
00:17:58,010 --> 00:17:59,810
FROM LUNG CANCER.
461
00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:02,210
- DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
462
00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:05,480
- DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ANYTIME
YOU CARE ABOUT A GIRL
463
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:06,950
ANOTHER GIRL DIES?
464
00:18:06,950 --> 00:18:09,180
[neck cracks]
465
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:13,320
CRAZY COUPLE YEARS
WITH ALL THE WOMEN IN MY LIFE
466
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:14,520
GETTING MURDERED.
467
00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:15,960
[girl laughing]
468
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,230
- WHEN ARE WE GONNA START
DOING STEROIDS?
469
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:22,600
COMEDIANS, THERE'S A POINT
IN THEIR CAREERS
470
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,760
WHEN THEY GET TO DO STEROIDS.
471
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,830
CARROT TOP, PISCOPO.
472
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,040
[dubstep music]
473
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:31,270
- WE'VE REACHED
THE END OF OUR COMPETITION
474
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:33,440
AND ARE LEFT
WITH TWO CONTESTANTS--
475
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,810
BOBBY B. AND EAGLE WING.
476
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:39,750
THE FINAL COMPETITION
OF "GIGOLO HORSE"
477
00:18:39,750 --> 00:18:43,280
IS A GAME OF HORSE.
478
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:47,150
[horse whinnies]
479
00:18:49,020 --> 00:18:50,820
- [laughs]
- WHAT'S THAT ABOUT, MAN?
480
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:51,890
- WHY DIDN'T YOU GRAB THE BALL?
481
00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:54,230
- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT'S WHAT
I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO!
482
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:55,360
- ALL RIGHT, BEGIN.
483
00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:59,030
- OH, EAGLE WING, YOU KNOW
WHAT I FORGOT TO TELL YOU?
484
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:03,400
I PLAYED BASKETBALL FOR YEARS.
485
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:11,210
- NO.
- YOU KNOW WHAT?
486
00:19:11,210 --> 00:19:12,710
- OOH!
- WHY DON'T WE HAVE YOU GUYS
487
00:19:12,710 --> 00:19:14,180
MOVE A LITTLE BIT CLOSER?
- COME ON, MAN.
488
00:19:14,180 --> 00:19:15,520
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE
THAT FAR AWAY.
489
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,950
IT'S NOT A FREE THROW
COMPETITION.
490
00:19:25,860 --> 00:19:28,390
[dreamy music]
491
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,630
- YOU CAN DO IT, BOBBY.
492
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:34,100
- I CAN'T DO IT.
I FORFEIT.
493
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,940
THE ONLY WOMAN THAT I WANT
TO HAVE SEX WITH FOR MONEY
494
00:19:36,940 --> 00:19:39,340
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
IS FARLEY.
495
00:19:39,340 --> 00:19:41,640
COME HERE.
496
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:44,210
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW?
YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
497
00:19:44,210 --> 00:19:45,310
YOU NEED TO NOT
GET ON THE GROUND
498
00:19:45,310 --> 00:19:47,350
UNLESS YOU'RE DOING
SOMETHING FOR REAL.
499
00:19:47,350 --> 00:19:49,580
- I AM DOING SOMETHING
RIGHT NOW, FARLEY!
500
00:19:49,580 --> 00:19:52,120
- WHAT?
- DO YOU MARRY ME?
501
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,050
[dramatic music]
502
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:56,390
- WELL, IN ORDER TO FURTHER
MY CAREER, MY ANSWER IS YES,
503
00:19:56,390 --> 00:20:00,660
HOWEVER, I CANNOT BE
YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED WIFE
504
00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:03,600
DUE TO MY FEAR OF COMMITMENT.
505
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,700
- I MEAN,
I'M JUST A SIMPLE GIGOLO,
506
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:08,030
BUT I'VE GOT TO QUESTION
THAT RELATIONSHIP.
507
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:08,940
- I'M SORRY, BOBBY,
508
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:11,600
BUT I'M A STALLION,
AND I CAN'T BE HELD DOWN.
509
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:14,540
- FORGET YOU THEN!
- M'KAY. [giggles]
510
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:18,440
- WELL, WELL, WELL,
ISN'T THAT ROMANTIC?
511
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:22,050
THING IS, BOBBY,
YOU SAID YOU FORFEITED.
512
00:20:22,050 --> 00:20:24,550
THAT MEANS YOU LOSE.
513
00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:28,620
GET THE [bleep]
OUT OF GIGOLO HOUSE.
514
00:20:28,620 --> 00:20:31,490
- IT'S THE RULES, BOBBY.
- BOBBY!
515
00:20:31,490 --> 00:20:32,230
BOBBY!
516
00:20:32,230 --> 00:20:34,030
- EAGLE WING KICKS ME
OUT OF GIGOLO HOUSE,
517
00:20:34,030 --> 00:20:37,030
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DON'T NEED GIGOLO HOUSE.
518
00:20:37,030 --> 00:20:37,660
- BOBBY!
- WOW.
519
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,000
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE ABLE
TO GET OUT OF HERE ACTUALLY.
520
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:40,830
CAN ONE OF THE GUYS BUZZ HIM?
521
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,170
- HEY, BUZZ MY FRIEND!
BUZZ HIM!
522
00:20:43,170 --> 00:20:44,970
- THIS ISN'T THE LAST
YOU HEARD OF BOBBY "B."
523
00:20:44,970 --> 00:20:48,270
I STILL HAVE A NUMBER OF OTHER
REALITY SHOWS ON THE AIR.
524
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,340
- YOU'RE BUZZING MY FRIEND!
525
00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:53,110
- YOU KNEW WHAT YOU WERE
GETTING INTO, PETER!
526
00:20:53,110 --> 00:20:55,080
- AM I IN THE SHOT
WITH THE CRANE?
527
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:56,180
- 100%, NO.
- WE HAVE MULTIPLE
528
00:20:56,180 --> 00:20:58,780
CAMERA ANGLES.
- 100%, NO.
529
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,820
- HA HA.
GOOD AT BIZNESS.
530
00:21:01,820 --> 00:21:04,390
- DAMN IT!
OW! OW!
531
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,090
- THIS PIECE OF [bleep]'S TRYING
TO PUT US OUT OF BUSINESS.
532
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,260
HE'S MAKING IT SO THAT
YOU DON'T EVEN NEED A MEDALLION
533
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,700
TO BE A GIGOLO ANYMORE.
534
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:15,800
[dubstep music]
535
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:16,840
♪ ♪
536
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:17,270
- WHAT?
537
00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:18,940
HE DOESN'T HAVE A METAL LION?
- NOPE.
538
00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:20,710
- THAT'S A TIGER, BY THE WAY.
38825
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