Original subtitles

And so, Kim Possible,

all you can do is watch helplessly

as I launch my pollution machine into the Earth's ozone layer.

And so, Kim Possible,

you have no choice

but to bear witness to the power of my doomsday decimator.

And so, Kim Possible, the time has come for you to...

( crashing )

Oh, come on! Time out.

I mean, I haven't even gotten

into my gloating yet, for Pete's sake.

This is just

getting ridiculous.

I'll say.

I'm serious, Shego.

Kim Possible has spoiled my plans for the last time.

Yeah. The last time today, maybe.

We've been going about this all wrong.

By "we"...

you do mean you, right?

We have to take the fight to her.

I am putting a hold on all take-over-the-world ventures

until we have eliminated Kim Possible once and for all.

These are all teen magazines.

What are you planning to do... Read her fashion horoscope?

( Iaughing )

Don't you see, Shego?

Kim Possible is a teenager.

These magazines provide a direct portal

into the unfathomable mind of the modern teen.

To defeat one's enemy, one must first know one's enemy.

( Crazed laughter )

We should pick up some milk while we're here.

? Oh, yeah, yeah ?

? I'm your basic average girl ?

? And I'm here to save the world ?

? You can't stop me 'cause I'm... ?

? Kim Possible ?

? There is nothing I can't do ?

? When danger calls, just know that I am on my way ?

? Know that I am on my way ?

? It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble ?

? If you just call my name ?

? Kim Possible ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? When you want to page me, it's okay ?

? Whenever you need me, baby ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when ?

? Doesn't matter when ?

? I will be there for you till the very end ?

? Danger or trouble, I'm there on the double ?

? You know that you always can call Kim Possible. ?

RON: An F minus? What's with the minus?

You know a simple "F" would do.

I mean, isn't anyone worried

about damaging my self-esteem around here?

I'll see you guys later.

Uh, Kim, are you

forgetting Latin?

No. I'm just gonna go this way.

You know, I don't get you, KP.

You're a straight-A student and yet you can't grasp

the closest the path from Chem to Latin.

Ah, call it the scenic route.

Hey, Kim.

Oh, hey, Josh.

I didn't see you there.

What's up?

Just looting the old locker. You?

Just heading to Latin.

Caveat emptor.

I'm sorry?

It means, "Buyer beware."

I think it's the only Latin I know.

Oh, yeah, that's Latin all right.

Wait, isn't Latin, like,

on the other side of the school?

Yes, but I just, you know, I had to pick up the thing

from the guy at the place first.

Right.

Hey, um, Kim...

Uh-huh.

I was wondering...

( bell rings )

Aah, I gotta jet. I can't be late

for gym again. Check you later.

Right.

See ya.

Ooh!

Huh... Oh, hi.

I forgot my... uh...

I was just... tying... my...

See you later, Josh, bye.

DRAKKEN: The secret to no-chip nails?

No. "Corey's solo career..."

Phat or Flat?"

Not remotely helpful.

Oh. Save me that

no-chip nails article, would you?

( Grunts )

Hey, you try keeping a manicure

while kung fuing it out with teen heroes all day.

Nah, Kim Possible must have a weakness.

Everyone has a weakness.

All we need to do is find it.

Huh. "What's you Shy Q?"

( laughing )

Shego, we're working here.

Or "Unlock the True You."

A personality quiz?

Number one.

"When I'm crushing hard on someone,

("I let them know by, A) A flirty email,

(B) romantic gifts?"

I don't know, I'd probably employ

some kind of mind-control device on them.

Charming. I'll check "Other."

Number two: "My most embarrassing moment happened"

when..."

I don't have the faintest.

Oh, puh-leeze.

How about just last week

when Kim Possible gave you that flying kung fu wedgie

and you were all, like, "Shego, help me, help me"?

Or there's that time...

Silence!

There will be no more talk of embarrassing moments.

All right, but check out these features.

"My most humiliating moment ever."

"Embarrassment Central."

"I could have died from embarrassment."

Let me see that.

"Could have died from embarrassment."

Hmm... That's it.

That's it, Shego!

What is?

Embarrassment.

The soft, white underbelly of the teen ego.

Ew.

KIM: I'm telling you,

I was this close to Josh Manke asking me out.

You can't beat me at my own game, Rufus.

I haven't caused a nacho-valanche since '97.

Frankly, I find the whole "dating" thing

to be overrated.

Who would subject themselves to that?

Those of us who can actually get dates.

If the bell to Latin had rung like

five milliseconds later.

Latin?

So, that's where you've been slinking off to after Chemistry.

Caveat emptor.

He was going to ask me.

I could see it in his eyes.

( Screams )

The winner.

So he takes you to dinner.

You two see a movie.

Big tap-dancing whoop.

We do that stuff together all the time.

This is different, Ron.

We're talking about a real date with Josh Manke.

I want it to be perfect.

Have you ever noticed that "Manke"

is but one vowel away from "monkey"?

I'm not implying anything.

It's just something to think about that's all.

Manke... Monkey. Hmm...

And I'll say no more.

This serum is

derived from pollen of the rare Amazonian Aurora orchid.

When it makes contact with the skin,

it concentrates the human blushing mechanism.

Anytime my teen foe feels embarrassment or humiliation,

the serum will cause a desire to disappear to come true.

She will literally vanish

before our eyes.

Question 32.

"You feel prettiest in...

(A.) pink, B.) purple..." Definitely green.

You have to admit,

they sound a lot alike.

A lot, a lot alike.

Ron, will you let the Manke-monkey

conspiracy die already?

I'm begging you.

Hey.

Did you see that?

See what?

I don't know.

Nothing I guess.

( Evil laughter )

So, what now?

Haven't you been reading, Shego?

The mall is an ideal venue for teenage embarrassment.

We just sit back and watch the show.

( Gasps )

KIM: It's Josh.

Wait, I should bail.

No, he's probably seen me by now.

I should just act natural.

No. I-I'll take the escalator

and then make my entrance from the health food store,

so he'll think...

Whoa!

Hey!

Kim?

Smooth entrance, Kim.

Very subtle.

Josh, I-I'm so sorry.

I tripped and I was trying to...

( gasps )

Kim!

I knew destroying Kim Possible

would be a hoot, but this is simply delish.

( Gasps )

Hmm?

( Shrieks )

( shrieking )

RON: Hey, Kim, wait up!

Are you okay?

That was nasty.

Ron, something critical is happening to me.

Look at this.

Yeah, I'm no doctor,

but you might want

to get that checked out.

WADE: Now just hold very still.

Okay, Rufus.

And scan complete.

Compiling data now.

You said this started right after lunch, right?

Check out this feed from Bueno Nacho's security camera.

Drakken.

Got it. According to body-temperature readings,

Drakken's rigged it so that every time you blush,

cue the disappearing act.

What does it mean?

I'm turning invisible?

Well, that doesn't sound so bad.

It's kind of cool, actually.

Sorry, guys, but it's more serious than that.

If the transformation becomes complete, Kim will be gone.

Gone? Gone like how?

Gone like gone... as in forever.

Kim, you can embarrass yourself

right out of existence.

The good news is, I've isolated the cause...

The pollen of the Aurora orchid flower.

It's only found

in the remote regions of the Amazon jungle.

Another dose of pollen should negate the effect.

Quest time. Come on, Rufus.

Oh, yeah!

Let's go. No way.

What if you barf on the plane or get gum stuck on your shoe?

You have to stay right here and avoid embarrassment at any cost.

Oh, come on.

If I can do anything,

I can keep myself from getting embarrassed.

Totally mind over matter.

Sorry, too risky, KP.

I mean, if it were me.

You what?

If I got hit by Drakken, it wouldn't matter.

How so? Oh, I don't get embarrassed.

Ever? Not that I can remember.

But what about the time you lost your pants?

Times. Too many to count, my friend.

And did I blush?

I did not.

Hate to admit it, but he's right.

You're grounded.

( Sighs )

( groans )

KIM: Okay, blinds closed.

Doors locked. Computer off.

No embarrassment.

No embarrassment.

Oh, wait.

The phone.

( Phone ringing )

Hello?

Kim, it's Josh.

Josh, look I'm-I'm so sorry about your shirt.

Kim, I just wanted to see if you're okay?

I'm fine... for the most part.

Listen, I... know this is kind of... last second,

but... do you want to hang out tonight? I don't know...

Yes. I mean no.

I mean yes.

I want to, but, uh, yes.

Yes, yes.

I'm sorry, is that your way of saying yes or no?

The answer is definitely yes.

Just give me a couple of minutes to get changed, okay?

Hold up once you get to the dock.

I'll be right there to meet you.

To meet us? You? Really?

I figured you could use some backup.

Besides, it's time I got some experience in the field.

Ron, Rufus.

Wade, I must say it's a pleasure

to finally meet you in the flesh.

Meet the Wadebot XR prototype.

Okay, not flesh per se.

Let's roll.

( Straining )

How are we doing on time?

As long as Kim stays in her room, we should be cool.

( Doorbell chimes )

We'll get it! We'll get it!

Don't even think about it, tweebs.

Hi, Kim. Hey, Josh.

You ready?

( Kissing noises )

Let's ride.

Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.

I'll be home by 10:00.

Just in case.

Okay, so if she gets home by 10:00,

she'll be on her computer

doing the diary spill by about...

10:01!

So we hack into the diary by 10:02.

No good. Why no good?

She'll be up all night writing gushy stuff about Josh.

Oh, right. The earliest we can get the dirt

will be tomorrow morning.

Unless...

We spy.

Hoo-sha!

I hope you're hungry.

Ravenous.

Sorry. It's a little chilly in here. Brrr!

Table for two, please.

( Jaunty music playing )

We need to make it another six or seven miles downriver.

It should...

Rapids!

Rapids? They're not on the map.

No. They're right in front of us!

( Screaming )

( screaming )

( typing )

We made it.

How do you like me now, Mother Nature?

Who's your daddy?

Who's your daddy's daddy?

Uh-oh!

( Gasps )

That's not on the map either.

( All screaming )

It feels good to get out of my room once in a while.

I'm serious. It's the mix of the hot

and salty, and cold and sweet.

Is Josh doing what I think he's doing?

Dipping his fry into his shake?

What does Kim see in this freak?

Try it.

A french fry dipped in a milkshake.

Josh Manke, culinary trailblazer.

Huh, he's kind of cute. I approve.

What are you, her sister all of a sudden?

We're trying to vanish Kim Possible

from the face of the Earth. Remember?

One heaping helping of embarrassment?

Coming right up.

( Scuffle ) ( yells )

Okay, okay. Okay, now it's your turn.

What is your most deep, dark, disgusting food combo?

No way. Not until I know you way better.

I...

Oops! Excuse me, Josh.

This is so embarra... Oh, no!

( Raspberry )

No! No!

Josh, I'm so sorry.

It was an accident.

Mmm! This is really getting good!

This valley is the only place on Earth

where the Aurora orchid grows.

See if you could set it down there, Wade.

That looks like a safe spot.

( Roaring ) ( screaming )

Okay, maybe "safe" wasn't exactly the right word.

( Roaring ferociously )

( menacing roar )

( growling )

Hang tight, guys.

I've got this covered.

( Roaring )

( screaming )

Initiating parachute measures now.

Oh, Wade, we're free-falling off a cliff!

This is no time for "Oops!"

My bad. I never got around to actually installing the chute.

It's sitting here in my closet.

No!

Oh!

( Grunts )

Ya!

( Glass shattering )

Hey, um... I'm sorry about all that.

That's cool. How about we get out of here?

Maybe catch a movie.

A movie sounds perfect.

In the darkest theater we can find.

Rats! She's on to us.

Check, please.

( Screaming )

( grunting )

( grunting and groaning )

Hey!

( Crickets chirping )

( men fighting noisily and weapon lashing on-screen )

How about I have her sit on some gum?

That should do it.

Relax and enjoy the show, Shego.

I've brought in the experts to finish the job.

Experts?

( Gasps )

These ninjas have been trained

since birth in the art

of inflicting humiliation.

( Screams )

Embarrassment ninjas?

Are you kidding?

I guess, in their field,

it pays to specialize.

Now go get her.

( Gasps )

KIM: Embarrassment ninjas.

What?

I said, let's move closer.

I'm going to go for popcorn.

Be right back.

( Karate yells on-screen )

What did I miss?

I thought embarrassment ninjas

were supposed to be, like, the best.

Amateurs.

Nice work, Rufus.

Wade, check it out.

We're home free.

Wade?

No! Wade, hang in there, buddy.

Just listen to the sound of my voice.

It's going to be okay.

It was his first mission.

He was so young!

Stay with me, pal.

Leave him.

No, Rufus. No one gets left behind.

Not on my watch.

( Phone beeps )

Ron, I'm fine.

Get back to the flower already.

All right. ( crashing )

You want to go for a walk?

Sounds nice.

( Kim yells )

Hey, watch it!

Direct hit!

Score!

I'm fine.

And not embarrassed.

Not embarrassed in the least.

( Gasps )

Come on, Ron.

All Kim needs to do

is get a whiff of pollen from the flower,

and that should do the trick.

What's the use, Rufus?

We're hundreds of miles from any civil...

( jet engine roaring )

Free peanuts, here we come!

Oh! Peanuts!

( Dog barking in distance )

What are you doing?

Uh... I was going to hold your hand.

Uh... can't. First date, you know.

Okay. I respect that, I guess.

Just a few more doses of humiliation,

and Kim Possible should be gone for good.

You didn't happen to borrow those binoculars

from the embarrassment ninjas, by any chance?

Yes. Why do you ask?

Oh, uh... um... no reason.

Hey, check it out.

Josh, this is amazing.

You did it, didn't you?

Yeah. Yeah, oh, me and some of the neighborhood kids.

It was all tagged with graffiti before.

It's beautiful.

Here you go, Kim.

One rare, endangered Amazonian orchid for... Kim?

Blinds down. Computer off. Phone...

Caller I.D. Caller I.D.

Manke.

This was fun tonight.

What's going on?

No!

Not that.

Kim, is that you taking a bath?

Kim?

Talk to me, Wade.

I'm picking up thermal scans

from a floating head in Middleton Park.

That's probably her, right?

Hang on, Kim!

This is the weirdest date I've ever been on.

( Gasping )

Tweebs!

Hey, Kim, how come you're just a head?

Yeah. Is that like full-blown cooties or something?

Home. Now.

I'll destroy you two later.

But if that was Jim and Tim, then where are...?

( Kiaiing )

Ahh! Ooh!

What's up? Show's over?

DRAKKEN: Yes, she's just a head.

Finish her!

Give her the pimple punch!

Pimple punch?

Pimple punch?

( Gasps )

( coughing )

Oh, you got to be kidding.

That is... Oh, my!

Hey, there you are.

What's going on?

What's with the cape?

Long story.

No. It's cool.

( Sneezing )

Josh, wa-wait.

( Sneezes )

( sneezing )

Bless you.

Come on. What is the big secret?

Okay. You promise you won't laugh?

Yeah. Cross my heart.

I like to put marshmallows

on hot dogs, okay?

Are you happy now?

Marshmallows? Are you for real?

That's, like, totally embarrassing.

Yeah, but I can live with it.

Do you know what this night has been?

Yes. Perfect.

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