Original subtitles

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( Siren wailing )

( humming )

( chuckles )

Good morning, Ron.

Hey, Dr. Possible!

I'm so glad you decided to volunteer

for the Sunshine Spreaders.

Ah, you know me... I can't not help.

Where's Kim?

Oh, she ran off to rescue some hikers in the Andes.

Code Black!

Code Black!

( All shouting excitedly )

I'm seeing anterior tablature.

Where did it happen?

The Andes.

( Both gasp )

( gasps )

Kimmie!

K.P.! What's with the goofy face?

Rictus paralysis... A sure sign of...

brain frost.

( Gasps ) ( gasps )

There's only one cure... A new brain.

Take mine; it's the least I could do.

We've got to work fast.

It's extremely contagious.

Dr. P.!

Rufus!

( Sighs ): Looks like it's up to me.

Hero time.

( Gasps )

You saved me.

You're a hero, Ron.

( Echoing ): Ron?

Ron...

nap time's over.

611 needs a fresh bedpan.

Oh, man! What,

you were expecting to do brain surgery on your first day?

No. Unless I was, like, you know,

the world's last hope or something.

Huh. Why are you staring?

No reason.

? Oh, yeah, yeah ?

? I'm your basic average girl ?

? And I'm here to save the world ?

? You can't stop me 'cause I'm... ?

? Kim Possible ?

? There is nothing I can't do ?

? When danger calls, just know that I am on my way ?

? Know that I am on my way ?

? It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble ?

? If you just call my name ?

? Kim Possible ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? When you want to page me, it's okay ?

? Whenever you need me, baby ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when ?

? Doesn't matter when ?

? I will be there for you till the very end ?

? Danger or trouble, I'm there on the double ?

? You know that you always can call Kim Possible. ?

WOMAN: Welcome,

and thank you,

Sunshine Spreaders.

Your youthful enthusiasm brightens our patients' cloudy day.

Okay, this may not be your dream job,

but it does give us community service credit at school.

I guess saving the world just isn't enough.

Kim?

The triage nurse is out today.

Can you help out in the E.R.?

No prob.

People, we have a homebound senior

who needs a little spirit lift.

He's sent three Sunshiners home crying already.

Hmm, sounds like this fella needs a dose of Ron-shine.

His name's Timothy North. Good luck.

Well, this looks...

cheery. ( shudders )

Oh. Funky knocker.

Hello? Mr. North?

Mm, maybe the old dude can't hear us.

I said hello!

NORTH ( over intercom ): I hear fine, punk.

Uh, no, I'm here to spread sunshine.

Spread it on someone who cares.

( Over intercom ): Come on, Mr. North, I-I won't get school credit

if I don't lift your spirits with my youthful zest.

You ready to go home crying?

No. No-no-no, no. I'm not like the others.

I'm Ron Stoppable.

I, um, can do anything.

Do you know how to grout tile?

( Like Paul Lynde ): Yeah!

But can a rubber band play?

( Upbeat music playing ) ( laughter )

BOTH: You'd best believe it!

What is this?

New cable station.

TV Trash Heap.

100% near-classic programs

unseen for generations.

For good reason. Where's Ron?

He was going to check out Laugh Riot with us.

Good question. I tried calling... no answer.

NORTH: After you get rid of the spiders in here,

you can shoo the bats out of the attic.

( Groans ): Oh, I'm beat, sir.

Can't I just sit around and listen to you,

you know, reminisce about the good old days?

Eat snowballs.

Was that something he used to do in the good old days

or something he wants me to do now?

Uh-oh.

( Gasping )

We shouldn't. Uh-uh.

( Beep )

( both yelling )

( both grunt )

Whoa...!

Rufus, I think I'm having

the most excellent geek dream ever.

"Fearless Ferret Foils Fiendish Foe."

That's a lot of Fs.

Whoa. A real hero.

( Gasps )

Wow.

Hmm... Hmm...

Booyah!

I knew it!

You came here to infiltrate the ferret hole.

No. No-no-no. It was an accident,

and the costume, it just...

Hey. You were the Fearless Ferret!

Curses. My secret has been revealed.

You stalked the night!

Eh, my eyes were better back then.

My eyes are perfect!

Well, I mean, I have a slight stigmatism,

but the doc says I don't need corrective lenses. Y-Yet.

You talk too much.

Come on! I could carry on

the legacy of the Fearless Ferret.

Hey! ( Sings fanfare )

And Wonder Weasel.

Preposterous!

There is only one Fearless Ferret.

Until now.

Come on, Mr. N., let me put on the tights.

Give me a chance... I frequently play

a supporting role in saving the world.

The Fearless Ferret never plays second fiddle.

Well, then, see, that's perfect.

I'm ready to step up.

You, a fierce fighter of freakish foes?

For sure!

Maybe... on a trial basis.

Yes!

All right, then, tonight I will teach you

the ferrety ways of justice.

I'm going to be a superhero!

Oh, wait till I tell Kim!

I repeat: you talk too much.

Secret Identity!

I gotcha. Right, uh-huh, gotcha.

My lips are so sealed.

( Giggling )

Once again, the crime-ridden streets

will bow to the will

( over radio ): of the Fearless Ferret.

Um, Mr. North, my tights seem kind of... loose.

The ferret moves silent and swift.

Silent and swift! But...

Gotcha.

Hmm, ferrets has a snack itch.

( Horn honking ) ( yells )

( pigeons cooing )

Hmm.

( Both giggling )

( car alarm blaring )

NORTH ( over radio ): It's the sound of villainy.

Duty calls, Wonder Weasel.

Activate ferret claw.

That's the ferret smoke screen.

( Coughing )

They all look the same.

( Coughing )

That's the claw.

Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, hey! Oh... aah!

Whoa!

( Yelling )

( both screaming )

( both grunt )

( car alarm blaring )

( growls )

( yelling )

Behold the ferrety claws of justice.

I am the Fearless Ferret.

( Growling )

And this is my sidekick, Wonder Weasel.

( Giggling ): Dude... you're so fighting crime.

Uh, nice tights. Um, I'm going to get

my ferrety tailor to take them in.

It can't be.

Dig it, citizens, thanks to the Fearless Ferret,

your streets are safe tonight.

NORTH: Get out of there before you lose your ferret mystique.

Farewell, good people.

We're off to ferret out crime wherever it may hide.

Can you do something about that alarm first?

So, the Fearless Ferret has returned.

I've been waiting years for this.

Finally, the Foolish Ferret

will be defeated by his arch-nemesis...

White Stripe!

( Bell ringing )

Hey. Hey.

So, I called you last night.

You were out late again.

Spreading sunshine.

At night?

Mr. North, he's a night person.

What's your secret?

Uh-uh, uh-uh.

Sec... what secret?

Sec... I-I have no idea what you mean.

Why didn't he make you cry like the others?

Oh, that.

I'm, yeah, no, I'm a people pleaser,

I'm a people pleasing person.

Hmm...

So we have, like, 50 new channels on cable.

Want to come over tonight and surf?

Oh, yeah, I promised I'd help Mr. North, um, mulch his yard.

In the dark?

Well, like I said, night person.

I'll see you.

Hmm.

You know, Wonder Weasel, I hate playing Kim,

but they don't call it a secret identity for nothing, right?

Uh-huh.

Listen up, two words:

"always alert."

I'm sorry, what was that?

Ha, ha, psych.

See, that's what I usually do as a sidekick.

You know, I do the funny stuff.

Leave the gags to the weasel.

Mm-hmm.

The Fearless Ferret is all business.

You got it, sir.

( Crashing )

You hear that, little chum?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Let's go.

( Groans )

Eww! Now I smell it, too.

Yow, it's rank.

It can't be. It's...

A giant skunk?!

The Wicked White Stripe.

As you well know,

my ferrety foe.

( Gasps )

White Stripe,

that fiend.

You know this guy?

My noxious nemesis.

Beware of his Stink Stream.

I don't even want to know what that is.

Activate Fragrant Ferret Deodorizer.

Right. ( beeping )

Um, which one is that?

The nose!

( Coughing )

( yelps )

( whistles )

Wade, are you sure Ron's pager is in this building?

Are you sure it's any of your business?

He's been acting funny.

I just want to make sure he's okay.

Then yes, the trace is solid.

Not so fast, Ferret.

Come on down.

( Yelping )

( gasps and sniffs )

Eww. Ron?

You in here?

Kim?

Use the Ferret Flicker.

No, that's the Ferret Tail.

We really should have gone over this before I went skulking.

Oh...

Try up here.

( Grunting )

Missy, this is none

of your business.

Making it my business, stinky.

( Yelling )

We'll meet again, Ferret.

( Iaughs )

So, wh-who are you supposed to be?

Just think of me as...

a friend.

Yeah, no, duh.

Ron.

That is so not cool to do to a super hero.

Retreat, retreat.

Preserve your secret identity.

Uh, got to go.

Nice cave you've got here.

Kim!

Um, it's a hole. The Ferret Hole.

And you're doing what exactly?

If somebody told you I was just an ordinary teenage sidekick,

somebody lied.

What?

I am the Fearless Ferret,

version 2.0.

Ahem!

And Wonder Weasel.

Um, I think it's great

you get to be all ferrety, but...

What have you done?

You know better

than to bring strangers to the Ferret Hole.

And without a mask.

You've compromised your secret identity.

She followed me, Mr. N.

This is my friend, Kim Possible.

She's wily.

Wily, eh?

Sounds like the Ferret Girl.

Quickly, don this costume.

Uh, thanks. No.

I don't get the whole superhero, secret identity thing.

What do you mean?

You chase bad guys, too.

Yeah, but my clothes are off the rack.

( Pager beeping )

Hey, Wade.

Who else knows you're here?

Who's that?

Long story. What's up?

You got a hit on the site

from the Lowerton Lemurs football team.

Someone stole their dirty laundry.

Weird.

Ron, you coming?

Indeed I am.

I will ferret out this crime as...

the Fearless Ferret.

Remember, the Fearless Ferret never plays second fiddle.

Sorry, old friend.

Wonder Weasel and I will handle this by ourselves, ferret style.

Yeah, I'll try to stay out of your way.

( High-pitched whistling )

( crashing )

( dance music playing )

ANNOUNCER: Tomorrow, four freaky hippies

become super spies in...

More TV trash?

The trashiest.

ANNOUNCER: Next up, the Fearless Ferret.

That's right, Wonder Weasel.

It's time to ferret out evil.

The Fearless Ferret is a TV character?

ANNOUNCER: Tonight's episode...

I can't believe it.

You should have seen

the "where are they now" special on the show.

The actors that played Ferret and White Stripe

are complete space cases.

They both totally thought the whole thing was real.

My best friend, space case.

Okay, Ferret, let's see you get out of this.

Hick-a-bick-a-boo.

ANNOUNCER: Can't get enough of the Fearless Ferret on TV Trash Heap?

Then come on down to Ferret Fest

at the Tri City Convention Center.

BOTH: Hoo-sha.

Meet your fellow.

Ferret fanciers.

Prizes to the best Ferret costume.

There's no better way to ferret out fun!

I've got to find Ron.

Shrouded in shrubbery,

the Fearless Ferret prepares to pounce.

Maybe punks pounce, ferrets do not.

Okay, how 'bout I... face my foe?

Better.

Throw in something about the skulking skunk.

You sure he's coming?

Definitely.

Hitting the perfume factory fits Stripe's M.O.

It's just a matter of time.

Hold the phone, partner.

I've got an intruder.

Nice moves, kid.

You sure you don't want to be Ferret Girl?

So sure.

Mr. North, we need to talk.

Oh, dear me.

Can somebody help a poor old lady?

FF One, FF Two here, copy?

FF One?

Hello, Mr. North?

Ah, looks like we're on our own, Wonder Weasel.

Flying solo.

Ahem!

Uh, flying duo, sorry.

( Crying )

What can the Fearless Ferret do for you, ma'am?

Smell my stink spray.

Eww!

( Gasping )

Whoa...

A TV show?

Yeah, that does ring a bell. Sort of.

Still, my fight against evil, that was real.

Not. Sorry.

Now about Ron...

Wait, what about my bum leg?

I definitely got this battling evil.

Uh, no.

You got it after your show was canceled,

when they had to forcibly remove you from the set.

Mr. North, I'm afraid you've lived

with all the show props for so long

that you began to think it was real.

Maybe.

Or maybe you're a fiendish foe

who wants me to believe I was only an actor.

Exhibit A. TV Trash Heap.

ANNOUNCER: Remember Ferret fans,

Ferret Fest is here

at the Tri City Convention Center.

Let's go, Wonder Weasel.

An actor?

Sorry, Mr. North.

Now about Ron.

I think White Stripe might also a be a bit confused.

Don't worry about your friend.

He's a... he's gone.

Gone where?

Clunk, where are you?

( Groans )

We got skunked.

Mm-hmm. Pu.

We're at the Tri City Convention Center.

Wow.

This is badical.

I've already got fans.

WHITE STRIPE: Oh, yes.

The foolish fans fawn over my ferrety foe.

Good one.

Thank you.

I hope you'll enjoy the view of my victory.

Huh? Behold!

So what? You've got one balloon.

I've got a whole convention.

Behold again.

Okay, yeah.

Ah, come on.

Just below the tail.

You're going to pop your own balloon?

That is no ordinary balloon, Ferret.

For it is filled with the foulest odor.

A stink that will cling to its victims for years to come.

( Iaughs )

( laughing )

( beeping )

KIM: I've located Ron.

He's at the Tri City Convention Center.

Just like the old days.

Racing to the rescue.

Only in the old days...

I was an actor in a TV show

that got canceled after two seasons.

Just reality checking.

What is this?

Ferret Fest.

Ron!

Back off, Farnsworth.

That name. I know that name.

You should, it's your name.

Rudolph Farnsworth, actor.

Had a one-time guest spot on the Fearless Ferret TV show.

RON: TV show?

Sorry, Ron.

The Fearless Ferret isn't real.

It's, well...

TV trash.

Well, what about the Ferret Hole

and all the other ferret stuff?

North spent all his money duplicating the set.

Ah, lies!

Smell my stink spray.

( Gasps ) Man, that stinks.

Kim!

Farewell, Ferret.

Whoo-hoo!

Time to step up.

Yeah!

( Grunting )

( beeping )

Hop aboard, Wonder Weasel.

Ta-dah.

Well done, Wonder Weasel.

( Grunting )

( beeping )

MAN: What kind of costume is that?

MAN 2: White Strip, one the lesser villains,

played by Rudolph Farnsworth.

He appeared only in episode 14.

Who you calling lesser?

( Grunting )

( beeping )

( grunting )

( beeping )

You okay, Ferret Girl?

Yeah.

Look! Timothy North!

In the flesh!

North has never been to a convention.

Ever!

Mr. North,

an autograph?

Tim? Timothy North?

Farnsworth.

So, what have you been up to, lately?

Oh, living each day in delusion,

thinking that fiction is reality.

That's me. Me, too.

( Fans shouting )

North is actually smiling.

Guess he just needed some Ron-shine in his life.

I'm a hero. It's what I do.

Way to go, hero.

WOMAN: TV Trash Heap is pulling in huge numbers.

I know.

We scrapped the bottom of the barrel.

The people eat it up.

I smell a promotion.

Oh!

Ugh!

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