Original subtitles

? Oh, yeah, yeah ?

? I'm your basic average girl ?

? And I'm here to save the world ?

? You can't stop me 'cause I'm... ?

? Kim Possible ?

? There is nothing I can't do ?

? When danger calls, just know that I am on my way ?

? Know that I am on my way ?

? It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble ?

? If you just call my name ?

? Kim Possible ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? When you want to page me, it's okay ?

? Whenever you need me, baby ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when ?

? Doesn't matter when ?

? I will be there for you till the very end ?

? Danger or trouble, I'm there on the double ?

? You know that you always can call Kim Possible. ?

( Alarm blaring )

The Kimber Diamond. It's gone.

( Slurping )

So, how much does a piece of ice like that go for?

The Kimber Diamond

is the most flawless gem in the world.

Its value is beyond any estimation.

I'm going to throw out a number... 250 bucks.

Sir, I really don't think...

$275!

Am I getting warmer?

Cool.

What-what is it?

WADE: Hair.

Canine hair, but not just any dog.

This follicle comes from a Lithuanian wolfhound,

one of the rarest breeds on earth.

And what would one of these dogs want with a diamond?

Why don't we focus on the person

who owns the dog, Ron?

That's just what the dog burglar

wants you to do.

WADE: Got it.

Falsetto Jones, the only breeder

of Lithuanian wolfhounds in the world.

He's rich, refined and possibly the world's greatest thief.

Falsetto is the number one suspect

in a lot of big-time robberies,

but they can never pin anything on him.

So, he's no ordinary cat burglar...

Dog burglar!

Come on, Kim,

get your head in the game.

WADE: Bad news... his estate is crawling with security.

No weak spots.

Good news... tomorrow night, Falsetto hosts his annual

open dog show.

So all we need to get inside...

is a show dog.

Yes, my Gigi has

a tr�s sensitive tummy, mais non?

Now, you must remember to feed her

only two parts champion gourmet wet food,

one part champion gourmet dry food

avec a sprinkle of truffle, yes?

Two parts wet, one part dry,

sprinkle of truffles.

Got it.

Two parts wet, one part dry.

Two parts wet...

one part dry, a sprinkle of... Ron!

No!

No. Gigi, bad.

Relax, KP, there's plenty of Mucho Galleta

cheesetillas.

( Groans )

KIM: Ron, what were you thinking?

Feeding Bueno Nacho to a champion show dog?

( Burps )

RON: Ah, Rufus downs this stuff

all the time.

He's cool.

News flash, Ron... Rufus is a rat,

not a champion show dog

( sputtering )

Gigi is in no condition to enter a dog show

and we land in 15.

Any ideas?

Heh?

( Dogs barking )

All right, we're gonna pull this off.

You're gonna have to look dog,

act dog and think dog. Got it?

Woof.

Okay. Now, do as I do.

( Panting )

Okay, sit.

Thanks.

Woof. Woof.

( Barks )

Woof.

( Barking )

( squeaking )

( questioning barks )

Ah...

I'm sorry, what breed did you say this was?

Um, a... Peruvian...

Hairless.

Huh?

I'm still not seeing anything

here in the official...

Maybe you should consult with my friend Mr. Lincoln.

See if he can improve your eyesight a bit,

if you, you know, catch my drift.

Ron.

This is a prestigious international competition.

And I'm speaking the prestigious

international language of cold, hard cash.

Five dollars is hardly...

MAN: Ah... Yes... here it is.

A Hairless Peruvian, very good.

( Contented sigh )

There he is, Falsetto Jones.

RON: Why do you think he's called "Falsetto"?

( Falsetto ): Welcome humans and canines alike

to my annual dog show!

Freak helium accident.

Ouch. I need time

to infiltrate the main house.

Try to keep a low profile.

You got it. Low pro.

Good dog.

I'm liking the stealth suit, Wade.

Knew you would, Kim.

And the pond is filled with...

Don't tell me. Sharks? Crocs?

Electric eels, actually.

The bad-villain puns just write themselves.

Shocking, isn't it?

ANNOUNCER: And now the Toy Group is being led

onto the floor by their handlers.

MAN 1: Uh. What is that entrant that looks like a bald rodent?

MAN 2: I'm told that's a Peruvian Hairless.

Very rare,

it's quite exciting to have one in this year's show.

MAN 1: Well, let's see how the judges like it.

( Squeals )

Hey!

Heh. You gotta admire

that kind of spirit in such a small dog.

Of course, there's a time for spirit

and a time for laying low.

( Growling )

I'm in.

MAN 2: Let's see who it'll be.

This judge is taking his time.

Clearly a tough decision.

And it's the Peruvian Hairless taking the Toy Group.

Hey!

( Applause )

MAN 1: And in his first show ever, huh?

It's quite an upset.

And he'll move on to the finals.

Who's the dog!

If I were a flawless diamond, where would I hide?

Blueprints show some kind of vault deep under the house.

On my way. I...

( gasps )

Oh, that's quite an animal you have there, Mr...?

The name's Van Foker Dumple ( coughs ) Stein.

Doctor Van Foker Dumple ( coughs ) Stein, actually.

Funny, in all my years of hosting this show,

I've never seen anything quite like him.

Well, as I'm sure you know, the Groovy Hairless...

Peruvian Hairless?

Yes! He's practically

one of a kind.

I feel compelled to ask you a question,

Dr. Foker Dumple ( coughs ) Stein.

Fire away.

Can I have your autograph?

Hey. Sure. Anything for a fan.

Not your autograph,

His.

Ah. Mine.

And Bingo was his name-o.

Hello, beautiful.

Sorry, KP.

The low-profile thing didn't exactly work out.

He's a naked mole rat.

Purchased at the Middleton Smarty Mart

by Mr. Ron Stoppable, sidekick to teen hero Kim Possible.

I ran a check on his autograph.

Feed that useless rat to my beloved wolfhounds.

I have a special treat

planned for you two.

I think you'll find this quite shocking.

Called that one.

He's getting away!

MAN 2: The finalists are on the floor...

All except for the Peruvian Hairless.

MAN 1: Wait!

There he is now.

( Whistles "fetch" )

Come and get it.

( Dogs barking )

MAN 2: And it appears we have pandemonium on the floor.

Uh...

Aren't you going to leave now?

Leave? What do you mean?

Oh, usually the bad guy

says his lame pun and then walks out,

you know, leaving us to our doom.

But then I'd miss the whole thing.

Where's the fun in that?

I'm not going anywhere.

Okay, but I feel I must warn you,

that you're really breaking a supervillain tradition here.

( Shrieks )

Hey!

( Iaughing )

Ooh, oh, stop, that really, really tickles.

Get them.

Hi.

Show's over, Kim Possible.

So not.

Jump!

Okay, you can hit the button

for the parachute any time now.

Sorry, no parachute.

No parachute?!

Hit it, Sam.

The Peruvian Hairless saves the day.

Rufus is definitely

best in show.

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? When you want to page me, it's okay ?

? Whenever you need me, baby ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me. ?

( Beeping )

RON: That brings us to item 432 in my Care of Rufus Guide...

Singing.

KIM: He sings?

No, you sing.

Sing what?

"Rock-a-bye Baby."

Well, actually he prefers "Rock-a-bye Rufus."

Here, watch.

? Rock-a-bye Rufus in the treetop ?

? When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. ?

Ron, I know I agreed to take care of Rufus

while you and the fam tour France,

but there is zero chance of me serenading a naked mole rat.

Kim, lullabies are a cornerstone

of naked mole rat care.

It's the only thing guaranteed

to put Rufus instantly to sleep.

Monkey Fist?!

Duff Killagan?!

Shego?!

All right, we're out of here.

Let's move on to item 433, shall we?

( Groans )

KIM: We can cross recovering one ultrasecret.

X-14 microchip off our to-do list.

I'll arrange for you to return it

to the Greetinex Corporation first thing tomorrow.

Please and thank you.

I...

Okay, all set here, Kim.

I've left you our itinerary and contact numbers.

Oh, Rufus, buddy, if it weren't for that zero rodent policy

at Le Hotel Laurent,

you'd be coming with us.

( Sobs ): Bye.

( Beeping )

I'll call to check up on him.

( Smacking )

Rufus, how am I supposed to get to my bed?

( Thunder )

Hmm? ( beeping )

The microchip? It's been located.

( Bagpipe music plays )

( beeping )

( beeping )

More?

Rufus, you've already eaten through

two months of my allowance.

More.

All right, all right.

Another Que Cerrito Nacho Platter coming right up.

( Beeps )

Kim, we got a problem.

I'm picking up a signal from the microchip.

The chip is in my room.

Not anymore.

Satellite thermo enhancement shows

the signal is coming from Bueno Nacho.

Where?

Inside Rufus.

Rufus?

You'd better get him to a secure location before...

Monkey ninjas, attack!

( Screeching )

Hello, rodent.

( Iaughs )

Come, my monkey minions.

Wade, do you have a lock on the microchip's signal?

I'm running a flight projection based on current airspeed

and jet stream variations.

Fine. But whatever you do, don't tell Ron...

Yo, yo, yo, Kim.

Le Ron here.

How's everything going?

You know, according to my schedule,

Rufus should be on his way to aromatherapy.

Um, actually, it's quiet time right now.

Well, wake the little guy up.

I can't do that, Ron.

I can't do that because of item number 237

in your Care of Rufus Guide:

"It is essential for mole rats

to get at least 20 hours of sleep a day."

That's exactly what I wanted to hear you say, K.P.

See, that was a test.

Obviously, I put my trust in the right person.

Le Ron out.

Wade, talk to me and please make it good news.

Monkey Fist's plane is headed for a remote landing strip

in the French Alps.

If I call in the right favors,

I can have you there half an hour after he lands.

( Beeping )

It appears you have bitten off more than you can chew,

my little friend.

Come on, say "ah."

Ah...

Monkey ninjas, attack!

Thank you, lassie.

( Screams )

( bagpipe music plays )

Fore!

Welcome aboard.

( Gasps )

Sorry, missy,

but this is where I get off.

Enjoy your flight.

It's only going to last a wee 22 seconds.

( Cackles )

Huh?

( Beeping )

( beeps ) Hey, Kim, you there?

Uh, yeah.

Hi, Ron.

How's Paris?

C'est est tr�s magnifique.

How's everything there?

Rufus giving you any trouble?

'Course not.

Well, put the little guy on.

Uh, sure. Let me get him.

What in the...?

Here, Rufus, say hi to Ron.

( Squeaking )

Hey, Kim, is everything okay?

He sounds kind of freaked.

Oh, he misses you, that's all.

Okay, got to go, bye-bye.

( Dial tone )

Say fromage.

Merci tr�s bien.

( Gasps )

Gotcha.

( Elevator dings )

Fore!

( Gasps )

Gotcha.

Super.

( Iaughs ) ( screams )

( gasps )

Thanks.

Find him!

( Gasps, blows raspberry )

Paris is just so... so peaceful.

( Yells )

( screams )

Rufus.

( Dings )

( yelling )

Rufus, jump down to me.

Nuh-uh.

Rufus, jump now.

No way.

? Rock-a-bye Rufus in the treetop ?

? When the wind blows, the cradle will rock ?

? When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall ?

? And down will come Rufus, cradle and all. ?

( Snores )

( dings )

Who's up for the Louvre?

( Beeps ) And then we hit the Arc de Triumph

and Nottery Dame.

Surprisingly, French fries

and French toast are in short supply here.

So what's up with you guys?

Oh, you know.

Same old, same old.

Same-o, same-o.

Oh, got to go, Ron.

Yeah, later, K.P.

We can't thank you enough, Kim Possible.

Our rivals in the greeting card industry

would pay any price to acquire this chip.

Oh. No big... wait. Wait...

I'm sorry, did you say the "greeting card" industry?

Oh, yes, it's quite competitive.

I'm sure the thief who acquired this chip

would be paid a fortune.

( Plays "Rock-a-bye Baby" )

"Congratulations, it's a girl."

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