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1
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Work's been pretty busy lately.
2
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We have a new exhibition
by an artist called...
3
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Jonathan Ben Daniels.
4
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Now Ben Daniels calls this collection
"The anonymous gathering".
5
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Not very lifelike if you ask me.
6
00:00:20,764 --> 00:00:24,776
Apparently Jonathan Ben Daniels based
this one on his own physic.
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Which must means he
doesn't have any genitalia.
8
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Oh, this one here is even less lifelike.
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I mean, look at that...
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Nothing, nothing at all.
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Don, I want a word.
12
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- But it does speak, which is a nice touch.
- Excuse us for one second.
13
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I heard you were late again today.
14
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Oh, yeah but I got a good excuse.
15
00:00:45,653 --> 00:00:47,488
Right, and what is it this time?
16
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- Did you have another stroke?
- That wasn't a lie!
17
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There you are, I heard
you were late again today.
18
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Yeah I've had a stroke.
19
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You were saying ?
20
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Allright, maybe that was a lie.
21
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But I couldn't help it this morning,
I was in a terrible car crash.
22
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Excuse me, my friend and I would like to
know what time you finish work?
23
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- Why is that then?
- Well, Felicity thinks you're cute.
24
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Right, I hope you're not Felicity
and speaking in 3rd person.
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Don hates that.
26
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Excuse me?
27
00:01:20,676 --> 00:01:21,736
Nothing.
28
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You must come along too.
29
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- What?
- What?
30
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We'll be in the bar.
31
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Across the road.
32
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- What do you recon then?
- No.
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Come on, we might have a laugh!
34
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But Don, I don't really like you.
35
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Oh I know what this is about.
36
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Yeah, it's because
I don't really like you.
37
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It's because we're work colleagues.
38
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You don't want me
to see you drunk, do you?
39
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No, it's because
I don't really like you.
40
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But look, your one
is well up for it.
41
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She's quite cute I guess.
42
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Heh, you see?
43
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It doesn't matter that you and
I are totally different.
44
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Maybe that's our thing.
45
00:02:00,603 --> 00:02:03,503
We can be like the "Lethal weapon"
of double dating.
46
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I'm Riggs by the way,
you're Murtaugh.
47
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You know, the black one.
48
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Revision: Cristianell�
49
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Season 03 Episode 03 - "Don Meets His Maker"
50
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And so, for the first time ever,
I was socializing with Jason
51
00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:30,061
And on the pull, no less.
52
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I mean, to be honest,
I don't dig all that post-modern stuff
53
00:02:33,279 --> 00:02:35,705
Do people still say "post-modern"?
54
00:02:35,740 --> 00:02:37,419
So what's it about what do you prefer?
55
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Oh, call me old-fashioned,
but I like paintings, and drawings
56
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You know? Art.
57
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:45,927
I was hugely influenced by the 80s movement
58
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- Who?
- Well, you know, Harris.
59
00:02:48,123 --> 00:02:49,366
He means Rolf.
60
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- Hart.
- Tony.
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00:02:51,139 --> 00:02:53,096
- Buchanan.
- Neil.
62
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:57,181
Although, technically, Neil Buchanan was early 90s, right Jason?
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You're an absolute hoot!
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I am, aren't I?
65
00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:03,826
What is a hoot?
66
00:03:04,959 --> 00:03:08,196
Look, same again? And I might as well get some Samuel Bucas, yeah?
67
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,231
Yeah?
68
00:03:09,879 --> 00:03:11,179
Yeah...
69
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,776
What on earth made you employ him?
70
00:03:16,811 --> 00:03:19,594
He was actually very good in his interview.
71
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He knew a lot about the artists we were exhibiting at the time.
72
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- Really?
- Yeah.
73
00:03:23,799 --> 00:03:27,383
Well, turns out he'd memorized the flyers
while he was waiting to be interviewed.
74
00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:30,696
- Why don't you just fire him?
- Oh, he's nice!
75
00:03:30,731 --> 00:03:33,179
I've tried many, many times,
76
00:03:33,214 --> 00:03:36,416
but he has this uncanny ability to make me change my mind.
77
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- You're firing me?
- Yes.
78
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You can't do that!
79
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Don't, please! No!
80
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Don't fire me!
81
00:03:43,893 --> 00:03:46,493
I got leukemia and he's firing me!
82
00:03:47,614 --> 00:03:50,136
Ok, Don, ok! You can keep your job...
83
00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:52,558
...just put your clothes back on!
84
00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:56,246
Thanks, Jas. Is it lunch, yet?
85
00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:01,289
I mean, in a way he's kind of amazing.
86
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,076
Here we go, drinks...
87
00:04:03,111 --> 00:04:06,133
...and...Sammy Bucas...
88
00:04:06,274 --> 00:04:07,294
You...right.
89
00:04:07,329 --> 00:04:09,696
What are we talking about, then?
90
00:04:10,982 --> 00:04:12,320
Rembrandt.
91
00:04:12,355 --> 00:04:13,355
Who?
92
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:17,536
- My one's up for coming back with me.
- Congratulations, Don.
93
00:04:17,814 --> 00:04:20,696
Well, you say that, but posh girls can be prudish.
94
00:04:20,829 --> 00:04:24,107
I mean, I don't want to spend all night in bed with her and not actually do anything.
95
00:04:24,142 --> 00:04:26,792
It leaves a man with sad, aching balls.
96
00:04:27,115 --> 00:04:28,816
What a poetic image.
97
00:04:29,052 --> 00:04:30,844
This has been fun, right?
98
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,461
Yeah, it's been the best ight of my life, Don.
99
00:04:33,496 --> 00:04:36,044
I'll catch you later, Murtaugh.
100
00:04:37,731 --> 00:04:39,816
And so I took Felicity back to my place.
101
00:04:40,055 --> 00:04:43,355
I've never had someone this posh in my bedroom before.
102
00:04:44,254 --> 00:04:48,986
Look. It's difficoult for guys to have lots of foreplay without actually...
103
00:04:49,220 --> 00:04:50,553
...well, you know...
104
00:04:50,921 --> 00:04:54,499
...and you seem like a very respectful lady, so I'm not gonna start...
105
00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:56,431
Shut up!
106
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Holy Kostner!
107
00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,629
No one's ever done that before!
108
00:05:31,677 --> 00:05:34,205
This is...pretty...wild.
109
00:05:37,639 --> 00:05:39,982
Candle wax on the nipples...that's nothing.
110
00:05:40,329 --> 00:05:42,429
I'm not gonna light it.
111
00:05:45,468 --> 00:05:48,818
- Who's your daddy?
- I told you, I'm an orphan!
112
00:05:48,853 --> 00:05:51,702
- I said: who's your daddy?
- You are?
113
00:05:55,929 --> 00:05:57,679
This feels a bit weird.
114
00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,696
This feels a bit weird, uncle Peter!
115
00:06:04,825 --> 00:06:09,576
I'm not sure...what...I...get out of this!
116
00:06:26,494 --> 00:06:27,944
Morning, kids!
117
00:06:28,522 --> 00:06:29,997
Oh, and you, Brian
118
00:06:30,032 --> 00:06:32,358
Top of the morning, Donald!
119
00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,594
It's funny, isn't it?
120
00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:36,887
Love happens when you least expect it.
121
00:06:36,922 --> 00:06:40,022
- You're in love? With who?
- Her name is Felicity...
122
00:06:40,391 --> 00:06:41,391
I think...
123
00:06:41,868 --> 00:06:43,568
Yeah, yeah, it's Felicity.
124
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How exciting!
125
00:06:45,161 --> 00:06:47,125
What makes you think it's love?
126
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,056
Well, A: the sex is amazing.
127
00:06:54,007 --> 00:06:55,543
- Is there a B?
- No.
128
00:06:55,578 --> 00:06:57,941
You seem really happy, Don.
That's wonderful!
129
00:06:57,976 --> 00:07:00,582
I'm telling you Brian: she is filthy.
130
00:07:00,725 --> 00:07:03,579
Really, really dirty.
131
00:07:04,575 --> 00:07:05,982
That's great!
132
00:07:06,336 --> 00:07:08,817
Oh, man. She's my ticket out of this dump.
133
00:07:08,852 --> 00:07:10,169
What are you talking about?
134
00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:12,950
Well, she's like royal or something...
135
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,832
- Hello!
- Hi!
136
00:07:15,867 --> 00:07:18,064
Everyone: this is Felicity.
137
00:07:18,299 --> 00:07:19,799
My friends call me Fleec.
138
00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,024
Why?
139
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It's short for Felicity.
140
00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:25,290
I guess.
141
00:07:26,137 --> 00:07:30,337
Would you like me to run you a bath, Fleec?
Don's been telling me how filthy you are.
142
00:07:31,521 --> 00:07:33,080
I never said that.
143
00:07:33,115 --> 00:07:34,765
Yeah. Yes, you did.
144
00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:39,096
Just now. You said she was really, really dirty.
145
00:07:43,132 --> 00:07:44,132
Right!
146
00:07:44,348 --> 00:07:47,148
- Well, I better get going!
- Yeah, I'll see you out.
147
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You were amazing last night.
148
00:07:57,220 --> 00:07:59,896
You fancy doing that again, later?
149
00:08:00,115 --> 00:08:03,021
No, I can't. I'm off to mummy and daddy's for the weekend.
150
00:08:03,056 --> 00:08:05,150
Oh my God, you should come with!
151
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,256
Harriet's joining us. It's lovely down there. We can...shoot game...
152
00:08:08,291 --> 00:08:10,436
...get sozzled on daddy's plonk.
153
00:08:10,471 --> 00:08:11,621
Yeah, sorry...
154
00:08:11,831 --> 00:08:13,789
...my posh isn't great...what?
155
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,060
What?
156
00:08:15,208 --> 00:08:17,622
Just say: yes Fleec,
that would be lovely!
157
00:08:17,657 --> 00:08:19,736
Yes Fleec, that would be lovely.
158
00:08:20,574 --> 00:08:23,574
- I adore how subservient you are.
- Eh, thanks.
159
00:08:24,409 --> 00:08:28,230
What does "sub serbient" means?
160
00:08:31,978 --> 00:08:34,061
Punching above your weight, aren't you?
161
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:35,433
What are you talking about, Gollum?
162
00:08:35,468 --> 00:08:38,400
That posh slut, what she sees in you?
163
00:08:38,958 --> 00:08:42,216
Well, clearly she sees a cool sofisticaded guy!
164
00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:51,056
- Bite me! All of you!
- Oh, Don...
165
00:08:54,900 --> 00:08:59,890
Her parents house was huge!
It was like something out of a Keira Knightley novel.
166
00:09:05,150 --> 00:09:07,416
The girls invited Jason along, too.
167
00:09:12,456 --> 00:09:16,736
Just think Murtaugh...one day, this could all be mine!
168
00:09:17,736 --> 00:09:18,736
What?
169
00:09:18,974 --> 00:09:20,616
You're punching above your weight, Don.
170
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,416
Why do people keep saying that?
171
00:09:22,483 --> 00:09:23,776
Because you are.
172
00:09:23,877 --> 00:09:26,419
Oh, you think you're a part of the furniture, do you?
173
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:29,242
Don, I deal with these people all the time.
174
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:32,087
You see, a lot of posh types buy art, you know?
175
00:09:32,122 --> 00:09:34,536
Jas, I'm a social comediant.
176
00:09:34,788 --> 00:09:36,353
Once I finish with these lot,
177
00:09:36,388 --> 00:09:38,787
they'll think I'm Lord Donald of Danbury.
178
00:09:38,822 --> 00:09:40,722
Well, we'll see...
179
00:09:41,404 --> 00:09:44,000
Chaps? What you doing? Chop chop!
180
00:09:51,297 --> 00:09:54,647
- Wellington, why don't you take Jason and Harriet to their room.
- Of course, my lady.
181
00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:58,368
Wow! You've got a butler!
182
00:09:58,403 --> 00:10:02,398
- There she is, my little princess!
- Daddy!
183
00:10:03,072 --> 00:10:05,983
Her dad was immense
and immensely posh.
184
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,662
He made me feel like an oink.
185
00:10:07,697 --> 00:10:10,797
Harrison Harshton Lord,
of the Hampshire Harshton Lords.
186
00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:12,286
Maybe they were right.
187
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:15,501
Maybe I was punching above my weight.
I mean, what must he see?
188
00:10:18,314 --> 00:10:20,614
Big Issue? Big Issue, sir?
189
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:23,790
All right guv'nor? Apples and pears!
190
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,479
Is that Prince William?
191
00:10:28,532 --> 00:10:30,799
I've just parked my van on the lawn...
192
00:10:30,834 --> 00:10:35,145
...so don't be getting any one to move it, right, cause I'd be well vexed.
193
00:10:35,180 --> 00:10:36,180
You alright?
194
00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:43,456
Stick the kettle on, will you, love?
195
00:10:44,565 --> 00:10:48,850
Right. I'm going to unpack. I'll leave you two boys to get to know each other.
196
00:10:48,885 --> 00:10:50,756
Ok, puppet.
197
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,104
I don't like you.
198
00:10:57,889 --> 00:11:00,524
- You don't know me.
- I don't wish to.
199
00:11:01,213 --> 00:11:04,536
Felicity is my only child, my only daughter, you were aware of that?
200
00:11:04,654 --> 00:11:06,398
Well, you must be very proud my Lord.
201
00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,307
You know that she's still a virgin?
202
00:11:09,272 --> 00:11:11,022
Does that surprise you?
203
00:11:11,727 --> 00:11:15,696
- A little bit...
-I want it to stay that way, you hear?
204
00:11:15,853 --> 00:11:18,423
- What?
- You keep it that way, you hear?
205
00:11:18,536 --> 00:11:20,432
I can't hear you!
206
00:11:20,692 --> 00:11:22,229
Sex...
207
00:11:22,468 --> 00:11:26,176
...is for the weak minded.
It's disgusting. It's overrated.
208
00:11:26,581 --> 00:11:29,416
- You don't like sex?
- Why do you think I only have one child?
209
00:11:29,618 --> 00:11:30,661
I don't know...
210
00:11:30,696 --> 00:11:31,616
Are you Chinese?
211
00:11:39,878 --> 00:11:42,918
- Did daddy give you a talking to?
- Yeah, he's frightening, isn't he?
212
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:46,669
What? Puss Puss? No, he's a softy underneath it all
213
00:11:47,091 --> 00:11:49,856
- Puss Puss?
- When I was a girl I used to call him Puss Puss.
214
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:54,689
- He reminded me of a family pet, you see.
- What did you have, a lion?
215
00:11:54,950 --> 00:11:57,180
Yeah! Did daddy tell you?
216
00:11:58,564 --> 00:12:02,541
Sadly we had to put him to sleep.
He chewed the maid's face off.
217
00:12:02,576 --> 00:12:06,594
- Poor old Puss Puss.
- Poor old Puss Puss? What about the maid?
218
00:12:06,629 --> 00:12:09,029
Maria is fine, She's still with us.
219
00:12:10,851 --> 00:12:13,312
- What you doing?
- What you doing, more like?
220
00:12:13,347 --> 00:12:15,158
I'm having a poo, Don. Do you mind?
221
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:17,849
Sorry sweetie! Jason's bathroom, Donald.
222
00:12:17,884 --> 00:12:20,440
Knock before you enter, that's a good chap.
223
00:12:20,475 --> 00:12:22,560
Ah...what's that for?
224
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:25,936
- It's to stimulate the vagina.
- Yeah, I know that.
225
00:12:26,153 --> 00:12:27,353
Or the sphincter.
226
00:12:27,462 --> 00:12:30,689
I might want to use it later.
Although not on me!
227
00:12:31,756 --> 00:12:35,704
Right! I think Puss Puss have fun planned for us today.
228
00:12:35,739 --> 00:12:40,457
- You up for outdoor larks?
- Yeah, outdoor larks sound great!
229
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:44,296
3 Outdoor Larks
230
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:48,116
Here we go! There he comes!
231
00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:51,547
Super!
232
00:12:51,582 --> 00:12:54,624
Oh, hang on! Hang on!
233
00:13:15,690 --> 00:13:16,709
Sorry!
234
00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:19,942
Play away, Jason.
235
00:13:22,557 --> 00:13:24,573
Ah, sweet!
236
00:13:35,333 --> 00:13:39,696
The day hadn't gone great, and I really wasn't scoring any points with Felicity's dad.
237
00:13:40,198 --> 00:13:44,635
Don't worry. Wellington's arm will be fine.
It's only a flesh wound.
238
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:46,770
I've never shot someone before.
239
00:13:46,906 --> 00:13:51,063
You are getting changed into something nice, aren't you?
We're meeting the rest of the family at din dins.
240
00:13:51,098 --> 00:13:54,896
Yeah, of course. I knew the sort of place I was coming to.
241
00:13:56,463 --> 00:13:58,746
It's my granddad's. Nice, hey?
242
00:13:59,697 --> 00:14:01,275
Let's get going...
243
00:14:07,171 --> 00:14:09,712
I was introduced to everyone else at dinner.
244
00:14:09,747 --> 00:14:13,172
Felicity's mother was literally the poshest woman I'd ever met.
245
00:14:13,207 --> 00:14:17,476
Do you think we should get Wellington born down?
He's not as useful with one arm.
246
00:14:17,511 --> 00:14:19,930
But at least she wasn't as crazy as the dad.
247
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:23,999
The best thing about being in the Army is you can take a man's life
248
00:14:24,034 --> 00:14:26,016
and it isn't against the law.
249
00:14:26,154 --> 00:14:31,119
And then there was auntie Orthensia.
Well, she didn't speak at all, so it's hard to tell what she's like.
250
00:14:31,154 --> 00:14:33,016
- You alright?
- No, she's not.
251
00:14:33,051 --> 00:14:36,410
She's been in a state of shock ever since her boys were killed.
252
00:14:36,445 --> 00:14:37,616
Sorry.
253
00:14:38,967 --> 00:14:41,517
- How did they die?
- Car crash.
254
00:14:42,921 --> 00:14:45,296
Hmm...that's a French Malbec?
255
00:14:45,416 --> 00:14:50,197
- I'm impressed, you know your wine.
- No, not really.
256
00:14:50,547 --> 00:14:54,019
- Danbury, how's yours.
- Oh, yeah...
257
00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:58,708
Shit, that's good.
258
00:14:59,007 --> 00:15:01,656
But can you guess what it is?
259
00:15:03,059 --> 00:15:05,936
Well, it's uh... wine, right?
260
00:15:06,464 --> 00:15:07,741
Philistine...
261
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:10,496
Where's Maria with the bloody food?
262
00:15:11,776 --> 00:15:15,861
Dude, can you stop sucking up to the dad, please? I need him to like me!
263
00:15:15,896 --> 00:15:18,735
- What? I'm not sucking up.
- Stop whispering!
264
00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:20,931
Yes, my lord. Sorry, my lord.
265
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:23,696
- Caviar, sir?
- Ah yes. HOLY FUCK!
266
00:15:27,630 --> 00:15:29,687
Donald, this is Maria...
267
00:15:30,046 --> 00:15:32,342
the housemaid I told you about.
268
00:15:33,372 --> 00:15:36,093
You have a kind face.
269
00:15:38,065 --> 00:15:40,373
You have a lovely...
270
00:15:40,819 --> 00:15:41,865
mask.
271
00:15:42,878 --> 00:15:45,016
Jason, tell me...
272
00:15:45,535 --> 00:15:48,856
you see a lot of black chaps on the rugby pitch,
273
00:15:48,891 --> 00:15:53,256
but very few dark faces in the stands. Why is that?
274
00:16:01,032 --> 00:16:02,897
I'm more of a cricket man.
275
00:16:02,932 --> 00:16:07,941
Oh, good. Maybe we can knock a ball around tomorrow at past meridian.
276
00:16:09,538 --> 00:16:12,107
Yeah, ok.
277
00:16:17,963 --> 00:16:19,741
It tastes like gas!
278
00:16:21,434 --> 00:16:23,237
I mean it's...
279
00:16:23,636 --> 00:16:26,052
Yummy, yummy gas...
280
00:16:28,024 --> 00:16:31,936
It was so frustrating. I didn't seem to be able to do anything right.
281
00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:34,416
Meanwhile, Jason was Mister Perfect.
282
00:16:41,396 --> 00:16:45,421
- Oh, absolutely wonderful, Jason!
- No, no, it was all the piano's doing,
283
00:16:45,456 --> 00:16:47,536
I just touch the key.
284
00:16:49,657 --> 00:16:52,005
I thought faking interest in the old freaky aunt
285
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,001
might show them all I was a nice guy.
286
00:16:54,036 --> 00:16:55,315
You alright, love?
287
00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:57,666
Get your treacherous arms off her!
288
00:16:57,701 --> 00:16:59,731
I was just seeing if she's ok...
289
00:16:59,766 --> 00:17:01,605
It must be really tough for her,
290
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:03,897
losing her boys like that...
291
00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:05,432
How old were they?
292
00:17:05,769 --> 00:17:08,479
- 6, 8 and 12.
- Oh, man...
293
00:17:08,835 --> 00:17:09,896
That's awful.
294
00:17:10,493 --> 00:17:13,455
Graham was the youngest, then Bilbo...
295
00:17:13,913 --> 00:17:15,483
then Peanuts.
296
00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:18,473
Sorry...
297
00:17:18,508 --> 00:17:22,822
sorry, it's just, you know, where I'm from, you wouldn't call a child "Peanuts".
298
00:17:23,694 --> 00:17:26,319
- Peanuts was a korgi.
- A korgi?
299
00:17:27,139 --> 00:17:29,799
- You mean her boys were dogs?
- Yeah.
300
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:32,711
Ah, right! Well, what's all the fuss about?
301
00:17:32,909 --> 00:17:35,089
Just get yourself some new ones, love!
302
00:17:35,924 --> 00:17:39,404
And there was me, thinking she'd named her son "Peanuts".
303
00:17:39,439 --> 00:17:43,603
Although, actually...Graham is a weird name for a dog, isn't it?
304
00:17:47,028 --> 00:17:48,767
No, no, no, that's a good thing!
305
00:17:48,802 --> 00:17:53,202
Means she's in there, somewhere. Not a total cabbage.
306
00:18:01,103 --> 00:18:04,219
- Your family hate me!
- Of course they do, Donald.
307
00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:05,404
You're common.
308
00:18:05,588 --> 00:18:07,864
And that's exactly why I like you.
309
00:18:08,052 --> 00:18:09,334
- Really?
- Yeah.
310
00:18:09,369 --> 00:18:10,834
You're exciting.
311
00:18:10,869 --> 00:18:11,832
Thanks.
312
00:18:11,867 --> 00:18:13,547
- naughty...
- Well, I try...
313
00:18:13,582 --> 00:18:15,265
- Stupid.
- Yep.
314
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,269
- What?
- Well, are we going to screw each other
315
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:19,464
my parents haven't got Wellington out, yet.
316
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:22,496
- What does that mean, exactly?
- Catch.
317
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:27,690
I don't think we should get up to any hanky-panky while we're here.
What your dad hears us?
318
00:18:27,725 --> 00:18:30,737
- His room is on the other side of the building.
- Yeah but, what if we're loud?
319
00:18:30,772 --> 00:18:34,072
I mean, some of the things you do to me really make me yelp!
320
00:18:34,107 --> 00:18:35,082
Yelp?
321
00:18:35,117 --> 00:18:37,854
Whatever the manly version of "yelping" is.
322
00:18:37,889 --> 00:18:40,217
Don't worry. I've got just the thing.
323
00:18:44,238 --> 00:18:49,238
No, no, dear, I do not know what the collective noun for pigeons is.
324
00:18:51,176 --> 00:18:53,919
Pigents? Pigeouneers?
325
00:18:55,190 --> 00:18:57,097
You look so cute.
326
00:18:57,132 --> 00:19:00,956
Cute? I look like I've borrowed Marilyn Manson's underwear.
327
00:19:00,991 --> 00:19:02,976
Why can't we just do it in our nude suits?
328
00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:04,216
That's so boring!
329
00:19:04,388 --> 00:19:06,098
I like to dress up.
330
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:08,252
Don't tell me you haven't done this sort of things before.
331
00:19:08,287 --> 00:19:10,873
I had sex, once, dressed as Apollo Creed...
332
00:19:10,908 --> 00:19:13,758
but the make-up just got really messy...
333
00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:17,776
- You have got to be shitting me...
- It will stop you from yelping.
334
00:19:19,364 --> 00:19:20,731
I'm scared...
335
00:19:31,640 --> 00:19:32,775
Ready?
336
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:36,741
Princess!
337
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:37,906
Are you awake?
338
00:19:37,941 --> 00:19:40,691
One second, Puss Puss.
Quick, get in the bathroom!
339
00:19:48,677 --> 00:19:50,545
What is it, daddy?
340
00:19:50,739 --> 00:19:53,464
- Where is Danbury?
- Oh, he, ehm...
341
00:19:53,499 --> 00:19:55,799
Wanted to get some fresh air.
342
00:19:56,044 --> 00:19:59,239
When are you going to bring
home a nice lad?
343
00:19:59,274 --> 00:20:00,643
Donald is nice...
344
00:20:00,678 --> 00:20:03,891
I mean someone we can welcome
into the family...
345
00:20:03,926 --> 00:20:05,785
And want you to get married maybe to.
346
00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:07,620
You see, I don't trust the man.
347
00:20:08,110 --> 00:20:11,002
I think he might be a bad
influence on you.
348
00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:13,524
Oh, come on daddy, I'm tired.
349
00:20:13,988 --> 00:20:18,816
I'd be terribly upset if I ever discovered
you'd already bumped your hiny.
350
00:20:20,849 --> 00:20:22,120
What's that?
351
00:20:22,995 --> 00:20:24,995
- Ehm...
- Is that him?
352
00:20:25,316 --> 00:20:27,243
No daddy, I told you...
353
00:20:27,278 --> 00:20:28,954
He's outside.
354
00:20:34,874 --> 00:20:36,723
Oh, naughty.
355
00:20:39,018 --> 00:20:41,852
Nice pyjama's, Don.
356
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:45,102
Sorry, I didn't quite get that...
357
00:20:47,316 --> 00:20:50,410
Eh, let me see... something
about an aqueduct?
358
00:20:53,825 --> 00:20:55,825
Wow, wow, wow... No need
to swear.
359
00:20:56,112 --> 00:20:57,112
Open up!
360
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:02,507
Sorry Don...
361
00:21:03,864 --> 00:21:08,114
I can't understand you... with
that... ball in your mouth.
362
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,330
- Was there another person in here?
- Just Harriet.
363
00:21:20,365 --> 00:21:22,525
I said person, not woman!
364
00:21:37,473 --> 00:21:40,210
Well okay puppet, sweet dreams.
365
00:21:40,245 --> 00:21:42,136
I hope I'm in them.
366
00:21:45,306 --> 00:21:47,265
Cup of coco, mylady
367
00:21:59,975 --> 00:22:01,025
Wellington!
368
00:22:01,162 --> 00:22:03,298
- Sir?
- Have you seen Danburry?
369
00:22:03,542 --> 00:22:04,777
I'm afraid not, sir.
370
00:22:04,812 --> 00:22:07,559
- I don't like him, Wellington.
- I understand sir.
371
00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:10,736
I don't like the way he looks
at my precious daughter.
372
00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:13,935
I want to grab hold of
that boys penis.
373
00:22:13,970 --> 00:22:15,320
Hold it tight.
374
00:22:15,435 --> 00:22:19,936
And then yank it from his groin. And
then I want to bend him over...
375
00:22:20,187 --> 00:22:25,142
And insert aforementioned severed penis
right up his backside!
376
00:22:25,984 --> 00:22:29,434
I'll teach him never to lay
a finger on my angel.
377
00:22:29,531 --> 00:22:31,706
It certainly would, sir.
378
00:22:31,741 --> 00:22:34,392
Now if you don't mind, I have to attend to lady Ortensia.
379
00:22:34,427 --> 00:22:35,427
Of course.
380
00:22:52,564 --> 00:22:53,760
Here you go, mylady.
381
00:22:53,795 --> 00:22:56,926
Now don't forget to take
your pills at three am,
382
00:22:56,961 --> 00:22:59,055
five am and seven am.
383
00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:01,850
I've left them here with some water.
384
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:05,647
Good to see you are peeing regulary, mylady.
385
00:23:27,029 --> 00:23:29,924
- Have you seen Donald?
- Is he the one running around in S and M gear?
386
00:23:29,959 --> 00:23:32,336
Oh god, I do hope dad doesn't find him.
387
00:23:32,738 --> 00:23:34,614
He'll tear his penis off.
388
00:23:34,649 --> 00:23:35,881
I'm being serious!
389
00:23:35,916 --> 00:23:38,486
He did it to my first boyfriend, tore his penis right off.
390
00:23:38,521 --> 00:23:39,656
He's only thirteen.
391
00:23:44,781 --> 00:23:45,804
Sorry.
392
00:23:45,983 --> 00:23:47,283
I don't mind.
393
00:24:14,058 --> 00:24:16,208
Please don't hurt me.
394
00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:21,058
Please, I'll scream.
395
00:24:32,610 --> 00:24:33,610
Mylady.
396
00:24:35,164 --> 00:24:38,564
What is going on? Orty,
you're okay? What happened?
397
00:26:12,551 --> 00:26:14,218
There you are.
398
00:26:16,443 --> 00:26:19,292
I was right about you, wasn't I?
399
00:26:19,743 --> 00:26:21,568
What is going on?
400
00:26:21,603 --> 00:26:25,375
Penelope, shut your eyes at once,
I don't want you to see this filth.
401
00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:26,621
Donald!
402
00:26:28,353 --> 00:26:32,296
Have you got anything to do with this? Please angel, tell me you haven't.
403
00:26:34,254 --> 00:26:36,512
No... Of course not.
404
00:26:36,547 --> 00:26:38,992
Donald what are you doing? You're rotten in the head.
405
00:26:39,027 --> 00:26:42,243
I want you of my grounds this instant!
406
00:26:45,864 --> 00:26:48,014
How could you do this, Donald?
407
00:26:48,117 --> 00:26:50,324
Mylord, mylord.
408
00:26:50,587 --> 00:26:53,116
- I have some splendid news.
- What is it, Wellington?
409
00:26:53,151 --> 00:26:55,901
Auntie Ortensia finaly has spoken again.
410
00:26:56,502 --> 00:26:58,775
- What did she say?
- She said...
411
00:26:59,394 --> 00:27:01,544
He tried to penetrate her!
412
00:27:14,917 --> 00:27:17,386
And so I had to make my own way home.
413
00:27:18,213 --> 00:27:21,863
I had to keep telling myself that the only
reason Felicity didn't help me back there,
414
00:27:21,898 --> 00:27:25,065
was because she had no choice.
Her dad would of killed her!
415
00:27:25,100 --> 00:27:28,400
She was probably back at home,
worrying about me.
416
00:27:35,638 --> 00:27:37,262
It's chafing my balls.
417
00:27:38,107 --> 00:27:39,307
Get in the bed.
418
00:27:39,858 --> 00:27:40,858
Now!
419
00:27:40,908 --> 00:27:45,458
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