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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,400 ( match lights ) 2 00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:25,200 Max: THERE'S A WAR GOING ON EVERY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD. 3 00:00:25,200 --> 00:00:27,300 ( dance music playing ) 4 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:44,600 BOYS TRYING TO GET LAID. 5 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,600 AND GIRLS TRYING TO GET PAID. 6 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,000 ( cash register dings ) 7 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,000 NOW MOST BACHELOR PARTIES SUCK. 8 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,000 IT'S JUST A BUNCH OF DRUNKEN DUDES 9 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,300 HUDDLED AROUND A SKANKY STRIPPER. 10 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,000 BUT THIS ONE WAS THE SHIT... 11 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:30,600 AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY-- JOHNNY EYELASH. 12 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:31,600 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SARAH? 13 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:33,300 MY SHOE BROKE. 14 00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:34,600 SARAH, HOLD ON, LOOK. 15 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,800 THERE YOU GO. 16 00:01:35,800 --> 00:01:37,500 ( gasps ) YOU'RE THE BEST! 17 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:40,100 ( laughing ) 18 00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,800 ( men chattering ) 19 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,100 Max: THIS IS A STORY OF LOVE AND ROMANCE... 20 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:53,100 ( men yelling ) 21 00:02:01,500 --> 00:02:04,200 AND WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC THAN WHORES ON ALL FOURS 22 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:06,400 WITH STICKS POKING OUT OF THEIR ASSES? 23 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,500 ( cheering ) 24 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:11,800 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... 25 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:14,400 NOTHING! 26 00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,700 BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS. 27 00:02:16,700 --> 00:02:18,800 OH, NO. 28 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,300 COME ON, LET'S FUCK. 29 00:02:26,300 --> 00:02:30,500 UH, NO, I CAN'T. I GOTTA GET UP FOR WORK. 30 00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,100 BUT YOU'RE GONNA TAKE ME HOME, RIGHT? 31 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:35,800 UH, YEAH, YEAH. I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME. 32 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,100 YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS, ARE YOU? 33 00:02:38,100 --> 00:02:41,200 NO...AND YOU BETTER NOT TELL NOBODY, EITHER. 34 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:45,200 IT LOOK LIKE YOU WERE ABOUT TO TELL EVERY GODDAMN BODY. 35 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,800 Max: THERE'S A CERTAIN TYPE OF WOMAN IN L.A. 36 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:51,300 FROM HERE ON OUT, WE'LL CALL THEM "THE ENEMY." 37 00:02:51,300 --> 00:02:53,300 ACTUALLY, FAHID, THE LAW IS ON PAGE'S SIDE. 38 00:02:53,300 --> 00:02:56,500 THE INJURY WAS SUSTAINED AT WORK, THUS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. 39 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,900 SHE WAS DRUNK! SO WHAT? 40 00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:01,300 THERE ARE VERY SPECIFIC RULES. 41 00:03:01,300 --> 00:03:03,800 YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GET ANY GIRLS TO WORK HERE FOR MONTHS. 42 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:04,900 YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT. 43 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,800 I SAW YOU ALL OVER HIM! 44 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,800 IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD, THEN THIS IS THE FRONT LINE. 45 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,800 I WANT MY HAIR! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! 46 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,600 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS FIGHTING ABOUT? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS? 47 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,600 SHE WENT HOME WITH MY TUESDAY/THURSDAY, AND I REALLY LIKED HIM. 48 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,300 SHE WAS STILL FUCKING WORKING. YOU'RE FIGHTING OVER A CUSTOMER? 49 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,800 YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS REALLY ISN'T ANY OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT? 50 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,200 I KNOW, BUT CAN YOU TALK, PLEASE. 51 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,200 WHATEVER! UHH! 52 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,500 GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR! 53 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:35,600 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 54 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:38,700 I HAVEN'T CHECKED MY EMAIL IN WEEKS. 55 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,300 WHAT? 56 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:42,700 YOU HAVE AN EMAIL ACCOUNT? 57 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:44,600 OF COURSE I DO. 58 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,800 WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? 59 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,800 NOTHING. JUST... 60 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,400 YOU GIRLS ARE FIGHTING OVER A GUY WHO MOST LIKELY COULDN'T CARE LESS 61 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,900 ABOUT EITHER ONE OF YOU EXCEPT FOR TO STICK IT IN. SHE STARTED IT. 62 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:57,400 WHAT IS HIS NAME? SHAWN. 63 00:03:57,400 --> 00:03:59,800 LAST NAME? UM, I DON'T KNOW, 64 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,600 BUT I KNOW HE WORKS AT THE BEAUTY BAR. 65 00:04:04,500 --> 00:04:06,300 OH, LOOK. HERE WE GO. 66 00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:08,500 SHAWN, 6'1", SOUR MILK BREATH. 67 00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:10,700 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. THREE STARS IN BED? 68 00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:12,500 LIKE THE RESTAURANT SYSTEM? 69 00:04:12,500 --> 00:04:14,800 NO, SWEETIE, OUT OF TEN. YEAH. 70 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,200 OH, LOOK...HPV. 71 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,300 YEAH, THAT'S HIM. 72 00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,700 WHAT? ( mouths ) 73 00:04:18,700 --> 00:04:20,900 THAT MOTHERFUCKER. OOH, LET ME SEE. 74 00:04:20,900 --> 00:04:23,900 OH, MY GOD. HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS STUFF? 75 00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:26,600 WE WERE JUST SO OVER THE LYING, THE GAMES, THE CHEATING, 76 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,400 SO WE STARTED A GROUP WITH OUR FRIENDS TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER. 77 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,600 WOW. THIS THING IS AMAZING. 78 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:34,800 ( crying ) IT WAS... 79 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,800 IT WAS SIX YEARS, AND... 80 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,800 AND IT ENDED SO SUDDENLY. 81 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,700 YEAH, I KNOW, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. 82 00:04:40,700 --> 00:04:44,000 AND I THOUGHT THAT THIS WOULD HELP, BUT IT DOESN'T. 83 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,700 NO, I GET IT. I GET IT. 84 00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,400 I WAS WALKING HOME FROM THE BAR, 85 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:49,900 AND I SEE THIS CHICK SITTING AT THE BUS STOP. 86 00:04:49,900 --> 00:04:52,700 SHE WASN'T THE HOTTEST, BUT SHE WAS OK FOR THAT TIME OF NIGHT. 87 00:04:52,700 --> 00:04:55,300 ANYWAY, WE GET TO TALKING, AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, SHE'S COMING HOME WITH ME. 88 00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:57,300 I JUST GOT TO GET MY STUFF. 89 00:04:57,300 --> 00:05:01,700 THEN I SEE SHE'S GOT THIS BIG PLASTIC BAG WITH ALL HER STUFF IN IT. 90 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:05,500 SHE'S A VAGABOND. SHE'S PUTTING THE "HO" IN HOMELESS! 91 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:07,700 BUT I WAKE UP, AND SHE'S CHECKING HER EMAIL. 92 00:05:07,700 --> 00:05:09,500 I MEAN, THAT MAKES SENSE. 93 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,300 I MEAN, WHERE ELSE SHE GONNA CHECK HER EMAIL? 94 00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:12,700 SHE AIN'T GOT NO WIRELESS INTERNET IN THE BUSHES. 95 00:05:12,700 --> 00:05:15,600 WAIT. I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK. 96 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,700 OKAY. 97 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:18,300 ( grunts ) 98 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,700 ( panting ) 99 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,800 THAT IS OUR DATERBASE, 100 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,700 AND ANY TIME ONE OF US MEETS A GUY, 101 00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:25,500 WE PUT ALL HIS INFORMATION IN THERE. 102 00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:26,800 OKAY, BUT WHAT FOR? 103 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:27,900 WE USED TO BE JUST LIKE YOU TWO-- 104 00:05:27,900 --> 00:05:29,700 YOUNG AND INNOCENT. 105 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,800 RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE PREY FOR GUYS LIKE HIM. 106 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,000 HE DOESN'T CARE 'CAUSE THERE'S SO MANY GIRLS IN HOLLYWOOD, 107 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,400 THERE'S NO ACCOUNTABILITY. 108 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,700 BUT ORGANIZED AND TOGETHER, 109 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,700 IDIOTS LIKE HIM, THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 110 00:05:40,700 --> 00:05:43,400 SO IT'S LIKE A TRADE UNION FOR HOT CHICKS? 111 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:44,800 WE GOT A SMART ONE HERE, WENDY. 112 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,400 EXACTLY. GIVE IT A TRY. 113 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,300 GO OUT THERE RIGHT NOW AND DO A DOUBLE ACT. 114 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,000 SEE WHAT HAPPENS. OH, I DON'T KNOW. 115 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:52,000 GO AHEAD, GO. 116 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,800 WHAT ABOUT YOU, BRO? WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT CHICK? DUDE, SHE WAS FINE. 117 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,600 OHH. YEAH, MAN, I WAS OUTSIDE WITH HER AND HER FRIEND, RIGHT? 118 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,000 OH, NO, THE BUSTED ONE? 119 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,900 YEAH, YEAH, THE BUSTED ONE. 120 00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:05,300 AND, UM, YOU KNOW, SHE WAS GETTING A TEXT FROM SOME DUDE, 121 00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:06,800 AND THEN SHE JUST BROKE OUT, 122 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,900 AND I WAS THERE WITH THE FRIEND, 123 00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,600 AND SHE SAID SHE LIVED AROUND THE CORNER, AND I WAS... 124 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,900 REALLY? 125 00:06:11,900 --> 00:06:13,800 YEAH, MAN, I WAS TORE UP DRUNK, MAN. 126 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,600 I SAID FUCK IT. 127 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:19,600 YEAH, MAN, I MEAN, SHE DID HAVE NICE TITS, THOUGH. 128 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,400 BRO, WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER. 129 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:23,900 ( belches ) 130 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,700 HEY, BRO, WHEN YOU TAKE THINGIE HOME, 131 00:06:25,700 --> 00:06:27,800 CAN YOU TAKE THIS ONE HOME, TOO? MAYBE HIT A DRIVE-THRU. 132 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:30,400 OH, YEAH, MAN, I GOT YOU, BUT WE LEAVING NOW. 133 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:31,600 OH, HEY, NICE TO MEET YOU. 134 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,300 HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT OKAY. 135 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:35,500 HEY. HI. 136 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,600 YEAH, MAN, I GOTTA TAKE THESE HOS HOME, MAN. 137 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:40,900 AW, SHIT! THAT'S MY NEIGHBOR, JOHNNY EYELASH, 138 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:43,100 COMING HOME WITH TWO BOMB CHICKS RIGHT NOW. 139 00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:46,000 HE GOT MORE GAME THAN A PHEASANT HUNT. LET'S GO. 140 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,900 HE GONNA CLOWN ME WHEN HE SEES ME WITH THESE GIRLS. 141 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,900 COOL OUT. SQUEEZE THAT. WE GONNA GO IN A SECOND. 142 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,700 YOU'VE SEEN THE ASS, NOW FLASH THE CASH. 143 00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,500 FOUR TITTIES AND THE PRICE OF ONE. 144 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:05,000 DIG DEEP, GENTLEMEN, DIG REAL DEEP. 145 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,700 ? 146 00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,800 ? CAN YOU DO IT? 147 00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,400 ? DO IT 148 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:21,700 ? CAN YOU DO IT? 149 00:07:21,700 --> 00:07:22,900 ? DO IT 150 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,800 ? CAN YOU DO IT? 151 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,400 ? I, I DON'T THINK YOU CAN 152 00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:34,900 YOU WERE LATE FOR WORK A MINUTE AGO. YEAH. 153 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:36,600 WHAT'S ALL THIS CLOWNING BUSINESS? 154 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,000 HEY, MAN, I'M GONNA CALL YOU BACK, MAN. 155 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,600 IS THIS YOUR HOUSE OR YOUR PARENTS' HOUSE? 156 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,400 WE CAN ALL LEAVE NOW, 157 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,900 OR I CAN PULL THE FUCKING FIRE ALARM ON MY WAY OUT. 158 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,700 ALL RIGHT, FINE. WOULD YOU ALL CHILL OUT? 159 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,900 RELAX, MAN. YOU ALL AIN'T GOT NOWHERE TO BE? 160 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,500 ( screaming ) 161 00:07:51,500 --> 00:07:53,800 OH, MY GOD! WE GOT TWENTIES! 162 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,900 I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB. I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CLUB. 163 00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:57,400 ME TOO! WHAT'S IT CALLED? 164 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,600 THE NAME IS T.O.B. T.O.B.? 165 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,100 JUST COME ON SATURDAY, AND YOU'LL SEE. 166 00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:02,800 OKAY. 167 00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:04,900 WHERE'S YOUR CRAP CAR? MY HEAD HURTS. 168 00:08:04,900 --> 00:08:06,200 I'M REALLY HUNGRY. 169 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:07,600 DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN? 170 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:09,600 MY MOUTH TASTES LIKE ASS. 171 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,900 I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY. 172 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:14,700 JUST GIVE YOUR APPLE, TELL HER SHE'S PRETTY, YOU'LL BE FINE. 173 00:08:14,700 --> 00:08:16,700 WHOA, THOSE CHICKS ARE BUSTED. 174 00:08:16,700 --> 00:08:20,200 GIVES A WHOLE NEW MEANING TO THE PHRASE "WALK OF SHAME," HUH? 175 00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:23,500 HEY, LADIES. YEAH. 176 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,100 MAX. WHAT'S UP, MAN? 177 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,800 GOT YOUR HANDS FULL, HUH, LOVERBOY? 178 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,000 YEAH. HEY, LATER, MAN. 179 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,700 HERE, UH, THIS GET YOU, UM, WHEREVER YOU'RE GOING. 180 00:08:33,700 --> 00:08:36,600 FIVE BUCKS? REALLY? 181 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:39,600 YEAH. UH, OKAY. HOW ABOUT THIS? HERE. 182 00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:43,100 VIENNA SAUSAGES? REALLY? 183 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,700 UM, YEAH. THEY'RE NON-PERISHABLE. 184 00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,600 NO, NO, I JUST MEAN-- 185 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:48,700 FUCK YOU! 186 00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,500 ALL RIGHT. UH, EMAIL ME. 187 00:08:50,500 --> 00:08:51,600 ( door slams ) 188 00:08:58,700 --> 00:08:59,700 ( horn honks ) 189 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:05,500 WHOO! 190 00:09:22,700 --> 00:09:25,000 ( indistinct singing ) 191 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,300 FUCK YOU GUYS! 192 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,800 ASSHOLES! 193 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,600 WHAT THE FUCK'S UP WITH YOU HAIR TODAY? 194 00:09:57,600 --> 00:09:59,600 WHY YOU ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT MY SHIT, MAN? JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED EARLIER. 195 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,300 OH, ANYWAY, SO, THESE TWO CHICKS COME IN, RIGHT? 196 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,300 FUCKIN' SMOKIN'. BIG FAKE TITS, YOU KNOW. 197 00:10:03,300 --> 00:10:08,000 AND, UH, YOU KNOW, I'M BUSY, BUT... HOW CAN I RESIST? 198 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,200 BUT AS SOON AS THEY LEFT, I GET THIS FEELING I'VE BEEN CHUMPED. 199 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,300 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO PUT ONE OVER ON ME. 200 00:10:14,300 --> 00:10:16,600 LIKE THEY'RE NOT REALLY INTO ME, LIKE THEY'RE PRETENDING. 201 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:18,900 YEAH. 202 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:20,600 SO, LATER, I'M PRINTING UP THE T-SHIRTS, 203 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:21,800 IT ALL STARTS TO MAKE SENSE. 204 00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:23,300 "WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF-EVIDENT 205 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:26,100 THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED ASSHOLES"? 206 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:27,800 I MEAN, IT'S LIKE THEY CAN SEE RIGHT THROUGH US. 207 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,200 NOW THEY HAVE WHAT? MAN-HATING CLUBS? 208 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:30,700 OH, MY GOD! 209 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,300 OH, GEE! 210 00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,300 JESUS, WATCH WHERE THE FUCK YOU'RE GOING! 211 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,200 MAN, I'M SO SORRY, BROTHER. ARE YOU OKAY, MAN? 212 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,900 NO, I'M NOT OKAY. 213 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:39,900 ( sniffs ) SMELLS DANK IN THERE, MAN. 214 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,600 I GOT YOU. 215 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,700 WE COOL? WHAT IS THIS, A FUCKING BAG OF WEED? ARE YOU KIDDING? 216 00:10:47,700 --> 00:10:49,600 HOW ABOUT YOU CALL AN AMBULANCE? NO NEED TO CONCERN THE AUTHORITIES. 217 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:51,300 THAT'S NEARLY HALF AN OUNCE. 218 00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:53,000 COME ON, MAN, WHAT CAN I DO? LET'S MAKE THIS RIGHT. 219 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,900 HOW ABOUT YOU LET HER COME RUB IT BETTER? 220 00:10:54,900 --> 00:10:56,100 DO ME A FAVOR... 221 00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:57,900 DUDE, HE IS ALWAYS WITH THE BOMB CHICKS. 222 00:10:57,900 --> 00:11:00,100 MAYBE WE CAN GET HIM TO INTRODUCE US TO SOME. 223 00:11:00,100 --> 00:11:02,600 SHIT, OR MAYBE SHOW US EVEN HOW HE GET SOME OF THOSE CHICKS. 224 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,900 YEAH, I'M DOWN. 225 00:11:03,900 --> 00:11:05,900 AAH. 226 00:11:05,900 --> 00:11:07,200 WHERE DOES IT HURT? 227 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,700 IT'S RIGHT OVER HERE. YEAH. 228 00:11:08,700 --> 00:11:11,100 UH, HEY, MAN, I KNOW HOW YOU CAN HELP US OUT. 229 00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,900 ALL RIGHT, NAME IT. 230 00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:16,000 WHY DON'T YOU TEACH US HOW TO GET WITH CHICKS LIKE THAT? 231 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:17,800 SERIOUSLY? YEAH. 232 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,700 ALL RIGHT. 233 00:11:19,700 --> 00:11:21,700 WHY DON'T YOU GUYS COME BY LATER, AND WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT. 234 00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,300 Max: AND JUST LIKE THAT, 235 00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,800 JOHNNY EYELASH AGREED TO BE OUR DRILL INSTRUCTOR. 236 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,700 COME ON, BABY. WHICH IS GOOD... 237 00:11:27,700 --> 00:11:29,100 MAN, YOUR ASS AIN'T EVEN HURT, MAN. 238 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,400 ...BECAUSE ACROSS TOWN... 239 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,000 I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FEMALES 240 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,300 OF THE T.O.B. OF AMERICA 241 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:38,900 AND TO THE METHODS BY WHICH IT STANDS, 242 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:42,000 WITH MANIPULATION, WITH HOT BODS, 243 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,700 IRRESISTIBLE, 244 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:46,400 WITH LUXURY FOR JUST US, 245 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,100 THAT'S ALL! 246 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,200 ( cheering ) 247 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:55,300 OKAY, FIRST, WELCOME, EVERYONE, 248 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,900 AND A SPECIAL HELLO TO OUR NEW PROSPECTS, 249 00:11:57,900 --> 00:12:01,200 YVONNE AND COURTNEY. Women: HI. 250 00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:04,100 WE REALLY HOPE THAT YOU'RE GONNA LIKE WHAT WE'RE ABOUT. 251 00:12:04,100 --> 00:12:08,400 AND A BIG KISS TO LYRIC, WHO, AS OF LAST WEEK, 252 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,000 IS A FULL TASSEL SISTER. 253 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,400 ( cheering ) 254 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,100 YEAH! 255 00:12:15,100 --> 00:12:17,200 SO, WHAT? YOU GUYS CAN'T GET GIRLFRIENDS? 256 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,000 WE DON'T WANT GIRLFRIENDS. WE WANT TO BANG HOT CHICKS LIKE YOU. 257 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,300 ALL RIGHT, I'M LISTENIN'. 258 00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:23,300 AND PLUS, MAN, WE MADE A PACT IN HIGH SCHOOL. 259 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:24,800 YEAH, WHEN WE WERE 15. 260 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,100 OH, OHH, MY GOD. HO. 261 00:12:29,100 --> 00:12:32,200 MAN, WHEN WE GET OLDER, WE GONNA BANG CHICKS LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME. 262 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,300 DEFINITELY. OH. 263 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:39,400 I MEAN, WE DO OKAY WITH THE AVERAGE CHICKS, 264 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,900 BUT THOSE, LIKE, SUPER-DUPER BOMB HOLLYWOOD CHICKS, MAN... 265 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:44,300 MAN, THEY DON'T EVEN FUCK WITH US. 266 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,300 YEAH, THEY IGNORE US, MAN. 267 00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,800 OR MAKE JOKES. 268 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,100 AND IT'S NOT GETTING ANY EASIER, MAN. 269 00:12:48,100 --> 00:12:49,400 TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. 270 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,700 T.O.B. CLUB. 271 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,000 I'VE HEARD ABOUT THIS. 272 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,700 SEE, WOMEN ARE NATURALLY MORE DEVIOUS, 273 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:02,800 BUT IT'S THAT BITCHINESS THAT USUALLY DIVIDES THEM 274 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,000 AND GIVES US GUY AN ANGLE. 275 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,400 DUDE, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE TITS 276 00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,300 ON THE GIRLS THAT LEFT THAT WITH ME. 277 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:09,200 NOW THEY'RE GETTING ORGANIZED. 278 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,000 THIS DOESN'T BODE WELL. 279 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,200 REGULAR GUYS LIKE YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE. 280 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,800 THAT'S WHY WE NEED YOUR HELP. 281 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:16,200 DUDE, COME ON, JUST PASS ON YOUR WISDOM. 282 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,400 YOU GOTTA HELP US OUT, MAN. 283 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,700 WHAT THE FUCK DOES "BODE" MEAN? 284 00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:20,200 LOOK AT THESE FREAKS, COME ON. 285 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,400 ALL RIGHT, BOYS, RELAX, JESUS. 286 00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,300 ALL RIGHT, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING 287 00:13:26,300 --> 00:13:29,400 ABOUT THESE HOT CHICKS YOU'RE SO SCARED OF. 288 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,200 ALL RIGHT, BOYS. 289 00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:41,500 YOUR AVERAGE HOLLYWOOD BABE. 290 00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,800 NICE, RIGHT? 291 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,200 YOU TAKE AWAY THE HAIR... 292 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,400 THE IMPLANTS... 293 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,200 THE LIPO... 294 00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,000 THE STRAPPY SHOES, CUTE LITTLE DRESS, 295 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:58,200 OH, AND THE MAKEUP... 296 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,500 AND THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE LEFT WITH. 297 00:14:00,500 --> 00:14:02,200 NOT PARTICULARLY ATTRACTIVE. 298 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:05,300 NOT THAT SMART, NOT THAT INTERESTING-- 299 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:07,400 BASICALLY SOMEONE IN YOUR OWN LEAGUE. 300 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,000 THAT'S THE WAY YOU GOTTA THINK ABOUT 'EM, GUYS. 301 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,400 I SWEAR TO GOD, BEFORE LONG, 302 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,200 YOU'LL BE A GODDAMN HUMAN SHISH KABOB. 303 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,000 DUDE, THAT'S HARSH. 304 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,100 I SWEAR, IT'S AS IF YOU HATE THEM. 305 00:14:17,100 --> 00:14:19,400 MAN, I DON'T HATE 'EM... 306 00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:22,200 ANY MORE THAN A LION HATES A GAZELLE. 307 00:14:24,900 --> 00:14:26,200 BUT I HAD MY HEART BROKEN ONCE... 308 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,300 COME ON, WEN, PLEASE! 309 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,300 IT'S OVER. 310 00:14:28,300 --> 00:14:30,000 SMASHED INTO LITTLE PIECES. 311 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,400 WE CAN MAKE THIS WORK. 312 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,800 ALL I NEED IS A CHANCE. DON'T DO THIS. 313 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,500 BUT I PULLED MYSELF TOGETHER. 314 00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,000 AND NOW, I JUST DON'T GIVE A SHIT. 315 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,900 COME ON, DON'T GO, MAN. 316 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:42,400 I LOVE YOU, WENDY. 317 00:14:42,400 --> 00:14:45,400 OKAY, COOL. WHY DO YOU HAVE A LITTLE GIRL'S DOLL? 318 00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,900 WHO THE FUCK CARES? 319 00:14:46,900 --> 00:14:48,200 WILL YOU PLEASE HELP US? 320 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,400 HEY, LOOK, I'LL HELP YOU GUYS, 321 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,900 BUT YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY 322 00:14:51,900 --> 00:14:53,500 EXACTLY WHEN I TELL YOU TO DO IT, 323 00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,900 NO QUESTIONS ASKED, OR I'M OUT. 324 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,200 ALL RIGHT, COME BACK NEXT WEEK AND BRING YOUR LAPTOPS. 325 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,200 OH, WAIT, I DON'T GOT A LAPTOP, MAN. 326 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,200 I STILL GOT THAT DIALUP SHIT, THAT... ( imitates dialup ) 327 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,100 JESUS, CHRIST, YOU GOT A LAPTOP? YES. 328 00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:06,000 YOU GOT A LAPTOP? YEAH, IT'S REALLY NICE. 329 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000 ALL RIGHT, WELL, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 330 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,300 SO I CAN SHARE OF YOURS, HUH? 331 00:15:08,300 --> 00:15:09,600 NO, SHARE OFF HIS, DUDE, I GOT A DELL. 332 00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:11,100 GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! 333 00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,500 SO, TO BUSINESS... 334 00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:14,500 GRETCHEN, HOW'S YOUR REFINANCE GOING? 335 00:15:14,500 --> 00:15:16,400 OKAY, WELL, THE GUY CAME OVER THE OTHER DAY 336 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,500 AND TOOK ME TO LUNCH, BUT WE GOT A LITTLE TOO DRUNK. 337 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,600 WE DIDN'T FINISH THE PAPERWORK. 338 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,200 Women: GRETCHEN! 339 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,900 I KNOW, BUT DON'T WORRY. I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING. 340 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,300 OKAY, LADIES, NOT THIS DATERBASE ONLY WORKS 341 00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:27,900 IF WE KEEP IT UPDATED. 342 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,600 SO DID ANYBODY HAVE A DATE THIS WEEK? 343 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:30,900 I MET A GUY. 344 00:15:30,900 --> 00:15:33,100 WHAT WAS HIS NAME? ADEN. 345 00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,900 ISN'T THAT YOUR OTHER BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND? 346 00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,400 YEAH, HE HIT ON ME YESTERDAY 347 00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:38,600 JUST 'CAUSE I WAS SUNBATHING TOPLESS BY HIS POOL. 348 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,400 UHH, SUCH A PIG. I KNOW. 349 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,200 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE WILL USE THAT AGAINST HIM. 350 00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:45,500 ANYONE ELSE? YES, CHANEL? 351 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:48,300 THERE IS A BIG, HUGE HAIR SPIDER. 352 00:15:48,300 --> 00:15:52,300 IT CRAWLED INTO MY CLOSET, AND I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO FIND IT. 353 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,900 I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO GO INTO MY CLOSET FOR, LIKE, A WEEK. 354 00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:58,600 I'VE BEEN BUYING ALL OF MY CLOTHES BRAND-NEW BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF IT. 355 00:15:58,600 --> 00:15:59,900 THAT'S EASY, I'LL SEND ONCH. 356 00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,300 ONCH! 357 00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:03,100 YES, WENDY? 358 00:16:03,100 --> 00:16:04,600 GO! NOW? 359 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,200 NO. TOMORROW. GO. 360 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,300 HOW ABOUT OUR NEW GIRLS? ANYTHING YOU GIRLS NEED? 361 00:16:09,300 --> 00:16:10,400 LIKE WHAT? 362 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,000 ANYTHING? 363 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:15,100 UM, OKAY, WELL, MY SHOWER KEEPS DRIPPING, 364 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,600 AND IT'S KIND OF GROWING MOLD IN THERE. 365 00:16:16,700 --> 00:16:18,500 I MEAN, I CLEAN IT, BUT-- 366 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:19,700 I'LL SEND ONCH OVER. 367 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,100 HOW MUCH IS THAT GONNA COST? 368 00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:24,000 SWEETIE, WE JUST SAY "OUR HOT GIRLFRIEND" 369 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000 AND "SHOWER" IN THE SAME SENTENCE. 370 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,100 COOL, THANK YOU. 371 00:16:28,100 --> 00:16:29,100 AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, YVONNE? 372 00:16:29,100 --> 00:16:31,400 I'M COOL. 373 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,400 REALLY? 374 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,000 I THINK SO. 375 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,500 I MEAN, THIS ALL SEEMS A BIT COLD-HEARTED. 376 00:16:36,500 --> 00:16:39,300 YOU LIKE TO FUCK AND PARTY, DON'T YOU? 377 00:16:39,300 --> 00:16:41,600 YEAH! A LOT. 378 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,600 ( laughter ) 379 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,100 THOSE ARE MARKETABLE SKILLS. 380 00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:47,100 AND COMPLETELY TAX-FREE, SWEETIE. 381 00:16:47,100 --> 00:16:50,100 I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT LIKE THAT. 382 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,200 I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. 383 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:57,300 THANKS, JOHNNY. BYE, SARAH. 384 00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:58,500 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK, ALL RIGHT. 385 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:01,200 DUDE, YOU ARE LIKE THE KING. 386 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,200 IT'S JUST WORK. 387 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:03,300 WORK? WHAT DO YOU DO? 388 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:04,600 I'M IN PHARMACEUTICAL SALES. 389 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,700 YOU A DRUG DEALER? NO, I'M A SALES REP, 390 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:09,100 FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS, KELOCOTE. 391 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:11,400 IT'S AN OINTMENT THAT WOMEN USE AFTER THEY GET BOOB JOBS. 392 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,100 IT HEALS THE SCAR TISSUE. 393 00:17:13,100 --> 00:17:15,300 WAIT A MINUTE, YOU GET PAID TO RUB CREAM 394 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,600 ON WOMEN'S TITTIES, YO? 395 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:19,200 YEAH. I REALLY AM A BOOB INSPECTOR. 396 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:20,700 OH, MY GOD. 397 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,300 COME ON IN, GUYS. DAMN. 398 00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:24,800 WHAT KIND OF BENEFITS A JOB LIKE THAT GOT? 399 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,600 THAT'S TIGHT. HA. 400 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:35,000 AH, MAN, FLING, MAN, THEY GOT SOME SWEET PUSSY ON HERE. 401 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,500 YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT THE DEAL. 402 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:39,200 WE COULD HAVE DONE THIS OURSELVES. 403 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,200 NO, DUMBSHIT. THESE ONLINE DATING SITES 404 00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,600 ARE A GREAT WAY TO LEARN ABOUT WOMEN 405 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,700 AND THE GAMES THEY PLAY. 406 00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:45,800 ( water splashing ) 407 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,600 ( whistling ) 408 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:02,300 HEY, GIRLS. LOOK WHAT I GOT. 409 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,400 YAY, DRINKS! 410 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,200 OHH! 411 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,800 PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! 412 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,600 I HATE TAN LINES! IT'S TOO NICE OUT HERE! 413 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:15,500 "DOGS ARE CONTROLLED BY THEIR BASEST MOTIVES. 414 00:18:15,500 --> 00:18:18,100 EAT, SLEEP, AND COPULATE." 415 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:19,600 DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR? 416 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,400 THEY EVEN CALL THEMSELVES DOGS. 417 00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,800 IT'S SO PATHETIC. 418 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:25,200 THEY WOULD SPEND THEIR WHOLE LIFE-- 419 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,300 CAR, JOB, AND BEING-- 420 00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:29,400 JUST TRYING TO SQUIRT. 421 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,500 ( laughing ) 422 00:18:33,500 --> 00:18:35,100 YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THIS SHIT. 423 00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:38,300 "I LIKE CUDDLING, SOFT KISSES, ANIMALS, 424 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:41,500 "WALKS ON THE BEACH, DINING, A NICE MAN, 425 00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,700 SINCERE, KIND"? 426 00:18:43,700 --> 00:18:45,300 THIS SHIT MAKES ME SICK. 427 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:47,300 WHY? SOME OF THAT STUFF IS CUTE. 428 00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,500 OKAY, WINETASTING. 429 00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,400 THAT MEANS SHE LIKES TO GET FUCKED UP. 430 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:55,300 DINING. THAT MEANS YOU TAKE HER OUT TO DINNER. 431 00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,100 WHAT, VACATIONS? 432 00:18:57,100 --> 00:18:59,600 YOU THINK SHE'S PAYING FOR THESE VACATIONS? 433 00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,500 DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER 434 00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,600 AND YOU THOUGHT THAT IF YOU WERE REALLY NICE TO A GUY 435 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,200 HE'D BE REALLY NICE BACK? 436 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:08,600 YES. OH, MY GOD, I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM. 437 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,100 I MEAN, I REALLY TREATED HIM WELL. 438 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,400 HOW'D THAT WORK OUT FOR YOU? 439 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,400 HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER. AND MY BEST FRIEND. 440 00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:16,600 HEY, DUDE, CHECK OUT THE FRIEND. 441 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:17,600 YEAH, DUDE, SHE'S FINE. 442 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,200 Max: YEAH, SHE IS BOMB. 443 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,900 BUT TAKE A CLOSE LOOK AT ALL THESE PHOTOS. 444 00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:22,300 DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING? 445 00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:23,600 A LOT OF THEM AREN'T FULL BODY SHOTS. 446 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,100 RIGHT. 447 00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:27,200 THEY'RE TAKEN FROM HIGH ANGLES, TOO. 448 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,200 YEAH, LOTS OF THEM ARE WEARING BABY DOLL DRESSES. 449 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,400 YEAH, LOOK AT THAT. 450 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,200 WHY DO WOMEN WEAR BABY DOLL DRESSES? 451 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:34,500 BECAUSE IT HIDES THEIR FAT ASSES. 452 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:36,200 SEE, ALL THESE PICTURES, 453 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:37,500 THEY'RE ALL TRYING TO TRICK YOU IN SOME WAY. 454 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,900 THE PERSONAL AD IS A GREAT WAY 455 00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:40,600 TO UNDERSTAND THE TRUE NATURE OF WOMEN. 456 00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,200 YOU'RE BEGINNING TO GET AN IDEA 457 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,500 OF HOW DECEITFUL THE AVERAGE GIRL IS. 458 00:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,800 WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE AVERAGE GIRLS. 459 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,900 I WANT YOU TO SEPARATE OUT ALL THE HOTTIES, 460 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:52,600 AND THAT'S WHO WE NEED TO FOCUS ON. 461 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,800 THE TRICK IS TO GET THEM ALL EXCITED, 462 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,700 BUT IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN, 463 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,400 LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE. 464 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,500 REALLY? OH, YEAH. 465 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:03,300 OKAY, THE NEXT TIME YOU BRING A GUY HOME, 466 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,800 I WANT YOU TO GET OFF FOR HIM. 467 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,200 I MEAN, MAKE A HUGE SHOW. PORN-STYLE. 468 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,500 OHH! YEAH! 469 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,400 SEXY! 470 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,500 THAT'S IT! 471 00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,800 THANK YOU. 472 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:17,700 AND THEN HE'LL BE SO EXCITED. 473 00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,200 OHH, OHH! 474 00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,500 BUT DON'T LET HIM PUT IT IN. 475 00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,500 AND THEN WHEN YOU'RE DONE, 476 00:20:22,500 --> 00:20:23,700 LEAVE WITHOUT GIVING YOUR NUMBER. 477 00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,600 THAT WORKS? OF COURSE. 478 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,600 THE REJECTION PLAYS ON THEIR INSECURITIES, 479 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,200 AND WE ALL KNOW THAT ALL MEN REALLY CARE ABOUT IS TITS AND ASS. 480 00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:35,800 THANK YOU. HA HA HA! 481 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,600 THEY WOULD SIT AROUND OGLING US ALL DAY LONG IF THEY COULD. 482 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:41,800 ( laughter ) 483 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,800 OH, MAN, SHE WAS MADE TO GET LAID. 484 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,600 YOU GUYS CHECK THIS OUT, 27 LEVELS OF COMPATIBILITY. 485 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:48,300 IS HER ASS COMPATIBLE WITH MY DICK? 486 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:49,700 AND WHAT THE FUCK IS A CUPID SCORE, MAN? 487 00:20:49,700 --> 00:20:51,400 JUST SHOW ME YOUR TITTIES. 488 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,800 RIGHT. THAT'S WHAT MEN ARE DESIGNED TO DO. 489 00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:56,300 GET WITH ATTRACTIVE WOMEN. 490 00:20:56,300 --> 00:20:58,700 NOW, LOOK AT WHAT THEY SAY, FIRST, "NO PLAYERS. 491 00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:01,200 IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A HOOKUP, THEN MOVE ON, MISTER." 492 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:02,400 THEN WHY THE FUCK IS SHE STANDING 493 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,900 IN FRONT OF A FERRARI WITH HER TITS OUT? 494 00:21:03,900 --> 00:21:05,800 RIGHT. IT'S TO GET YOU ALL RILED UP. 495 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,900 AND CHECK IT, "I'M LOOKING FOR A GUY 496 00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:10,500 "WHO'S KIND AND LOYAL AND SPIRITUAL 497 00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:13,400 AND CARING AND AMBITIOUS." 498 00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:16,700 AMBITIOUS? DOESN'T REALLY FIT, RIGHT? 499 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,000 THE ONE COMMON WORD IN ALL THE HOTTIES. 500 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,000 YOU KNOW, "GENEROUS" SEEMS TO CROP UP THE MOST. 501 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,700 YEAH, I'M GETTIN' "GENEROUS" A BUNCH, TOO. 502 00:21:22,700 --> 00:21:24,500 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE RIGHT THERE. RIGHT, RIGHT. 503 00:21:24,500 --> 00:21:27,300 BUT YOU CAN'T BE GENEROUS IF YOU DON'T HAVE CASH. 504 00:21:27,300 --> 00:21:30,500 YOU KNOW, THE WOMEN WE'RE AFTER ARE MONEY-GRUBBING HOS. 505 00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,900 GODDAMN RIGHT. 506 00:21:31,900 --> 00:21:33,700 WE KNOW FROM CAVEMAN TIMES 507 00:21:33,700 --> 00:21:35,900 THAT A MAN IS GENETICALLY PREDISPOSED 508 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:39,300 TO BE FAITHFUL FOR A MAXIMUM OF THREE YEARS 509 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:42,400 BECAUSE THAT'S HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR AN INFANT TO LEARN HOW TO WALK. 510 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,700 THEN THEY LEAVE THE CAVE AND THE MOTHER 511 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:46,800 TO GO SPREAD THEIR SEED FAR AND WIDE. 512 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:48,600 IT'S JUST HUMAN NATURE, 513 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,700 SO FORGET ABOUT THAT FAIRY TALE, GROWING OLD TOGETHER... 514 00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:53,900 I LOVE FAIRY TALES. 515 00:21:55,300 --> 00:21:57,400 LOOK, WE DON'T HAVE SEEDS TO SPREAD, 516 00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,500 BUT WE DO HAVE LEGS. 517 00:21:59,500 --> 00:22:01,900 YEAH, WE DO! 518 00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:05,700 EXACTLY. I MEAN, YOU GUYS ARE ALL COOL AND HIPSTER LOOKING. 519 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,600 WHAT, ARE YOU IN A BAND? YEAH, WE GOT BEATS. 520 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:11,400 YEAH, LIKE CREEPY BEATS. YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF LIKE A GOTH VIBE 521 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,800 WITH, YOU KNOW, HIP-HOP. 522 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:15,800 YEAH, LIKE BAUHAUS MEETS BOWWOW, 523 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:18,400 BUT LIKE MORE PALE. ALL RIGHT, GREAT. 524 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,800 WITH A HINT OF C&C MUSIC FACTORY. 525 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,500 UNLESS YOU'RE FREDDY FUCKING MERCURY, 526 00:22:22,500 --> 00:22:24,900 ALL THAT CONVENTIONAL WISDOM ABOUT BEING IN THE BAND 527 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,900 GETTING YOU LAID DOESN'T APPLY WITH THESE CHICKS. 528 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:29,100 MAN, THESE CHICKS WERE GETTING DICKED OVER BY BAND DUDES 529 00:22:29,100 --> 00:22:31,800 WHEN YOU WERE STILL POPPING ZITS ON YOUR HISTORY HOMEWORK. 530 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:32,800 THAT'S YOU, BUDDY! 531 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:34,100 AND THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT 532 00:22:34,100 --> 00:22:36,400 ABOUT YOUR "GIG" AND YOUR CREEPY BEATS. 533 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,300 SO, LOOK, GO GET YOUR HAIR CUT, 534 00:22:38,300 --> 00:22:40,900 GO SEE MY TAILOR-- HE'LL GET GUYS ALL SORTED OUT-- 535 00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:42,000 AND WE'LL GET STARTED. 536 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,100 I'M SORRY. WAIT. TAILOR? 537 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:44,400 IS THIS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE? 538 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:45,500 YEAH, IT'S GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE! 539 00:22:45,500 --> 00:22:47,100 THAT'S KIND OF THE POINT. 540 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:49,800 AND THIS THRIFT-STORE SHIT AND THESE IRONIC T-SHIRTS-- 541 00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:51,600 IT'S JUST NOT GONNA CUT IT. 542 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,600 AND WHAT'S WITH THOSE GLASSES-- DO YOU EVEN NEED THOSE GLASSES? 543 00:22:53,600 --> 00:22:56,300 NO, THEY'RE NOT FOR SEEING. IT'S FOR THE LOOK. 544 00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:57,700 YEAH, WELL, THEY'RE STUPID. 545 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,700 AND TAKE OUT THAT FUCKING NOSE RING. 546 00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:01,600 JESUS, YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT. 547 00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,600 AND BY GIVING A LITTLE BIT TO A FEW DIFFERENT GUYS, 548 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,400 IF IT'S DONE WITH CLASS, 549 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,000 A WOMAN CAN EASILY SUPPORT HERSELF. 550 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,800 AND THE RICHER THE GUY, THE BIGGER THE PAYOFF. 551 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:13,700 I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT. 552 00:23:13,700 --> 00:23:15,000 YOU SAID IT. 553 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:18,100 OKAY, I AM SO IN. WHERE DO WE MEET THESE GUYS? 554 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:20,000 ELLE, GRETCHEN, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE NEW GIRLS OUT 555 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:21,300 AND SHOW THEM HOW IT'S DONE? 556 00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:22,400 YEAH! 557 00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:23,500 OH, MY GOSH, WE HAVE SO MUCH FUN. 558 00:23:23,500 --> 00:23:24,700 ( cheering ) 559 00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,800 I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH. 560 00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,100 YOU GOT A CREDIT CARD, DON'T YOU? 561 00:23:30,100 --> 00:23:32,600 YEAH. MY MOM'S. WELL, CHARGE IT. 562 00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,800 LOOK, YOU GOTTA AT LEAST LOOK LIKE YOU COULD THROW DOWN SOME CASH, ALL RIGHT? 563 00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,500 BUT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAVE UP, MAN. 564 00:23:36,500 --> 00:23:38,000 I'M PAYING OFF MY STUDENT LOANS. 565 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,700 LOOK, DINGLEBERRY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE RICH. 566 00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:41,500 YOU JUST HAVE TO LOOK RICH. 567 00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,600 LOOK, MAN, I THOUGHT YOU WAS JUST GONNA GIVE US SOME TIPS, 568 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:46,400 WE SPEND ALL THIS MONEY... NIGGA, I'M BROKE. 569 00:23:46,400 --> 00:23:48,600 ARE YOU OKAY, YVONNE? 570 00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:53,400 IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN HELP YOU WITH? 571 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:54,600 NOT REALLY. 572 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,000 ANYTHING YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH? 573 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,400 ANYTHING YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOUR BODY? 574 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,600 NO. WHY? 575 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,800 YOU'D BE SO MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE IF YOU JUST GOT SOME BOOBS. 576 00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:06,700 I LIKE MY BOOBS! 577 00:24:06,700 --> 00:24:09,900 I KNOW, DEAR, BUT THEY'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE. 578 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,700 LOCK IT IN. YOU GOT IT LOCKED IN, NOW PUT SOME PRESSURE ON IT. 579 00:24:14,700 --> 00:24:16,000 ( choking ) 580 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:17,900 YOU WANNA CUT OFF CIRCULATION TO HIS BRAIN. 581 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:19,900 THAT'S GOOD. BONES, GOOD JOB. 582 00:24:19,900 --> 00:24:21,100 THANKS. THANKS A LOT, JOHNNY. 583 00:24:21,100 --> 00:24:23,000 THANKS, JOHNNY. YEAH, NO PROBLEM, GUYS. 584 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,800 HEY, NICE SHOES, GUY TOWN. VERY PRETTY. 585 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:27,700 FAGGOTS. COME ON, MAN. 586 00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:29,400 IS THIS THE ONLY REASON YOU CALLED US DOWN HERE WAS TO MAKE FUN OF US? 587 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,700 NO. IT'S NOT THE ONLY REASON. 588 00:24:30,700 --> 00:24:32,400 I GOT YOUR MESSAGE ABOUT LAST NIGHT. 589 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,000 I THINK I CAN HELP. NOW WHAT HAPPENED. 590 00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:36,100 IT WENT PRETTY GOOD. YOU KNOW, WE GOT TO THE VELVET, 591 00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,600 YOU KNOW, WE MET THESE CHICKS, WE WAS BUYING THEM DRINKS, 592 00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,100 THEY WAS FEELING OUR NEW FLY GEAR AND SHIT... AND MY HAIR. 593 00:24:41,100 --> 00:24:43,700 YEAH, WE EVEN DEFENDED THEM FROM THIS DUDE WHO TRIED TO SNAKE IN. 594 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,700 YEAH, MAN, BUT WHEN IT CAME TIME TO CLOSE THE DEAL UP, MAN, 595 00:24:46,700 --> 00:24:50,800 THIS DUDE INVITED THEM TO SOME JACUZZI PARTY IN THE HILLS, AND THEY ALL BROKE OUT. 596 00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,700 WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? THEY WERE GONNA BE LIKE, 597 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,700 "NO, LET'S ALL GO BACK TO MY PLACE AND FUCK"? 598 00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:56,000 I WAS HOPING SO. 599 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,600 THERE PROBABLY WASN'T EVEN A PARTY, 600 00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,000 BUT THE DUDE HAD A PLAN. 601 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,900 HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO. 602 00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,100 YOU TELL THEM YOU WANT TO HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT AT YOUR STUDIO 603 00:25:02,100 --> 00:25:03,500 AFTER THE BAR CLOSES. 604 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:05,100 WILL THEY GO FOR THAT? OF COURSE. 605 00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:06,700 LOOK, THEY SPEND A LOT OF MONEY TO LOOK GOOD, 606 00:25:06,700 --> 00:25:08,500 SO YOU KINDA GOTTA PLAY TO THEIR VANITY. 607 00:25:08,500 --> 00:25:10,200 OKAY, BUT WHERE ARE WE GONNA TAKE THEM? 608 00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:11,900 I DUNNO, MAN, YOU'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 609 00:25:11,900 --> 00:25:13,500 HEY, JOHNNY, LET'S GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. 610 00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:15,600 WHAT ABOUT A CAMERA? NO, I'VE GOT A CAMERA. 611 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:17,600 GOOD. BUT YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO GET A POLAROID, TOO. 612 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:20,500 POLAROID? THEY DON'T MAKE THAT SHIT NO MORE. THAT'S OLD. 613 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:22,600 JOHNNY, LETS GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, MAN. LET'S ROLL. 614 00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:24,900 IT DOESN'T MATTER. LOOK, YOU SAID YOU'D DO WHAT I TELL YOU, RIGHT? 615 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:26,700 TRUST ME. ALL RIGHT, MAN. 616 00:25:26,700 --> 00:25:28,200 WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT PATCH ON YOUR SHOULDER? 617 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,700 IT'S A FLEUR DE LIS. IT'S COOL. 618 00:25:29,700 --> 00:25:30,800 NO, IT'S NOT COOL. 619 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,100 WELL... 620 00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,700 GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE. BYE, LADIES. 621 00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:38,900 Max: SO JOHNNY TOLD US TO GET BACK ON THE HORSE, 622 00:25:38,900 --> 00:25:42,700 BUT I THOUGHT HE SAID "WHORES." 623 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:40,600 YEAH. I'M UP AND COMING, THOUGH. 624 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,000 I LOVE YOUR OUTFIT. 625 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,700 OH. THIS IS SO OLD. 626 00:26:44,700 --> 00:26:47,300 YOU WANNA COME BACK TO MY BUDDY AARON'S STUDIO, HAVE A PHOTO SHOOT? 627 00:26:47,300 --> 00:26:48,800 A PHOTO SHOOT? 628 00:26:48,800 --> 00:26:50,800 ARE THOSE REAL? 629 00:26:50,900 --> 00:26:52,200 THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN. 630 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,700 I GUESS YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND OUT...MAYBE. 631 00:26:56,700 --> 00:26:58,900 YOU'RE A PHOTOGRAPHER. 632 00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:00,100 ARE THEY PROFESSIONAL? 633 00:27:00,100 --> 00:27:01,900 WELL, YEAH, I GUESS. 634 00:27:01,900 --> 00:27:04,100 LET'S DO IT. YOU GOT SOME BOOZE BACK AT THE OFFICE RIGHT? 635 00:27:04,100 --> 00:27:06,100 YEAH, YEAH. A LITTLE, A LITTLE. 636 00:27:06,100 --> 00:27:07,700 WE COULD DO SOME SHOTS TOGETHER. 637 00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:09,300 YEAH, LETS GO PARTY. COME ON. 638 00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:12,600 UH, THIS IS OUR BACKDROP. 639 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,800 LIKE, USUALLY WE HAVE, LIKE, MOUNTAINS AND LAKES 640 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,800 AND THINGS LIKE THAT AND INDIANS IN THE BACKGROUND, 641 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,600 BUT WE ON A TIGHT BUDGET NOW. 642 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,000 UP AGAINST EACH OTHER. 643 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,200 OKAY, JUST LIKE LITTLE CHICKEN STRIPS, THERE YOU GO. 644 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:29,000 LET ME GET SOME LIGHT. MOVE TO THE RIGHT SOME. MOVE TO THE RIGHT. 645 00:27:29,000 --> 00:27:32,100 RIGHT, NOW YOU'RE A TIGER. TIGERS. 646 00:27:32,100 --> 00:27:33,800 RAWR! ( laughs ) 647 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,800 ALL RIGHT, YOU A CHEETAH. 648 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:40,100 YOU A JAGUAR. YOU A LEOPARD. OKAY, ALL RIGHT. 649 00:27:40,100 --> 00:27:42,300 ( growling ) 650 00:27:47,100 --> 00:27:51,000 HO HO HO! SWEET! 651 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:52,800 MAN, THAT SHIT WAS CRAZY. SO MANY TITTIES, 652 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,400 I JUST WANTED TO RUN DOWN AND GO... 653 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:55,800 NICE. 654 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,300 MAN, IT WAS FUCKING TITSVILLE. 655 00:27:57,400 --> 00:27:59,300 SO, WHO'D YOU END UP WITH, AARON? 656 00:27:59,300 --> 00:28:02,200 I ENDED UP WITH THE BLONDIE. UH, COURTNEY. SHE'S SO COOL. 657 00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,300 DUDE, I NEARLY MADE OUT WITH THAT ASIAN CHICK. 658 00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:06,200 YEAH, MAN, AND I WAS SNUGGLING UP 659 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,400 WITH SOME OF THE FIRMEST, SMALLEST LITTLE TITTIES 660 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:10,100 YOU EVER WANNA GET UP AGAINST, MAN. 661 00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:12,700 WAIT. "NEARLY MADE OUT WITH"? "SNUGGLING"? 662 00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:14,200 ARE YOU GUYS IN JUNIOR HIGH? 663 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,100 OKAY, WAIT. NONE OF YOU GOT LAID OUT OF THIS? 664 00:28:17,100 --> 00:28:18,600 FOR CHRISSAKES, YOU BROUGHT 'EM BACK, 665 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,800 YOU GOT 'EM FUCKED UP-- WHAT HAPPENED? 666 00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,100 WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE. 667 00:28:22,100 --> 00:28:23,700 YEAH, I BROKE OUT MY VAPORIZER, BUT-- 668 00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:25,800 OKAY, NO BOOZE? WHY NOT? 669 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,700 WHAT IS THIS, AMATEUR HOUR? AND, WHAT, A VAPORIZER? 670 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,700 NO, JOHNNY! I USE VAPORIZER! 671 00:28:30,700 --> 00:28:31,900 OF COURSE YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 672 00:28:31,900 --> 00:28:33,400 I LIKE. IT'S GREAT. 673 00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:35,100 IT'S GREAT FOR WASTING WEED. 674 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:37,900 NO. NO, NO, NO. YOU DON'T DO IT RIGHT. 675 00:28:37,900 --> 00:28:40,400 YOU HAVE TO SUCK HARD. I SUCK HARD. 676 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,000 I SUCK SO HARD. YOU KNOW I SUCK GOOD. 677 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,400 YEAH, I KNOW YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 678 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,300 YOU'RE SO BAD. YOU'RE BAD. 679 00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,100 YOU'RE BAD. EVIL. 680 00:28:48,100 --> 00:28:49,900 MAX, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SMOKING A BLUNT FOR? 681 00:28:49,900 --> 00:28:52,800 WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WAS COOL TO SMOKE HERE. 682 00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:55,300 CLAUDIA. TIME FOR MY MEDICINE. 683 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:58,400 LOOK AT THIS SHIT. THIS IS COLD-SORE CHRONIC. 684 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,700 I DON'T WANT YOUR HEPATITIS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 685 00:29:01,700 --> 00:29:04,900 THANK YOU, CLAUDIA. 686 00:29:05,000 --> 00:29:07,000 I USE A CARBONITE. 687 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:09,900 YOU GRIND IT UP FINE, THE WATER COOLS THE SMOKE, 688 00:29:09,900 --> 00:29:11,100 AND THE CARBON TRAPS THE GUNK. 689 00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:12,200 HERE, CHECK IT. 690 00:29:14,900 --> 00:29:16,300 BLACK SMOKE IN... 691 00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:19,200 WHITE SMOKE OUT. 692 00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,300 IT'S A MONSTER HIT, NO COUGHING. 693 00:29:22,300 --> 00:29:25,100 I'M TELLING YOU, THIS IS HOW YOU GET HER PROPERLY STONED. 694 00:29:25,100 --> 00:29:26,300 THANKS, CLAUDIA. 695 00:29:26,300 --> 00:29:27,500 Max: OH, MAN, THAT'S TIGHT. 696 00:29:27,500 --> 00:29:29,900 SO, ALL RIGHT, WELL, NEXT TIME-- 697 00:29:29,900 --> 00:29:31,400 NO, NO, NO. NO NEXT TIME. 698 00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,400 LATE-NIGHT WEED IS ONLY GONNA GET HER 699 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:35,100 HUNGRY OR TIRED OR PARANOID. 700 00:29:35,100 --> 00:29:36,500 WELL, WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO? 701 00:29:36,500 --> 00:29:39,500 WEED IS FOR DAYTIME. COKE IS FOR NIGHTTIME. 702 00:29:39,500 --> 00:29:41,100 YEAH, MAN, BUT WE DON'T REALLY DO COKE. 703 00:29:41,100 --> 00:29:43,200 I DO. SINCE WHEN? 704 00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:46,300 WELL, YOU DO NOW MAX. YOU'RE A BIG BOY. 705 00:29:46,300 --> 00:29:48,200 IT'S NOT LIKE I'M ASKING YOU TO SHOOT UP IN YOUR EYEBALL! 706 00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:49,500 I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT. 707 00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:52,800 OKAY, JOHNNY, ALL DONE. YOU LIKE? 708 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,000 I LIKE. THANK YOU. 709 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,800 OKAY, NOW I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS. 710 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:56,900 OKAY, GO, GO, GO. 711 00:29:56,900 --> 00:29:59,300 I HAVE TO WAX YOUR BALLS. 712 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,400 MAN, THESE CLOTHES, COKE... 713 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,400 WE'RE TURNING INTO HOLLYWOOD DOUCHEBAGS. 714 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,100 HEY, MAN, THAT'S HOW WE GONNA GET THAT HOLLYWOOD TAIL, MAN. 715 00:30:12,100 --> 00:30:13,100 RIGHT ON. 716 00:30:13,100 --> 00:30:14,500 "THE MALE G-SPOT..." 717 00:30:14,500 --> 00:30:17,100 ISN'T THAT HIS DICK? NO, IT'S HIS TAINT. 718 00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:20,100 IT'S RIGHT BETWEEN THE SCHLONG AND THE TURKEY GOBBLE. 719 00:30:20,100 --> 00:30:22,200 ( laughing ) 720 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,100 NO, IT'S IN HIS ASSHOLE. 721 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,300 NASTY. 722 00:30:26,300 --> 00:30:29,400 YOU GUYS LOOK SO CUTE. LOOK. 723 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:31,000 LET ME SEE. 724 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,500 AHH, THIS LOOKS LIKE SUCH A FUN NIGHT. 725 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:35,200 IT WAS OK. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN FUN, 726 00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,100 BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY BOOZE OR DRUGS OR ANYTHING. 727 00:30:38,100 --> 00:30:40,400 OH, I KNOW A GUY WE CAN BUY SOME DRUGS FROM. 728 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:44,000 SWEETIE...WE'RE THE REASON WHY GUYS BUY DRUGS. 729 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,300 AND IT'S NOT JUST DRUGS. BEING HOT IS REALLY EXPENSIVE. 730 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:50,100 EVERY PENNY COUNTS. WENDY, SHOW HER THE SCALE. 731 00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:55,200 A BAG OF WEED AND A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT IS DOWN AT THE BOTTOM. 732 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,100 FLASH THEM, YOU LET THEM JERK OFF. 733 00:30:57,100 --> 00:30:58,900 AND SOME COKE OR A BOTTLE OF XANAX, 734 00:30:58,900 --> 00:31:00,300 AND THEY MIGHT GET A HANDJOB. 735 00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:02,900 SHOES OVER 500 BUCKS, AND THEY MIGHT GET LAID. 736 00:31:02,900 --> 00:31:05,000 IF YOU LIKE THE GUY. 737 00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:06,300 STRIPPER SHOES, AND THEY MIGHT GET 738 00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:08,200 TO SUCK A NIPPLE AND BEAT OFF... 739 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:11,400 NOW, IF IT'S A DAY AT THE SPA, THAT COULD BE A BLOW JOB. 740 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,400 OR IF THEY HELP YOU MOVE, THAT COULD BE ONE, TOO. 741 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:16,000 OKAY, BUT THAT'S ONLY IF YOU'RE IN THE MOOD TO SUCK COCK. 742 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,900 OF COURSE. WHAT IS IT, COURTNEY? 743 00:31:19,900 --> 00:31:25,300 UM, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S KIND OF LIKE WE'RE PROSTITUTES. 744 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:27,000 ( laughter ) 745 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:28,000 WHAT'S YOUR POINT? 746 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,300 HEY! PRIVATE PARTY! 747 00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:35,900 ONCH. BACK IN YOUR ROOM. WHERE YOU BELONG. GO. 748 00:31:35,900 --> 00:31:37,600 OHH, TENANTS! 749 00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,600 LOOK, GIRLS, IT'S NOT AN EVEN PLAYING FIELD. 750 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,000 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD ABOUT A GUY 751 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,900 WHO WAS TRYING TO JUGGLE A CAREER AND A FAMILY? 752 00:31:43,900 --> 00:31:47,000 I MEAN, RIGHT NOW, YOU'RE CUTE AND YOUNG. THANKS! 753 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,300 BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SPEND TO KEEP UP THE HOTNESS AS YOU AGE. 754 00:31:49,300 --> 00:31:51,600 HOW MUCH IS THAT? A LOT. 755 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,600 AND UNLESS YOU WANT TO END UP AS STRETCH-MARKED SINGLE MOTHER 756 00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:57,600 WITH A WASTOID HUSBAND WHO'S IN A BAND, 757 00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,900 WHO CAN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT OR ALIMONY, 758 00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:01,500 YOU BETTER TO GET THAT MONEY. 759 00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:03,000 I'M GOING TO TINKLE. 760 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,600 THAT'S WHAT THE T.O.B. CLUB IS ALL ABOUT. 761 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,100 HOW DO YOU THINK WENDY GOT US OUR HOUSE? 762 00:32:09,100 --> 00:32:10,500 I DON'T KNOW, HOW? 763 00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,500 WELL, SHE WAS WORKING AT THIS TECH FIRM, 764 00:32:12,500 --> 00:32:14,400 AND SHE STARTED SLEEPING WITH THE OWNER... 765 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:16,000 AS WE ALL DO. 766 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,100 AND I THINK HE LIKED HER, 767 00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:20,600 AND THEY BECAME VERY CLOSE. I THINK HE EVEN LOVED HER. 768 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:21,900 OHH! 769 00:32:21,900 --> 00:32:23,600 BUT HE WAS OLD, AND HE WAS JEWISH. 770 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:24,900 OHH. 771 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,300 YEAH. YEAH. 772 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,000 AVI... HI. 773 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:37,000 HI, HONEY. 774 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:38,500 I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT ONE. 775 00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:41,300 YEAH, YEAH, SURE. NICE, NICE. 776 00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:42,600 NO...LOOK. 777 00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,700 NOT NOW. 778 00:32:44,700 --> 00:32:47,400 OH, AVI, YOU HAVE SO MUCH MONEY. 779 00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,300 YOU SHOULD JUST BUY ME A HOUSE. 780 00:32:49,300 --> 00:32:51,200 I'M NOT BUYING YOU A HOUSE. 781 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:54,900 WELL, THE DOWN PAYMENT AT LEAST. 782 00:32:54,900 --> 00:32:57,100 I COULD GET ROOMMATES TO PAY FOR THE MORTGAGE. 783 00:32:57,200 --> 00:32:59,200 WELL, WELL, IT WOULD APPRECIATE... 784 00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,500 THE MARKET'S UP... MAYBE. 785 00:33:01,500 --> 00:33:03,600 AND IT'D BE IN MY NAME, RIGHT? 786 00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:05,900 DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. IT'LL BE IN MY NAME. 787 00:33:05,900 --> 00:33:08,500 NO, MY NAME. 788 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,100 LOOK, I BUY YOU ENOUGH STUFF ALREADY. 789 00:33:11,100 --> 00:33:13,100 BUT YOU PROMISED AFTER A YEAR, YOU'D BUY ME A HOUSE. 790 00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:14,200 NO WAY DID I SAY THAT! 791 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,400 YES, YOU DID! YOU PROMISED! 792 00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,300 NO WAY, I'M NOT BUYING YOU NO HOUSE! 793 00:33:17,300 --> 00:33:19,200 FUCK YOU, YOU ASSHOLE LIAR! 794 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,700 FUCK YOU! NO! OW! OW! 795 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:27,000 MY PLUG! YOU FUCKING LITTLE BITCH! 796 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,400 I'M NOT BUYING YOU ANYTHING! 797 00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:31,100 OWW! WRITE ME THE FUCKING CHECK. 798 00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:33,500 FUCK YOU. 799 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,200 ( gasps ) LOOK WHAT YOU DID! 800 00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:37,500 I'M CALLING THE POLICE. 801 00:33:37,500 --> 00:33:39,200 GO AHEAD, CALL THEM. 802 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:40,700 AS A MATTER OF FACT, I'LL CALL THEM, 803 00:33:40,700 --> 00:33:42,600 AND I'LL HAVE YOU ARRESTED. 804 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:45,600 OH, YEAH, WHO ARE THEY GOING TO BELIEVE, A 90-POUND LITTLE GIRL 805 00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:49,000 OR AN OLD MAN WITH TWO DUIs WHO'S BEEN SEXUALLY HARASSING ME AT WORK? 806 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:52,500 "I'M SORRY, OFFICER, SHE PULLED MY HAIR, SO I BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HER." 807 00:33:52,500 --> 00:33:54,000 GIVE ME THAT! 808 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:55,200 GIVE IT! GIVE ME IT! 809 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:56,200 GIVE IT, I'LL SCREAM. 810 00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:57,500 GO AHEAD, SCREAM. 811 00:33:57,500 --> 00:33:59,700 IT'S SWELLING UP! 812 00:33:59,700 --> 00:34:02,500 YOU KNOW I'M A MODEL. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO WORK AGAIN? 813 00:34:02,500 --> 00:34:04,300 I NEVER LAID A HAND ON YOU. 814 00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,300 OH, YEAH. LET'S SEE WHAT THE JUDGE HAS TO SAY ABOUT THAT. 815 00:34:06,300 --> 00:34:07,600 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WE'LL SEE WHAT THE JUDGE SAYS"? 816 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,000 I NEVER TOUCHED YOU. YES, YOU DID, YOU BASTARD! 817 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,400 OH, MAN, FORGET WITH THE PICTURES. I DIDN'T TOUCH YOU. 818 00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,000 I'M GONNA CALL THE COPS. 819 00:34:15,300 --> 00:34:19,200 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. YOU WIN. YOU WIN. 820 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:20,700 I'M GETTING OUT MY CHECKBOOK. I'M GONNA WRITE YOU THE CHECK. 821 00:34:20,700 --> 00:34:22,700 GOOD. YOU SHOULD. 822 00:34:22,700 --> 00:34:25,300 NOW YOU GET YOUR STUFF, YOU PACK IT UP, 823 00:34:25,300 --> 00:34:27,600 AND YOU GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. 824 00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:28,600 JUST SIGN IT. 825 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,700 HERE'S YOUR CHECK. 826 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,700 IT'S WORTH A MEASLY HUNDRED GRAND JUST TO GET RID OF YOU, 827 00:34:36,700 --> 00:34:39,100 YOU SPITEFUL LITTLE CUNT. 828 00:34:39,100 --> 00:34:41,400 BUT THEY CAME UP WITH A HAPPY SOLUTION, 829 00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:43,600 AND THEY BOTH GOT WHAT THEY WANTED. 830 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:45,100 AS WE ALL SHOULD. 831 00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:48,400 OKAY, LADIES... 832 00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:51,400 OHH! OHH! WHAT IS THAT? 833 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:54,100 SEX TIP OF THE WEEK... 834 00:34:54,100 --> 00:34:57,800 "TO DRIVE YOUR MAN CRAZY, PLACE THE DONUT OVER THE SHAFT 835 00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,200 AND GENTLY NIBBLE IT OFF." 836 00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,500 OKAY, WHO WANTS TO HELP? 837 00:35:03,500 --> 00:35:07,800 UH, LYRIC AND PAGE. COME ON. 838 00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,700 ( chanting ) DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! 839 00:35:11,700 --> 00:35:14,500 ( indistinct shouting ) 840 00:35:19,100 --> 00:35:23,200 DUDE, JOHNNY'S GUY IS NOT FUCKING AROUND. THIS SHIT IS NICE. 841 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,300 YEAH, LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE BABY GLACIER. 842 00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:27,600 THEY CALL IT FISH SCALE, LIKE WHEN IT GLISTENS, YOU KNOW. 843 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:29,400 MAN, IF WE START SELLING THIS SHIT, 844 00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:31,600 THEN I COULD ACTUALLY RAP ABOUT IT. 845 00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:33,600 ? YEAH, RIBBITY RAP RAP, RAP ABOUT IT ? 846 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,400 DUDE, WE MAY NOT EVEN HAVE TO SELL IT. 847 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:38,200 THAT GIRL GRETCHEN CALLED ME. SHE WANTS TO GET SOME OF THIS. 848 00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,200 I'M THINKING I MIGHT GET SOME OF THAT. HA. 849 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:42,100 ? LOOK AT THIS LITTLE ROCK OF COKE ? 850 00:35:42,100 --> 00:35:43,700 ? IT LOOKS LIKE A BABY GLACIER 851 00:35:43,700 --> 00:35:46,400 ? I MIGHT GIVE YOU SOME IF YOU HIT ME ON THE PAGER ? 852 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:47,900 ? HIT YOU UP LATER 853 00:35:47,900 --> 00:35:51,900 OH, I'M ONTO SOME SHIT RIGHT HERE. RIGHT? 854 00:35:51,900 --> 00:35:53,600 I HATE IT. 855 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:55,200 YOU NEED TO STOP HATIN' 'CAUSE YOU CANT RAP. 856 00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,900 I'M NOT--WHY AM I A HATER ALL OF A SUDDEN? 857 00:35:56,900 --> 00:35:59,700 DON'T WORRY, YVONNE, YOU'LL GET THE HANG OF IT, 858 00:35:59,700 --> 00:36:01,500 BUT FIRST WE HAVE TO FIX THESE. 859 00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:03,200 I'M FINE WITH THEM THE WAY THEY ARE. 860 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,400 I KNOW, SWEETIE, BUT DID THE DOCTOR CALL? 861 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,200 YEAH. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO OUT NEXT WEEK, BUT WHAT DO I DO? 862 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,400 IT'S EASY. HE'S A DOG, SO JUST THROW HIM A BONE. 863 00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,700 HE DID BOTH OF OURS, AND ELLE'S. 864 00:36:13,700 --> 00:36:16,100 ( sighs ) 865 00:36:16,100 --> 00:36:18,500 WHAT SIZE WOULD I GET? 866 00:36:18,500 --> 00:36:21,400 SIZE DOESN'T MATTER, SWEETIE. 867 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:22,600 MINE ARE RELATIVELY SMALL. 868 00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:23,800 MINE ARE BIG. 869 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,200 BUT WE DON'T DISCRIMINATE HERE. 870 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,800 GUYS LIKE GIRLS WITH IMPLANTS, 871 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,700 AND WE DIDN'T GET THEM DONE TO PUT THEM AWAY. 872 00:36:28,700 --> 00:36:30,300 SO WHEN IS YOUR DATE? 873 00:36:30,300 --> 00:36:31,800 THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. 874 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:34,400 OKAY, SO GO OUT TO DINNER WITH HIM, 875 00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:36,300 AND LET HIM TALK ABOUT HOW GREAT HE IS 876 00:36:36,300 --> 00:36:37,900 AND LAUGH AT ALL OF HIS STUPID JOKES. 877 00:36:37,900 --> 00:36:41,500 "OHH, OH, OH, IT HURTS, IT HURTS!" 878 00:36:41,500 --> 00:36:47,100 "WELL, MRS. PLOTNICK, I THINK YOU GOT A BROKEN FINGER." 879 00:36:47,100 --> 00:36:48,500 ( laughing ) 880 00:36:48,500 --> 00:36:50,300 YOU'RE SO FUNNY! 881 00:36:50,300 --> 00:36:51,600 WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 882 00:36:51,700 --> 00:36:54,200 I WORK IN THE RESEARCH LAB FOR A WHILE... 883 00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:55,400 Big Wendy: TOUCH HIM A LITTLE BIT. 884 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,900 YOU'RE SO SMART. 885 00:36:57,900 --> 00:36:59,700 YOU HAVE A PIECE OF PAPER HERE. 886 00:36:59,700 --> 00:37:02,300 YOU ISOLATE THE TISSUE FROM THE RAT. 887 00:37:02,300 --> 00:37:03,800 Little Wendy: HE'S GOING TO INVITE YOU BACK TO HIS PLACE. 888 00:37:03,800 --> 00:37:05,300 Yvonne: DO I GO? 889 00:37:05,300 --> 00:37:06,700 Little Wendy: OF COURSE. 890 00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:08,700 YOU'RE A MOUSE KILLER. 891 00:37:08,700 --> 00:37:10,500 Big Wendy: IT'S $8,000 OTHERWISE... 892 00:37:10,500 --> 00:37:12,800 PER TATA! LOOK AT YOU! 893 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,600 Little Wendy: SAY SOMETHING ABOUT HIS CAR. 894 00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:17,500 Big Wendy: OH, THEY LOVE THEIR CARS. 895 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:21,500 OH, MY GOD. I LOVE YOUR CAR, BY THE WAY. 896 00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:23,200 IT IS SO HOT. 897 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:24,500 SO WHERE ARE WE GOING? 898 00:37:24,500 --> 00:37:26,200 HOW ABOUT YOUR PLACE? 899 00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,400 AND THEN? 900 00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:31,500 AND THEN I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU... 901 00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,900 Little Wendy: ...AND GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. 902 00:37:33,900 --> 00:37:35,500 ( whispering ) 903 00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:38,300 ...LIKE, ALL OVER MY FACE AND LIPS. 904 00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:41,400 OH, BABY, THAT'S SO HOT. 905 00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:46,000 Yvonne: EWWW. DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO IT? 906 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,700 OF COURSE NOT, BUT YOU WANNA KEEP HIS HEAD IN THE GAME. 907 00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:53,900 EVERY MAN HAS SOMETHING THAT DRIVES HIM CRAZY. 908 00:37:53,900 --> 00:37:59,000 DR. EUGENE IS A NEAT FREAK, METROSEXUAL, BUT, LIKE, TOO MUCH, YOU KNOW? 909 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,700 Big Wendy: HE'S A CLEAN FREAK 910 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:02,400 IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD. 911 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,900 BUT USE THAT AGAINST HIM. 912 00:38:03,900 --> 00:38:06,600 MAKE A MESS, BEND OVER AND CLEAN IT UP. 913 00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,600 HE'LL BE WET SOAP IN YOUR HANDS... 914 00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:13,400 IT IS SO HOOKED UP. AND I LOVE THE WAY YOU DECORATED THE PLACE, TOO. 915 00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:15,200 IT IS SO NEAT. 916 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,300 I LIKE BEAUTIFUL THINGS. 917 00:38:17,300 --> 00:38:21,400 AND IT IS SO CLEAN, TOO. I MEAN, LOOK AT THIS TABLE... 918 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:24,000 YOU COULD PRACTICALLY DO OPERATIONS OFF OF IT. 919 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,800 ONLY MY THOUGHTS ARE DIRTY, MY DEAR YVONNE. 920 00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:31,400 EXCEPT FOR THIS. I MEAN, IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR KNOB IS A LITTLE DIRTY. 921 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,500 DO YOU MIND IF I JUST... POLISH YOUR KNOB? 922 00:38:34,500 --> 00:38:35,600 ( blows air ) 923 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,400 A KNOB CANNOT BE TOO SHINY IN MY BOOK. 924 00:38:46,400 --> 00:38:48,700 OH, YEAH, WELL, I LOVE TO CLEAN, TOO. 925 00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:51,700 I'M A BIT OF A FREAK ABOUT IT ACTUALLY. I HOPE THAT'S OKAY. 926 00:38:51,700 --> 00:38:56,500 LOOK AT THIS MESS. WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT AND CLEAN THIS FOR YOU? 927 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,700 ( whirring ) 928 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:04,700 LET ME SEE HOW THIS FEELS! OHH...I LIKE THAT. 929 00:39:04,700 --> 00:39:11,500 YEAH... I USE THE HOSE ATTACHMENT. IT'S MY GUILTY PLEASURE. 930 00:39:11,500 --> 00:39:13,700 I'M SURE YOU DO. 931 00:39:13,700 --> 00:39:15,400 ( whirring stops ) 932 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:19,400 OH, LOOK AT THAT DIRTY GLASS. LET ME HANDLE THAT FOR YOU. 933 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:20,700 THAT'S AMAZING! 934 00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:23,500 OKAY, WELL, I DON'T WANT TO GET MY DRESS WET, 935 00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:26,000 SO I'M JUST GOING TO TAKE IT OFF. 936 00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:31,700 ( singing in foreign language ) 937 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:45,900 WOW. YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU'RE ALMOST PERFECT. 938 00:39:45,900 --> 00:39:47,800 ALMOST? 939 00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:50,500 WITH A LITTLE SHAPING HERE AND THERE... 940 00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:53,500 REALLY? BECAUSE I'M PRETTY HAPPY WITH HOW I AM NATURALLY. 941 00:39:53,500 --> 00:39:54,900 THEY ALWAYS LOOK SO FAKE. 942 00:39:54,900 --> 00:39:56,700 OH, NOT IF I DO IT. 943 00:39:56,700 --> 00:40:01,400 I'M THE BEST. LATEST TECHNIQUES, TINY INCISIONS, 944 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:05,600 ATRAUMATIC PROCEDURES... NO BRUISING AT ALL. 945 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,600 ALL RIGHT, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT. 946 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:09,900 YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT, LOVE IT. 947 00:40:09,900 --> 00:40:11,800 RIGHT NOW, I'D LOVE A DRINK. 948 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,600 OH, YOU WILL HAVE THAT. 949 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:17,500 NOT IF I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU. ( laughs ) 950 00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:19,000 HERE YOU GO. 951 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,700 Little Wendy: AND THEN JUST SEAL THE DEAL. 952 00:40:21,700 --> 00:40:23,400 ( clink ) 953 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:28,000 NO, I REALLY SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING NOW. 954 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,800 OH, PLEASE STAY. I'LL DROP YOU IN THE MORNING. 955 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:35,000 NO, I SHOULD PROBABLY GO NOW. 956 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:37,700 BEFORE YOU GO DO YOU MIND IF I... 957 00:40:37,700 --> 00:40:40,600 WHAT? TAKE A BITE OUT OF CRIME? 958 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,500 YEAH. 959 00:40:42,500 --> 00:40:44,400 GO AHEAD. 960 00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:50,000 OHH! WHOA! THAT'S FORWARD! 961 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,600 DO YOU MIND IF I... TOUCH MYSELF? 962 00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,700 WHY DON'T I HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT? 963 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:02,000 ( singing in foreign language ) 964 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,500 LET ME GET MY PANTS OFF. 965 00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:11,100 SO CLEAN... I KNOW HOW YOU LIKE THAT SOAP. 966 00:41:11,100 --> 00:41:12,400 HERE WE GO. 967 00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,700 OHH. 968 00:41:16,500 --> 00:41:18,000 OHH. 969 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,200 YOU LIKE THAT? 970 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:21,100 OH, YEAH. CAN I SEE YOU AGAIN? 971 00:41:21,100 --> 00:41:22,500 MAYBE. 972 00:41:22,500 --> 00:41:25,900 OHH. SCOUR IT, I DON'T CARE. 973 00:41:25,900 --> 00:41:28,000 YEAH, RUB IT. 974 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:31,000 BUT IF I SEE YOU AGAIN, WE'LL DEFINITELY BE CLEANING YOUR BEDROOM. 975 00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:32,600 BEDROOM. YEAH. 976 00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:34,600 DIRTY BEDROOM. DIRTY BEDROOM. 977 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:38,000 MUD TRACKING IN FROM OUTSIDE. OH, YEAH! 978 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,200 DR. EUGENE! WHOO! 979 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,200 SO HOW MUCH IS IT? 980 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,800 TWO GRAMS... ONE HUNDRED. 981 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,800 HMM, WELL, I DON'T HAVE THE WHOLE HUNDRED... 982 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,600 BUT I HAVE THESE. 983 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,200 I ACCEPT THOSE. 984 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,600 Max: ALL RIGHT, REMEMBER WHAT JOHNNY EYELASH SAID... 985 00:41:57,600 --> 00:41:59,600 DIVIDE AND CONQUER. 986 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,200 ( women talking indistinctly ) 987 00:42:01,200 --> 00:42:02,800 I HAVE THE SAME DRESS. 988 00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:08,500 ( women talking indistinctly ) 989 00:42:08,500 --> 00:42:09,600 HEY. HEY. 990 00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:11,200 HEY. HOW'S IT GOIN'? 991 00:42:11,200 --> 00:42:12,600 SO IT'S PRETTY GOOD, HUH? 992 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,200 YEAH, IT WAS OKAY. 993 00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:15,500 SO DO YOU HAVE TO WORK TOMORROW? 994 00:42:15,500 --> 00:42:17,600 NO. WELL, NOT UNTIL 6 P.M. 995 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,200 OKAY, DO YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE? WE COULD SHARE A CAB. 996 00:42:20,200 --> 00:42:22,800 NO. LET'S GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND PARTY. 997 00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:24,700 AWESOME. OKAY. 998 00:42:24,700 --> 00:42:26,100 SO YOU WANNA GO BACK TO MY SPOT 999 00:42:26,100 --> 00:42:29,200 AND LEAVE THESE LOVEBIRDS TO DO THEIR THING? 1000 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:30,300 DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE AT HOME? 1001 00:42:30,300 --> 00:42:31,700 YEAH. A GRIP. 1002 00:42:31,700 --> 00:42:34,600 OKAY. BUT NO FUNNY STUFF. 1003 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:37,600 I KNOW. ( scoffs ) 1004 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,700 ( indistinct chattering ) 1005 00:42:46,100 --> 00:42:48,000 DAMN. AHH. 1006 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,800 NICE TOUCH. AHEM. 1007 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:56,700 MY SISTER AND HER FRIENDS, THEY'RE ALL INTO THIS POSITIVE THINKING. 1008 00:42:56,700 --> 00:42:59,800 THERE'S THIS ONE GIRL CARLY-- SHE WALKS AROUND WITH A BLACK CLOUD OVER HER HEAD, 1009 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:03,000 BUT THEN SHE WATCHED THE SECRET, AND I WATCHED THE SECRET WITH MY FRIEND TIESTO. 1010 00:43:03,000 --> 00:43:04,100 YOU KNOW WHO TIESTO IS, RIGHT? 1011 00:43:04,100 --> 00:43:06,300 HUGE D.J. DOES ALL THE BIG PARTIES. 1012 00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:13,300 SO I DON'T LIKE THAT ATKINS DIET. 1013 00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:14,700 THAT'S TOO MANY RULES FOR ME. 1014 00:43:14,700 --> 00:43:15,900 MY BIG THING...JUICING. 1015 00:43:15,900 --> 00:43:17,600 YOU WANNA HEAR THE RECIPE? HERE IT IS. 1016 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,300 THIS IS WHAT I USE. I USE KALE, I USE SWISS CHARD... 1017 00:43:20,300 --> 00:43:21,900 GIVES IT A ZING, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT? 1018 00:43:21,900 --> 00:43:24,700 THEN MY DOCTOR, HE'S LIKE, YOU CANT USE SUGAR. 1019 00:43:27,100 --> 00:43:29,600 ( cash register dings ) 1020 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:20,100 ( whistling ) 1021 00:44:27,900 --> 00:44:29,900 YEAH, THIS ONE, THIS IS WHEN I WAS IN FRANCE. 1022 00:44:29,900 --> 00:44:32,700 REALLY AWESOME TRIP. YOU SEE THIS GUY? HE'S PRETTY GOOD-LOOKING, HUH? 1023 00:44:32,700 --> 00:44:34,900 SO GOOD IN BED. YEAH, BUT HE'S A BIT BORING. 1024 00:44:34,900 --> 00:44:36,900 HELL, YES. I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 1025 00:44:36,900 --> 00:44:38,100 HEY, YOU GOT ANY MORE BLOW? 1026 00:44:38,100 --> 00:44:39,700 NAH, YOU DID IT ALL. 1027 00:44:39,700 --> 00:44:41,300 CAN I DO THE LAST LINE FOR THE ROAD? UH, YEAH. 1028 00:44:41,300 --> 00:44:43,400 UH, I WAS WONDERING, UH... 1029 00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:46,300 BEFORE YOU LEFT IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND 1030 00:44:46,300 --> 00:44:50,900 IF I JUST LOOK AT YOU AND BEAT OFF TO YOU? 1031 00:44:50,900 --> 00:44:53,200 I SAID NO FUNNY STUFF. 1032 00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,300 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU SAID THAT, BUT, YOU KNOW, 1033 00:44:55,300 --> 00:44:57,200 WE STARTED LOOKING AT THE MODELING PICTURES. 1034 00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,800 LOOK, I'LL EVEN DO IT OVER HERE. 1035 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,300 OKAY, FINE. 1036 00:45:03,700 --> 00:45:07,400 ALL RIGHT, COME ON, GIVE ME A LITTLE BIT OF ENCOURAGEMENT. 1037 00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,900 OH, YEAH. 1038 00:45:08,900 --> 00:45:12,700 YOU ARE AMAZING. 1039 00:45:12,700 --> 00:45:14,100 I KNOW. 1040 00:45:16,900 --> 00:45:20,700 NOW I'M GOING TO GET MY FUCK ON. 1041 00:45:20,700 --> 00:45:21,900 IS THIS GONNA TAKE MUCH LONGER? 1042 00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:23,000 CAN YOU SHOW ME YOUR NIPPLE? 1043 00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,900 GOD. 1044 00:45:25,900 --> 00:45:27,700 OH, YES. THAT'LL DO. 1045 00:45:27,700 --> 00:45:29,400 IT'S GETTING LIGHT OUTSIDE. I HATE THAT. 1046 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,800 DO NOT GET ANY OF THAT ON ME. 1047 00:45:30,800 --> 00:45:32,900 ALL RIGHT. AH, THAT'S IT. 1048 00:45:32,900 --> 00:45:35,800 YEAH, IT BETTER BE IT, 'CAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TAKE OFF IN A MINUTE. 1049 00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:38,000 LOOK, WOULD YOU JUST STOP TALKING? DAMN! 1050 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:41,800 DON'T GET PISSY WITH ME. I'M DOING YOU THE FAVOR. ANYWAYS, I'M GETTING COLD. 1051 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,000 UH, LOOK, CAN YOU JUST, UH... 1052 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000 SHOW ME A LITTLE PIECE OF YOUR ASS? 1053 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:47,900 JUST THE TOP PIECE, AND I SWEAR I'LL COME QUICK. 1054 00:45:47,900 --> 00:45:49,100 OH, GOD. 1055 00:45:50,100 --> 00:45:51,200 THANK YOU. 1056 00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:53,900 AHH. OH, YEAH, THANK YOU. 1057 00:45:53,900 --> 00:45:55,900 CAN YOU PLEASE HURRY UP? THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG. I'M ABOUT TO COME RIGHT NOW. 1058 00:45:55,900 --> 00:45:58,400 YEAH, YOU BETTER BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO GET OUT OF HERE, OKAY? 1059 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:00,800 I GOTTA WALK MY DOG. LITTLE DOG SHITS ALL OVER MY KITCHEN NOW. 1060 00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:02,100 UHH! AAH! 1061 00:46:02,100 --> 00:46:04,700 OW! OH, MY GOD! 1062 00:46:04,700 --> 00:46:07,300 WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU ASSHOLE! 1063 00:46:07,300 --> 00:46:09,800 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE KEEP TRACK OF THIS SHIT. 1064 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:13,100 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA FUCK AGAIN IN THIS TOWN! 1065 00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:16,900 ( laughing ) OH, MY GOD. THAT WAS GREAT. 1066 00:46:16,900 --> 00:46:18,700 I'M SORRY! 1067 00:46:18,700 --> 00:46:21,200 ( laughter ) 1068 00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:23,500 YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'? 1069 00:46:23,500 --> 00:46:26,000 ? THAT LOQUACIOUS BITCH WENT ON A FRUIT JUICE RAMBLE ? 1070 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,500 ? I HAD TO WHIP OUT MY DICK AND SHOOT JIZZ LIKE RAMBO ? 1071 00:46:28,500 --> 00:46:31,000 ABSOLUTELY. 1072 00:46:31,000 --> 00:46:34,200 SHE DRANK YOU OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME, SHE DID ALL YOUR GEAR, 1073 00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,900 AND THE YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO HER STUPID STORIES ALL NIGHT. 1074 00:46:36,900 --> 00:46:38,200 ( buzz ) 1075 00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,400 HEY. HEY, JOHNNY. 1076 00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:40,900 ( sighs ) 1077 00:46:40,900 --> 00:46:42,500 SO, WHAT ABOUT YOU, GLEN? 1078 00:46:42,500 --> 00:46:44,800 OH, DUDE, IT HAPPENED JUST LIKE YOU SAID IT WOULD. 1079 00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:46,300 SHE DIDN'T WANT TO PAY FOR IT, 1080 00:46:46,300 --> 00:46:48,000 AND BEFORE YOU CAN SAY, "THREE-DOLLAR COKE WHORE," 1081 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,100 I'M CHEWING ON HER TITS LIKE A SIX-MONTH-OLD BABY. 1082 00:46:50,100 --> 00:46:51,100 ( laughing ) 1083 00:46:51,100 --> 00:46:53,100 NEXT PATIENT, PLEASE. 1084 00:46:53,100 --> 00:46:54,500 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S US, GUYS, COME ON. 1085 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000 MMM. THAT'S NICE. 1086 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:05,500 LET ME HAVE A QUARTER. YOU GOT IT. 1087 00:47:05,500 --> 00:47:07,500 DUDE, CAN WE GET SOME? NO, DICKSHINE. 1088 00:47:07,500 --> 00:47:09,200 THIS IS ONLY IF YOU'RE SICK. 1089 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:12,500 YOU GOTTA GET YOURS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. OUTSIDE. 1090 00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:14,500 DUDE, THAT'S FUCKED UP. YOU AIN'T SICK, MAN. 1091 00:47:14,500 --> 00:47:17,000 YOU KNOW I WANT SOME OF THIS SHIT. 1092 00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,000 HERE. YES! 1093 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,300 I GUESS THIS'LL DO. 1094 00:47:20,300 --> 00:47:23,000 SO, AARON, HOW'D YOUR COKESCAPADE GO? 1095 00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:25,800 MAN, FUCK COKE! YOU KNOW? 1096 00:47:25,900 --> 00:47:27,400 HONESTLY, WE HAD A GREAT NIGHT LAST NIGHT. 1097 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:30,400 THIS MORNING WE WOKE UP, AND I MADE HER BREAKFAST. 1098 00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:33,500 WE HAD A LOT OF FUN. DUDE, SHE'S A REALLY GOOD GIRL. 1099 00:47:33,500 --> 00:47:37,200 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I'M GOING TO ASK HER TO BE MY GIRLFRIEND. 1100 00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:40,200 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? YOU'RE ALREADY FUCKING HER! 1101 00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:41,400 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? SHE'S NOT ALL MONEY-GRUBBING. 1102 00:47:41,400 --> 00:47:43,100 YEAH, MAYBE NOT YET, BUT... 1103 00:47:43,100 --> 00:47:47,900 I USED TO BE LIKE YOU. ALL WIDE-EYED AND IN LOVE. 1104 00:47:47,900 --> 00:47:50,200 IT'S OVER! COME ON, WEN, PLEASE! 1105 00:47:50,200 --> 00:47:52,800 DON'T GO WITH THIS BOOB! YOU LIKE MY HAIR AND MY SHOES, 1106 00:47:52,800 --> 00:47:55,000 BUT HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO PAY FOR IT WITH YOUR STUPID LYRICS? 1107 00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,200 JESUS, WEN, I'M SORRY, OKAY? COME ON. 1108 00:47:58,200 --> 00:48:00,300 GET A JOB, DICKWAD. FUCK YOU, QUEERBURGER! 1109 00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,000 WENDY! WENDY! 1110 00:48:03,000 --> 00:48:04,300 COME ON, MAN! 1111 00:48:04,300 --> 00:48:06,200 ...BUT I DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. 1112 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:07,600 LISTEN, THEY'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT, BRO. 1113 00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,300 BLAZE OUT, BRO. 1114 00:48:09,300 --> 00:48:11,000 THANK YOU, DOCTOR. 1115 00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,100 HERE, COME WITH ME. LET ME SHOW YOU GUYS SOMETHING. 1116 00:48:16,100 --> 00:48:17,900 ALL RIGHT, TAKE A LOOK AROUND, WHAT DO YOU SEE? 1117 00:48:17,900 --> 00:48:19,400 TITTIES. THAT'S RIGHT. 1118 00:48:19,400 --> 00:48:22,200 YOU GOT YOUR CHERRIES, 1119 00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:24,300 APRICOTS, 1120 00:48:24,300 --> 00:48:26,100 TANGERINES, 1121 00:48:26,100 --> 00:48:27,200 LEMONS, 1122 00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:29,300 CANTALOUPES, 1123 00:48:29,300 --> 00:48:32,200 OH, AND, OF COURSE, WATERMELONS. 1124 00:48:32,300 --> 00:48:33,500 HEY, WHAT KIND OF FRUIT ARE THOSE? 1125 00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,100 THAT IS AN ASIAN PEAR. 1126 00:48:36,100 --> 00:48:40,600 HEY, CHECK IT OUT... A GRANNY SMITH! HA HA HA! 1127 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:43,500 NICE. BUT, LOOK, ALL THESE TITTIES AIN'T FOR FREE. 1128 00:48:43,500 --> 00:48:45,200 CHECK OUT THIS COUPLE OVER HERE. 1129 00:48:45,200 --> 00:48:47,100 WHO DO YOU THINK PAID FOR THAT MEAL? 1130 00:48:47,100 --> 00:48:48,200 THE DUDE? 1131 00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:50,100 THAT'S RIGHT. 1132 00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:52,600 TAKE A LOOK OVER THERE. WHO'S BUYING THOSE CLOTHES? 1133 00:48:52,600 --> 00:48:54,100 DEFINITELY THE DUDE. 1134 00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:55,400 LOOK AT THIS GUY IN HERE. 1135 00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,500 HUNDRED BUCKS FOR THAT ROUND, AT LEAST. 1136 00:48:57,500 --> 00:48:59,400 AND TRUST ME, HE AIN'T NAILING ALL OF THEM. 1137 00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:01,000 IS HE, AARON? 1138 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,900 I DON'T KNOW. 1139 00:49:02,900 --> 00:49:07,400 CHECK THIS OUT. LOOK AT THE ROCK ON HER FINGER. 1140 00:49:07,400 --> 00:49:08,400 IT'S AN ENGAGEMENT RING! 1141 00:49:08,400 --> 00:49:09,500 AND WHO PAID FOR IT? 1142 00:49:09,500 --> 00:49:11,300 THE MAN. THAT'S RIGHT. 1143 00:49:11,300 --> 00:49:13,100 AND WHEN SHE GETS HOME, SHE'S GONNA DROP THOSE PANTIES 1144 00:49:13,100 --> 00:49:15,300 LIKE MY IPHONE DROPS CALLS. 1145 00:49:15,300 --> 00:49:17,100 LOOK, ALL THESE HOLLYWOOD CHICKS WANT SOMETHING, 1146 00:49:17,100 --> 00:49:19,400 AND SEX IS THEIR CURRENCY. 1147 00:49:19,400 --> 00:49:21,300 I HAVEN'T SEEN COURTNEY DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 1148 00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:22,900 WHY DON'T YOU STOP BY HER WORK TONIGHT, 1149 00:49:22,900 --> 00:49:25,000 AND YOU'LL GET YOUR CHANCE? 1150 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:27,500 YO, DUDE, MAN, WE'VE BEEN GETTING SOME WORTHY TAIL LATELY. 1151 00:49:27,500 --> 00:49:29,400 MAN, I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO HIM. 1152 00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,000 YEAH, OR JUST MAKE HER YOUR GIRLFRIEND 1153 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:32,100 AND THEN SEE OTHER ONES ON THE SIDE. 1154 00:49:32,100 --> 00:49:33,300 NO. WHY NOT? 1155 00:49:33,300 --> 00:49:35,300 NO! NO, LOOK, YOU DON'T CHEAT. 1156 00:49:35,300 --> 00:49:38,100 IT'S NOT COOL, EVER, AND THERE'S NO NEED TO. 1157 00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,600 LOOK, GUYS, DON'T DATE ONE CHICK THAT YOU'RE FAITHFUL TO. 1158 00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,200 YOU DATE LOTS OF CHICKS, YOU ROTATE THEM, 1159 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:45,400 AND YOU BE HONEST ABOUT IT. 1160 00:49:45,400 --> 00:49:47,200 LOOK, GUYS, I ALWAYS WANTED A SON, 1161 00:49:47,200 --> 00:49:49,100 BUT AT THIS POINT, IT'S PROBABLY NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. 1162 00:49:49,100 --> 00:49:52,100 I WANTED HIM TO BE PREPARED WHEN DEALING WITH THE UNFAIR SEX, 1163 00:49:52,100 --> 00:49:55,200 SO I RECORDED SOME LITTLE NUGGETS OF WISDOM ON THIS. 1164 00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:56,600 BUT BE CAREFUL WITH IT, ALL RIGHT? 1165 00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:58,400 THERE'S A LOT THERE. 1166 00:49:58,400 --> 00:50:02,200 GOOD LUCK PICKING UP CHICKS NOW, MOTHERFUCKER, PIECE OF SHIT! 1167 00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,700 I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 1168 00:50:04,700 --> 00:50:07,100 WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T CHEAT. 1169 00:50:07,100 --> 00:50:09,400 BUT IF YOU DO, STICK TO YOUR FUCKIN' STORY. 1170 00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,700 PAPA SMURF CALLED! HE WANTS HIS DICK BACK! OH, YEAH?! 1171 00:50:12,700 --> 00:50:15,200 GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME, RIGHT NOW! 1172 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:16,600 SADIE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1173 00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,700 I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! 1174 00:50:19,700 --> 00:50:22,200 IT'S MOSTLY ABOUT BEING HONEST AND STRAIGHT UP, 1175 00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,100 YOU KNOW, OWNING YOUR INNER PIG. 1176 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:35,500 Woman: STILL UPSET ABOUT THE FIGHT WITH JOHNNY. 1177 00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:38,200 CAME HOME AND GOT DRUNK AND HAD SEX WITH MY NEIGHBOR FRANK. 1178 00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:39,600 IT FELT GREAT. 1179 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:42,200 I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT A MAN ANYMORE. 1180 00:50:43,500 --> 00:50:46,400 NEVER READ YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S DIARY. 1181 00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,400 GIRLS LIKE A TAKE-CHARGE GUY. 1182 00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,400 SO YOU JUST LAY DOWN WHAT YOU WANT, 1183 00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:53,400 TELL HER YOU'RE NOT LOOKING FOR A GIRLFRIEND UPFRONT, 1184 00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:55,200 AND SHE CAN'T NEVER ACCUSE YOU OF BEING AN ASSHOLE. 1185 00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,400 ( moans ) YES, JOHNNY... 1186 00:50:57,400 --> 00:51:01,600 OH, THAT'S GOOD RIGHT THERE. THAT'S GOOD. AHH! 1187 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:05,400 RIGHT THERE. OHH! NO! 1188 00:51:05,400 --> 00:51:06,800 WHAT ARE YOU STOPPING FOR? 1189 00:51:10,500 --> 00:51:12,100 WHAT THE FUCK? 1190 00:51:12,100 --> 00:51:15,100 THAT'S WEIRD. I JUST WAXED YESTERDAY. 1191 00:51:15,100 --> 00:51:18,400 NO, THIS IS NOT YOUR PUBE. YOUR PUSSY'S BALD! 1192 00:51:19,700 --> 00:51:23,700 OH, I KNOW WHO THAT WAS. THAT WAS--NEVER MIND. 1193 00:51:23,700 --> 00:51:28,200 NEVER GO DOWN ON A STRIPPER YOU JUST MET. 1194 00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:30,300 DOUBLE-BOOKING BITCH. 1195 00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:33,300 ALTHOUGH GIRLS WANT TO FUCK AND DO DRUGS, 1196 00:51:33,300 --> 00:51:34,800 THEY FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. I MEAN, THEY WANT TO GET DOWN, 1197 00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,700 BUT THEY KIND OF WANT TO BE "TRICKED" INTO IT. 1198 00:51:36,700 --> 00:51:40,300 THIS IS RETARDED. BE STRAIGHT UP AND HONEST WITH THEM, 1199 00:51:40,300 --> 00:51:43,300 BUT THEN GET THEM HIGH AND WASTED AND TRICK THEM INTO IT? 1200 00:51:43,300 --> 00:51:44,700 YOU MAKE THAT SOUND LIKE IT'S A BAD THING. 1201 00:51:44,700 --> 00:51:47,300 I WISH I COULD GET DRUNK AND HIGH FOR FREE. 1202 00:51:47,300 --> 00:51:48,800 YEAH. THEY SHOULD BE THANKING US. 1203 00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,800 YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS. I'M GOING TO SEE MY GIRLFRIEND. 1204 00:51:50,800 --> 00:51:53,400 THERE'S A REASON THEY CALL IT "COMMITTED," AARON. 1205 00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,500 YOU'RE GONNA BE AT SOME PARTY, WASTED, 1206 00:51:56,500 --> 00:51:58,200 AND SOME HOTTIE'S GONNA BE JOCKING YOU, 1207 00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,400 AND YOU'RE GOING TO SLIP UP, MAN. 1208 00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:02,700 I'M OUT. PFFT. 1209 00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:04,300 YO, MAN. LATERS. 1210 00:52:04,300 --> 00:52:05,500 YOU GUYS GOT YOUR ASSIGNMENTS, RIGHT? 1211 00:52:05,500 --> 00:52:06,800 JUST REMEMBER, JUST BE STRAIGHT UP, 1212 00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:08,500 AND TELL HER, "WE CAN SLEEP TOGETHER, 1213 00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:11,200 BUT I'M NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND. NO DINNERS, VALENTINES." 1214 00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:13,100 SHE CAN FIND SOME OTHER SUCKER FOR THAT. 1215 00:52:13,100 --> 00:52:15,700 HUH? I MEAN, I'M SORRY, MAN. 1216 00:52:15,700 --> 00:52:17,300 THIS CANDY BAR IS KICKING IN, MAN. 1217 00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,300 I KNOW WE WAS TALKING ABOUT FRUITS EARLIER, RIGHT? 1218 00:52:19,300 --> 00:52:22,100 I'M SORRY, MAN. YOU TAPE-RECORDED IT? 1219 00:52:22,100 --> 00:52:23,800 OH, NO, THAT WAS ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER. 1220 00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:27,400 I'LL REMEMBER FOR REAL, I'M SORRY. 1221 00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,200 Woman: ? FOR YOU 1222 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:33,400 ? I'D TRAVEL 1223 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,400 ? AROUND THE WORLD 1224 00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:42,700 ? FOR YOU 1225 00:52:42,700 --> 00:52:44,700 ? I'D DO 1226 00:52:44,700 --> 00:52:47,200 ? ANYTHING 1227 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:49,500 ? 'CAUSE YOU 1228 00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:52,400 ? ARE EVERYTHING 1229 00:52:56,600 --> 00:53:00,600 ? THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ? 1230 00:53:03,400 --> 00:53:07,200 ? THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ? 1231 00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:14,200 ? THE FEELING IS LOVE, THE FEELING IS LOVE ? 1232 00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,600 ? WHEN YOU'RE AROUND, WHEN YOU'RE AROUND ? 1233 00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:20,200 ? THE FEELING IS LOVE 1234 00:53:53,500 --> 00:53:57,500 HEY, HUN, I'M GONNA SPLIT. I'M REALLY HORNY. 1235 00:53:57,500 --> 00:54:00,600 DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM! 1236 00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:01,900 DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT ELLE SAID? 1237 00:54:01,900 --> 00:54:05,600 YEAH. ELLE IS A TOTAL DRAMA QUEEN. 1238 00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:09,200 I MEAN, LOOK, HE'S REALLY NICE... 1239 00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,600 AND FUNNY. 1240 00:54:11,600 --> 00:54:13,900 WELL, I DON'T WANT TO GO HOME YET. 1241 00:54:13,900 --> 00:54:16,400 AND HE IS KIND OF CUTE. 1242 00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:19,400 SEE? YOU ARE GONNA BE FINE. 1243 00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:21,400 I JUST HOPE HE'S NOT AN ASSHOLE. 1244 00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,900 YO, MAN, YOU WANNA GO TO THIS PARTY LATER? 1245 00:54:23,900 --> 00:54:26,600 NO. IT'S GONNA SUCK. IT'S JONZO'S PLACE, MAN. 1246 00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:28,700 YO, I'M GOING HOME TO GET SOME ASS. 1247 00:54:28,700 --> 00:54:31,400 YOU SHOULD TAKE HER. SHE'S BANGING. 1248 00:54:31,400 --> 00:54:33,300 MAYBE I WILL. 1249 00:54:41,700 --> 00:54:43,400 I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW 1250 00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:45,500 THAT WE'RE GOING TO THIS PARTY JUST AS FRIENDS. 1251 00:54:45,500 --> 00:54:51,400 WELL, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE'RE SPLITTING THIS CAB FARE...JUST AS FRIENDS. 1252 00:54:51,400 --> 00:54:57,400 I DON'T HAVE ANY CASH ON ME. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE? 1253 00:54:57,400 --> 00:54:58,500 ( humming ) 1254 00:54:58,500 --> 00:54:59,500 ( deep breathing ) 1255 00:54:59,500 --> 00:55:00,700 ( moaning ) 1256 00:55:01,900 --> 00:55:05,300 COURTNEY, I AM YOUR FATHER. 1257 00:55:05,300 --> 00:55:06,800 EW, GROSS. 1258 00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,800 ( laughing ) NO, BABE, IT'S JUST ME. 1259 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,300 NO, NO, NO. YOU HAVE TO BE THE HELPLESS PRINCESS, REMEMBER? 1260 00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,500 YEAH, CAN YOU MAKE THAT THING VIBRATE? 1261 00:55:13,500 --> 00:55:16,400 UM, SHOOT, I DON'T THINK SO. 1262 00:55:16,400 --> 00:55:18,800 I THINK THAT'S ONLY THE DELUXE EDITION. 1263 00:55:18,800 --> 00:55:21,000 YEAH. 1264 00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:24,700 Johnny: USE HER ADDICTIONS AGAINST HER. 1265 00:55:24,700 --> 00:55:26,500 GO AHEAD, FUCK WITH THAT ONE, TOO. 1266 00:55:26,500 --> 00:55:27,900 ALL RIGHT. 1267 00:55:27,900 --> 00:55:29,800 Johnny: OWN YOUR INNER PIG. 1268 00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,300 HERE YOU GO. 1269 00:55:31,300 --> 00:55:33,600 NO, I'M GOOD. I'VE GOT A DEADLINE. 1270 00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:37,000 I COULD REALLY USE TOMORROW TO CATCH UP. SO... 1271 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,300 ARE YOU FOR REAL? I MEAN, I JUST GOT HIGH. 1272 00:55:40,300 --> 00:55:43,600 IF YOU LIKE, I CAN BLOW EVERYTHING OFF THAT I GOT TO DO TOMORROW, 1273 00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:48,500 AND WE CAN HAVE SOME FUN, BUT I GOTTA LET YOU KNOW THAT AT SOME POINT, 1274 00:55:48,500 --> 00:55:51,100 WE'RE PROBABLY GOING TO BE HIGH AND DRUNK AND IN MY BED, 1275 00:55:51,100 --> 00:55:54,100 AND I'M GOING TO NEED TO BUST A NUT. NEED TO? 1276 00:55:54,100 --> 00:55:58,100 YEAH. I MEAN, I'M SORRY FOR BEING SO HONEST AND OPEN ABOUT IT, 1277 00:55:58,100 --> 00:56:01,700 BUT IF YOU DON'T LIKE THAT, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD MEET FOR COFFEE SOMETIME 1278 00:56:01,700 --> 00:56:04,800 AND REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER, TAKE IT NICE AND SLOW... 1279 00:56:04,800 --> 00:56:06,600 FINE. 1280 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,500 FINE FOR THE NUTBUSTING? 1281 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,700 WHATEVER. 1282 00:56:11,700 --> 00:56:14,900 JUST FILL UP MY DRINK, PLEASE. 1283 00:56:14,900 --> 00:56:17,800 DID YOU KNOW THAT WHEN A MAN ORGASMS 1284 00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:23,500 IT RELEASES A CHEMICAL THAT'S 20 TIMES STRONGER THAN A NORMAL SLEEPING PILL? 1285 00:56:25,500 --> 00:56:27,700 THIS IS SOME LADY AND THE TRAMP SHIT RIGHT HERE. 1286 00:56:27,700 --> 00:56:29,600 ( laughing ) 1287 00:56:35,700 --> 00:56:40,500 I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE. YOU'VE BEEN FLAGGED ON THE DATERBASE. 1288 00:56:40,500 --> 00:56:43,500 NOBODY HAS TO KNOW. WHAT'S A DATERBASE? 1289 00:56:43,500 --> 00:56:46,100 JUST SHUT UP AND KISS ME. 1290 00:56:46,100 --> 00:56:48,900 OH, YEAH. OH. OH, YEAH. 1291 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:54,100 ( crickets chirping, owl hooting ) 1292 00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,600 BABE, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT OUTFIT? 1293 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,400 THANK YOU. IT'S MY APRON. 1294 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:03,900 I WORE IT UNDER MY DRESS LAST NIGHT 1295 00:57:03,900 --> 00:57:07,500 SO I COULD COOK YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING. 1296 00:57:07,500 --> 00:57:10,900 AH, I AM TAKING YOU OUT. BABY, DO YOU WANNA GO TO THE ZOO? 1297 00:57:10,900 --> 00:57:15,400 YES! I LOVE THE ZOO. ANIMALS ARE MY FAVORITE. 1298 00:57:15,400 --> 00:57:17,800 OH, ME TOO. THAT'S PERFECT. IT'S A DONE DEAL. WE'RE DOING IT. 1299 00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:19,900 UM, BABE, CHECK OUT MY... 1300 00:57:19,900 --> 00:57:21,800 TROUSER ELEPHANT. 1301 00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:23,800 HA HA HA. 1302 00:57:23,800 --> 00:57:26,700 DO YOU WANT ME TO COME PULL ITS TRUNK? 1303 00:57:27,700 --> 00:57:29,400 ( elephant trumpets ) 1304 00:57:30,700 --> 00:57:32,900 SO...YOU GONNA TAKE ME TO BREAKFAST? 1305 00:57:32,900 --> 00:57:35,600 ( laughs ) BREAKFAST?! AIN'T NO BREAKFAST, BABY. 1306 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:38,700 I DON'T ROLL LIKE THAT. YOU HAD FUN LAST NIGHT, RIGHT? 1307 00:57:38,700 --> 00:57:40,800 YEAH. EVENTUALLY. 1308 00:57:40,800 --> 00:57:43,900 HEY, THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PERFORMANCE. THAT WAS THE COKE. 1309 00:57:43,900 --> 00:57:46,800 ANYWAYS, IF WANT SOMEBODY TO TAKE YOU OUT TO DINNER ALL THE TIME 1310 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:48,600 AND CALL YOU UP EVERY DAY, 1311 00:57:48,600 --> 00:57:51,000 THAT AIN'T ME. THAT'S BOYFRIEND TERRITORY. 1312 00:57:51,000 --> 00:57:53,800 LOOK, I'M JUST HUNGRY. 1313 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:55,900 YOU DON'T GOTTA BE SUCH AN ASSHOLE. 1314 00:57:55,900 --> 00:57:58,600 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO SOME ASSHOLE SCHOOL OR SOMETHING. 1315 00:57:58,700 --> 00:57:59,900 PSHH. WHATEVER. 1316 00:57:59,900 --> 00:58:01,700 DICK. 1317 00:58:01,700 --> 00:58:03,600 Johnny: IF SHE'S ASKING FOR TOO MUCH CAB FARE, 1318 00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:05,500 TAKE A TWENTY OUT OF HER PURSE WHILE SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM 1319 00:58:05,500 --> 00:58:07,000 AND GIVE IT TO HER. 1320 00:58:07,000 --> 00:58:09,700 IT'S NOT STEALING IF YOU GIVE IT BACK. 1321 00:58:09,700 --> 00:58:11,600 DUDE, THIS STUFF IS GOLD! 1322 00:58:11,600 --> 00:58:14,000 HEY, AARON, THOUGHT YOU'D BE MARRIED OFF BY NOW. 1323 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,900 UM, SHE'S A GOOD GIRL. IT COULD HAPPEN. 1324 00:58:15,900 --> 00:58:18,100 UH, JUST KEEPING MY OPTIONS OPEN FOR NOW. 1325 00:58:18,100 --> 00:58:19,600 YEAH, WHAT ABOUT YOU, MAX? HOW'S IT GOING? 1326 00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,100 OH, MAN, SHIT WENT PERFECT, YO. 1327 00:58:22,100 --> 00:58:23,600 IT'S JUST ONE THING, THOUGH, MAN... 1328 00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:24,900 SO WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? 1329 00:58:24,900 --> 00:58:27,000 WITH THE COKE AND THE CONDOMS, MAN... 1330 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,600 I KIND OF HAD A LITTLE BIT OF PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. 1331 00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:33,600 REALLY? WHAT, ARE YOU GAY NOW? 1332 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:37,600 ALL YOU NEED IS... ONE OF THESE. 1333 00:58:39,100 --> 00:58:41,100 WHAT'S THAT, MAN? 1334 00:58:41,100 --> 00:58:45,500 UGH. DUDE, WHY'S IT ALL SLIPPERY? WHAT IS THAT? 1335 00:58:45,500 --> 00:58:47,500 THAT'S JUST LUBE. IT'S MY COCK RING. 1336 00:58:47,500 --> 00:58:49,700 OHH! WHAT THE FUCK! ARE YOU KIDDING? 1337 00:58:49,700 --> 00:58:52,700 GUYS, I'M TELLING YOU, NO MATTER WHAT STATE I'M IN, 1338 00:58:52,700 --> 00:58:56,600 IT KEEPS ME TURGID, AND IT ALWAYS, ALWAYS GET'S ME OFF. 1339 00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:58,700 YO, I PUT THAT SHIT ON MY NOSE, YO! 1340 00:58:58,700 --> 00:59:00,100 AND WHAT THE FUCK IS "TURGID"? 1341 00:59:00,100 --> 00:59:02,200 "TURGID" MEANS HARD. HOW DUMB ARE YOU? 1342 00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,600 OH, I'M GONNA USE THAT SHIT. "GIRL, YOU GOT MY DICK TURGID." 1343 00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:07,700 AND I KNOW WITH ALL THE ALCOHOL AND THE DRUGS, 1344 00:59:07,700 --> 00:59:11,800 SOMETIMES IT'S A LITTLE TOUGH, SO I ALWAYS KEEP ONE OF THESE BABIES AROUND. 1345 00:59:11,800 --> 00:59:13,800 THOSE ARE LIKE 50 BUCKS EACH. EVERY TIME? 1346 00:59:13,800 --> 00:59:15,700 JESUS, FUCKFACE. 1347 00:59:15,700 --> 00:59:19,500 LOOK, YOU GENTLY TAKE IT OUT OF THE BOX, YOU CAREFULLY CUT IT OPEN. 1348 00:59:19,500 --> 00:59:22,700 EVERY TIME YOU USE IT, YOU PUT IT IN THE DISHWASHER, GOOD AS NEW. 1349 00:59:22,700 --> 00:59:24,000 OH, YEAH. ECONOMICAL. 1350 00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:25,800 YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT CONDOMS? 1351 00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:27,500 MAN, I HATE CONDOMS, MAN. 1352 00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:30,200 IT'S LIKE EATING A SNICKERS WITH THE WRAPPER ON. 1353 00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,200 LOOK, THE FIRST COUPLE OF TIMES YOU KIND OF HAVE TO, BOYS. 1354 00:59:32,200 --> 00:59:34,100 FUCK THAT. JUST DO WHAT I DO. 1355 00:59:34,100 --> 00:59:37,000 YOU CUT A HOLE RIGHT IN THE TIP OF THE CONDOM, RIGHT? 1356 00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,900 JUST LIKE THAT. 1357 00:59:38,900 --> 00:59:41,100 AND IT WEARS AWAY AS YOU GET GOING, THEN IT BREAKS. 1358 00:59:41,100 --> 00:59:43,000 THE BEAUTY OF IT IS, WHEN SHE LOOKS DOWN, 1359 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:44,800 IT STILL LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE WEARING ONE. 1360 00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,000 I JUST TOLD HER IT RIPPED BECAUSE MY DICK'S TOO BIG. 1361 00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:52,200 DUDE, THAT IS FUCKED UP ON SO MANY LEVELS, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 1362 00:59:52,200 --> 00:59:53,800 WHAT? 1363 00:59:53,800 --> 00:59:55,200 "WHAT?" 1364 00:59:55,200 --> 00:59:57,200 LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 1365 00:59:57,200 --> 00:59:59,800 ONE IN FOUR PEOPLE HAVE HERPES. 1366 00:59:59,800 --> 01:00:02,200 ONE IN FOUR WARTS. 1367 01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:06,900 THROW IN CHLAMYDIA, CRABS, U.T.I., 1368 01:00:06,900 --> 01:00:10,600 THEN YOU RAMP IT UP BECAUSE WE'RE IN HOLLYWOOD... 1369 01:00:10,600 --> 01:00:12,100 AND THE CHANCES THAT ONE OF THESE CHICKS 1370 01:00:12,100 --> 01:00:16,800 THAT YOU GUYS ARE TAKING HOME HAS "SOMETHING" IS ABOUT... 1371 01:00:20,300 --> 01:00:21,800 72%. 1372 01:00:25,300 --> 01:00:27,300 GRETCHEN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 1373 01:00:27,300 --> 01:00:31,000 OH, I'M PUTTING A FABRIC SOFTENER SHEET DOWN MY PANTS 1374 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:34,100 SO LATER TONIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY JEANS OFF, 1375 01:00:34,100 --> 01:00:36,000 IT'LL BE NICE AND FRESH DOWN THERE. 1376 01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:37,600 THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. 1377 01:00:37,600 --> 01:00:38,800 RIGHT? 1378 01:00:38,800 --> 01:00:40,700 DOES THAT MAKE YOUR SKIN SOFT? 1379 01:00:40,700 --> 01:00:43,800 OH, GOD, I HOPE IT DOESN'T MAKE HIS DICK SOFTER! UGH! 1380 01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:45,800 I GOT A DATE TONIGHT. LET ME TRY SOME OF THAT. 1381 01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:47,600 SO ARE YOU GIRLS ALL SET FOR THE INITIATION? 1382 01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,200 YEAH, WE ARE. 1383 01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:53,000 YEAH. OH. CAN I STILL JOIN IF I HAVE GOT A BOYFRIEND? 1384 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:56,600 HE BETTER GO DOWNY ON ME AFTER ALL THAT TROUBLE! 1385 01:00:56,600 --> 01:00:58,600 NO. THAT DEFIES THE WHOLE POINT. 1386 01:00:58,600 --> 01:01:01,000 WELL, UNLESS YOU'RE USING HIM FOR SOMETHING. 1387 01:01:01,000 --> 01:01:04,200 I JUST LIKE HIM. I LIKE THE WAY HIS HAIR SMELLS, 1388 01:01:04,200 --> 01:01:08,300 I LIKE HIS SMILE, I LIKE WAKING UP NEXT TO HIM, I LIKE HIS COCK. 1389 01:01:08,300 --> 01:01:10,800 COURTNEY, COURTNEY, YOU CANNOT SEE THIS GUY ANYMORE. 1390 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,100 WHAT? WHY? 1391 01:01:12,100 --> 01:01:14,000 BECAUSE HE WILL DICK YOU OVER. 1392 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,200 WE JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WE MADE. 1393 01:01:16,200 --> 01:01:19,000 IF IT'S SEX YOU WANT, WE'LL FIND A GUY FOR YOU. 1394 01:01:19,000 --> 01:01:21,800 WHAT DO YOU WANT, DO YOU WANT A NERD, DO YOU WANT A BAD BOY? 1395 01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:23,100 WHAT, AND I JUST FUCK THEM? 1396 01:01:23,100 --> 01:01:25,000 FIRST, YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO HIM 1397 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,700 THAT HE CAN'T CALL YOU AFTERWARDS, 1398 01:01:26,700 --> 01:01:28,300 AND IF HE SEES YOU OUT SOMEWHERE, 1399 01:01:28,300 --> 01:01:30,200 HE'S GOTTA WALK IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. 1400 01:01:30,200 --> 01:01:33,700 THAT'S CRAZY. I REALLY, REALLY LIKE THIS GUY. 1401 01:01:33,700 --> 01:01:35,300 I KNOW, BUT IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD. 1402 01:01:35,300 --> 01:01:37,000 NOW, YVONNE, 1403 01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,900 DID THE DOCTOR SET A DATE FOR YOUR IMPROVEMENTS YET? 1404 01:01:38,900 --> 01:01:40,300 YEAH. THREE WEEKS. 1405 01:01:40,300 --> 01:01:41,900 I KNEW HE WOULD DRAG IT OUT A BIT. 1406 01:01:41,900 --> 01:01:43,300 A FEW DAYS IN OUTPATIENT, 1407 01:01:43,300 --> 01:01:44,800 AND YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO SEE HIM AGAIN! 1408 01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:45,900 RIGHT ON. 1409 01:02:04,300 --> 01:02:05,700 ( knock on door ) 1410 01:02:07,800 --> 01:02:09,000 HEY. 1411 01:02:09,900 --> 01:02:12,700 AH-AH-AH. 1412 01:02:12,700 --> 01:02:14,200 ( sighs ) 1413 01:02:26,200 --> 01:02:27,500 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE BY YOURSELF? 1414 01:02:27,500 --> 01:02:29,700 OH, MY GOD, YOU REMIND ME OF BEETLEJUICE. 1415 01:02:29,700 --> 01:02:31,200 REMEMBER THOSE LEGS THAT WAS SITTING BY THEMSELVES? 1416 01:02:31,200 --> 01:02:32,300 I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! 1417 01:02:32,300 --> 01:02:33,800 WHERE YOU KNOW ME FROM? 1418 01:02:33,800 --> 01:02:36,400 DISHONORABLE DISCHARGE. NASTY. 1419 01:02:36,400 --> 01:02:38,100 MAN, WHAT? MAN, THIS LOOKS LIKE SOME-- 1420 01:02:38,100 --> 01:02:40,300 HEY, THIS AIN'T EVEN TRUE. THEY TRYING TO SET ME UP. 1421 01:02:40,300 --> 01:02:43,900 THEY TRYING TO SAY I DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED, BUT THAT EVEN TRUE. 1422 01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:49,300 OHH! 1423 01:02:49,300 --> 01:02:50,300 OH, FUCK! 1424 01:02:50,300 --> 01:02:52,000 OH, SHIT. OH, MAN, SORRY, MAN. 1425 01:02:52,000 --> 01:02:53,300 FUCK. 1426 01:02:53,300 --> 01:02:55,300 I KNOW THAT GUY. 1427 01:02:57,900 --> 01:02:59,700 DID YOU DO SOME? 1428 01:02:59,800 --> 01:03:01,900 NO. HE JUST CAME BY TONIGHT. 1429 01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:03,400 THERE'S NOTHING IN HERE. 1430 01:03:03,400 --> 01:03:05,000 I KNOW. 1431 01:03:05,000 --> 01:03:06,200 ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH HIM? 1432 01:03:06,200 --> 01:03:08,100 NO. 1433 01:03:08,100 --> 01:03:10,900 I JUST GET SO HORNY. 1434 01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:13,800 WE ALL GET A LITTLE BIT HORMONAL SOMETIMES, 1435 01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:16,400 BUT, NEXT TIME, SPECIFY AN AMOUNT, 1436 01:03:16,400 --> 01:03:20,700 OR HE'S GONNA HAVE YOU WHORING YOURSELF OUT FOR LITTLE KIBBLES, OKAY? 1437 01:03:20,700 --> 01:03:22,100 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1438 01:03:22,100 --> 01:03:25,500 WENDY, CAN I TALK TO YOU A LITTLE BIT LATER? 1439 01:03:25,500 --> 01:03:28,000 OKAY. 1440 01:03:28,000 --> 01:03:29,800 ( sighs ) 1441 01:03:30,900 --> 01:03:34,000 OKAY, LADIES, AS YOU KNOW, 1442 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:38,500 YVONNE WILL BE GETTING HER ENHANCEMENTS THIS WEEK, THUS ELIGIBLE FOR MEMBERSHIP. 1443 01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:40,200 ( cheering ) 1444 01:03:40,200 --> 01:03:42,000 WHAT DAY, YVONNE? 1445 01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:44,900 HE SAYS I GO IN ON FRIDAY, AND I'LL BE OUT BY SATURDAY. 1446 01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:47,100 SO SATURDAY NIGHT. DOES THAT WORK FOR EVERYONE? 1447 01:03:47,100 --> 01:03:48,300 YEAH. YES. YES. 1448 01:03:48,300 --> 01:03:49,800 OOH OOH! 1449 01:04:00,400 --> 01:04:05,200 15 SECONDS. EXCELLENT WORK, MAX. CONGRATS ALL AROUND. 1450 01:04:05,200 --> 01:04:08,200 IT'S NICE TO SEE YOUR STABLES DEVELOPING. I'M UP TO FOUR NOW. 1451 01:04:08,200 --> 01:04:10,500 YOU STILL TAKING DRUGS TO THAT STRIPPER CHICK? YUP. 1452 01:04:10,500 --> 01:04:13,100 SHE'S FUCKING YOU NOW RIGHT? LIKE I'M JOHNNY DEPP. 1453 01:04:13,100 --> 01:04:16,300 NICE. AND NOW CAN BRING AS MUCH OR AS LITTLE AS YOU LIKE. 1454 01:04:16,300 --> 01:04:18,000 DUDE, I'M GETTING LAID FOR DUB-SACKS! 1455 01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:19,000 SWEET! 1456 01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:21,800 UM, WHERE'S COURTNEY? 1457 01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:23,500 SHE SAID SHE CAN'T COME ANYMORE. 1458 01:04:23,500 --> 01:04:25,200 WHY NOT? 1459 01:04:25,200 --> 01:04:27,300 BECAUSE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND NOW, 1460 01:04:27,300 --> 01:04:30,800 AND SHE SAID IT WOULD BE UNFAIR TO COME TO A MAN-HATING GROUP. 1461 01:04:30,800 --> 01:04:32,500 WHAT? WHAT? WHATEVER. 1462 01:04:32,500 --> 01:04:34,400 WE DON'T HATE MEN. 1463 01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,200 WE JUST KEEP THEM ON TASK, SWEETIE. 1464 01:04:36,200 --> 01:04:37,400 SO WHAT ABOUT YOU, AARON? 1465 01:04:37,400 --> 01:04:39,000 I'VE BEEN DABBLING, 1466 01:04:39,100 --> 01:04:40,900 BUT THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE GIRL FOR ME. 1467 01:04:40,900 --> 01:04:42,500 YEAH, WHEN SHE'S IN TOWN. 1468 01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:43,500 OH! OH HO HO! 1469 01:04:43,500 --> 01:04:44,900 WHAT? 1470 01:04:44,900 --> 01:04:46,100 IT'S THAT COURTNEY AGAIN, RIGHT? 1471 01:04:46,100 --> 01:04:47,200 YEAH. 1472 01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:49,000 DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT YOUR OTHER CHICKS? 1473 01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:51,900 UH, THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I LIKE TO BRING UP. 1474 01:04:51,900 --> 01:04:53,100 YEAH, BUT YOU'RE ROTATING HER, RIGHT? 1475 01:04:53,100 --> 01:04:54,600 WHAT? 1476 01:04:54,600 --> 01:04:56,500 HOW OFTEN DO YOU SEE HER? 1477 01:04:56,500 --> 01:04:58,900 I DON'T KNOW, LIKE TWO, THREE, FOUR TIMES A WEEK. 1478 01:04:58,900 --> 01:05:01,300 AARON, YOU HAVE TO ROTATE THEM. 1479 01:05:01,300 --> 01:05:03,000 SHE'LL BE BACK. 1480 01:05:03,000 --> 01:05:05,000 I HOPE SO. I REALLY LIKED HER. 1481 01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:06,100 I REALLY LIKED HER, TOO. 1482 01:05:06,100 --> 01:05:07,600 I THINK SHE'S REALLY INTO HIM. 1483 01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:10,200 AARON, RIGHT? SHORT, DUMB-LOOKING? 1484 01:05:10,200 --> 01:05:11,500 ( laughter ) 1485 01:05:11,500 --> 01:05:14,100 THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS, HE'S A MAN, 1486 01:05:14,100 --> 01:05:15,600 AND HE'S HARDWIRED TO CHEAT. 1487 01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:17,500 OH, I THINK HE ALREADY DID. 1488 01:05:17,500 --> 01:05:19,300 WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? 1489 01:05:19,300 --> 01:05:22,200 I SAW LAST WEEK HIM AT A PARTY ALL OVER SOME UGLY-ASS GIRL. 1490 01:05:22,200 --> 01:05:24,600 LAST SATURDAY AT ROSS'S? YEAH. 1491 01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:27,900 WAS THAT GUY MAX THERE? YEAH. 1492 01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:29,100 ( warbling sounds ) 1493 01:05:29,100 --> 01:05:31,000 MY EARRING COLLECTION IS GROWING DAILY. 1494 01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:33,300 AH, YES. THE "LEAVE BEHIND." 1495 01:05:33,300 --> 01:05:35,500 DO THEY MEAN TO LEAVE THIS SHIT AT YOUR APARTMENT 1496 01:05:35,500 --> 01:05:38,300 OR ARE THEY JUST TOO HUNGOVER TO REMEMBER? WHO KNOWS? 1497 01:05:38,300 --> 01:05:43,300 IT'S LIKE HOW DO THEY NOT KNOW THAT THEY LEAVE NOT WEARING THEIR OWN PANTIES? 1498 01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:45,000 THAT SHIT IS DUMB! 1499 01:05:45,000 --> 01:05:47,400 LET ME SEE THIS HAIRCLIP. WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? 1500 01:05:47,400 --> 01:05:50,300 I NEEDED IT ONE MORNING, AND THE GUY I WAS WITH GAVE IT TO ME. 1501 01:05:50,300 --> 01:05:51,500 MAX? 1502 01:05:51,500 --> 01:05:53,500 THE GUY THAT JIZZED ON ME? YEAH. 1503 01:05:53,500 --> 01:05:56,100 THIS IS MY HAIRCLIP. I WAS WITH HIM LAST WEEK. 1504 01:05:56,100 --> 01:05:57,400 YOU'VE BEEN HANGING OUT WITH HIM? 1505 01:05:57,400 --> 01:05:58,900 WE JUST HOOKED UP A COUPLE OF TIMES. 1506 01:05:58,900 --> 01:06:00,300 I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE SEEING HIM. 1507 01:06:00,300 --> 01:06:02,000 I TOLD YOU THAT I LIKED HIM. 1508 01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,500 WHATEVER. NOW YOU OWN HIM. 1509 01:06:03,500 --> 01:06:06,200 JASMINE! YVONNE! JASMINE! YVONNE! 1510 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:07,500 WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? 1511 01:06:07,500 --> 01:06:09,300 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IS GOING ON? 1512 01:06:09,300 --> 01:06:12,600 WAIT A MINUTE. IS THIS THE MAX THAT ELLE FLAGGED? 1513 01:06:12,600 --> 01:06:13,600 Elle: THAT ASSHOLE?! 1514 01:06:13,600 --> 01:06:15,200 THIS IS FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS! 1515 01:06:15,200 --> 01:06:17,000 WHY DO WE EVEN KEEP A DATERBASE 1516 01:06:17,000 --> 01:06:18,200 IF YOU GUYS CAN'T EVEN FOLLOW IT? 1517 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:19,500 THE WHOLE POINT OF THE T.O.B. CLUB 1518 01:06:19,500 --> 01:06:21,900 IS FOR SHIT LIKE THIS NOT TO HAPPEN. 1519 01:06:21,900 --> 01:06:24,500 COURTNEY'S DUDE IS CHEATING ON HER. 1520 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:26,400 YOU'RE GETTING RIPPED OFF BY YOUR COKE GUY, 1521 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,100 AND THE TWO OF YOU 1522 01:06:28,100 --> 01:06:30,300 ARE IN SOME SORT OF T.O.B. CERTIFIED SCUMBAG'S STABLE. 1523 01:06:30,300 --> 01:06:31,500 SCUM! 1524 01:06:31,500 --> 01:06:33,200 WE HAVE STABLES. 1525 01:06:33,200 --> 01:06:36,600 THAT'S WHY THEY'RE CALLED STABLE BOYS, OKAY? 1526 01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:40,100 THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS. COULD ANYTHING ELSE GO WRONG? 1527 01:06:40,100 --> 01:06:41,200 ( crying ) I'M PREGNANT! 1528 01:06:41,200 --> 01:06:43,000 OH, SWEETIE! 1529 01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,000 IT'S OKAY. 1530 01:06:45,000 --> 01:06:46,200 ARE YOU GONNA HAVE IT? 1531 01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:48,200 I DON'T THINK SO. 1532 01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,700 GOOD. GOOD. 1533 01:06:49,700 --> 01:06:53,100 DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING. 1534 01:06:53,100 --> 01:06:55,300 REALLY? YEAH. 1535 01:06:55,300 --> 01:06:57,400 WE'LL FIX ALL OF THIS TOGETHER. 1536 01:06:57,400 --> 01:07:01,200 NOW, HOW MANY MEN HAVE YOU BEEN SLEEPING WITH? TWO OR THREE. 1537 01:07:01,200 --> 01:07:05,000 GRETCHEN. NOT IN THE LAST WEEK, GRETCHEN, 1538 01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:06,400 THE LAST THREE MONTHS? 1539 01:07:06,400 --> 01:07:11,100 MAYBE SEVEN OR EIGHT. OH, PLUS THE DRUG GUY. 1540 01:07:11,100 --> 01:07:12,500 ARE YOU THINKING WHAT I'M THINKING? 1541 01:07:12,500 --> 01:07:15,400 Both: ABORTION EXTORTION. 1542 01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:20,100 "IN 1934, 1543 01:07:20,100 --> 01:07:23,100 "HITLER ELIMINATED ALL OF HIS OPPOSITION IN ONE NIGHT. 1544 01:07:23,100 --> 01:07:25,500 IT WAS CALLED 'THE NIGHT OF THE LONG KNIVES.'" 1545 01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:28,500 THIS FRIDAY, OUR TIME WILL COME. 1546 01:07:28,500 --> 01:07:30,200 WE'RE GOING TO TEACH THESE CRETINS A LESSON 1547 01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:32,500 THEY'RE NEVER GONNA FORGET. YEAH, WE WILL. 1548 01:07:32,500 --> 01:07:34,400 THERE'S SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 1549 01:07:34,400 --> 01:07:36,800 WE MET ONE OF THESE PESTS THREE MONTHS AGO 1550 01:07:36,800 --> 01:07:38,000 WHEN WE GOT THOSE T-SHIRTS MADE, 1551 01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:39,600 AND HE WAS A BIG FAT LOSER. 1552 01:07:39,600 --> 01:07:43,500 NOW HIM AND HIS BUDDIES ARE WREAKING HAVOC ON US! HOW? 1553 01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:48,200 YES, IT FEELS LIKE SOMEBODY ELSE IS BEHIND THIS. 1554 01:07:48,200 --> 01:07:49,400 ANOTHER GIRL GANG? 1555 01:07:49,400 --> 01:07:51,300 ( gasps ) THE ECHO PARK PUTAS? 1556 01:07:51,300 --> 01:07:52,500 SILVERLAKE SKANKS? 1557 01:07:52,500 --> 01:07:53,700 THE THREE ONE HOES? 1558 01:07:53,700 --> 01:07:55,500 THE LOS FELIZ LESBOS? 1559 01:07:55,500 --> 01:07:59,100 WHO KNOWS? BUT BY SACRIFICING ONE OF OUR OWN, 1560 01:07:59,100 --> 01:08:02,300 THEY'LL GET THE MESSAGE THAT WE WE'RE NOT PLAYING AROUND. 1561 01:08:02,300 --> 01:08:07,600 SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR. 1562 01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:10,200 IS IT A MAN, A PLAYER OUT FOR REVENGE? 1563 01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:14,800 SLICE, GRETCHEN, ELLE, I WANT YOU TO HIT THE STREETS. 1564 01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:17,100 TALK TO YOUR PEOPLE, BUST SOME BALLS... 1565 01:08:17,100 --> 01:08:18,800 SUCK THEM IF YOU HAVE TO, 1566 01:08:18,800 --> 01:08:21,300 BUT FIND OUT WHO IS PULLING THE STRINGS. 1567 01:08:21,300 --> 01:08:22,800 WE WILL. GOOD. 1568 01:08:22,800 --> 01:08:24,200 THEN TASSELING IN, NEXT SATURDAY, 1569 01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,500 YVONNE WILL GET HER BOOBS, 1570 01:08:26,500 --> 01:08:28,600 COURTNEY WILL BE BACK IN THE GANG, 1571 01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,500 AND THESE FOOLS WILL RUE THE DAY THAT THEY CROSSED US. 1572 01:08:31,500 --> 01:08:32,700 YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! 1573 01:08:32,700 --> 01:08:34,200 NIGHT OF THE LONG NAILS. 1574 01:08:34,200 --> 01:08:36,500 ( cheering ) 1575 01:08:38,200 --> 01:08:41,500 WHY ARE WE DRINKING BRANDY? 1576 01:08:41,500 --> 01:08:43,700 'CAUSE CHURCHILL USED TO DRINK IT. 1577 01:08:43,700 --> 01:08:47,600 OH, YEAH. THAT JAMAICAN GUY YOU USED TO DATE. HE WAS SO HOT. 1578 01:08:47,600 --> 01:08:49,100 LOVED HIM. 1579 01:08:49,100 --> 01:08:50,300 THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1580 01:08:50,300 --> 01:08:53,200 AND? LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS THAT IT WORKS, 1581 01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:54,800 AND YOUR CLIENTS LOVE IT, RIGHT? 1582 01:08:54,800 --> 01:08:57,400 THEY'RE PATIENTS. 1583 01:08:57,400 --> 01:09:01,500 YES, THE RESULTS ARE IMPRESSIVE. 1584 01:09:01,500 --> 01:09:03,500 THANK YOU. 1585 01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:07,100 BUT BEFORE YOU GO, YOU'RE A BIT OF LADIES MAN, RIGHT? 1586 01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:08,400 YEAH, I HAVE MY MOMENTS. 1587 01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:10,500 I HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM HERE. 1588 01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:14,100 EVERY NOW AND THEN I MEET A GIRL THAT I LIKE, 1589 01:09:14,100 --> 01:09:16,500 ONE THAT SEEMS ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, 1590 01:09:16,500 --> 01:09:19,400 THEN I DO SOME WORK ON HER, AND SHE DISAPPEARS. 1591 01:09:19,400 --> 01:09:22,200 MM-HMM. SO YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING PLAYED? 1592 01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:25,600 NOT SURE, BUT THERE IS THIS ONE GIRL... 1593 01:09:25,600 --> 01:09:29,300 SHE'S VERY NICE TO ME. TOO NICE. 1594 01:09:29,300 --> 01:09:32,200 ALL RIGHT, WELL, HERE'S WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO... 1595 01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,700 IT IS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. 1596 01:09:36,700 --> 01:09:38,400 OH, IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU, TOO, BABY. 1597 01:09:38,400 --> 01:09:40,300 YOU'RE HUNGRY RIGHT? 1598 01:09:40,400 --> 01:09:42,800 I AM STARVING. I LOVE THIS PLACE. 1599 01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,600 I AM SO HAPPY THAT YOU PICKED IT. 1600 01:09:44,600 --> 01:09:46,600 WE ALL REALLY MISS YOU AT THE MEETINGS. 1601 01:09:46,600 --> 01:09:49,400 OH, MY GOD, I MISS YOU GUYS, TOO! 1602 01:09:51,500 --> 01:09:52,800 STOP. 1603 01:09:52,800 --> 01:09:54,800 NOW THERE'S AN ARMY OF TWO. 1604 01:09:54,800 --> 01:09:57,900 TAKE CARE OF THEM, SUGAR. OKAY. 1605 01:09:57,900 --> 01:10:00,700 AND YOU, LET'S SEE THOSE PRIVATES ON PARADE. 1606 01:10:00,700 --> 01:10:02,900 I LIKE HOW YOU'RE SHOWCASING THAT PUSSY. 1607 01:10:02,900 --> 01:10:04,900 LOOKIN' GOOD. ( spanks ) 1608 01:10:04,900 --> 01:10:09,400 WHOA. THAT SKIRT'S WAY TOO LONG. 1609 01:10:09,400 --> 01:10:11,400 COME ON. BE ALL YOU CAN BE. 1610 01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:14,300 LET'S SEE THESE. THE NIPPLES ARE JUST RIGHT AT THE EDGE. 1611 01:10:14,300 --> 01:10:16,600 GOOD, SHOW THOSE GIRLS OFF. 1612 01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:19,500 FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE. ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR MISSION? 1613 01:10:19,500 --> 01:10:20,500 DA, GRETCHEN. 1614 01:10:20,500 --> 01:10:22,400 HANDLE IT. 1615 01:10:22,400 --> 01:10:26,400 I SEE YOU BROUGHT OUT THE BIG GUNS. SHAKE THOSE BABIES. 1616 01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:30,300 SLICE MY GLAMAZON. TURN AROUND. 1617 01:10:30,300 --> 01:10:34,700 LET'S TIGHTEN UP THAT T-BACK. IT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE. 1618 01:10:36,700 --> 01:10:39,300 EXCELLENT JOB, GRETCHEN. 1619 01:10:39,300 --> 01:10:41,400 THANK YOU. LET ME SEE THOSE TEARS. 1620 01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:44,200 ( crying ) 1621 01:10:44,200 --> 01:10:45,200 TOO MUCH? 1622 01:10:45,200 --> 01:10:47,300 NO, EXCELLENT. 1623 01:10:47,300 --> 01:10:49,900 IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO TAKE CARE OF THIS COURTNEY SITUATION. 1624 01:10:49,900 --> 01:10:54,400 WENDY, YOU KNOW YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS, RIGHT? YOU'RE MY SISTERS. 1625 01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:56,800 I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO ANYTHING I WOULDN'T DO MYSELF. 1626 01:10:56,800 --> 01:10:59,600 THIS IS WAR... AND WE'RE THE SEX BOMBS. 1627 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:02,800 ( crying ) 1628 01:11:02,800 --> 01:11:05,400 I'M SORRY, ARE YOU OK? 1629 01:11:05,400 --> 01:11:09,500 NO. MY PHONE DIED, AND I REALLY NEED TO SEND AN EMAIL, 1630 01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:11,400 OR MY BOSS IS GONNA FIRE ME. 1631 01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:13,900 THAT'S OKAY. I LIVE RIGHT HERE. 1632 01:11:13,900 --> 01:11:15,400 YOU CAN TOTALLY USE MY COMPUTER. 1633 01:11:15,400 --> 01:11:16,700 REALLY? 1634 01:11:16,700 --> 01:11:17,700 OF COURSE. 1635 01:11:17,700 --> 01:11:20,500 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 1636 01:11:23,800 --> 01:11:25,700 REMEMBER WHEN YOU FIXED MY TRANSMISSION? 1637 01:11:25,700 --> 01:11:28,300 WELL, I'M PREGNANT. 1638 01:11:28,300 --> 01:11:30,000 I DON'T WANT A KID WITH YOU. 1639 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:31,400 ME NEITHER. 1640 01:11:31,400 --> 01:11:32,700 HI. 1641 01:11:32,700 --> 01:11:34,500 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? ARE YOU CRAZY? 1642 01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:37,400 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. MY WIFE IS UPSTAIRS. 1643 01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:40,000 WELL, I SUGGEST YOU TELL HER TO COME DOWN HERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT? 1644 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:42,300 I'M PREGNANT. SHH! 1645 01:11:42,300 --> 01:11:45,300 SO, ANYWAY, I NEED MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF THIS. 1646 01:11:45,300 --> 01:11:48,900 NO, NO, NO. YOU SAID TO ME THAT YOU ARE USING CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS. 1647 01:11:48,900 --> 01:11:52,600 UGH, AZIS, I TOLD YOU, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK ALL THE TIME. 1648 01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:54,800 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THAT'S NOT MY BABY. 1649 01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,800 I GOT SIX WHITE BITCHES ON DECK RIGHT NOW. 1650 01:11:56,800 --> 01:11:58,500 I GOT BABY MOMMA'S FROM HERE TO DETROIT. 1651 01:11:58,500 --> 01:11:59,500 YOU AIN'T SAYING NOTHING. 1652 01:11:59,500 --> 01:12:00,700 HOW MUCH TO SUCK IT OUT? 1653 01:12:00,700 --> 01:12:02,400 WANNA SPLIT IT? OKAY. 1654 01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:03,900 JONZO? YEAH? 1655 01:12:03,900 --> 01:12:06,400 JONZO, CAN I TALK TO YOU? WE'RE KIND OF BUSY HERE. 1656 01:12:06,400 --> 01:12:08,500 WELL, CAN YOU TAKE FIVE, 'CAUSE IT'S IMPORTANT. 1657 01:12:08,500 --> 01:12:09,900 WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF REHEARSAL. WHAT'S GOING ON? 1658 01:12:09,900 --> 01:12:11,000 DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER ME? 1659 01:12:11,000 --> 01:12:12,900 UM...YEAH. 1660 01:12:12,900 --> 01:12:14,900 THE BATHROOM AT THE BURGUNDY? 1661 01:12:14,900 --> 01:12:16,400 YEAH, THE FUCKING BATHROOM AT THE BURGUNDY. 1662 01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:17,800 I TOTALLY REMEMBER THAT. WHAT'S GOING ON? 1663 01:12:17,800 --> 01:12:19,400 I'M PREGNANT, THAT'S HOW I'M DOING. 1664 01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:21,500 PREGNANT? THIS IS GOOD NEWS. 1665 01:12:21,500 --> 01:12:23,000 THIS IS A GIFT FROM THE LORD. 1666 01:12:23,000 --> 01:12:24,900 NO, ACTUALLY, A GIFT FROM YOU. 1667 01:12:24,900 --> 01:12:28,400 $450. WELL, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1668 01:12:28,400 --> 01:12:31,600 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING, DO YOU THINK WE COULD WORK SOMETHING OUT? 1669 01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:34,400 450? MORE LIKE 199! 1670 01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:37,400 SHIT, YOU WANNA FUCK WITH MISS KIM RIGHT THERE ON CRENSHAW AND FLORENCE. 1671 01:12:37,400 --> 01:12:38,600 HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW IT'S MINE? 1672 01:12:38,600 --> 01:12:39,800 'CAUSE YOU CAME IN ME! 1673 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:41,700 I FUCKING REMEMBER THAT NIGHT. 1674 01:12:41,700 --> 01:12:43,700 I ASKED IF I COULD COME, YOU SAID YES, I COULD COME. 1675 01:12:43,700 --> 01:12:45,000 ON MY TITS! 1676 01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,300 FOUR HUNDRED AND FUCKING FIFTY DOLLARS! 1677 01:12:47,300 --> 01:12:48,600 I DON'T HAVE THAT MONEY ON ME. 1678 01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:50,000 YOU SHOULD SAY THAT. 1679 01:12:50,000 --> 01:12:51,600 WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT THAT? 1680 01:12:51,600 --> 01:12:53,400 SHE GOT THIS NAIL SALON OUT FRONT, RIGHT, 1681 01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:55,400 BUT YOU GO TO THE BACK, SHE GOT THE ABORTION CLINIC. 1682 01:12:55,400 --> 01:12:57,900 COME ON. GET THE HELLS FROM OUT OF HERE. 1683 01:12:57,900 --> 01:13:00,000 GET YOUR NAILS DONE AT THE SAME TIME. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING? 1684 01:13:00,000 --> 01:13:01,400 PEDICURE, JUMP OFF, EVERYTHING. 1685 01:13:01,400 --> 01:13:02,700 IT WAS A LOT OF FUN. 1686 01:13:02,700 --> 01:13:04,600 DO YOUR HOMEWORK. 1687 01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:06,600 HE'S A FERTILE LITTLE FUCKER, OKAY? 1688 01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:07,900 YOU'RE PREGNANT? 1689 01:13:07,900 --> 01:13:10,600 SHIT. YOU THINK I GOT THIS MOTHERFUCKING PAID 1690 01:13:10,600 --> 01:13:12,000 FROM PAYING CHILD SUPPORT? 1691 01:13:12,000 --> 01:13:13,800 FUCK! FUCK! 1692 01:13:13,800 --> 01:13:15,600 AFTER THAT NIGHT, I NEVER HEARD FROM YOU. 1693 01:13:15,600 --> 01:13:17,600 YEAH, I'VE BEEN TAKING THE TRAIN, 1694 01:13:17,600 --> 01:13:19,400 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M HERE ABOUT. 1695 01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:21,800 YOU SEE, I'M PREGNANT. 1696 01:13:21,800 --> 01:13:24,400 DON'T BE UPSET, DARLING. THAT'S WONDERFUL NEWS. 1697 01:13:24,400 --> 01:13:27,100 YOU CAN MOVE IN WITH ME. WE'RE GONNA HAVE LOTS OF CHILDREN, 1698 01:13:27,100 --> 01:13:28,600 BIG FAMILY, STRONG SONS. 1699 01:13:28,600 --> 01:13:30,500 I GOTTA GO. 1700 01:13:30,500 --> 01:13:33,800 I'VE HAD THIS ONE FANTASY FOR THE LONGEST TIME. 1701 01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:37,900 LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT. 1702 01:13:37,900 --> 01:13:40,700 OH, COME FUCKING ON! 1703 01:13:45,400 --> 01:13:48,500 ( sighs ) MARSHMALLOWY GOODNESS. 1704 01:13:48,500 --> 01:13:52,900 YOU KNOW, IT'S MY FAVORITE CEREAL. JUST SAYING. 1705 01:13:52,900 --> 01:13:56,000 THANK GOD. ( sighs ) 1706 01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:59,100 I NEED A DRINK. DO YOU HAVE ANY VODKA? 1707 01:13:59,100 --> 01:14:00,500 YEAH. YEAH? 1708 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:02,600 YEAH, LET ME GO GET SOME. 1709 01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:04,600 AND, YOU KNOW, WE LOVE YOU TO DEATH, 1710 01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,100 AND IF ANYTHING WERE TO HAPPEN, 1711 01:14:06,200 --> 01:14:08,100 YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALWAYS COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS, 1712 01:14:08,100 --> 01:14:09,100 AND WE'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YOU. 1713 01:14:09,100 --> 01:14:10,800 THANK YOU. 1714 01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:14,400 MEMORY FOAM. I LOVE IT. 1715 01:14:14,400 --> 01:14:16,200 YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON A GOOD NIGHT IN BED. 1716 01:14:16,200 --> 01:14:17,800 DO YOU MIND IF I SMOKE? 1717 01:14:17,800 --> 01:14:19,900 NO. NO, NO, NO. BY ALL MEANS. 1718 01:14:19,900 --> 01:14:22,000 LET ME GO GET AN ASHTRAY. 1719 01:14:29,700 --> 01:14:31,000 HEY. 1720 01:14:31,000 --> 01:14:32,400 HEY, HOW ARE YOU FEELING? 1721 01:14:32,400 --> 01:14:34,000 I'M ALL RIGHT, BUT, I DON'T KNOW, 1722 01:14:34,000 --> 01:14:36,000 I KIND OF FEEL LIKE THIS ONE IS BIGGER. 1723 01:14:36,000 --> 01:14:37,800 YOU CAN'T TELL ANYTHING UNTIL THE CAST IS OFF. 1724 01:14:37,800 --> 01:14:39,000 THEY'RE GONNA LOOK SO HOT. 1725 01:14:39,000 --> 01:14:40,600 THEY'LL SETTLE IN SOON, CUTIE. 1726 01:14:40,600 --> 01:14:42,600 YOU PROMISE? MM-HMM. 1727 01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:46,700 OKAY, YOU GUYS, LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD. 1728 01:14:46,700 --> 01:14:49,500 HEY, MAX. YEAH. 1729 01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:51,900 PUT HIM ON SPEAKER. YEAH. 1730 01:14:51,900 --> 01:14:53,800 Max: I WAS THINKING WE COULD HANG OUT TONIGHT, BABE. 1731 01:14:53,800 --> 01:14:56,000 YOU KNOW WHAT, I WAS THINKING THE EXACT SAME THING. 1732 01:14:56,000 --> 01:14:58,200 ALL RIGHT, SO, YEAH, YOU KNOW, WE'LL MEET UP, 1733 01:14:58,200 --> 01:15:00,600 AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN TONIGHT, BABY. 1734 01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:02,700 MOTHERFUCKER, I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DOUCHEBAG. 1735 01:15:02,700 --> 01:15:04,500 OH, WAIT, CAN YOU BRING YOUR FRIEND GLEN? 1736 01:15:04,500 --> 01:15:06,600 OH, YEAH, I'LL BRING HIM. I'M LOOKING AT HIS BIG ASS NOW, 1737 01:15:06,600 --> 01:15:08,100 MAKING A TRIPLE-DECKER SANDWICH. 1738 01:15:08,100 --> 01:15:09,800 Jasmine: OKAY, BIG KISS. ALL RIGHT. 1739 01:15:09,800 --> 01:15:11,200 THAT'S JASMINE? YVONNE'S FRIEND? 1740 01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:12,600 THAT'S A DANGEROUS GAME, MAN. 1741 01:15:12,700 --> 01:15:14,900 NAH, MAN, LOOK, ACTUALLY IT'S COOL 1742 01:15:14,900 --> 01:15:17,600 BECAUSE YVONNE'S IN THE HOSPITAL GETTING HER TITS DONE. 1743 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:19,800 NICE ROTATION, BRO. 1744 01:15:19,800 --> 01:15:23,100 AND SHE'S BRINGING A FRIEND JUST FOR YOU! 1745 01:15:23,100 --> 01:15:25,100 WHAT?! YEAH, MAN! 1746 01:15:25,100 --> 01:15:27,700 YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL. WHAT COLOR IS THAT? 1747 01:15:27,700 --> 01:15:29,800 I'M A DIRTY BLONDE. 1748 01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:32,700 OHH. HEY, WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER DRINK? 1749 01:15:32,700 --> 01:15:35,700 I CAN'T TONIGHT, SWEETIE. IT'S MY TIME OF THE MONTH. 1750 01:15:35,700 --> 01:15:37,200 NO, NO, NO. I DIDN'T EVEN MEAN IT LIKE THAT. 1751 01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:38,700 OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T. 1752 01:15:38,700 --> 01:15:39,800 THAT'S NOT WHAT WAS TALKING ABOUT. 1753 01:15:39,800 --> 01:15:40,900 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR EVERYTHING. 1754 01:15:40,900 --> 01:15:42,200 UM, CAN I USE YOUR RESTROOM? 1755 01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:45,500 YEAH. UH, IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE. 1756 01:15:57,100 --> 01:15:58,100 ( beeping ) 1757 01:15:59,300 --> 01:16:00,300 OHH. 1758 01:16:00,300 --> 01:16:02,700 ( sighs ) 1759 01:16:02,700 --> 01:16:04,700 ARE--ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH, IT'S JUST MY MOM. 1760 01:16:04,700 --> 01:16:07,900 MY STUPID KID'S ACTING UP, AND I HAVE TO GO AND SEE IT. 1761 01:16:07,900 --> 01:16:09,300 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE A MOM. 1762 01:16:09,300 --> 01:16:11,100 I KNOW, RIGHT? LOOK AT ME. 1763 01:16:11,100 --> 01:16:12,900 YOU'RE WAY TOO HOT TO BE A MOM. 1764 01:16:12,900 --> 01:16:14,600 EVERYBODY SAYS THAT. 1765 01:16:14,600 --> 01:16:16,500 I KNOW. I MEAN, I'M A GOOD MOM. 1766 01:16:16,500 --> 01:16:17,800 I SEE MY KID EVERY MONTH. 1767 01:16:17,800 --> 01:16:20,100 BUT I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. 1768 01:16:20,100 --> 01:16:23,800 OH, I'M TOTALLY COOL. MY BOYFRIEND ACTUALLY LIVES RIGHT NEXT DOOR, SO... 1769 01:16:23,800 --> 01:16:26,000 Glen: SO SERIOUSLY YOU SAID SHE WAS BRINGING SOME FRIENDS? 1770 01:16:26,000 --> 01:16:27,600 TWO FRIENDS. TWO FRIENDS? 1771 01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:28,600 GRADE A FUCKING TAIL? 1772 01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:29,900 TWO TENDERONIES. TWO? 1773 01:16:29,900 --> 01:16:32,100 HEY, WHAT'S UP, GIRL? 1774 01:16:32,100 --> 01:16:34,800 HELLO. GLEN, THESE ARE MY FRIENDS CANDACE AND DENISE. 1775 01:16:34,800 --> 01:16:36,100 HI. HOW ARE YOU? HI. 1776 01:16:36,100 --> 01:16:37,200 YOU GUYS LOOK FANTASTIC. 1777 01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:39,000 I'M DOING GOOD OBVIOUSLY. 1778 01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:40,000 BYE. 1779 01:16:40,000 --> 01:16:41,200 BYE, AARON. 1780 01:16:41,200 --> 01:16:43,100 ( phone vibrating ) 1781 01:16:43,100 --> 01:16:44,700 HI, HEY, SWEETHEART. 1782 01:16:44,700 --> 01:16:47,200 GOT YOUR OWN LITTLE REFUGEE CAMBODIAN OUTFIT ON. 1783 01:16:47,200 --> 01:16:51,000 MM-HMM. MMM, YEAH. I LIKE THAT LOOK YOU GOT GOING ON. 1784 01:16:51,000 --> 01:16:53,300 LOOK LIKE YOU IN TRAINING MODE. YOU ARE READY FOR ACTION. 1785 01:16:53,300 --> 01:16:55,100 I KNOW. I'M A TOUGH GIRL. 1786 01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,900 I LIKE THESE LITTLE EARRINGS YOU GOT, TOO. 1787 01:16:56,900 --> 01:16:58,600 MMM, I LIKE THIS LITTLE THIGH MEAT STICKING OUT RIGHT HERE. 1788 01:16:58,600 --> 01:17:00,900 MEAT? GONNA STICK MY FORK IN IT! 1789 01:17:00,900 --> 01:17:05,300 ALISSA, AMY, CARMEN. 1790 01:17:05,300 --> 01:17:06,300 Glen: WHAT ARE WE HAVING? 1791 01:17:06,300 --> 01:17:07,800 LET'S DO SHOTS. 1792 01:17:07,800 --> 01:17:09,800 LET'S DO SHOTS. THAT SOUNDS GREAT. 1793 01:17:09,800 --> 01:17:11,300 IT'S EARLY. LET'S GET THE PARTY STARTED. 1794 01:17:11,300 --> 01:17:12,800 GLEN... 1795 01:17:12,800 --> 01:17:15,900 HEY, GRETCHEN. YEAH, WHAT'S UP? 1796 01:17:15,900 --> 01:17:18,300 I NEED TO TALK TO YOU... IN PRIVATE. 1797 01:17:18,300 --> 01:17:19,300 RIGHT NOW? 1798 01:17:19,300 --> 01:17:21,200 IT'S IMPORTANT. NOW. 1799 01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:24,800 OKAY. EXCUSE ME, LADIES. 1800 01:17:24,800 --> 01:17:28,400 ZELDA. SEND. 1801 01:17:28,400 --> 01:17:31,600 OH, IT'S THE TEXT. OH, THIS IS PRICELESS. 1802 01:17:31,600 --> 01:17:33,700 "IT'S MAX, AND I'M HORNY. 1803 01:17:33,700 --> 01:17:35,800 "WHICH ONE OF MY BITCHES IS UP RIGHT NOW, 1804 01:17:35,800 --> 01:17:37,400 "READY FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ? 1805 01:17:37,400 --> 01:17:38,900 I GOT THE BEER." 1806 01:17:38,900 --> 01:17:41,700 OH, MY GOD. THAT IS SO EPIC. 1807 01:17:41,700 --> 01:17:43,300 WHO DO YOU THINK THIS WENT OUT TO? 1808 01:17:43,300 --> 01:17:46,300 KNOWING WENDY, PROBABLY EVERY SINGLE FEMALE IN HIS PHONE. 1809 01:17:46,300 --> 01:17:47,700 ( beeping ) 1810 01:17:52,000 --> 01:17:53,300 FUCKING ASSCLOWN! 1811 01:17:55,700 --> 01:17:57,100 THANK YOU. 1812 01:17:58,800 --> 01:18:00,000 NO, I'M GOOD. 1813 01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:01,600 BUT WE USED A CONDOM. 1814 01:18:01,600 --> 01:18:04,600 ( sighs ) IT BROKE SOMETIMES, REMEMBER? 1815 01:18:04,600 --> 01:18:07,700 BECAUSE YOU WERE "TOO BIG"? 1816 01:18:07,700 --> 01:18:09,700 THANK YOU. 1817 01:18:09,700 --> 01:18:12,300 OH, MY GOD. LET ME SEE. 1818 01:18:12,300 --> 01:18:13,300 PERVERT! 1819 01:18:13,300 --> 01:18:14,900 FIVE MINUTES?! 1820 01:18:14,900 --> 01:18:16,900 UM, NO, NO, NO, IT'S FINE. TAKE YOUR TIME. 1821 01:18:16,900 --> 01:18:18,100 UM, I'M JUST GOING TO BE STRAIGHTENING UP. 1822 01:18:18,100 --> 01:18:19,700 OKAY. OKAY, BYE. 1823 01:18:19,700 --> 01:18:20,900 FUCK! 1824 01:18:24,100 --> 01:18:25,300 LOOK AT THAT KNEE. MMM. 1825 01:18:25,300 --> 01:18:27,200 UM, I HAVE TO GO. 1826 01:18:27,200 --> 01:18:28,600 WHAT? YEAH. 1827 01:18:28,600 --> 01:18:29,600 YOU GOTTA GO? MM-HMM. 1828 01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:30,900 WHY? 1829 01:18:30,900 --> 01:18:32,700 NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. GIRL STUFF. COME ON. 1830 01:18:32,700 --> 01:18:35,700 GIRL STUFF? NO, YOU DID NOT JUST KISS ME ON MY FOREHEAD. 1831 01:18:38,200 --> 01:18:39,200 $500. 1832 01:18:39,200 --> 01:18:41,400 $500? I KNOW. 1833 01:18:41,400 --> 01:18:43,000 DO YOU HAVE ANY OF IT? 1834 01:18:43,000 --> 01:18:44,300 NO, I DON'T HAVE ANY OF IT. 1835 01:18:44,300 --> 01:18:46,000 THAT'S WHY I'M HERE TALKING TO YOU. 1836 01:18:46,000 --> 01:18:47,300 I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, I COULD ASK MY MOM, 1837 01:18:47,300 --> 01:18:49,400 BUT SHE WANTS GRANDKIDS, SO WHAT... GOD. 1838 01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:51,200 DID YOU DO ANY, LIKE, SHOPPING AROUND? 1839 01:18:51,200 --> 01:18:52,300 IT'S MY VAGINA! 1840 01:18:52,300 --> 01:18:53,300 ( phone rings ) 1841 01:18:53,300 --> 01:18:55,000 Text voice: IT'S MAX. 1842 01:18:55,000 --> 01:18:56,700 IT'S FROM MAX! 1843 01:18:56,700 --> 01:18:58,800 "TEXT TO LANDLINE" MESSAGE. IT'S MAX. 1844 01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,800 IT'S A "TEXT TO LANDLINE" MESSAGE. 1845 01:19:00,800 --> 01:19:03,400 ...AND READY FOR A FACELOAD OF JIZZ? 1846 01:19:03,400 --> 01:19:06,800 WHAT IDIOTS. THEY TOTALLY DESERVED IT. 1847 01:19:06,900 --> 01:19:07,900 ( beeping ) 1848 01:19:09,100 --> 01:19:10,100 OH... 1849 01:19:10,100 --> 01:19:11,800 MOMMY, WHAT'S "JIZZ" MEAN? 1850 01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:15,500 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FILTH? 1851 01:19:15,500 --> 01:19:17,000 MAX. 1852 01:19:19,200 --> 01:19:24,100 ( phone vibrates and rings ) 1853 01:19:24,100 --> 01:19:27,000 PICK UP! 1854 01:19:27,000 --> 01:19:28,700 SCHOOL'S OUT, AARON. 1855 01:19:28,700 --> 01:19:30,100 JOHNNY...I FUCKED UP. 1856 01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:31,200 OKAY, RELAX. 1857 01:19:31,200 --> 01:19:33,500 ALL RIGHT, MR. "PERFECT BOYFRIEND," 1858 01:19:33,500 --> 01:19:37,700 LOOK, JUST STOP AND THINK. WHAT DID SHE TOUCH? 1859 01:19:37,700 --> 01:19:40,900 Johnny: DID SHE DRINK ANYTHING? CHECK FOR LIPSTICK. 1860 01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:45,000 WHAT ABOUT CIGARETTES? WAS SHE SMOKING? 1861 01:19:45,000 --> 01:19:48,000 CHECK THE BED. TAKE A LINT ROLLER TO THE BED. 1862 01:19:48,000 --> 01:19:51,100 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, TAKE A DEEP BREATH. 1863 01:19:51,100 --> 01:19:53,100 JUST LOOK AROUND CAREFULLY. 1864 01:19:53,100 --> 01:19:55,800 LET ME KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. 1865 01:19:55,800 --> 01:19:57,400 HI. 1866 01:19:57,400 --> 01:20:00,200 MMM, LUCKY YOU WERE JUST AROUND THE CORNER! 1867 01:20:00,200 --> 01:20:02,200 HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING? 1868 01:20:02,200 --> 01:20:05,100 NO. NO. 1869 01:20:05,100 --> 01:20:06,800 WHAT ARE YOU--NO. 1870 01:20:10,800 --> 01:20:12,800 OH, MY GOD. 1871 01:20:16,400 --> 01:20:18,900 SHIT. 1872 01:20:26,100 --> 01:20:27,300 ( phone ringing ) 1873 01:20:27,300 --> 01:20:28,900 YOU WERE RIGHT. 1874 01:20:28,900 --> 01:20:32,300 HE JUST HAD SOME MENSTRUATING WHORE OVER HERE! 1875 01:20:32,300 --> 01:20:35,800 COME ON, SWEETIE. YOU KNEW THIS DAY WOULD COME. 1876 01:20:35,800 --> 01:20:37,200 I KNOW. I JUST... 1877 01:20:37,200 --> 01:20:39,900 I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN SO SOON. 1878 01:20:39,900 --> 01:20:43,300 I MEAN, I REALLY, REALLY LIKED HIM. 1879 01:20:43,300 --> 01:20:46,100 YEAH, SHE'S IN THE BATHROOM. I THINK IT'S COOL. 1880 01:20:46,100 --> 01:20:49,200 UH, THANK YOU SO MUCH, MAN. SERIOUSLY YOU SAVED MY LIFE. 1881 01:20:49,200 --> 01:20:52,600 NO PROBLEM, BUT, DUDE, IF YOU INSIST ON HAVING A GIRLFRIEND-- 1882 01:20:52,600 --> 01:20:55,600 NO, NO, NO. I WASN'T EVEN GOING TO DO ANYTHING, DUDE. PLUS, SHE WAS ON HER PERIOD. 1883 01:20:55,600 --> 01:20:59,100 HER PERIOD. DID YOU CHECK THE BATHROOM? 1884 01:20:59,100 --> 01:21:01,800 OH, FUCK! OH, SHIT! 1885 01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:05,200 HE'S A BOY. BOYS WOULD FUCK A STICK OF BUTTER IF THEY COULD. 1886 01:21:05,200 --> 01:21:08,400 HE'S BASICALLY AS FAITHFUL AS THE OPTIONS OPEN TO HIM. 1887 01:21:08,400 --> 01:21:09,800 I'M GONNA KILL HIM. 1888 01:21:09,800 --> 01:21:11,500 NO. DON'T DO A THING. 1889 01:21:11,500 --> 01:21:14,200 YOU'VE GOT A BIRTHDAY COMING UP NEXT WEEKEND, DON'T YOU? 1890 01:21:14,200 --> 01:21:15,400 YES. 1891 01:21:15,400 --> 01:21:18,400 OKAY, CLEAN UP THE BLOOD, DRY YOUR EYES, 1892 01:21:18,400 --> 01:21:20,000 AND PRETEND LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. 1893 01:21:20,000 --> 01:21:22,400 WE ARE GOING TO TURN THIS WHOLE THING AROUND. 1894 01:21:22,400 --> 01:21:26,300 OKAY. CAN I COME BACK TO THE MEETINGS? 1895 01:21:26,300 --> 01:21:28,400 OF COURSE YOU CAN, SWEETIE. 1896 01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:31,300 COME NEXT WEEK, WE'LL GET YOU TASSELED IN, AND WE'LL HAVE SOME FUN. 1897 01:21:31,300 --> 01:21:36,000 OH, AND YVONNE'S GOING TO BE UNVEILING HER NEW BOOBIES! 1898 01:21:36,000 --> 01:21:37,600 GOOD. I CANT WAIT. 1899 01:21:37,600 --> 01:21:40,300 THANKS. 1900 01:21:40,300 --> 01:21:41,500 HEY, GUYS. 1901 01:21:41,500 --> 01:21:42,900 GIRL, WHAT'S UP? 1902 01:21:42,900 --> 01:21:44,400 HOW DID IT GO? HOW DID IT GO? 1903 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:45,400 AWESOME! 1904 01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:47,200 GET DOWN! YEAH, WE DID! 1905 01:21:47,200 --> 01:21:48,600 WE SENT THE TEXT MESSAGE FROM HELL! 1906 01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:50,200 I'M SORRY I WASN'T THERE. 1907 01:21:50,200 --> 01:21:52,200 ( all speaking at once ) 1908 01:21:52,200 --> 01:21:55,200 THEY KNOW WHO'S IN CHARGE. ABSOLUTELY. 1909 01:21:55,200 --> 01:21:56,400 BABE, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 1910 01:21:56,400 --> 01:21:58,100 ( sadly ) YES. 1911 01:21:58,100 --> 01:21:59,900 ARE YOU CRYING? 1912 01:21:59,900 --> 01:22:03,100 NO. IT'S MY ALLERGIES. 1913 01:22:03,100 --> 01:22:06,300 SO, WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME FOR MY BIRTHDAY? 1914 01:22:06,300 --> 01:22:09,600 UM, WHAT ABOUT THAT LITTLE RESTAURANT YOU LIKE DOWNTOWN? 1915 01:22:09,600 --> 01:22:11,900 YEAH. WHAT ABOUT MAUI? 1916 01:22:11,900 --> 01:22:13,400 ( grunts ) 1917 01:22:13,400 --> 01:22:15,000 WHERE YOU BEEN AT, MAN? 1918 01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:16,600 BEEN AT THE FUCKING ATM. 1919 01:22:16,600 --> 01:22:19,000 THIS IS... THIS IS DEEP SHIT, MAN. 1920 01:22:19,000 --> 01:22:22,100 SHIT. YOU GOT NO IDEA, MAN. I BEEN GETTING SOME CRAZY ASS TEXT MESSAGES. 1921 01:22:22,100 --> 01:22:24,300 YEAH? ( phone ringing ) 1922 01:22:25,600 --> 01:22:27,500 HEY, WHAT'S UP, MOM? 1923 01:22:30,000 --> 01:22:32,000 ? WE ARE THE LADIES OF THE T.O.B. ? 1924 01:22:32,000 --> 01:22:33,400 ? WITH THE BOOTY THAT THEY WANT ? 1925 01:22:33,400 --> 01:22:35,100 ? BUT THIS SHIT AIN'T CHEAP 1926 01:22:35,100 --> 01:22:38,000 ? WE NEED MORE JEWELRY AND TIGS FOR RELAXIN' ? 1927 01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:40,600 ? TANNING BOOTHS AND SILICON AND INTIMATE WAXIN' ? 1928 01:22:40,600 --> 01:22:43,400 ? WE NEVER HAVE TO PAY 'CAUSE WE GOT THESE ? 1929 01:22:43,400 --> 01:22:46,200 ? TIG OLD BITTIES, WE RUN THIS CITY ? 1930 01:22:46,200 --> 01:22:48,700 ? COURTNEY'S IN OUR GANG 'CAUSE SHE'S GOT TIG BITTIES ? 1931 01:22:48,700 --> 01:22:50,400 ( cheering ) 1932 01:22:50,400 --> 01:22:52,000 YOU DODGED A BULLET, MY FRIEND. 1933 01:22:52,000 --> 01:22:55,200 $450 FOR AN ABORTION, OR 18 YEARS OF CHILD SUPPORT? 1934 01:22:55,200 --> 01:22:56,300 THAT IS A LOT OF MONEY. 1935 01:22:56,300 --> 01:22:57,600 YEAH, THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY. 1936 01:22:57,600 --> 01:22:59,100 NOW, COURTNEY, THAT WAS THE EASY PART, 1937 01:22:59,100 --> 01:23:01,300 BUT TIME TO JUMP YOU IN! 1938 01:23:01,400 --> 01:23:04,200 ( cheering ) 1939 01:23:04,200 --> 01:23:06,500 ( chanting ) COURTNEY, COURTNEY, COURTNEY... 1940 01:23:12,300 --> 01:23:14,400 ( cheering, screaming ) 1941 01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:23,100 ONCHIE! ONCHIE! 1942 01:23:23,100 --> 01:23:25,000 AND WHAT ARE YOU SO MISERABLE ABOUT? 1943 01:23:25,000 --> 01:23:26,000 YOU GOT LUCKY, TOO. 1944 01:23:26,000 --> 01:23:27,400 I KNOW. I JUST FEEL BAD. 1945 01:23:27,400 --> 01:23:29,000 WHY? 'CAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET TO FUCK 1946 01:23:29,000 --> 01:23:30,400 THAT CENTERFOLD YOU "HELPED"? 1947 01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,400 DID THEY PAY UP? MOSTLY. 1948 01:23:32,400 --> 01:23:34,500 GOD, I'VE FUCKED SOME CHEAP BASTARDS. 1949 01:23:34,500 --> 01:23:36,300 BUT WE DID MAKE SOME MONEY, RIGHT, WENDY? 1950 01:23:36,300 --> 01:23:38,700 WELL, BECAUSE OF YOU, GRETCHEN, $2000! 1951 01:23:38,700 --> 01:23:41,400 HOLLA! HOLLA! NICE. 1952 01:23:41,400 --> 01:23:43,500 DUDE, SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE HER TO HAWAII FOR HER BIRTHDAY. 1953 01:23:43,500 --> 01:23:45,000 ( laughing ) 1954 01:23:45,000 --> 01:23:48,000 YOU'RE 25. YOU DON'T NEED ALL THAT! 1955 01:23:48,000 --> 01:23:49,100 NO, I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. 1956 01:23:49,100 --> 01:23:50,200 I SHOULD PROBABLY CALL HER, MAN, 1957 01:23:50,200 --> 01:23:52,000 AND MAKE THINGS A BIT LESS FORMAL. 1958 01:23:52,000 --> 01:23:53,000 CALL HER. 1959 01:23:53,000 --> 01:23:54,000 ( laughing ) 1960 01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:55,300 ( phone vibrating ) 1961 01:23:55,300 --> 01:23:58,300 OH, IT'S THE BOY. SHALL I DITCH IT? 1962 01:23:58,300 --> 01:24:00,100 NO. TAKE IT. THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC. 1963 01:24:00,100 --> 01:24:02,000 YEAH, AND FIND OUT WHAT HIS LITTLE FRIENDS ARE DOING. 1964 01:24:02,000 --> 01:24:03,700 OKAY. 1965 01:24:03,700 --> 01:24:05,300 HELLO? 1966 01:24:05,300 --> 01:24:06,700 WHERE IS YVONNE? 1967 01:24:06,700 --> 01:24:08,700 I ALWAYS DITCH THEM ALL EVERY SIX MONTHS. 1968 01:24:08,700 --> 01:24:09,700 IT'S VERY LIBERATING. 1969 01:24:09,700 --> 01:24:11,600 ALL EXCEPT THE ONE YOU LOVED. 1970 01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:13,500 COME ON, DUDE, WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT, MAN. 1971 01:24:13,500 --> 01:24:15,200 WHY DON'T YOU TELL US WHAT HAPPENED? 1972 01:24:15,200 --> 01:24:17,500 ( crying ) 1973 01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:20,200 THEY'RE PARTYING! 1974 01:24:20,200 --> 01:24:23,300 ONE IS EXCITED BECAUSE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE A KID, 1975 01:24:23,300 --> 01:24:26,200 AND THE OTHER ONE HAS A BUNCH OF DATES LINED UP, 1976 01:24:26,200 --> 01:24:30,300 AND AARON WANTS TO MAKE THINGS "LESS FORMAL." 1977 01:24:30,300 --> 01:24:31,700 OHH... OHH... 1978 01:24:34,700 --> 01:24:36,400 WHAT'S THE MATTER, SWEETHEART? 1979 01:24:36,400 --> 01:24:38,200 SHOW THEM. 1980 01:24:39,200 --> 01:24:41,300 ( sniffling ) 1981 01:24:41,300 --> 01:24:43,500 ( crying ) 1982 01:24:43,500 --> 01:24:45,100 ( women gasping ) 1983 01:24:45,100 --> 01:24:47,300 OHH! WHAT?! OH, MY GOD! 1984 01:24:47,300 --> 01:24:51,300 HE SAID THAT ONE OF THE IMPLANTS WAS CRACKED 1985 01:24:51,300 --> 01:24:55,500 AND THAT THEY DIDN'T NOTICE UNTIL THEY WERE GONNA IMPLANT IT. 1986 01:24:55,500 --> 01:24:57,200 DICK. ASSHOLE! 1987 01:24:57,200 --> 01:24:58,300 WHEN IS HE GONNA DO THE OTHER ONE? 1988 01:24:58,300 --> 01:24:59,800 HE SAID BOOKED ALL MONTH, 1989 01:24:59,800 --> 01:25:04,800 BUT HE WANTS TO TAKE ME TO VEGAS NEXT WEEK! 1990 01:25:04,800 --> 01:25:07,100 SNEAKY LITTLE BASTARD! 1991 01:25:07,100 --> 01:25:08,500 AND LOOK WHAT HE GAVE HER FOR HER SCAR TISSUE. 1992 01:25:08,500 --> 01:25:11,600 LOOK WHAT HE GAVE ME FOR THE SCAR TISSUE. 1993 01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:13,400 KELOCOTE. 1994 01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:14,700 KELOCOTE. 1995 01:25:14,700 --> 01:25:17,300 JOHNNY EYELASH. 1996 01:25:17,300 --> 01:25:20,600 WAIT. AARON HAS A FRIEND NAMED JOHNNY. 1997 01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:22,400 SO DOES MAX. 1998 01:25:22,400 --> 01:25:25,700 SO DOES GLEN, AND HE'S ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL HE IS. 1999 01:25:25,700 --> 01:25:27,400 WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASHES? 2000 01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:29,400 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HIS FAGGY LITTLE FINGERPRINTS 2001 01:25:29,400 --> 01:25:30,600 WERE ALL OVER THIS. 2002 01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:32,700 HE WAS PULLING THE STRINGS ALL ALONG. 2003 01:25:32,700 --> 01:25:36,400 WHO IS THIS JOHNNY EYELASH, AND WHY IS HE RUINING MY LIFE? 2004 01:25:36,400 --> 01:25:41,400 HE'S A BOY THAT I... WE USED TO DATE. 2005 01:25:43,100 --> 01:25:45,100 Max: SHE WAS AMAZING. 2006 01:25:45,100 --> 01:25:46,500 I WAS IN NEW YORK. 2007 01:25:46,500 --> 01:25:48,700 WE WERE YOUNG, WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER, 2008 01:25:48,700 --> 01:25:51,800 AND I WAS REALLY IN LOVE WITH HER. I WAS REALLY HAPPY. 2009 01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:54,300 Little Wendy: I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I COULD LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH. 2010 01:25:54,300 --> 01:25:56,600 Big Wendy: I KNEW HIM, TOO. THAT'S HOW WE MET. 2011 01:25:56,600 --> 01:25:58,400 HE HAS A LONG HISTORY WITH THIS GANG. 2012 01:25:58,400 --> 01:26:00,900 HE'S THE REASON WHY WE STARTED THE T.O.B. 2013 01:26:00,900 --> 01:26:03,700 YEAH, WHAT DOES T.O.B. STAND FOR? 2014 01:26:03,700 --> 01:26:05,300 I WAS REALLY INTO HER, 2015 01:26:05,300 --> 01:26:07,500 BUT SHE WAS A FUCKING PSYCHO NIGHTMARE. 2016 01:26:07,500 --> 01:26:09,600 I MEAN, THIS CHICK WAS BATS. 2017 01:26:09,600 --> 01:26:11,500 Little Wendy: I'D BEEN DATING HIM FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS. 2018 01:26:11,500 --> 01:26:15,300 I WAS YOUNG AND IN LOVE. WE HAD JUST MOVED IN TOGETHER. 2019 01:26:15,300 --> 01:26:17,700 IT WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS IN SPRING 2020 01:26:17,700 --> 01:26:20,100 WHERE YOU JUST WANT TO STAY OUTSIDE ALL DAY. 2021 01:26:20,100 --> 01:26:21,600 Johnny: I DON'T KNOW IF YOU EVER LIVED IN NEW YORK, 2022 01:26:21,600 --> 01:26:23,600 BUT THERE'S THAT ONE DAY IN SPRING 2023 01:26:23,600 --> 01:26:25,400 WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE, BAM-- 2024 01:26:25,400 --> 01:26:27,800 TITTIES AND MIDRIFFS EVERYWHERE. 2025 01:26:27,800 --> 01:26:29,400 Little Wendy: SO WE'RE HAVING A NICE WALK 2026 01:26:29,400 --> 01:26:31,600 WHEN THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL WALKS PAST. 2027 01:26:31,600 --> 01:26:33,800 IT WAS WENDY. 2028 01:26:33,800 --> 01:26:35,800 I WAS YOUNG AND UNPREPARED FOR IT, 2029 01:26:35,800 --> 01:26:37,500 THEN THIS SMOKING CHICK WALKED PAST, 2030 01:26:37,500 --> 01:26:39,600 WITH TITTIES FROM HELL. 2031 01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:42,600 I MEAN, BIG ONES, BRAND-NEW, OUT ON DISPLAY, 2032 01:26:42,600 --> 01:26:45,300 SO I CATCH HER OUT THE CORNER OF MY EYE. 2033 01:26:45,300 --> 01:26:46,800 TIG OLD BITTIES! 2034 01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:48,700 Little Wendy: AND THIS WAS BEFORE I HAD MY BOOBS, 2035 01:26:48,700 --> 01:26:51,400 SO I WAS LITTLE BIT MORE SENSITIVE ABOUT IT BACK THEN. 2036 01:26:51,400 --> 01:26:53,900 Johnny: SHE JUST WENT FUCKING CRAZY. 2037 01:26:53,900 --> 01:26:55,900 SO LATER THAT NIGHT WE WERE AT THIS CLUB, RIGHT? 2038 01:26:55,900 --> 01:26:57,600 AND I SEE THIS CHICK AGAIN. 2039 01:26:57,600 --> 01:26:59,900 SO WE WENT INTO ONE OF THOSE UNISEX BATHROOMS. 2040 01:26:59,900 --> 01:27:01,500 ANYWAYS, I'M IN THE STALL, 2041 01:27:01,500 --> 01:27:02,900 AND I'M GETTING A BLOWJOB, RIGHT? 2042 01:27:02,900 --> 01:27:04,500 AND SHE JUST BUST RIGHT IN. 2043 01:27:04,500 --> 01:27:06,300 Little Wendy: I SAW WENDY IN THERE, 2044 01:27:06,300 --> 01:27:07,900 AND I DIDN'T KNOW HER NAME, SO I JUST SCREAMED, 2045 01:27:07,900 --> 01:27:09,800 "TIG OLD BITTIES! THAT'S MY BOYFRIEND." 2046 01:27:09,800 --> 01:27:12,400 Johnny: AND THE OTHER ONE, SHE SPAT ON ME-- 2047 01:27:12,400 --> 01:27:13,700 MY OWN JIZZ! 2048 01:27:13,700 --> 01:27:16,300 YEAH, AND IT DOES BURN, BY THE WAY. 2049 01:27:16,300 --> 01:27:18,500 BUT WENDY WAS NICE. SHE DIDN'T KNOW. 2050 01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:21,600 SHE SAID SHE WAS SORRY, AND WE BECAME FRIENDS. 2051 01:27:21,600 --> 01:27:23,400 AND WE ENDED UP MEETING FABIO 2052 01:27:23,400 --> 01:27:26,200 AND HAVING THIS CRAZY THREEWAY BACK AT THE HOTEL. 2053 01:27:26,200 --> 01:27:27,800 ( women laughing ) 2054 01:27:30,400 --> 01:27:32,300 FABIO! 2055 01:27:32,300 --> 01:27:33,900 FABIO! 2056 01:27:35,400 --> 01:27:36,800 OH, WENDY, DON'T WORRY. 2057 01:27:36,800 --> 01:27:39,200 THERE'S PLENTY OF FABIO TO GO AROUND. 2058 01:27:39,200 --> 01:27:41,900 FUNNY THING, THEY WERE BOTH CALLED WENDY. 2059 01:27:41,900 --> 01:27:45,300 WENDY? THAT CHICK THAT CAME OVER 2060 01:27:45,300 --> 01:27:47,400 AND NEARLY GOT ME BUSTED WAS NAMED WENDY. 2061 01:27:47,400 --> 01:27:49,800 YEAH, YVONNE'S ALWAYS GOING ON ABOUT THE WENDYS. 2062 01:27:49,800 --> 01:27:51,900 WENDYS! OF COURSE. 2063 01:27:51,900 --> 01:27:56,300 IT WAS THEM ALL ALONG. THOSE LITTLE BITCHES. 2064 01:27:59,700 --> 01:28:01,400 JOHNNY EYELASH. 2065 01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:04,500 WE'RE GONNA TAKE HIM DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL. 2066 01:28:04,500 --> 01:28:06,700 HE STARTED ALL THIS, AND WE'RE GONNA FINISH IT. 2067 01:28:06,700 --> 01:28:09,900 BUT TO DO IT, WE NEED TO MOVE TO A NEW STAGE OF OUR LIVES. 2068 01:28:09,900 --> 01:28:11,300 YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, WENDY. 2069 01:28:11,300 --> 01:28:14,300 YES, I DO. THE NUCLEAR OPTION. 2070 01:28:18,600 --> 01:28:20,500 JOHNNY! HOW ARE YOU DOING? 2071 01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:22,000 WHAT'S UP, BRO? 2072 01:28:22,000 --> 01:28:24,000 THANK YOU. YOU GOT IT. 2073 01:28:25,700 --> 01:28:28,900 JOHNNY EYELASH. COME OVER HERE. 2074 01:28:28,900 --> 01:28:31,800 OKAY, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO WANT? 2075 01:28:31,800 --> 01:28:35,800 OH, JOHNNY EYELASH. ALWAYS THE CHARMER, AREN'T YA? 2076 01:28:35,800 --> 01:28:37,600 EXCEPT WHEN YOU'RE CHEATING ON YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 2077 01:28:37,600 --> 01:28:39,000 WHAT IS THIS, ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR LITTLE SCHEMES 2078 01:28:39,000 --> 01:28:40,400 TO PULL OVER ON ME AND MY BOYS? 2079 01:28:40,400 --> 01:28:42,300 NO. CALM DOWN. 2080 01:28:42,300 --> 01:28:44,800 WE'RE JUST EXTENDING AN OLIVE BRANCH. OH, REALLY? 2081 01:28:44,800 --> 01:28:45,900 COME AND SIT OVER HERE, JOHNNY. 2082 01:28:45,900 --> 01:28:47,300 I'M OKAY RIGHT HERE, THANKS. 2083 01:28:47,300 --> 01:28:49,000 OUCH. OUCH. 2084 01:28:49,000 --> 01:28:51,400 VODKA GIMLET, RIGHT? 2085 01:28:53,900 --> 01:28:55,000 THANK YOU. 2086 01:28:55,000 --> 01:28:56,900 SO HOW IS THE BOOB CREAM BUSINESS? 2087 01:28:56,900 --> 01:29:01,300 IT'S GOING WELL, ACTUALLY. THANK YOU FOR ASKING. 2088 01:29:01,300 --> 01:29:03,400 AND HOW IS YOUR "WORK" GOING? 2089 01:29:03,400 --> 01:29:04,500 GOOD. YEAH? 2090 01:29:04,500 --> 01:29:06,500 WE HAVE A HOUSE. SERIOUSLY? 2091 01:29:06,500 --> 01:29:08,400 YEAH. AND A COMMITTEE. 2092 01:29:08,500 --> 01:29:10,900 YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THE COMMITTEE. AND A BUNCH OF GIRLS. 2093 01:29:10,900 --> 01:29:13,600 SO WHAT, ARE YOU GUYS DRINKING, TOO? OR AM I ON MY OWN? 2094 01:29:13,600 --> 01:29:15,400 COME ON, COME SIT OVER HERE. OKAY. 2095 01:29:15,400 --> 01:29:16,700 UHH. 2096 01:29:16,700 --> 01:29:19,600 SO, JOHNNY, YOU REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST MET, RIGHT? 2097 01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:20,700 YEAH, I REMEMBER. 2098 01:29:20,700 --> 01:29:22,000 LET'S DO A TOAST. 2099 01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:23,000 OF COURSE I REMEMBER. YOU WERE SO HOT. 2100 01:29:23,000 --> 01:29:24,500 ALL RIGHT, A TOAST. 2101 01:29:24,500 --> 01:29:25,600 ( all speaking at once ) 2102 01:29:25,600 --> 01:29:28,300 TO NEW TIMES. AND OLD TIMES. 2103 01:29:28,300 --> 01:29:30,400 IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO. 2104 01:29:30,400 --> 01:29:32,000 IT WASN'T MY FINEST MOMENT, SORRY. 2105 01:29:32,000 --> 01:29:33,800 YOU WANNA GET COZY, PLEASE? ALL RIGHT. 2106 01:29:33,800 --> 01:29:34,800 WENDY, TELL HIM. 2107 01:29:34,800 --> 01:29:35,800 YEAH, WENDY, TELL HIM. 2108 01:29:35,800 --> 01:29:37,800 WE WANT A BABY. 2109 01:29:37,800 --> 01:29:39,000 ( laughs ) 2110 01:29:39,000 --> 01:29:40,500 SERIOUSLY? 2111 01:29:40,600 --> 01:29:42,600 YEAH. WE'RE SICK OF ALL THE PARTIES 2112 01:29:42,600 --> 01:29:44,600 AND TRYING TO FIND THE PERFECT GUY. 2113 01:29:44,600 --> 01:29:46,600 YOU WANT ME TO GET ONE OF YOU TWO PREGNANT? 2114 01:29:46,600 --> 01:29:48,400 WENDY AND I LIKE EACH OTHER. 2115 01:29:48,400 --> 01:29:52,100 A LOT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 2116 01:29:52,100 --> 01:29:55,000 BUT WE BOTH STILL LIKE DICK. 2117 01:29:55,000 --> 01:29:56,700 SO HERE'S WHAT WE'RE THINKING. 2118 01:29:56,700 --> 01:29:59,100 WHY DON'T WE POOL OUR RESOURCES, 2119 01:29:59,100 --> 01:30:00,700 AND THE THREE OF US MOVE IN TOGETHER? 2120 01:30:00,700 --> 01:30:01,700 THE THREE OF US LIVE TOGETHER? 2121 01:30:01,700 --> 01:30:03,600 UH-HUH. OH, MY GOD. 2122 01:30:03,600 --> 01:30:05,300 WE ALL SLEEP TOGETHER, 2123 01:30:05,300 --> 01:30:06,700 BUT THE DEAL IS NONE OF US THREE 2124 01:30:06,700 --> 01:30:08,000 CAN SLEEP WITH ANYBODY ELSE. 2125 01:30:08,000 --> 01:30:09,800 AND TO KEEP THE BOND STRONG, 2126 01:30:09,800 --> 01:30:12,400 YOU HAVE TO MARRY ONE OF US, AND GET THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT. 2127 01:30:12,400 --> 01:30:14,100 OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE... MARRY? 2128 01:30:14,100 --> 01:30:15,900 UH-HUH. DON'T YOU WANT A SON? 2129 01:30:15,900 --> 01:30:20,700 AND YOU GET TO SHOW US BOTH OFF, ONE ON EACH ARM. 2130 01:30:20,700 --> 01:30:24,900 AND YOU GET YOUR CHOICE OF SIX HOLES. 2131 01:30:24,900 --> 01:30:27,600 EVERY NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT. 2132 01:30:27,600 --> 01:30:30,500 WE WILL FUCK YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES. 2133 01:30:30,500 --> 01:30:32,000 IN HALF. 2134 01:30:32,000 --> 01:30:34,100 UPSIDE-DOWN. 2135 01:30:34,100 --> 01:30:37,100 THIS IS BULLSHIT. I WANNA GO FIRST. HE LIKES ME BETTER. 2136 01:30:37,100 --> 01:30:39,800 I WANT TO SUCK IT. NO, I WANT TO SUCK IT. 2137 01:30:39,800 --> 01:30:40,800 HEY, HEY, HEY, LADIES! 2138 01:30:40,800 --> 01:30:42,700 BULLSHIT, YOU WENT LAST NIGHT. 2139 01:30:42,700 --> 01:30:44,400 YOU SUCKED IT FIRST THIS MORNING. IT'S MY TURN. 2140 01:30:44,400 --> 01:30:46,600 OKAY, OKAY, LADIES, DON'T BE GREEDY. 2141 01:30:46,600 --> 01:30:47,900 YOU CAN SHARE, ALL RIGHT? 2142 01:30:48,000 --> 01:30:50,500 YOU GET THE LEFT SIDE, YOU GET THE RIGHT SIDE. 2143 01:30:50,500 --> 01:30:51,700 ONE BALL EACH. 2144 01:30:51,700 --> 01:30:54,100 AND, GO. 2145 01:30:54,100 --> 01:30:55,700 ( women giggling ) 2146 01:30:55,700 --> 01:30:59,500 OKAY. WHOA, SLOW IT DOWN. 2147 01:30:59,500 --> 01:31:01,800 BUT YOU CAN'T CHEAT. NEVER. 2148 01:31:01,800 --> 01:31:03,900 OR YOU'LL PAY. NO WAY. 2149 01:31:03,900 --> 01:31:06,900 LOOK, I COULD SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THIS KIND OF AN ARRANGEMENT. 2150 01:31:06,900 --> 01:31:08,700 AND I WOULD NEVER CHEAT. 2151 01:31:08,700 --> 01:31:10,400 NEVER. NO WAY. 2152 01:31:10,400 --> 01:31:11,900 Max: WITHIN THREE MONTHS, 2153 01:31:11,900 --> 01:31:13,900 THE FIRST PART OF THEIR PLAN WAS COMPLETE. 2154 01:31:13,900 --> 01:31:16,500 HE WAS MARRIED TO ONE, GOT THE OTHER ONE PREGNANT, 2155 01:31:16,500 --> 01:31:18,000 AND THEY ALL LIVED UNDER THE SAME ROOF. 2156 01:31:18,000 --> 01:31:20,100 AND FOR A WHILE, JOHNNY WAS FAITHFUL 2157 01:31:20,200 --> 01:31:22,500 AND HAPPY WITH HIS SIX-HOLE ARRANGEMENT. 2158 01:31:22,500 --> 01:31:24,200 BUT THESE GIRLS WERE SNEAKY. 2159 01:31:24,200 --> 01:31:25,900 IT WAS ALL JUST A SETUP 2160 01:31:25,900 --> 01:31:29,000 FOR THE FINAL PHASE OF THE NUCLEAR OPTION. 2161 01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,500 ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH. 2162 01:31:30,500 --> 01:31:31,700 THIS IS A GOOD THING. 2163 01:31:31,700 --> 01:31:34,500 I KNOW. THIS IS A GREAT THING! 2164 01:31:34,500 --> 01:31:37,400 OHH. VERONICA? 2165 01:31:37,400 --> 01:31:40,100 YEAH, OPERATION CHEATING HEART IS A GO. 2166 01:31:40,100 --> 01:31:41,700 TELL HER TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE. 2167 01:31:41,700 --> 01:31:43,200 NOT THAT HE'S GONNA TAKE IT, BUT... 2168 01:31:43,200 --> 01:31:45,800 GO EASY ON HIM, OKAY? 2169 01:31:49,000 --> 01:31:51,600 ALL RIGHT, VERONICA, SO BASICALLY YOU'RE GOING TO APPLY IT TO THE WHOLE SCAR 2170 01:31:51,600 --> 01:31:54,100 AND JUST WAIT FOR IT TO DRY BEFORE YOU GET DRESSED. 2171 01:31:54,100 --> 01:31:55,800 IT'S PRETTY SIMPLE. HERE, LET ME. 2172 01:32:02,800 --> 01:32:06,200 UM, WHICH ONE SHOULD I PUT IT ON? 2173 01:32:06,200 --> 01:32:07,900 BOTH. 2174 01:32:07,900 --> 01:32:09,800 I THINK I PUT TOO MUCH. 2175 01:32:09,800 --> 01:32:12,100 THAT'S FINE. JUST APPLY A THIN LAYER. 2176 01:32:12,100 --> 01:32:16,100 NOT SURE I'M DOING IT PROPERLY. JOHNNY? 2177 01:32:17,500 --> 01:32:18,900 OKAY. 2178 01:32:22,800 --> 01:32:25,900 ( moaning, laughs ) 2179 01:32:25,900 --> 01:32:29,500 NOW I GET IT. OH, SO GOOD. 2180 01:32:29,500 --> 01:32:31,800 IT'LL FORM A PROTECTIVE SEAL OVER THE EPIDERMIS. 2181 01:32:31,800 --> 01:32:34,800 YOU'RE SO CLEVER, JOHNNY. 2182 01:32:34,800 --> 01:32:37,100 VERONICA, I DON'T SEE A SCAR. 2183 01:32:37,100 --> 01:32:38,200 WHAT? 2184 01:32:38,200 --> 01:32:39,300 THERE'S NO SCAR. 2185 01:32:39,300 --> 01:32:40,800 THERE'S A LITTLE SLIT. 2186 01:32:40,800 --> 01:32:43,600 THERE'S A SLIT? WHERE? 2187 01:32:43,600 --> 01:32:45,200 HERE. 2188 01:32:45,200 --> 01:32:47,100 ? HEY 2189 01:32:47,100 --> 01:32:48,900 FUCK IT. 2190 01:32:48,900 --> 01:32:51,700 Max: THOSE BITCHES GOT JOHNNY GOOD. 2191 01:32:55,000 --> 01:32:56,800 THEY HAD HIM CHEATING ON VIDEO, 2192 01:32:56,800 --> 01:32:58,700 AND WHEN THE JUDGE SAW THE TAPE, 2193 01:32:58,700 --> 01:33:00,600 HE GAVE HALF HIS SHIT TO LITTLE WENDY FOR ALIMONY, 2194 01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:03,100 AND THE OTHER HALF TO BIG WENDY FOR CHILD SUPPORT. 2195 01:33:03,100 --> 01:33:05,000 AND NOW THEY LIVE VERY COMFORTABLY. 2196 01:33:05,000 --> 01:33:08,300 AND DAMN...THAT WAS ONE WELL-DRESSED BABY! 2197 01:33:08,300 --> 01:33:10,000 BUT JOHNNY MADE THE BEST OF IT. 2198 01:33:10,000 --> 01:33:12,600 HE PIMPED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT KID. 2199 01:33:12,600 --> 01:33:14,300 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 2200 01:33:14,300 --> 01:33:16,200 MY PLEASURE. YOU LOOK GREAT, BY THE WAY. 2201 01:33:16,200 --> 01:33:18,600 Max: GLEN TRIED TO FOLLOW IN JOHNNY'S FOOTSTEPS... 2202 01:33:18,600 --> 01:33:20,200 ...HOW MUCH YOU'VE SPENT ON IT... 2203 01:33:20,200 --> 01:33:22,000 BUT NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE TOUCH. 2204 01:33:22,000 --> 01:33:23,300 IT'S JUST A SERVICE I PROVIDE MY CLIENTS. 2205 01:33:23,300 --> 01:33:24,600 ARE YOU KIDDING? 2206 01:33:24,600 --> 01:33:26,000 EW, APPLY THEM ON YOUR OWN TITS! 2207 01:33:26,000 --> 01:33:28,600 WELL, BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A BOOB JOB. 2208 01:33:28,600 --> 01:33:32,000 Max: YVONNE FINALLY GOT HER OTHER TITTY. 2209 01:33:32,000 --> 01:33:34,900 IT'S ALREADY PAID FOR ITSELF. 2210 01:33:36,800 --> 01:33:39,700 LOOK AT THEM TITTIES! 2211 01:33:39,700 --> 01:33:41,100 WHAT THE FUCK! 2212 01:33:41,100 --> 01:33:43,900 Max: HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS STILL RAGE. 2213 01:33:43,900 --> 01:33:45,900 ( blows whistle ) EVERYBODY, OUT! 2214 01:33:45,900 --> 01:33:47,900 YOU DON'T WANNA FUCK WITH THE T.O.B. 2215 01:33:47,900 --> 01:33:50,000 LET'S GO, GIRLS. 2216 01:33:50,000 --> 01:33:53,000 WELL, I FEEL A LITTLE BIT BETTER THAT YOU'RE SORRY... 2217 01:33:53,000 --> 01:33:55,300 THE WENDYS EVENTUALLY CAME CLEAN ABOUT THE FRAME JOB, 2218 01:33:55,300 --> 01:33:57,600 AND COURTNEY QUIT THE T.O.B. 2219 01:33:57,600 --> 01:33:58,800 I JUST FOUND THEM. EW. 2220 01:33:58,800 --> 01:34:00,900 AGAINST JOHNNY'S ADVICE, 2221 01:34:00,900 --> 01:34:03,200 AARON FESSED UP ABOUT THE GIRL AT THE PARTY. 2222 01:34:03,200 --> 01:34:07,600 TURNS OUT HE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE WHO "MADE A MISTAKE." 2223 01:34:07,600 --> 01:34:09,800 I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU, TOO, SO THERE! WHAT?! 2224 01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,300 WITH THE WENDYS OUT OF THE PICTURE, 2225 01:34:12,300 --> 01:34:15,900 LOVE WAS ABLE TO FIND A WAY. 2226 01:34:15,900 --> 01:34:20,000 AND THAT'S WHY WE HAVING THIS BANGING-ASS BACHELOR PARTY! 2227 01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:22,300 YOU KNOW, YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO FIND A GOOD ONE, AND I FOUND A GOOD ONE. 2228 01:34:22,300 --> 01:34:24,000 YOU DID. I GOTTA ADMIT, YOU DID. SHE'S A COOL CHICK. 2229 01:34:24,000 --> 01:34:25,300 THANKS, MAN. I LOVE YOU, MAN. 2230 01:34:25,300 --> 01:34:27,100 I KNOW I GIVE YOU A HARD TIME, MAN, 2231 01:34:27,100 --> 01:34:28,800 BUT I THINK IT'S COOL THAT YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MARRIED. 2232 01:34:28,800 --> 01:34:31,100 LET'S GET DOWN, MAN. 2233 01:34:31,100 --> 01:34:34,200 Max: AND ME... I'VE GOT A DRINK IN ONE HAND, 2234 01:34:34,200 --> 01:34:36,700 A JOINT IN THE OTHER, CHICKS ARE JOCKING ME, 2235 01:34:36,700 --> 01:34:39,100 MY BEST FRIEND'S MARRYING A GREAT GIRL, 2236 01:34:39,100 --> 01:34:43,400 AND I'M IN THE SHOWER WITH FOUR BUTT-ASS NAKED CHICKS! 2237 01:34:43,400 --> 01:34:45,100 CAN IT GET ANY BETTER THAN THAT? 2238 01:34:45,100 --> 01:34:46,800 I LOVE MY LIFE! 2239 01:34:56,900 --> 01:34:58,200 ? HEY 2240 01:35:06,100 --> 01:35:07,400 ? HEY 2241 01:35:07,400 --> 01:35:09,200 ? "H," "O" 2242 01:35:09,200 --> 01:35:11,000 ? DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2243 01:35:11,000 --> 01:35:13,100 ? "W," "O," "O," "D" 2244 01:35:13,100 --> 01:35:15,100 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2245 01:35:15,100 --> 01:35:16,700 ? "H," "O" 2246 01:35:16,700 --> 01:35:18,700 ? DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2247 01:35:18,700 --> 01:35:20,400 ? "W," "O," "O," "D" 2248 01:35:20,400 --> 01:35:22,700 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2249 01:35:37,200 --> 01:35:38,900 ? "H," "O" 2250 01:35:38,900 --> 01:35:40,400 ? DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2251 01:35:40,400 --> 01:35:42,400 ? "W," "O," "O," "D" 2252 01:35:42,400 --> 01:35:44,400 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2253 01:35:44,400 --> 01:35:46,100 ? "H," "O" 2254 01:35:46,100 --> 01:35:48,100 ? DOUBLE "L," "Y" 2255 01:35:48,100 --> 01:35:50,000 ? "W," "O," "O," "D" 2256 01:35:50,000 --> 01:35:52,400 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2257 01:35:57,300 --> 01:35:59,700 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2258 01:36:12,000 --> 01:36:14,400 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2259 01:36:19,800 --> 01:36:22,000 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2260 01:36:26,900 --> 01:36:29,200 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2261 01:36:38,800 --> 01:36:40,300 ? HOLLYWOOD SEX WARS 2262 01:36:40,300 --> 01:36:42,000 ? GRRREEDY 2263 01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:44,400 ? IT'S THE KOREATOWN ODDITY ? 2264 01:36:44,400 --> 01:36:46,100 ? OBVIOUSLY THEY'LL PUT YOU UP ? 2265 01:36:46,100 --> 01:36:48,100 ? ON THIS WHOLE HOLLYWOOD THING ? 2266 01:36:48,100 --> 01:36:49,900 ? SPECIFICALLY THE SEX WARS 2267 01:36:49,900 --> 01:36:51,900 ? GOT STRIPPERS STACKED ON TOP OF US ? 2268 01:36:51,900 --> 01:36:53,900 ? BUT THIS IS NOT CONNECT FOUR ? 2269 01:36:53,900 --> 01:36:55,300 ? IT'S STRIP TWISTER 2270 01:36:55,400 --> 01:36:57,300 ? NOW WE PARTY UP 2271 01:36:57,300 --> 01:36:59,000 ? BUT IT WASN'T ALWAYS LIKE THIS ? 2272 01:36:59,000 --> 01:37:00,800 ? WHEN CHICKS WAS MORE FRIGID ? 2273 01:37:00,800 --> 01:37:02,900 ? THAN INTENSE WINTERS AND ANTARCTICA ? 2274 01:37:02,900 --> 01:37:06,000 ? BUT EVER SINCE WE GOT ALL OF THE KNOWLEDGE FROM ? 2275 01:37:06,000 --> 01:37:08,500 ? JOHNNY EYELASH, SLOWLY AS THE TIME PASSED ? 2276 01:37:08,500 --> 01:37:10,200 ? WE FELT BON VIVANTS ? 2277 01:37:10,200 --> 01:37:12,000 ? YOU KNOW, MACADOCIOUS ? 2278 01:37:12,000 --> 01:37:13,800 ? WITH THESE BROADS UPON OUR NUTS ? 2279 01:37:13,800 --> 01:37:15,400 ? SO THE WENDYS GOT BEEF ? 2280 01:37:15,400 --> 01:37:17,300 ? AND THEY DON'T WANT IT ON TWO BUNS ? 2281 01:37:17,300 --> 01:37:19,400 ? THEY'RE THE CAPTAINS OF CLUB T.O.B.'s ? 2282 01:37:19,400 --> 01:37:21,100 ? HOLLYWOOD CHICK ALLIANCE 2283 01:37:21,100 --> 01:37:23,000 ? WE GO BACK AND FORTH 2284 01:37:23,000 --> 01:37:24,800 ? LIKE PING-PONG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS IN CHINA ? 2285 01:37:24,800 --> 01:37:26,900 ? WITH THE ABORTION EXTORTION ? 2286 01:37:26,900 --> 01:37:28,500 ? AND THE NUCLEAR OPTION 2287 01:37:28,500 --> 01:37:30,400 ? TO MAKE US BOYS WANNA FORFEIT ? 2288 01:37:30,400 --> 01:37:32,300 ? AND LOOK STUPID IN THE PROCESS ? 2289 01:37:32,300 --> 01:37:34,400 ? BUT I'M STILL SQUEEZING BREASTESES ? 2290 01:37:34,400 --> 01:37:36,400 ? YOUR GUESS IS I'M A PLASTIC SURGEON ? 2291 01:37:36,400 --> 01:37:38,500 ? NOT EXACTLY, BUT THEY DEFINITELY ? 2292 01:37:38,500 --> 01:37:43,200 ? GOT MY PACKAGE TURGID, TURGID, TURGID... ? 169375