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1
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,132
Miss Dean?
2
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,049
Miss Dean?
3
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,884
Sorry?
4
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:55,137
What are the three polymorphic qualities
of the sunflower?
5
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,637
Polymorphic qualities?
6
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,057
It can be more than one thing.
7
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,062
Uh... Right.
8
00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:06,147
Yes, uh, the sunflower...
9
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:07,649
is a food.
10
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:10,855
It is also, um...
11
00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:13,662
an anti-inflammatory medicine,
12
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,124
and it is also...
13
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,448
quite fetching.
14
00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:23,350
Well, not bad for not paying attention.
15
00:01:24,626 --> 00:01:26,956
Yes, the sunflower is food and medicine,
16
00:01:27,587 --> 00:01:30,087
but it is also a hyperaccumulator,
17
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,973
which means it can remove
18
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,680
radiation and heavy metals
from contaminated soil.
19
00:01:35,303 --> 00:01:36,853
So it is a very powerful...
20
00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:39,519
and yes, very pretty...
21
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:41,600
flower,
22
00:01:42,644 --> 00:01:43,734
my queen.
23
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,939
Hyperaccumulator.
24
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,872
Okay. So, you can see it's bringing up
all of the heavy metals.
25
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,450
The lead, the zinc, the nickel...
26
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,976
Black alert. All students and staff,
27
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,232
there was a tree nut incident on campus.
28
00:02:28,898 --> 00:02:32,278
While homemade, gluten-free,
flax meal cupcakes might seem harmless,
29
00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,702
there are invisible dangers
in every kitchen.
30
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,988
Remember your ABC's.
31
00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:39,283
A, allergies are serious.
32
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:41,997
B, bring packaged food,
that is labeled nut free...
33
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,368
- Killin' it, Sam.
- Thanks.
34
00:02:43,454 --> 00:02:45,624
And is not made on shared equipment
with nuts.
35
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,169
C, carry your EpiPen.
36
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:52,340
Luckily, the afflicted individual
only experienced moderate anaphylaxis
37
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,262
before being treated by Nurse Megan.
38
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,603
Remember, serious allergies
don't only affect your fellow students,
39
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,218
but staff as well.
40
00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:02,885
You never know who might be susceptible.
41
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,847
Now, let's all enjoy a safe,
nut-free pep rally.
42
00:03:07,228 --> 00:03:08,268
Buzz! Buzz!
43
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,105
Too much?
44
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,618
- Hey.
- Hi.
45
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:31,960
Homecoming, y'all!
46
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:32,875
Whoo!
47
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:34,762
- Put them on notice!
- Whoo!
48
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,259
- We gonna play!
- Whoo!
49
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,375
Give...
50
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,815
I'm starving.
51
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,572
Let's get Postmates.
52
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,779
What do you fancy?
53
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,074
Um...
54
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,158
The Cheesecake Factory?
55
00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,906
You always want the Cheesecake Factory.
56
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,655
- They have something for everyone.
- We're getting ramen.
57
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,918
- No. It has hard boiled eggs.
- You can get it without the eggs.
58
00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:36,540
But it has seaweed.
59
00:05:36,627 --> 00:05:38,377
You can get it without the seaweed.
60
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,470
You know, the Cheesecake Factory has soup.
61
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,759
It's time to expand your horizons, Josh.
62
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,480
What are you ordering?
63
00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:54,311
Is it ramen?
64
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,396
Sam, I really don't like ramen.
65
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,742
Or is it Mexican?
'Cause I don't like Mexican either.
66
00:06:02,445 --> 00:06:04,445
I like nachos, but they don't travel.
67
00:06:05,990 --> 00:06:07,030
Well, I don't like sushi.
68
00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:11,832
I don't like Chinese. I don't like
Thai food. Lemongrass is disgusting.
69
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:13,288
Or falafel.
70
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,375
No Indian.
71
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:19,544
No curry.
72
00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,172
No yogurt.
73
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:23,757
Nothing green.
74
00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:25,048
No phuh.
75
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,505
Or pho?
76
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,966
Am I saying it right? Pha?
77
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,019
Whatever it is, I don't like it.
78
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:35,729
Are you seriously not gonna tell me
what you ordered?
79
00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:41,819
You're just gonna have to wait 43 minutes
until our driver Wyatt arrives.
80
00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:44,778
So...
81
00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:48,236
what could we possibly do in 43 minutes?
82
00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,703
Are we...
83
00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,872
Are we really doing sex?
84
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,040
We are really doing sex.
85
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,213
And it's not the weed?
86
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:03,296
No.
87
00:07:04,090 --> 00:07:07,340
I mean, it's a smidge of the weed,
but more of the I want to.
88
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,560
Mm... On a Friday, before lunch?
89
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,395
- Are you changing the Postmates order?
- No.
90
00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,651
This is a consent app.
91
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:27,114
It lets each person know what the other
is willing or not willing to do.
92
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,449
This is a really long list.
93
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,577
Yeah, well, there's a lot
of different positions,
94
00:07:36,664 --> 00:07:37,714
different appetites.
95
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,750
Different people get aroused
by different things.
96
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,134
What's pegging?
97
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,710
You wouldn't be interested in that.
98
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,205
A Lucky Pierre?
99
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,297
We can't even do that.
100
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,625
Oh, Strawberry Shortcake.
101
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,006
What's that?
102
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:50,973
It's not the same
as the Cheesecake Factory.
103
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,053
Huh.
104
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:54,347
Okay.
105
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,142
Josh.
106
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:58,602
- Josh.
- Yeah?
107
00:07:58,686 --> 00:07:59,686
Come on.
108
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,033
Do you want to have sex with me?
109
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,361
Yes.
110
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,236
Do I want to have sex with you?
111
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,115
Yes.
112
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,486
We have achieved consent.
113
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,048
Wait.
114
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:29,432
Hang on.
115
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,509
Just a sec.
116
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,398
- Oh, your mom's calling.
- Decline.
117
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,531
She's calling again.
118
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,639
Do you think she knows we ditched?
119
00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,947
I don't know. Maybe. Probably not.
120
00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,409
Might she be coming back early?
121
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:02,542
Uh... No, she's in San Diego today.
122
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,915
Even if she left now,
she wouldn't be back 'till...
123
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,002
what? Eight?
124
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,173
Oh, she's texted.
125
00:09:10,716 --> 00:09:11,716
What does it say?
126
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:13,388
"Call your dad."
127
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:16,968
Do you want to call your dad, Josh?
128
00:09:20,142 --> 00:09:21,142
Josh?
129
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,305
What are you doing in there?
130
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,344
Nice sheets.
131
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,957
Oh, um, they're satin.
132
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,760
I had a 20% off coupon
at Bed Bath & Beyond.
133
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:54,802
I also got them in taupe,
if you prefer that.
134
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:55,715
No.
135
00:09:55,803 --> 00:09:57,603
These are just brilliant.
136
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:00,311
Cool.
137
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,805
Oh, the candle's rosewater scented.
138
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,691
Oh! Yes it is.
139
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,823
You have achieved peak chill, my friend.
140
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:25,787
Oh...
141
00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:53,610
- Here.
- Oh.
142
00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:55,195
Thanks.
143
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,842
Here.
144
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,351
Thanks.
145
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:51,668
Here.
146
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:30,457
Is it in?
147
00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:32,375
No.
148
00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:35,709
Okay, um...
149
00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:37,335
Oh. How about now?
150
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,423
Uh...
151
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,091
No.
152
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:44,223
I'm sorry. I keep slipping.
153
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:45,845
Yeah, it's the sheets.
154
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,481
Maybe we should switch to taupe.
155
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,852
I don't think that's the issue.
156
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,395
Okay, um...
157
00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:55,073
- Maybe if you just...
- I... Okay.
158
00:12:56,358 --> 00:12:57,398
Let me do this.
159
00:13:06,494 --> 00:13:08,624
Okay. Okay.
160
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:10,455
Okay.
161
00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:18,634
Now's the time
when you move around and stuff.
162
00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:19,554
Great.
163
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,972
- Got it.
- Yeah.
164
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:22,884
Okay.
165
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:24,552
Oh!
166
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:26,465
Fuck!
167
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,727
- I'm really sorry I broke your face.
- I'm fine.
168
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,810
Let me look.
169
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:35,899
- It's still bleeding.
- Okay, yeah, just...
170
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,271
just give it a minute.
171
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,778
Sam, we should go to the ER.
172
00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,198
Then our parents will know we ditched.
173
00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,491
- You might have a bruise.
- Yeah.
174
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,948
Nothing makeup can't fix.
175
00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:49,749
But you're homecoming queen.
176
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:52,252
Gender neutral royalty.
177
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,498
No.
178
00:13:53,874 --> 00:13:55,174
No, definitely a queen.
179
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,791
I've been practicing my wave.
180
00:13:59,004 --> 00:14:00,304
That's very elegant.
181
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,381
I am British.
182
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,763
You know, you're not taking this
very seriously.
183
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,681
It's just a thing that happened.
184
00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,472
No, you made this happen with your video.
185
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,926
I just wanted to make people feel good.
186
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:16,055
I didn't mean to generate a following,
or become an influencer,
187
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,266
or a queen.
188
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,396
You know when my dad
used to take me hunting,
189
00:14:19,483 --> 00:14:21,073
he'd tell me Arthurian legends.
190
00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:22,609
Now, I hated hunting,
191
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,695
but I liked pretending
that I was a knight,
192
00:14:25,447 --> 00:14:26,447
King Arthur.
193
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:27,906
I'd make myself a sword
194
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,792
and a shield with three crowns,
195
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:31,951
just like Arthur.
196
00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:37,418
I'd go on quests through the forest
searching for my Guinevere.
197
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:40,091
Hey. Guinevere was Lancelot's sidepiece.
198
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,760
Only in some versions, yes.
199
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,008
In others, she was kidnapped
by King Melwas.
200
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,638
King Arthur spent a year gathering an army
just to rescue her.
201
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:53,563
But Arthur and Guinevere fought monsters,
and witches, and Amazons.
202
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,019
Guinevere wanted to save the world.
203
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:00,403
You wanted to save the world.
204
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:04,400
You are a queen.
205
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,371
I'm sorry I broke your face.
206
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,050
It'll get better,
207
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:22,921
the sex.
208
00:15:23,005 --> 00:15:24,755
It's just those sheets, man.
209
00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,760
- I thought satin would be romantic.
- Yeah. Very, very romantic.
210
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:31,854
Unfortunately, one cannot achieve thrust
against satin.
211
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,732
I didn't think you wanted to look at Yoda
or Luke Skywalker.
212
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,942
You know sex doesn't have to be on a bed.
213
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,023
It could be...
214
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:43,900
on a table,
215
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,360
a chair,
216
00:15:46,820 --> 00:15:47,820
a sofa,
217
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,815
the kitchen counter,
if you're both the right height,
218
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:52,908
the bathroom, the shower,
219
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,163
but not every shower.
220
00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:55,914
The one with the bench or the cubbyhole.
221
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,462
What you're really looking for
is leverage.
222
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,709
That is a lot of places.
223
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,924
Not really.
224
00:16:03,587 --> 00:16:05,587
I mean, I haven't had sex...
225
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,721
uh, on a boat, or a train,
226
00:16:09,259 --> 00:16:10,759
most modes of transportation.
227
00:16:11,762 --> 00:16:13,262
Blimps. No blimps.
228
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,642
Not that one does much blimp riding.
229
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,522
I mean, zeppelins might come
back into fashion,
230
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:21,062
but I don't think I'll ever be
into public fornication.
231
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,614
Your face has gone all pouty.
232
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,449
I'm... I'm fine.
233
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,409
No one's first time is good.
234
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,832
I thought it was our first time.
235
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,166
The satin sheets.
236
00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:43,211
- Of course.
- I thought this was special.
237
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,293
It is special.
238
00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:45,836
It's not exactly how I pictured it.
239
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,511
Satin sheets and a broken hymen?
240
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,219
How many people have you slept with?
241
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:51,934
Was it with anyone that I know?
242
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:53,758
Does it matter?
243
00:16:58,767 --> 00:16:59,767
No.
244
00:17:00,102 --> 00:17:01,222
Okay, that pause was so big,
245
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:04,040
they're gonna use it as the mansion
on the next season of The Bachelor.
246
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,624
It doesn't matter, okay?
Just forget it.
247
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:08,855
The peas are melting.
248
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,447
Twenty-two.
249
00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:16,580
I've slept with 22 people.
250
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,203
Wait.
251
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:21,664
Thirty...
252
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:23,750
ish.
253
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,045
Or was it 40?
254
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:29,839
Forty-three.
255
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:32,675
Fifty blokes...
256
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,297
and girls,
257
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:36,176
and a contortionist from Cirque du Soleil,
258
00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:37,805
and Hoyles.
259
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,474
Twice.
260
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,225
It's just a question.
261
00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:43,892
- I'm just curious.
- Does it change how you see me?
262
00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,437
I just don't know why you didn't tell me
about this, Sam.
263
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,033
I don't know why I would.
264
00:17:48,108 --> 00:17:49,228
Because we're together?
265
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:51,568
It's not 1950. I'm not your girl.
266
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,703
We're what, then?
267
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,158
You are such a child.
268
00:18:00,954 --> 00:18:02,754
The consent app has my sexual history.
269
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:05,794
Take a gander
if you're so fucking curious.
270
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:09,248
I may not be a virgin, Josh,
271
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,301
but you did make me bleed.
272
00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:17,970
That...
273
00:18:18,430 --> 00:18:19,850
That's my mom's bedroom!
274
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:22,809
Sam?
275
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,229
Sam!
276
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,373
What are you doing?
277
00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:03,082
Postmates.
278
00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:06,871
Hey.
279
00:20:07,372 --> 00:20:08,422
Good afternoon.
280
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:12,169
Um... Sorry it took me so long to get...
281
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,048
You ordered, like, a lot of food.
282
00:20:15,130 --> 00:20:16,470
Could you take it to the kitchen?
283
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:18,424
It's just there.
284
00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:20,971
Oh, yeah.
285
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,204
One more.
286
00:20:49,748 --> 00:20:50,748
Sam.
287
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:02,391
You guys must be really hungry.
288
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:03,469
Yeah.
289
00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,469
I'm, like, so, so starving.
290
00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:14,983
Okay. Um...
291
00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:17,483
All right.
292
00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,252
Okay, that's, uh...
293
00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,042
everything.
294
00:21:36,336 --> 00:21:39,006
Do you want me to, you know,
make sure you
295
00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,089
got it all?
296
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,310
Yeah.
297
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:00,494
I'm gonna go.
298
00:22:04,197 --> 00:22:06,367
An absolute pleasure, darling. Ta-ta!
299
00:22:09,786 --> 00:22:10,786
Okay.
300
00:22:12,831 --> 00:22:13,831
This...
301
00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,544
is Bazun Chet Jiao.
302
00:22:17,669 --> 00:22:19,669
Batsun Chet Jow.
303
00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:20,875
Bazun Chet Jiao.
304
00:22:26,428 --> 00:22:27,428
What is it?
305
00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,428
It's Burmese shrimp.
306
00:22:36,355 --> 00:22:37,355
Right?
307
00:22:37,397 --> 00:22:38,227
It's good.
308
00:22:38,315 --> 00:22:39,515
- Okay, next.
- Yeah.
309
00:22:39,816 --> 00:22:41,396
This dip, here?
310
00:22:42,235 --> 00:22:43,525
Armenian muhammara.
311
00:22:45,280 --> 00:22:46,280
Try that.
312
00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:51,702
Mm.
313
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:57,246
Oh. This Shandong beef roll
will change your life forever.
314
00:23:06,385 --> 00:23:07,885
- That's good.
- The best.
315
00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:10,256
Wait, what's in here?
316
00:23:16,144 --> 00:23:18,024
Peanut cup fudge ripple...
317
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:21,066
from The Cheesecake Factory.
318
00:23:22,442 --> 00:23:24,492
You know, just in case you hated all this.
319
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:28,200
You're smart and sophisticated
and can say stuff like...
320
00:23:28,698 --> 00:23:30,578
Bazun Jet Jow.
321
00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:32,699
Bazun Chet Jiao.
322
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,206
And I like The Cheesecake Factory.
323
00:23:38,542 --> 00:23:40,542
You, Josh, are real...
324
00:23:41,711 --> 00:23:44,091
and terrifically uncomplicated.
325
00:23:49,719 --> 00:23:53,639
Hey, were you really going to do anything
with that Postmates driver?
326
00:23:57,727 --> 00:23:58,727
I wanna go swimming.
327
00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:05,322
You know, we're supposed to wait an hour
to go in the pool after we eat.
328
00:24:21,626 --> 00:24:23,586
No, please. I like it.
329
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:31,886
I love you.
330
00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,977
Yeah, don't say that.
331
00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:49,235
No, but I do.
332
00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:55,285
You don't know enough about me
to know if you love me.
333
00:25:02,167 --> 00:25:03,207
Whoa, are...
334
00:25:04,377 --> 00:25:05,377
Are you crying?
335
00:25:05,837 --> 00:25:06,837
No.
336
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:08,672
It's just...
337
00:25:09,424 --> 00:25:11,804
everyone has this idea about me...
338
00:25:12,761 --> 00:25:14,181
but no one knows me.
339
00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:19,063
I mean, they want me to carry roses
on the homecoming float.
340
00:25:20,268 --> 00:25:22,148
- Roses.
- What's wrong with roses?
341
00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:26,229
A homecoming queen with roses.
My sash should say #obvious.
342
00:25:26,733 --> 00:25:28,653
Oh, being homecoming queen is a big deal.
343
00:25:29,611 --> 00:25:30,781
Why are you hating on it?
344
00:25:33,114 --> 00:25:35,534
I only won because of that stupid video.
345
00:25:37,953 --> 00:25:39,293
Everyone loves your video.
346
00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:42,459
Have you read the comments?
347
00:25:44,584 --> 00:25:46,594
@LoboLover said,
348
00:25:46,670 --> 00:25:49,590
"I bet Sam Dean thinks her British accent
makes her sound charming,
349
00:25:49,673 --> 00:25:53,013
but really she sounds like
Arya Stark's incest baby."
350
00:25:54,427 --> 00:25:57,097
User 5318008 said,
351
00:25:57,556 --> 00:26:00,806
"I like Sam's video.
The only thing it's missing is tits...
352
00:26:01,268 --> 00:26:02,268
because she has none."
353
00:26:02,310 --> 00:26:04,400
Those are just haters and trolls.
354
00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:07,068
Everyone needed to see
how amazing you are.
355
00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:08,728
But that's not me, Josh.
356
00:26:09,985 --> 00:26:12,945
It's the best parts of me cut together
with great music.
357
00:26:16,783 --> 00:26:18,623
I wish you hadn't posted it.
358
00:26:29,588 --> 00:26:31,298
What kind of flower
would you rather carry?
359
00:26:39,055 --> 00:26:40,215
A sunflower.
360
00:26:46,187 --> 00:26:48,267
Sunflowers are polymorphs.
361
00:26:49,065 --> 00:26:51,145
They can be more than one thing at once.
362
00:26:52,068 --> 00:26:53,818
They're food, medicine,
363
00:26:53,903 --> 00:26:56,623
and they can even
absorb heavy metals and radiation.
364
00:26:58,199 --> 00:27:00,449
We, you and I, Josh,
365
00:27:01,369 --> 00:27:03,039
we've got to be sunflowers.
366
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:06,630
This is the time
367
00:27:06,708 --> 00:27:08,288
we're supposed to experiment,
368
00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:10,253
find who we are.
369
00:27:11,755 --> 00:27:14,045
But how can I when I am terrified
370
00:27:14,132 --> 00:27:17,512
that some asshole out there is going
to post a comment that shreds my soul?
371
00:27:19,721 --> 00:27:23,521
I should be able to fuck whoever I want,
whenever I want without judgment.
372
00:27:26,186 --> 00:27:28,806
Before today, you thought I was a virgin,
373
00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:31,193
and now I'm what?
374
00:27:31,691 --> 00:27:33,111
The neighborhood bicycle?
375
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,317
Queen Guinevere, the Skunked of Avalon?
376
00:27:37,447 --> 00:27:40,367
Why do you get to be
a stud if you bang me,
377
00:27:40,450 --> 00:27:43,580
but I'm an easy fuck oven
if I have sex with anyone else?
378
00:27:47,415 --> 00:27:49,285
You want a girly-friend.
379
00:27:50,502 --> 00:27:51,542
A sweetheart.
380
00:27:52,462 --> 00:27:56,052
A blow-up doll who will do the things
that you want her to do.
381
00:27:57,717 --> 00:27:59,087
Well, guess what, Wheeler?
382
00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,141
I might wanna be polyamorous.
383
00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:04,312
I might wanna join a thruple,
384
00:28:04,391 --> 00:28:06,981
or be asexual, or demi, or gyne.
385
00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:12,152
The dusty, old names
like "virgin" and "slut"
386
00:28:12,607 --> 00:28:15,107
were made by men to put women
387
00:28:15,193 --> 00:28:17,903
in Barbie doll packages
with easy to read labels.
388
00:28:19,406 --> 00:28:20,406
Well,
389
00:28:21,991 --> 00:28:23,031
I'm no queen.
390
00:28:28,164 --> 00:28:30,294
I am not a queen.
391
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:38,012
I am not a queen.
392
00:28:39,092 --> 00:28:40,092
Not a queen,
393
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:41,800
or a slag,
394
00:28:42,470 --> 00:28:46,100
or the saint that everyone seems
to think I am on social media.
395
00:28:53,231 --> 00:28:54,231
I'm a kid.
396
00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,566
I don't know who I am.
397
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:08,120
I know who you are.
398
00:29:10,373 --> 00:29:11,503
Who am I?
399
00:29:14,127 --> 00:29:15,297
You're Sam Dean.
400
00:29:35,732 --> 00:29:36,782
You okay?
401
00:29:37,358 --> 00:29:38,358
Yeah.
402
00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:09,472
- It's your mom.
- Decline.
403
00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:11,813
She's called, like,
four times this afternoon.
404
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,480
- I'm gonna pick up.
- No.
405
00:30:13,561 --> 00:30:15,861
- Don't.
- Hello, Mrs. Wheeler.
406
00:30:15,939 --> 00:30:19,109
No, sorry, Josh is absent
and can't come to the phone right now,
407
00:30:19,192 --> 00:30:23,822
and as you know, I am the reigning queen
of Glendale, and my noble knight is...
408
00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:27,329
Yeah. Yeah, he's here.
409
00:30:31,496 --> 00:30:33,666
Hey, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call you back.
410
00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:47,851
What's happened?
411
00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:52,059
Josh, what's going on?
412
00:30:53,393 --> 00:30:54,393
Josh?
413
00:30:54,894 --> 00:30:55,894
Is everything okay?
414
00:31:31,097 --> 00:31:32,137
My dad...
415
00:31:37,103 --> 00:31:38,443
My dad died.
416
00:31:42,191 --> 00:31:44,111
Josh, I am so sorry. I...
417
00:31:46,112 --> 00:31:47,662
Is there anything I can do?
418
00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:53,285
You're gonna be late
for your homecoming game.
419
00:31:54,412 --> 00:31:55,252
I can miss it.
420
00:31:55,330 --> 00:31:56,330
Just go.
421
00:31:57,123 --> 00:31:58,123
Please.
422
00:32:00,919 --> 00:32:03,759
- I don't think you should be alone.
- I mean it, Sam. Go!
423
00:32:05,506 --> 00:32:06,376
Leave me alone!
424
00:32:06,466 --> 00:32:07,506
What?
425
00:32:07,592 --> 00:32:09,392
Why are you mad at me?
426
00:32:11,179 --> 00:32:12,429
He was dying.
427
00:32:13,097 --> 00:32:15,927
And I was too distracted trying to get
into your pants.
428
00:32:18,144 --> 00:32:19,144
That's not fair.
429
00:32:19,187 --> 00:32:20,647
You think you're so smart...
430
00:32:21,356 --> 00:32:24,276
and experienced, that the world
is this amazing place, but it's not.
431
00:32:26,152 --> 00:32:27,322
People are awful.
432
00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:31,318
And you have no idea what pain
and rejection feel like.
433
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:35,164
You have no idea how real people feel.
434
00:32:35,244 --> 00:32:36,294
How I feel!
435
00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:41,247
You have all of these friends
436
00:32:41,334 --> 00:32:43,804
and people that love you,
genuinely love you.
437
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:48,679
You're beautiful. You're homecoming queen.
438
00:32:50,134 --> 00:32:51,134
Yeah.
439
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:53,096
I feel so awful for you.
440
00:32:54,097 --> 00:32:55,557
Your life must be terrible.
441
00:32:58,142 --> 00:33:00,402
You have everything in the world
that normal people want,
442
00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:02,108
and you're still complaining.
443
00:33:03,856 --> 00:33:06,316
I mean, come on!
Do you even hear yourself?
444
00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:11,204
You're upset.
445
00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:13,988
You don't mean any of that.
446
00:33:15,201 --> 00:33:16,201
Yeah.
447
00:33:17,537 --> 00:33:19,207
Why don't you go and fuck Andy...
448
00:33:21,249 --> 00:33:22,419
or Scooter...
449
00:33:23,459 --> 00:33:24,459
or Noah?
450
00:33:27,547 --> 00:33:28,877
Fucking Hoyles!
451
00:33:33,011 --> 00:33:34,301
You looked on my phone.
452
00:33:36,723 --> 00:33:38,393
You looked at the consent app!
453
00:33:38,891 --> 00:33:39,891
Josh!
454
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:44,814
You wanna know who you are?
455
00:33:47,567 --> 00:33:49,187
You're a slut, Samaira.
456
00:34:33,696 --> 00:34:35,816
You look like a homecomin' queen!
457
00:34:38,576 --> 00:34:41,576
We're supposed to be spending this time
finding out who we really are,
458
00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:45,921
and you, my friend, are the only one
who's brave enough to try.
459
00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:47,669
That is why you're royalty.
460
00:34:47,752 --> 00:34:49,052
I'm just tryin' to survive.
461
00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:51,046
I got friends.
462
00:34:51,464 --> 00:34:53,844
Finding that one person who really gets...
463
00:35:00,306 --> 00:35:02,766
There are so many conditions
on unconditional love.
29036
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