Original subtitles

(birds cawing)

- [Narrator] Once upon a time, well, just last year,

as a matter of fact,

there was a great ball

given at the castle.

(upbeat music)

People lined the streets for miles around,

to see the guests arriving.

Our glorious Queen Seraphina, you see,

had decided

that the time had come

her son

the Prince must find himself a wife.

(kids cheering)

So,

although the most eligible girls in the kingdom

were presented at the Royal Castle

by their doting fathers,

Prince Valiant had other ideas.

(audience cheering)

(mellow music)

(upbeat music)

The Prince remained

unwed,

and the Queen remained

determined.

- Excuse me, thank you. - It was a stroke of luck,

as it turned out,

for one person

in particular. - What is this?

- No further ma'am. - Oh, no, no.

Of course not, Captain.

Well, you can't just let anyone in there.

We didn't receive our invitations.

- Then you never shall, shall you?

None but the nobility are invited to the Royal Gala.

It's a matter of blood.

- Blood. - Great families of the land!

- You shall go girls.

I promise you.

(birds chirping)

(gentle music)

- I didn't see the buzzard today,

but I brought you these.

It was so clear today,

and the lake was the deepest green.

(sheep bleating)

There's my Beatrice.

How are you old girl? (sheep bleating)

(gentle music)

Felim!

Felim!

Felim!

Felim.

Father's coming home.

- Oh, wow.

That's excellent, Miss.

- He arrives tomorrow.

He says he has a surprise. - That's excellent.

(clock chiming)

Dear Miss.

Can I get you two a piece of cheese?

- [Cinderella] It's been so long, I'm too excited to eat.

- Well, we don't want the master to come home

to find you fizzled away to nothing, do we?

- Falim?

What shall I do with my life?

It's time I started to make some decisions.

I want father to be proud of me.

- He already is because you're you.

- I want to do something useful.

- Better have a piece of cheese, then.

Or you won't have the energy, will you?

- I'll fetch it. - What?

- You've worked enough.

Sit down.

(suspenseful music)

(wind howling)

Hush wind.

(train whistle blowing)

Father. - Zezolla.

Oh dear me, I'm forgetting.

(deep base music)

- Hello.

But it's so unexpected.

- I did say I had a surprise.

You need a mother, and I need a wife.

Claudette makes me happy, and I hope she will you.

- [Cinderella] I have a mother.

- Oh my darling, she's dead.

- [Cinderella] She lives in my remembrance.

- And in mine.

My dear.

- Good evening, Martin.

- [Martin] I was just telling my daughter how happy I am.

- Oh.

How touching.

- [Goneril] I saw it first.

- No, you didn't.

I did. - Well, I'm the eldest.

- You're the stupidest.

The other one's bigger.

- Well, you have it then, Pockface.

- Did you-- - Silence!

Girls, silence.

Your father will be the judge.

- Judge?

What am I to judge, my treasure?

- [Regan] I want this room.

- I saw it first, and I'm the eldest.

- This is your home.

You must decide.

- But, this is my room.

(scoffs)

- Well, that's not a very nice way to treat visitors.

- Not a nice way at all. - Zezolla will

move out,

well, that is,

if she would like her sisters to feel at home.

- That would be the most hospitable thing to do.

After all, they've come a long way.

They must be felling very unsettled.

- We are. - Very unsettled, indeed.

- I took a tour of the attic.

There's a perfectly acceptable room.

Oh, I must see cook.

- Cook's a marvel,

brilliant to puddings. - Perhaps.

But I don't see her getting

three stars in the near future.

- Good girl.

I wish to propose a toast

to Goneril,

Regan,

and my beloved Claudette.

- Thank you, Martin.

There are a few improvements to be made, naturellement

but on the whole, it is perfectly acceptable.

- More wine?

Please?

- Felim!

- Yes sir.

- [Martin] Fetch another bottle.

- You're very quiet, Zezolla.

Girls who cannot speak usually stay on the shelf.

To be able to converse fluently and with poise

is the first requisite of a wife.

- I was just wondering where did it all come from.

All the fine food.

- We are not paupers here, don't be silly.

- But we never drink wine.

- Your father said don't be silly.

Had I brought you up, you would be more obedient.

- Perhaps you had good fortune in town.

- I did indeed.

I met my wife.

- I'd never wear that hat.

- Which is exactly why I shall.

No man in the kingdom will be able to resist me.

- You look like a mushroom.

- But I don't look like you.

Just half the battle, isn't it?

(light knocking)

- Enter.

- I just wondered if you have everything that you need.

- Sit down.

Have a drink. - Have a cigar.

- A cigar?

- Do you like cigars?

- I've never tried.

- You haven't tried much, by the look of you.

Learn a few tricks, Zezolla.

Otherwise, you'll never get a man in your bed.

- I don't want a man in my bed.

- Reggie.

It occurs to me-- - She's an innocent,

who will have to be-- - Corrupted.

- And the sooner, the better.

- Tell me,

what we do for pleasure

in this desolate neck of the woods.

- Anywhere to go?

- At night? - Yeah, you know, parties,

salons,

dens of ill repute.

- No, nowhere at all.

We sit and read mainly.

- That explains it.

- What?

- Her mother got remarried

with such incredible speed.

(giggling) (mellow rock music)

- [Martin] Zezolla, go to bed.

(mellow music)

- What are you doing sitting down?

- Little bit wobbly on the pins, ma'am.

- The temperature is dropping, I can feel it.

- I'm surprised you can feel anything.

- What? - I said, I,

I can't feel anything down below.

- I want you back in the boiler room in three minutes.

No excuses.

I'm a warm person.

I will not be cold.

You have deceived me.

It was all borrowed?

Everything?

- Although we are of noble blood,

we are, as a rule, somewhat more frugal

than I confess I had led you to believe.

- Well, you better come up with some more funds.

Frugality makes me very unpleasant to live with.

- That can't be true.

- You'll go to town tomorrow,

and negotiate a further loan.

Well, you can't expect my daughters to live

without food on the table and clothes on their back.

- Well, rather thought I bought them enough clothes to be--

- Enough clothes?

There is never enough clothes, imbecile.

(dramatic music)

- It will entail

mortgaging

my property.

- Cash.

Get cash.

I cannot be

humiliated in this way.

(Felim groaning)

- Felim! (dramatic music)

- All this for the mistress, ma'am.

(dramatic music)

- [Martin] Tomorrow I travel up to town on business.

Give me proof of your love,

and I will buy for you whatever you desire.

- To me,

you are the kindest,

gentlest stepfather I could ever have wished for.

We were in sorry straits until we met you.

But now,

we have a home. - Thank you, Goneril,

you are good and true.

It will be my pleasure to bring you back--

- A necklace?

- A necklace.

- A diamond necklace?

- [Martin] As you wish.

- What I find most appealing about you, Father,

is your simple country wisdom.

We were in real danger of being spoiled up in town.

But,

your homespun philosophy,

and your

old-fashioned horse sense has been

a major influence on me.

I really feel I've turned a corner.

- It's an excellent answer, and thoroughly well observed.

What would you like? - A ring of pure gold.

- [Martin] A ring of gold it shall be.

- With an emerald in it?

- It's about time you condescended to make an appearance.

- I'm sorry.

I had to help Felim.

- Look at the state you're in.

You're a disgrace.

- She's all covered in cinders.

- We should call her Cindergirl.

- Cinderella.

That's what we'll call you. - Cinderella, that's good.

- My name is Zezolla.

- Not anymore.

- [Martin] Before I go, I wish to learn how much you

love me.

How much do you love me, Cinderella?

- I do not love you father any more or any less

than an honest daughter should.

- Then you shall have no present.

- I mean no insult.

I simply-- - You take me for granted,

is that it?

- You should follow the example of your sisters.

They said some very sweet things to me.

- Anyone can mouth the words.

- Get out of my sight.

- Safe journey, Father.

- Speed home.

- A lesson well learned.

I applaud you. (base jazz music)

- Father!

Father!

- What do you want?

- Mother used to tell me how you met at the castle,

by a rose bush in the courtyard.

Bring me a cutting from that rosebush

that I might plant on her grave.

Please?

- Be respectful to my wife whilst I'm away,

- Be respectful to my wife whilst I'm away, (guns firing)

and I'll consider it. (guns firing)

and I'll consider it.

(gentle music)

- Stop, please!

Stop!

You'll kill something.

- Well, I certainly hope so.

No point, otherwise.

- Traditional,

rural vestige, isn't it?

We're just trying to blend in.

- What have you done with my painting? We're just trying to blend in.

- What have you done with my painting? (gun firing) (girls squealing)

- I beg your pardon? (gun firing) (girls squealing)

- I beg your pardon? - Got one.

- I beg your pardon? - Thank you, yes. (laughing)

- That is my mother. - Thank you, yes. (laughing)

- Yes, I know it is. - Thank you, yes. (laughing)

- Yes, I know it is. - I see why people do this.

And a perfectly morbid ornament, if I do say so. - I see why people do this.

And a perfectly morbid ornament, if I do say so. Bit of a turn on, yeah?

And a perfectly morbid ornament, if I do say so. - She took a life for pleasure.

A nice mirror will open up the room, - She took a life for pleasure.

and one can check one's hair en passant. - She took a life for pleasure.

and one can check one's hair en passant. (sheep bleating)

- Never mind your hair, I want my mother. (sheep bleating)

- Never mind your hair, I want my mother.

- Never mind your hair, I want my mother. - Oh! (laughing)

- Never mind your hair, I want my mother. (screaming) - No!

- I am your mother now. (screaming) - No!

- I am your mother now. - It makes you all tingly.

- You? - It makes you all tingly.

- It makes you all tingly.

You are course and greedy. - It makes you all tingly.

You are course and greedy.

You are course and greedy. - Georgie.

- Georgie.

You could never be as beautiful as her.

You could never be as beautiful as her. - We rode for miles, miles, and miles,

- We rode for miles, miles, and miles,

and there wasn't an eligible man in sight.

- I dislike idle girls. and there wasn't an eligible man in sight.

- I dislike idle girls. Just peasants. - It is a predicament.

We'll have to find you something to do. Just peasants. - It is a predicament.

We'll have to find you something to do. I've trained you for marriage when the time is right.

(mellow music) I've trained you for marriage when the time is right.

I've trained you for marriage when the time is right.

Clear away.

- I fancy a tall one with a mustache.

- A mustache?

What century are you in?

- I like mustaches.

- Went out with the dodo, didn't they, ma?

- Facial hair could be quite attractive.

What you absolutely do not want

is dandruff. - Excuse me.

What is there for my dinner?

- Well, if you won't eat what we eat,

nothing. (upbeat music)

(laughing)

(sisters laughing) (mellow music)

- Thank you.

- My pleasure.

- Thank you.

- [Cinderella] Welcome home, Father.

- You could at least have been here to greet me.

- I was working.

- Good for building character, I believe.

Instilled her sense of duty.

- Quite right, my angel, quite right.

- Did I get my present?

(melancholy music)

Be lovely, won't it?

I wonder how long it will take to grow.

- I thought you had learned your lesson.

But you

are an unmitigated disaster.

- [Martin] Nobody would mortgage me.

- You bought the girls jewels.

- [Matin] I didn't want to disappoint them.

We can live on less, you know.

- Less?

What are you saying?

Less?

I think, Martin,

that you and I

are going to have to review our sleeping arrangements.

It's a very simple equation.

Cash

equals company.

(clears throat)

What is that?

- Oh, it's very tedious.

The Royal Gala at the castle.

It's my duty to go, but I find it a bore.

I wouldn't mind if you and the girls stayed at home.

- Are you mad?

Oh!

Oh!

- I thought it might please you.

- The Royal Gala.

Oh,

new gowns,

dancing.

Ah, delicious.

- Do I still have to sleep on my own?

- [Claudette] Yes, you do.

You know the rules.

- Father?

Father.

(buzzard screeching)

They call me names because I'm dirty all the time.

And they won't give me anything to eat.

And still, Father prefers them to me.

I wish you hadn't died.

(buzzard screeching)

(dramatic music)

(buzzard screeching)

Where are you taking me, my friend?

(screeching)

(dramatic music)

- I know you, don't I?

From the big house in the valley?

- Who are you? - I'm Mab.

- Did you live here?

Why?

- I've got to live somewhere.

And I like to be close to my lake.

- [Cinderella] Are you a witch?

(laughing) - She thinks I'm a witch.

I'm Mab.

A woman lives on her own quietly,

and the world thinks that she's a witch.

Do you want to know what I do?

I swim,

and then make obligations at the lake.

- Do you ever come down to the valley?

- There are people there.

- So you don't like people?

- [Mab] I do not.

- And you don't like me?

- Not much.

I thought you were hurting.

- Well, yes I am, but I don't want to disturb you.

- Oh, you won't disturb me.

(dramatic music)

Keep going down.

You'll come to it.

- But I won't be able to breathe.

- Well, go hungry then, I've got work to do.

(dramatic music)

- Looks.

They are

more important than money. - Oh, that's rot.

I'll take a frog if he's wealthy.

- A frog?

Eww.

I want a prince.

- [Goneril] Well, there's only one prince.

- And he's

gorgeous.

- And by chance, the wealthiest man in the kingdom.

You want the best of both worlds.

(giggling)

- I don't think that's unreasonable.

Do you?

- Have you chosen your outfits yet?

- Not quite, Mother.

- Hard to choose.

- Yeah, we're feeling the stress a bit, actually.

- Balls are a really big deal. - I know.

Balls are a battlefield,

and if you hope to triumph,

you must plan your campaign.

But,

remember the principles I have taught you,

and you will emerge victorious.

Goneril?

- Dress to kill, makeup ditto.

- Most important?

- Shoes. - Correct.

Shoes for a huntress.

Have we shoes?

(triumphant music)

Lovely.

But take note,

the harder they are to walk in, the more effective.

Second, Regan.

- Never accept a gift that isn't bigger than the one before.

- And if no gift is forthcoming?

- Look somewhere else. - Good girl.

Who wants a husband who's a miser.

Goneril?

- Always laugh at a man's jokes,

no matter how feeble they are. - Flattery.

- Flattery.

Fifth principle.

Come on.

Come on, girls.

Be late

for everything,

and taste

the sweet nectar of power.

What is the point of catching a man

if you are unable thereafter to control him?

(sighing) These are things you must remember.

- Would you care for a glass of champagne, Mother?

- Thank you.

- We're sorry we forgot.

- I am strict, I know.

But it's for your own advancement.

Learning to be a woman is no small matter.

Of course I must say,

it must be doubly hard on you coming

from a broken home.

When two families intertwine,

it's difficult to know who to rely on,

and I do appreciate the fact that your suffering

from the aftereffects of a huge emotional upset.

- Yes, we are, actually.

- I blame myself.

I do.

I should have been less cavalier in my choice of husbands.

The first two, regrettably, did not last the distance.

And the current one?

How was I to know he was a fraud?

He had all the requisite titles, one assumes he has

something in the bank.

- Father?

Mother sent it

for your nerves.

(dramatic music)

- Where have you been?

- Nowhere.

- Don't lie to me.

- I've been to the bottom of the lake,

which is where I wish you were.

- It's time you learn some manners, Little Miss.

It's not bad enough I married a bankrupt,

I have to take cheek from his daughter as well?

(screaming)

- A magical feast?

- Yes.

I went behind a waterfall. - The waterfall.

You've been to see Mab.

- You know her?

- We go back a long way, we do.

How is the old

mermaid?

- She's a mermaid?

- I don't know,

is she?

- She certainly can swim. - Yes.

I've seen her in the water.

- She's

a bit grumpy, though. - Oh, don't worry about that,

it's just her way.

Got a heart of gold, Mab has.

If you're ever in trouble,

you go to her.

Might be out there myself one day.

- Then we're going to the castle, it takes hours.

- We better not be too late. - No.

Mother says 10 minutes the first time,

after that, get less and less punctual.

- [Goneril] She's as keen as we are, I think.

- [Regan] I wonder who'd be husband number four?

- [Goneril] She should be able to have her pick.

It's a Royal Gala after all.

The creme de la creme will be there.

- [Regan] Oh, they will, won't they.

I think for our next ball,

we should find someone who looks more enchanting.

(sisters chatting)

(upbeat music)

- She's up to something.

I wanna know where she goes; follow her.

(upbeat music)

- Go on.

- Where did she go?

- Through the waterfall.

- [Goneril] Be careful you fat lump.

- Don't you call me fat. - Why not? You are fat.

Are you sure she went this way?

- [Regan] Oh the stupid hole.

Careful, careful.

I think I'm going to-- (screaming)

- We're off to the ball.

I thought I'd come say adieu.

What are you doing?

- I must attend.

It is my duty.

- But you're too sick, my dear.

You're so sick. - I so want you to be happy.

I want walk in by your side and hold you close and dance.

- You are devoted to me, aren't you?

- Father, you should be in bed.

- Out of the way!

(sneezing)

All set.

- Martin,

darling.

Here, drink this.

It will give you extra reserves of stamina,

which you will need.

Tonight will be a night to remember.

(dramatic music)

- Remember.

Never

dance with a man

who cannot hold his drink.

The castle.

- [Mab] Why wouldn't anyone give you a ball gown?

- Felim said that-- - Ah, Felim.

- He told me to ask you if I needed help.

- Well, there's no harm in asking.

- But can you?

Help?

- Do I look as if I would possess such an item?

- [Cinderella] I suppose not.

- Exactly.

- Then I've failed.

- [Mab] Well, I do have that, I mean, I never wear it,

'cause it makes me look fat.

Magic, I do not do.

Anything we could possibly want exists already.

- [Cinderella] I'm going to need some shoes.

- Shoes are for people who don't like bare feet.

I've never bothered with them.

- [Cinderella] But I must have something.

It's a ball.

- I don't care where you're going.

Shoes I do not do.

(people cheering)

(upbeat music)

Not bad at all.

- [Cinderella] How am I going to get there?

- [Mab] Get where?

- To the castle.

- [Mab] Why do you want to go to the castle for?

- That's where the ball is.

- [Mab] Yes, but the ball will be full of people.

Do you realize that? - Yes, I know.

There'll be many men there trying to find a wife.

I have to stop my stepmother.

- [Mab] Ah-ha.

What's she up to?

- She's trying to poison my father.

- The old poison.

Go up those stairs.

Get up those stairs!

Go on, jump.

- Jump?

- Jump.

Do you want to get to that ball or don't you?

- I hope you know what you're doing, Mab.

(suspenseful music)

- And don't forget to come back before--

(splashing)

Midnight.

- I've seen some awfully pretty girls arriving.

And the orchestra this year, splendid.

If you could just try to dance with one or two.

- I don't dance, Mama, you know that.

- Well then, it's time you made an effort,

for the sake of the royal line.

(people chatting)

- Six and out.

- Shouldn't we be going down?

- What's the point?

None of those squares know how to dance.

They would just jig up and down like marionettes.

- Your mama wants you to meet girls.

- I've met girls.

Girls aren't cool.

- Though, my sister's not bad at tennis.

- Your sister tried to kiss me

in the throne room.

It was freaky.

- You are from noble families, all of you.

Protocol demands your presence at the ball.

- We were just on our way, Mama.

- What does one look for in a daughter-in-law,

First Minister?

- Obedience, ma'am.

(laughing)

(upbeat jazz music)

- [Young Woman] He's arrived.

- It's like a cattle market.

- Beef on the hoof.

- For my first dance,

I request the hand of

you.

- I'm her sister.

- [Prince Valiant] Dance with the sister, would you Marco?

- [Regan] Are you royal?

- Almost.

(upbeat music)

- I got here to the place where you fell in love,

but I can't get in for I have no shoes.

Poor father.

(gentle music)

(dramatic music) (people chatting)

(people whispering)

- Who is she? - No idea.

- What is your country's principle product, Ambassador?

- Oil.

- May I have this dance?

(upbeat music)

- So, what's a young filly like you

doing here without a husband then,

eh? - Alas.

My husband is dying.

- Oh, my dear, I'm so sorry.

- I wonder if I might dance with you?

- I wonder if I might dance with you?

- I'm sorry, not at the moment.

- He looks interested.

- I think he's been looking to dance with her.

(upbeat music)

- [Warner] Who's bugging you?

- I feel like I've gone into orbit.

It's pretty peculiar, man.

- [Warner] I don't think much of her shoes.

- Her eyes are nice, though.

- Oh really?

Interested in politics as well.

Remarkable.

It's very rare meeting a young lady--

- She still hasn't danced with him.

- [First Minister] Prince Valiant?

No, Your Majesty.

She seems to prefer a more

mature type of gentleman.

- [Queen] I wish he wouldn't make it so

difficult for himself.

- Majesty? - Why don't you go

and give him a gentle nudge?

- Are you enjoying the party, sir?

- [Prince] He's ancient.

How can she prefer him to me?

What have I got to do? - I don't know, sir.

What are you good at?

(snapping fingers)

♪ There's a girl in a dress ♪

♪ Who's not like all the rest ♪

♪ She's a little bit strange ♪

♪ But she bought out a change in me, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ♪

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ♪

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

♪ There's a girl in a dress ♪

♪ And I have to confess ♪

♪ I just suddenly guessed ♪

♪ That if she asked me, I'd say yes ♪

♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ♪

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ♪

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

(screaming)

(upbeat rock music)

♪ There's a girl in a dress ♪

♪ Who I like to impress ♪

♪ All I know how to do ♪

♪ Is sing for you ♪

(upbeat rock music)

Do you get it?

- What a racket.

How people can call that music, I don't know.

(upbeat rock music)

(mellow piano music)

- What happens here?

- Audiences, governments, you know.

Uncool stuff.

- Where do you sit?

- Here.

- And that one?

- My mama, at present,

but...

(mellow piano music)

You know, you blew my mind in that dress.

It's deeply cool.

Where did you get it?

- Up in the mountains,

there's a lake,

high up.

It's my favorite place.

- Amazing.

And there one can buy these clothes?

- Something like that.

- I'll have to go.

You know, I've never been to the mountains.

- Never been?

But it's your kingdom.

- Yeah, but I stay here mostly.

- Doing what?

- Just trying to pass the time.

(gentle music)

- Don't you have any goals in life?

- Well,

apart from being king,

which is not earth-shatteringly ambitious, is it?

I can only think of one.

- What is it? - To make you my wife.

- I don't know if I love you or not.

- Perhaps you do just a little bit.

Try it.

(gentle music)

Will you kiss me?

- I've never

been kissed.

- Me neither.

(gentle music)

(watch alarm blaring)

- What's that?

- Midnight.

Wait!

I don't know your name.

(bells tolling)

- [Warner] Hey Val!

What's the scene, my man?

- Give me some more booze. - Yeah.

I think the cat's blown a circuit.

We're all going swimming. - Yeah, come swimming.

- Wanna come?

(melancholy music)

- Oh, so you're back.

(melancholy music)

- [Felim] Well, that perked me up.

You went to the ball?

- You take care of this for me.

I don't want Claudette to find it.

- And you danced with him,

and talked a lot of sloppy stuff?

- Yes.

- Good old Mab.

- Felim,

why don't you see her anymore?

Did you have an argument?

- Or two.

You see, she couldn't live in the world,

and I couldn't live in a cave.

She liked solitude.

I liked company.

And a bath once a week has always seemed to me sufficient.

Us getting married

could conceivably have been a mistake.

- You're married?

- Oh, it isn't always like in the fairy tales, marriage,

oh no.

Fact is,

it could be bleeding hard work.

(dramatic music)

- It's good for you, this stuff.

Trust me.

My first husband was a doctor.

- Father?

Father?

Just say you drank it.

Do you understand?

Father, it's poison.

- Monsters.

♪ There's a girl in a dress ♪

♪ Who's not like all the rest ♪

♪ She's a little bit strange ♪

♪ But she bought out a change in me, yeah ♪

I've issued a decree.

She who's foot fits this slipper will become my bride.

What I know is the person I love

is the person that can wear this shoe.

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

♪ There's a girl in a dress ♪

♪ And I have to confess ♪

♪ I just suddenly guessed ♪

♪ That if she asked me, I'd say yes. ♪

♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ♪

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

♪ Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ♪

♪ Who's that, who's that girl ♪

(motorcycle engines revving)

- It's Valiant. - No!

- Prince Valiant.

Both of my daughters were at the ball.

You were intimate with both of them.

I have no doubt one of them is your intended.

But have some consideration for the other.

There will be disappointment.

There will be tears.

Please could I ask you

to allow us to try the shoe on

alone?

- Oh, it's major break with precedent.

- Nevertheless, it's the request of a loving mother.

I exceed.

- If you'll go along to the study, I'll

be sure that refreshments are sent on to you.

Shortly

you will have

a wife.

Push, you stupid girl. - I am pushing.

(grunting)

(fingers snapping)

- Come on, man, have a sandwich.

Your quest is over.

- At least we're spared the tears.

A blubbing girl's a hideous sight.

(grunting)

- Right.

There's nothing else for it.

One of you has to lose some toes.

- I mean, what's keeping them?

Either it fits, or it doesn't.

- Val,

stay cool.

- Stop this madness.

- It will fit one of them, it will.

- It fits neither.

There's not a girl in the whole of the mountains

who can wear this shoe.

I failed.

(crying)

- You

and your big feet.

- Go on ahead, guys.

I need a bit of time.

(buzzard screeching) (mellow music)

(buzzard screeching)

- You're not going to throw that litter in my lake, I hope.

- Who are you?

- I'm Mab. Who are you?

- Prince Valiant.

- Oh yes, what do you want?

- I was looking for a shop or boutique of some kind.

- A boutique?

- A place that sells far out dresses.

- Oh, and I think you took a wrong turning

about 100 miles ago.

This girl,

what does she look like?

- Well,

kind of

fishy.

Oh, I don't mean,

not weird, though, but

fabulously.

- Piscatorial?

- Yes.

Not that it matters now.

I love her, but I lost her.

I just

came to say goodbye.

- You never say goodbye to the one you love.

- But she's gone.

Can't find her anywhere.

- If you truly loved her, you'd not stop looking for her

until the day you die.

What are you, a man or a mollusk?

- I'm a prince.

- Well, we all have our misfortunes, and if you will dance

with strange girls at parties,

you have only yourself to blame.

- You know who she is.

- What makes you think that?

- Because I never said I danced with her.

Where is she?

I order you to say! - Oh, you order me, do you?

That's a good one.

- Please tell me, please.

I don't know what's happening.

I thought I was...

I thought I was cool about

girls, and love and stuff, but this.

- Are you sure this is what you want?

- Yes.

100%.

- I suppose you,

you've tried every girl in the land

with a sort of test of some sort that is traditional.

- Yes, all of them. - All of them?

- Every single one.

- Every single one?

Are you sure?

Absolutely sure?

(loud knocking)

(mellow music)

- Are you sure? - Yes.

She brought the sandwiches.

- Oh her, the serving girl?

No, that can't be her.

(melancholy music)

- I've issued a decree.

She who's foot fits this-- - We know!

We know.

- Would you mind trying it on?

If it fits, you shall be my bride.

- Wait!

This

menial

is on the verge

of becoming a princess.

This is a big

moment.

It's a definitive moment, one might say.

Surely,

surely you would prefer it if,

if she were

clean. (melancholy music)

- [Regan] Let's get rid of that rose bush.

- [Goneril] We're gonna chop, chop, chop.

- [Regan] Chop off her feet.

- [Goneril] We're gonna chop, chop, chop.

- [Regan] Chop off her head.

- [Goneril] We're gonna chop, chop, chop.

- [Regan] Chop off her feet.

- [Goneril] We're gonna chop, chop, chop.

- [Regan] Chop off her head.

- [Goneril] We're gonna chop, chop, chop.

- How, you got to the ball, I do not know.

How, you got back here,

I do not know.

But one thing I do know,

which you would do well to keep in mind,

during your interview with that charming young man--

- Please stop.

- You'll have the figure of a stick insect.

If you dare to try on his slipper

with your wretched little foot,

and I have a nasty suspicion it will fit,

in that case,

you can say goodbye

to daddy.

I find him sadly lacking

as a mate.

Here we are.

- [Prince] I've waited two hours.

- I've just been powdering my nose.

- Please, sit down.

- A lady must find her best light, you know.

Otherwise, why bother fixing her face.

This one.

No, this one.

- Please, take off your shoe.

- I thought you might have a talk first.

- A talk?

I haven't time for a talk.

- Oh, so you think I should be seen and not heard, do you?

I'm not sure I want to be purely decorative.

- [Prince] That's not what I meant.

- You mean to say that nothing I had to say

will be of any intellectual value.

- No, I just want you to try on this slipper.

- But there's rather a lot at stake here.

I have my future to consider.

Becoming a trophy wife to a prince

has never been high up my agenda.

- I'm in love with the girl who fits this shoe.

- Yet, you have no time for pleasant conversation.

Living with you might have it's drawbacks, mightn't it?

- [Prince] I'm sure you'd like it a little bit.

- I'm sorry, I think I've broken a nail.

- Come, come, Cinderella.

- Cinderella?

Is that your name?

(breathing heavily)

- Sir, sir?

Sir?

Sir? - Hmm?

- Do you mind if I come in?

Sir?

Sir.

Forgive the intrusions, sir, but, I don't flipping have...

You old fool.

You've been taken for a ride good and proper, haven't you?

You should have listened to your daughter,

then you wouldn't have been in this pickle.

Well, my word.

Men can be stupid sometimes.

(grunting) Oh, yeah.

(grunting) (buzzard screeching)

- [Goneril] No more magic.

Yes!

- Have you brought me a present?

- No.

But you'll have presents.

You'll have more presents than you can count.

- I'm not falling for that one, sweetheart.

- I'm begging you to try on this slipper.

You're my very last chance.

- Am I?

I think you ought to know

I want to do something useful with my life.

I don't intend to lounge around

living off the fat of the land.

Are you engaged in any great works?

- No.

But I will be, I promise you.

- What are you going to do?

- I'm gonna try to understand my people and serve them well.

It's not my fault I was born royal.

But it gives me the chance to change the world.

The girl I met at the ball made me want to do that.

She even made me want to dance.

(scoffs) Well,

this love trip's weirder than I expected.

One minute it's heaven, the next...

Is it always like this?

- No, it gets dull quickly.

- I wouldn't mind it being dull.

I could be dull with her for days.

If only I could find her.

- It isn't me.

- Just try on the slipper, then we'll know for sure.

What is it with women?

I don't understand.

- Yes.

One of the great unsolved mysteries, aren't we?

- I never thought I'd say I love you,

not to anyone.

But if the slipper fits, I'll say it to you.

Please. (melancholy music)

(crying)

- If we can get to Mab-- - Mab?

- Yes, Mab.

- Where do you think you're going?

- Not without us.

- [Felim] Move, get out!

(dramatic music)

- [Prince] Put them down at once!

- [Cinderella] Father.

- Your prospects of marriage are over.

- [Martin] Why is Prince Valiant here?

- [Cinderella] 'Cause I think I love him.

A little bit.

- But you destroyed the slipper.

- Slipper?

I've got a slipper. (gentle music)

- It fits.

- I hate happy endings.

(gentle music)

- Felim.

What is it?

- What is it?

I'm going soft in my old age.

That's what it is.

Not to put too fine a point on it,

Mamby,

must have been

waiting up at the castle, and

I find myself thinking of you.

- I often think of you.

- Do you?

Do you reckon there's a chance that we could,

well,

you know.

- Try again?

- I've been mulling it over, Mab.

I don't suppose

two baths a week

will kill me.

(mellow music)

- Your majesty, I made a tragic mistake.

- I should say you did.

Failure to attend the ball

is a clear-- (voice drowned out by villagers)

- Oh, not that, I married a murderess.

For the ball, I owe you an apology.

- Oh, forget it.

But I should think it's to her you owe the apology.

The motorcade is on it's way.

- A motorcade?

What a waste of money.

No, I think we'll walk.

(laughing)

(grunting)

- [Claudette] No!

I broke a heel. - Quicker!

(grunting) (bells tolling)

(upbeat music)