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1
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:35,640
Pick up five. Sorry, Troy.
Unless you've got another king.
2
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:41,039
- I certainly have. Pick up 10, Donald.
- I think not. Pick up 15, Gavin.
3
00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:43,829
But this is ridiculous,
there aren't 15 cards to pick up.
4
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,598
Calm down, Gav. This is only a game.
5
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,996
No, Gavin's right.
It's too hot for cards.
6
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,511
What say, we all have
a post-breakfast dip in the jacuzzi?
7
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,756
- Ooh, yes!
- TROY: That'll do for me.
8
00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:55,598
- Come on.
- No. I'm fine here, thank you.
9
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,509
- Nonsense, we're all going in. Come on.
- I'm sorry. I said no.
10
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:02,279
Are you okay?
11
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,234
TROY: Come on!
12
00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:08,949
- Last one in takes it up the bum.
- Ooh! That'll be all of us.
13
00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,797
Right, I'm off to get me mam.
You're gonna talk to Mel.
14
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,399
Aye, all right.
15
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:21,833
You look nice, mam.
16
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,793
Thank you, darling.
17
00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:26,549
- I'll be off then.
- Yeah.
18
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:33,158
Oh look! Me watch is wrong.
It's the 12th, not the 11th.
19
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:39,995
I say, me watch is wrong.
I'm sure it's the 12th today.
20
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:43,750
Yeah, well, that's what you get
for buying a cheap watch.
21
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:48,036
Mam? Why don't you want
me nana and Mel to get married?
22
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,318
Well, me dad said it's
because Mel's a nutter.
23
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,839
Telle, are you gonna be all right
with baby Coolio?
24
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,270
Yeah, 'course I am. He is my baby.
25
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,515
Right.
26
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:02,871
See you back here later.
27
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,559
I thought we could maybe go into
the old town for our tea tonight?
28
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,872
Just me and you.
29
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:16,632
- You kids'll be all right, won't ya?
- BOTH: Yeah.
30
00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,637
You're joking, aren't ya?
31
00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,034
What's the point
of spending money out there
32
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,390
when it's all paid for in here?
33
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,233
No, you're right.
34
00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:26,799
No point at all!
35
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,516
Dad, I think mam's upset.
36
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,993
I know.
There's summat wrong with her watch.
37
00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,273
Look, I don't want to make
a big thing of this. I just...
38
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,311
I just don't take my clothes
off in public.
39
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,875
This isn't about body image, is it?
40
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:53,953
- Yes. It is actually.
- You've got to be joking.
41
00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,549
- You're a fine figure of a man.
- Oh, please.
42
00:02:56,680 --> 00:02:59,194
Look, it's all about how
you see yourself.
43
00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:03,871
I mean, at home, when I look in
the mirror, I don't see a fat person.
44
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,791
- Really?
- No, not at all.
45
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,799
Right, I see.
46
00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,636
Where'd you buy these mirrors?
47
00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,238
Large vodka and orange
and a gin and tonic.
48
00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:26,759
Thanks, love.
49
00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,990
- A bit early for this, isn't it?
- Do you want it or not?
50
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:34,880
There's no need to take
that tone with me, lady.
51
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,911
It's not my fault,
your ignorant pig of a husband
52
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,759
forgot your 10-year wedding anniversary.
53
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,509
I'm not here to talk about Mick.
We're here to talk about Mel.
54
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,115
Oh, no.
55
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,671
If you brought me here
to try and talk me out
56
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:50,518
of getting married to the man I love,
57
00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,712
you can stick your vodka and orange
up your arse.
58
00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,070
The man you love?
You've only known him 20 minutes.
59
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,033
We'll have known each other
four weeks on Saturday.
60
00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:04,075
And on Saturday, I'll be having a white
wedding on the beach here in Benidorm.
61
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,270
A white wedding?
62
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:08,472
Who the frig gonna be wearing white,
you or him?
63
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,079
Oh, very funny.
64
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,879
And you can stay away
if you'll be coming out
65
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,276
with vicious comments like that.
66
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,959
Don't talk rubbish.
67
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,594
As if I'm going to stay away
from me own mother's wedding.
68
00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,518
Ah! Wouldn't make much difference to me.
69
00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,631
None of me other six daughters'll
be there.
70
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:26,071
- And why do you think that is?
- Because they're not on holiday with us.
71
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,909
No. Because you've systematically
alienated every one of them.
72
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,998
Ooh! Look who's swallowed
a bloody dictionary.
73
00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:36,471
They may as well be aliens,
I'd see 'em more often.
74
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,434
I just don't want someone
you've known for three weeks
75
00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,119
to drive a wedge between us.
76
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,551
No, but you're happy for him
to pay for your holiday.
77
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,390
You didn't tell me he'd paid until
we got here. I thought you'd paid.
78
00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:53,833
Don't you raise your voice to me, lady.
And it's four weeks not three weeks.
79
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,031
Three weeks, four weeks, does it matter?
80
00:04:56,160 --> 00:04:57,833
Just think about
what you're doing, mother.
81
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,952
Don't you worry.
I know exactly what I'm doing.
82
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,717
And I also know that on our
10-year wedding anniversary,
83
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,878
I won't be spending it on me own
in an empty Spanish bar
84
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,152
crying into me gin and tonic, like you.
85
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:30,114
Here we go, coffee,
black, like your women.
86
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,553
Just a joke to break the ice.
87
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,274
We've not really had a chance to talk,
have we?
88
00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,198
So you and Madge getting married?
89
00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:41,039
You sorted out the OK! Magazine
deal yet?
90
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,389
You think yourself a bit of a comedian,
don't you?
91
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,353
- Depends how tough the crowd is.
- Do you know what I think?
92
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,790
No. I'm a comedian, not a mind reader.
93
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,230
I think, as a man in your late 40s,
94
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,954
you should spend less time poking
your nose into other people's business
95
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:57,117
and more time looking after
your own affairs.
96
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:58,992
- Look, can we...
- Madge and I are in love.
97
00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:01,589
We're getting married. Deal with it.
98
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,069
I'm 41.
99
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:17,712
- Give us it here.
- You what?
100
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,956
You've been fiddling with that
for 20 minutes.
101
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,152
Not that I've been watching ya.
My name's Jack.
102
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,995
You're very confident for a 12 year old.
103
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,191
(CHUCKLES) I'm 24.
104
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,397
It's just the date
you're trying to change, is it?
105
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,955
Yeah, and if you can't do it,
just give it us back.
106
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:37,550
I need to go find me mother
before her battery runs out.
107
00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,196
You are absolutely gorgeous.
108
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:48,272
- Is that supposed to be a compliment?
- Uh, yeah.
109
00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:52,313
Does your mother know
you talk to women like this?
110
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:54,829
- My mum died last year.
- I'm sorry.
111
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,639
Me dad as well.
112
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,750
Me and me sister bought this place
with the money they left us.
113
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:05,077
Well, I'm very sorry to hear
about your parents, Jack,
114
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:08,192
and it's lovely to hear your life story,
but I'd better get going.
115
00:07:08,320 --> 00:07:10,311
Hang on. I'm nearly there.
116
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:13,837
You remembered my name.
117
00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,078
Yeah. I did, didn't I?
118
00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:17,954
That means we should run off together
119
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:19,991
into the Mediterranean sunset
and get married.
120
00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,838
All right. I'm up for it.
121
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:26,079
Seriously, I'd marry you tomorrow.
You're gorgeous.
122
00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,756
I've got enough weddings
to go to this week, thank you.
123
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:31,154
All right.
124
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,357
I'll settle for a kiss.
125
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,754
Okay, Jack. We've established
you're genuinely hilarious.
126
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,952
What we haven't established
is that I'm married.
127
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,599
What happens in Benidorm
stays in Benidorm.
128
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,999
- It's just a kiss.
- Goodbye, Jack.
129
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,077
You haven't paid for your drinks.
130
00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:56,272
Oh! Me bag's on me mother's wheelchair.
131
00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,119
I'm sure we can come
to some arrangement.
132
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,869
Yeah. Here you are.
133
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,198
There's your change.
134
00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:20,915
Wow!
135
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:25,235
Bye!
136
00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,031
Kelly! How are you?
137
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:40,197
Hello, Mr Stewart, Mrs Stewart.
138
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:44,439
Oh! What a lovely surprise!
Come and sit down.
139
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:47,678
- Thanks.
140
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,191
How's your mum after that terrible
business in the pool?
141
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,550
Oh, she's okay, thanks.
142
00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:55,353
She said she's gonna sue the hotel
143
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,551
and pay to have
the woman's kneecaps broken.
144
00:08:57,680 --> 00:08:59,398
You know, the one who threw her in.
145
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:02,717
- Still a bit upset then?
- You could say that.
146
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,309
Oh dear. And how are you?
147
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,831
Well, that's why I'm here, to be honest.
I need some advice.
148
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,075
Go on.
149
00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:12,999
I went to work last night and, well,
this was waiting for me.
150
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,270
Oh, I haven't got my glasses.
151
00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:19,035
"Dear Kelly, I love you.
152
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:23,119
"Kelly, I need you. You are not like
the other English pig girls.
153
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,232
"You are kind, beautiful
and you do not smell"
154
00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,273
You've got to admit,
he's got a way with words.
155
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:33,234
"If we cannot be together,
I ask for one last night of passion.
156
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:36,113
"I know you want this.
With one night of passion,
157
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:39,710
"I will show you that you need me
as much as I need me."
158
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,355
Sadly enough,
I don't think that's a mistake.
159
00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:44,800
Oh, this is a good bit.
160
00:09:44,920 --> 00:09:46,479
"The throbbing of my heart for you
161
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:50,116
"is as big as the throbbing
in my trousers. Mateo."
162
00:09:50,240 --> 00:09:52,914
Aw. I think I like him again now.
163
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,034
"P.S. Please do not show this letter
to your mother.
164
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,720
"She is crazy like stabbed bull."
165
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:02,430
No, actually.
He has got a point with that last bit.
166
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:03,994
Isn't it a shame
167
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,591
when the nice-looking ones
always turn out to be the nutters?
168
00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:10,950
I mean, look at Harry Seacombe.
169
00:10:11,840 --> 00:10:14,275
Pass your pen to Kelly, Jacqueline.
170
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,240
I think we know how to sort this out.
171
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,237
Dear Mateo...
172
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,956
We should travel more, you know.
173
00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,631
I mean, I know this holiday hasn't
exactly gone to plan, but...
174
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,036
Just feel that sun.
175
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:44,270
Next holiday,
I know it sounds crazy, but...
176
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:48,109
No planning, no booking,
just get up and go.
177
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,873
Can you imagine how liberating
that would be?
178
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:53,715
Yes.
179
00:10:55,560 --> 00:11:00,873
I know it's ridiculous, but can you
imagine going to the airport,
180
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,991
running up to the desk and saying,
181
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:07,193
"Here's my passport, here's my money,
you decide where I'm going.
182
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:11,279
"To hell with the consequences.
I just need to goddamn get away."
183
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,315
Yes.
184
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:24,072
I'm writing these postcards and I don't
know half the people's addresses.
185
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,352
- What you writing them for then?
- I don't know.
186
00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:31,753
I can always give 'em to people
when we get home.
187
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,235
Save on stamps that way, as well.
188
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:39,470
- Hiya, you all right?
- Oh, hiya, yeah.
189
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,349
Fine, thanks.
190
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:44,040
- Hello, it's Chantelle, isn't it?
- Yeah.
191
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,437
Yes. I was speaking to your mum
the other day.
192
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:51,315
And this is your son.
Can we have a look at him?
193
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:56,071
Oh, he's taken the sun well, hasn't he?
194
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,235
Mam!
195
00:11:57,920 --> 00:11:59,479
He's mixed race.
196
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,074
Oh, right.
197
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,393
Like your father.
198
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:07,674
My late husband was half Irish.
199
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:10,189
Although you'd never know
from just looking at him.
200
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:15,190
Mind you, he never moved his arms
when he was dancing,
201
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,317
so the clues were there.
202
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,717
Geoff were gonna ask
if you can look after me son
203
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,515
- if we went out for a drink together?
- Oh, lovely!
204
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,871
Ah, yeah, I was gonna ask you,
but, um, I forgot.
205
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,197
No. That's smashing.
When are you going out? Tonight?
206
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:33,594
- Yeah.
207
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,599
I was thinking about
maybe tomorrow night?
208
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:40,873
All right. No. Actually tomorrow night
is better for me.
209
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,479
I'm a bit tied up tonight.
210
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,592
I thought it was just
doing karaoke tonight?
211
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,711
No. No.
212
00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:52,114
- I'm quite busy tonight.
- Busy doing what?
213
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,359
You know, people to see, places to go.
214
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,356
What people have you got to see?
You don't know anybody here.
215
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:04,872
- Just people!
- And what places have you got to go to?
216
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:08,038
You've not been outside the building
since we got here.
217
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,118
Yeah, exactly,
which is why I've got to do all me
218
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,596
- stuff tonight, isn't it?
- Well, if you say so.
219
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,040
Yeah, I do.
220
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:19,790
Right, well, anyway,
is tomorrow okay for you?
221
00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:24,596
Lovely. You bring him any time you want.
222
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,754
All right, well, maybe see you later.
223
00:13:27,880 --> 00:13:30,793
Yeah. Cool. Whatever.
224
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,070
# We're going to the chapel
225
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:40,558
# And we're going to get married #
226
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:43,473
Will you shut up?
227
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,513
Right I'll have to get back.
228
00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,916
I've left someone halfway through
Wig Wam Bam.
229
00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:57,270
Excuse me. I need to find my wife.
230
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,711
- Well, I'm not stopping ya.
- No, sorry. I mean, have you seen her?
231
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,069
What's she look like?
232
00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:06,239
You've seen her with me.
Blonde, about average height,
233
00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:09,830
very pretty, late 30s, looks younger.
234
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,671
Slight intolerance to wheat.
235
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,030
No. I can't think who you mean.
236
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:18,232
Looks quite miserable most of the time.
237
00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,830
Oh her? No. I've not seen her today.
238
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,396
I just assumed she'd gone for a walk,
but she's taken her clothes, suitcase.
239
00:14:25,520 --> 00:14:28,512
- She hasn't left a message here for me?
- No.
240
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,518
Janey, I need you to read this.
241
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,234
- I'm busy.
- Janey, please.
242
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:38,351
Oh, for Christ's sake, give us it here.
243
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,190
"Dear Mateo. I am sorry
I have been avoiding you. You are right.
244
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:47,075
"Even if we cannot be together,
you deserve one last night of passion,
245
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,953
"Room 204. Love, K."
246
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,151
You're a dirty get.
247
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,395
Kate.
248
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,431
Room 204.
249
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,673
Come on, you breeders.
250
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:14,595
# Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam
251
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,633
ALL: # Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam #
252
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,231
TROY: Come on!
# Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam
253
00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,115
# Wham bam, bam sham-a-lam #
254
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:30,158
- Look, don't let 'em get you down.
- I'm all right.
255
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,879
Well, you don't look all right.
256
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,071
You've been upset since
you came back this afternoon.
257
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,793
I said, I'm fine.
258
00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,320
I don't give a shit if
they never talk to us ever again.
259
00:15:39,440 --> 00:15:41,590
Well, I do. That's my mother.
260
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:47,278
If they wanna get married,
I say let 'em get on with it.
261
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:50,472
What is marriage anyway?
It don't mean anything.
262
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,677
It's only a bit of paper.
263
00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:57,197
Mam, are you all right?
264
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:02,237
Janice, what's wrong?
265
00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:05,071
What's the matter, love?
266
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,635
Hey...
267
00:16:28,480 --> 00:16:29,879
MATEO: Kelly?
268
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,480
KELLY: Aah!
269
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,116
(JE T'AIME PLAYING)
270
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,114
MATEO: Oh.
271
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:48,033
Oh, Kelly. I have missed you so much.
272
00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:52,918
But tonight, I will be your matador.
273
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:57,269
You will ride me like a crazy bull.
274
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:01,275
You are beautiful in every way.
275
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:08,439
(WHISPERING)
276
00:17:22,360 --> 00:17:24,636
# Wam bam, bam sham-a-lam #
277
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,991
- I'm all right, honest, I'm fine.
- You're not fine.
278
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:33,318
Come on. What have I done?
Just tell me what I've done.
279
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,397
What have you done?
280
00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,956
10 years married and you didn't
even buy your wife a card.
281
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,152
What are you wittering on about,
you daft, old...
282
00:17:42,560 --> 00:17:44,756
- Oh, my God.
- It's all right.
283
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:48,475
And you have the brassneck cheek
to criticise my fella.
284
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,558
You're no better than animals,
the lot of yer.
285
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,359
Unbelievable.
286
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,790
- Janice, I'm so sorry.
- It's all right.
287
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,639
- But 10 years.
- It's fine.
288
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:04,559
I'm not bothered about that,
honestly, Mick.
289
00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:06,910
I love you. I love you so much.
290
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:10,519
I love you, too.
291
00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:12,634
Come here.
292
00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:19,590
# Wig wam bam
Gonna make you my man
293
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:23,475
# Wam bam bam
Gonna get you if I can
294
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:27,309
# Wig wam bam
gonna make you understand
295
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:31,320
# Try a little touch,
try a little too much
296
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,478
#Just try a little wig wam bam#
297
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,876
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
298
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,279
TROY: Thank you.
299
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,438
HOST: Next up, we have Janice Garvey
singing Real Dead Ringer For Love.
300
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,679
Shit. Sorry, mam. I put you down.
301
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,872
It's all right, darling.
I want to sing it.
302
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,230
I'm gonna sing it for your dad.
303
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,312
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
304
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:10,839
Come on, Jan.
305
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,431
Have you and me mam
really been married 10 years, dad?
306
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,394
Yes, son. 10 wonderful years.
307
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:30,599
# Every night I grab some money
And I go down to the bar
308
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:34,395
# I got my buddies and a beer
I got a dream, I need a car
309
00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:39,956
# You got me begging on my knees
C'mon and throw the dog a bone
310
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,959
# A man he doesn't live by rock 'n roll
And brew alone
311
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:47,392
# Baby baby rock 'n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
312
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,194
# They don't mean a thing
When I compare 'em next to you
313
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,039
# Rock n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
314
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,555
# I know that you and I
Oh, we got better things to do
315
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,751
# I don't know who you are
Or what you do
316
00:19:57,880 --> 00:20:01,430
# Or where you go when you're not around
317
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:07,078
# I don't know anything about you, baby
But you're everything I'm dreaming of
318
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,873
# I don't know who you are
But you're a real dead ringer for love
319
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,072
# A real dead ringer for love #
320
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,314
(STRUGGLING)
321
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,478
Kate! Kate, hold on, I'm coming!
322
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,794
Martin! How the devil are you?
323
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,513
Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I thought...
324
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,520
No worries. Are you off to the karaoke?
We're nearly done here.
325
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,718
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
326
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:43,558
Yes. I'll..
327
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,150
See you downstairs.
328
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,119
(MATEO PANTING)
329
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,357
(MUFFLED GRUNTING)
330
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,438
# Rock 'n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
331
00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:58,234
# I know that you and I
Oh, we got better things to do
332
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,239
# Rock 'n roll and brew
Rock 'n roll and brew
333
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,715
# They don't mean a thing
When I compare 'em next to you
334
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,672
# I don't know who you are
Or what you do
335
00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,519
# Or where you go when you're not around
336
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:15,113
# I don't know anything about you, baby
But you're everything I'm dreaming of
337
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:20,112
# I don't know who you are
But you're a real dead ringer for love
338
00:21:20,240 --> 00:21:23,756
# A real dead ringer for love #
26876
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