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1
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,798
(CHEERING)
2
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,191
Are you all right, mother?
3
00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:45,397
Mother, have you fallen in?
4
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:47,360
(MADGE GROANS)
5
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,118
Are you all right?
6
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,472
Who's ever heard of serving
boiled egg curry on a plane?
7
00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,672
- Well, you didn't have to eat it.
- It were free.
8
00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,949
Where's Mel?
I don't want him to see me like this.
9
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,593
Have I gone all pale?
10
00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:02,916
I don't think
there's much chance of that.
11
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:04,838
He's out here with the rest of us.
12
00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:09,318
(MAN ON PA) Passengers arriving
from Manchester Airport on flight 219...
13
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:14,916
- You all right, princess?
- Ah!
14
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,600
He's a good-looking fella,
you've got to admit it.
15
00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:21,076
I think that curry's affected
your eyes as well, come on.
16
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,272
Of course, I know you didn't go
for looks with Mick or personality.
17
00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,038
Do you mind?
That's my husband you're talking about.
18
00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:30,836
Oh, there's something about a handsome
man just gets the old juices flowing.
19
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:33,429
Bloody hell, mother, do you have to?
20
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:39,036
- Everything all right?
- Oh, yes. I was just powdering me nose.
21
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,840
(BURPING)
22
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:45,757
- You look a million dollars.
- Oh, you don't look so bad yourself.
23
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:49,350
Jesus, if we get any more juices flowing
we'll have to swim to the hotel.
24
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,073
- You what?
- Never mind!
25
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:52,634
Where's Telle?
26
00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:55,636
She's here. Come on, let's go.
27
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,958
- Have you got everything?
- Yeah.
28
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,991
- Are you sure?
- Yeah!
29
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,515
Oh, shit!
30
00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:13,679
Come on. We're gonna miss the coach.
31
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,598
MICHAEL: Ha, ha, ha, ha,
you forgot the baby.
32
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,199
Never mind that. Let's just get on bus.
33
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,993
Never mind never mind that.
That's your grandson.
34
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:26,190
Excuse me. You don't want to
share a cab into Beni, do you?
35
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:28,516
- Beni?
- Benidorm.
36
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:31,712
- Ah, right. No. Sorry.
- Oh right. You're on a package.
37
00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:34,150
Hey, you couldn't sneak me and the wife
onto your coach, could you?
38
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,635
We're not going to Benidorm,
we're going to Altea.
39
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:37,875
Altea?
40
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:39,749
What, is that where
you're having your holiday?
41
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:44,078
- Yes. Apparently it's beautiful.
- Depends what you like.
42
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,669
You won't get an all-day English
breakfast there, you know that?
43
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:48,632
Yes. We know.
44
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,115
- And there's no karaoke.
- We know.
45
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:56,758
Yeah. Well, to be honest, there's hardly
any English up there at all.
46
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,598
They're all Spanish.
47
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:00,438
- We know.
- We know.
48
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,790
Mmm.
49
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:12,835
Ice cream tastes so much nicer
when the sun's shining, don't it?
50
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:14,553
Yeah. Definitely.
51
00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,436
I wonder how they do that.
52
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,519
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
53
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,511
(WHIMPERING) I'm gonna miss you
so much, Mateo.
54
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:33,871
Hey, come on. No tears.
55
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,276
You're going to miss your plane.
56
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:39,679
Call me tonight.
57
00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:44,511
My sweet, my love,
I will call you every night.
58
00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:46,790
Come on. We're gonna be late.
59
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,599
Do you love me?
60
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:54,312
Hey, come on, Lisa,
61
00:03:55,720 --> 00:04:00,476
I think, deep down,
you know the answer to that question.
62
00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:03,079
I love you, too.
63
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,510
Go.
64
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:14,995
Go.
65
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:29,634
Come on, Mateo.
It's change-over day today
66
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,910
and I want this bar spotless.
67
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,319
- Hola!- Hiya!
68
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,391
So that's up to the top,
across the square, first on the right.
69
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,715
Gracias.
70
00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,630
- Few steps, I'm afraid.
- That's fine.
71
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:12,991
- It'll do us good to stretch our legs.
- Yes, quite.
72
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:14,750
Oh!
73
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,909
How long does it take
to hire a bloody wheelchair?
74
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,474
I've bought houses in less time.
75
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:13,114
- When have you ever bought a house?
- Monopoly.
76
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,151
It's a figure of speech.
77
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,550
Ay up, here he comes.
Didsbury's answer to Julio Iglesias.
78
00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,113
If he mentions his five sunbed
shops again, I'm gonna deck him.
79
00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:26,550
There you go, me darling,
queen of the road.
80
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,911
Oh, thanks, Mel.
You didn't have to, you know.
81
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:33,273
You do realise there are people here
that might actually need a wheelchair.
82
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,313
You don't have to be a cripple
to have a wheelchair.
83
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,750
I'm entitled to take it easy
while I'm on holiday.
84
00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:39,995
While you're on holiday?
85
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,078
You do nowt but sit on your bony arse
the other 51 weeks of the year.
86
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,716
Maybe you should have had one of these
when you were fiddling your disability.
87
00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,751
You might've got away with it then.
88
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:51,998
It's funny. I've always dreamed of
seeing you in an electric chair, Madge.
89
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,270
Unfortunately, this isn't exactly
what I had in mind.
90
00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,392
Do you think we could stop arguing
for five minutes and get checked in?
91
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:01,036
- I'd quite like to start my holiday.
- Excuse me, Janice.
92
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,551
I paid for this holiday,
I'll set the pace, thank you.
93
00:07:05,200 --> 00:07:07,760
Slowly but surely, that's my motto.
94
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:13,117
I didn't set up five sunbed shops in
the Greater Manchester area overnight.
95
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,471
Took me nearly six months.
96
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,314
What have your bloody sunbed shops
got to do with this holiday?
97
00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:23,479
- And what is that smell?
- Mam, I think Coolio shat himself again.
98
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,716
No wonder he's out of control
99
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:29,390
A teenage mother,
a father from God knows where.
100
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,510
Oddly enough, mother,
101
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:33,951
babies tend to fill their nappies
regardless of parentage.
102
00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:37,550
- You are such a racist.
- I am not a racialist.
103
00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:41,674
we had a black fella living next door
to us when we were down Lymington Garth.
104
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,029
He was no bother at all.
105
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:45,720
Yeah, and he was still
three shades lighter than you.
106
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,478
Come here to your nana, poor angel.
107
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:49,159
(COOLIO WHINING)
108
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,237
Ooh, he is a bit whiffy, isn't he?
109
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,317
Right. Onward.
110
00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,832
Mum, the baby stinks.
It's stinging me eyes.
111
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,713
JANICE: Don't breathe, Michael.
Don't breathe.
112
00:08:03,120 --> 00:08:04,554
(BELL TOLLING)
113
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,959
(MARTIN PANTING)
114
00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,830
Ah gracias!
115
00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:16,591
- MICHAEL: Mam, I'm tired.
- Nearly there.
116
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,393
- Telle, can you give me a piggy back?
- CHANTELLE: Piss off.
117
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,397
Hey! Language, lady.
118
00:09:20,520 --> 00:09:22,318
MEL: Hang on a minute.
119
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,996
- Is this it?
- What do you mean, "Is this it"?
120
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,238
Well, is this the pool and
are these the sunbeds?
121
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:32,999
That big, round, wet thing's the pool
122
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,679
and them blue and white things
are the sunbeds.
123
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,076
- Sorry if it's confusing.
- You know what I mean?
124
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,237
Is this the only pool,
are these the only sunbeds?
125
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,557
- Yeah. Is there a point to any of this?
- None of this is right.
126
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:44,990
Mam, I have to change Coolio.
I can't breathe.
127
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,315
Can we do this later, Mel?
128
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:50,035
Says in the brochure there's
a diving board and a breakfast area.
129
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,151
- Mum, can I get in the pool?
- Not yet, darling.
130
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:54,556
- Mum!
- We've gonna have to get in these rooms.
131
00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:56,796
Well, tell Judith bloody Chalmers that!
132
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:59,196
Mel, we'll see you up there.
Thank you, love.
133
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,790
No, no, no. Hang on a minute.
Where's the diving board?
134
00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,434
If we've paid for a diving board,
we should have one.
135
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:06,630
He don't speak any English.
136
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,989
How do you know
he don't speak any English?
137
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,997
Because if he did
he'd have answered you by now.
138
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,315
Now, come on!
139
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,511
- Come on, mam.
- Can we get moving?
140
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,678
By God, that's a rough lot
if ever I've seen one.
141
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,714
Look at the state of them.
This place is going right down market.
142
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,832
JANICE: We're trying to.
What do you think we're trying to do?
143
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,519
Geez, it stinks.
144
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,278
Oh, it's that family
that were here last year.
145
00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:32,518
- Is it?
- Yeah. Don't you remember?
146
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:35,598
Their little lad
did a number two in the pool.
147
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,238
Hiya. You all right?
148
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,590
Looks like he couldn't wait
to get in the pool this time.
149
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:48,794
Leave your cases here.
I will have them sent up.
150
00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,072
- Room 203.
-203. Brilliant.
151
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,517
- Muchos gracias.
- De nada.
152
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:56,790
(BIRD CHIRPING)
153
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,992
It's a little rustic, but it has
a certain charm, don't you think?
154
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:01,599
It's wonderful.
155
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,838
So I take it I'm forgiven for making you
punch me in the face at Gatwick.
156
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,873
I didn't punch you, Martin.
Don't exaggerate.
157
00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:13,998
When you said we were flying
to Alicante,
158
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:16,111
I just had a bit of a panic attack,
that's all.
159
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,550
Here we are,
well away from the horrors of Benidorm,
160
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,354
but practically the same price.
161
00:11:21,480 --> 00:11:23,756
What can I say? You're a genius.
162
00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:28,953
Martin, Katie, what a lovely surprise!
163
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:33,960
Hola!
164
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,471
You lot didn't mind me and Madge
taking the two-bed apartment, did you?
165
00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,194
No. we've always dreamed
of living in a one-bedroomed flat.
166
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,197
Yeah, all five of us.
167
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,038
It's just that,
naturally I want to be with Madge,
168
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:57,595
but I can't expect her
to share a bed with me,
169
00:11:57,720 --> 00:12:00,314
not until I've taken her up the aisle.
170
00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,349
(LAUGHING) Apparently,
it only hurts the first time.
171
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:05,232
All right, thank you.
172
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,153
Do you know,
I've got five sunbed shops in...
173
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,032
Really? You should've mentioned it.
174
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:12,596
But, to be honest,
nothing compares to the real thing.
175
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:16,600
Right. I think I'll have a dip.
176
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,109
Yeah. I might join you in a min...
177
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,393
- Jesus Christ!
- Ugh! What is he wearing?
178
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,794
Are they supposed to go right
up his crack
179
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,036
or is he just chewing cloth?
180
00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,115
BOTH: Whoa!
181
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:34,790
Oh, my God! I'm not sitting next to him
when he gets back.
182
00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:37,715
Oh, my guts are doing somersaults.
183
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,673
Hey, so are mine now,
thanks to your fella.
184
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,516
I'm sorry.
There seems to be a double booking.
185
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,074
Well, could you give us
another room, please?
186
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,750
- You can see my wife is very upset.
- I'm not upset. I'm fine.
187
00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:56,234
Can you just give us
another room, please?
188
00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,159
I'm sorry, the hotel is full
it is fiesta.
189
00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:03,394
There is, how you say,
much excitement in Altea today.
190
00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,477
Yes. I think we saw that.
191
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,956
I can offer you a larger room
in our sister hotel
192
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,593
- Only a few minutes away.
- Brilliant.
193
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,755
Yes. That would be wonderful.
194
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:12,915
- Thank you.
- Welcome.
195
00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:14,360
Cabrillo! Cabrillo!
196
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,994
There we go, sister hotel, panic over.
197
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:19,754
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
198
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:34,512
- Martin! Katie!
- Ah, I think we've missed them.
199
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,520
- Excuse me, sir, are you residents?
- Uh no.
200
00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,075
We've just been
looking up an old friend.
201
00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:45,239
He's very athletic. Can I call a taxi?
202
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:51,392
Would you mind? No español.
203
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,715
Hola!
204
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:57,515
Hola!
205
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,358
(MICK AND JANICE LAUGHING)
206
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,074
Will somebody tell me what's going on?
207
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,198
Pass us key up.
I think he's done another one.
208
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,640
Da-da.
209
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,513
Does anyone want owt from upstairs?
210
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,280
Yeah, two gas masks
and a pair of pants with an arse in them
211
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,596
for cheeky Charlie over there.
212
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:20,835
- Well?
- It's Mel, he's wearing...
213
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,712
Oh God! Mum!
214
00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:25,912
What is he wearing?
What are you talking about?
215
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,192
Grandad's pants go right up his bum.
216
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:31,073
Hey, I've told you,
he's not your grandad.
217
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:38,994
He's as good as.
He's done more for them kids
218
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,952
in the three weeks I've known him
than you ever have.
219
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,469
- Hey, I'm not having that.
- Oh really? Do you think so?
220
00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,637
Well, at least I don't go
parading up and down in front of them
221
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:49,879
- wearing women's knick...
- Hello Mel, how's the pool?
222
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,877
Bit cold, to be honest.
223
00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,240
Yeah. I can see that.
224
00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,159
Here you are, Mel Get yourself
covered up. You'll catch your death.
225
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,157
What, in this heat? No.
226
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:04,638
Just gonna point Percy at the porcelain,
then another dip before lunch.
227
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,994
Oh, mother,
you're gonna have to have a word.
228
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,474
Who's Percy?
229
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:33,909
- No, I'm sorry. This can't be right.
- Sí. Sister hotel
230
00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:40,511
I told you, you wouldn't like it.
Welcome to paradise.
231
00:15:42,520 --> 00:15:47,435
Martin, Katie,
we could've shared a cab after all.
232
00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:51,519
- No matter, we'll get your bags.
- I'll get four sunbeds.
233
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:54,553
I need to get in that pool I'm red raw.
234
00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:01,516
See, what it is,
your line of entry's all to cock.
235
00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:05,110
-I noticed that from over there.
- You're joking, arn't ya?
236
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,278
I'm on the reserve team
for high diving for 2012.
237
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,835
2012, what's that?
Your neck and shoe size?
238
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:13,713
No. 2012, the Olympics.
239
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,354
I've got a classic swimmer's build,
I have.
240
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,994
Just out of season, you know,
with me training.
241
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:23,114
I've lost me six-pack and everything.
242
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,073
Lost your six-pack?
Lost your bloody mind, you mean.
243
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,953
You're honestly trying to tell me
you're on a diving team.
244
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,832
Your body's meant to be straight
when you enter the water.
245
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,871
That were a bellyflop.
246
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:36,038
Yeah. That's because
I haven't got the height.
247
00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:39,996
I'm a finely-tuned athlete.
I can't work under amateur conditions.
248
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:43,158
- Do you want your inhaler, son?
- No.
249
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,280
Here, watch me.
250
00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:48,631
What about that thing
that stops the water going up your nose?
251
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,637
Mam, will you sit down?
252
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,390
There you go.
253
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:57,399
You get yourself sat in the sun
while Martin checks you in.
254
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:01,434
I must admit,
we were surprised to see you back here.
255
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:06,909
If it were me who'd picked up that shite
in the pool last year
256
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,270
I don't think I'd have come back.
257
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,836
Ooh, I can be a bit queasy
about things like that.
258
00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,590
- Can't I, Donald?
- Very sensitive woman, my Jacqueline.
259
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:21,710
No. I take my hat off to you.
There's not many people I know
260
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:27,279
can stand waist-high in water
looking at a floating poo.
261
00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:31,155
- Shows real depth of character.
- Oh, yes.
262
00:17:31,280 --> 00:17:32,634
Oh, and then there was all that bother
263
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:36,799
about you sleeping
with the barman as well, wasn't there?
264
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,479
That's right.
265
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:41,353
Well, I say sleeping with him,
266
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,189
we heard it was only a quickie
in the afternoon,
267
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,755
but you know how people gossip.
268
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:49,799
Are you okay?
269
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,880
- I feel slightly faint.
- Oh, that'll be the heat.
270
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,274
Can we get you a drink?
271
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:57,916
They do a very good
Harvey Floor Banger. Yeah.
272
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,429
- Is he all nice and changed?
- Yeah. Do you want him?
273
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,915
Oh, come on. Come to your nana.
274
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,079
Ooh, ooh, don't you smell gorgeous now.
275
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,679
Make the most of it. It won't last long.
276
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:15,837
He's gonna be handsome bugger
when he's older, isn't he?
277
00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,234
- CHANTELLE: Of course, he is.
- Yeah.
278
00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,271
Like grandfather, like son.
279
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,040
Let's hope he gets your modesty an'all.
280
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,117
Michael, steady on with that burger.
Nobody's gonna take it off you.
281
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,560
I'm hungry.
282
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:40,909
That fat lad's gonna have a coronary
if he carries on diving in like that.
283
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,030
We'll all have one if we have to
284
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,391
look at your fancy man's saggy ass
for much longer.
285
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:02,078
No, no. Rubbish.
I told you, point of entry,
286
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:06,353
your body should be at right angles
to the water. Watch me.
287
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,630
Well, I think
if you've got an all-over tan,
288
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,876
you may as well show it off.
289
00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:13,515
Come on then, Madge, flop 'em out.
290
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,553
(EXCLAIMS)
291
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:24,834
(SIGHS)
292
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,035
Mel?
293
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,797
Mel, are you all right?
294
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,675
Mel!
295
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:39,352
Oh my God. He's not coming back up.
296
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,474
- He's not coming back up!
- What's wrong?
297
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:46,160
GEOFF: Well, he only went in.
He's just not surfaced.
298
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,953
(PEOPLE CLAMOURING)
299
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,115
- What's going on?
- He's not come up.
300
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,390
- MADGE: What is it? What's wrong?
- He went in at that bloody angle.
301
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,955
It were him, showing off his diving.
302
00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,959
You fat idiot, what were you playing at?
303
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:05,835
You've killed me husband
before I've had chance to marry him!
304
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,196
- Mel?
- It's all right. Is he all right?
305
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:10,231
- Mel! No! Mel!
- There's no blood on him.
306
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:11,839
He's not conscious.
Mick, he's not conscious.
307
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,519
JANICE: Do you think
he's banged his head on bottom?
308
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:16,837
Have you got him, love?
You've got him. Well done.
309
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,670
Oh my God! Somebody ring an ambulance.
310
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,839
I think he'll be all right.
It's only his big toe.
311
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,349
Not for him, you silly cow.
312
00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,790
Oh, what's happened to his skin?
Is he all right?
313
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,150
- Look at the colour of it.
- He always looks like that.
314
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,237
He's got five sunbed shops
in Manchester.
315
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,751
- Mam! Mam, Michael's choking!
- Oh my God! Michael!
316
00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:43,839
Dear God, don't let him die.
Don't let him die!
317
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,914
Up! Up! Up!
318
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,072
Mick! Mick!
319
00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,675
- Do something.
- Mickl
320
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:03,789
Dear God, please don't let him die!
Don't let him die!
321
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,714
Hola!
322
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:20,276
Can I borrow your towel, please?
323
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,720
(SCREAMING)
324
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,149
Oh God!
325
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,836
Kate, it's okay. I'm coming.
326
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,793
Come on, push. Push!
327
00:21:40,920 --> 00:21:43,070
You can do it. You can do it.
328
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:48,438
Jesus Christ!
329
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,473
And you didn't want to come back?
Come on.
330
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,159
(PEOPLE CLAMOURING CONTINUES)
331
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,880
MARTIN: Kate! Kate! I'm coming!
332
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,793
(KATE YELLING)
333
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,240
MARTIN: Take that!
MATEO: Hey!
26654
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