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1
00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,719
Excuse me. Sorry, have you got a moment?
2
00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:39,151
- Yeah. What do you want, love?
- Can I talk to you about melanoma?
3
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:40,918
No. I don't know her, darling.
4
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,951
- I'm sorry?
- I don't know her.
5
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,354
Who?
6
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,872
Melanie... What was her second name?
7
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,231
No. Melanoma.
It's a form of skin cancer.
8
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:52,749
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.
9
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:58,031
Still, if she's on holiday,
it'll take her mind off it, won't it?
10
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:02,119
- Take whose mind off what?
- Your friend who's got cancer.
11
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:06,389
- No, my friend hasn't got cancer.
- Well. what's all the fuss about, then?
12
00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,753
- No, I'm sorry. Can we start again?
- Oh, I'd rather you didn't, love.
13
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:15,158
I'm sorry you can't find your friend,
but there's not a lot I can do about it.
14
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,873
I'd give up if I were you, love.
15
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,469
This is the most sense she's made
since we got here.
16
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,353
Well, can I leave a leaflet with you?
17
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:24,312
- All right, love.
- Okay.
18
00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:28,354
- You all right, mam?
- Yeah. Young lass has lost her friend.
19
00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,600
Mind you,
she isn't going to find her with this.
20
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:36,031
The only picture they've got
is of her spotty back.
21
00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,197
- Let's have a look.
- Ew!
22
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,153
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CD PLAYER)
23
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,039
The Quo.
24
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:13,594
- Are you there, darling?
- Coming.
25
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,279
What, again?
26
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:17,960
Right, well, we've missed breakfast
by a long chalk,
27
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,674
but no matter,
snacks start in half an hour.
28
00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,029
Oh, lovely.
29
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,515
You wanna try taking a couple of gobfuls
of air between ciggies, you know.
30
00:02:48,640 --> 00:02:51,029
Nice bit of breakfast that,
this morning.
31
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,549
I thought it'd be all frog's legs
and all that rubbish,
32
00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:56,320
but no, good English fry-up. Very nice.
33
00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,435
Mind you, I've got a bit of something
trapped in me teeth.
34
00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:04,278
(SUCKING NOISES)
35
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,270
I think it's a bit of bacon fat.
36
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,119
Yeah, well,
spare us the details, thanks.
37
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,795
- Mam, give over!
- I'm not gonna leave it there, am I?
38
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,672
Why don't you just give your teeth
to our Michael?
39
00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,314
He'll give them a swill in the pool.
40
00:03:21,440 --> 00:03:22,874
(LAUGHING)
41
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:28,552
Where is our Michael?
42
00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:35,151
Oh, look who it is!
It's the belle of Benidorm.
43
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,794
Hello!
It's Mr and Mrs Stewart, isn't it?
44
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:39,831
Donald and Jacqueline, please.
45
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:41,837
You remember Kelly from last year,
don't you?
46
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,839
Course I do!
Oh, don't you look smashing?
47
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:47,759
- Oh, thank you.
- So you've decided to stay on?
48
00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,236
Yeah. The money's still rubbish,
but it was worth it.
49
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,759
- Oh, would you look at that!
- Lovely.
50
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,511
Mateo and I are getting married
next year.
51
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,599
- Oh, him.
- Right, well, I'd better get on.
52
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,314
I've got to give these leaflets out
and then start the kid's club, so...
53
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,238
All right, sweetheart. See you later.
54
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,680
- Bye.
- Bye.
55
00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:15,956
Look at the state of that.
Like flies to shite.
56
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,199
There must be a flight to London today.
Will you please check again?
57
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:24,870
The only flight you'll get today
will cost you 310 euros.
58
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,713
- Each.
- You're joking.
59
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,913
And that's if you can get to Alicante
in the next 14 minutes.
60
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,515
Oh, this is ridiculous!
61
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,232
Um, thank you.
62
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:49,432
Can't shift that bit of bacon fat.
I think it's bacon fat.
63
00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,076
Telle, go and have a look
for our Michael.
64
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:55,158
- I'm doing summat.
- It weren't so bad when it were salty,
65
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:58,796
but it's lost all it's flavour now.
It just feels horrible.
66
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,877
Do you mind?
I'm gonna have me dinner in a minute.
67
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:05,198
- He was here a minute ago.
- It's just stuck there, won't move.
68
00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:10,510
It's at the front and the back.
69
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,991
It's definitely wedged in.
70
00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,479
Oh, do you know,
there's nowt more irritating.
71
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,672
I can think of something
more bloody irritating!
72
00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:23,992
Why don't you just take your teeth out
and sort it? Give us all a bit of peace.
73
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:25,838
I'm not taking me teeth out here.
74
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,759
Well, then, can we not have
the running commentary?
75
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,510
- Well, how long is it gonna be there?
- How the bloody hell do I know!
76
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,393
With your breath,
I'm surprised it's not disintegrated.
77
00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:39,070
You disgust me, do you know that?
You've got the manners of an animal.
78
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,350
Ha! That's a bit rich
coming from someone
79
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,359
who's got half a pig wedged in her gob!
80
00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,232
(MICK SNORTING)
81
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:51,029
- Oh, that's enough.
- Hey, come on. You're on holiday.
82
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,030
- Thanks.
- De nada. Hey, cari�o.
83
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,950
- Come on, get your kit off.
- I beg your pardon?
84
00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:02,193
- Coming in?
- I'd rather drink bleach.
85
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,880
Get a gobful of this water,
you'll be drinking more than bleach.
86
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,195
Oh.
87
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,315
Oh!
88
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:16,953
Ugh, I'm convinced that hideous-looking
woman only gets in to have a piss.
89
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:18,639
That is a bloke.
90
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:21,510
Oh, my God!
91
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:25,434
Excuse me.
92
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:29,317
When you've got a minute.
93
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:34,958
Is this your money on the bar?
Oh, no, my mistake.
94
00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,551
- Slow Comfortable Screw, please.
- Sorry, boss. No cocktails.
95
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,832
- What do you mean, no cocktails?
- You want beer?
96
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:46,397
Yes, I'll have a beer.
That'll be easier for you, won't it?
97
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,672
And an orange juice,
if it's not too much trouble.
98
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,633
I hear congratulations are in order.
99
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:56,596
Sorry, my English very bad.
100
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,198
Yes, when it suits you.
101
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:04,634
We met Kelly last year, lovely girl.
102
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:09,877
Oh, Kelly, yeah. She is very beautiful.
103
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:13,994
Yes, she is. A beautiful girl
and a beautiful person.
104
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,233
We'd hate to see her get hurt.
105
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:19,950
Nuts?
106
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,389
You keep your nuts to yourself.
107
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,480
Here we are, ladies.
Large vodka and orange.
108
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,079
Hey, good job no one's counting, Madge,
109
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:37,759
otherwise they'd know
it was your fourth!
110
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,791
Shut up. I'm on holiday.
111
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,989
- Did you see our Michael?
- No, I didn't see him.
112
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,270
- What, and that's it?
- What do you mean?
113
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,835
Our son is missing and
all you can say is I didn't see him?
114
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,793
He's not missing, is he?
He's just not here.
115
00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:54,909
Why don't you go and look for him?
116
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,115
No, you're right. He can't be far.
He'll be back when he's hungry.
117
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,756
Well, I'm off for a wander.
I'll keep an eye out for him.
118
00:08:02,880 --> 00:08:04,234
Where are you going?
119
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,512
I'll thank you to keep that
out of my business, young lady.
120
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:12,032
Don't you worry. I try and keep that
as far away from you as possible.
121
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,359
(SCREAMING)
122
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,198
Sorry! Sorry!
123
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:23,311
What about tomorrow!
124
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,798
Well, I don't care.
Gatwick, Stansted, Luton. Anywhere.
125
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:33,591
Not one seat? No, don't bother.
126
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,150
- Any luck?
- What do you think?
127
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:40,310
- Another five days in this squalor.
- It's hardly squalor.
128
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:45,073
Okay, so the room's not up to much,
the food could be a bit better.
129
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,840
And some of the people
are a bit rough around the edges,
130
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,190
but at least the sun's shining.
131
00:08:50,320 --> 00:08:53,597
The room is disgusting,
the food is atrocious,
132
00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,476
the people are revolting
and that sun is too hot.
133
00:08:59,560 --> 00:09:03,872
The room is adequate,
the food is basic and the people...
134
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:07,514
Well, at least
the people are enjoying themselves!
135
00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,759
The problem with you is you're
never satisfied with what you've got!
136
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:29,029
"Alternative to the front entrance,"
four letters.
137
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,230
Anal.
138
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,589
Bastard!
139
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:37,395
- Are you okay, pal?
- Me batteries have died.
140
00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:41,800
Oh, I see. What size are they?
We've got a few batteries in our room.
141
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,155
Double A?
142
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,918
Oh, no, they're the wee ones,
aren't they?
143
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,758
No, they're quite big, the ones we have.
144
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:51,238
Mind you, there won't be much juice
left in them after last night.
145
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,397
It's The Barnacle, isn't it?
146
00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,636
- The Oracle.
- Oh, yes.
147
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:59,151
Reigning Lancashire Pub Quiz Champion.
Unbeaten since...
148
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:05,231
- That's right, great name. The Oracle.
- Or Geoff. I don't mind either.
149
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,990
Good to know you, Geoff.
I'm Donald, this is Jacqueline.
150
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,396
- Hello.
- Yeah, I know. I remember.
151
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:14,797
Oh, that's right, we spoke before.
You're here with your mum.
152
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,991
Will you and your mum
be going to Neptune's
153
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,873
-for the karaoke tonight, Geoff?
- Oh, aye.
154
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,351
It'll be a good night
tomorrow night as well.
155
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,711
It's Terry Burke, hypnotist,
a personal friend of ours.
156
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,434
Nothing offensive, all good family fun.
157
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:32,349
Oh, right. Might go to that.
Me mum's seen a hypnotist before.
158
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,794
Yes. I can well believe that.
159
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,313
(SNORING)
160
00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,954
- How's your burger?
- Nice.
161
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,678
Enjoying yourself?
162
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,599
- It's only a burger.
- I mean, this holiday.
163
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,792
Yeah, it's good.
Better than being at home, innit?
164
00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,913
- I do worry about you, darling.
- What for?
165
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,758
What do you mean, what for?
166
00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,918
You're 16 and you're pregnant.
I'm worried about a lot of things.
167
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:09,590
- How you're gonna cope...
- I'm not getting rid of it!
168
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,439
I'm not saying you should get rid of it.
169
00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:21,156
Me nana said
that if I don't get rid of it,
170
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:25,069
then Social Services will take it off me
because of me age.
171
00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:29,239
When did you start taking
any notice of the things your nana says?
172
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,158
- Why is me nana so horrible?
- Your nana...
173
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,470
Your nana's had a hard life.
174
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,797
What was me grandad like?
175
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,589
He was a funny bugger. Most men are.
176
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,151
Wasn't he a fisherman or something?
177
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,750
He was a skipper on a boat.
He was at sea most of the time.
178
00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:01,598
Didn't he once bring home a monkey?
179
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,233
- He did, yeah.
- A real monkey?
180
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:06,079
Yeah. Only a little thing it was.
181
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,598
It ran up the curtains
and peed on your nana's head.
182
00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:11,313
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
183
00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,917
Is that why me nana smells?
184
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:19,357
I'm a pink toothbrush
You're a blue toothbrush
185
00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,114
Will you marry me some day?
186
00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,278
I'll be true, toothbrush
Just to you, toothbrush
187
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:30,395
If we both use the same toothpaste
188
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,033
(FEEDBACK ON SPEAKERS)
189
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,436
Thank you very much. Thank you!
190
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:50,555
- Hola.
- Oh, you surprised me.
191
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:54,878
Excuse me.
You look very hot and thirsty.
192
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:59,752
- I offer you Sex on the Beach.
- I beg your pardon?
193
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:03,919
Vodka, peach schnapps, creme de cassis,
orange and cranberry.
194
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,031
A beautiful long cocktail.
195
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,114
It's a bit early for me.
To drink, I mean. Alcohol.
196
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:13,917
Okay. I leave this for you.
197
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,679
I go now. I have my break.
198
00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:23,753
Twenty minutes.
199
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:28,393
Like you, I am very hot today also.
200
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:31,754
I go lie down on my bed in my room.
201
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:34,998
I leave the door open because I am hot.
202
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,834
Number 18.
203
00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,556
Yes, well, it is very hot today.
204
00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:44,318
I never see you smile.
205
00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:46,999
You are
206
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:53,157
beautiful lady
and deserve a beautiful holiday.
207
00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:58,154
It is my job to give you one.
208
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:04,834
I go now for my break in room 18.
209
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:22,390
NANA: If they don't mean what they say
210
00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,477
They don't mean...
211
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,954
(COUGHING)
212
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:32,349
...what they say
213
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:33,914
Yeah!
214
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,917
Now that is what
I call a woman in her prime.
215
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:11,838
Which is more than can be said
216
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,951
for the lounge lizard
that's flirting with her.
217
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,673
Ooh, it's lovely in there.
218
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,359
Aye, I noticed
you were enjoying yourself.
219
00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:19,551
Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll have to keep
an eye on that, won't I?
220
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,115
It's not the only thing
you were keeping an eye on, is it?
221
00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:26,120
Here she is, the only one I've got
eyes for, my beautiful daughter.
222
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:28,550
- Shut up!
- What have you got all these for?
223
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,353
Me mam said to get a few.
224
00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,232
She can't keep going
up and down for drinks.
225
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:33,794
She is pregnant, you know.
226
00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,709
Hey, how about that for timing?
Pass one over.
227
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,477
Where have you been?
We've been worried about you.
228
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,752
- Speak for yourself.
- He found himself a little kiddies club.
229
00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,598
Got some little friends now,
haven't you?
230
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,074
Oh, was it good?
231
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,716
Yeah, but then she came in
and started singing and made Jamie cry.
232
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:54,595
Aw, there's always one
to spoil it for the rest, isn't there?
233
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:06,871
- There you are.
- Where did you go?
234
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,071
I just went to get a newspaper
235
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,679
and I came back
more or less straightaway.
236
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,314
- Where have you been?
- I went upstairs for a lie down.
237
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,512
I just went upstairs to look for you.
You weren't in the room.
238
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,110
No. I went for a walk first,
then I went for a lie down.
239
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,915
You look hot. Are you feeling okay?
240
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,792
I'm fine. We're in Spain,
it's supposed to be hot.
241
00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:29,395
Yes.
242
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,633
Look, I'm really sorry I shouted at you.
243
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:40,151
What? Oh, don't be silly.
244
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:43,396
Let's go upstairs
and get showered and changed.
245
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,353
- We can go for an early dinner.
- What, here?
246
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,317
Well, it's all-inclusive.
247
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,398
We may as well make use
of all the facilities.
248
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,315
Come on.
249
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:11,473
All together now, ladies and gentlemen.
Just imagine you're on your holidays.
250
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:14,911
Are you happy, love? Let your face know.
251
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:18,675
Oh, thank you, darling.
252
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,714
Well, will you look at that?
Just what the doctor ordered.
253
00:17:22,840 --> 00:17:25,593
Jesus, who's your doctor?
Bernard Manning?
254
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:31,315
- How's your steak?
- Mmm, surprisingly good.
255
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:35,869
I thought this soup would be tinned,
but it tastes homemade.
256
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:39,518
- is that good or bad?
- Good.
257
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,359
Jacqueline loves the gays,
don't you, darling?
258
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:47,154
- Oh, yes.
- What were the names of your friends
259
00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:49,635
who used to buy
the rubber gloves from you?
260
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,434
Jacqueline used to work
in pharmaceutical sales.
261
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,233
Terry and Bernie.
262
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:58,433
Terry and Bernie,
big strapping lads, weren't they?
263
00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:00,517
Muscles in their spit.
264
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:04,599
Dead now, but my God,
what a smashing couple.
265
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:06,040
They were.
266
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:10,074
Big burly guys, army crew cuts,
big moustaches,
267
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,350
looked like lumberjacks, didn't they?
268
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:16,314
- Nothing poofy about them. No offence.
- None taken.
269
00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:21,116
You know, I reckon you gays
can teach the straights a thing or two.
270
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,880
- Do you know what I mean?
- What? Fashion sense?
271
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:28,233
No, no, no, no.
I mean, I don't mean to he graphic,
272
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:34,434
but there's nothing more a wife can do
to show her husband that she loves him
273
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:40,317
than by letting him, you know,
park his car round the back.
274
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,555
Yes.
275
00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,873
Flowers are nice.
276
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,274
Oh.
277
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:54,713
Okay, let's get this party started.
And a very, very warm Benidorm welcome
278
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:58,310
to our first karaoke cab
off the rank tonight,
279
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,750
singing You're the One that I want,
280
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:04,589
it's Geoff Maltby,
also known as The Oracle,
281
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:07,314
ah, and his mother!
282
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:09,194
She's me PA.
283
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:15,430
Whoo!
284
00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,391
I got chills
285
00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:20,830
They're multiplying
286
00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:24,351
And I'm losing control
287
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:28,756
'Cause the power you're supplying
288
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:30,200
It's electrifying >
289
00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,391
I know we've not been getting on lately,
290
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,559
and maybe this holiday
was a bit of a mistake.
291
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:42,399
Maybe... Maybe we won't be able
to work things out.
292
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:47,071
Maybe we'll decide to call it a day,
but at least for the rest of this week,
293
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,918
nobody�s going to be able to say
I didn't try.
294
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:55,920
You're the one that I want
You are the one I want
295
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:57,917
GEOFF'S MUM: Ooh, hoo, hoo
296
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,394
The one that I want:..
297
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,875
I was going to give you this
on the last day,
298
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,196
but I want you to have it now.
299
00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:14,191
I love you even more
than the day I married you, Kate.
300
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:17,356
The one that I want
You are the one I want
301
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,073
Woo hoo hoo
302
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,635
The one that I want
You are one I want
303
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,593
I know we can make this work
if we both try.
304
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,520
Oh, yes, indeed
305
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,154
You're the one that I want
You are the one I want
306
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,078
It's up to you.
307
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,759
The one that I want
308
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,795
Woo hoo hoo
309
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:39,754
Kate? What is it? What have I done now!
310
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:42,038
The one I need
I need
311
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,276
Oh, yes, indeed
Yes, indeed
312
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,157
Walt, wait. You are okay?
313
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,396
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Please just let me go.
314
00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,558
I cannot let you go like this.
You are a beautiful lady.
315
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,273
Please do not cry.
316
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,073
- Get off me!
- Wait.
317
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,272
Look, what happened
this afternoon between us was a mistake.
318
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,119
You understand? A big mistake.
319
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:07,757
But your eyes, I look into your eyes,
they tell me you want Mateo.
320
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:11,350
It was just sex. You don't know me.
321
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,320
Kelly! This is not what it seems.
322
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,155
You said you wouldn't do it again.
You promised.
323
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,396
Kelly, please, you don't understand.
324
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:26,638
This woman is mad.
I've never seen her before.
325
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,034
Excuse me!
326
00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,312
What I have done may be stupid,
but I am not mad!
327
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,676
Did you see where the ring went?
328
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:47,078
You are the one I want
Woo hoo hoo
329
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,874
The one that I want
You are the one I want
26625
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