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1
00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:35,326
No.
2
00:00:38,731 --> 00:00:39,720
No.
3
00:00:44,411 --> 00:00:45,730
No.
-Oh, for crying out loud.
4
00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:48,450
Michael, go back to the desk
and ask them which car it is.
5
00:00:48,531 --> 00:00:50,044
He doesn't have to go back.
6
00:00:50,131 --> 00:00:52,087
One of these numbers is
definitely a six.
7
00:00:52,171 --> 00:00:54,048
All the number plates
have got a six in them!
8
00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:55,445
No, they haven't.
9
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:04,729
Do you think that little light should
be coming on when I press it?
10
00:01:04,811 --> 00:01:08,360
Oh, come on! We're wasting time,
we've been here too long!
11
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:11,807
Hey, hey, calm down, you, where
do you think you are, The Crystal Maze?
12
00:01:11,891 --> 00:01:13,847
Push that trolley for your mother,
she's getting a sweat on.
13
00:01:13,931 --> 00:01:16,809
You push the trolley!
-I'm doing this.
14
00:01:16,891 --> 00:01:19,610
Just give me the key and I'll go back.
-Give him the key!
15
00:01:19,691 --> 00:01:21,363
There's no point giving him the key
16
00:01:21,451 --> 00:01:22,600
'cause you can't read
all of the numbers on it.
17
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:25,842
I know you can't read all the numbers
but they might know which one it is!
18
00:01:27,051 --> 00:01:28,530
No.
-And while he's there
19
00:01:28,611 --> 00:01:30,841
he can pick up the contract
that you left on the desk.
20
00:01:31,051 --> 00:01:33,611
I never left it on the desk, she didn't
give it me in the first place.
21
00:01:33,691 --> 00:01:36,080
She did give it to you
and you put it on the desk.
22
00:01:36,171 --> 00:01:38,810
Well, if you saw me put it on the desk
why didn't you pick it up?
23
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,370
Just give him the key!
24
00:01:40,451 --> 00:01:42,009
(CAR BEEPING)
25
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,961
We weren't even in the right bloody row!
26
00:01:45,051 --> 00:01:48,088
Hey, chill out, we're on holiday!
27
00:02:05,811 --> 00:02:08,166
(CHILDREN LAUGHING)
28
00:02:16,731 --> 00:02:18,961
(POOLSIDE YELLING)
29
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:21,530
What's he doing?
30
00:02:29,291 --> 00:02:30,565
(COUGHING)
31
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,323
Choking, mainly.
32
00:02:36,011 --> 00:02:38,161
(COUGHING)
33
00:02:38,251 --> 00:02:39,650
It's a bit like watching
one of them rats
34
00:02:39,731 --> 00:02:42,199
that can't get out of a maze
but keeps trying.
35
00:02:42,331 --> 00:02:43,320
(YELLING)
36
00:02:43,811 --> 00:02:47,645
That's not a very nice thing to say.
Rats are intelligent.
37
00:02:49,131 --> 00:02:51,804
(GIGGLES) It's a bit like
that film isn't it?
38
00:02:51,891 --> 00:02:53,722
What? When Harry Met Sally?
39
00:02:53,811 --> 00:02:55,164
No, Forrest Gump.
40
00:02:56,091 --> 00:02:57,240
Sorry!
41
00:02:57,891 --> 00:03:01,281
Excuse me, could I have my ball back?
42
00:03:03,331 --> 00:03:05,287
Can you pass me my ball, please?
43
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:07,409
We ain't got your ball.
44
00:03:07,491 --> 00:03:09,800
I wasn't really talking to you.
45
00:03:09,891 --> 00:03:11,006
You what?
46
00:03:11,091 --> 00:03:13,810
Excuse me, excuse me.
47
00:03:13,891 --> 00:03:16,359
Nat, Forrest wants a word.
48
00:03:16,731 --> 00:03:20,201
Hiya. I was wondering if you could
pass me my ball, please?
49
00:03:20,571 --> 00:03:22,289
I can't hear you.
50
00:03:22,371 --> 00:03:23,770
I'll get out!
51
00:03:23,851 --> 00:03:24,840
Huh?
52
00:03:27,211 --> 00:03:29,042
Run, Forrest, run!
53
00:03:44,851 --> 00:03:45,886
Hiya.
54
00:03:45,971 --> 00:03:47,882
Oh, I couldn't hear
what you were saying.
55
00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:50,679
I was just wondering if you could
pass me my beach ball.
56
00:03:51,411 --> 00:03:52,400
Oh, I see.
57
00:03:52,491 --> 00:03:54,288
But it's all right. I've got it now.
58
00:03:54,931 --> 00:03:56,967
Have you?
-Yeah, it's here.
59
00:03:57,811 --> 00:03:58,926
Oh, yeah?
60
00:03:59,011 --> 00:04:00,000
I'm Liam.
61
00:04:00,371 --> 00:04:02,282
Hello, Liam. I'm Natalie.
62
00:04:02,931 --> 00:04:04,444
Oh, that's a beautiful name.
63
00:04:04,531 --> 00:04:05,600
(SMIRKS)
64
00:04:05,691 --> 00:04:06,760
(LAUGHING)
65
00:04:06,851 --> 00:04:07,840
This is Sam.
66
00:04:07,931 --> 00:04:09,922
Ah, we used to have a dog called Sam.
67
00:04:10,371 --> 00:04:12,646
Me mum got rid of it
'cause it used to chew its bum.
68
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,160
(LAUGHING)
69
00:04:14,291 --> 00:04:16,327
You here on your own, Liam?
70
00:04:16,411 --> 00:04:19,642
No. Be a bit sad if I was here
on me own. I'm with me dad.
71
00:04:20,291 --> 00:04:21,724
Oh, you do surprise me.
72
00:04:21,811 --> 00:04:24,723
He's over here working.
Got me a cheap holiday.
73
00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:26,881
Thought I'd catch a few rays,
74
00:04:26,971 --> 00:04:30,168
get a nice tan to show off to
the lads back home.
75
00:04:30,251 --> 00:04:34,210
I did ask if some of them wanted to come
but they all seemed a bit busy.
76
00:04:34,571 --> 00:04:35,970
Mmm. Funny that, isn't it?
77
00:04:36,051 --> 00:04:38,770
Well, I say all of them,
my cousin Kendal wanted to come
78
00:04:38,851 --> 00:04:41,524
but he's a bit skint at the moment
'cause he's paying off a moped
79
00:04:41,611 --> 00:04:43,567
what he bought on
the internet by mistake.
80
00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,688
Plus, he's been having
a lot of asthma attacks recently.
81
00:04:46,771 --> 00:04:48,124
Liam, Liam, Liam.
82
00:04:49,211 --> 00:04:50,200
Shh.
83
00:04:50,891 --> 00:04:52,324
Well, I'll see youse around.
84
00:04:52,771 --> 00:04:54,443
Yeah, look after your ball.
85
00:04:55,891 --> 00:04:57,210
See ya.
86
00:05:02,211 --> 00:05:05,362
What? He's cute in a...
87
00:05:06,571 --> 00:05:08,368
funny sort of way.
88
00:05:08,451 --> 00:05:10,043
Lord have mercy.
89
00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:21,529
Mmm. That's the trouble with buffets,
they're very moreish, aren't they?
90
00:05:21,611 --> 00:05:23,249
This is an absolute outrage.
91
00:05:23,331 --> 00:05:26,960
Oh, there must be something you can eat.
Have a slice of toast, no butter
92
00:05:27,051 --> 00:05:29,519
I can't have toast, it's a carbohydrate.
93
00:05:29,651 --> 00:05:31,084
You had toast at work the other morning.
94
00:05:31,171 --> 00:05:33,082
Yes, hello? That was wholemeal bread.
95
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:35,401
It's till carbohydrate, isn't it?
96
00:05:36,131 --> 00:05:38,042
''Low fat options for all meals
97
00:05:38,131 --> 00:05:39,883
''plus fresh fruit available
throughout the day.''
98
00:05:39,971 --> 00:05:41,199
Look, it's there in black and white.
99
00:05:41,491 --> 00:05:45,450
Do you know? You can buy a pack
of eight sausages now for 1 6 pence.
100
00:05:45,531 --> 00:05:47,123
That's 2p each.
101
00:05:47,211 --> 00:05:48,963
Makes you wonder
what's in them, don't it?
102
00:05:50,291 --> 00:05:54,284
Excuse me,
you don't seem to have any brown bread.
103
00:05:54,371 --> 00:05:56,168
Yeah, I know.
-Well, why not?
104
00:05:56,251 --> 00:05:57,240
'Cause nobody eats it.
105
00:05:57,331 --> 00:05:58,844
Well, how can they eat it
if you don't have any?
106
00:05:58,931 --> 00:06:00,728
I can't argue with that.
107
00:06:00,811 --> 00:06:02,449
Excuse me, excuse me.
108
00:06:03,491 --> 00:06:05,447
Yeah?
-Where is the fruit?
109
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:06,520
Fruit?
110
00:06:06,611 --> 00:06:09,444
Yes. Eccentric, colourful food.
It grows on trees.
111
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,802
We don't give you pudding at breakfast.
112
00:06:11,891 --> 00:06:14,724
I'm not being funny
but if there's not enough on that table
113
00:06:14,811 --> 00:06:17,245
to feed you in the morning,
you must have worms.
114
00:06:17,411 --> 00:06:19,402
It says fresh fruit at all times!
115
00:06:20,331 --> 00:06:22,208
There you go, got you a yoghurt.
116
00:06:24,491 --> 00:06:26,288
''Toffee and banana.''
117
00:06:26,411 --> 00:06:28,561
Perfect, just eat the banana bit.
118
00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:13,289
Hello, Inland Revenue. Hello?
119
00:07:13,451 --> 00:07:15,123
She'll be outside.
120
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:28,763
Look at this!
121
00:07:28,851 --> 00:07:30,569
Whoa! This is cool!
122
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:33,609
Bloody hell! This has cost a bob or two.
123
00:07:33,691 --> 00:07:35,443
Right, I'm going in the pool.
You coming in, Dad?
124
00:07:35,531 --> 00:07:37,647
Yeah, in a minute.
125
00:07:37,731 --> 00:07:41,485
Hey, look at that!
What's me mam doing with a gold disc?
126
00:07:41,571 --> 00:07:43,880
Maybe it was one of Mel's?
127
00:07:43,971 --> 00:07:46,769
Well it won't be for his rendition of
Lonely Girl, I can tell you that.
128
00:07:46,851 --> 00:07:48,250
Oh, no, it's...
129
00:07:48,331 --> 00:07:49,844
Can I help you?
130
00:07:52,251 --> 00:07:54,845
I said, can I help you?
131
00:07:56,771 --> 00:07:57,965
You're Cilla Black.
132
00:07:58,371 --> 00:08:00,760
I know. How did you get in?
133
00:08:01,451 --> 00:08:03,282
It's Cilla Black.
134
00:08:03,411 --> 00:08:04,446
I know.
135
00:08:05,891 --> 00:08:07,449
Consuela!
136
00:08:10,051 --> 00:08:12,406
(MOUTHING)
137
00:08:23,451 --> 00:08:25,282
Consuela!
138
00:08:26,451 --> 00:08:28,646
Um... Where's Madge?
139
00:08:28,731 --> 00:08:31,165
Who's Madge?
-Madge Harvey.
140
00:08:31,731 --> 00:08:33,847
It's Cilla Black.
141
00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:37,649
Who let these people in?
142
00:08:37,811 --> 00:08:39,563
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
143
00:08:47,211 --> 00:08:50,408
Oh, I know what it is!
Surprise, Surprise.
144
00:08:50,491 --> 00:08:52,686
Oh, bloody hell! Of course!
145
00:08:52,811 --> 00:08:54,881
♪ Surprise, surprise
146
00:08:54,971 --> 00:08:58,646
♪ The unexpected slaps you
between the thighs ♪
147
00:08:58,731 --> 00:09:01,404
You've done her house up for
Surprise, Surprise, haven't you?
148
00:09:01,491 --> 00:09:03,288
Oh, you've done a lovely job.
149
00:09:03,371 --> 00:09:06,249
Hey, let's hope your mother hasn't got
any long lost relatives in Australia,
150
00:09:06,331 --> 00:09:08,891
we'll never get a look-in, in that pool.
151
00:09:08,971 --> 00:09:10,802
You coming in, Dad? It's beautiful.
152
00:09:13,531 --> 00:09:14,600
Hiya.
153
00:09:14,691 --> 00:09:20,049
Look, if all you people have not left
my house within the next 30 seconds,
154
00:09:20,131 --> 00:09:23,726
I'm going to call the police. Consuela!
155
00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:24,840
Your house?
156
00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:28,726
Oh, my God, she's moved
and forgot to tell us.
157
00:09:29,211 --> 00:09:30,530
Is everything okay?
158
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:35,244
Mick! Janice!
-What are you doing here?
159
00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:37,567
Do you know these people, Donald?
160
00:09:37,651 --> 00:09:40,563
Yes, Janice's mother and her husband,
Mel and Madge Harvey,
161
00:09:40,651 --> 00:09:43,165
were the previous owners of this house.
162
00:09:43,251 --> 00:09:46,721
We called by on Madge, too,
to see how she was coping on her own
163
00:09:46,811 --> 00:09:50,008
but we met Cilla and ended up, um,
164
00:09:50,091 --> 00:09:52,127
staying for a cocktail.
165
00:09:52,731 --> 00:09:54,403
Are you coming back?
166
00:09:54,491 --> 00:09:57,688
I can't hold this position much longer.
167
00:10:02,291 --> 00:10:03,610
We'd best be off.
168
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:06,282
Michael, get out that pool.
169
00:10:06,531 --> 00:10:11,207
We're really sorry to have bothered you.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Come on.
170
00:10:13,811 --> 00:10:15,483
It's not your nana's house.
171
00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:19,284
(GROANING)
172
00:10:21,131 --> 00:10:24,123
Oh, sorry, Jacqueline.
Here, let me help you with that.
173
00:10:24,771 --> 00:10:29,242
Yes, that fits nicely. Very kind of you.
174
00:10:29,371 --> 00:10:30,599
Well, you're very welcome.
175
00:10:30,691 --> 00:10:34,923
All that stuff was in the wardrobe
back there when I got here,
176
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:37,206
so, help yourself.
-Oh, lovely!
177
00:10:38,411 --> 00:10:42,290
Look, I'm just about to go
for a jacuzzi outside.
178
00:10:42,811 --> 00:10:44,529
Now, I don't know what your plans are,
179
00:10:44,891 --> 00:10:46,688
but you're very welcome to join me.
180
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:50,320
I'm afraid we haven't got
anything appropriate to wear.
181
00:10:50,411 --> 00:10:54,290
Oh, not a problem, I don't
usually bother with a swimsuit meself.
182
00:10:55,291 --> 00:10:59,443
And you both seem very... broad-minded.
183
00:10:59,531 --> 00:11:01,010
Absolutely!
184
00:11:01,611 --> 00:11:03,966
Oh, yes!
185
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,450
Consuela!
186
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:06,964
(SIGHING)
187
00:11:17,291 --> 00:11:19,441
Where do you think she's gone?
-I don't know.
188
00:11:19,771 --> 00:11:22,922
I think there's maybe just been
a bit of a mix-up, hasn't there?
189
00:11:23,011 --> 00:11:25,571
Well, if me nana's moved out of
her house,
190
00:11:25,931 --> 00:11:27,683
she's not answering her mobile,
191
00:11:27,811 --> 00:11:31,281
and she's not here,
that's quite a big mix-up, isn't it?
192
00:11:31,731 --> 00:11:33,289
Yeah. I suppose it is.
193
00:11:43,931 --> 00:11:45,284
Well?
194
00:11:46,531 --> 00:11:48,647
Madge sold the Benidorm Palace
three months ago.
195
00:11:48,851 --> 00:11:51,411
Three months ago?
She can't have done, she'd have told us.
196
00:11:52,531 --> 00:11:54,681
This is a right mix-up.
197
00:11:55,731 --> 00:11:57,926
Well, where do we go from here?
198
00:12:03,091 --> 00:12:06,083
Come on, you can do us a better rate
than that, we've stayed here before.
199
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,567
We're regulars.
-Oh, for God's sake, just pay it.
200
00:12:10,011 --> 00:12:12,479
I need a shower right now,
I smell like meat and potato pie.
201
00:12:12,571 --> 00:12:15,085
Well, where the flaming hell
has she gone? She can't just disappear.
202
00:12:15,531 --> 00:12:16,646
Thank you.
203
00:12:16,851 --> 00:12:19,126
I don't suppose you remember
me mother, do you?
204
00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:21,281
We've been here
a few times all together.
205
00:12:21,691 --> 00:12:22,680
No.
206
00:12:22,771 --> 00:12:25,683
Little woman, very tanned, about 70,
chain-smoker.
207
00:12:25,771 --> 00:12:27,648
Rides one of them mobility scooters.
208
00:12:27,891 --> 00:12:30,689
You have just described 90%
of the people in Benidorm.
209
00:12:30,811 --> 00:12:32,767
Her and me granddad bought
the Benidorm Palace.
210
00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:36,487
Ah, Señora Harvey,
the wedding on the beach?
211
00:12:36,571 --> 00:12:38,448
Yeah, that's the one. Harvey, yeah.
212
00:12:38,531 --> 00:12:39,884
You don't know what happened to her,
do you?
213
00:12:39,971 --> 00:12:41,689
Of course.
-Oh, thank God for that.
214
00:12:41,771 --> 00:12:43,204
They bought the Benidorm Palace.
215
00:12:44,571 --> 00:12:45,765
We know that.
216
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:49,719
Very sad about Señor Harvey.
You know, he die.
217
00:12:50,611 --> 00:12:52,522
Yeah, we know that as well.
218
00:12:52,611 --> 00:12:55,284
Apparently, me mother sold the
Benidorm Palace a few months ago.
219
00:12:55,371 --> 00:12:56,645
Do you know where she is now?
220
00:12:57,731 --> 00:13:01,690
(DRAWING OUT SYLLABLES) Eh... Um...
221
00:13:01,771 --> 00:13:03,409
No.
222
00:13:04,531 --> 00:13:07,489
Janey, do you know what happened
to the little lady in the wheelchair?
223
00:13:07,571 --> 00:13:09,562
She and her husband,
they bought the Palace.
224
00:13:09,651 --> 00:13:11,607
Oh, yeah, she sold it a few months ago.
225
00:13:11,931 --> 00:13:13,330
Yes, they know that.
226
00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:15,003
Her husband passed away.
227
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:16,410
Yeah, we know all this!
228
00:13:16,491 --> 00:13:18,959
We just want to try and find out
if you know where she is now?
229
00:13:19,971 --> 00:13:23,566
(DRAWING OUT SYLLABLE) Erm... No.
230
00:13:23,691 --> 00:13:26,364
Oh! Right, come on, let's freshen up.
231
00:13:27,651 --> 00:13:30,723
Oh, hang on, have you
tried the El Cisne?
232
00:13:30,811 --> 00:13:31,846
The what?
233
00:13:31,931 --> 00:13:35,128
Second-hand market, she had
a stall there a couple of weeks ago.
234
00:13:35,211 --> 00:13:36,439
You could always try there
235
00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:45,964
(GROANING)
236
00:13:47,491 --> 00:13:50,324
Oh, I think I've had too much breakfast.
I can't move.
237
00:13:51,291 --> 00:13:54,203
(GROANS) I think it was
that fried bread that did it.
238
00:13:55,851 --> 00:13:59,810
Isn't it funny? You feel like a bit of
a pig when you make fried bread at home.
239
00:13:59,891 --> 00:14:01,563
But on holiday you just
shovel it in, don't you?
240
00:14:01,651 --> 00:14:03,004
Yes, you did.
241
00:14:03,091 --> 00:14:04,570
Mind you, I say I'm full,
242
00:14:04,651 --> 00:14:07,961
but I could always eat something sweet,
you know, after a big meal.
243
00:14:08,051 --> 00:14:10,326
Oh, yeah. Seriously.
244
00:14:10,411 --> 00:14:11,764
I could be fit to bust,
245
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,921
doesn't matter if I can feel
the food sitting in me neck,
246
00:14:14,171 --> 00:14:15,160
if someone says to me,
247
00:14:15,251 --> 00:14:17,242
''Do you want to go halves on
a pineapple fritter?'' I'm there.
248
00:14:17,331 --> 00:14:19,561
(TEXT MESSAGE BEEPING)
249
00:14:23,211 --> 00:14:25,008
Is that Troy?
-Yes.
250
00:14:25,811 --> 00:14:26,800
Aw...
251
00:14:28,131 --> 00:14:30,122
Isn't it funny how
history repeats itself.
252
00:14:30,891 --> 00:14:33,724
He finds out his son wants
to get in touch with him,
253
00:14:33,811 --> 00:14:36,245
then Troy's dad gets in touch with him.
254
00:14:36,731 --> 00:14:37,880
Ooh!
255
00:14:37,971 --> 00:14:40,690
Talking of things repeating,
I'm regretting that third sausage.
256
00:14:40,851 --> 00:14:42,443
(GROANING)
257
00:14:44,531 --> 00:14:45,725
Everything all right?
258
00:14:45,811 --> 00:14:48,200
Yes, apparently his
condition is stable now.
259
00:14:48,851 --> 00:14:51,206
Troy says he's going to stay
a couple of more days
260
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,010
and if he's improved further
he'll get a flight here.
261
00:14:54,091 --> 00:14:56,400
Well, just let me know
when you want to get rid of me.
262
00:14:56,491 --> 00:14:59,847
Nothing worse than someone
outstaying their welcome.
263
00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:01,966
(BURPING)
264
00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:03,928
Ooh, ooh.
265
00:15:05,811 --> 00:15:07,563
Ooh, that's better.
266
00:15:08,851 --> 00:15:11,046
Fancy a lolly?
267
00:15:12,331 --> 00:15:13,320
No?
268
00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:34,362
Oh, come on, let's go, she's not here.
269
00:15:34,451 --> 00:15:35,850
Why would she have a stall here?
270
00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:38,320
Why didn't she tell us about
the Benidorm Palace?
271
00:15:38,411 --> 00:15:41,209
Mick, something's happened to her,
I know it has.
272
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:45,079
Hey, come on, don't upset yourself.
You know what your mother's like.
273
00:15:45,171 --> 00:15:48,880
It's my fault, I shouldn't have let her
stay out here on her own after Mel died.
274
00:15:49,211 --> 00:15:51,645
Mum! Dad! Come and look at this!
275
00:15:58,731 --> 00:15:59,846
Oh, my God.
276
00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:02,570
Different number.
-Why would she sell this?
277
00:16:04,851 --> 00:16:07,126
It's ringing.
-Give us it here.
278
00:16:09,691 --> 00:16:12,000
(PHONE RINGING)
279
00:16:29,971 --> 00:16:32,280
(PHONE RINGING)
280
00:16:38,011 --> 00:16:41,048
I've told you, I'll have the money by
the end of the month.
281
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,599
What money? Mother, are you all right?
282
00:16:45,651 --> 00:16:46,640
Who is this?
283
00:16:46,731 --> 00:16:48,881
Who do you think it is? It's Janice.
284
00:16:48,971 --> 00:16:52,327
What's going on? Why didn't you
tell us you had another phone?
285
00:16:52,691 --> 00:16:53,680
Where are you?
286
00:16:54,211 --> 00:16:57,647
Oh, uh, just at the villa, you know...
287
00:16:58,131 --> 00:16:59,723
Day off today.
288
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,722
Palace is very quiet.
289
00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:03,961
Just having a soak in the Jacuzzi.
290
00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:05,848
Mam, we're in Spain.
291
00:17:06,771 --> 00:17:07,840
Whereabouts in Spain?
292
00:17:08,211 --> 00:17:10,486
Where do you think we are?
We're in Benidorm!
293
00:17:11,051 --> 00:17:12,325
You're in Benidorm?
294
00:17:13,091 --> 00:17:14,649
What? Now?
295
00:17:15,011 --> 00:17:18,526
It was meant to be a surprise
but obviously it hasn't worked out.
296
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:21,524
We've been to the villa.
We know you've moved.
297
00:17:21,811 --> 00:17:24,848
We've been to the Benidorm Palace,
we know you've sold it.
298
00:17:24,931 --> 00:17:26,569
Mother, are you all right?
299
00:17:26,651 --> 00:17:28,164
Where are you?
300
00:17:29,971 --> 00:17:32,201
We've hired a car,
just tell us where you are.
301
00:17:32,291 --> 00:17:33,280
No!
302
00:17:33,611 --> 00:17:36,762
No, don't come here.
Go back to the Solana.
303
00:17:36,851 --> 00:17:38,330
I'll see you there in half an hour.
304
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:43,724
What did she say?
305
00:17:43,811 --> 00:17:46,086
She's meeting us at the Solana
in half an hour.
306
00:17:47,451 --> 00:17:49,601
Excuse me, love,
how much is the scooter?
307
00:17:49,691 --> 00:17:51,044
It's not for sale.
308
00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:56,081
So, if me nana is all right,
309
00:17:56,171 --> 00:17:58,002
does that mean you don't get
the insurance money?
310
00:18:03,451 --> 00:18:04,486
It was a joke!
311
00:18:09,291 --> 00:18:10,690
There you go, love.
312
00:18:10,771 --> 00:18:13,239
Right, Mateo, I'll be back in1 0 minutes.
313
00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,927
Where are you going?
We are too busy for one person.
314
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,525
Funny you should say that.
That's where I'm going, to get Les.
315
00:18:18,651 --> 00:18:20,084
Who is Les?
-New barman.
316
00:18:20,691 --> 00:18:25,811
No, you did not give the job to
the little old guy with no hair, please.
317
00:18:25,891 --> 00:18:27,609
We said the best one was the young girl.
318
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:30,285
No, I think you'll find it was you
who said that.
319
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:34,564
I know it seems strange, but I thought
I'd go for a more experienced barman
320
00:18:34,651 --> 00:18:39,088
with references, as opposed to a dizzy,
1 7-year-old girl who can't add up.
321
00:18:39,171 --> 00:18:40,524
Oh, here he is.
322
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:42,567
Why does she need to add up?
The drinks are free!
323
00:18:42,651 --> 00:18:45,768
Morning, Janey. Ah, thanks for letting
us come in a bit early, you know.
324
00:18:45,851 --> 00:18:48,968
I just thought it would be good to
hit the ground running, so to speak.
325
00:18:49,411 --> 00:18:50,560
You must be Potato.
326
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,801
Janey, please, you don't understand.
I can't work with this guy,
327
00:18:54,891 --> 00:18:55,926
it's not good for my image.
328
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:58,241
Not good for your image?
Who do you think you are?
329
00:18:58,331 --> 00:18:59,923
Bono?
-Shall I get started now?
330
00:19:00,011 --> 00:19:03,321
No! Janey, he can work inside, please,
331
00:19:03,411 --> 00:19:05,288
come on, this is my bar.
332
00:19:06,171 --> 00:19:09,243
Hey, did you have any thoughts about
my idea, you know, of waiter service
333
00:19:09,331 --> 00:19:11,799
to people on their sunbeds
during the quieter parts of the day?
334
00:19:11,891 --> 00:19:13,040
What?
335
00:19:13,131 --> 00:19:15,201
We can talk about it later. Here you go.
336
00:19:15,291 --> 00:19:17,122
You've told Potato about
Lesley, haven't you?
337
00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:18,849
My name is Mateo.
338
00:19:19,171 --> 00:19:20,365
Oh, yeah,
339
00:19:21,211 --> 00:19:23,042
Les is a transvestite.
340
00:19:23,131 --> 00:19:25,486
I said he can come to work dressed
as Lesley any time he wants.
341
00:19:25,571 --> 00:19:27,641
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Very funny.
342
00:19:31,491 --> 00:19:33,527
Janey, please tell me this is a joke.
343
00:19:33,611 --> 00:19:36,489
It's no joke.
We're an equal opportunities employer.
344
00:19:36,571 --> 00:19:38,163
How do you think you got the job?
345
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:40,722
Right, sorry to keep you waiting.
What can I get you?
346
00:19:49,811 --> 00:19:52,245
What time is it?
She said she'd be half an hour.
347
00:19:52,331 --> 00:19:54,083
Maybe I should wait in Reception.
348
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:56,480
She'll be here soon, don't panic.
349
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,801
I knew it was a bad idea
her staying on out here.
350
00:19:58,891 --> 00:20:00,529
God knows what's happened to her.
351
00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:02,169
Calm down.
352
00:20:02,251 --> 00:20:05,163
She obviously just decided running the
Benidorm Palace was too much for her.
353
00:20:05,451 --> 00:20:06,770
Which is hardly surprising for someone
354
00:20:06,851 --> 00:20:09,684
whose idea of hard work
is having to light her own fags.
355
00:20:09,771 --> 00:20:12,126
Hello again!
-Hola!
356
00:20:12,251 --> 00:20:14,367
Mmm, have you two come up for air?
357
00:20:14,451 --> 00:20:16,123
Is this sunbed free?
358
00:20:16,251 --> 00:20:18,640
No, no, it's... It's ours.
359
00:20:18,731 --> 00:20:21,450
Oh, you managed to track
Madge down, did you?
360
00:20:21,531 --> 00:20:25,319
Donald thought it was a bit strange
you didn't know she'd moved,
361
00:20:25,411 --> 00:20:27,163
but I said to him,
362
00:20:27,251 --> 00:20:32,484
''When I was 1 2, I went back
to the wrong school by accident.''
363
00:20:32,571 --> 00:20:34,562
You know, after the summer break.
364
00:20:35,051 --> 00:20:38,282
Yeah. I ended up staying there,
actually,
365
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,566
the dinners were much nicer.
366
00:20:42,131 --> 00:20:45,168
Yeah, it's all sorted,
it was just a misunderstanding.
367
00:20:45,251 --> 00:20:48,049
Oh, that's good. We were speaking
to Duck Face Dennis
368
00:20:48,131 --> 00:20:49,883
in the unisex hairdressers.
369
00:20:49,971 --> 00:20:51,768
He said that when Mel died,
370
00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:55,890
Madge was left with a huge amount
of debt, didn't have a penny to her name
371
00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:59,043
and was living on benefits in
a two-berth caravan.
372
00:20:59,131 --> 00:21:03,602
But I told him, that doesn't sound like
the Madge Harvey we know!
373
00:21:04,491 --> 00:21:06,083
(SIGHS NERVOUSLY)
374
00:21:13,811 --> 00:21:14,926
Jan.
375
00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:19,080
(MOUTHING)
376
00:21:25,891 --> 00:21:27,370
Oh, my God!
377
00:21:27,451 --> 00:21:28,679
You said some of these
people here were rough.
378
00:21:28,771 --> 00:21:29,999
I didn't know you
meant ''sleeping rough''.
379
00:21:30,091 --> 00:21:32,366
Oh, my God! It's Madge!
-Who's Madge?
380
00:21:32,851 --> 00:21:34,728
Madge, you all right?
381
00:21:35,451 --> 00:21:37,885
Course I'm all right,
what do you mean by that?
382
00:21:38,011 --> 00:21:39,569
Well, nothing, I just meant...
383
00:21:41,011 --> 00:21:42,330
Where's Mel?
384
00:21:42,411 --> 00:21:44,925
I have to say the sight of him
in his leopardskin thong
385
00:21:45,011 --> 00:21:47,684
is one of the few things that keeps
bringing me back to this place!
386
00:21:49,251 --> 00:21:51,401
He died on Christmas Day.
387
00:21:52,371 --> 00:21:53,850
Oh, my God!
388
00:21:56,251 --> 00:21:58,719
Gavin, your Slim a Soup's getting cold.
389
00:22:00,091 --> 00:22:01,843
Madge, I'm so sorry.
390
00:22:06,611 --> 00:22:08,681
That went well.
You should get a job here,
391
00:22:08,771 --> 00:22:10,682
meet and greet, you'd go down a storm.
392
00:22:10,771 --> 00:22:14,081
Madge! We were just talking about you!
393
00:22:14,171 --> 00:22:16,526
Are you all right? You look terrible.
394
00:22:16,611 --> 00:22:18,363
That's rich coming from you, isn't it?
395
00:22:18,451 --> 00:22:19,645
What do you mean?
396
00:22:19,731 --> 00:22:22,370
Well, look at the pair of you,
you're hardly the ''fit family''.
397
00:22:22,451 --> 00:22:24,919
You look like you're about to explode.
398
00:22:25,011 --> 00:22:29,641
Donald always carries a bit of
excess water in the summer, don't you?
399
00:22:29,731 --> 00:22:30,720
Oh, yes.
400
00:22:30,811 --> 00:22:34,247
Carrying that amount of water.
I'm surprised the pool's not empty.
401
00:22:34,331 --> 00:22:36,083
Get out of me way.
402
00:22:36,171 --> 00:22:38,162
Maybe see you later?
403
00:22:48,651 --> 00:22:49,640
Oh, God, Mick.
404
00:22:50,571 --> 00:22:54,450
Oh, Mam, we've been worried sick
about you. Come here.
405
00:22:54,531 --> 00:22:55,850
What's been going on?
406
00:22:55,931 --> 00:22:58,809
Let me sit down,
I'm buggered after that walk.
407
00:22:58,891 --> 00:23:00,040
Come on.
408
00:23:06,211 --> 00:23:08,202
(WHISTLING)
409
00:23:08,331 --> 00:23:11,528
So it's Matato, not Potato.
410
00:23:12,011 --> 00:23:13,569
Mateo.
411
00:23:13,651 --> 00:23:16,643
Oh, it's a great name. Is it Spanish?
412
00:23:17,971 --> 00:23:19,086
This is my bar.
413
00:23:19,171 --> 00:23:23,323
Listen, I don't wanna be stuck behind
a bar in the shade in weather like this.
414
00:23:23,411 --> 00:23:26,448
And I don't want to tread on
anybody's toes on me first day.
415
00:23:26,531 --> 00:23:27,600
So?
416
00:23:27,691 --> 00:23:29,841
So why don't you stay here
behind the bar.
417
00:23:29,931 --> 00:23:32,684
I'll slip into something a bit more
comfortable and just do what I do best.
418
00:23:33,611 --> 00:23:35,488
You're going to slip into what?
419
00:23:35,571 --> 00:23:36,560
Back in a few minutes.
420
00:23:37,731 --> 00:23:38,720
Okay.
421
00:23:40,811 --> 00:23:42,563
Why do I think I am
going to regret this?
422
00:23:42,651 --> 00:23:46,769
When I got back after Mel's funeral,
I tried to sort out all his affairs but,
423
00:23:46,851 --> 00:23:49,570
well, it was all one big mess.
424
00:23:50,091 --> 00:23:52,161
I thought the Benidorm Palace
was going well.
425
00:23:52,251 --> 00:23:56,642
It was, but Mel had made a few more
investments that turned sour.
426
00:23:56,731 --> 00:23:58,767
I think he'd just got a bit too...
427
00:23:58,891 --> 00:23:59,960
Greedy?
428
00:24:00,051 --> 00:24:01,120
Ambitious.
429
00:24:01,211 --> 00:24:03,406
It was the credit crunch, Mam,
you can't blame yourself.
430
00:24:03,491 --> 00:24:06,688
Property in Dubai lost money overnight.
431
00:24:06,771 --> 00:24:10,286
Helicopter rides over Benidorm
never really got off the ground.
432
00:24:10,531 --> 00:24:12,920
And just when I thought things couldn't
get any worse,
433
00:24:13,011 --> 00:24:15,650
the racehorse Mel bought me
committed suicide.
434
00:24:18,211 --> 00:24:20,406
I got rid of the Benidorm Palace,
435
00:24:20,531 --> 00:24:23,603
then the villa, that was
just rented, thank God.
436
00:24:23,691 --> 00:24:26,285
I didn't lose any money
but I didn't make any either.
437
00:24:26,371 --> 00:24:27,645
Oh, can we talk about this later?
438
00:24:27,731 --> 00:24:30,291
Why didn't you tell us?
We could have helped.
439
00:24:30,491 --> 00:24:31,719
Uh, the solicitor said to me,
440
00:24:31,811 --> 00:24:35,770
''Madge, you've still got the sunbed
shops in the UK.'' But I told him
441
00:24:36,291 --> 00:24:38,168
Mel signed them over to Mick.
442
00:24:38,251 --> 00:24:40,685
I'll dig meself out this mess.
443
00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:43,569
Look, he did, but that was when
you had everything here.
444
00:24:43,651 --> 00:24:45,289
Mick can sign the shops over to you.
445
00:24:48,011 --> 00:24:49,524
Can't you, Mick?
446
00:24:52,171 --> 00:24:53,604
Well...
447
00:24:55,131 --> 00:24:57,645
What would be the point of that?
She lives in Spain now.
448
00:24:57,731 --> 00:25:00,199
I don't want the shops back.
449
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,407
I can't believe I'm hearing this.
450
00:25:02,491 --> 00:25:04,846
She doesn't want the shops back!
451
00:25:04,931 --> 00:25:06,523
Are you checking in?
452
00:25:06,651 --> 00:25:08,687
If you're not, you're going
to have to pay for coffee.
453
00:25:08,771 --> 00:25:09,999
Yeah, we're booking her in.
454
00:25:10,091 --> 00:25:11,922
No, you are not, I'm going home.
455
00:25:12,011 --> 00:25:13,364
Look, just calm down.
456
00:25:13,491 --> 00:25:15,288
Calm down? This is all your fault.
457
00:25:15,371 --> 00:25:16,963
Hang on a minute,
458
00:25:17,051 --> 00:25:19,724
Mel pissed all his money away on
helicopters and suicidal horses
459
00:25:19,811 --> 00:25:21,164
and all of a sudden it's all my fault?
460
00:25:21,251 --> 00:25:22,809
Are you going to pay for that coffee?
461
00:25:22,891 --> 00:25:24,882
Oh, will you just shut up
about the coffee.
462
00:25:24,971 --> 00:25:26,609
Mrs Harvey, how are you going?
463
00:25:26,691 --> 00:25:28,010
Haven't seen you for months.
464
00:25:28,091 --> 00:25:29,968
Bloody hell, you're looking rough.
465
00:25:30,051 --> 00:25:31,564
What can I get you to drink, pet?
466
00:25:31,651 --> 00:25:33,687
Right, that's it, I'm off!
467
00:25:33,771 --> 00:25:34,920
Oh, come on.
468
00:25:35,011 --> 00:25:37,525
Oh, well done, Lesley. Congratulations!
469
00:25:37,611 --> 00:25:39,203
Get your arses up.
-Mam. Mam!
470
00:25:39,291 --> 00:25:41,441
Was it something I said?
-MICK: ...talk about it, all right?
471
00:25:52,091 --> 00:25:53,922
Such a shame about Mel,
472
00:25:54,051 --> 00:25:55,450
dying on Christmas Day.
473
00:25:55,531 --> 00:25:57,647
Oh, it's terrible.
And now she's lost everything?
474
00:25:57,731 --> 00:26:01,644
That's what we heard. Her husband
dies leaving her thousands in debt
475
00:26:01,731 --> 00:26:05,406
while she lives on benefits
in a squalid, two-berth caravan.
476
00:26:06,691 --> 00:26:10,286
In saying all that,
she does have a lovely figure.
477
00:26:10,771 --> 00:26:14,480
So, Kenneth, first time in Benidorm,
how are you finding it?
478
00:26:15,171 --> 00:26:18,129
I think, um, beguiling's the word
that springs to mind.
479
00:26:18,211 --> 00:26:20,441
So, let me get this right,
480
00:26:20,531 --> 00:26:25,321
you work with Gavin and Troy
and you've come on holiday with Gavin
481
00:26:25,411 --> 00:26:28,244
while Troy spends some time
with his dad?
482
00:26:28,331 --> 00:26:29,366
That's right.
483
00:26:29,451 --> 00:26:31,760
But Troy didn't know he had a dad.
484
00:26:31,931 --> 00:26:34,001
He did. He just never really knew him.
485
00:26:34,091 --> 00:26:37,049
Oh, and now he's dying in hospital.
486
00:26:37,571 --> 00:26:39,607
Oh, I don't know,
487
00:26:39,771 --> 00:26:42,808
they're dropping like flies,
aren't they?
488
00:26:42,891 --> 00:26:45,849
How's Troy's son? Um, Jamie?
489
00:26:45,931 --> 00:26:47,603
Yes, Jamie, he's wonderful.
490
00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:52,719
Oh, 'cause you're more or less
his mum now, aren't you?
491
00:26:52,811 --> 00:26:53,960
More or less.
492
00:26:54,051 --> 00:26:58,727
Does that feel strange? Sitting here
thinking you're somebody's mother?
493
00:26:58,851 --> 00:27:00,967
Not really, the one thing Benidorm
isn't short of is
494
00:27:01,051 --> 00:27:04,839
large women with receding hairlines
and five o'clock shadows.
495
00:27:04,971 --> 00:27:06,165
Have you got kids?
496
00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:08,765
Oh, no, we never bothered.
497
00:27:08,851 --> 00:27:11,524
Well, they make so much mess,
don't they?
498
00:27:11,611 --> 00:27:14,250
Very house-proud, my Jacqueline.
499
00:27:14,331 --> 00:27:18,927
Mind you, Donald must have dozens
knocking around somewhere.
500
00:27:19,011 --> 00:27:21,320
Oh, no, more in the hundreds.
501
00:27:21,491 --> 00:27:24,563
Donald was made redundant
in the late '70s
502
00:27:24,651 --> 00:27:29,566
and to make ends meet he started
contributing to a local sperm bank.
503
00:27:29,651 --> 00:27:31,243
But you can't make a living doing that.
504
00:27:31,331 --> 00:27:32,844
Depends how often you go.
505
00:27:32,931 --> 00:27:38,085
At my height I was contributing
20 or 30 times a week.
506
00:27:38,171 --> 00:27:39,160
A week?
507
00:27:39,251 --> 00:27:41,287
What was it they used to call you?
508
00:27:41,371 --> 00:27:43,931
The One-Armed Bandit.
509
00:27:44,011 --> 00:27:46,684
And I always paid out.
510
00:27:54,131 --> 00:27:55,883
Straight on.
511
00:27:59,971 --> 00:28:02,883
Not that bad in here.
512
00:28:02,971 --> 00:28:04,324
Be all right once they've finished it.
513
00:28:04,451 --> 00:28:05,440
Mick.
514
00:28:08,171 --> 00:28:09,490
Now where?
515
00:28:09,811 --> 00:28:10,800
Oh, my God!
516
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:12,919
What's wrong?
517
00:28:13,011 --> 00:28:14,000
Oh, my God!
518
00:28:14,291 --> 00:28:16,009
Mother, what's wrong?
519
00:28:33,371 --> 00:28:35,089
Mother, are you all right?
520
00:28:35,171 --> 00:28:37,401
It's gone. They've taken it.
521
00:28:37,651 --> 00:28:38,800
Madge!
522
00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:40,640
Madge.
523
00:28:40,731 --> 00:28:42,562
I've been trying to ring you
all morning.
524
00:28:42,651 --> 00:28:44,687
Oh, God, it's been mental here.
525
00:28:44,971 --> 00:28:46,802
Oh. You all right?
526
00:28:46,891 --> 00:28:49,530
Madge, I don't want you to panic.
527
00:28:50,371 --> 00:28:51,724
I've got some bad news.
528
00:28:51,811 --> 00:28:53,244
What is it?
529
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:55,447
Madge... I've been trying to ring you.
530
00:28:56,771 --> 00:28:58,204
They've taken your caravan.
531
00:28:58,291 --> 00:29:01,522
I know they've taken me caravan!
Do you think I'm blind?
532
00:29:01,691 --> 00:29:03,409
Oh, right, yeah.
533
00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:05,527
Well, here's all the stuff
they took out of it.
534
00:29:05,931 --> 00:29:08,809
I told Reg, I said Madge is good for
the rent, but he's just gone mental,
535
00:29:08,891 --> 00:29:11,530
anyone more than three months in arrears
and they're impounding the van.
536
00:29:11,611 --> 00:29:13,727
Black Nigel and Fat Pat are in bits.
537
00:29:13,811 --> 00:29:15,927
Well, first they found out their
daughter in Wigan's a lesbian
538
00:29:16,011 --> 00:29:17,364
and now they've got nowhere to live.
539
00:29:17,451 --> 00:29:19,919
Oh, it's all wrong.
540
00:29:20,011 --> 00:29:21,524
Who's impounded the caravans?
541
00:29:21,611 --> 00:29:25,763
Reg the Veg, site manager.
Oh, he's an absolute bastard.
542
00:29:25,891 --> 00:29:27,483
Pardon my French.
543
00:29:27,571 --> 00:29:29,482
Sorry, I'm Lucky Kev.
544
00:29:29,811 --> 00:29:32,200
I've got a double plot on the corner
of Glasgow and Newcastle Street.
545
00:29:32,291 --> 00:29:33,519
You must be Mick and Janice.
546
00:29:33,611 --> 00:29:34,760
Oh, God!
547
00:29:34,851 --> 00:29:36,443
Come on, Mam, don't get upset.
548
00:29:36,531 --> 00:29:38,761
Come on, back to the Solana,
we'll get something to eat
549
00:29:38,851 --> 00:29:41,206
and think all this through.
-Good idea, I'm starving.
550
00:29:41,371 --> 00:29:42,850
Not you, dickhead.
551
00:29:54,811 --> 00:29:57,769
Listen, Madge, that 5 euro you owe me,
552
00:29:57,851 --> 00:29:59,842
don't sweat about it, yeah?
553
00:29:59,931 --> 00:30:00,920
Let's talk about it next week.
554
00:30:01,011 --> 00:30:02,967
I know you've got a lot on
your plate right now.
555
00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:04,040
Piss off.
556
00:30:14,971 --> 00:30:15,960
Hey.
557
00:30:16,051 --> 00:30:17,450
(WHISTLING)
558
00:30:21,131 --> 00:30:25,204
Hey. I need to speak to you.
559
00:30:25,291 --> 00:30:28,203
Make it quick.
Although I heard you always do.
560
00:30:28,971 --> 00:30:32,566
I need you to give a message to Natalie.
561
00:30:32,651 --> 00:30:34,960
Forget it, she told you
when we got here,
562
00:30:35,091 --> 00:30:37,161
what happened in the past,
stays in the past.
563
00:30:37,251 --> 00:30:40,800
She's not interested in going over
very old ground.
564
00:30:40,931 --> 00:30:44,924
Look, I just...
I just want to be friends, okay?
565
00:30:45,131 --> 00:30:47,691
I am not trying to
get back with Natalie.
566
00:30:47,771 --> 00:30:51,047
I have, how do you say, moved on.
567
00:30:51,131 --> 00:30:54,567
Right, well, I need you to move on
just a little bit further,
568
00:30:54,651 --> 00:30:55,766
about a metre to your left,
569
00:30:55,851 --> 00:30:58,411
before I whack you in the knackers
with me boombox.
570
00:30:58,891 --> 00:31:00,370
Gracias.
571
00:31:01,691 --> 00:31:04,000
Hey, you are not going to play
that here, this is not an...
572
00:31:04,131 --> 00:31:05,120
Shove it!
573
00:31:06,091 --> 00:31:07,809
There you go, son.
574
00:31:07,891 --> 00:31:10,166
Oh. Oh, thanks, Dad.
575
00:31:10,771 --> 00:31:11,806
Is that the one you fancy?
576
00:31:11,891 --> 00:31:14,849
No, no, it's her mate I like.
577
00:31:14,971 --> 00:31:16,370
Oh, I was gonna say
578
00:31:16,451 --> 00:31:19,363
she'd eat you for breakfast and
shit you out before lunch, that one.
579
00:31:19,491 --> 00:31:21,049
(LAUGHING)
580
00:31:23,131 --> 00:31:24,803
The other one's amazing.
581
00:31:25,211 --> 00:31:26,530
Her name's Natalie.
582
00:31:26,611 --> 00:31:28,567
You really like her?
-Yeah.
583
00:31:30,211 --> 00:31:31,644
Okay, son, leave this to me.
584
00:31:31,731 --> 00:31:33,687
Oh, Dad, don't do anything embarrassing.
585
00:31:33,811 --> 00:31:36,484
Ah, now come on, son, play the game.
586
00:31:36,571 --> 00:31:38,721
When have I ever done anything to
embarrass you?
587
00:31:49,651 --> 00:31:53,280
Gonzo over there wanted to talk to you.
I told him to shove it.
588
00:31:53,371 --> 00:31:54,724
Who's Gonzo?
589
00:31:54,851 --> 00:31:56,170
Uh, big nose.
590
00:31:56,251 --> 00:31:58,845
(IN MOCK SPANISH ACCENT)
Oh, Natalie, I just want to be friends.
591
00:31:58,931 --> 00:32:00,205
Do you mind taking off your clothes
592
00:32:00,291 --> 00:32:02,009
and lying down while I
give you a friendly...
593
00:32:02,091 --> 00:32:03,729
He hasn't got a big nose.
594
00:32:03,811 --> 00:32:05,802
God, you still fancy him.
595
00:32:05,891 --> 00:32:08,724
No, I don't fancy him,
he just doesn't have a big nose.
596
00:32:08,811 --> 00:32:10,529
Anyway, the way he was leering after you
597
00:32:10,611 --> 00:32:12,408
I don't think I'm the one
who has to worry.
598
00:32:12,491 --> 00:32:15,369
I'd rather shag Benny Hill over there
while his wife watched.
599
00:32:15,451 --> 00:32:18,648
From what I've heard
she wouldn't just wanna watch.
600
00:32:29,051 --> 00:32:32,123
Two delicious cocktails
for two delicious young ladies.
601
00:32:32,211 --> 00:32:34,122
Oh, we didn't order any cocktails.
602
00:32:34,211 --> 00:32:35,405
No, you didn't,
603
00:32:35,491 --> 00:32:38,927
but that lovely young man over there
sent these over with his compliments.
604
00:32:41,691 --> 00:32:44,524
Anything else you need,
you just let me know.
605
00:32:45,371 --> 00:32:47,646
Ah, that was nice.
606
00:32:47,731 --> 00:32:52,202
Yeah, sending over free drinks
in an all-inclusive resort.
607
00:32:52,291 --> 00:32:53,280
Generous.
608
00:32:53,371 --> 00:32:55,282
Oh, I wonder what
he'll spoil us with next.
609
00:32:55,371 --> 00:32:58,169
Toilet paper in our room?
Unlimited use of the pool?
610
00:33:00,851 --> 00:33:03,319
(RUDE BOYPLAYING)
611
00:33:10,531 --> 00:33:14,524
Hey. Hey, hey, I told you about this.
612
00:33:14,811 --> 00:33:17,371
Yeah, and I thought I told you
what to do and all, didn't I?
613
00:33:17,451 --> 00:33:19,442
Just turn it off, Sam.
-No, I won't.
614
00:33:19,531 --> 00:33:22,568
Oh, what's wrong? Are you worried
some of the pensioners wake up
615
00:33:22,651 --> 00:33:25,768
and spoil the open air mortuary look
you've been cultivating?
616
00:33:25,851 --> 00:33:30,845
You put your greasy digit on that
machine and you, my friend, will die.
617
00:33:32,731 --> 00:33:35,529
Um, she means your finger.
618
00:33:36,571 --> 00:33:38,368
It's against the rules.
619
00:33:49,251 --> 00:33:50,025
Is that Rihanna?
-Yeah.
620
00:33:50,026 --> 00:33:52,540
I like her. Can you turn it up a bit
so I can hear it over there.
621
00:33:52,626 --> 00:33:54,184
Yeah, course I can.
622
00:33:57,146 --> 00:33:59,535
Where did your mum and dad go?
623
00:33:59,626 --> 00:34:01,298
Do you want to sit with us
till they get back?
624
00:34:01,386 --> 00:34:04,583
They said they was going to be
20 minutes, but that was ages ago.
625
00:34:04,906 --> 00:34:07,022
Pull up a chair.
-All right, thanks.
626
00:34:07,106 --> 00:34:08,937
What's your name?
-Michael.
627
00:34:09,026 --> 00:34:11,665
I'm Sam, this is Natalie.
-Hiya.
628
00:34:11,906 --> 00:34:13,305
Can you dance, Michael?
629
00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:16,458
Not really. Well, a bit of street stuff.
630
00:34:16,546 --> 00:34:17,865
Seriously?
631
00:34:18,346 --> 00:34:20,018
Do you want to throw some moves?
632
00:34:20,786 --> 00:34:21,775
No.
633
00:34:21,866 --> 00:34:24,664
Oh, come on, let's liven this dump up.
634
00:34:24,866 --> 00:34:26,982
(MORE PUNANNYPLAYING)
635
00:34:29,186 --> 00:34:31,984
Are you sure you don't
wanna dance, Michael?
636
00:34:32,066 --> 00:34:34,341
No, I'm all right, thanks.
637
00:34:37,186 --> 00:34:40,303
Sam, I think you're making
Michael feel uncomfortable.
638
00:34:40,386 --> 00:34:41,614
No, I'm okay.
639
00:34:41,706 --> 00:34:45,699
Right then, you... You're making me
feel uncomfortable.
640
00:34:49,266 --> 00:34:51,780
Er, excuse me, what's going on?
641
00:34:51,866 --> 00:34:55,176
Er, I'm enjoying myself,
it's called being on holiday.
642
00:34:55,266 --> 00:34:56,779
Whose CD player's that?
643
00:34:56,866 --> 00:34:58,424
Really?
-Ow!
644
00:34:58,506 --> 00:35:01,623
Well, unfortunately, when your holiday
involves giving my 1 1 -year-old son
645
00:35:01,706 --> 00:35:03,981
a lap dance, it's time to
stop enjoying yourself.
646
00:35:04,066 --> 00:35:05,784
Get off, you're hurting me!
647
00:35:06,186 --> 00:35:07,175
(SCREAMS)
648
00:35:08,746 --> 00:35:11,738
I hope you drown, you dirty slag!
649
00:35:11,946 --> 00:35:16,701
And you, turn that music off now
or else that goes in as well.
650
00:35:20,306 --> 00:35:22,262
Right, shall we sit down?
651
00:35:23,306 --> 00:35:24,739
Excuse me.
-Yeah?
652
00:35:24,866 --> 00:35:26,458
You don't want a job here, do you?
653
00:35:26,546 --> 00:35:27,979
Come on, you, move it.
654
00:35:28,466 --> 00:35:29,535
Get there!
655
00:35:39,746 --> 00:35:42,704
Well, there's certainly never
a dull moment here.
656
00:35:42,786 --> 00:35:45,584
I wouldn't mind doing
a bit of lap dancing.
657
00:35:45,666 --> 00:35:47,861
Well, we definitely could do
with the money.
658
00:35:47,946 --> 00:35:51,541
Two holidays in the last six months has
left us pretty broke.
659
00:35:51,706 --> 00:35:56,257
Apparently you need a strong back,
that's the key to it.
660
00:35:56,346 --> 00:35:59,338
Well, you pass in that department
with flying colours.
661
00:35:59,426 --> 00:36:02,543
You've certainly had a lot of weight
on your back in your time.
662
00:36:02,626 --> 00:36:04,105
That's true.
663
00:36:04,746 --> 00:36:10,218
Eighteen down, American slang
for courage or determination.
664
00:36:10,666 --> 00:36:14,784
Five letters, ends in U-N-K.
665
00:36:15,666 --> 00:36:16,815
Spunk.
666
00:36:17,586 --> 00:36:19,178
Really?
-Oh, yes.
667
00:36:19,466 --> 00:36:21,343
Spunk?
-Yep.
668
00:36:22,506 --> 00:36:28,695
Oh, isn't it terrible, I mean, kiddies
could be reading this or anybody.
669
00:36:33,306 --> 00:36:35,581
Right, first of all, how much do you owe
on the ground rent?
670
00:36:35,666 --> 00:36:37,975
I don't want my caravan back,
it's worth nothing.
671
00:36:38,186 --> 00:36:39,858
What about all the stuff inside it?
672
00:36:39,986 --> 00:36:41,180
There's just clothes in them bags.
673
00:36:41,266 --> 00:36:42,494
What about all your possessions?
674
00:36:42,586 --> 00:36:46,625
Possessions? What possessions?
I've got nothing.
675
00:36:46,706 --> 00:36:48,264
Do you hear me? Nothing!
676
00:36:48,346 --> 00:36:50,655
All right, all right, calm down.
677
00:36:50,826 --> 00:36:53,818
Oh, you're loving this, aren't you?
Just look at his face.
678
00:36:53,906 --> 00:36:55,578
What are you talking about?
I'm trying to help you!
679
00:36:55,666 --> 00:36:57,941
Yeah, well, it's too little, too late.
680
00:36:58,106 --> 00:36:59,824
Nana, what's happened?
681
00:36:59,906 --> 00:37:03,342
I'll tell you what's happened,
that father of yours has bled me dry.
682
00:37:03,426 --> 00:37:04,575
Whoa, hang on a minute!
683
00:37:04,666 --> 00:37:06,941
She doesn't mean it, she's in shock.
684
00:37:07,026 --> 00:37:08,778
Mick's trying to help you, Mam.
685
00:37:08,866 --> 00:37:10,982
I just need a couple of days to get
me thoughts together,
686
00:37:11,066 --> 00:37:12,897
work out what to do next.
687
00:37:13,906 --> 00:37:16,374
I've buried two husbands,
raised seven kids.
688
00:37:16,466 --> 00:37:18,058
I don't need anyone's help.
689
00:37:18,146 --> 00:37:20,137
Right, I'm gonna sort this out.
690
00:37:20,226 --> 00:37:21,215
Where are you going?
691
00:37:21,346 --> 00:37:24,383
I'm off back up to the caravan park and
I'm gonna have a word with this fella.
692
00:37:24,466 --> 00:37:26,104
Oh, he's a nasty piece of work.
693
00:37:26,346 --> 00:37:28,576
Yeah? Well, he hasn't met me.
694
00:37:28,666 --> 00:37:31,703
Fellow in the caravan up from me
wouldn't take his satellite dish down
695
00:37:31,786 --> 00:37:33,344
so he broke his legs.
696
00:37:35,546 --> 00:37:36,865
See you when you get back.
697
00:37:41,306 --> 00:37:42,898
Well, are you going or not?
698
00:37:44,026 --> 00:37:46,017
Tell you what,
why don't we leave it until tomorrow
699
00:37:46,106 --> 00:37:47,459
give him chance to cool down a bit.
700
00:37:47,546 --> 00:37:49,935
He'll be annoyed about the money
I borrowed off him an' all.
701
00:37:50,066 --> 00:37:51,465
How much money?
702
00:37:51,546 --> 00:37:52,865
Never you mind how much.
703
00:37:52,946 --> 00:37:55,016
I've told you,
I can sort this out on me own.
704
00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:57,779
The last thing I need is
you poking your nose in.
705
00:37:57,866 --> 00:37:59,379
Madge! Madge!
706
00:37:59,466 --> 00:38:01,024
What the bloody hell does he want?
707
00:38:01,106 --> 00:38:02,459
Oh, Madge, thank God I've found you...
708
00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:03,865
I take it Reg hasn't been here?
709
00:38:03,946 --> 00:38:04,981
What's it got to do with you?
710
00:38:05,066 --> 00:38:08,342
Well, I saw him earlier on
and he were going absolutely mental.
711
00:38:08,466 --> 00:38:09,660
What do you want?
712
00:38:09,746 --> 00:38:14,262
This is an exclusive resort, now
piss off before I get you thrown out.
713
00:38:14,346 --> 00:38:16,541
No, listen, Madge,
under no circumstances
714
00:38:16,626 --> 00:38:17,820
come back to the park, yeah?
715
00:38:18,786 --> 00:38:20,344
I spoke to Reg this morning and well,
716
00:38:20,946 --> 00:38:23,335
I had no idea you'd
borrowed two grand off him.
717
00:38:23,426 --> 00:38:24,939
Not that it's got anything
to do with me, but,
718
00:38:25,026 --> 00:38:27,176
two grand plus the money you
owed him in ground rent...
719
00:38:27,866 --> 00:38:29,697
(WHISTLING) Ay caramba.
720
00:38:29,866 --> 00:38:31,584
He asked me where you were
but I said no,
721
00:38:31,866 --> 00:38:35,176
no, no way. I'm not grassing Madge up,
not a chance.
722
00:38:35,266 --> 00:38:37,780
Yeah, well, very good,
you've done your bit, now off you pop.
723
00:38:37,866 --> 00:38:39,822
I mean he even offered me money,
you know,
724
00:38:39,906 --> 00:38:41,976
to tell him where you are but I said no.
725
00:38:42,866 --> 00:38:44,584
20 euros, but I said no.
726
00:38:44,706 --> 00:38:46,776
No siree, Bob. No way, no how.
727
00:38:46,866 --> 00:38:48,458
My loyalty cannot be bought.
728
00:38:48,586 --> 00:38:50,178
Oh, thanks, love.
729
00:38:50,546 --> 00:38:52,582
I mean, technically I'm out
of pocket now, you know,
730
00:38:52,826 --> 00:38:54,703
20 euros, but erm...
731
00:38:54,786 --> 00:38:56,504
You're not asking us
for 20 euros, are you?
732
00:38:56,586 --> 00:38:58,417
Oh, my God, no, no, no!
733
00:38:58,666 --> 00:38:59,655
Good.
734
00:38:59,986 --> 00:39:01,499
I mean, it would have been easy money,
735
00:39:01,586 --> 00:39:02,905
you know, very easy money, if I'd...
736
00:39:02,986 --> 00:39:05,022
If I had told him where you are,
but I didn't.
737
00:39:05,106 --> 00:39:06,175
Cheers.
738
00:39:06,266 --> 00:39:07,665
Reg isn't in Benidorm this afternoon,
739
00:39:07,746 --> 00:39:09,816
he's on an anger management
course in Alicante.
740
00:39:09,906 --> 00:39:13,581
But look, I will do my very best to make
sure he doesn't know where you are.
741
00:39:13,666 --> 00:39:15,384
Here, 20 euros. Now piss off.
742
00:39:15,466 --> 00:39:16,455
I don't want your money!
743
00:39:16,546 --> 00:39:18,696
All right.
-But if you're gonna insist...
744
00:39:20,106 --> 00:39:21,778
Thank you very much.
745
00:39:23,186 --> 00:39:24,175
Right, then I'll be off.
746
00:39:24,266 --> 00:39:26,939
But rest assured as long as
there is breath in my body
747
00:39:27,306 --> 00:39:29,900
Reg and his boys have got no chance
of finding you here.
748
00:39:31,986 --> 00:39:33,385
Oh, shit, they've found you.
749
00:39:33,466 --> 00:39:34,615
What? Who's found us?
750
00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:36,776
I thought you said Reg was in Alicante?
-He is.
751
00:39:36,866 --> 00:39:39,585
But this isn't Reg the Veg.
It's much worse than that.
752
00:39:39,666 --> 00:39:41,941
It's his wife, Scary Mary.
753
00:39:50,026 --> 00:39:54,383
Well, well, well, the mole
has come out of her hole.
754
00:39:57,066 --> 00:39:58,624
Come on, boys.
755
00:40:01,826 --> 00:40:04,056
All right, Janice, get your mother
and Michael inside.
756
00:40:04,146 --> 00:40:07,536
She's a black belt in fu yung.
No, not fu yung, what's it called?
757
00:40:07,626 --> 00:40:09,582
Kung fu. Or is it karate?
758
00:40:09,666 --> 00:40:11,736
What's the one where they
do wax on, wax off?
759
00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:14,260
Oh, Jesus, I'm with youse.
-Uh, stay here, you!
760
00:40:14,346 --> 00:40:15,859
Come on, Mam, let's go.
761
00:40:15,946 --> 00:40:18,380
I'm going nowhere.
762
00:40:18,466 --> 00:40:21,378
So this is where you're hiding.
763
00:40:21,466 --> 00:40:23,422
I'm not hiding anywhere.
764
00:40:23,506 --> 00:40:25,895
Can we help you?
I'm assuming you've got a problem,
765
00:40:25,986 --> 00:40:28,500
or does your face always look like that?
766
00:40:28,946 --> 00:40:31,301
I've come to get something
which is well overdue.
767
00:40:31,386 --> 00:40:34,105
I'm sorry, love, we don't do Botox here.
768
00:40:34,186 --> 00:40:37,019
(SNIGGERING) You, lady, owe me money.
769
00:40:37,106 --> 00:40:40,701
No. Correction.
I owe your husband money.
770
00:40:40,786 --> 00:40:42,777
Well, in my book that amounts
to the same thing.
771
00:40:42,866 --> 00:40:45,505
You're not wrong there,
you certainly look like him.
772
00:40:46,026 --> 00:40:47,141
What's going on?
773
00:40:47,226 --> 00:40:49,501
Oh, go away and wipe some tables,
will you, love?
774
00:40:49,586 --> 00:40:53,340
Wipes some tables? I'll wipe your
bleeding face with the back of me hand.
775
00:40:53,426 --> 00:40:54,495
Hey.
776
00:40:56,906 --> 00:40:57,895
Right.
777
00:40:58,266 --> 00:41:00,700
Listen, love. It's Mary, isn't it?
778
00:41:00,786 --> 00:41:01,935
And you are?
779
00:41:02,026 --> 00:41:03,937
I'm Madge's son-in-law.
780
00:41:04,026 --> 00:41:06,142
Listen, love, can we go
somewhere else and talk?
781
00:41:06,226 --> 00:41:08,740
Lucky Kev here told me
all about your little plan.
782
00:41:09,186 --> 00:41:10,460
Now, hang on a minute.
783
00:41:10,546 --> 00:41:13,014
A few quiet days by the pool, eh, Madge?
784
00:41:13,106 --> 00:41:15,381
Before your family whisk
you back to the UK,
785
00:41:15,466 --> 00:41:17,297
leaving all your debts in sunny Spain?
786
00:41:17,386 --> 00:41:19,024
Now, that's not completely true.
787
00:41:19,106 --> 00:41:20,141
I didn't say ''whisk''.
788
00:41:20,226 --> 00:41:22,137
You snivelling little squealer.
789
00:41:22,226 --> 00:41:23,625
It's nothing to do with me!
790
00:41:23,706 --> 00:41:24,741
Look, we'll get your money.
791
00:41:24,826 --> 00:41:25,861
I've heard it all before.
792
00:41:25,946 --> 00:41:26,981
We'll pay you by the end of the week.
793
00:41:27,066 --> 00:41:30,536
This isn't about money any more.
This is about reputations.
794
00:41:30,626 --> 00:41:34,062
Oh, yeah. And I've heard
all about yours.
795
00:41:34,146 --> 00:41:35,261
What's that supposed to mean?
796
00:41:35,346 --> 00:41:37,780
Scary Mary the Benidorm Bike.
797
00:41:37,866 --> 00:41:41,495
I've heard you've given more rides than
a donkey on Blackpool Pleasure Beach,
798
00:41:41,586 --> 00:41:43,656
only you don't charge quite as much.
799
00:41:43,746 --> 00:41:45,225
(LAUGHING)
800
00:41:46,746 --> 00:41:48,020
Listen, lady,
801
00:41:48,586 --> 00:41:50,781
just because you're old
and in a wheelchair,
802
00:41:50,866 --> 00:41:54,415
don't think that'll stop me from
giving you a bloody good pasting.
803
00:41:54,506 --> 00:41:56,417
I'll have you know
I'm a black belt in karate.
804
00:41:56,906 --> 00:41:58,703
Oh yes, third Dan.
805
00:41:58,786 --> 00:42:01,778
Third Dan?
You look more like Desperate Dan.
806
00:42:01,866 --> 00:42:04,539
She's not joking, Madge, I've seen her
do all the spinning around stuff,
807
00:42:04,626 --> 00:42:06,617
she can run up trees.
808
00:42:06,706 --> 00:42:09,504
Oh, bollocks, she couldn't
run up a phone bill.
809
00:42:09,586 --> 00:42:13,784
Right, I've tried to be polite,
now you, sling your hook.
810
00:42:13,866 --> 00:42:17,097
Or what?
You'll set Renée and Renato onto us?
811
00:42:17,186 --> 00:42:19,302
Ah! Don't make me laugh!
812
00:42:19,386 --> 00:42:21,616
Listen, darling, you've been told to go.
813
00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:23,822
So do yourself and
the Chuckle Brothers a favour
814
00:42:23,906 --> 00:42:26,659
and leave now before somebody gets hurt.
815
00:42:27,986 --> 00:42:30,784
Piss off back to your
Pink Windmill, Grotbags,
816
00:42:30,866 --> 00:42:33,903
and make sure you
don't ladder your tights. (LAUGHS)
817
00:42:37,426 --> 00:42:40,463
Right. (KARATE YELL)
818
00:42:40,546 --> 00:42:43,060
(BOTH YELLING)
819
00:42:43,146 --> 00:42:45,421
Ooh, Mother, what do you
think you're doing? You're 71 .
820
00:42:45,506 --> 00:42:46,700
Mick, do something.
821
00:42:46,786 --> 00:42:48,504
What do you want me to do?
-I don't know, stop them.
822
00:42:49,226 --> 00:42:50,579
If you think I'm getting
in between your mother
823
00:42:50,666 --> 00:42:53,021
and Mad Mary, you've got to be joking.
824
00:42:53,106 --> 00:42:54,903
Scary Mary.
-Oh, shut up.
825
00:42:57,186 --> 00:42:58,175
What's this?
826
00:42:58,266 --> 00:43:00,336
I don't know, it came off your head.
827
00:43:02,946 --> 00:43:04,618
Right, that's it.
828
00:43:05,506 --> 00:43:07,895
Come on!
829
00:43:08,746 --> 00:43:11,021
(ALL YELLING)
830
00:43:23,146 --> 00:43:26,422
(SCREAMING)
831
00:43:27,346 --> 00:43:30,099
No, don't! No, no, no, no!
832
00:43:33,506 --> 00:43:36,816
Get off, you bloody weirdo,
I can't breathe.
833
00:43:36,906 --> 00:43:38,544
Oi, you, come here!
834
00:43:40,066 --> 00:43:42,216
Why don't you come here?
835
00:43:42,866 --> 00:43:43,855
(YELLING)
836
00:43:55,106 --> 00:43:57,336
Right. That does it.
837
00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:00,179
You, lady, are history.
838
00:44:00,426 --> 00:44:02,496
(SCREAMING)
839
00:44:08,506 --> 00:44:12,260
Nobody, nobody, threatens my mother.
840
00:44:14,546 --> 00:44:16,184
Fucking hell, that hurt!
841
00:44:16,426 --> 00:44:20,305
I can't swim! I can't swim!
842
00:44:20,386 --> 00:44:24,061
Get that big ugly
hairy git out of my pool.
843
00:44:26,466 --> 00:44:28,855
Not him! That one!
844
00:44:30,546 --> 00:44:31,774
(GRUNTING)
845
00:44:34,066 --> 00:44:36,375
And what the frig am I
supposed to do with her?
846
00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:39,697
You can stuff her and
stick her on the bar, for all I care.
847
00:44:43,826 --> 00:44:45,976
Are you all right, Janice?
-Yeah, I'm all right.
848
00:44:46,066 --> 00:44:47,260
Where's our Michael?
849
00:44:47,346 --> 00:44:49,337
He's here, he's here, don't worry.
850
00:44:49,426 --> 00:44:51,257
Come on, let's get you sat down.
851
00:44:51,506 --> 00:44:52,780
Are you all right, Mam?
852
00:44:52,866 --> 00:44:55,380
You were brilliant! She's out cold.
853
00:44:55,746 --> 00:44:59,455
I'm sorry, Janice, this should have
been my problem, not yours.
854
00:44:59,546 --> 00:45:00,661
We're a family, Mam.
855
00:45:00,746 --> 00:45:03,783
If you've got a problem,
we've all got a problem.
856
00:45:03,906 --> 00:45:05,624
Now come on, let's have a look at you.
857
00:45:05,986 --> 00:45:08,819
Bloody hell, that were a close one,
wasn't it?
858
00:45:09,146 --> 00:45:13,298
Actually, good job I was here
'cause that could have got out of hand.
859
00:45:15,786 --> 00:45:17,777
Right, I'll probably just get off.
860
00:45:18,786 --> 00:45:19,901
I expect you've got a lot of stuff
861
00:45:19,986 --> 00:45:22,784
you need to talk about.
You know, family stuff.
862
00:45:26,546 --> 00:45:29,538
Don't suppose I could get a lift back
to the caravan park, could I?
863
00:45:30,466 --> 00:45:33,378
Come here! Come here, you!
864
00:45:34,226 --> 00:45:35,898
Stop him! Stop him!
865
00:45:35,986 --> 00:45:38,375
Hang on, Madge...
-Stop him!
866
00:45:38,506 --> 00:45:42,738
I'll string him up by his balls!
867
00:45:42,788 --> 00:45:47,338
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