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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,125 --> 00:01:04,083 Uh huh huh huh... 2 00:01:10,792 --> 00:01:14,583 This is cool. Uh huh huh... 3 00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,750 Ow. Cut it out, butt-hole. 4 00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,000 Whoa! 5 00:01:26,167 --> 00:01:27,208 Aah! 6 00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:29,417 Uh huh huh huh... 7 00:01:31,583 --> 00:01:34,458 Uh, hey, baby. Uh huh. 8 00:01:34,500 --> 00:01:37,333 I'm, like, pretty tall. Uh huh huh... 9 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:40,500 Damn it, cut it out. I'm trying to score. 10 00:01:42,958 --> 00:01:44,833 Nah! Yah! 11 00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:53,333 Look at you, you bung-holes. 12 00:01:53,375 --> 00:01:54,833 Uh huh... 13 00:01:54,917 --> 00:01:57,750 Hey, baby, how's it goin'? 14 00:01:57,792 --> 00:02:01,083 - Hey! - No way, Beavis. I saw her first. 15 00:02:01,125 --> 00:02:03,417 Damn it. I'm gonna kick your ass. 16 00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:06,792 Damn it, Beavis. I saw her first. Get outta here. 17 00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:09,208 Hey, Butt-head. 18 00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:13,958 Butt-head! Wake up! 19 00:02:16,042 --> 00:02:18,250 Uh... uh... Damn it, Beavis, 20 00:02:18,292 --> 00:02:20,458 I was about to score. 21 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:22,708 But check it out. It's gone. 22 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,792 - Mm mm mm... - Uh... What? 23 00:02:25,833 --> 00:02:30,667 - The TV! Mm mm mm... - Uh... Oh, yeah. 24 00:02:30,792 --> 00:02:34,083 Uh huh huh... Well, where is it? 25 00:02:34,125 --> 00:02:38,083 I don't know. I just woke up and it was gone. 26 00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:42,167 And look, the window's broken. 27 00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:46,458 We'll get 100 bucks for this. Heh heh heh. 28 00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,625 - No... - Hmm. Uh huh huh huh... 29 00:02:50,667 --> 00:02:52,500 - Uhh... - Oh, no... 30 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,458 - Ohh... - Uhh... 31 00:02:56,583 --> 00:02:58,792 Uh huh huh huh... 32 00:02:58,833 --> 00:03:01,167 - Ohh... - Uhh... 33 00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:04,542 Uh huh huh... Uhh... 34 00:03:06,208 --> 00:03:09,083 I think I just figured something out, Beavis. 35 00:03:09,125 --> 00:03:11,875 W-w-what? Mm mm, heh... 36 00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:14,042 This sucks. Uh huh huh... 37 00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:17,792 Yeah, it really sucks. Heh heh heh... 38 00:03:17,833 --> 00:03:21,333 This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. 39 00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:24,708 We must find this butt-hole that took our TV. 40 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:25,917 Yeah. Yeah! 41 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:50,958 A couple of mean guys with fire in their eyes 42 00:03:51,042 --> 00:03:52,292 # Known by the names of 43 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,042 Beavis and Butt-head! 44 00:03:55,083 --> 00:03:56,583 Yeah 45 00:03:59,125 --> 00:04:02,958 # They'll chew you up and spit you out, beyond a doubt 46 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,250 # It pays not to mess with 47 00:04:04,292 --> 00:04:06,250 Beavis and Butt-head! 48 00:04:06,708 --> 00:04:08,750 You got it 49 00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:19,333 # If you cross Beavis and Butt-head 50 00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:22,833 # They will throw down and blow your ass away 51 00:04:24,583 --> 00:04:26,417 # Y'know what I'm sayin'? 52 00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,292 # Beavis and Butt-head! 53 00:04:36,958 --> 00:04:39,083 # Beavis and Butt-head 54 00:04:39,333 --> 00:04:40,958 Huh huh huh... 55 00:04:48,167 --> 00:04:51,125 # Ahh, yes 56 00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:13,417 It's not in here. 57 00:05:14,500 --> 00:05:16,875 What are we gonna do, Butt-head? 58 00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:21,375 - What if we never find it? - Settle down, Beavis. 59 00:05:24,667 --> 00:05:30,458 Wait a minute. I don't wanna go to school. We gotta find our TV. 60 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:35,500 Shut up, Beavis. I got an idea. Uh huh huh huh... 61 00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:39,208 Let's just wheel this thing back to the house. 62 00:05:39,250 --> 00:05:40,792 Uh huh... yeah. 63 00:05:45,292 --> 00:05:49,167 Uh, hey, excuse me, boys. What's going on here? 64 00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:51,625 Someone stole our TV. 65 00:05:51,667 --> 00:05:54,958 We're just gonna use this one. Get outta the way. 66 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:59,792 I'm afraid that TV belongs to the school, mm-kay? 67 00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:03,833 This could be a really positive experience for you guys. 68 00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,542 There's a wonderful and exciting world out there 69 00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:10,167 when we discover that we don't need TV to entertain us. 70 00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:14,500 He said anus. Uh huh huh huh... 71 00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:17,667 Entertain us... anus. Oh, yeah. 72 00:06:17,708 --> 00:06:21,292 Have you guys heard a word I've said? 73 00:06:21,333 --> 00:06:24,333 Uh, yeah. Anus. 74 00:06:24,375 --> 00:06:27,458 Yeah, yeah. Heh heh... Yeah, I heard it, too. 75 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:32,667 Look, guys, just take the TV back to the A/V room right now. 76 00:06:32,708 --> 00:06:37,458 And try to be a little more open to life experiences, mm-kay? 77 00:06:39,125 --> 00:06:40,708 What a dork. 78 00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:44,583 Get it over here... 79 00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:48,333 Ow. No! 80 00:06:51,333 --> 00:06:53,292 - Aah! - That was cool. 81 00:06:53,333 --> 00:06:56,792 - No, it wasn't. - Uh... oh, yeah. 82 00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,167 Uh, what's going on out here? 83 00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,083 Oh, no! 84 00:07:03,125 --> 00:07:05,083 Uh, that belongs to the school. 85 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,792 It's supposed to be in the A/V room. 86 00:07:07,875 --> 00:07:10,458 - Wasn't our fault. - Get back here! 87 00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:13,292 Beavis and Butt-head, you're both expelled! 88 00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:15,375 Cool. 89 00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:23,583 Whoa, check it out, Beavis. I didn't know Anderson had a camper. 90 00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,708 Yeah. Maybe it has a TV. 91 00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:32,875 Oh, hello. Are you boys here to look at the refrigerator? 92 00:07:32,917 --> 00:07:34,542 Uhh, no. 93 00:07:35,417 --> 00:07:37,708 We're here to look at the TV. 94 00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,542 Tom didn't tell me it was broken. Go on in. 95 00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:44,250 - Cool. - Heh heh heh. 96 00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:48,042 Well, that ought to hold her. 97 00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:52,042 You know, the most important thing you can have on a camper 98 00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:54,125 is a good butane regulator, 99 00:07:54,167 --> 00:07:56,875 and this here's the best one they make. 100 00:07:56,917 --> 00:07:59,292 I hope we can fix that fridge. 101 00:07:59,333 --> 00:08:03,208 Marcy, we've been plannin' for this trip our whole lives... 102 00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:06,375 - And we're gonna go... - Da-da-da... 103 00:08:06,458 --> 00:08:08,500 What in the hell is that? 104 00:08:08,542 --> 00:08:11,333 Dah... dah... da-da-dah 105 00:08:11,375 --> 00:08:15,083 Ah, must be them damn buzzard hawks. 106 00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:17,542 Let's get something to drink. 107 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,208 Ahh. 108 00:08:24,333 --> 00:08:27,042 Aah! This crap is warm. 109 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:29,375 Beavis, you butt-hole, you broke it. 110 00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:32,750 Aah, no, no, damn it! 111 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,833 Hey, what the hell's goin' on here? 112 00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:41,167 - They're here to fix the TV. - What? The TV ain't broken. 113 00:08:41,208 --> 00:08:42,833 Uh... yeah, it is. 114 00:08:42,875 --> 00:08:45,250 Yeah. Heh... heh heh... 115 00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:46,750 Hey, wait a minute. 116 00:08:46,792 --> 00:08:49,625 You two look kind of familiar. 117 00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:53,917 Ain't you them kids that have been whackin' off in my tool shed? 118 00:08:53,958 --> 00:08:55,000 Uh huh huh... 119 00:09:00,583 --> 00:09:03,250 We still don't have a TV, Butt-head. 120 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:04,667 I know, Beavis. 121 00:09:04,708 --> 00:09:07,667 And damn it, I can't sleep without a TV. 122 00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,208 Dumb-ass. 123 00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:13,292 H-help. Help me. 124 00:09:15,792 --> 00:09:17,417 No... no... 125 00:09:17,458 --> 00:09:19,167 What's your problem, Beavis? 126 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:22,333 Uhh... I need TV. 127 00:09:22,375 --> 00:09:25,250 I need TV now! Damn it! 128 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:29,625 Whoa. TV. 129 00:09:29,667 --> 00:09:33,083 Yeah, yeah. TV. Heh heh. 130 00:09:33,125 --> 00:09:35,458 TV! Yeah. 131 00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:37,542 Unh... unh... damn it. 132 00:09:37,583 --> 00:09:39,333 Uhh... no. 133 00:09:40,792 --> 00:09:41,917 Damn it! 134 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:53,500 You sure these guys can pull this off, Earl? 135 00:09:53,542 --> 00:09:56,125 It's gotta look like an accident. 136 00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:01,667 Ohh! Oh, yeah. 137 00:10:01,708 --> 00:10:02,958 Ohh... 138 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,500 Uh huh huh... 139 00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,042 Ohh... 140 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:09,875 Beavis and Butt-head, y-you little bastards! 141 00:10:09,958 --> 00:10:11,583 Can we watch your TV? 142 00:10:12,208 --> 00:10:16,333 No! Y-you're expelled. Now, get outta here! 143 00:10:17,625 --> 00:10:21,000 Wait a minute. Damn it! I need a TV now. 144 00:10:21,042 --> 00:10:22,750 We're missing everything. 145 00:10:23,833 --> 00:10:27,083 Yeah, hold on a minute. That must be them now. 146 00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:30,000 Yeah, I'll call you back. Come in! 147 00:10:30,042 --> 00:10:31,958 Ahh... 148 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,083 TV. Yeah. 149 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:35,917 You're late. 150 00:10:35,958 --> 00:10:39,125 Really? Did we miss Baywatch? 151 00:10:44,292 --> 00:10:47,458 Earl said you guys were young, but, jeez... 152 00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:52,333 As long as you can get the job done. What are your names? 153 00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:55,500 Uh, Butt-head. Uh huh... 154 00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:58,875 Oh, I mean, Beavis. Heh heh heh... 155 00:10:58,917 --> 00:11:03,083 That's OK. I'd rather not know your names, anyway. Mine's Muddy. 156 00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,458 I'm gonna get right to the point. 157 00:11:05,500 --> 00:11:09,583 I'll pay you ten grand plus expenses, payable after you do her. 158 00:11:09,625 --> 00:11:12,375 Uhh... do her? 159 00:11:12,458 --> 00:11:13,833 That's right - do her. 160 00:11:13,875 --> 00:11:17,250 I'm offering you $10,000 plus expenses to do my wife. 161 00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:18,583 We got a deal? 162 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:21,333 Um, actually, we just want to watch TV. 163 00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:23,083 Shut up, Beavis. 164 00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:26,083 Uhh... yeah, we'll do your wife. 165 00:11:26,125 --> 00:11:28,667 N-no! I wanna watch TV. 166 00:11:28,750 --> 00:11:30,167 Aah! 167 00:11:30,208 --> 00:11:32,208 Damn it, Beavis, you butt-munch. 168 00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:36,917 This guy wants us to score with his wife, and he's gonna pay us. 169 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,958 We can buy a new TV. 170 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,375 Heh heh. Really? Heh heh. Cool. 171 00:11:43,417 --> 00:11:47,958 Uhh, huh huh... we'll do it, sir. 172 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,958 Well, all right, then. Let's get down to business. 173 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,083 Here she is, boys. Her name's Dallas. 174 00:11:54,125 --> 00:11:58,458 She ain't as sweet as she looks. She stole everything from me. 175 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,875 Watch out. She'll do you faster than you do her. 176 00:12:01,917 --> 00:12:05,250 Whoa. Uh huh... cool. 177 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:06,625 Heh heh. Yeah. 178 00:12:06,667 --> 00:12:11,333 She's in her room in Vegas. I got you one next to hers. 179 00:12:11,375 --> 00:12:15,708 Your flight leaves in an hour. I'll drive you to the airport. 180 00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:17,542 Holed up. 181 00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:19,667 Uh huh huh... 182 00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:21,333 Hole. 183 00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:23,542 Can we watch some TV first? 184 00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:26,500 No. 185 00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,917 Now, listen to me. This is real important. 186 00:12:32,958 --> 00:12:36,250 My wife's got this leather satchel. 187 00:12:36,292 --> 00:12:40,250 A black bag, this big. I need it back, boys. 188 00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:42,708 Sentimental value, you know what I mean? 189 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:44,500 Any questions so far? 190 00:12:44,583 --> 00:12:48,958 Uhh, does she have big hooters? 191 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,250 Heh heh. Yeah, she sure does. 192 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:54,375 Uh huh... this is gonna be cool. 193 00:12:54,417 --> 00:12:57,583 Y-y-yeah. Boi-yoi-yoi-ing. 194 00:12:57,625 --> 00:12:59,208 Heh heh heh... 195 00:13:00,958 --> 00:13:02,375 You guys are funny. 196 00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:05,250 Let's have a drink on it, huh? 197 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,417 Now, don't let me down. 198 00:13:18,375 --> 00:13:20,792 We're gonna get paid to score. 199 00:13:20,833 --> 00:13:25,125 Yeah. Then we're gonna get a big-screen TV... 200 00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:27,333 with 2 remotes. 201 00:13:27,375 --> 00:13:30,250 Beavis, this is the greatest day of our lives. 202 00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:32,417 Yeah. 203 00:13:39,125 --> 00:13:40,542 Here you are. 204 00:13:42,083 --> 00:13:45,917 Hey, Beavis, she touched my butt. 205 00:13:48,042 --> 00:13:49,583 Hello there. 206 00:13:49,667 --> 00:13:52,958 Are you two headin' for Las Vegas? 207 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,208 Yeah. We're gonna score. 208 00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:58,750 Oh. Well, I hope to score big there myself. 209 00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:01,458 I'm mostly gonna be doin' the slots. 210 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:05,000 Yeah, yeah. I'm hoping to do some sluts, too. 211 00:14:05,042 --> 00:14:07,875 Do they have lots of sluts in Vegas? 212 00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:11,292 There's so many slots you won't know where to begin. 213 00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:14,250 Whoa. Hey, Butt-head, this chick is pretty cool. 214 00:14:14,292 --> 00:14:16,917 She says there's tons of sluts in Vegas. 215 00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:18,583 Cool. Uh huh... 216 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:23,833 It's so nice to meet young men who are so well-mannered. 217 00:14:23,917 --> 00:14:27,083 I'm gonna have money and a big-screen TV, 218 00:14:27,125 --> 00:14:29,292 and there's gonna be sluts everywhere. 219 00:14:29,375 --> 00:14:33,750 - It's gonna rule. - Oh, that's nice. 220 00:14:33,792 --> 00:14:37,208 'Look to the front of the cabin for safety instructions.' 221 00:14:37,250 --> 00:14:39,208 'To fasten your seat belt, 222 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:41,958 'insert the free end into the coupling... ' 223 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,583 "Insert." Uh huh huh... 224 00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:49,000 Uhh... hmm. 225 00:14:51,083 --> 00:14:52,125 Damn it! 226 00:14:52,167 --> 00:14:53,333 Uhh... 227 00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:55,958 Hi. Can I help you with that? 228 00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:05,708 - There. All set. - I love you. Uh huh... 229 00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:10,875 Hey, cut it out. I want HER to do it. 230 00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:14,250 Uh huh... come to Butt-head. 231 00:15:14,292 --> 00:15:16,750 'Flight attendants, prepare for take-off.' 232 00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:18,458 Nn! Damn it. 233 00:15:19,958 --> 00:15:23,333 Hey, wait a minute. What's going on? 234 00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,250 Aah! We're gonna die! 235 00:15:28,292 --> 00:15:30,625 Aah! We're all gonna die! 236 00:15:30,667 --> 00:15:32,542 Come to Butt-heaaaah... 237 00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:44,708 Uhh, could you, like, do that thing with my belt again? 238 00:15:50,875 --> 00:15:52,333 Yeah. This is her. 239 00:15:52,375 --> 00:15:54,458 Oh, she looks lovely. 240 00:15:54,542 --> 00:15:58,542 I'm probably going to make out with her first before we, uh... 241 00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:01,167 you know, heh heh, get down. 242 00:16:01,208 --> 00:16:04,125 I'm sorry. You have to speak up, son. 243 00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:07,208 I have this ringin' in my ears. 244 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:11,292 My doctor says it could be related to my heart palpitations. 245 00:16:11,375 --> 00:16:14,542 Heh. Really? I poop too much. 246 00:16:14,583 --> 00:16:15,958 Ooh. 247 00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:20,458 Maybe you're lactose-intolerant. 248 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:25,000 No, no. I poop too much! And then I get tired. 249 00:16:25,042 --> 00:16:29,417 Tired? Oh, well, I know all about tired, dear. 250 00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:32,625 I have just the thing for ya. 251 00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:37,458 Take a couple of these. They perk me right up. 252 00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:38,583 Thanks. 253 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,708 Tastes like crap. What else ya got? 254 00:16:45,792 --> 00:16:49,167 Oh, go right ahead. Help yourself. 255 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:57,292 So, uhh, huh huh... 256 00:16:57,333 --> 00:16:59,167 goin' to Las Vegas? 257 00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:13,458 Yi-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai... 258 00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:18,833 Hi. We're serving dinner now. 259 00:17:18,875 --> 00:17:22,458 Our selections tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo. 260 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,625 - Piccata! Titicaca! - Does the gumbo have corn? 261 00:17:25,667 --> 00:17:29,458 I am Cornholio. I need piccata for my bung-hole. 262 00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:30,958 You'll have to wait. 263 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,292 Are you threatening me? My bung-hole will not wait. 264 00:17:34,333 --> 00:17:36,000 Heh heh. Bungholio. 265 00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:42,958 Uhh, hey, I got a beer. 266 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,792 Want some? Uh huh... 267 00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:46,667 I am Cornholio! 268 00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:48,292 Aah! Aah! 269 00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,375 Aah... 270 00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:56,500 Get outta the cockpit! 271 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,792 - Uh huh. You said... - Now! 272 00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,542 'Welcome to Las Vegas.' 273 00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:09,625 Uhh... 274 00:18:09,667 --> 00:18:12,708 This is Las Vegas? 275 00:18:12,750 --> 00:18:16,292 Yeah. I thought there'd be casinos and lights and stuff. 276 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,167 This isn't very good. 277 00:18:20,125 --> 00:18:23,500 Hey, Butt-head, why is that guy holding a sign? 278 00:18:23,542 --> 00:18:24,625 Uhh... 279 00:18:24,667 --> 00:18:26,208 maybe he's blind. 280 00:18:26,250 --> 00:18:28,750 Uh huh. Check this out. 281 00:18:32,958 --> 00:18:36,875 Ahem. Excuse me. Heh heh. 282 00:18:36,917 --> 00:18:40,125 You guys know where I can find these guys? 283 00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:42,208 Oh. 284 00:18:43,792 --> 00:18:47,208 Uhh, Be-a... Be-ave? 285 00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,958 Um, Buh... Boo... 286 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,250 Boot? Someone named Boot? 287 00:18:53,417 --> 00:18:55,167 This says Beavis. 288 00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:57,375 And Boot-head. 289 00:18:57,417 --> 00:19:01,625 Uhh... that's Butt-head. Don't you get it, Beavis? 290 00:19:01,667 --> 00:19:04,375 These dudes have the same name as us. 291 00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,667 Whoa, really? We should party. 292 00:19:06,708 --> 00:19:09,583 This way, sirs. 293 00:19:11,167 --> 00:19:13,208 Where are those guys? 294 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:15,667 Where the hell is he? 295 00:19:15,708 --> 00:19:17,958 You sure this is the right place? 296 00:19:23,917 --> 00:19:25,167 You Muddy? 297 00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,792 What are you, cops? 298 00:19:26,833 --> 00:19:31,375 No. Earl sent us, you know, to take care of your wife. 299 00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:32,833 What? Take care... 300 00:19:32,875 --> 00:19:35,375 What the hell are you talkin' about? 301 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:38,292 - Who were the other two clowns? - Huh? 302 00:19:38,333 --> 00:19:40,667 God damn it! She did it again! 303 00:19:40,708 --> 00:19:44,167 I'm going to Vegas to kill all three of them! 304 00:19:44,208 --> 00:19:48,667 I noticed your TV was broken. Wanna buy a new one? 305 00:19:52,917 --> 00:19:55,708 Just leave it. Worthless piece of crap. 306 00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:59,042 Really, man. We gotta start stealin' from rich people. 307 00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,500 Love Rollercoaster 308 00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:09,000 # You give me that funny feeling in my stomach 309 00:20:12,417 --> 00:20:16,750 # Ah, shake it, yeah! That's right! 310 00:20:16,792 --> 00:20:18,625 # Roller coaster 311 00:20:18,667 --> 00:20:20,250 # Of love 312 00:20:20,417 --> 00:20:23,125 # Roller coaster 313 00:20:23,167 --> 00:20:25,042 # Hoo-ooh, ooh, ooh 314 00:20:25,083 --> 00:20:26,833 # Roller coaster 315 00:20:26,875 --> 00:20:28,917 # Of love 316 00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:31,250 # Roller coaster 317 00:20:31,292 --> 00:20:34,000 # Hoo-ooh, ooh, ooh 318 00:20:34,083 --> 00:20:35,750 # Your love is like 319 00:20:35,792 --> 00:20:38,167 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 320 00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:40,000 # I wanna ride 321 00:20:42,417 --> 00:20:44,458 # Your love is like 322 00:20:44,500 --> 00:20:46,542 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 323 00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:48,625 # I wanna ride 324 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,708 # 325 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,417 # Roller coaster 326 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,792 # Of love 327 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:12,958 # Roller coaster, oh, yeah 328 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,750 # Goin' round that curve 329 00:21:14,792 --> 00:21:16,625 # Roller coaster 330 00:21:16,667 --> 00:21:18,500 # Of love 331 00:21:18,542 --> 00:21:20,083 # Roller coaster 332 00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:23,417 # Gonna get down, my roll-roller coaster 333 00:21:23,458 --> 00:21:25,500 # Your love is like 334 00:21:25,542 --> 00:21:27,667 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 335 00:21:27,708 --> 00:21:29,792 # I wanna ride 336 00:21:32,042 --> 00:21:33,708 # Your love is like 337 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:36,000 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 338 00:21:36,042 --> 00:21:38,125 # I wanna ride 339 00:21:40,208 --> 00:21:41,583 # Your love is like 340 00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:44,083 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 341 00:21:44,125 --> 00:21:45,958 # I wanna ride 342 00:21:48,125 --> 00:21:50,083 # Your love is like 343 00:21:50,167 --> 00:21:52,375 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 344 00:21:52,417 --> 00:21:54,208 # I wanna ride 345 00:21:56,542 --> 00:21:58,208 # Your love is like 346 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,375 # A roller coaster, baby, baby 347 00:22:00,417 --> 00:22:02,750 # I wanna ride... # 348 00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:12,917 I'm sorry about that little misunderstanding, gentlemen. 349 00:22:12,958 --> 00:22:16,083 We didn't realise you were registered guests. 350 00:22:16,125 --> 00:22:18,417 If there's anything we can do to... 351 00:22:18,458 --> 00:22:19,875 Mm! Damn it! 352 00:22:19,917 --> 00:22:21,417 This thing is stuck. 353 00:22:21,458 --> 00:22:23,500 Uh, sir, it's attached to the... 354 00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:26,417 You dumb-ass. Let me try. Uh huh huh. 355 00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:29,542 Hey, check it out. That guy's still standing there. 356 00:22:29,583 --> 00:22:31,375 Ahem. 357 00:22:31,417 --> 00:22:35,083 Uhh... could you, like, not stand there and stuff? 358 00:22:38,333 --> 00:22:41,000 - Some people are dumb. - Yeah, really. 359 00:22:44,417 --> 00:22:47,542 Uhh... check it out, Beavis. 360 00:22:47,625 --> 00:22:49,292 I wonder where this goes. 361 00:22:51,167 --> 00:22:55,917 Uhh... huh huh. Whoa. I think I hear a chick. 362 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,917 Really? Cool! Neat! 363 00:23:00,500 --> 00:23:01,708 Ow! 364 00:23:01,750 --> 00:23:05,542 All right, who are you? CIA, FBI, ATF? 365 00:23:05,583 --> 00:23:07,333 Hey, Butt-head, it's her! 366 00:23:07,375 --> 00:23:09,542 - Whoa! - Yeah! 367 00:23:09,583 --> 00:23:11,542 Uh... huh huh huh, hey, baby... 368 00:23:11,625 --> 00:23:15,417 Are we, like, gonna do it? 369 00:23:15,458 --> 00:23:16,875 You got 2 seconds. 370 00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:18,417 Uhh... huh huh... 371 00:23:18,458 --> 00:23:20,667 Is that gonna be enough time? 372 00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:23,750 - Who sent you? - Uh, this drunk dude. 373 00:23:23,792 --> 00:23:27,125 He said he was gonna pay us to do you. 374 00:23:27,208 --> 00:23:29,750 Muddy... Son of a bitch. 375 00:23:29,792 --> 00:23:32,500 Hold it. What's he paying you? 376 00:23:32,583 --> 00:23:35,042 Uhh... 10, uhh... 377 00:23:35,083 --> 00:23:39,333 10 grand? That cheap ass. 378 00:23:39,375 --> 00:23:41,917 I got a better deal. I'll double it. 379 00:23:41,958 --> 00:23:44,250 I'll pay you 20 to go back and do him. 380 00:23:44,292 --> 00:23:48,333 Uh, you want us to do a guy? No way. 381 00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:52,042 I don't know, Butt-head. That is a lot of money. 382 00:23:52,083 --> 00:23:55,375 We could close our eyes and pretend he's a chick... Aah! 383 00:24:01,625 --> 00:24:02,625 Damn. 384 00:24:02,708 --> 00:24:04,583 You two wait right there. 385 00:24:05,792 --> 00:24:09,125 Uh... huh huh huh. I'm ready for love. 386 00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:11,167 Yeah! I don't believe this. 387 00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:19,625 Hmm. 388 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:23,708 Yeah, Las Vegas. 389 00:24:23,750 --> 00:24:26,417 Give me the number for Dream America tours. 390 00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:27,583 Right. 391 00:24:27,625 --> 00:24:30,167 Uh huh huh. Uh huh huh. 392 00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:34,208 Yeah. You got a bus leaving today? Where's it going? 393 00:24:34,250 --> 00:24:36,125 Washington DC. 394 00:24:36,167 --> 00:24:40,292 5 minutes? Perfect. Give me 2 tickets. 395 00:24:40,333 --> 00:24:42,625 No way, Butt-head. You're always first. 396 00:24:42,667 --> 00:24:45,250 Damn it, Beavis, we've never done this before. 397 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:49,333 Oh, uhh... huh huh... 398 00:24:49,375 --> 00:24:51,875 Wanna... you know... Uh huh huh... 399 00:24:51,958 --> 00:24:54,833 Do it? Heh heh. Hey, we're finally gonna score! 400 00:24:54,875 --> 00:24:56,042 Do it? 401 00:24:56,083 --> 00:24:57,208 Ow! 402 00:24:57,250 --> 00:25:01,083 You guys wanna... score? Oh, ho ho. 403 00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:02,167 Damn it! 404 00:25:02,208 --> 00:25:05,250 Ow! Cut it out! 405 00:25:05,292 --> 00:25:06,333 You wait here. 406 00:25:06,375 --> 00:25:09,542 - Bunghole! - Damn it! Ow! Aah! 407 00:25:25,292 --> 00:25:26,333 Aah! 408 00:25:26,375 --> 00:25:28,250 Uh... huh huh huh. 409 00:25:31,542 --> 00:25:33,792 - Aah! - Uh... huh huh huh. 410 00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:35,208 No! 411 00:25:38,167 --> 00:25:40,125 Aah! Aah! Aah! 412 00:25:40,167 --> 00:25:42,250 - Ahem! - Aah! 413 00:25:42,292 --> 00:25:46,958 Don't wear yourselves out, boys. Save some energy for me. 414 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:51,125 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 415 00:25:51,167 --> 00:25:54,708 This is it, Beavis. We're finally gonna score. 416 00:25:54,750 --> 00:25:57,250 Heh heh... Thank God. 417 00:25:57,292 --> 00:25:59,792 Yeah. We're gonna do it, all right. 418 00:25:59,833 --> 00:26:03,083 - Uh, huh... Uh, huh... - Oh, yeah! Eh, heh... 419 00:26:03,167 --> 00:26:04,250 Ahem! 420 00:26:04,292 --> 00:26:07,625 Boys... boys... 421 00:26:07,667 --> 00:26:08,667 Boys! 422 00:26:10,750 --> 00:26:16,250 First, you have to do a little job for me. Would you like to? 423 00:26:16,292 --> 00:26:18,000 Here's what it is. 424 00:26:18,042 --> 00:26:23,167 I want you to take the bus to Washington. That's all. 425 00:26:23,208 --> 00:26:26,583 And when you get there, I'll be waiting. 426 00:26:26,625 --> 00:26:29,333 You're gonna make a whole lot of money, 427 00:26:29,375 --> 00:26:31,500 and I'm gonna give you everything. 428 00:26:31,542 --> 00:26:35,583 - Uh huh huh... - Hm, heh heh... 429 00:26:35,625 --> 00:26:39,000 Until then, keep your pants on. 430 00:26:39,958 --> 00:26:44,000 Now, your bus is downstairs waiting, so get going. 431 00:26:44,042 --> 00:26:46,750 - Uh huh huh... - Hm, heh heh... 432 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,167 Let's go! 433 00:26:53,208 --> 00:26:54,750 On three! 434 00:26:56,792 --> 00:26:58,958 This is gonna be cool. 435 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:00,917 Can't wait. Heh heh. 436 00:27:06,583 --> 00:27:07,833 Ow. 437 00:27:07,875 --> 00:27:10,625 Get outta there, Beavis. I want the window. 438 00:27:12,208 --> 00:27:14,750 Why don't ya take turns? 439 00:27:14,792 --> 00:27:18,167 Look, Butt-head. It's that slut from the plane. 440 00:27:18,208 --> 00:27:21,583 Oh, why, it's you two. 441 00:27:21,625 --> 00:27:23,833 How d'you do in Las Vegas? 442 00:27:23,917 --> 00:27:26,417 Um, we didn't score yet. 443 00:27:26,458 --> 00:27:29,167 Oh, well, I'm sorry to hear that. 444 00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:31,583 Me, I took a beatin'! 445 00:27:31,667 --> 00:27:34,250 Cool. 446 00:27:34,333 --> 00:27:37,167 So that's why I'm bussin' it across America. 447 00:27:37,208 --> 00:27:39,542 I'm so glad you're here. 448 00:27:39,583 --> 00:27:43,167 Jim, Jim! I want you to meet two nice boys. 449 00:27:43,208 --> 00:27:44,750 Uh... oh... 450 00:27:44,792 --> 00:27:48,167 This is Travis and Bob. What's your last name, dear? 451 00:27:48,208 --> 00:27:50,375 Uhh, Head. 452 00:27:50,417 --> 00:27:52,583 My first name's Butt. Uh huh huh. 453 00:27:59,250 --> 00:28:00,542 Agent Flemming, ATF. 454 00:28:00,583 --> 00:28:03,792 Are you gonna tell us where it is, 455 00:28:03,833 --> 00:28:06,792 or shall Agent Hurly give you another cavity search? 456 00:28:08,542 --> 00:28:09,917 Is that a promise? 457 00:28:09,958 --> 00:28:13,917 Look, Mrs Scum, we know who you are. Tell her, Bork. 458 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,708 Dallas Grimes, married to Muddy Grimes. 459 00:28:16,750 --> 00:28:19,417 You run a mom-and-pop arms smuggling ring. 460 00:28:21,208 --> 00:28:25,042 - Mmm. You got my bad side. - Three days ago, 461 00:28:25,083 --> 00:28:29,167 you pulled a job at the Army Research Facility in Hadley, Nevada, 462 00:28:29,208 --> 00:28:31,500 where you stole the X-5 unit. 463 00:28:31,583 --> 00:28:37,458 We know you had it when you checked in, so tell us where it is? 464 00:28:37,500 --> 00:28:38,875 You gonna charge me? 465 00:28:39,958 --> 00:28:41,917 I didn't think so. 466 00:28:41,958 --> 00:28:45,917 You wanna let me go, or wait till I file a wrongful arrest? 467 00:28:45,958 --> 00:28:51,208 We got nothing. We can only hold her another couple of hours. 468 00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:54,083 Damn it! Cut her loose. Where's that damn unit? 469 00:28:56,750 --> 00:29:00,167 Uh huh huh huh. We're in Washington. 470 00:29:00,208 --> 00:29:02,208 Yeah, yeah. We're gonna score now. 471 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:06,125 Actually, son, we're at the Hoover Dam. 472 00:29:06,167 --> 00:29:09,125 Um, no, no. We're in Washington! 473 00:29:09,167 --> 00:29:12,792 Yeah. We're gonna score now! 474 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:20,000 Over 40,000 tons of concrete were used to build the Hoover Dam. 475 00:29:20,042 --> 00:29:23,375 From top to bottom, the dam is 51 stories. 476 00:29:23,417 --> 00:29:25,708 It has a maximum capacity for generating... 477 00:29:25,750 --> 00:29:28,375 - Wow. Really? - 2.074 Megawatts of electricity, 478 00:29:28,417 --> 00:29:31,333 but on average, it generates about 25% of that. 479 00:29:31,375 --> 00:29:32,792 I'll be damned. 480 00:29:32,833 --> 00:29:36,625 Does anybody know how much energy it takes to power Vegas? 481 00:29:36,667 --> 00:29:39,000 Um, yeah, I just have a question. 482 00:29:39,042 --> 00:29:41,333 Is this a God dam? 483 00:29:41,375 --> 00:29:42,458 Uh huh huh. 484 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,625 You know, God damn. You know? 485 00:29:44,708 --> 00:29:47,417 If you'll follow me this way. 486 00:29:47,458 --> 00:29:50,750 This is dumb. Let's go find that chick. 487 00:29:50,792 --> 00:29:53,167 Yeah. Enough of this crap. 488 00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:55,750 Whoa. Check it out, Butt-head. TV! 489 00:29:55,792 --> 00:29:57,208 Cool. 490 00:29:59,292 --> 00:30:02,750 I gotta hit the head. Can you get me some coffee? 491 00:30:02,792 --> 00:30:03,833 All right. 492 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:09,042 Talk to me, Bork. 493 00:30:09,083 --> 00:30:10,792 A witness saw two teenagers 494 00:30:10,833 --> 00:30:13,583 leaving Dallas's room shortly before we arrived. 495 00:30:13,625 --> 00:30:15,958 Did he get a full cavity search? 496 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,292 Uh... the witness? 497 00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:21,792 You can never be too careful, Bork. 498 00:30:21,833 --> 00:30:26,292 I didn't think it was necessary. We have a picture from the elevator. 499 00:30:26,375 --> 00:30:27,875 Here. Have a look. 500 00:30:27,917 --> 00:30:29,292 What the hell? 501 00:30:29,333 --> 00:30:32,250 They look like a couple of kids, Chief. 502 00:30:32,292 --> 00:30:34,625 Don't you know what kids are capable of? 503 00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:36,375 Don't you read the papers? 504 00:30:36,417 --> 00:30:37,583 What the... 505 00:30:39,625 --> 00:30:41,292 Damn it! 506 00:30:41,417 --> 00:30:44,125 All they have is these shows about water. 507 00:30:44,167 --> 00:30:47,167 Yeah, really. They need some shows about fire. 508 00:30:47,250 --> 00:30:52,750 - Uhh, what are you doing, Beavis? - Something's wrong with my butt. 509 00:30:52,792 --> 00:30:55,375 Your butt sucks. 510 00:30:55,458 --> 00:30:58,042 Hey, how come there's no sound? 511 00:30:58,083 --> 00:30:59,958 Uhh... I'll fix it. 512 00:31:03,542 --> 00:31:04,583 Uhh... 513 00:31:07,625 --> 00:31:10,292 Yeah, yeah! There you go. Louder! Louder! 514 00:31:10,333 --> 00:31:14,583 Uh, huh... Hmm... Huh huh... 515 00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:20,917 Mas... ter... a... 516 00:31:20,958 --> 00:31:24,167 Masturbation? Uh huh huh huh! 517 00:31:33,875 --> 00:31:38,375 You know, I'll tell you what. It doesn't get any better than this. 518 00:31:38,417 --> 00:31:41,375 This here is God's country. Unspoiled and... 519 00:31:41,417 --> 00:31:44,292 Aaaaah! 520 00:31:44,333 --> 00:31:45,917 Uhh... 521 00:31:46,333 --> 00:31:48,667 I think I found the remote. 522 00:31:51,375 --> 00:31:53,333 What the hell's going on? 523 00:32:00,708 --> 00:32:03,167 I swear, that's all I know. 524 00:32:03,292 --> 00:32:06,167 They got on a tour bus heading west. 525 00:32:06,208 --> 00:32:07,917 Uhh! Please... 526 00:32:07,958 --> 00:32:09,667 I'm gonna kill 'em! 527 00:32:12,208 --> 00:32:14,375 That was boring. 528 00:32:14,417 --> 00:32:18,167 Yeah, yeah. Just the same thing, over and over again. 529 00:32:18,208 --> 00:32:19,792 Uhh, wait a minute. 530 00:32:19,833 --> 00:32:23,125 We can't leave Washington till we find that chick. 531 00:32:23,208 --> 00:32:26,167 Oh, we're a long way from Washington, Bob. 532 00:32:26,208 --> 00:32:29,375 This is the Hoover Dam. 533 00:32:29,417 --> 00:32:32,250 Dam. I'll be damned. Heh heh. 534 00:32:38,083 --> 00:32:40,333 You boys better show up. 535 00:32:45,625 --> 00:32:48,583 - See that, Bork? - I don't get it. 536 00:32:48,625 --> 00:32:52,250 You got half the state after you. How do you get away? 537 00:32:52,292 --> 00:32:53,333 Cut the power! 538 00:32:53,417 --> 00:32:56,708 Damn right. We're dealing with pros here. 539 00:32:56,750 --> 00:33:00,167 My opinion - terrorists. What's the scoop on that stolen unit? 540 00:33:00,250 --> 00:33:04,125 Well, sir, it's not good. Roll the tape. 541 00:33:04,167 --> 00:33:07,792 The X-5 unit is a new top-secret biological weapon. 542 00:33:07,833 --> 00:33:11,125 A man-made virus, the deadliest known to man. 543 00:33:11,167 --> 00:33:14,125 It could wipe out five states in five days. 544 00:33:14,167 --> 00:33:17,500 Here's what happened when it was tested on army recruits. 545 00:33:18,792 --> 00:33:20,750 Look at these guys, Chief. 546 00:33:20,792 --> 00:33:24,583 This thing is a veritable Doomsday device. 547 00:33:24,708 --> 00:33:28,500 Jesus jumped-up Christ! If it falls into the wrong hands... 548 00:33:28,542 --> 00:33:29,958 It gets worse. 549 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:33,417 The unit wasn't finished. It has a flaw - the casing. 550 00:33:33,458 --> 00:33:36,542 If hit hard, it could open, releasing the virus. 551 00:33:36,583 --> 00:33:40,208 As of now, these are the most dangerous men in America. 552 00:33:40,250 --> 00:33:45,083 I want these faces in front of every Fed and sheriff within 1,000 miles. 553 00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:47,833 The orders are dead or alive. 554 00:33:47,875 --> 00:33:50,667 Let's just pray that nothing hits that unit. 555 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,042 Ow! Ow! 556 00:33:52,083 --> 00:33:53,208 Cut it out! 557 00:33:53,250 --> 00:33:56,667 Get outta the way. I wanna sit by the window. 558 00:33:56,708 --> 00:33:58,625 OK, people, next stop: Grand Canyon. 559 00:34:01,292 --> 00:34:03,917 Gone Shootin' 560 00:34:23,917 --> 00:34:28,042 - Uh huh huh huh... - Hm hm, heh heh heh... 561 00:34:28,083 --> 00:34:30,458 Like, it's coming out of his ass, 562 00:34:30,500 --> 00:34:34,458 but it's, like, also coming out of the ass of the ass. 563 00:34:34,542 --> 00:34:38,542 It's like the poop'scoming out of the ass of the ass. 564 00:34:38,583 --> 00:34:39,667 Heh heh. Yeah! 565 00:34:39,750 --> 00:34:42,000 # Feel the pressure rise 566 00:34:43,208 --> 00:34:45,625 # Hear the whistle blow 567 00:34:47,250 --> 00:34:50,875 # Bought a ticket of her own accord 568 00:34:50,917 --> 00:34:53,625 # To I dunno 569 00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:58,958 # Packed her heart in a travellin' bag 570 00:34:59,125 --> 00:35:01,625 # Never said bye-bye 571 00:35:03,208 --> 00:35:06,750 # Somethin' missin' in the neighbourhood 572 00:35:06,833 --> 00:35:09,542 # Of her cryin' eyes 573 00:35:11,583 --> 00:35:15,667 # I stirred my coffee with the same spoon 574 00:35:15,708 --> 00:35:18,042 # Knew her favourite tune 575 00:35:19,208 --> 00:35:21,167 # Gone shootin' # 576 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:29,333 There are over 200 active geysers in Yellowstone Park. 577 00:35:29,375 --> 00:35:32,458 Old Faithful here is one of the largest. 578 00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:37,083 During an eruption, the water can reach as high as 200 feet. 579 00:35:37,125 --> 00:35:39,375 - So? - Hm hm, heh heh. 580 00:35:39,417 --> 00:35:41,167 Uh, the geyser 581 00:35:41,250 --> 00:35:46,958 shoots out over 12,000 gallons of water in a single eruption. 582 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,583 That's not that much. 583 00:35:48,625 --> 00:35:50,708 Yeah, really. Let's get outta here. 584 00:35:50,750 --> 00:35:54,917 If you'll just step over here, the geyser is seconds away... 585 00:36:01,167 --> 00:36:03,292 Ooh, it's incredible. 586 00:36:03,375 --> 00:36:06,208 Oh, oh, yeah. That's amazing. 587 00:36:06,292 --> 00:36:08,458 It's incredible. 588 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,917 That's amazing. 589 00:36:11,958 --> 00:36:15,250 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 590 00:36:17,750 --> 00:36:21,000 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 591 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,500 Can't wait forever. 592 00:36:33,042 --> 00:36:35,667 Damn kids. No respect. 593 00:36:36,417 --> 00:36:38,000 Don't appreciate anything. 594 00:36:38,417 --> 00:36:39,917 Oh, my God! 595 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,333 Wait! Stop! 596 00:36:42,375 --> 00:36:43,875 Darn it. 597 00:36:45,083 --> 00:36:46,542 Get me the police. 598 00:36:46,583 --> 00:36:48,625 - Uh huh. - Hm, heh. 599 00:36:48,667 --> 00:36:52,292 This is the coolest thing I have ever seen. 600 00:36:54,792 --> 00:36:58,583 We got 'em. They're on a bus on Highway 89. 601 00:37:01,333 --> 00:37:02,917 Ah... heh... yeah, that was great. 602 00:37:02,958 --> 00:37:04,000 Yeah. 603 00:37:09,958 --> 00:37:13,750 Uhh... is this the right bus? 604 00:37:13,792 --> 00:37:14,958 Um... heh heh. 605 00:37:16,500 --> 00:37:19,500 Uh huh huh huh. 606 00:37:19,542 --> 00:37:23,000 Hey, Beavis, we're on a bus with chicks. 607 00:37:24,958 --> 00:37:26,292 Hey, baby. 608 00:37:29,875 --> 00:37:33,500 - They're not on the bus. - These people know something. 609 00:37:33,542 --> 00:37:35,625 I want full cavity searches. 610 00:37:35,667 --> 00:37:38,875 - Everyone. Go deep on 'em. - Agent Hurly. 611 00:37:38,917 --> 00:37:42,625 I tell you, Bork, these guys are smart, damn smart. 612 00:37:42,667 --> 00:37:45,667 They're probably a hundred miles away by now. 613 00:37:45,708 --> 00:37:48,583 Uh huh huh. 614 00:37:55,458 --> 00:37:57,417 Butt-head, this book kicks ass. 615 00:37:57,458 --> 00:38:00,250 There's a talking snake, and a naked chick, 616 00:38:00,333 --> 00:38:03,708 and then this dude puts a leaf on his schlong. 617 00:38:03,750 --> 00:38:05,125 Cool. 618 00:38:05,958 --> 00:38:08,833 Uhh... uhh... 619 00:38:09,958 --> 00:38:11,083 Ow! 620 00:38:34,083 --> 00:38:37,042 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 621 00:38:38,917 --> 00:38:41,542 Check it out, Butt-head - porta-potties. 622 00:38:41,625 --> 00:38:45,875 Cool. I gotta take a dump. 623 00:38:45,917 --> 00:38:49,542 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 624 00:38:49,583 --> 00:38:52,083 Uhh... where's the toilet? 625 00:38:59,042 --> 00:39:02,000 Forgive me, Father. I've sinned. 626 00:39:02,042 --> 00:39:04,833 I slept with a woman, and, uh... 627 00:39:04,875 --> 00:39:08,417 Really? Uh huh huh. Was she naked? 628 00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:11,458 Well, yes, Father. Please forgive me. 629 00:39:11,542 --> 00:39:13,500 Cool! Uh huh huh. 630 00:39:13,583 --> 00:39:17,917 Could you, like, see her boobs? Uh huh huh huh. 631 00:39:17,958 --> 00:39:21,292 Uh, I'm sorry. How many Hail Marys? 632 00:39:21,333 --> 00:39:22,792 A thousand! Heh... 633 00:39:22,833 --> 00:39:25,708 And I want you to hit yourself! Right now! 634 00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:28,708 - Uh, now? - Yeah... do it! 635 00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:31,750 Yeah! Harder! Do it again! 636 00:39:31,792 --> 00:39:34,083 Oww! Aah! 637 00:39:34,125 --> 00:39:37,458 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 638 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:41,500 Heh... hm hm. 639 00:39:44,208 --> 00:39:46,000 'Welcome to the petrified forest, 640 00:39:46,042 --> 00:39:49,333 'the world's largest site of petrified wood.' 641 00:39:49,417 --> 00:39:52,250 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 642 00:39:52,292 --> 00:39:53,583 "Wood." Uh huh huh! 643 00:39:53,667 --> 00:39:57,667 'You may wonder, "how can wood get so hard?"' 644 00:39:57,708 --> 00:40:00,333 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 645 00:40:00,417 --> 00:40:03,917 'The wood became hard over 2 million years ago.' 646 00:40:10,417 --> 00:40:11,833 Uh huh huh huh. 647 00:40:11,875 --> 00:40:13,250 Hm hm, heh heh. 648 00:40:13,292 --> 00:40:15,750 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh. 649 00:40:15,792 --> 00:40:19,208 - Uh huh huh huh. - Hm hm, heh heh. 650 00:40:23,167 --> 00:40:25,542 "Wood." Uh huh huh... 651 00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,125 Hey, where'd those chicks go? 652 00:40:29,167 --> 00:40:32,292 I think you scared them off. 653 00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:35,292 This sucks. What are we doing here? 654 00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:37,917 Uhh... I don't know. 655 00:40:39,792 --> 00:40:43,167 Uhh, do you know where Washington is? 656 00:40:43,208 --> 00:40:46,292 Uh, yeah. About 2,000 miles that way. 657 00:40:46,333 --> 00:40:48,917 - Cool. - Thanks. 658 00:40:54,125 --> 00:40:57,083 Didn't see which way they went or their vehicle. 659 00:40:57,167 --> 00:40:59,708 I don't suppose you tried to stop them. 660 00:40:59,750 --> 00:41:03,708 The most dangerous guys in America? No, thanks. I make $9 an hour. 661 00:41:03,750 --> 00:41:07,542 National security is the responsibility of every American. 662 00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:09,708 - Bork... - Cavity search? 663 00:41:09,792 --> 00:41:12,667 - Deep and hard. - Agent Hurly. 664 00:41:12,708 --> 00:41:14,125 They're not getting away. 665 00:41:14,167 --> 00:41:18,333 I want roadblocks - every road out of here for 200 miles. 666 00:41:29,167 --> 00:41:33,125 Um... this sucks. It's all hot and stuff. 667 00:41:33,167 --> 00:41:35,833 This desert is stupid. 668 00:41:35,833 --> 00:41:38,792 They need to put a drinking fountain out here. 669 00:41:38,833 --> 00:41:41,667 Yeah, like, a 7-Eleven or something. Heh. 670 00:41:47,708 --> 00:41:49,708 Somethin' wrong, Officer? 671 00:41:49,750 --> 00:41:51,625 We're looking for these fugitives. 672 00:41:51,667 --> 00:41:53,500 Well, I'll be danged. 673 00:41:53,583 --> 00:41:57,042 That's them kids that have been whackin' in my camper. 674 00:41:57,083 --> 00:41:59,208 - You saw them? - Sure. 675 00:41:59,250 --> 00:42:02,917 Boy, I never seen two kids do so much damned whackin'. 676 00:42:02,958 --> 00:42:06,292 Blue Den, this is post 9. I have positive ID. 677 00:42:06,333 --> 00:42:08,583 They're like two spider monkeys... 678 00:42:08,625 --> 00:42:11,083 Step out of the vehicle, please. 679 00:42:11,125 --> 00:42:15,417 Wait a minute. Me and the missus are on our way to Washington... 680 00:42:15,458 --> 00:42:16,708 Now! 681 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,375 Now, wait right there. 682 00:42:20,417 --> 00:42:23,333 You're dealing with a veteran of two foreign wars. 683 00:42:23,375 --> 00:42:25,208 They're the ones been whackin'. 684 00:42:25,250 --> 00:42:28,375 I find anything broken, you and I'll tangle. 685 00:42:30,708 --> 00:42:33,417 Masturbating in the man's camper. 686 00:42:33,458 --> 00:42:35,875 We're dealing with two sick individuals. 687 00:42:35,917 --> 00:42:39,917 I want that camper torn apart, full cavity searches all around. 688 00:42:39,958 --> 00:42:42,958 Something tells me he could be involved. 689 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,333 What in the... Wait just a minute! 690 00:42:45,375 --> 00:42:48,875 Chief, 2 days ago, Express Airways had a disturbance 691 00:42:48,917 --> 00:42:52,500 by someone calling himself "Cornholio". 692 00:42:52,542 --> 00:42:54,542 Guess who matches the description? 693 00:42:54,583 --> 00:42:57,625 Finally, a real break. 694 00:42:57,667 --> 00:43:00,333 Get me the departure point. We'll kick ass. 695 00:43:03,917 --> 00:43:06,375 - Uh huh huh. - Nuhn. 696 00:43:06,458 --> 00:43:09,917 - Uh huh huh... - Hm hm, heh. 697 00:43:09,958 --> 00:43:11,083 Uhh... 698 00:43:12,917 --> 00:43:17,292 Uhh huh... hey! One of you bastards got a match? 699 00:43:17,333 --> 00:43:21,083 Uhh, yeah. My butt and your... 700 00:43:21,167 --> 00:43:23,625 uhh... butt. Uh huh huh. 701 00:43:25,375 --> 00:43:27,292 Uh huh huh. Uh huh. 702 00:43:27,375 --> 00:43:30,250 - Uh huh huh. - Hm, heh heh. 703 00:43:30,292 --> 00:43:33,667 - Hm hm, heh heh. - Uh huh huh huh. 704 00:43:36,125 --> 00:43:41,083 Here's a song that might help you cope with those feelings, mm-kay? 705 00:43:41,167 --> 00:43:42,958 It's called Lesbian Seagull. 706 00:43:44,583 --> 00:43:47,083 # She flies so gracefully 707 00:43:47,167 --> 00:43:49,958 # Over rocks, trees and sand 708 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:53,417 # Soaring over cliffs 709 00:43:53,458 --> 00:43:58,042 # And gently floating down to land 710 00:43:58,583 --> 00:44:01,083 # She proudly lifts her voice 711 00:44:01,125 --> 00:44:03,750 # To sound the mating call 712 00:44:05,083 --> 00:44:07,208 # And soon her mate responds 713 00:44:07,250 --> 00:44:10,542 # By singing, "caw" 714 00:44:10,583 --> 00:44:11,917 # "Caw, caw" 715 00:44:11,958 --> 00:44:13,750 # Come with me 716 00:44:13,792 --> 00:44:17,167 # Lesbian seagull 717 00:44:19,125 --> 00:44:23,417 # Settle down and rest with me 718 00:44:23,458 --> 00:44:26,708 # Fly high 719 00:44:26,792 --> 00:44:28,542 # Lesbian seagull... # 720 00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:33,292 Uh, that's him! He's their teacher! 721 00:44:33,333 --> 00:44:34,542 Uh, huh, yeah. 722 00:44:34,583 --> 00:44:36,958 Uh, what's going on here? 723 00:44:37,083 --> 00:44:38,708 I'll ask the questions. 724 00:44:38,750 --> 00:44:40,208 Are these your students? 725 00:44:40,250 --> 00:44:42,708 I assume you're a government agent. 726 00:44:42,750 --> 00:44:44,708 I would think you would know 727 00:44:44,750 --> 00:44:48,375 there is something in this country called due process, mm-kay? 728 00:44:48,417 --> 00:44:52,417 That's the talk I'd expect from the guy who taught these two. 729 00:44:52,458 --> 00:44:53,542 Take this scum away. 730 00:44:53,583 --> 00:44:57,083 I believe I'm supposed to be read my Miranda rights. 731 00:44:57,125 --> 00:44:59,042 Now... Whaa! 732 00:44:59,083 --> 00:45:01,375 I always knew they were no good. 733 00:45:01,417 --> 00:45:03,125 Uh, I hate... 734 00:45:03,167 --> 00:45:06,917 Shut up! You've been harbouring two criminal masterminds. 735 00:45:07,250 --> 00:45:11,250 Chief, you know that guy whose camper they were whackin' off in? 736 00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:13,417 Bork, you are a federal agent. 737 00:45:13,458 --> 00:45:15,750 You represent the United States Government. 738 00:45:15,833 --> 00:45:18,458 Never end a sentence with a preposition. 739 00:45:18,500 --> 00:45:20,542 Oh. Uh... 740 00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:23,750 You know that guy in whose camper they... 741 00:45:23,792 --> 00:45:27,625 I mean that guy off in whose camper they were whacking? 742 00:45:27,667 --> 00:45:29,458 That's better. Yes? 743 00:45:29,500 --> 00:45:32,458 We've run a sample through the criminal sperm bank 744 00:45:32,542 --> 00:45:35,500 and found two possible genetic matches for a father. 745 00:45:35,542 --> 00:45:38,958 Former M�tley Cr�e roadies turned drifters. 746 00:45:41,042 --> 00:45:47,000 - You were a roadie for M�tley Cr�e? - Yep. Uh huh huh huh. 747 00:45:47,083 --> 00:45:50,500 Aha... fire. 748 00:45:50,542 --> 00:45:52,667 Uh, here's another true story. 749 00:45:52,708 --> 00:45:56,500 About 15 years ago, we stopped in this toilet... 750 00:45:56,542 --> 00:45:58,667 uhh, called Highland. 751 00:45:58,708 --> 00:46:01,875 Really? That's where we're from. 752 00:46:01,917 --> 00:46:04,208 Then you know what I'm talking about. 753 00:46:04,250 --> 00:46:05,875 Anyway, here's the story. 754 00:46:05,917 --> 00:46:08,542 I scored with these two chicks. True story. 755 00:46:08,583 --> 00:46:10,708 Heh heh heh. Yeah. Me, too. 756 00:46:10,750 --> 00:46:13,083 You scored with two chicks? 757 00:46:13,167 --> 00:46:15,875 Yeah. They were sluts. 758 00:46:19,417 --> 00:46:21,917 - Aah! - Shut up, dumb-ass! 759 00:46:21,958 --> 00:46:24,958 You didn't score. I scored with both of 'em. 760 00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:30,375 Uh, do you think these two sluts still live in Highland? 761 00:46:30,417 --> 00:46:32,792 That would be cool. 762 00:46:32,833 --> 00:46:36,583 Hey, you want to see something really cool? 763 00:46:36,625 --> 00:46:38,875 Uh huh huh huh. 764 00:46:47,375 --> 00:46:48,542 Fire! 765 00:46:57,208 --> 00:46:58,958 Ahh... 766 00:47:01,417 --> 00:47:02,625 Uhh... 767 00:47:02,667 --> 00:47:05,625 Hmm. Where'd those guys go? Yeah. 768 00:47:08,125 --> 00:47:10,083 Um... 769 00:47:10,125 --> 00:47:11,917 Are we almost there yet? 770 00:47:11,958 --> 00:47:16,917 Uhh... probably, like, another five minutes or something. 771 00:47:35,208 --> 00:47:38,958 - The sun sucks. - Yeah. 772 00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:40,917 Cut it out, butt-hole! 773 00:47:43,917 --> 00:47:45,792 Hey, Butt-head. 774 00:47:45,875 --> 00:47:49,042 Isn't there supposed to be, like, water in cactuses? 775 00:47:50,792 --> 00:47:51,875 Uhh... 776 00:47:59,458 --> 00:48:02,292 Hey, Beavis... 777 00:48:02,333 --> 00:48:04,417 check it out. 778 00:48:06,458 --> 00:48:09,208 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 779 00:48:09,250 --> 00:48:13,458 Well, no, I can't say that I've seen them, Officer. 780 00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:16,667 - I hope it's safe to drive here. - Stick to the main roads. 781 00:48:16,708 --> 00:48:19,292 They're probably hiding out in the desert. 782 00:48:19,375 --> 00:48:21,708 Well, that's good to know, Officer. 783 00:48:21,750 --> 00:48:23,417 Yeah. 784 00:48:28,167 --> 00:48:30,375 Oh... 785 00:48:30,417 --> 00:48:33,125 Hey, Butt-head, are we gonna die? 786 00:48:33,167 --> 00:48:37,208 Uhh... uhh... probably. 787 00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:39,958 Whoa! 788 00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:44,875 I think my life is, like, flashing in front of my eyes. 789 00:48:57,583 --> 00:48:59,250 Whoa... 790 00:48:59,292 --> 00:49:01,583 My life was cool. 791 00:49:02,542 --> 00:49:04,708 Mm mm, oh, yeah... 792 00:49:04,750 --> 00:49:06,833 Wait a minute. 793 00:49:06,875 --> 00:49:09,292 I think I'm seeing something, too. 794 00:49:10,042 --> 00:49:12,333 It's, like, a really long time ago. 795 00:49:12,375 --> 00:49:13,542 Heh heh heh. 796 00:49:13,583 --> 00:49:15,583 Yeah. This is gonna be cool. 797 00:49:18,292 --> 00:49:19,625 Hey, how's it going? 798 00:49:22,208 --> 00:49:23,250 Aah! 799 00:49:26,125 --> 00:49:27,750 Mm mm, heh heh. 800 00:49:27,792 --> 00:49:30,500 Yeah. I scored. 801 00:49:32,208 --> 00:49:36,083 Hey, Butt-head, I'm starting to feel weird. 802 00:49:36,167 --> 00:49:37,917 I think I'm freaking out. 803 00:49:37,958 --> 00:49:39,625 Uh... OK. 804 00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:41,667 Whoa, this is cool. 805 00:49:41,708 --> 00:49:43,167 It's like, 806 00:49:43,208 --> 00:49:47,667 it's like everything looks all weird... 807 00:49:47,708 --> 00:49:49,625 There're all these weird shapes... 808 00:49:49,667 --> 00:49:53,875 And it's sort of like... it's like a music video. 809 00:49:53,917 --> 00:49:57,375 What are you doing, Butt-head? Stop it! 810 00:49:57,417 --> 00:49:59,958 You're freaking me out! Cut it out! 811 00:50:01,042 --> 00:50:02,292 What's going on? 812 00:50:04,333 --> 00:50:06,792 Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks And Cannibal Girls 813 00:50:13,625 --> 00:50:16,042 There's a problem here. 814 00:50:16,125 --> 00:50:17,333 Ohh! 815 00:50:22,042 --> 00:50:24,750 Oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 816 00:50:24,792 --> 00:50:26,750 Fire! Fire! Fire! 817 00:50:26,792 --> 00:50:27,875 Oh, yes! 818 00:51:37,000 --> 00:51:40,958 - Aah! - Aah! I'm all wet! 819 00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:43,875 - Uhh... - Oh, hey, cool. 820 00:51:43,917 --> 00:51:45,250 Yeah. Water. 821 00:51:46,500 --> 00:51:48,125 Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this. 822 00:51:49,292 --> 00:51:51,625 Any last words before I kill you? 823 00:51:51,667 --> 00:51:53,917 Uhh... 824 00:51:53,958 --> 00:51:56,250 I have a couple. 825 00:51:56,292 --> 00:51:57,667 Butt cheeks. 826 00:51:57,708 --> 00:52:00,917 Yeah, yeah! And, um, and boobs. 827 00:52:00,958 --> 00:52:03,333 I just wanna say that again. Boobs. 828 00:52:03,375 --> 00:52:06,083 I'm gonna blow you both to hell! 829 00:52:06,125 --> 00:52:09,333 Cool. Whoa. 830 00:52:09,375 --> 00:52:13,083 Beavis, that's that dude that's paying us to do his wife. 831 00:52:13,125 --> 00:52:14,333 Oh, yeah, yeah. 832 00:52:14,375 --> 00:52:17,083 Um, can you just take us to Washington? 833 00:52:17,125 --> 00:52:20,333 We're gonna meet her there and, you know... 834 00:52:20,375 --> 00:52:23,750 Washington? That's where she's gonna meet up with you? 835 00:52:23,792 --> 00:52:27,125 You know, I just might need you boys after all. 836 00:52:27,167 --> 00:52:30,042 Get in the trunk. Both of you. Now! 837 00:52:35,083 --> 00:52:38,042 Boy, it sure is hard to score. 838 00:52:38,083 --> 00:52:39,167 Yeah, really. 839 00:52:50,542 --> 00:52:54,125 Hey, hey, Butt-head, check it out. Ajack. 840 00:52:54,167 --> 00:52:56,833 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 841 00:52:56,875 --> 00:52:58,875 Walk on Water 842 00:53:02,167 --> 00:53:04,542 # I met a magic man 843 00:53:04,583 --> 00:53:07,167 # Who had a daughter 844 00:53:07,208 --> 00:53:09,250 # She learned her lessons well 845 00:53:09,292 --> 00:53:11,250 # But still I taught her... 846 00:53:11,333 --> 00:53:12,917 Jack. 847 00:53:14,458 --> 00:53:16,417 # As lambs to slaughter 848 00:53:16,458 --> 00:53:19,042 # We shared forbidden fruit 849 00:53:19,083 --> 00:53:21,375 # And things I brought her 850 00:53:21,417 --> 00:53:24,958 # You may say I'm a miracle man... # 851 00:53:25,792 --> 00:53:27,833 Hey, Beavis, check it out. 852 00:53:27,875 --> 00:53:29,375 I'm jacking off. 853 00:53:29,417 --> 00:53:32,000 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 854 00:53:34,125 --> 00:53:35,333 Yeah. 855 00:53:35,375 --> 00:53:38,000 - Uh huh huh. - Heh heh heh. 856 00:53:38,042 --> 00:53:40,250 Let's get out of here. 857 00:53:44,125 --> 00:53:46,000 You go first, Beavis. 858 00:53:47,625 --> 00:53:50,875 I don't know, Butt-head. The road's moving pretty fast. 859 00:53:50,958 --> 00:53:54,875 Come on, Beavis. Start running really fast when you hit the ground. 860 00:53:54,917 --> 00:53:57,583 - It'll work. - No way. You go. 861 00:53:57,667 --> 00:53:59,208 Don't be a wuss, Beavis. 862 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:01,042 Aah! 863 00:54:02,042 --> 00:54:03,750 Uh huh huh. 864 00:54:13,667 --> 00:54:14,833 That was cool. 865 00:54:17,542 --> 00:54:19,458 Unh! Unh! Unh! 866 00:54:24,708 --> 00:54:27,708 Boy, what I wouldn't give for five minutes alone 867 00:54:27,750 --> 00:54:29,417 with them two little bastards. 868 00:54:29,917 --> 00:54:30,958 Aah! 869 00:54:47,917 --> 00:54:51,250 I need a trauma box over here right now! 870 00:54:51,292 --> 00:54:53,417 The news here is not good. 871 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:58,333 Authorities call this the worst highway disaster in history. 872 00:54:58,375 --> 00:55:02,250 'Behind me, over 400 vehicles lay wrecked or stuck.' 873 00:55:02,292 --> 00:55:03,500 Chief, look! 874 00:55:03,542 --> 00:55:05,500 'No one knows what caused it... ' 875 00:55:05,542 --> 00:55:07,958 Well, I'll be a blue-nosed gopher. 876 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:10,125 Where did these guys come from? 877 00:55:10,167 --> 00:55:12,958 The question is where are they going? 878 00:55:13,000 --> 00:55:16,667 'ln other news, G-PAC begins at 2 pm tomorrow, 879 00:55:16,708 --> 00:55:18,333 'when representatives from around the world... ' 880 00:55:18,417 --> 00:55:20,042 What the hell? 881 00:55:20,083 --> 00:55:23,500 Bork! That bus we picked up, where was it heading? 882 00:55:23,583 --> 00:55:25,167 Uh, DC, Chief. 883 00:55:25,208 --> 00:55:26,542 Jesus jumped-up... 884 00:55:26,583 --> 00:55:28,833 Bork, can you imagine what would happen 885 00:55:28,917 --> 00:55:31,875 if they set that thing off in the capital? 886 00:55:31,917 --> 00:55:36,333 If they sold it to someone at that conference? It's not gonna happen! 887 00:55:39,875 --> 00:55:41,250 Whoa! 888 00:55:41,292 --> 00:55:44,542 - This kicks ass. - Yeah. 889 00:55:44,625 --> 00:55:47,208 Yoo-hoo! Travis and Bob Head! 890 00:55:47,250 --> 00:55:48,875 Hellooo! 891 00:55:48,917 --> 00:55:53,000 - Butt-head, it's that chick. - Uh, oh, yeah. Cool. 892 00:55:53,042 --> 00:55:56,667 Maybe they'll take us to Washington, and we can finally score. 893 00:55:56,708 --> 00:55:57,958 Yeah. 894 00:55:58,042 --> 00:56:00,542 Um, isn't Seattle in Washington? 895 00:56:00,583 --> 00:56:04,208 Uh, yep. It sure is. 896 00:56:04,292 --> 00:56:08,542 Cool. I was thinking after we score, maybe we could go see Hole. 897 00:56:10,542 --> 00:56:11,583 Hole. 898 00:56:43,333 --> 00:56:44,375 Hmm. 899 00:56:52,417 --> 00:56:54,167 Expecting somebody? 900 00:56:54,208 --> 00:56:57,458 Well, well, look at this. 901 00:56:57,542 --> 00:57:01,000 The love of my life. 902 00:57:01,042 --> 00:57:02,833 Where have you been? 903 00:57:02,875 --> 00:57:06,000 Honey, I was gonna split it after I sold it. 904 00:57:06,042 --> 00:57:07,667 Down the middle, I swear... 905 00:57:07,708 --> 00:57:11,333 Now you don't have to go to all that bother. 906 00:57:11,375 --> 00:57:14,667 Come on, Muddy, how about we just forget about it 907 00:57:14,708 --> 00:57:17,042 and get a room like old times? 908 00:57:17,083 --> 00:57:19,667 I don't think so. Where is it? 909 00:57:19,708 --> 00:57:23,000 All senators are requested for a vote. 910 00:57:25,875 --> 00:57:27,833 - Can I help you? - Uh... 911 00:57:27,875 --> 00:57:29,667 We're looking for Washington? 912 00:57:29,708 --> 00:57:33,792 We're gonna meet this chick with really big hooters. 913 00:57:33,833 --> 00:57:35,917 Sirs, you are in Washington. 914 00:57:35,958 --> 00:57:38,000 Really? Well, where is she? 915 00:57:38,042 --> 00:57:41,875 Uh, could you make an announcement that we're ready to score? 916 00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:43,042 No. 917 00:57:43,083 --> 00:57:45,167 Just a moment. 918 00:57:45,208 --> 00:57:47,750 Hello? How may I help you? 919 00:57:50,625 --> 00:57:53,833 'Uh... attention. 920 00:57:53,917 --> 00:57:57,792 'Attention. We're looking for the chick with big boobs.' 921 00:57:57,833 --> 00:57:58,917 'Yeah! Yeah! ' 922 00:57:58,958 --> 00:58:01,208 'We are ready to do you now.' 923 00:58:01,250 --> 00:58:03,083 'Uh huh huh huh.' 924 00:58:03,167 --> 00:58:05,000 Uh huh huh huh. 925 00:58:07,750 --> 00:58:10,333 You forget who you're dealing with, honey. 926 00:58:10,375 --> 00:58:14,542 I got your mules right here in my trunk, and... 927 00:58:14,583 --> 00:58:17,792 Hey! Oh, damn! Damn! 928 00:58:17,875 --> 00:58:20,125 I am gonna kill them! 929 00:58:20,167 --> 00:58:21,792 No, honey... 930 00:58:21,833 --> 00:58:23,250 We'regonna kill them. 931 00:58:25,792 --> 00:58:27,542 Next stop, White House. 932 00:58:33,167 --> 00:58:36,875 Hey! What's going on? Why are we back on the bus? 933 00:58:36,917 --> 00:58:38,875 It's time to go, son. 934 00:58:38,917 --> 00:58:40,042 We can't leave! 935 00:58:40,083 --> 00:58:44,333 We never met that chick! Damn it! We were supposed to get some! 936 00:58:44,375 --> 00:58:45,750 Settle down, Beavis. 937 00:58:45,792 --> 00:58:47,750 No! I won't settle down! 938 00:58:47,792 --> 00:58:49,292 Not this time! 939 00:58:49,333 --> 00:58:51,042 Damn it! This always happens! 940 00:58:51,083 --> 00:58:54,917 I think I'm gonna score, then never score! It's not fair! 941 00:58:54,958 --> 00:58:59,042 We travelled, um, um... 100 miles 'cause we thought we'd score! 942 00:58:59,083 --> 00:59:01,000 It's not gonna happen! Damn it! 943 00:59:01,042 --> 00:59:03,833 - Buddy, sit down! - Shut up, asswipe! 944 00:59:03,875 --> 00:59:07,208 I'm sick and tired of this! We're never gonna score! 945 00:59:07,250 --> 00:59:10,250 It's not gonna happen! We'll get old like these people! 946 00:59:10,292 --> 00:59:13,417 - But they've probably scored! - Hey! Sit down! 947 00:59:13,458 --> 00:59:15,542 It's, like, this chick's a slut! 948 00:59:15,583 --> 00:59:18,917 And this guy's old, but he's scored a million times! 949 00:59:18,958 --> 00:59:20,250 Oh, yeah. 950 00:59:20,292 --> 00:59:24,458 But not us! We're never gonna score! We're never gonna score! 951 00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:26,083 Right! That's it, numb-nuts! 952 00:59:26,125 --> 00:59:27,167 Aah! 953 00:59:28,542 --> 00:59:30,042 Once more and I'll... Unh! 954 00:59:30,083 --> 00:59:31,125 Kick your ass! 955 00:59:35,542 --> 00:59:39,333 Well, look what we have here. You two make me sick. 956 00:59:39,417 --> 00:59:40,667 Book 'em, Bork. 957 00:59:40,750 --> 00:59:42,917 You don't have anything on us. 958 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,333 Oh, I don't? How about lewd conduct? 959 00:59:45,417 --> 00:59:48,750 Maybe indecent exposure. Here's what's gonna happen. 960 00:59:48,792 --> 00:59:54,375 One of you is gonna get me the unit. The other gets 60 years in jail. 961 00:59:54,417 --> 00:59:56,250 That's where you're wrong, boy. 962 00:59:56,292 --> 00:59:58,250 We're back together, and you'll never... 963 00:59:58,292 --> 01:00:02,292 He stole the unit! Said he put it in some kid's pants. 964 01:00:02,333 --> 01:00:04,625 Why you damn little four-legged... 965 01:00:04,667 --> 01:00:06,083 Hey! Take it easy! 966 01:00:06,125 --> 01:00:07,792 I'm gonna rip your... 967 01:00:10,667 --> 01:00:15,583 Now, Travis, it doesn't do a body good to get all worked up. 968 01:00:15,625 --> 01:00:20,042 Here, this should help you relax. 969 01:00:20,083 --> 01:00:22,958 Does that say "Xanax"? 970 01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:25,750 Um, yeah. 971 01:00:25,792 --> 01:00:27,875 Probably. I don't know. 972 01:00:34,375 --> 01:00:37,292 What else you got in there? Gimme that thing! 973 01:00:40,875 --> 01:00:42,208 Waah! 974 01:00:47,458 --> 01:00:50,500 Our suspects are on a tour bus heading for... 975 01:00:50,542 --> 01:00:52,417 the White House? 976 01:00:52,458 --> 01:00:54,333 Jumping Jesus! 977 01:00:54,375 --> 01:00:57,000 I want everyone there! Our people. Locals. 978 01:00:57,042 --> 01:00:59,250 Orders are shoot to kill. 979 01:01:08,083 --> 01:01:09,250 Ngaah! 980 01:01:21,083 --> 01:01:24,250 Yeah, yeah, heh heh, you know what's really cool? 981 01:01:24,292 --> 01:01:25,875 Butt-head. Butt-head. 982 01:01:25,917 --> 01:01:28,917 - Shut up, Beavis. - Yeah. Ooh. Eeh. 983 01:01:33,958 --> 01:01:35,917 Hey, Butt-head! Hey, Butt-head! 984 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:37,625 ...l'll be your tour guide. 985 01:01:37,667 --> 01:01:40,750 If you don't know, today's a very special day. 986 01:01:40,792 --> 01:01:42,792 Gathered at the White House today 987 01:01:42,833 --> 01:01:44,792 for an historic global conference called 988 01:01:44,833 --> 01:01:47,208 "Give Peace A Chance" or "G-PAC" 989 01:01:47,250 --> 01:01:49,708 are representatives from around the world. 990 01:01:49,750 --> 01:01:51,792 Ngaaahh! 991 01:01:51,833 --> 01:01:53,792 This is the East Room. 992 01:01:53,833 --> 01:01:57,000 Many of these portraits were saved from the fire 993 01:01:57,042 --> 01:02:00,625 - set by the British in 1814... - Fire! Fire! 994 01:02:00,667 --> 01:02:02,917 What's your problem, Beavis? 995 01:02:03,000 --> 01:02:04,125 Weeahh! 996 01:02:04,167 --> 01:02:06,167 The site for the White House 997 01:02:06,208 --> 01:02:08,625 was chosen by President Washington and Pierre L'Enfant. 998 01:02:08,667 --> 01:02:09,708 L'enfentata! 999 01:02:09,750 --> 01:02:12,167 L'enfentata titicaca for my bunghole! 1000 01:02:12,208 --> 01:02:13,708 - Bunghole! - Sir? 1001 01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:15,792 Sir, are you OK? 1002 01:02:15,833 --> 01:02:17,667 Are you threatening me? 1003 01:02:17,708 --> 01:02:19,833 I am Cornholio! 1004 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:22,500 OK... uh... sir, 1005 01:02:22,542 --> 01:02:25,333 maybe you should wait out in the lobby? 1006 01:02:25,375 --> 01:02:28,042 Um, OK. 1007 01:02:28,083 --> 01:02:32,583 In this lobby, will there be TP? For my bunghole? 1008 01:02:32,625 --> 01:02:35,417 - Cornholio... heh, heh. - The room was originally... 1009 01:02:41,542 --> 01:02:44,625 Boy, where are you when we need you, lke? 1010 01:02:44,667 --> 01:02:47,708 You know, honey, even with all we've been through, 1011 01:02:47,750 --> 01:02:49,375 it don't change a thing. 1012 01:02:49,417 --> 01:02:52,375 I've said it before, and I'll say it again. 1013 01:02:52,417 --> 01:02:55,792 This is the greatest country on Earth, and... 1014 01:02:55,833 --> 01:03:00,042 Say, that looks kind of like... naw, it couldn't be. 1015 01:03:00,083 --> 01:03:01,125 Bungholio! 1016 01:03:08,208 --> 01:03:11,667 Are you threatening me? I am Cornholio! 1017 01:03:12,875 --> 01:03:15,667 Yes, the President does plan to speak today 1018 01:03:15,708 --> 01:03:17,417 at the G-PAC conference. 1019 01:03:17,458 --> 01:03:19,250 Mr Secretary! Mr Secretary! 1020 01:03:19,292 --> 01:03:22,917 What about the rumours that a biological weapon has been stolen 1021 01:03:22,958 --> 01:03:25,917 and smuggled out of the country during this conference? 1022 01:03:25,958 --> 01:03:28,042 Those rumours are entirely unfounded. 1023 01:03:31,417 --> 01:03:33,500 Those rumours are totally unfounded. 1024 01:03:33,542 --> 01:03:35,833 I am the great Cornholio! 1025 01:03:35,917 --> 01:03:37,292 I am a gringo! 1026 01:03:37,333 --> 01:03:39,250 I have no bunghole. 1027 01:03:39,292 --> 01:03:42,125 Bungholio. Bungholio! 1028 01:03:51,208 --> 01:03:53,250 This is the State dining room, 1029 01:03:53,292 --> 01:03:56,125 where the most powerful world leaders are entertained. 1030 01:03:56,167 --> 01:03:59,375 Hey! Uh, where's the TV? 1031 01:03:59,417 --> 01:04:02,458 There are no TVs in the dining room. 1032 01:04:02,500 --> 01:04:04,417 This house sucks. 1033 01:04:04,458 --> 01:04:06,042 Please follow me. 1034 01:04:06,083 --> 01:04:08,042 Evacuation? 1035 01:04:08,083 --> 01:04:10,792 It's probably just another bomb threat or something. 1036 01:04:10,833 --> 01:04:11,875 OK. 1037 01:04:16,292 --> 01:04:18,417 Is this the lobby? 1038 01:04:18,500 --> 01:04:21,833 I am Cornholio! 1039 01:04:21,875 --> 01:04:24,042 I need TP for my bunghole! 1040 01:04:29,750 --> 01:04:30,917 Yes, Mr President. 1041 01:04:30,958 --> 01:04:32,417 'I am Cornholio! 1042 01:04:32,458 --> 01:04:35,125 'My bunghole, it goes rattatataa... ' 1043 01:04:35,167 --> 01:04:36,833 Mr President? 1044 01:04:37,292 --> 01:04:39,292 Mr President, I can't understand you. 1045 01:04:39,333 --> 01:04:42,042 Bwah! Bwah! Bwah! Ngaaah! 1046 01:04:42,083 --> 01:04:45,708 Sir, the President sounds strange. I don't think it's a drill. 1047 01:04:45,792 --> 01:04:49,833 Washington may be under attack. Go to DEFCON 4. 1048 01:04:52,958 --> 01:04:55,417 Step on it! Step on it! Move! 1049 01:04:56,750 --> 01:04:58,417 Uh huh huh huh... 1050 01:04:58,458 --> 01:05:00,125 Uh huh huh huh... 1051 01:05:00,167 --> 01:05:01,417 Uh huh huh... 1052 01:05:01,458 --> 01:05:04,167 Move it along, folks. Move it along. 1053 01:05:06,833 --> 01:05:09,792 Whoa! Hey, baby. 1054 01:05:12,542 --> 01:05:16,083 I noticed you have braces. I have braces, too. 1055 01:05:20,333 --> 01:05:22,000 Whoa! 1056 01:05:24,333 --> 01:05:27,083 Uh huh huh huh. That was cool. 1057 01:05:29,708 --> 01:05:30,875 Whoa! 1058 01:05:30,917 --> 01:05:33,833 This is the coolest thing I have ever seen. 1059 01:05:33,875 --> 01:05:37,292 - All right, where's the unit? - Uhh... 1060 01:05:37,333 --> 01:05:39,958 My unit? Uh huh huh. 1061 01:05:40,000 --> 01:05:41,375 In my pants. 1062 01:05:41,417 --> 01:05:43,708 Uh... uh... 1063 01:05:43,750 --> 01:05:45,417 Not on him, Chief. 1064 01:05:45,458 --> 01:05:49,417 Agent Hurly, I want you to give this scumbag a cavity search. 1065 01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:50,875 I'm talking roto-rooter. 1066 01:05:50,917 --> 01:05:53,667 Don't stop till you reach the back of his teeth. 1067 01:05:53,708 --> 01:05:56,500 Yeah. Uh huh huh huh. 1068 01:05:58,375 --> 01:06:01,958 - Sir, we await your orders. - Surrender your TP! 1069 01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:03,125 Give me that! 1070 01:06:03,167 --> 01:06:05,917 Mr President, in the name of all that's holy, 1071 01:06:06,042 --> 01:06:07,667 I need those launch codes. 1072 01:06:11,333 --> 01:06:16,250 I am Cornholio! You will cooperate with my bunghole. 1073 01:06:16,292 --> 01:06:18,792 For there is but one bunghole. 1074 01:06:18,833 --> 01:06:20,958 The almighty bunghole. 1075 01:06:23,917 --> 01:06:25,625 He's clean, Chief. 1076 01:06:25,667 --> 01:06:27,500 Uh... huh huh huh... 1077 01:06:27,542 --> 01:06:28,958 Did I just score? 1078 01:06:30,875 --> 01:06:34,792 The other guy has it. He's got to be here somewhere. 1079 01:06:34,833 --> 01:06:37,292 "Cornholio?" 1080 01:06:37,333 --> 01:06:40,375 "Cornholio." 1081 01:06:40,458 --> 01:06:43,542 Bung-ho! 1082 01:06:43,583 --> 01:06:47,292 Est-ce que vouz savez ce que c'est un "bung-hole?" 1083 01:06:47,333 --> 01:06:48,417 Huh? 1084 01:06:48,458 --> 01:06:50,417 Fire. Bungholio. 1085 01:06:50,458 --> 01:06:53,417 Excuse me. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience, gentlemen, 1086 01:06:53,458 --> 01:06:56,292 but we'll have to wait outside for a moment. 1087 01:06:56,333 --> 01:06:57,417 Follow me, please? 1088 01:06:58,500 --> 01:07:01,083 "TP for my bunghole?" 1089 01:07:01,167 --> 01:07:03,708 Yeah! Yeah! TP for my bunghole. 1090 01:07:06,792 --> 01:07:09,333 Let these conference gentlemen through, please. 1091 01:07:09,375 --> 01:07:11,042 It's OK. He's with them. 1092 01:07:13,958 --> 01:07:16,750 You cannot run from your own bunghole. 1093 01:07:19,958 --> 01:07:21,875 Bunghole, bunghole, bunghole. 1094 01:07:22,833 --> 01:07:24,792 Aha. 1095 01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:27,000 Uh heh heh heh. Oh, yeah. 1096 01:07:29,042 --> 01:07:30,833 Ohh. 1097 01:07:30,875 --> 01:07:32,000 # Mucha muchacha 1098 01:07:32,042 --> 01:07:33,167 Ahh. 1099 01:07:33,208 --> 01:07:34,625 # Mucha muchacha 1100 01:07:36,375 --> 01:07:37,500 Oh-ho-ho. 1101 01:07:37,583 --> 01:07:39,958 Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-ing! 1102 01:07:40,000 --> 01:07:43,500 # Mucha muchacha, Mucha muchacha # 1103 01:07:47,917 --> 01:07:51,250 Boy, it really makes you proud. 1104 01:07:51,292 --> 01:07:54,375 I could stay in here all day. 1105 01:07:54,458 --> 01:07:57,458 Sir, I have to ask you to leave. Now! 1106 01:07:57,500 --> 01:08:00,833 That's enough. I been plannin' this trip my whole life... 1107 01:08:00,875 --> 01:08:02,583 What do you think you're? 1108 01:08:02,625 --> 01:08:04,375 Something about a corn hole... 1109 01:08:04,417 --> 01:08:07,917 We haven't seen the Lincoln Room. Let go of me! 1110 01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,917 Uh, say, Chief... 1111 01:08:10,958 --> 01:08:13,917 isn't that the guy whose camper they were whackin'... 1112 01:08:13,958 --> 01:08:16,917 I mean, off in whose whackin' camper... 1113 01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:18,333 Not now, Bork. 1114 01:08:19,542 --> 01:08:22,625 Honey, this country's going to hell in a hand-basket. 1115 01:08:22,667 --> 01:08:26,500 I'm going to go and talk to my congressman about this. 1116 01:08:26,542 --> 01:08:28,625 Aah! Ooh. Mmm. Ah! 1117 01:08:28,667 --> 01:08:30,292 What the hell? 1118 01:08:30,333 --> 01:08:32,292 Wait here a minute. 1119 01:08:34,667 --> 01:08:36,333 Oh! No! Ohh, no! 1120 01:08:36,375 --> 01:08:39,667 What in the hell is that damn noise? 1121 01:08:39,708 --> 01:08:41,167 I... Huh? Aah! What?! 1122 01:08:41,208 --> 01:08:42,917 Hey. How's it going? 1123 01:08:42,958 --> 01:08:44,917 Pull your damn pants up, boy! 1124 01:08:44,958 --> 01:08:47,417 I don't want to see that! 1125 01:08:47,458 --> 01:08:48,917 Get out of here! 1126 01:08:48,958 --> 01:08:51,917 If I ever catch you whackin' in here again, 1127 01:08:51,958 --> 01:08:53,500 I'll hog-tie you! 1128 01:08:53,542 --> 01:08:57,000 Aw, damn it! Now I gotta straighten up in here. 1129 01:08:58,042 --> 01:09:01,375 We just cleared all four floors. No sign of him. 1130 01:09:01,417 --> 01:09:03,458 Where the hell is he? 1131 01:09:03,500 --> 01:09:06,500 Say, Chief, isn't that the camper... 1132 01:09:06,542 --> 01:09:07,875 Bork, not now. 1133 01:09:07,917 --> 01:09:09,417 Chief, look. 1134 01:09:09,500 --> 01:09:12,750 Well, I'll be a monkey's bare-assed uncle. 1135 01:09:12,792 --> 01:09:14,875 Attention, all units. We've got him. 1136 01:09:14,917 --> 01:09:16,667 He's on Pennsylvania Avenue. 1137 01:09:19,375 --> 01:09:22,750 I am Cornholio! I will lay waste to your bunghole! 1138 01:09:23,458 --> 01:09:26,708 Bungholio. Holio-bungholio. 1139 01:09:27,667 --> 01:09:29,375 Hit the deck! Get down! 1140 01:09:29,417 --> 01:09:31,333 Bunghole, bunghole, bunghole... 1141 01:09:31,375 --> 01:09:35,458 OK, nobody shoot. He could still have the unit on him. 1142 01:09:35,500 --> 01:09:39,333 Keep your distance. We don't want to risk hitting it. 1143 01:09:39,375 --> 01:09:41,958 - Where are his pants? - Who knows? 1144 01:09:42,000 --> 01:09:43,083 Bunghole. 1145 01:09:43,125 --> 01:09:46,167 - Bunghole? Bungholio. - This is Agent Flemming, ATF. 1146 01:09:46,208 --> 01:09:49,750 We won't hurt you. We just want the unit. 1147 01:09:58,000 --> 01:09:59,792 Tell us where it is. 1148 01:09:59,833 --> 01:10:01,333 Do you have TP? 1149 01:10:01,375 --> 01:10:03,167 TP for my bunghole? 1150 01:10:03,208 --> 01:10:05,125 We'll get you whatever you want. 1151 01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:06,875 We might need that other kid. 1152 01:10:06,917 --> 01:10:08,375 Do you have any holio? 1153 01:10:08,417 --> 01:10:10,417 Uh, yeah, this is Bork. 1154 01:10:10,458 --> 01:10:12,375 Listen, we need some TP. 1155 01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:13,917 And some... 1156 01:10:13,958 --> 01:10:15,500 what did he say? 1157 01:10:16,542 --> 01:10:18,875 Whoa. Uh huh huh huh. 1158 01:10:18,917 --> 01:10:20,042 This rules. 1159 01:10:21,083 --> 01:10:23,042 Can I have a gun, too? 1160 01:10:24,083 --> 01:10:26,917 You must bow down to the almighty bunghole! 1161 01:10:26,958 --> 01:10:28,500 This is cool. 1162 01:10:28,542 --> 01:10:30,292 Garga-holio-ala-hole... 1163 01:10:30,333 --> 01:10:34,125 This is your last chance. Give us the unit now. 1164 01:10:34,167 --> 01:10:36,917 Why does everybody want to see my schlong? 1165 01:10:37,958 --> 01:10:39,458 Uh, bunghole. 1166 01:10:39,500 --> 01:10:43,542 - Mmm-bungholio-o-o-o-o. - He's jerking us off. 1167 01:10:43,583 --> 01:10:48,708 We're gonna have to take him out. Get ready to fire on my orders. 1168 01:10:48,750 --> 01:10:52,375 I am the one and only almighty one and only bungholio! 1169 01:10:52,417 --> 01:10:56,083 This is your last chance. I'll give you three seconds. 1170 01:10:56,125 --> 01:10:57,833 I have no bungholio! 1171 01:10:57,917 --> 01:11:01,042 Fire on the count of three. One... 1172 01:11:01,083 --> 01:11:03,250 Would you like to see my bunghole? 1173 01:11:04,875 --> 01:11:08,333 - I will show you my bungho-o-o-ole! - Two... 1174 01:11:10,375 --> 01:11:12,417 I have no bungho-o-le! 1175 01:11:12,458 --> 01:11:13,917 Uh huh huh huh. 1176 01:11:15,750 --> 01:11:17,375 What's going on? 1177 01:11:17,417 --> 01:11:19,417 - What is this? - Three! 1178 01:11:19,458 --> 01:11:21,750 Take your damn pants with you! 1179 01:11:21,833 --> 01:11:23,750 - Hold your fire! - What in hell? 1180 01:11:23,792 --> 01:11:26,958 The pants! He's got the unit! 1181 01:11:27,000 --> 01:11:29,208 Drop the pants. Now! 1182 01:11:29,292 --> 01:11:32,417 Wait a minute. I ain't the one... 1183 01:11:32,458 --> 01:11:34,500 who... 1184 01:11:42,083 --> 01:11:43,125 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 1185 01:11:48,625 --> 01:11:50,958 Uh huh. Uh huh huh. 1186 01:11:54,000 --> 01:11:55,083 Whoa. Oh. 1187 01:11:57,333 --> 01:12:02,292 Uh... here you go. Uh huh huh huh. 1188 01:12:05,958 --> 01:12:07,875 Wait just a minute, mister. 1189 01:12:07,917 --> 01:12:09,875 Sir, take a look at this. 1190 01:12:09,958 --> 01:12:12,292 How do you explain this? 1191 01:12:12,333 --> 01:12:14,167 What are you talking about? 1192 01:12:14,208 --> 01:12:19,250 So, using two innocent teenagers as pawns in your sick game, huh? 1193 01:12:19,375 --> 01:12:22,667 I already told you I don't know what this is about. 1194 01:12:22,708 --> 01:12:26,750 - Take him away. - Hey! Get your damn hands off me! 1195 01:12:26,792 --> 01:12:28,542 God damn it! Hey! 1196 01:12:28,583 --> 01:12:30,458 Aah! Ow! 1197 01:12:30,500 --> 01:12:31,750 Damn it! 1198 01:12:33,208 --> 01:12:35,333 You don't know who you're dealing with! 1199 01:12:35,375 --> 01:12:37,958 I'm a veteran of two foreign wars! 1200 01:12:39,000 --> 01:12:40,667 I ain't the one that... 1201 01:12:42,208 --> 01:12:44,875 I always thought there was something wrong with him. 1202 01:12:44,917 --> 01:12:46,958 Yeah. Uh huh huh huh. 1203 01:12:47,000 --> 01:12:50,333 - He had a lot of problems. - Yeah, yeah. 1204 01:12:50,375 --> 01:12:53,667 And he used to hit me. Yeah. Uh heh heh. 1205 01:12:53,750 --> 01:12:54,792 Uh, hey... 1206 01:12:54,833 --> 01:12:56,792 does anyone wanna see MYunit? 1207 01:13:00,292 --> 01:13:02,542 I admit it. I figured you wrong. 1208 01:13:02,583 --> 01:13:04,292 I thought you were scum, 1209 01:13:04,333 --> 01:13:07,292 but you saved more lives than you'll ever know. 1210 01:13:07,333 --> 01:13:10,917 You led us to one of the sickest criminals in history. 1211 01:13:10,958 --> 01:13:13,000 This country owes you a debt. 1212 01:13:13,042 --> 01:13:16,917 Uh, does that mean we're gonna get, like, money and stuff? 1213 01:13:16,958 --> 01:13:20,833 And, um, and chicks. We were supposed to score. 1214 01:13:20,875 --> 01:13:22,417 For security reasons, 1215 01:13:22,458 --> 01:13:25,042 your actions will have to remain top secret. 1216 01:13:25,083 --> 01:13:28,208 But someone very special wants to give his thanks. 1217 01:13:30,875 --> 01:13:32,792 Beavis and Butt-head, 1218 01:13:32,833 --> 01:13:35,458 on behalf of your fellow Americans, 1219 01:13:35,500 --> 01:13:37,708 I extend my deepest thanks. 1220 01:13:37,750 --> 01:13:41,875 You exemplify a fine new crop of young Americans, 1221 01:13:41,917 --> 01:13:45,917 who will grow into the leaders of this great country. 1222 01:13:45,958 --> 01:13:48,917 Uh huh huh huh. He said "extend". 1223 01:13:48,958 --> 01:13:50,292 Oh, yeah. 1224 01:13:50,333 --> 01:13:52,875 In recognition for your great service, 1225 01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:55,500 I'm appointing you honorary agents 1226 01:13:55,542 --> 01:13:58,333 in the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms. 1227 01:13:58,375 --> 01:13:59,417 Whoa! 1228 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:01,792 Alcohol and tobacco? 1229 01:14:01,833 --> 01:14:02,917 Yeah. 1230 01:14:02,958 --> 01:14:06,250 - And firearms! Yeah. - Cool, huh? 1231 01:14:06,292 --> 01:14:08,750 Cigarettes and beer kick ass. 1232 01:14:08,833 --> 01:14:09,917 Yeah! Yeah! 1233 01:14:09,958 --> 01:14:14,042 We're in the Bureau of beer and fire and cigarettes. 1234 01:14:14,083 --> 01:14:15,833 And maybe some chicks, too. 1235 01:14:15,875 --> 01:14:17,542 This is gonna be cool. 1236 01:14:17,583 --> 01:14:20,917 - Uh huh huh huh. - Heh heh heh heh. 1237 01:14:28,500 --> 01:14:31,917 You know what sucks? We never scored, or got any money. 1238 01:14:31,958 --> 01:14:33,583 Yeah. Really. 1239 01:14:33,667 --> 01:14:34,750 Um... 1240 01:14:34,833 --> 01:14:36,792 And my butt's still sore, 1241 01:14:36,833 --> 01:14:38,042 and that chick with the braces... 1242 01:14:38,083 --> 01:14:40,375 Butt-head. Butt-head, look! 1243 01:14:40,417 --> 01:14:42,542 - Yes! - Yes! 1244 01:14:43,583 --> 01:14:45,500 Yes! Yes! 1245 01:14:45,542 --> 01:14:49,208 - Ohh. Ohh, yes. - Uh huh huh. 1246 01:14:49,250 --> 01:14:50,625 Oh, yeah. 1247 01:14:54,333 --> 01:14:57,750 Hey, Butt-head. Do you think we're ever gonna score? 1248 01:14:57,833 --> 01:14:59,875 Uh, I probably will. 1249 01:14:59,917 --> 01:15:02,292 But not you. Uh huh huh huh. 1250 01:15:02,333 --> 01:15:04,625 You're too much of a butt-monkey. 1251 01:15:04,667 --> 01:15:09,333 - Shut up, dill-hole. Mm heh heh. - Butt-dumpling. Uh huh huh. 1252 01:15:09,375 --> 01:15:13,792 - Turd burglar. Mm heh heh. - Uh, ass goblin. Uh huh huh. 1253 01:15:13,833 --> 01:15:15,792 Shut up, Butt-head. 1254 01:15:15,833 --> 01:15:20,292 Um, hey, doesn't Tom Anderson live on this street? 1255 01:15:20,333 --> 01:15:22,292 - Uh, yeah. - 'Cause, um... 1256 01:15:22,333 --> 01:15:26,292 I just need to stop by his tool shed for a minute. 1257 01:15:26,333 --> 01:15:28,958 Heh heh heh. You know what I'm saying? 1258 01:15:29,042 --> 01:15:31,292 Tool. Uh huh huh huh. 1259 01:15:31,333 --> 01:15:34,500 Boi-yoi-yoi-yoi-yoi-ing! 1260 01:16:13,750 --> 01:16:15,875 Lesbian Seagull 1261 01:16:15,917 --> 01:16:18,292 # Come with me 1262 01:16:18,333 --> 01:16:22,833 # Lesbian seagull 1263 01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:25,375 # Settle down and rest 1264 01:16:25,417 --> 01:16:29,125 # With me 1265 01:16:29,167 --> 01:16:31,542 # Oh, fly 1266 01:16:31,667 --> 01:16:32,708 # With me 1267 01:16:32,750 --> 01:16:36,667 # Lesbian seagull 1268 01:16:36,750 --> 01:16:39,083 # To my little nest 1269 01:16:39,125 --> 01:16:43,042 # By the sea 1270 01:16:43,125 --> 01:16:44,917 # With me 1271 01:16:44,958 --> 01:16:46,625 # That's where you belong 1272 01:16:46,667 --> 01:16:48,000 # With me 1273 01:16:48,042 --> 01:16:50,333 # I know I can be strong 1274 01:16:50,375 --> 01:16:52,083 # When you're... 1275 01:16:52,125 --> 01:16:57,625 # You're with me # 1276 01:16:59,833 --> 01:17:03,083 Ain't Nobody 1277 01:17:03,167 --> 01:17:04,250 # Oh 1278 01:17:04,292 --> 01:17:06,000 # I got visions, baby 1279 01:17:06,875 --> 01:17:08,042 # All right 1280 01:17:08,083 --> 01:17:09,667 # No directions 1281 01:17:11,083 --> 01:17:12,542 # Oh, my God 1282 01:17:16,208 --> 01:17:17,250 # You know 1283 01:17:21,583 --> 01:17:24,000 # I'm the best when it comes to making love all night 1284 01:17:24,042 --> 01:17:26,292 # Throw your butterscotch body beneath the red light 1285 01:17:26,333 --> 01:17:27,708 # Blaze it up, girl 1286 01:17:27,750 --> 01:17:29,375 # I'm gonna lace it real tight 1287 01:17:29,417 --> 01:17:31,125 # Go deep till the full moon turn to sunlight 1288 01:17:31,167 --> 01:17:33,542 # Till the darkness is gone, love remains strong 1289 01:17:33,583 --> 01:17:35,542 # Like the bond 'tween mother and child 1290 01:17:35,583 --> 01:17:37,000 # You're so warm to the touch 1291 01:17:37,042 --> 01:17:38,917 # Passionate interludes and such 1292 01:17:38,958 --> 01:17:41,042 # When you're gone, your body's what I yearn to clutch 1293 01:17:41,083 --> 01:17:43,000 # Just imagine ecstasy floating in a cloud 1294 01:17:43,042 --> 01:17:45,542 # Animal attraction burning through the crowd 1295 01:17:45,625 --> 01:17:47,208 # Heaven on earth, paradise for a price 1296 01:17:47,250 --> 01:17:48,708 # It's cool, though 1297 01:17:48,792 --> 01:17:50,417 # I'll pay you for the rest of my life 1298 01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:51,583 # Ya know why? 1299 01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:52,708 # Ain't nobody 1300 01:17:53,583 --> 01:17:55,083 # Does me better 1301 01:17:55,875 --> 01:17:57,625 # Makes me happy 1302 01:17:58,417 --> 01:18:00,750 # Makes me feel this way 1303 01:18:00,792 --> 01:18:02,500 # Ain't nobody 1304 01:18:03,208 --> 01:18:04,708 # Does me better 1305 01:18:04,750 --> 01:18:05,875 # You can take it, girl 1306 01:18:05,917 --> 01:18:07,042 # Stop running on 1307 01:18:07,083 --> 01:18:08,167 # You can take it, girl 1308 01:18:08,208 --> 01:18:09,375 # Stop running on 1309 01:18:09,417 --> 01:18:10,750 # You can take it, girl 1310 01:18:10,792 --> 01:18:11,917 # Stop running on 1311 01:18:11,958 --> 01:18:13,167 # You can take it, girl 1312 01:18:13,208 --> 01:18:14,917 # Stop running on 1313 01:18:14,958 --> 01:18:16,958 # I'm exploring your body and your erogenous zones 1314 01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:18,417 # Like a black tiger caged up 1315 01:18:18,500 --> 01:18:20,042 # Till you come home 1316 01:18:20,125 --> 01:18:21,792 # Lovely, you make a man swoon like a boy 1317 01:18:21,833 --> 01:18:23,917 # The love is so soft it gets hard to enjoy 1318 01:18:23,958 --> 01:18:26,583 # 'Cause the mind flies and sometimes the sex lies 1319 01:18:26,625 --> 01:18:28,958 # Smooth little girls fall in love with rough guys 1320 01:18:29,000 --> 01:18:31,500 # But you could chop a big heart down to pint size 1321 01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:33,958 # I guess that's what it sounds like when the dove cries 1322 01:18:34,000 --> 01:18:35,917 # The whole world is trapped up in a maze 1323 01:18:35,958 --> 01:18:38,500 # But you saved this real good lovin' for rainy days 1324 01:18:38,542 --> 01:18:40,500 # The Lord works in mysterious ways 1325 01:18:40,542 --> 01:18:42,792 # He must've put you on this Earth for all men to praise 1326 01:18:44,042 --> 01:18:46,458 # Ain't nobody 1327 01:18:46,500 --> 01:18:47,875 # Does me better 1328 01:18:48,667 --> 01:18:50,333 # Makes me happy 1329 01:18:51,000 --> 01:18:52,958 # Makes me feel this way 1330 01:18:53,000 --> 01:18:55,500 # Ain't nobody 1331 01:18:55,583 --> 01:18:57,500 # Does me better 1332 01:18:57,542 --> 01:18:58,708 # You can take it, girl 1333 01:18:58,750 --> 01:18:59,875 # Stop running on 1334 01:18:59,917 --> 01:19:01,083 # You can take it, girl 1335 01:19:01,125 --> 01:19:02,292 # Stop running on 1336 01:19:02,333 --> 01:19:03,667 # You can take it, girl 1337 01:19:03,708 --> 01:19:04,708 # Stop running on 1338 01:19:04,792 --> 01:19:05,875 # You can take it, girl 1339 01:19:05,917 --> 01:19:07,208 # Stop running on 1340 01:19:07,250 --> 01:19:08,375 # As I travel through your body 1341 01:19:08,417 --> 01:19:10,042 # Our souls become one 1342 01:19:10,125 --> 01:19:11,875 # Indivisible, oh, it's getting critical, son 1343 01:19:11,917 --> 01:19:14,292 # I'm on the run from love, it chase me out the bed 1344 01:19:14,333 --> 01:19:16,708 # Get the point, fool? You hit it right on the head 1345 01:19:16,750 --> 01:19:17,833 # lts an endless adventure 1346 01:19:17,875 --> 01:19:19,625 # Two bodies collide 1347 01:19:19,667 --> 01:19:21,833 # King fulfilling dreams with a queen by his side 1348 01:19:21,875 --> 01:19:24,083 # Forever, forever in time we intertwine 1349 01:19:24,125 --> 01:19:26,458 # Destiny, we fall in love by design 1350 01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:28,875 # What's yours is mine, and what's mine is yours 1351 01:19:28,958 --> 01:19:30,625 # The road less travelled is ours to explore 1352 01:19:30,708 --> 01:19:32,000 # I adore you 1353 01:19:32,083 --> 01:19:33,333 # Heavenly angel shining light 1354 01:19:33,375 --> 01:19:34,917 # Hold my hand 1355 01:19:34,958 --> 01:19:36,708 # I'll be your guide through the night 1356 01:19:36,750 --> 01:19:37,875 # Ain't nobody 1357 01:19:38,958 --> 01:19:41,417 # Does me better 1358 01:19:41,458 --> 01:19:42,542 # Makes me happy 1359 01:19:43,833 --> 01:19:45,792 # Makes me feel this way 1360 01:19:46,667 --> 01:19:47,875 # Ain't nobody 1361 01:19:48,958 --> 01:19:50,125 # Does me better 1362 01:19:50,167 --> 01:19:51,250 # You can take it, girl 1363 01:19:51,292 --> 01:19:52,417 # Stop running on 1364 01:19:52,458 --> 01:19:53,667 # You can take it, girl 1365 01:19:53,708 --> 01:19:54,792 # Stop running on 1366 01:19:54,875 --> 01:19:56,000 # You can take it, girl 1367 01:19:56,042 --> 01:19:57,208 # Stop running on 1368 01:19:57,250 --> 01:19:58,375 # You can take it, girl 1369 01:19:58,417 --> 01:19:59,542 # Stop running on 1370 01:19:59,583 --> 01:20:00,708 # You can take it, girl 1371 01:20:00,750 --> 01:20:01,875 # Stop running on 1372 01:20:01,917 --> 01:20:03,333 # You can take it, girl 1373 01:20:03,375 --> 01:20:04,500 # Stop running on 1374 01:20:04,542 --> 01:20:05,708 # You can take it, girl 1375 01:20:05,750 --> 01:20:06,875 # Stop running on 1376 01:20:06,917 --> 01:20:08,417 # You can take it, girl 1377 01:20:08,500 --> 01:20:09,667 # Stop running on 1378 01:20:09,708 --> 01:20:11,042 # Come on now 1379 01:20:11,083 --> 01:20:12,792 # A man don't choose a woman, 1380 01:20:12,833 --> 01:20:14,333 # A woman chooses a man 1381 01:20:14,417 --> 01:20:15,667 # 1382 01:20:15,750 --> 01:20:17,167 # Give you half for a second 1383 01:20:17,208 --> 01:20:19,083 # Then I'll give you the full plunge 1384 01:20:20,583 --> 01:20:22,042 # What you want? What you want? 1385 01:20:22,125 --> 01:20:24,792 # Iced champagne brings up the scenery 1386 01:20:24,833 --> 01:20:26,000 # Now me? 1387 01:20:26,042 --> 01:20:28,000 # Just bananas 1388 01:20:28,042 --> 01:20:29,542 # I know 1389 01:20:29,583 --> 01:20:31,958 # Ain't nobody 1390 01:20:32,000 --> 01:20:33,333 # Does me better 1391 01:20:34,417 --> 01:20:35,542 # Makes me happy 1392 01:20:36,875 --> 01:20:39,167 # Makes me feel this way... # 97266