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t.me/@Abolix
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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Hello, Sedona!
3
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Hello.
4
00:00:59,562 --> 00:01:00,773
Oh, my God.
5
00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:02,638
The sunsets out here.
6
00:01:03,985 --> 00:01:06,554
Oh, are they gorgeous or what?
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Okay, let's get to it.
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This evening, we're going to start
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with what we know is real.
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The present.
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The now.
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I want you to take a deep breath
13
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and say to yourself,
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"I am in the now."
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Do it.
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Let's say it together.
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- I am in the now.
- I am in
18
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- the now.
- Good.
19
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That's how I start every morning.
20
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I look in the mirror.
I say hi to myself.
21
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,648
You do it. Say hi to yourself.
22
00:01:42,882 --> 00:01:45,039
- Hi.
- This is your best friend.
23
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I touch the mirror.
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Yes, I touch myself.
25
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Yeah.
26
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I tell myself,
27
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"You are my number one priority."
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You do it. Tell yourself,
29
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"You are my number one priority."
30
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You are my number one priority.
31
00:02:01,634 --> 00:02:02,802
"I love you."
32
00:02:02,827 --> 00:02:04,496
Do it. Say it.
33
00:02:04,521 --> 00:02:07,232
- Say to yourself, "I love you."
- Uh...
34
00:02:07,257 --> 00:02:08,257
Oh, shit.
35
00:02:08,282 --> 00:02:10,973
- Oh! Oh, God. Sorry.
- Mom!
36
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How did you get in here?
37
00:02:12,485 --> 00:02:15,054
Well, I've got a key, honey.
I bought this place.
38
00:02:16,056 --> 00:02:17,616
Well, knock.
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00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:19,875
How do you like this outfit?
40
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Looks beautiful.
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- It's nice. I...
- Are you gonna be long?
42
00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:26,171
No, Mother.
I'm not gonna be much longer.
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Take your time.
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00:02:32,079 --> 00:02:33,747
- No.
- Oh, that's terrible.
45
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- Hi, Chip.
- Oh.
46
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Hey, honey.
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We're right in the
middle of gown shopping
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for the wedding.
49
00:02:40,235 --> 00:02:42,571
Hey, there was a sale,
and I got you something.
50
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Whoo-hoo.
51
00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:45,484
Try it on. I think you'll like it.
52
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I'll be right back, girls.
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- Thanks, Mom.
- Okay.
54
00:02:48,259 --> 00:02:49,789
- Hi there.
- Hi, ladies.
55
00:02:49,814 --> 00:02:53,062
You know, between her place
and the rodeo and your place,
56
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:55,679
Christine has a bathroom
everywhere in town.
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00:02:55,704 --> 00:02:56,704
Yeah.
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00:02:59,117 --> 00:03:02,015
Oh, beautiful apartment, Chip.
59
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:03,656
Oh, thank you. It's actually a condo.
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- Oh...
- Oh...
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00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:07,726
Christine has been telling us
62
00:03:07,751 --> 00:03:10,187
what a good little helper
you've been at the rodeo.
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00:03:10,455 --> 00:03:11,750
You're up, Joan.
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00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:12,796
Oh, good.
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00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:17,359
- Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, you look so cute.
66
00:03:17,493 --> 00:03:18,906
Are you ready for school?
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00:03:19,235 --> 00:03:21,085
That's what it reminds me of.
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00:03:21,223 --> 00:03:23,859
Oh, I miss you.
You know, that house we're in,
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it's so big and lonesome.
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00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:29,187
Why don't we all get together
for dinner on Sunday?
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00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:32,533
We'll go to that Chinese
place by the Crystal Palace.
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00:03:32,558 --> 00:03:34,890
I'll look at my work schedule.
Maybe I can pencil something in.
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00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,703
- I think it would be so much fun.
- Yeah.
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00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,226
Remember all the
dinners we used to have?
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We never went to dinners.
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Well, we wanted to.
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- Your turn.
- Oh, good.
78
00:03:44,196 --> 00:03:46,406
Oh. How 'bout those knobs?
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Oh, my God, they were gorgeous.
80
00:03:48,392 --> 00:03:51,261
- You just passing through?
- Maggie! Let's go.
81
00:03:51,286 --> 00:03:53,210
Big Gowns is gonna close.
82
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- Honey, there's no TP in there.
- Oh, my God.
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00:03:55,150 --> 00:03:56,859
Oh, God, you'll have to go over there.
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- I cannot miss this place.
- Bye, Chip.
85
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,140
- It's my favorite.
- Let's go. Bye, honey.
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00:04:00,165 --> 00:04:01,201
Bye, honey.
87
00:04:01,226 --> 00:04:02,523
Bye, Mom. Thanks for stopping by
88
00:04:02,548 --> 00:04:03,696
and using my toilet.
89
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:06,734
- Sarah!
- Mom...
90
00:04:08,355 --> 00:04:10,289
Hey, princess, come on.
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00:04:10,314 --> 00:04:12,249
I'm talking to my
daughter, Nicole, not you.
92
00:04:12,274 --> 00:04:14,421
You can just push that
copper tubing to the side.
93
00:04:14,446 --> 00:04:16,125
- Yep, like that.
- Dale,
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00:04:16,188 --> 00:04:18,326
Sarah's failed her
last two history exams.
95
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,406
Well, who cares? I mean,
the California school system,
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00:04:20,431 --> 00:04:22,812
all they teach you about is
that we came from chimpanzees,
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00:04:22,837 --> 00:04:24,085
and about sharing.
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I'll learn her.
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I'll make sure she's learned.
100
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Right, Sarah?
101
00:04:29,711 --> 00:04:31,968
Uh, can we just go?
102
00:04:32,323 --> 00:04:34,445
- We're gonna go.
- It's that phone.
103
00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:35,679
If she didn't spend so much time
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00:04:35,704 --> 00:04:36,859
taking pictures of herself on it...
105
00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:38,321
I am not always taking
pictures of myself.
106
00:04:38,346 --> 00:04:39,703
Mom's just being a total bitch.
107
00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:41,765
- Do not talk to me like that.
- Yeah, well,
108
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I'm living with Dad now, so you
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- can't tell me what to do.
- Ooh.
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00:04:44,290 --> 00:04:46,703
- I'm done.
- Emojis are just popular now.
111
00:04:46,728 --> 00:04:48,546
You have to live with it. Hey, sweetie.
112
00:04:48,571 --> 00:04:50,109
You want to come live with Daddy, too?
113
00:04:50,493 --> 00:04:51,493
No.
114
00:04:54,179 --> 00:04:56,586
The youngest is always
the most disappointing.
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00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:59,813
♪ I drink one for my baby ♪
116
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♪ Who is long gone... ♪
117
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,978
Uh, the guy that lives
in that RV right there,
118
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,486
his name is Walter Scruggs.
119
00:05:04,586 --> 00:05:06,228
He's a very interesting man.
120
00:05:07,081 --> 00:05:10,330
And, uh, that's our place right there.
121
00:05:10,864 --> 00:05:11,864
That's our RV.
122
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:14,424
Are we in a trailer park?
123
00:05:14,730 --> 00:05:18,259
Uh... well, that's one way
of looking at it, yes.
124
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Great.
125
00:05:21,186 --> 00:05:22,338
Well, I'd love to show you the place.
126
00:05:22,363 --> 00:05:24,009
It smells just like Febreze,
so you'll love it.
127
00:05:24,034 --> 00:05:25,034
Come on in.
128
00:05:29,878 --> 00:05:31,613
Dad, the lights don't even work.
129
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:32,916
Hold on.
130
00:05:32,941 --> 00:05:35,986
I run my lights on clean,
off-the-grid diesel.
131
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:39,342
They on?
132
00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,368
Yeah.
133
00:05:44,692 --> 00:05:46,525
Pretty cool space in there, isn't it?
134
00:05:46,999 --> 00:05:48,228
Yeah, pretty cool.
135
00:05:48,994 --> 00:05:51,111
You know the voice
that plays inside your head...
136
00:05:51,136 --> 00:05:53,025
What you like, what you dislike?
137
00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:54,869
Where do you think that voice came from?
138
00:05:54,894 --> 00:05:57,766
Is it really you, or is it your mom?
139
00:05:57,994 --> 00:05:59,593
Or it could be your sister or brother.
140
00:05:59,619 --> 00:06:02,603
It could be you but when
you were nine years old.
141
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:04,939
Now, would you take advice
from a nine-year-old?
142
00:06:06,357 --> 00:06:08,736
These voices make a map.
Go left, go right.
143
00:06:08,761 --> 00:06:11,252
Avoid this situation,
take that situation.
144
00:06:11,908 --> 00:06:14,283
But it's not even your map.
145
00:06:14,822 --> 00:06:17,650
So what we're going to do is
we're going to build a new you,
146
00:06:17,675 --> 00:06:21,400
a new map, by bringing
all of you into the present.
147
00:06:21,425 --> 00:06:23,134
No more voices from the past.
148
00:06:23,159 --> 00:06:24,968
We're gonna go a different way.
149
00:06:26,089 --> 00:06:27,533
Oh, hey, Chrysanthemum.
150
00:06:31,860 --> 00:06:33,947
- Gosh. Hey, Martha.
- Hey, Chip.
151
00:06:34,198 --> 00:06:35,572
Um, could I ask you a question?
152
00:06:36,493 --> 00:06:38,079
How would you describe me?
153
00:06:38,863 --> 00:06:39,863
Hmm.
154
00:06:39,888 --> 00:06:42,462
Uh, male, white...
155
00:06:43,587 --> 00:06:45,180
... uh, swarthy.
156
00:06:45,205 --> 00:06:46,822
About five-two.
157
00:06:46,847 --> 00:06:48,712
- Five-two?
- Yeah.
158
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:50,767
Martha, I'm five-eight and a quarter.
159
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:53,345
My God, get your eyesight checked.
160
00:06:53,370 --> 00:06:54,962
I don't mean physically, I mean, like...
161
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,806
what is the energy that I put out there?
162
00:06:58,276 --> 00:07:02,047
Oh, you're listening to Tammy's
Live in Sedona, aren't you?
163
00:07:02,072 --> 00:07:04,439
- You're doing the friend quiz.
- No.
164
00:07:05,345 --> 00:07:07,533
Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am doing that.
165
00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:09,876
Okay, Chip Baskets.
166
00:07:09,901 --> 00:07:11,915
Um, he's a clown.
167
00:07:12,569 --> 00:07:15,158
A clown with a condo.
168
00:07:15,416 --> 00:07:17,720
Um, you're really good
at helping people.
169
00:07:18,217 --> 00:07:21,876
Like your mom, and
that couple with a baby, and me.
170
00:07:22,533 --> 00:07:25,447
- A helper. So I'm a helper?
- Yeah.
171
00:07:25,472 --> 00:07:27,273
That's it? I just help people?
172
00:07:27,410 --> 00:07:30,228
Like that glove on television
that helps hamburgers. Great.
173
00:07:30,782 --> 00:07:32,986
Yeah, well, Hamburger Helper has helped
174
00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:35,111
a lot of moms make dinner.
175
00:07:35,399 --> 00:07:37,095
I don't know what you want me to say.
176
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,948
- Who do you think you are?
- I guess I'm just misunderstood,
177
00:07:38,973 --> 00:07:41,002
- that's all. Thanks.
- Okay, well...
178
00:07:41,269 --> 00:07:42,502
Excuse me.
179
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:44,901
Thanks for coming by.
180
00:07:50,876 --> 00:07:52,447
God, I hate dogs.
181
00:07:52,596 --> 00:07:54,704
Any animal, any kind of animals...
where was I?
182
00:07:54,729 --> 00:07:55,877
Oh, yeah, I was telling you,
183
00:07:55,902 --> 00:07:59,354
I control the, the Wi-Fi modem
here at the RV park,
184
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:01,557
so it kind of makes me
the king of the park,
185
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:04,104
and you would be my,
my princess... hey, guys.
186
00:08:04,129 --> 00:08:05,565
Please don't call me "princess."
187
00:08:06,635 --> 00:08:07,680
These are some of my friends
188
00:08:07,705 --> 00:08:09,165
that I do a lot of my
fellowshipping with.
189
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:10,477
Uh, this is Sarah.
190
00:08:10,502 --> 00:08:12,493
- Hi.
- Wow. Nice work, Dale.
191
00:08:12,518 --> 00:08:13,526
Nice work.
192
00:08:13,551 --> 00:08:15,557
- Oh, my God.
- Wallis, she's my daughter.
193
00:08:16,549 --> 00:08:19,284
I know. Nice work parenting, whatnot.
194
00:08:20,485 --> 00:08:22,276
And, uh, right here, this is Duane.
195
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:24,657
He's got a Facebook Live page
about the end of the world.
196
00:08:24,682 --> 00:08:26,406
- It's really interesting stuff.
- Cool.
197
00:08:26,431 --> 00:08:27,713
Chinese are gonna flood it.
198
00:08:27,738 --> 00:08:29,172
Whole thing's gonna be a beach.
199
00:08:29,335 --> 00:08:31,002
Dead fish flopping all over.
200
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:32,027
Menthol?
201
00:08:32,144 --> 00:08:33,627
Uh, I don't smoke.
202
00:08:33,907 --> 00:08:35,309
Well, don't poo-poo it.
203
00:08:35,444 --> 00:08:36,812
It works out for some women.
204
00:08:36,837 --> 00:08:37,948
Keeps 'em thin.
205
00:08:39,471 --> 00:08:40,682
Cool rabbit.
206
00:08:40,707 --> 00:08:42,979
- Uh, does it have a name?
- Dinner.
207
00:08:43,994 --> 00:08:45,502
You want to see something even cooler?
208
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,698
Oh, this is my boy, Wally Jr.
209
00:08:49,205 --> 00:08:50,931
Hi. I'm-I'm Sarah.
210
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,674
- Hey.
- Uh, who's this?
211
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,284
Uh, this is Sally Sue.
212
00:08:54,309 --> 00:08:55,649
- Hi.
- You want to hold her?
213
00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:56,674
- Can I?
- Yeah.
214
00:08:56,699 --> 00:08:57,830
She'll make a little
bit of noise. She's fine.
215
00:08:57,855 --> 00:08:59,924
- Oh, my gosh.
- Yeah, just like that. That's perfect.
216
00:09:01,051 --> 00:09:02,269
Hi.
217
00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:03,696
It's okay. It's okay.
218
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,306
Um, can you take a picture of me?
219
00:09:06,331 --> 00:09:07,853
- Oh, yeah. Of course.
- Thanks.
220
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,438
- Let me see that. Is that nice?
- Yeah.
221
00:09:15,463 --> 00:09:17,649
- Oh, look at that.
- Oh, it...
222
00:09:17,674 --> 00:09:18,994
What the hell?
223
00:09:19,019 --> 00:09:20,111
No kissy-face pictures
224
00:09:20,136 --> 00:09:21,244
- with my daughter!
- Dad!
225
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,799
- Oh, my God.
- Okay?
226
00:09:23,086 --> 00:09:24,478
Keep an eye on your son.
227
00:09:24,963 --> 00:09:26,040
All right.
228
00:09:28,188 --> 00:09:31,213
- Oh, God. Bye.
- Bye.
229
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:34,400
Never forget that you exist in the now.
230
00:09:34,425 --> 00:09:37,670
So I want you to call all of
yourself back into the present,
231
00:09:37,695 --> 00:09:40,267
from all the places you've
left yourself behind.
232
00:09:40,348 --> 00:09:42,142
Now say hello to yourself.
233
00:09:42,175 --> 00:09:45,363
This is really you.
234
00:09:45,388 --> 00:09:46,388
Hello.
235
00:09:46,663 --> 00:09:48,831
And you're not going to do it alone.
236
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,723
You know I'm doing it with you.
237
00:09:50,748 --> 00:09:52,683
So everyone say it with me.
238
00:09:52,708 --> 00:09:56,472
I'm the biggest me that I can be.
239
00:09:56,497 --> 00:09:57,503
I'm the biggest
240
00:09:57,528 --> 00:09:59,114
- me that I can be.
- I'm the biggest me that I can...
241
00:09:59,139 --> 00:10:01,919
Can I help you? Whoa, okay.
No, no, no, no.
242
00:10:02,698 --> 00:10:05,000
Don't touch it. Don't touch it.
You'll make it worse.
243
00:10:06,756 --> 00:10:08,489
Is there something I
can help you with today?
244
00:10:08,813 --> 00:10:12,263
Uh, yes, I am looking for some clothes
245
00:10:12,288 --> 00:10:13,692
that'll make me look like a...
246
00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:15,783
like a real man.
247
00:10:16,263 --> 00:10:18,083
Great. Great.
248
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,458
Well, we should get out of the
children's department, then.
249
00:10:20,972 --> 00:10:21,972
Follow me.
250
00:10:28,966 --> 00:10:30,239
Okay, history lesson.
251
00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:32,399
How did America win the Revolution?
252
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:34,630
I don't know, Dad. How?
253
00:10:35,231 --> 00:10:38,114
Guns! America's greatest export.
254
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,965
Oh, yeah, guns. Guns have gotten us
255
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,653
out of a lot of trouble here.
256
00:10:41,678 --> 00:10:43,036
World War II, we used guns.
257
00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:45,380
Korea, guns. Vietnam, guns.
258
00:10:45,405 --> 00:10:47,606
Uh, Super Bowl XIII, guns. Feel that.
259
00:10:48,184 --> 00:10:50,153
- Feel it. Pick it up.
- I...
260
00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:51,958
Okay.
261
00:10:52,732 --> 00:10:53,786
Ta-da.
262
00:10:54,565 --> 00:10:57,192
You look cool as shit with
that in your arms. Do it again.
263
00:10:57,747 --> 00:10:58,747
Pick it up.
264
00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:00,356
There you go... well,
there's no bullets in it,
265
00:11:00,381 --> 00:11:02,801
but don't point it at any...
don't ever point it at anybody.
266
00:11:03,247 --> 00:11:04,247
Okay?
267
00:11:04,490 --> 00:11:08,552
Now, first thing we need to
do is fieldstrip this thing, so...
268
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:12,497
let me just, uh, take this out.
269
00:11:12,522 --> 00:11:13,722
There we go.
270
00:11:14,067 --> 00:11:16,348
And, uh, double-check, yeah,
there's no bullets in here.
271
00:11:16,373 --> 00:11:17,942
Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
272
00:11:17,967 --> 00:11:20,169
It's all jammed up.
Oh, hold on one second.
273
00:11:20,194 --> 00:11:21,809
I see what's going on here.
274
00:11:25,263 --> 00:11:26,872
Is that my phone? That's my phone.
275
00:11:27,430 --> 00:11:29,051
Oh, it's your grandmother. Hold on.
276
00:11:29,765 --> 00:11:31,892
- Hey, Mom.
- Hi, Dale. What you up to?
277
00:11:31,917 --> 00:11:33,259
I'm just teaching my
daughter life lessons.
278
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:34,689
- Why?
- I want to take the family
279
00:11:34,714 --> 00:11:36,658
to that place by the Crystal Palace.
280
00:11:36,683 --> 00:11:39,041
Is that the new place with the
chocolate chip fortune cookies?
281
00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:41,392
- Okay, we'll be there.
- See you there.
282
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:42,417
Okay, bye.
283
00:11:49,902 --> 00:11:51,142
How did you do that?
284
00:11:51,675 --> 00:11:53,421
I looked it up, Dad, on my phone.
285
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,720
- Ooh. Uh...
- Give me that.
286
00:11:55,408 --> 00:11:56,725
What the hell?
287
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:57,869
I want to teach you!
288
00:11:57,894 --> 00:12:00,251
This is about father-daughter bonding!
289
00:12:00,427 --> 00:12:01,478
Oh, my God.
290
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:05,470
Goddamn it.
291
00:12:07,570 --> 00:12:08,570
Hey.
292
00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,361
Uh... Hey.
293
00:12:15,063 --> 00:12:16,837
Turns out it was loaded.
294
00:12:17,311 --> 00:12:20,001
As human beings,
we are uniquely equipped
295
00:12:20,026 --> 00:12:22,128
to take ownership and responsibility
296
00:12:22,153 --> 00:12:24,181
of the life we lead.
297
00:12:24,313 --> 00:12:25,822
We have choice.
298
00:12:25,847 --> 00:12:27,522
We have free will.
299
00:12:28,126 --> 00:12:29,461
You might have a pet dog...
300
00:12:29,486 --> 00:12:30,789
Hi, Reverend Kwon.
301
00:12:30,814 --> 00:12:32,712
- Hi, Reverend Kwon. Sorry.
- Oh. Oh, hey.
302
00:12:32,737 --> 00:12:35,424
Hey. Chip, you are looking really sharp.
303
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,490
- Oh, thanks.
- Yeah.
304
00:12:37,775 --> 00:12:39,408
What's a church youth conference?
305
00:12:39,712 --> 00:12:40,892
This is You Alive.
306
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,970
Evangelical youths from-from
all over the Central Valley,
307
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:45,006
they come here to find a
deeper fellowship with Christ.
308
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,728
Oh, that sounds like a blast.
309
00:12:46,753 --> 00:12:47,776
Best three days of my life.
310
00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:49,968
H-How are ticket sales?
311
00:12:50,184 --> 00:12:52,431
Oh, uh, really, really good.
312
00:12:52,456 --> 00:12:54,705
Like, we have probably 2,000 people...
313
00:12:55,306 --> 00:12:56,345
... who have applied.
314
00:12:56,370 --> 00:12:58,517
- We haven't finalized all...
- Whoa, whoa, hold on a second.
315
00:12:59,771 --> 00:13:02,822
That sounds like something you
might need to rent an arena for.
316
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:08,212
Oh. Well, we were thinking
about the Marriott.
317
00:13:08,237 --> 00:13:09,705
Marriott? No, no, no, no, no.
318
00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,566
Uh, Marriotts are owned by Mormons.
319
00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,660
- I did not know that.
- This is a really good deal.
320
00:13:13,685 --> 00:13:15,884
- It's got Wi-Fi. It's got, uh...
- You have Wi-Fi?
321
00:13:15,909 --> 00:13:17,072
Yeah. Yeah.
322
00:13:17,274 --> 00:13:18,608
Genderless bathrooms.
323
00:13:19,384 --> 00:13:21,423
Oh. Let's talk.
324
00:13:21,579 --> 00:13:23,814
Very good. I'll see you around.
325
00:13:34,362 --> 00:13:37,533
Oh, smell that Spring & Renewal.
326
00:13:37,558 --> 00:13:40,173
Mm. That's my favorite Febreze.
327
00:13:40,829 --> 00:13:43,330
Oh, that was a good sleep,
wasn't it, Sar-bear?
328
00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:46,494
Mm. Sar?
329
00:13:47,028 --> 00:13:48,028
Hey, Sarah?
330
00:13:48,223 --> 00:13:49,540
Let's get up, sweetheart.
331
00:13:53,994 --> 00:13:54,994
Sarah?
332
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,039
Hey!
333
00:14:00,619 --> 00:14:02,070
Amber Alert!
334
00:14:02,095 --> 00:14:04,367
Dale, what's up with the Wi-Fi?
335
00:14:04,392 --> 00:14:05,778
I'm in the middle of a live feed.
336
00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,165
Well, I'm in the middle
of an Amber Alert.
337
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:10,001
No Wi-Fi. No pornography
until we find my daughter.
338
00:14:10,026 --> 00:14:11,712
- I saw your daughter.
- Where?
339
00:14:12,298 --> 00:14:14,017
She's off playing with Wally Jr.
340
00:14:14,042 --> 00:14:15,509
They're messing around in the tub.
341
00:14:17,189 --> 00:14:18,665
In the tub?
342
00:14:19,643 --> 00:14:20,649
Sarah!
343
00:14:22,286 --> 00:14:23,361
Yeah, that's so good.
344
00:14:24,618 --> 00:14:25,618
Yeah. Perfect.
345
00:14:25,643 --> 00:14:27,165
Okay, maybe put your leg up on the...
346
00:14:27,190 --> 00:14:28,190
Oh, okay.
347
00:14:28,609 --> 00:14:30,384
And, like, over
the shoulder a little bit.
348
00:14:30,409 --> 00:14:32,712
Yeah, perfect. That's so good.
349
00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:35,320
Step away from the princess, you pauper!
350
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:37,533
Jesus! Dad, put the gun down.
351
00:14:37,558 --> 00:14:40,155
- Put the gun down? Are you crazy?
- Are you crazy?
352
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,181
- What's going on here?!
- It's just pictures, man.
353
00:14:42,206 --> 00:14:43,915
- "Just pictures"? Get down!
- You know? Yeah, Instagra...
354
00:14:43,940 --> 00:14:45,306
- It's just Instagram.
- Get down!
355
00:14:48,291 --> 00:14:50,314
Dad. Dad.
356
00:14:51,369 --> 00:14:53,095
I don't understand all this.
357
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,775
You're taking pictures of my daughter.
358
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:55,800
Yeah.
359
00:14:55,825 --> 00:14:57,806
Look how scantily clad she is, huh?
360
00:14:58,908 --> 00:15:00,233
What do you think about that, son?
361
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,531
- Geez.
- Huh?
362
00:15:01,556 --> 00:15:02,845
- Pretty good. Oh!
- Give me this phone.
363
00:15:02,870 --> 00:15:04,881
This phone has caused
nothing but trouble
364
00:15:04,913 --> 00:15:06,541
Whoa, what the hell, man?
365
00:15:06,622 --> 00:15:08,256
Shit.
366
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:10,477
Goddamn it.
367
00:15:10,502 --> 00:15:11,635
I'm pretty sure you can just put it
368
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,034
in a bag of rice or something.
369
00:15:13,934 --> 00:15:14,934
I've heard that works.
370
00:15:14,959 --> 00:15:15,959
You know what else is good
371
00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:16,995
- for these phones?
- No, Dad.
372
00:15:18,728 --> 00:15:20,160
Are you crazy?
373
00:15:25,776 --> 00:15:27,660
Okay. Put your clothes on.
374
00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,127
We got to go to a Chinese restaurant.
375
00:15:29,152 --> 00:15:30,152
Let's go.
376
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,080
Take responsibility...
377
00:15:33,237 --> 00:15:36,403
Hello. I'm here for
the, uh, Baskets party.
378
00:15:36,428 --> 00:15:37,682
- Hey, Chip.
- Yeah.
379
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:40,229
- Hey.
- Hey, Martha.
380
00:15:40,995 --> 00:15:42,151
- Hey.
- What are you doing here?
381
00:15:42,176 --> 00:15:43,176
Do you work here?
382
00:15:43,201 --> 00:15:44,885
I don't. Your mom invited me.
383
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:46,276
You're all dolled up.
384
00:15:46,468 --> 00:15:48,815
Just, uh, I don't know.
I just thought I'd put some...
385
00:15:48,840 --> 00:15:51,338
Oh, you're still listening
to the Tammy stuff.
386
00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:53,588
- I like it.
- Yeah, I mean...
387
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:55,721
- it's for entertainment.
- The new Chip.
388
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,315
You look really grown-up.
389
00:15:58,183 --> 00:15:59,784
Thanks. Thanks, Martha.
390
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,338
- Well, you ready for some Chinese food?
- Sure.
391
00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,906
How are you with chopsticks?
392
00:16:03,931 --> 00:16:05,784
No. Brought my own fork.
393
00:16:05,914 --> 00:16:08,659
Oh, is this like the lobsters
where you get to pick 'em out,
394
00:16:08,684 --> 00:16:11,205
- then you get to eat 'em?
- I don't think these are for cooking.
395
00:16:11,230 --> 00:16:14,433
Oh, what a shame.
They look so delicious.
396
00:16:14,544 --> 00:16:15,544
Monica, listen to me.
397
00:16:15,569 --> 00:16:18,205
Just make sure that it's not
the stain-repellent chemicals
398
00:16:18,230 --> 00:16:19,534
that's causing the problems.
399
00:16:19,890 --> 00:16:21,307
Ken, get off the phone.
400
00:16:21,332 --> 00:16:23,791
- We're gonna have dinner.
- Honey, gotta go. Walking in to dinner.
401
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,878
- Sorry, Christine.
- Let's go.
402
00:16:24,903 --> 00:16:26,628
The girls are having a
little carpet problem
403
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:27,761
- they got to deal with.
- Okay.
404
00:16:27,786 --> 00:16:29,394
Oh, Chip, Martha,
405
00:16:29,419 --> 00:16:30,821
you're here early.
406
00:16:30,846 --> 00:16:32,363
Well, time is money, Mom.
407
00:16:32,486 --> 00:16:34,394
- Isn't that the truth?
- Hello.
408
00:16:34,419 --> 00:16:36,050
Oh, thank you, Ken.
409
00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:38,475
Chip, like the suit.
410
00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:39,511
Thank you, sir.
411
00:16:39,536 --> 00:16:41,449
Got a new clown act up your sleeve?
412
00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:43,050
Well, just, uh...
413
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:46,582
You know, Chip's always
dressed up in funny outfits.
414
00:16:46,607 --> 00:16:48,769
When he was younger,
I came home one time,
415
00:16:48,794 --> 00:16:50,972
and he had my bra on his head,
416
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:54,152
and he was pretending
he was a praying mantis.
417
00:16:54,457 --> 00:16:56,391
It was your panties on my head.
418
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,683
- Oh.
- I'm just turning over a new leaf.
419
00:16:57,708 --> 00:16:59,910
- That's all.
- Oh, honey, good for you.
420
00:17:00,046 --> 00:17:01,047
Hey everybody.
421
00:17:01,072 --> 00:17:04,558
Oh, my businessman son.
422
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,854
Oh, God, you're getting so tall.
423
00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:09,441
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
424
00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:11,409
Nice monkey suit, stupid.
425
00:17:12,807 --> 00:17:16,097
I, uh, have a money
question for you, Dale.
426
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:17,339
Mom, you can ask me.
427
00:17:17,571 --> 00:17:19,190
Honey, if I had a clown question,
428
00:17:19,215 --> 00:17:21,684
I'd ask you because
that's your expertise.
429
00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:23,918
Hi. Do you know
what you'd like to drink?
430
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,089
Well, we just got here.
I'm all discombobulated,
431
00:17:26,114 --> 00:17:29,073
and the-the menu's in...
half of it's in Chinese,
432
00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:32,393
so I don't know what to do here. Mm-kay.
433
00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,418
I'm ready to order.
434
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,550
I'm gonna have chicken fried rice,
435
00:17:36,034 --> 00:17:38,073
and I'm gonna have, uh,
436
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,058
- kung pao chicken.
- Mom, mom, mom.
437
00:17:40,083 --> 00:17:41,825
- I think it's just the drinks.
- Huh?
438
00:17:41,850 --> 00:17:43,792
- Oh, I got ahead of myself.
- Sorry, Christine.
439
00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,276
- I have to take this.
- What?
440
00:17:45,301 --> 00:17:46,308
Monica.
441
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:48,026
No, no, don't sign nothing
442
00:17:48,051 --> 00:17:50,737
until you double-check the inventory.
443
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,440
- What the hell's that about?
- What?
444
00:17:52,675 --> 00:17:54,716
- Carpet, honey.
- My God.
445
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:56,198
Does he have to make such a scene?
446
00:17:56,861 --> 00:17:57,861
Uncle Chip?
447
00:17:57,886 --> 00:17:59,587
- Yes?
- Can I borrow your phone?
448
00:17:59,612 --> 00:18:01,300
- For what reason?
- Don't do that.
449
00:18:01,325 --> 00:18:02,964
All she's gonna do is take
pictures of her titties
450
00:18:02,989 --> 00:18:04,362
- and put it on Twitter.
- Dad.
451
00:18:04,387 --> 00:18:05,792
- Well, that's the truth.
- Don't say...
452
00:18:05,817 --> 00:18:07,406
- that at the table.
- You might as well call it "Twitties."
453
00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:08,431
Oh, my God.
454
00:18:08,541 --> 00:18:11,099
Um, anyway, uh, I just want his phone
455
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,953
so I can call Mom to
tell her to pick me up.
456
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,460
I want to go home.
457
00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:19,140
Call... call your mom?
458
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:21,538
But I thought you hated your mom.
459
00:18:21,563 --> 00:18:23,098
Yeah, well, I want to see her again,
460
00:18:23,123 --> 00:18:25,695
and... you know what? She's not insane
461
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,874
- and living in a trailer park.
- It is not a trailer park.
462
00:18:28,899 --> 00:18:31,086
I told you that. Those are
good Americans living there.
463
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,641
- Come on, you guys.
- They tried to get me to smoke.
464
00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:34,156
- Who did?
- I'll have a Tom Collins, please.
465
00:18:34,181 --> 00:18:35,906
- You're missing the point.
- What am I missing?
466
00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:37,156
I-I'm not missing anything.
467
00:18:37,181 --> 00:18:38,181
- Do you know what?
- Sir, do you...
468
00:18:38,206 --> 00:18:39,361
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna have a hamburger
469
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:40,416
with jack cheese, please.
470
00:18:40,441 --> 00:18:41,441
- I'm sorr...
- Hold the onions. I'll have
471
00:18:41,466 --> 00:18:43,894
- double the pickles.
- We don't have hamburgers here.
472
00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:46,081
You don't have hamburgers in America?
473
00:18:46,106 --> 00:18:48,237
It's a Chinese restaurant, Dale.
474
00:18:48,262 --> 00:18:50,487
Yeah, but why do I have to
kowtow to their culture?
475
00:18:50,811 --> 00:18:51,811
Why is that?
476
00:18:51,836 --> 00:18:54,060
- Just get some moo shu, honey.
- I don't want moo shu, Mom.
477
00:18:54,085 --> 00:18:56,234
- You love moo shu.
- I don't... I don't love moo shu.
478
00:18:56,259 --> 00:18:58,859
He'll have the moo shu pork.
You loved that as a kid.
479
00:18:58,884 --> 00:19:00,820
I don't want any moo shu.
No moo shu.
480
00:19:00,845 --> 00:19:02,812
None. I don't want any moo shu.
481
00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,852
- Put down moo shu.
- I don't want moo shu.
482
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,655
- It's the principle of the matter.
- Dad.
483
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,804
I mean, at Willy's Wontons,
you can order a goddamn corn dog.
484
00:19:08,829 --> 00:19:11,007
- Dale.
- Willy's Wonton?
485
00:19:11,032 --> 00:19:13,296
- Sit down.
- Oh, my God.
486
00:19:13,900 --> 00:19:16,843
Um, I'll have the
Grandma's Soup Noodles.
487
00:19:17,418 --> 00:19:19,632
Yeah, hello? Yeah, hey.
488
00:19:19,657 --> 00:19:20,830
Can I get a cheeseburger?
489
00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,345
- Is that possible?
- Hey, Dale, Dale, Dale.
490
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,752
Listen. Breathe.
491
00:19:24,436 --> 00:19:25,436
Breathe.
492
00:19:25,461 --> 00:19:27,244
- Wha...?
- Repeat after me.
493
00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,502
Uh, say it with me.
494
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,536
Uh...
495
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:33,720
- I am in the now.
- What are you doing?
496
00:19:33,745 --> 00:19:36,166
Look, you're in the kitchen, okay?
497
00:19:36,191 --> 00:19:37,725
Your family's out there.
498
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,322
We need to bring all
of you into the now.
499
00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:42,424
Look, I'm tired of the
influx of immigrants
500
00:19:42,449 --> 00:19:43,689
coming into this country
that don't know how
501
00:19:43,714 --> 00:19:45,033
to make a cheeseburger.
502
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,408
I mean, am I... am I crazy
for-for being like that?
503
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:48,916
I think you're just getting frustrated
504
00:19:48,941 --> 00:19:50,072
with your anger at your daughter.
505
00:19:50,097 --> 00:19:51,627
You're taking it out on the immigrants.
506
00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:53,754
Uh, I'm from Modesto.
507
00:19:53,849 --> 00:19:55,658
- I'm so sorry.
- Where's that?
508
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:57,572
It's up in the Bay Area.
509
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,767
Look, Dale.
510
00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:00,791
He's, like, a San Francisco type of guy.
511
00:20:02,156 --> 00:20:03,156
Dale, look.
512
00:20:03,181 --> 00:20:04,822
Everybody that you love is here.
513
00:20:05,813 --> 00:20:07,728
Just order the moo shu.
514
00:20:07,941 --> 00:20:09,220
Okay? Let's go have dinner.
515
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,588
Could you just figure it out, please?
516
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,082
Chinese cheese is fine.
517
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,717
I'm sorry.
518
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,455
Can you make him a burger?
519
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,416
You got too much facial
hair to be in here.
520
00:20:35,072 --> 00:20:36,416
Ken, you ever been to China?
521
00:20:36,441 --> 00:20:37,502
No.
522
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:38,619
Me, neither.
523
00:20:43,502 --> 00:20:45,580
Oh, hey.
524
00:20:45,989 --> 00:20:47,822
So sorry about...
525
00:20:48,276 --> 00:20:50,278
our family uproar.
526
00:20:54,523 --> 00:20:57,033
- Here you go, honey. Call your mom.
- Thank you.
527
00:20:58,830 --> 00:21:00,478
Look, I think I...
528
00:21:01,112 --> 00:21:03,877
I think I'm just upset, uh, because...
529
00:21:03,902 --> 00:21:06,533
Sarah, I... you know, I was excited.
530
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,954
It's just, I'm just sad
that you're leaving.
531
00:21:08,979 --> 00:21:11,275
That's all. I'm just
temperamental about it.
532
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,337
Well, that runs in our family, honey.
533
00:21:13,362 --> 00:21:15,009
I just don't think anybody loves me.
534
00:21:15,034 --> 00:21:17,070
- Oh, honey.
- Dad, okay...
535
00:21:18,150 --> 00:21:20,040
People love you.
536
00:21:20,512 --> 00:21:22,514
Can you hand this over to him?
537
00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,275
- Here, honey.
- Here, Dad.
538
00:21:25,265 --> 00:21:26,265
What's that?
539
00:21:26,876 --> 00:21:29,025
- It's for your face.
- Oh. Yes.
540
00:21:33,603 --> 00:21:34,603
There you go.
541
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:35,761
Happy?
542
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:37,720
There you go.
543
00:21:37,745 --> 00:21:39,486
That's love right there.
544
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:42,201
That looks interesting.
545
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:45,837
Wish I would have got that now.
546
00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:47,915
Hmm. It's not bad.
547
00:21:47,940 --> 00:21:49,298
- Oh, good.
- What's that little grin
548
00:21:49,323 --> 00:21:51,111
- you got on your face there, huh?
- Sorry.
549
00:21:51,136 --> 00:21:53,992
Hey. Don't be rude, Dale.
550
00:21:54,017 --> 00:21:55,790
I was smiling 'cause
you got your burger.
551
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,900
That's why I was smiling.
I was happy about it.
552
00:21:57,925 --> 00:21:59,227
Show some manners.
553
00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:01,087
What are we, savages here?
554
00:22:01,563 --> 00:22:04,095
Chip, thank you for saving dinner.
555
00:22:04,120 --> 00:22:06,134
- Yeah. Yes.
- Let's have a toast to Chip.
556
00:22:06,906 --> 00:22:08,441
- Okay.
- Yeah.
557
00:22:08,466 --> 00:22:10,157
- Chip.
- Toast, Dale.
558
00:22:10,182 --> 00:22:11,743
Toast your brother.
559
00:22:15,056 --> 00:22:16,669
Well, he gave you a burger toast, honey.
560
00:22:16,694 --> 00:22:17,767
- I'm sorry.
- That'll work.
561
00:22:19,056 --> 00:22:20,523
Well, that was tons of fun.
562
00:22:20,548 --> 00:22:22,532
- Yeah.
- Do you mind driving me to the rodeo?
563
00:22:22,557 --> 00:22:24,985
I got some contracts that
I need you to fill out.
564
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:27,446
Wow, you really are five-eight.
565
00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,165
I'm five-eight and a quarter.
566
00:22:29,190 --> 00:22:32,093
I need to get on a flight to
Denver as soon as possible.
567
00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:34,399
I want you to go with me.
568
00:22:34,424 --> 00:22:36,759
Oh. Um...
569
00:22:37,477 --> 00:22:39,291
Yeah, can I get some
ranch dressing, please?
570
00:22:39,325 --> 00:22:40,673
For the third time.
571
00:22:43,381 --> 00:22:44,712
Okay, I'll go.
572
00:22:45,759 --> 00:22:47,800
Thank you for the moo shu.
573
00:22:48,152 --> 00:22:49,152
Because the truth is
574
00:22:49,177 --> 00:22:51,102
each and every one of you is as special
575
00:22:51,127 --> 00:22:54,048
and unique as that glorious sunset.
576
00:22:54,182 --> 00:22:57,519
You don't need to convince
anyone who you are.
577
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:00,102
That's right.
578
00:23:02,078 --> 00:23:03,078
Ow!
579
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:06,582
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
41508
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