Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:51,406 --> 00:00:52,273
Fuego del culo.
2
00:00:53,084 --> 00:00:56,074
Girl, if it itches, it's crap.
3
00:01:09,788 --> 00:01:10,373
Hey, girl.
4
00:01:10,659 --> 00:01:11,877
Want some brown liquor?
5
00:01:12,091 --> 00:01:13,892
Brown liquor don't make this pussy pop.
6
00:01:14,264 --> 00:01:15,490
Tequila it is.
7
00:01:16,050 --> 00:01:17,050
Here you go.
8
00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:18,510
Mmm.
9
00:01:21,150 --> 00:01:22,150
Viva la revolution!
10
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:25,650
Now that shit right there make a pussy pop
on a handstand.
11
00:01:26,230 --> 00:01:27,530
So what are you doing here anyway?
12
00:01:27,550 --> 00:01:29,330
What you think I'm doing here?
13
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:31,610
I'm starring in the opening scene.
14
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Been there, done that.
15
00:01:34,250 --> 00:01:35,290
Pick up the phone!
16
00:01:35,510 --> 00:01:36,510
Pick up the phone!
17
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:37,350
Richie?
18
00:01:37,490 --> 00:01:37,890
Tiana.
19
00:01:38,150 --> 00:01:39,150
Hey.
20
00:01:39,254 --> 00:01:40,537
You know, I thought
it'd be easier for the
21
00:01:40,538 --> 00:01:42,350
audience if they didn't
have to read more texts.
22
00:01:42,590 --> 00:01:43,390
Yeah, that makes sense.
23
00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:45,310
Cause you know these motherfuckers can't
read.
24
00:01:45,779 --> 00:01:48,150
I know who goes to see a Way's Brothers
movie.
25
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:51,990
Well, it's nice to phone meet you in this
super awkward way.
26
00:01:52,550 --> 00:01:52,970
Likewise.
27
00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:54,270
But I gotta be honest.
28
00:01:54,370 --> 00:01:58,130
When I seen your profile pic, a bitch almost
swiped left because you look mad goofy.
29
00:01:58,739 --> 00:02:01,730
But surprisingly, you know, them goofy
niggas got big dick.
30
00:02:01,890 --> 00:02:03,030
So, here we are.
31
00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,530
I take you for a Jersey girl.
32
00:02:04,770 --> 00:02:05,770
A Jersey girl?
33
00:02:06,110 --> 00:02:07,870
Listen, I love Jersey down.
34
00:02:08,190 --> 00:02:09,190
But I'm a Harlem girl.
35
00:02:09,289 --> 00:02:10,630
Born and motherfucking raised.
36
00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:11,870
Real niggas only.
37
00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:12,290
Yeah.
38
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,110
Oh, so you're black.
39
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,320
No, motherfucker.
40
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:18,670
I'm black.
41
00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:20,490
All cats.
42
00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,010
No cat.
43
00:02:22,110 --> 00:02:23,110
The cats.
44
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
Fuck all y'all.
45
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:28,210
Bitch, spit them pearls back out.
46
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:30,760
I want your shit.
47
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:32,990
Hello?
48
00:02:33,210 --> 00:02:34,210
So, tell me.
49
00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:35,730
What's your favorite scary movie?
50
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,250
I don't really do them.
51
00:02:38,445 --> 00:02:39,866
You know, all the stupid tropes and shit.
52
00:02:39,890 --> 00:02:41,790
Why is it always the white bitch at the
end?
53
00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:43,846
Cause they know it's too hard to kill a
sister.
54
00:02:43,870 --> 00:02:44,530
You know what I'm saying?
55
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:48,090
Cause if the sister can survive government
cheese, we can survive anything.
56
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:51,610
You know, it might help if you met me
outside.
57
00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,110
Met you outside?
58
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:54,250
Boy, you is needy.
59
00:02:55,054 --> 00:02:55,850
What's your sign?
60
00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:56,950
You must be a Scorpio.
61
00:02:57,190 --> 00:02:57,850
How'd you know?
62
00:02:58,190 --> 00:02:59,190
Good dick though.
63
00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:00,410
But toxic as hell.
64
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,210
Hey, is the restaurant near an alley?
65
00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:04,270
Yeah, it's hurry before they rob your ass.
66
00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:05,670
For reals this?
67
00:03:05,870 --> 00:03:06,870
Nah, not today.
68
00:03:06,950 --> 00:03:07,950
Cheap bitch.
69
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:08,410
Heard you ho.
70
00:03:08,900 --> 00:03:10,710
Okay, I'm coming down the alley now.
71
00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:11,970
I'm here.
72
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:12,590
Can you see me?
73
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:13,670
I'm waving.
74
00:03:15,450 --> 00:03:15,850
No.
75
00:03:15,851 --> 00:03:17,550
The person I'm looking at is not waving.
76
00:03:18,350 --> 00:03:20,010
In fact, they're just staring at me.
77
00:03:20,230 --> 00:03:21,490
Well, stare at his ass back.
78
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,050
And don't blink.
79
00:03:23,130 --> 00:03:23,870
Never blink.
80
00:03:23,970 --> 00:03:25,821
You got to scrunch through lips and be
like, what?
81
00:03:25,845 --> 00:03:27,530
No, they're walking towards me now.
82
00:03:28,210 --> 00:03:29,790
Oh my, oh no, they have a knife.
83
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:31,710
Well, don't lead his ass over here.
84
00:03:32,140 --> 00:03:33,390
And that's not the worst part.
85
00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,968
The worst part is, you
know so much about horror
86
00:03:37,969 --> 00:03:42,010
movies, and yet you still
walk into the alley alone.
87
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:46,930
Yeah, but the worst part is, you're
fucking with a New York bitch.
88
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:47,950
Cuckoo!
89
00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:49,450
Yeah!
90
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:50,770
Cuckoo!
91
00:04:05,170 --> 00:04:07,230
Damn, he wants some Avenger shit.
92
00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:22,110
Seriously, Larry?
93
00:04:22,180 --> 00:04:23,326
I didn't recognize your bird call.
94
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:24,790
I thought you was going more of a...
95
00:04:25,410 --> 00:04:26,510
That's a pigeon, nigga.
96
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,360
It's supposed to be, cuckoo!
97
00:04:28,710 --> 00:04:29,230
Cuckoo!
98
00:04:29,231 --> 00:04:30,650
A hawk swoopin' in and attack.
99
00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:32,870
My bad.
100
00:04:33,030 --> 00:04:34,030
Are you done?
101
00:04:36,090 --> 00:04:37,230
What the hell?
102
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:40,870
Bitch, I'm Tiana Taylor.
103
00:04:41,090 --> 00:04:42,190
My abs got abs.
104
00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:43,650
Get him, dude!
105
00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:44,790
Ow!
106
00:04:44,850 --> 00:04:45,370
My arm!
107
00:04:45,530 --> 00:04:46,530
My arm!
108
00:04:47,350 --> 00:04:48,590
Come on, guys.
109
00:04:48,670 --> 00:04:49,670
We can work this out.
110
00:04:53,810 --> 00:04:55,130
Somebody help me!
111
00:04:55,131 --> 00:04:56,131
No, Larry!
112
00:04:56,610 --> 00:04:57,770
No, no, no, no!
113
00:05:00,370 --> 00:05:01,370
We out.
114
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,710
Get your hard-headed ass on.
115
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:09,130
Welcome to New York, sucker.
116
00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:10,650
Hey, Tiana.
117
00:05:10,830 --> 00:05:14,670
You might have kicked my ass, but you
still didn't win that Oscar.
118
00:05:15,675 --> 00:05:16,890
What you say about my Oscar?
119
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,570
Did I stutter?
120
00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:19,790
You lost.
121
00:05:20,270 --> 00:05:21,270
You right.
122
00:05:21,490 --> 00:05:23,310
But I won that Golden Globe, bitch.
123
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:25,610
Oh my God, really?
124
00:05:25,611 --> 00:05:27,730
See, that's why I never watched a horror
movie.
125
00:05:27,980 --> 00:05:28,980
It's fucking terrible.
126
00:05:29,540 --> 00:05:31,970
Just a bunch of celebrity cameos and fart
gags.
127
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:34,570
So, you don't like parodies?
128
00:05:34,980 --> 00:05:36,270
I'm more into Judd Apatow films.
129
00:05:36,490 --> 00:05:38,370
You know, elevated comedy.
130
00:05:39,450 --> 00:05:41,270
And what is elevated comedy?
131
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:46,010
The kind that doesn't actually make anyone
laugh, but makes white people feel smart.
132
00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:48,590
Tuesday?
133
00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:49,450
Don't answer that.
134
00:05:49,730 --> 00:05:50,770
Could be Ghostface.
135
00:05:51,230 --> 00:05:52,770
Oh, come on, Elle.
136
00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:54,910
Stuff like that only happens in the
movies.
137
00:05:57,530 --> 00:05:58,770
Oh, hey.
138
00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:01,410
I wasn't expecting you to answer the door,
huh?
139
00:06:01,570 --> 00:06:02,570
What the fuck?
140
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:04,390
Now, where's my knife?
141
00:06:04,770 --> 00:06:05,770
Ah, here it is.
142
00:06:07,610 --> 00:06:08,810
Hello, Tuesday.
143
00:06:17,590 --> 00:06:25,590
I really wanna get messy Don't know what
I'm doing next week You really don't know
144
00:06:26,830 --> 00:06:31,269
I don't wanna test you
Passages don't get sexy
145
00:06:31,270 --> 00:06:35,831
I won't get messy
Baby, get messy I missed.
146
00:06:37,210 --> 00:06:38,170
What'd you take?
147
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,910
Just Ritalin for my ADHD.
148
00:06:40,530 --> 00:06:41,930
Adderall for PTSD.
149
00:06:42,015 --> 00:06:43,790
A couple Xanax for my anxiety.
150
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:45,290
And your boner pills.
151
00:06:46,350 --> 00:06:47,750
So good luck getting it up now.
152
00:06:49,795 --> 00:06:52,210
Jesus, Sarah, how many did you take?
153
00:06:52,550 --> 00:06:53,090
I don't know.
154
00:06:53,130 --> 00:06:54,230
How many come in a bottle?
155
00:06:55,910 --> 00:06:56,910
Hey, Jess.
156
00:06:57,060 --> 00:06:59,050
Sarah, Tuesday's in the hospital.
157
00:06:59,470 --> 00:07:01,050
She was stabbed by a killer.
158
00:07:01,250 --> 00:07:02,250
You know, Ghostface.
159
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:04,090
Wait, from Wu-Tang?
160
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,650
Why would Ghostface Killa aka Pretty Tony
aka Starkey love wanna stab my sister?
161
00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:11,050
God, Sarah, it wasn't Ghostface Killa.
162
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,800
It was somebody in a Ghostface mask.
163
00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:15,590
Ah, okay, that makes more sense.
164
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:22,630
I ain't the one!
165
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:26,650
Jesus, Jack!
166
00:07:27,090 --> 00:07:27,450
What?
167
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,790
I was thinking about wearing this for
Halloween.
168
00:07:30,230 --> 00:07:34,150
My estranged, flat-chested half-sister was
nearly killed by a psycho in a Ghost mask.
169
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:36,130
Gotta go see her.
170
00:07:36,550 --> 00:07:38,070
And make up for the past.
171
00:07:38,550 --> 00:07:39,550
Well, hey, hey, hey.
172
00:07:40,075 --> 00:07:41,170
I'm going with you.
173
00:07:41,860 --> 00:07:44,806
Not because I'm the obvious killer trying
to lure you back to your hometown.
174
00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:46,250
I'm just a supportive boyfriend.
175
00:07:46,790 --> 00:07:47,110
Yeah.
176
00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:48,350
That's all.
177
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,490
Okay, let's go.
178
00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:51,530
Get in the car.
179
00:07:51,710 --> 00:07:53,990
Listen, we just have to make one stop on
the way.
180
00:07:54,830 --> 00:07:55,830
I survived.
181
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,670
All thanks to my lucky penny.
182
00:08:24,110 --> 00:08:25,630
Hey, we all leave.
183
00:08:25,750 --> 00:08:27,290
Come give me a hug.
184
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:29,490
Ma, come on.
185
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,070
Turn off this ratchet-ass music.
186
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:33,530
It's embarrassing, especially for black
women.
187
00:08:33,909 --> 00:08:34,909
It's not embarrassing.
188
00:08:34,970 --> 00:08:37,169
I'm the cool mom everybody wished they
had.
189
00:08:37,330 --> 00:08:37,789
I'm lit.
190
00:08:38,049 --> 00:08:40,186
Don't forget I got practice later,
so I'll be home late.
191
00:08:40,210 --> 00:08:42,049
You only made the team because you're
black.
192
00:08:42,169 --> 00:08:44,250
And those racist fucks assumed you could
play.
193
00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:46,090
It's 2026.
194
00:08:46,190 --> 00:08:48,010
I don't think race is an issue.
195
00:08:48,270 --> 00:08:49,510
Do you read black Twitter?
196
00:08:49,511 --> 00:08:50,511
No.
197
00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:52,310
Oh, crap.
198
00:08:52,799 --> 00:08:54,050
Are you still dating that hoe?
199
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:57,010
Okay, stop hoe-shaming her, heifer.
200
00:08:57,170 --> 00:09:00,310
Just because Daryl and them ran a train on
her doesn't make her a hoe.
201
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:01,570
She's not a hoe.
202
00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:03,150
She's sex positive.
203
00:09:03,445 --> 00:09:05,370
Well, I'm positive she's a hoe.
204
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:07,210
Hey, girl!
205
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:08,110
Look at you!
206
00:09:08,450 --> 00:09:09,850
Early for Halloween, huh?
207
00:09:10,070 --> 00:09:10,790
What you this year?
208
00:09:10,870 --> 00:09:11,870
Slutty schoolgirl?
209
00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:12,730
Hoey hoe?
210
00:09:12,990 --> 00:09:14,210
Hi, Miss Meeks.
211
00:09:14,890 --> 00:09:16,070
Love the hair.
212
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,210
Wearing Octavia Spencer.
213
00:09:18,211 --> 00:09:19,830
Well, thank you very much.
214
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:22,290
I gotta invite you over and make you a
little shit pie.
215
00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:23,090
Ooh.
216
00:09:23,690 --> 00:09:24,570
You know what?
217
00:09:24,670 --> 00:09:26,630
I gotta get to African American history
class.
218
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:28,144
We're learning about slavery.
219
00:09:28,330 --> 00:09:29,450
Time to find out.
220
00:09:29,599 --> 00:09:30,530
It was a choice.
221
00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:31,610
You see that right there?
222
00:09:32,370 --> 00:09:33,370
That's Kanye?
223
00:09:33,410 --> 00:09:33,710
That's right.
224
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:36,170
They been teaching us wrong all this time.
225
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:36,830
Mm-hmm.
226
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:37,910
Stay black.
227
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:39,090
Bye, Ma.
228
00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:39,930
All right.
229
00:09:40,130 --> 00:09:40,910
Bye, baby.
230
00:09:41,150 --> 00:09:41,970
Bye, Miss Meeks.
231
00:09:41,971 --> 00:09:42,290
Bye.
232
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:44,530
Son, I put some condoms in your bag.
233
00:09:44,570 --> 00:09:46,250
You know how they try to trap y'all.
234
00:09:46,370 --> 00:09:47,370
Ma!
235
00:09:49,410 --> 00:09:50,410
Okay, seriously?
236
00:09:50,850 --> 00:09:52,850
Sheriff Gregg, you don't have to walk me
to class.
237
00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:53,270
I'm fine.
238
00:09:53,450 --> 00:09:55,770
Jess, there's a serial killer on the
loose.
239
00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:58,710
I'm not gonna let anything happen to my
baby girl.
240
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:00,210
Boys, okay?
241
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:01,110
I'm a baby boy.
242
00:10:01,190 --> 00:10:02,190
I'm sorry.
243
00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:04,594
Just I'm having a hard time with this
transition.
244
00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:05,630
Okay, it's really simple.
245
00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:08,370
Treat me like one of the guys,
okay?
246
00:10:09,230 --> 00:10:09,770
All right.
247
00:10:09,949 --> 00:10:10,949
I can do that.
248
00:10:10,990 --> 00:10:11,990
Yeah.
249
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,190
Slap fight.
250
00:10:13,839 --> 00:10:15,150
Oh, you call that a slap?
251
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:16,430
Oh!
252
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:17,790
Whew.
253
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,645
What the hell did you do that for?
254
00:10:20,269 --> 00:10:21,389
Don't act like such a bitch.
255
00:10:23,470 --> 00:10:24,470
Bitch.
256
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:29,330
Man, not bad.
257
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:33,750
Who the hell lives like this?
258
00:10:46,155 --> 00:10:48,950
Oh, honey, it is so good to see you.
259
00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:49,670
Come in.
260
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:50,890
Do you want some tea?
261
00:10:51,159 --> 00:10:52,290
Oh, my God, Mother.
262
00:10:52,430 --> 00:10:53,570
You look like shit.
263
00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:55,235
Babe, please.
264
00:10:55,310 --> 00:10:57,220
This is clearly a woman who's run out of
condition.
265
00:10:57,244 --> 00:10:58,570
Oh, be careful where you walk.
266
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,310
The whole place is booby-trapped.
267
00:11:00,734 --> 00:11:02,694
You never know when that psycho's gonna
come back.
268
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:04,010
Come in.
269
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:05,810
Okay.
270
00:11:09,070 --> 00:11:09,550
Aah!
271
00:11:09,850 --> 00:11:10,850
Aah!
272
00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:13,270
Oh!
273
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:17,150
I hate this job.
274
00:11:19,870 --> 00:11:20,870
Mrs. Campbell.
275
00:11:22,659 --> 00:11:23,790
I'm Jack, Sarah's boyfriend.
276
00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:26,270
I've heard so much about you.
277
00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:27,639
Uh, none of it good.
278
00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:30,890
I have heard nothing about you,
Jack.
279
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:32,670
I assume you're a piece of shit.
280
00:11:33,149 --> 00:11:37,710
But how would I know when I haven't heard
from my daughter in, what, six months?
281
00:11:38,015 --> 00:11:39,550
Six years, Mother.
282
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,250
And whose fault is that?
283
00:11:41,310 --> 00:11:42,490
And whose fault is that?
284
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:43,070
I don't know.
285
00:11:43,130 --> 00:11:44,130
Maybe it's yours.
286
00:11:45,070 --> 00:11:46,070
That's fair.
287
00:11:46,269 --> 00:11:49,050
We want to learn from the horror you
survived.
288
00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:49,750
Look.
289
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:54,070
Scary movie three and four paid me a lot
of money for a girl.
290
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:55,690
There is nothing to learn there.
291
00:11:56,349 --> 00:11:58,650
But if you want to talk about the house,
Bunny, shoot.
292
00:11:58,810 --> 00:11:59,810
It's happening again.
293
00:12:00,150 --> 00:12:02,590
Some asshole in a mask.
294
00:12:02,750 --> 00:12:03,990
We have to stop him.
295
00:12:04,829 --> 00:12:05,970
You're not ready, lovebug.
296
00:12:07,099 --> 00:12:09,090
I have been preparing for this for years.
297
00:12:09,805 --> 00:12:11,010
Sacrificed everything.
298
00:12:11,410 --> 00:12:12,630
You are a terrible mother.
299
00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:13,990
Come on, honey.
300
00:12:14,170 --> 00:12:15,830
We had some good times.
301
00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,730
Like that Christmas I took you to meet
Santa at the mall.
302
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:26,030
...dashing through the snow, we're a
one-horse open sleigh.
303
00:12:26,750 --> 00:12:28,810
Your turn, Sarah.
304
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:30,680
Move.
305
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,070
Hi, Santa.
306
00:12:32,805 --> 00:12:36,050
Sorry if I don't sit in your lap.
307
00:12:36,479 --> 00:12:37,730
You creep me out.
308
00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:46,130
Mom!
309
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,820
Santa give me a slavered arm.
310
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,640
Be sure to thank him.
311
00:13:00,124 --> 00:13:02,124
Ew. that's gross.
312
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:04,278
What the fuck.
313
00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:09,560
I am sorry if that's how you found out
Santa.
314
00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,720
Santa doesn't exist.
315
00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,180
Mother, I need your help.
316
00:13:13,629 --> 00:13:16,400
To heal our emotional wounds and put the
past behind us?
317
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:18,320
God, no.
318
00:13:18,694 --> 00:13:20,420
No, to kill Ghostface.
319
00:13:21,419 --> 00:13:22,419
Do you have any guns?
320
00:13:23,639 --> 00:13:26,000
I am Cindy fucking Campbell.
321
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,120
I've got millions of guns.
322
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,780
But none of them are registered due to my
mental health issues.
323
00:13:33,155 --> 00:13:35,880
So if you could just keep that on the low.
324
00:13:37,420 --> 00:13:38,020
Okay.
325
00:13:38,021 --> 00:13:40,480
Oh, you know, I'm gonna be fine.
326
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,900
I didn't hurt myself on any of these
spikes.
327
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,500
Oh, hey, so I spoke to Sarah earlier.
328
00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:53,780
Oh, is she coming?
329
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,600
You know, I did hear a buzzing sound.
330
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000
So it's possible.
331
00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:58,460
No, I meant to Woodsville.
332
00:13:58,800 --> 00:13:59,220
Dumbass.
333
00:13:59,520 --> 00:13:59,620
Oh.
334
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:00,640
Yeah, I forgot to ask.
335
00:14:00,680 --> 00:14:01,180
Hey, Jimbo.
336
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:02,500
Go deep.
337
00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,520
Oh!
338
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:05,660
Sweet!
339
00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:06,920
Haha.
340
00:14:07,105 --> 00:14:08,600
Speaking of going deep.
341
00:14:08,959 --> 00:14:10,440
Uh, I don't know if it's a good time.
342
00:14:10,929 --> 00:14:12,676
Everyone knows what
happens to teenagers who try
343
00:14:12,677 --> 00:14:14,300
to make love when
there's a killer in the loose.
344
00:14:14,530 --> 00:14:15,930
Brad's right about one thing, guys.
345
00:14:16,009 --> 00:14:17,009
Okay, Ghostface is back.
346
00:14:17,260 --> 00:14:18,260
We need to arm up.
347
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:19,260
Pepper spray?
348
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,480
Check.
349
00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,040
Taser?
350
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,120
Check.
351
00:14:23,380 --> 00:14:24,380
Butt plug?
352
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:25,640
Double check.
353
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,160
Goddamn!
354
00:14:27,679 --> 00:14:29,060
You just carry that thing around?
355
00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,400
It's easy to hide.
356
00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:34,680
In your butt?
357
00:14:36,660 --> 00:14:37,660
I'm impressed.
358
00:14:47,684 --> 00:14:49,174
What's up yall
359
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:51,270
I'm back!
360
00:14:52,890 --> 00:14:54,890
Hey, what's up, unk?
361
00:14:54,891 --> 00:14:55,370
Unk?
362
00:14:55,830 --> 00:15:00,930
I'm tired of you little Gen Z Alpha niggas
using terms like unk and auntie.
363
00:15:01,710 --> 00:15:03,230
Gaslighting and glazing and glamping.
364
00:15:03,489 --> 00:15:05,230
Trying to make my generation sound old.
365
00:15:05,559 --> 00:15:06,750
I ain't your damn unk nigga.
366
00:15:07,069 --> 00:15:08,810
Shorty, you're our mother's brother.
367
00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:10,830
So yeah, technically you are our uncle.
368
00:15:11,130 --> 00:15:11,650
Oh.
369
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:13,110
My bad.
370
00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:16,210
Crazy that they let you teach here.
371
00:15:16,710 --> 00:15:17,710
Teach?
372
00:15:17,790 --> 00:15:18,790
Nah, nigga.
373
00:15:19,050 --> 00:15:20,050
I had 10.
374
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,010
You looking at a proud 25th year senior.
375
00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:25,290
When are you finally gonna graduate?
376
00:15:25,699 --> 00:15:27,453
By the time we do a
sequel and I gotta follow you
377
00:15:27,454 --> 00:15:29,230
little young niggas to
college to get my check.
378
00:15:29,430 --> 00:15:30,110
Wait, guys.
379
00:15:30,370 --> 00:15:30,970
Tuesday's a wake.
380
00:15:31,210 --> 00:15:31,550
Alright!
381
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,130
Tuesday?
382
00:15:32,270 --> 00:15:33,270
Who the fuck is Tuesday?
383
00:15:33,859 --> 00:15:34,979
We gotta go to the hospital.
384
00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:35,830
You gonna take the bus home?
385
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:36,250
Nah.
386
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:37,569
The PJ.
387
00:15:37,945 --> 00:15:38,945
Private Jem?
388
00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:39,410
Yeah.
389
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:40,510
Jealous?
390
00:15:40,549 --> 00:15:42,070
Man, you smoke weed all day.
391
00:15:42,349 --> 00:15:44,029
You just play video games, you livestream.
392
00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:45,949
You literally got money doing nothing.
393
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:47,110
Exactly.
394
00:15:47,344 --> 00:15:49,030
I leave the hard work for the old heads.
395
00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:50,710
Shit, son!
396
00:15:51,630 --> 00:15:53,070
Still the same, Shorty.
397
00:15:53,090 --> 00:15:54,090
Alright.
398
00:15:55,039 --> 00:15:55,770
Check my crypto.
399
00:15:55,771 --> 00:15:57,710
Oh shit, I'm up $3 million!
400
00:15:58,910 --> 00:16:01,610
Damn, now I'm down $5 million.
401
00:16:02,349 --> 00:16:03,710
This shit crazy, son.
402
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,980
I'm gonna let it shine.
403
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:39,440
Ray!
404
00:16:39,940 --> 00:16:41,700
Sister Brenda, it's okay.
405
00:16:42,050 --> 00:16:43,720
You heard the call of sin.
406
00:16:43,780 --> 00:16:44,340
Yes, you did.
407
00:16:44,759 --> 00:16:48,160
But the Lord has called on us to show men
such like you the way.
408
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,620
Come on, son.
409
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:50,920
Come with us.
410
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:52,640
Come on us.
411
00:16:52,641 --> 00:16:54,320
God see you coming.
412
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:55,860
So don't cheat that cologne.
413
00:16:56,369 --> 00:16:59,720
We need you to come like you never came
before.
414
00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,140
Come for the Father, come for the Son.
415
00:17:02,579 --> 00:17:04,619
I'm gonna hold your hand and we gonna come
together.
416
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:05,599
God is good.
417
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:06,780
Yes, sir.
418
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,200
Thank you, Jesus.
419
00:17:08,380 --> 00:17:09,380
Amen.
420
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,040
There you go.
421
00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,740
In the name of God, let it go,
Ray!
422
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,040
Let it go!
423
00:17:17,339 --> 00:17:17,819
Nigga!
424
00:17:17,820 --> 00:17:19,200
Oh, my bad.
425
00:17:20,260 --> 00:17:21,260
Last time.
426
00:17:24,099 --> 00:17:28,279
Let's welcome a new member to our
congregation.
427
00:17:36,544 --> 00:17:38,040
I'm not gay no more.
428
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:42,580
Yes, sir.
429
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,200
I'm not gay no more.
430
00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,820
I'm not gay no more!
431
00:17:46,844 --> 00:17:48,844
I'm not gay no more!
432
00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:57,150
Even if he sets his head where the big old
chest is and perky areolas.
433
00:17:57,410 --> 00:17:57,670
Oh, yeah.
434
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:58,630
You still got a secret.
435
00:17:58,631 --> 00:18:05,490
I no longer carry a purse, put on makeup,
walk around in high heels, red bottles,
436
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,976
the one with the cute little buckle on the
side.
437
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
This was my shoes.
438
00:18:09,309 --> 00:18:16,890
I no longer go on Grindr and swipe right
at black men, white men, Asian men.
439
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:18,130
You gonna grind it?
440
00:18:18,190 --> 00:18:23,230
I no longer take trips to the Philippines
looking for ladyboys to Phuket,
441
00:18:23,549 --> 00:18:27,790
Koh Samui, back to Phuket, then to Vietnam
to see if I can get them any cheaper.
442
00:18:27,791 --> 00:18:29,970
I thought that was for my anniversary,
right?
443
00:18:30,270 --> 00:18:32,070
Oh, this nigga got a lot in my house.
444
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:36,670
I no longer stand butt naked in the mirror
with my penis tucked between my legs.
445
00:18:37,010 --> 00:18:39,590
Dancing like a dude from Silence of the
Lambs.
446
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:41,790
They push the lotion in the basket,
Precious.
447
00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:43,110
I'm a changed man.
448
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:44,310
I've been delivered.
449
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:45,090
Yeah.
450
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:46,330
I will.
451
00:18:46,449 --> 00:18:47,449
I said I will.
452
00:18:47,909 --> 00:18:48,909
I will.
453
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:49,470
No.
454
00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:50,570
No, woman.
455
00:18:50,770 --> 00:18:51,770
Huh?
456
00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:52,650
Woman.
457
00:18:52,651 --> 00:18:52,950
Woman.
458
00:18:53,070 --> 00:18:53,470
Woman.
459
00:18:53,471 --> 00:18:53,710
Woman.
460
00:18:53,711 --> 00:18:54,230
Woman.
461
00:18:55,391 --> 00:18:55,410
Woman!
462
00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:56,150
Woman!
463
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:56,430
Woman!
464
00:18:56,550 --> 00:18:57,010
Women!
465
00:18:57,011 --> 00:18:57,110
Women, women!
466
00:18:57,111 --> 00:18:58,510
Mimest, mimest, mimest!
467
00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,369
No no, No no Ray, No no
468
00:19:13,430 --> 00:19:14,430
Gok, Gok, Gok, Gok!
469
00:19:14,550 --> 00:19:16,330
Whoa, nigga!
470
00:19:17,059 --> 00:19:18,870
Hawk Tuah, Hawk Tuah, Hawk Tuah!
471
00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:20,450
Are you honking or what?
472
00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:36,930
I've been delivered!
473
00:19:51,930 --> 00:19:53,010
Tuesday, Tuesday!
474
00:19:55,030 --> 00:19:56,150
Oh, my God!
475
00:19:56,510 --> 00:19:57,670
Ah, her face!
476
00:19:57,870 --> 00:19:58,870
So contorted!
477
00:19:58,970 --> 00:19:59,610
Oh, my God!
478
00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:00,630
In the morning!
479
00:20:01,170 --> 00:20:02,170
Shh!
480
00:20:04,185 --> 00:20:08,430
I'm going to try and get that out for an
hour.
481
00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:10,450
How are you feeling, Toot?
482
00:20:11,579 --> 00:20:13,106
Hey, what are they giving you for the
pain?
483
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,490
Is that morphine or?
484
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,150
Bitch!
485
00:20:17,210 --> 00:20:18,210
Let's see.
486
00:20:19,914 --> 00:20:20,970
Oh, yeah.
487
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:27,510
Oh, this, that good, good, this,
that Britney Spears shit makes me want to
488
00:20:27,511 --> 00:20:30,050
get half naked, dance around, and juggle
some knives.
489
00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:33,070
Sarah, who's that Jeffrey Dahmer
look-a-like?
490
00:20:33,509 --> 00:20:35,970
Oh, this is my boyfriend, Jack.
491
00:20:36,324 --> 00:20:37,530
Really nice to meet you.
492
00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:40,110
Looks like Ted Bundy to me.
493
00:20:41,069 --> 00:20:42,469
But that ain't none of my business.
494
00:20:45,269 --> 00:20:47,109
This old stabbed-up bitch here needs some
rest.
495
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:49,050
So y'all, get the fuck out!
496
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,250
Yes, ma'am.
497
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,110
Oh, not you, Sarah.
498
00:20:53,539 --> 00:20:54,750
Why, what did I do?
499
00:20:56,569 --> 00:20:57,569
I'm so scared.
500
00:20:58,774 --> 00:20:59,750
Oh, Toot.
501
00:20:59,751 --> 00:21:01,390
You should be.
502
00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:04,610
You've been stabbed nine times.
503
00:21:05,279 --> 00:21:06,770
And the killer knows where you live.
504
00:21:07,249 --> 00:21:09,658
I would invite you to
come stay at my place, but
505
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:12,290
I don't really want that
kind of juju in my house.
506
00:21:12,744 --> 00:21:15,670
For all we know, he's standing right
outside that door.
507
00:21:22,109 --> 00:21:23,109
It's comforting, Sarah.
508
00:21:23,574 --> 00:21:25,170
I thought I was gonna die.
509
00:21:25,429 --> 00:21:26,510
I know, me too.
510
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,710
I planned your funeral.
511
00:21:29,750 --> 00:21:30,070
Yeah.
512
00:21:30,110 --> 00:21:30,710
What the hell?
513
00:21:30,939 --> 00:21:32,470
And I wrote your obituary.
514
00:21:32,950 --> 00:21:34,350
More like ChatGPT wrote it.
515
00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:35,450
But you're still here.
516
00:21:36,189 --> 00:21:38,170
And I will never let anyone hurt you.
517
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:40,750
Oh, yum!
518
00:21:41,379 --> 00:21:42,379
Ice chip!
519
00:21:42,830 --> 00:21:43,830
Oh!
520
00:21:43,910 --> 00:21:44,430
Oh!
521
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:45,710
Get off me!
522
00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:46,250
Oh!
523
00:21:46,810 --> 00:21:47,810
Oh!
524
00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:48,230
Help!
525
00:21:48,770 --> 00:21:50,710
This white girl can't die on my shift!
526
00:21:51,189 --> 00:21:52,230
I'm a DEI hire!
527
00:21:52,530 --> 00:21:53,210
Oh my god!
528
00:21:53,211 --> 00:21:53,530
Oh my god!
529
00:21:53,550 --> 00:21:54,870
She was fine a second ago!
530
00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:55,250
No!
531
00:21:55,251 --> 00:21:55,370
No!
532
00:21:55,371 --> 00:21:56,050
I'm good!
533
00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:57,170
I'm good!
534
00:21:58,494 --> 00:21:59,494
Again!
535
00:21:59,750 --> 00:22:00,430
Come on, white bitch!
536
00:22:00,431 --> 00:22:01,230
I need this job!
537
00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:01,770
Please!
538
00:22:01,890 --> 00:22:02,990
It's not working!
539
00:22:03,790 --> 00:22:05,190
Oh, we're losing her!
540
00:22:06,350 --> 00:22:07,350
Revive her!
541
00:22:11,429 --> 00:22:12,429
Oh, boy.
542
00:22:13,489 --> 00:22:17,180
Looks like there ain't nothing left but
thoughts, prayers, and pork rinds.
543
00:22:17,740 --> 00:22:18,740
Dear Lord.
544
00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:19,580
Nurse Ratchet!
545
00:22:19,889 --> 00:22:20,889
Check out the wire!
546
00:22:21,369 --> 00:22:23,160
The wire was the shit, baby!
547
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:23,800
That's my show.
548
00:22:24,059 --> 00:22:27,540
Drugs and that Idris Alba make this
coochie wanna pop, pop, pop!
549
00:22:28,109 --> 00:22:31,720
Dear Lord, please accept this white bitch.
550
00:22:31,740 --> 00:22:32,740
Oh!
551
00:22:33,839 --> 00:22:35,600
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
552
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:37,640
I'm going on break.
553
00:22:38,169 --> 00:22:39,169
Oh, choose.
554
00:22:39,460 --> 00:22:42,200
I will never let anyone
hurt you... Mm-mm.
555
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:43,480
...again.
556
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,040
Ooh!
557
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,160
My bad!
558
00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:01,300
Hello?
559
00:23:02,239 --> 00:23:03,320
Hello, Sarah.
560
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:05,480
Who is this?
561
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,860
Someone who knows your little secret.
562
00:23:09,420 --> 00:23:10,380
No, no, no.
563
00:23:10,381 --> 00:23:12,240
I swear that wasn't a Nazi salute.
564
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:12,840
Okay?
565
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,820
I won prom queen, and I was throwing my
heart to the crowd.
566
00:23:16,060 --> 00:23:17,060
No.
567
00:23:17,155 --> 00:23:20,500
I'm talking about your family secret.
568
00:23:21,979 --> 00:23:24,540
Oh, you're the fuck who hurt my sister.
569
00:23:25,509 --> 00:23:27,480
Well, I had to get you to come back here.
570
00:23:27,969 --> 00:23:31,760
Listen, if you wanna fuck with me,
asshole, then come and get me.
571
00:23:31,860 --> 00:23:32,920
With pleasure.
572
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:34,640
Ah!
573
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:35,760
Ah!
574
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,120
Ah!
575
00:23:37,260 --> 00:23:37,820
Ah!
576
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:38,720
Help!
577
00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:40,600
Somebody help!
578
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:41,920
Please!
579
00:23:42,220 --> 00:23:43,340
Somebody help!
580
00:23:44,780 --> 00:23:45,780
Bitch!
581
00:23:46,559 --> 00:23:48,400
This the break room.
582
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:49,300
Mm-hmm.
583
00:23:49,449 --> 00:23:50,449
We on break.
584
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,680
Oh, God.
585
00:23:57,460 --> 00:23:59,140
Take that!
586
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,280
Please!
587
00:24:04,340 --> 00:24:05,340
Save me!
588
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:07,900
I've been saving people all day!
589
00:24:07,901 --> 00:24:09,340
So you handle yours.
590
00:24:09,894 --> 00:24:14,880
I'll be right over here eating my falafel
and my pork rinds.
591
00:24:15,279 --> 00:24:16,279
I look like your momma?
592
00:24:18,220 --> 00:24:20,940
I now breaks over.
593
00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:28,839
You're welcome.
594
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:34,400
It really looks like you got hit with
something hard.
595
00:24:34,580 --> 00:24:35,340
Like metal.
596
00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:36,280
I told you.
597
00:24:36,281 --> 00:24:37,281
I fell.
598
00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:39,200
Now where exactly are we going?
599
00:24:39,420 --> 00:24:40,800
To talk to an expert.
600
00:24:53,980 --> 00:24:54,790
Go away!
601
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:56,220
I'm so sorry to bother you.
602
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,220
We just... We just wanna
ask you a few questions.
603
00:24:58,820 --> 00:25:01,260
Give me one good reason why I should talk
to you.
604
00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:02,840
I'm white.
605
00:25:02,969 --> 00:25:03,660
How white?
606
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:05,880
Oh, I'm talking Candace Owens white.
607
00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:08,560
Fix it!
608
00:25:08,700 --> 00:25:10,417
When you said expert,
I assumed you meant
609
00:25:10,418 --> 00:25:12,380
more like Neil deGrasse
Tyson or... Shut up.
610
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:13,940
I'm Sarah Campbell.
611
00:25:14,629 --> 00:25:15,700
I was attacked last night.
612
00:25:15,701 --> 00:25:16,701
I think you should leave.
613
00:25:16,969 --> 00:25:18,009
I don't wanna get stabbed.
614
00:25:18,139 --> 00:25:19,400
And I don't want COVID, okay?
615
00:25:19,740 --> 00:25:20,400
Please, come on.
616
00:25:20,420 --> 00:25:21,420
Just two minutes.
617
00:25:21,445 --> 00:25:22,200
That's all I'm asking.
618
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:23,320
No, no.
619
00:25:23,819 --> 00:25:24,939
I'll give you eight minutes.
620
00:25:26,469 --> 00:25:27,469
And another thing.
621
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:30,300
I got tested for COVID.
622
00:25:30,700 --> 00:25:31,700
Oh my god!
623
00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:35,820
Now you guys are good.
624
00:25:36,260 --> 00:25:38,320
When did the work week become the woke
week?
625
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:39,780
We've got Black Friday.
626
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:40,340
What's next?
627
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:41,440
Mulatto Monday?
628
00:25:41,894 --> 00:25:42,894
I mean, Yellow Thursday?
629
00:25:44,730 --> 00:25:45,730
Come on.
630
00:25:47,689 --> 00:25:49,780
Let me get this out of your way.
631
00:25:50,220 --> 00:25:51,220
Sorry.
632
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:52,720
Oh!
633
00:25:52,900 --> 00:25:54,040
COVID tests are done.
634
00:25:55,460 --> 00:25:55,940
Yep.
635
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,080
You're good.
636
00:25:59,119 --> 00:26:00,440
You're Cindy's daughter, right?
637
00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:01,000
Yeah.
638
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:01,640
Yeah.
639
00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:02,900
I don't know him.
640
00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:04,120
Oh, this is Jack.
641
00:26:04,380 --> 00:26:05,380
My love interest.
642
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,140
Oh, no.
643
00:26:06,420 --> 00:26:07,420
No, no, no.
644
00:26:07,629 --> 00:26:12,760
Rule number one of surviving a horror
movie is never trust the love interest.
645
00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:14,100
Look at him.
646
00:26:14,989 --> 00:26:16,760
He's got that weird look on his face.
647
00:26:16,761 --> 00:26:20,680
Lazy eye poking one way and then he's
drooling like a psychopath.
648
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:22,660
He's got that stump leg.
649
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:25,500
Makes the wall walk weird and creepy.
650
00:26:25,900 --> 00:26:27,180
I don't have a stump.
651
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:28,420
Well, that guy does.
652
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:29,920
Oh.
653
00:26:29,980 --> 00:26:31,000
Been looking at me.
654
00:26:32,579 --> 00:26:33,680
Social officer Doofy.
655
00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:35,460
Retired.
656
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:36,600
Listen, Doofy.
657
00:26:36,620 --> 00:26:37,900
We could really use your help.
658
00:26:38,540 --> 00:26:39,540
No.
659
00:26:39,889 --> 00:26:41,049
I can't go back to that life.
660
00:26:41,239 --> 00:26:43,460
Plus, we're in the middle of a global
pandemic.
661
00:26:43,461 --> 00:26:43,800
Okay.
662
00:26:43,801 --> 00:26:47,220
I hate to break it to you, but COVID has
been over for like years.
663
00:26:48,180 --> 00:26:49,180
Really?
664
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:50,640
Yeah.
665
00:26:53,500 --> 00:26:54,500
Dammit!
666
00:26:55,379 --> 00:26:57,139
What am I gonna do with all this canned
meat?
667
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,080
Get out.
668
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,020
I don't want the O'Shea's to find me.
669
00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:03,180
And don't come back.
670
00:27:22,890 --> 00:27:23,770
Don't you laugh, Z.
671
00:27:23,810 --> 00:27:24,230
Doofy.
672
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:24,910
You're funny.
673
00:27:24,990 --> 00:27:25,990
Doot.
674
00:27:26,830 --> 00:27:27,270
Okay.
675
00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:30,470
Just because he showered doesn't
mean that... You know, I didn't shower.
676
00:27:30,590 --> 00:27:32,470
I just take water from my mouth.
677
00:27:32,870 --> 00:27:33,870
You want some?
678
00:27:33,910 --> 00:27:34,170
No.
679
00:27:34,230 --> 00:27:34,770
That's okay.
680
00:27:34,950 --> 00:27:35,290
Okay.
681
00:27:35,430 --> 00:27:36,110
Come on, Doofy.
682
00:27:36,230 --> 00:27:36,590
Yeah.
683
00:27:36,750 --> 00:27:37,410
Do it.
684
00:27:37,570 --> 00:27:39,430
Sarah, is your ghetto-ass mom coming?
685
00:27:39,530 --> 00:27:41,130
Or can we start talking about this plot?
686
00:27:41,550 --> 00:27:42,550
Uh...
687
00:27:44,690 --> 00:27:45,690
Hi.
688
00:27:46,290 --> 00:27:47,290
You came.
689
00:27:47,629 --> 00:27:49,190
Not in like 15 years, honey.
690
00:27:49,699 --> 00:27:53,310
But I did buy this new rose, so fingers
crossed.
691
00:27:53,710 --> 00:27:53,790
Yeah.
692
00:27:54,370 --> 00:27:55,370
Yeah.
693
00:27:56,310 --> 00:27:57,310
Yeah.
694
00:27:57,810 --> 00:27:58,810
Oh.
695
00:27:59,290 --> 00:28:00,290
Oh.
696
00:28:00,390 --> 00:28:00,930
Oh.
697
00:28:00,970 --> 00:28:02,030
Oh, my old friend.
698
00:28:02,729 --> 00:28:04,470
You taught me how to dance?
699
00:28:05,219 --> 00:28:07,430
How to make a high-end word pie?
700
00:28:08,039 --> 00:28:09,890
Nigga, I'm writing back to you.
701
00:28:10,490 --> 00:28:11,030
Shorty!
702
00:28:11,130 --> 00:28:12,130
What's up, Sandy?
703
00:28:12,510 --> 00:28:14,270
How you doing, my nigga?
704
00:28:15,370 --> 00:28:16,510
Shit, son!
705
00:28:17,770 --> 00:28:20,030
I can't believe you thought I was dead.
706
00:28:20,465 --> 00:28:24,230
Well, between cancer, from the weed,
smoke, your love of the McRib,
707
00:28:24,231 --> 00:28:26,730
and racist cops, I didn't think you had a
problem with that.
708
00:28:26,731 --> 00:28:27,150
What a chance.
709
00:28:27,394 --> 00:28:28,834
Yeah, that's a terrible combination.
710
00:28:29,590 --> 00:28:30,590
Hi, Sandy.
711
00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:32,270
Stop smiling at me!
712
00:28:33,570 --> 00:28:34,570
Oh!
713
00:28:34,730 --> 00:28:35,250
Shit!
714
00:28:35,450 --> 00:28:36,450
Wild star!
715
00:28:36,769 --> 00:28:37,510
Wild star!
716
00:28:37,730 --> 00:28:38,730
Wild star!
717
00:28:39,079 --> 00:28:41,130
Hey, he's intellectually disabled!
718
00:28:41,330 --> 00:28:43,190
That's just how he looks, you drunk honky!
719
00:28:43,210 --> 00:28:44,210
Hey, hey, hey!
720
00:28:44,509 --> 00:28:45,886
Don't call that white bitch a honky.
721
00:28:45,910 --> 00:28:46,530
Come on.
722
00:28:46,590 --> 00:28:47,150
Have some respect.
723
00:28:47,509 --> 00:28:49,850
I keep seeing people smiling everywhere.
724
00:28:50,519 --> 00:28:54,010
I'm not very likable, so it must be some
kind of curse.
725
00:28:54,350 --> 00:28:55,350
Hey, everybody!
726
00:28:55,879 --> 00:28:56,710
Look what I did.
727
00:28:56,711 --> 00:28:56,810
Oh my God!
728
00:28:57,469 --> 00:29:02,770
Non-branded gelatin shots made with great
alcohol and GHB, so ain't nobody sippin'
729
00:29:02,790 --> 00:29:05,350
nothin' ain't consent to like last time,
which I apologize.
730
00:29:05,710 --> 00:29:05,930
Take one.
731
00:29:06,129 --> 00:29:07,390
I love Oofy and myself.
732
00:29:08,490 --> 00:29:09,730
You sure, baby?
733
00:29:09,950 --> 00:29:10,950
Hi, Brenda.
734
00:29:10,979 --> 00:29:13,090
Please do not call me by my government
name.
735
00:29:13,170 --> 00:29:14,170
Call me Ma.
736
00:29:15,790 --> 00:29:16,790
Cindy!
737
00:29:18,650 --> 00:29:19,990
You dropped the tray.
738
00:29:20,250 --> 00:29:21,250
Oh my God, Cindy!
739
00:29:21,530 --> 00:29:22,810
I haven't seen you in forever!
740
00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:24,839
Oh my God, look at you!
741
00:29:24,870 --> 00:29:25,870
You look the same!
742
00:29:26,489 --> 00:29:27,730
Minus the crow's feet.
743
00:29:28,409 --> 00:29:29,710
And your hair is so dry.
744
00:29:30,429 --> 00:29:32,630
Oh, and your titties dropped so far.
745
00:29:33,209 --> 00:29:35,510
Other than that, you look the exact same!
746
00:29:35,810 --> 00:29:37,050
What have you been up to?
747
00:29:37,969 --> 00:29:40,149
Oh, you know, neglecting
my children so I can
748
00:29:40,150 --> 00:29:43,091
prepare to kill Ghostfish
should he ever return.
749
00:29:43,489 --> 00:29:44,489
What about you?
750
00:29:44,610 --> 00:29:48,150
Well, I've been mostly just getting high
school kids drunk in a desperate attempt
751
00:29:48,499 --> 00:29:50,059
to stay young and keep my kids at home.
752
00:29:50,169 --> 00:29:51,569
I always knew you'd be a great mom.
753
00:29:51,770 --> 00:29:52,810
Oh, Cindy.
754
00:29:53,210 --> 00:29:54,210
Should we hug?
755
00:29:54,319 --> 00:29:55,510
Oh, I really want to.
756
00:29:55,590 --> 00:29:58,210
But I'm a Republican now, so I'm supposed
to be racist.
757
00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:00,750
Oh, girl, I think all white people are
racist anyway.
758
00:30:00,910 --> 00:30:01,310
Come here.
759
00:30:01,530 --> 00:30:02,530
Okay.
760
00:30:04,250 --> 00:30:05,310
You want a shot?
761
00:30:05,550 --> 00:30:06,770
Oh, yes, yes, please.
762
00:30:07,439 --> 00:30:11,154
You know, Ma, this place
could be so cool if you had like
763
00:30:11,155 --> 00:30:13,710
a beer pong table over
there, maybe like a snack wall.
764
00:30:14,030 --> 00:30:14,730
What you know about cool?
765
00:30:15,039 --> 00:30:18,830
When I was your age, I was popping bottles
with Puffy, Puff Daddy, P Diddy,
766
00:30:19,159 --> 00:30:20,630
Diddy, all the Shons.
767
00:30:21,790 --> 00:30:22,790
That ain't age well.
768
00:30:22,944 --> 00:30:24,850
Your mama was the freak in the freak offs.
769
00:30:25,099 --> 00:30:26,570
Oh, shit, son.
770
00:30:26,650 --> 00:30:27,890
You want to see something cool?
771
00:30:28,549 --> 00:30:30,029
I'm going to show you something cool.
772
00:30:36,350 --> 00:30:38,230
God, that's cool.
773
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:39,670
What are you doing?
774
00:30:39,810 --> 00:30:40,250
What?
775
00:30:40,689 --> 00:30:41,810
No, not like that.
776
00:30:42,390 --> 00:30:43,430
Oh, my God.
777
00:30:43,670 --> 00:30:44,210
Oh, yeah.
778
00:30:44,570 --> 00:30:47,210
I don't know why y'all acting so scared.
779
00:30:47,350 --> 00:30:48,530
The gun ain't even loaded.
780
00:30:48,790 --> 00:30:49,790
Oh, shit.
781
00:30:49,850 --> 00:30:51,630
Oh, shit, son.
782
00:30:52,910 --> 00:30:53,450
Uh-oh.
783
00:30:53,649 --> 00:30:54,649
I did it again.
784
00:30:57,110 --> 00:30:59,670
I always forget that last one in the
chamber.
785
00:30:59,770 --> 00:31:00,770
Help me move this body.
786
00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:01,670
Yeah, you got it.
787
00:31:01,850 --> 00:31:02,850
That was fun.
788
00:31:03,649 --> 00:31:05,510
Oh, so what are you doing after this?
789
00:31:05,710 --> 00:31:06,970
I want to go to Cabo.
790
00:31:07,210 --> 00:31:08,770
Oh, I love Cabo.
791
00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:10,130
You know what?
792
00:31:10,404 --> 00:31:13,470
I used to put cocaine up my hoo-ha and
travel there all the time.
793
00:31:13,579 --> 00:31:14,686
Oh, that's a beautiful song.
794
00:31:14,710 --> 00:31:15,710
Yeah.
795
00:31:17,010 --> 00:31:18,010
Oh.
796
00:31:21,130 --> 00:31:22,130
Oh.
797
00:31:23,870 --> 00:31:24,870
All right.
798
00:31:25,049 --> 00:31:26,129
Let's get back to the plot.
799
00:31:26,999 --> 00:31:29,810
I'm looking at you, Ted Bundy eyes,
looking like a school shooter.
800
00:31:30,129 --> 00:31:31,129
I think you the killer.
801
00:31:31,170 --> 00:31:31,630
Oh, me?
802
00:31:31,810 --> 00:31:32,130
Mm-hmm.
803
00:31:32,150 --> 00:31:34,110
Okay, what about Deputy Doofy over there?
804
00:31:34,459 --> 00:31:35,459
I don't have a motive.
805
00:31:35,630 --> 00:31:36,710
You know, what's my motive?
806
00:31:37,004 --> 00:31:38,750
You were the killer in the first movie.
807
00:31:39,424 --> 00:31:40,510
Shouldn't you be locked up?
808
00:31:40,664 --> 00:31:45,310
No, I got pardoned, mostly because of
storming the Capitol, you know?
809
00:31:45,410 --> 00:31:45,730
Oh.
810
00:31:45,731 --> 00:31:46,731
I got proof.
811
00:31:46,950 --> 00:31:47,770
This is me.
812
00:31:47,930 --> 00:31:48,390
Oh.
813
00:31:48,710 --> 00:31:49,190
And it's framed.
814
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,440
That's a cool hit.
815
00:31:50,734 --> 00:31:52,690
What about Jess?
816
00:31:53,370 --> 00:31:54,370
What about me?
817
00:31:54,589 --> 00:31:57,930
If anybody here has issues
that could lead to murder... Okay.
818
00:31:58,290 --> 00:32:00,750
Trans shaming is not cool, okay?
819
00:32:01,110 --> 00:32:02,430
He's just a dude.
820
00:32:02,470 --> 00:32:02,670
Yeah.
821
00:32:02,869 --> 00:32:05,830
Minus the upper body strength and the dick
part.
822
00:32:06,209 --> 00:32:08,070
Hey, you don't know what I got down here,
okay?
823
00:32:08,270 --> 00:32:08,850
I do.
824
00:32:09,230 --> 00:32:09,750
Hey.
825
00:32:09,770 --> 00:32:09,910
Hey.
826
00:32:10,459 --> 00:32:13,729
Listen, what we know so
far is everyone who's been
827
00:32:13,730 --> 00:32:16,331
attacked is related to
the original characters.
828
00:32:16,394 --> 00:32:17,790
He wants to kill the kids.
829
00:32:17,950 --> 00:32:18,090
Ha!
830
00:32:18,829 --> 00:32:21,010
He's making a reboot-a-quo.
831
00:32:21,830 --> 00:32:22,610
A what now?
832
00:32:22,770 --> 00:32:22,910
Yup.
833
00:32:22,970 --> 00:32:24,590
It's like a reboot and a sequel.
834
00:32:24,690 --> 00:32:28,930
It mixes legacy characters with new
characters in an attempt to feed into
835
00:32:28,931 --> 00:32:31,690
bullshit nostalgia and bring more fans to
the theaters.
836
00:32:31,890 --> 00:32:34,010
Just like last year's I Know What You Did
Last Summer.
837
00:32:36,170 --> 00:32:37,170
That's a movie?
838
00:32:37,219 --> 00:32:38,370
What did I do last summer?
839
00:32:38,649 --> 00:32:40,850
I think you're talking about the summer I
turned pretty.
840
00:32:41,050 --> 00:32:41,190
Yeah.
841
00:32:41,370 --> 00:32:41,510
Ray!
842
00:32:42,070 --> 00:32:43,070
When did you get here?
843
00:32:43,350 --> 00:32:43,910
Oh, I've been here.
844
00:32:43,970 --> 00:32:45,226
I was just hanging out by the men's room.
845
00:32:45,250 --> 00:32:45,650
Oh.
846
00:32:45,651 --> 00:32:46,651
Mom?
847
00:32:47,789 --> 00:32:52,490
Okay, so that means that our killer is
writing his own version of horror movie.
848
00:32:52,819 --> 00:32:57,170
Okay, so according to the reboot-a-quo
rules, who's the killer?
849
00:32:58,060 --> 00:33:00,070
I think it's pretty obvious.
850
00:33:03,230 --> 00:33:04,230
Who?
851
00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:05,750
You, bitch.
852
00:33:05,870 --> 00:33:06,870
Me?
853
00:33:07,069 --> 00:33:08,470
Guys, I am not the killer.
854
00:33:08,819 --> 00:33:11,530
Ghostface attacked Twos to lure me back
here.
855
00:33:11,909 --> 00:33:14,690
I think he attacked Tuesday to get you
back here.
856
00:33:14,691 --> 00:33:17,050
So he could get me back here.
857
00:33:17,130 --> 00:33:18,910
He wants to kill the OGs.
858
00:33:19,819 --> 00:33:20,819
That was a flex.
859
00:33:20,890 --> 00:33:21,950
Yeah, that sounds better.
860
00:33:22,150 --> 00:33:23,490
Oh, fuck this!
861
00:33:23,850 --> 00:33:25,710
And fuck you, mother!
862
00:33:26,370 --> 00:33:28,030
To your mother?
863
00:33:28,210 --> 00:33:28,370
Hey!
864
00:33:28,710 --> 00:33:30,690
Don't be so disrespectful!
865
00:33:31,530 --> 00:33:32,970
And call me mom!
866
00:33:33,190 --> 00:33:34,190
Or mommy.
867
00:33:34,819 --> 00:33:36,059
Or whatever's more comfortable.
868
00:33:38,490 --> 00:33:40,030
All units, be advised.
869
00:33:40,399 --> 00:33:41,650
Suspect is still at large.
870
00:33:41,730 --> 00:33:42,390
Black cloak.
871
00:33:42,630 --> 00:33:43,290
Wiped out.
872
00:33:43,390 --> 00:33:44,390
You got this.
873
00:33:44,450 --> 00:33:44,590
Okay.
874
00:33:44,591 --> 00:33:45,591
Okay.
875
00:33:57,090 --> 00:33:58,090
Talk to me.
876
00:33:58,450 --> 00:33:59,450
Hello, Sheriff.
877
00:34:00,250 --> 00:34:01,330
Agent Underwood?
878
00:34:01,630 --> 00:34:03,130
I'll give you one hint.
879
00:34:03,650 --> 00:34:05,510
What's your favorite scary movie?
880
00:34:06,150 --> 00:34:07,950
Well, I'm gonna go with Saltburn.
881
00:34:08,210 --> 00:34:10,750
I mean, the member on that English guy was
terrifying.
882
00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:15,710
And Ken Jeong's junk in The Hangover was a
much better depiction of the male anatomy.
883
00:34:15,711 --> 00:34:17,790
And what do you want, fuckface?
884
00:34:18,070 --> 00:34:20,442
Well, I'm just calling
to tell you that by the
885
00:34:20,443 --> 00:34:23,371
time you get home, I'll
have gutted your baby girl.
886
00:34:24,210 --> 00:34:25,210
Hey, asshole.
887
00:34:25,610 --> 00:34:26,610
She's a boy!
888
00:34:36,450 --> 00:34:37,450
Yes!
889
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:53,639
Looking for this?
890
00:34:54,639 --> 00:34:55,139
No!
891
00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:56,159
Let me help you.
892
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,020
I got your baby dick.
893
00:34:59,870 --> 00:35:01,080
Winky, winky, winky, winky.
894
00:35:10,230 --> 00:35:11,030
All right.
895
00:35:11,210 --> 00:35:12,210
Here we go.
896
00:35:12,990 --> 00:35:14,070
What do you want, fuckface?
897
00:35:14,485 --> 00:35:20,330
Well, like father, like son, I understand
you're home alone.
898
00:35:20,790 --> 00:35:23,435
Well, dad's out,
but the pool guy, the
899
00:35:23,436 --> 00:35:26,731
gardener, and the
plumber are all here, asshole.
900
00:35:27,490 --> 00:35:28,490
Look out your window.
901
00:35:30,850 --> 00:35:31,450
Please!
902
00:35:31,451 --> 00:35:31,690
Please!
903
00:35:31,691 --> 00:35:32,691
Please!
904
00:35:33,510 --> 00:35:33,990
No!
905
00:35:33,991 --> 00:35:36,190
But they're the backbone of the American
work force!
906
00:35:36,950 --> 00:35:38,730
And I'm too white to do those jobs.
907
00:35:39,235 --> 00:35:40,330
Let's cut to the chase.
908
00:35:40,690 --> 00:35:42,450
I'll ask you one question.
909
00:35:42,930 --> 00:35:45,270
If you answer correctly, you live.
910
00:35:45,970 --> 00:35:49,130
Who was the killer in Horror Movie?
911
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:50,990
Oh, that was easy.
912
00:35:51,070 --> 00:35:52,590
It was Bobby and then K.
913
00:35:52,670 --> 00:35:52,890
Ray.
914
00:35:53,090 --> 00:35:55,950
The guy who was totally into dudes,
even though he claimed he wasn't.
915
00:35:56,370 --> 00:35:57,750
Classic 2000's homophobia.
916
00:35:58,530 --> 00:35:59,410
But I got you, bitch.
917
00:35:59,411 --> 00:36:00,411
Wrong!
918
00:36:00,660 --> 00:36:02,570
You forgot Special Officer Doofy.
919
00:36:02,900 --> 00:36:04,150
Now you die.
920
00:36:13,090 --> 00:36:14,770
Bomboclat.
921
00:36:16,070 --> 00:36:18,350
You should probably answer that.
922
00:36:18,630 --> 00:36:21,570
I can literally see you trying to steal my
package.
923
00:36:23,130 --> 00:36:24,130
Oh, shit!
924
00:36:25,450 --> 00:36:26,450
That was easy.
925
00:36:29,870 --> 00:36:31,850
Someone order steaks.
926
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:32,890
Let's go, Puff.
927
00:36:35,570 --> 00:36:36,570
Wait a sec.
928
00:36:36,690 --> 00:36:37,250
Careful!
929
00:36:37,430 --> 00:36:38,910
You wouldn't want to let in a killer.
930
00:36:40,130 --> 00:36:43,750
You are about to identify as dead!
931
00:36:48,050 --> 00:36:51,230
You... stand like... a girl.
932
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:01,480
Face Shuffle!
933
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,020
The Ghostface Killer Collection Bundle.
934
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,380
This is Kiki West for OnlyFans Rapid News.
935
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:07,100
Rapid News?
936
00:37:07,180 --> 00:37:08,200
You mean Vapid News?
937
00:37:08,510 --> 00:37:09,880
You don't even have a camera, man!
938
00:37:10,060 --> 00:37:11,060
My appointment!
939
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:13,720
Excuse me.
940
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,720
Oh, my.
941
00:37:16,980 --> 00:37:18,421
You're... Yes, yes.
942
00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:22,740
Three-time Emmy nominee for outstanding
achievement in sensational reporting.
943
00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:27,120
I was gonna say the lady from Friends,
but shorter and with less Botox.
944
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:27,460
Oh.
945
00:37:27,700 --> 00:37:29,200
Is that what you were gonna say?
946
00:37:29,460 --> 00:37:29,680
Yeah.
947
00:37:29,720 --> 00:37:31,600
You seriously don't know who I am?
948
00:37:31,935 --> 00:37:34,081
Baby girl, I am
Gale... Gale Swallows!
949
00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:34,680
Hey.
950
00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:35,820
Gale Storm.
951
00:37:35,980 --> 00:37:37,780
Gale, Gale... Get the hell out of my way!
952
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:38,880
Oh.
953
00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:44,100
Doofus?
954
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:45,640
Hey, Gale.
955
00:37:47,250 --> 00:37:48,880
You haven't aged a day.
956
00:37:49,560 --> 00:37:50,860
You've aged like a million days.
957
00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:51,900
That's this many, right?
958
00:37:52,020 --> 00:37:53,441
Yeah, your fingers smell like genitals.
959
00:37:53,465 --> 00:37:55,500
What are you doing in that ridiculous
uniform?
960
00:37:56,060 --> 00:37:57,640
Uh, I'm back on the case.
961
00:37:58,270 --> 00:37:59,510
Yeah, I'm gonna bust Ghostface.
962
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:03,420
Well, um, tell me, Special Needs Officer
Doofy.
963
00:38:03,639 --> 00:38:04,639
Um...
964
00:38:04,874 --> 00:38:05,480
Wow.
965
00:38:05,540 --> 00:38:09,560
Are there any suspects in this tragic yet
completely predictable incident?
966
00:38:09,561 --> 00:38:10,980
I'm not allowed to say.
967
00:38:11,340 --> 00:38:12,000
No, no.
968
00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:12,580
Yes, you can.
969
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:12,900
Okay, no.
970
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:13,780
Yes, you can.
971
00:38:13,940 --> 00:38:14,740
Not again.
972
00:38:14,920 --> 00:38:15,540
Oh, okay.
973
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:16,160
Tell me.
974
00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:17,800
Oh, my God.
975
00:38:17,980 --> 00:38:18,980
Well thought.
976
00:38:20,680 --> 00:38:23,900
Hey, remember when you used to give
blowjobs for sensitive information?
977
00:38:24,900 --> 00:38:26,860
I don't give blowjobs anymore,
okay?
978
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:27,960
Not since Me Too.
979
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,200
Okay, sorry.
980
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,200
I give handjobs now, but the story better
be good.
981
00:38:32,470 --> 00:38:33,360
Okay, I'll do a handjob.
982
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:33,860
Let's do it.
983
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:34,960
Let's do it.
984
00:38:35,240 --> 00:38:36,240
Oh.
985
00:38:46,580 --> 00:38:47,580
What the...
986
00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:57,470
I'm gonna get you.
987
00:38:57,705 --> 00:38:58,806
I'll go right where you're gonna get you.
988
00:38:58,830 --> 00:38:58,970
Right?
989
00:38:59,390 --> 00:39:00,910
You got my outfit, you little critter.
990
00:39:04,450 --> 00:39:06,010
Maybe we shouldn't be legal.
991
00:39:09,430 --> 00:39:10,430
Fuck yeah, shit.
992
00:39:12,790 --> 00:39:13,190
Ah.
993
00:39:13,191 --> 00:39:14,191
Oh.
994
00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:22,610
Hello, shorty.
995
00:39:23,500 --> 00:39:26,030
You do know that smoking is bad for you.
996
00:39:26,620 --> 00:39:28,310
Well, actually, weed ain't bad for you.
997
00:39:28,810 --> 00:39:32,830
You got vitamin T, C, and H, C,
B, and D.
998
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:34,940
What's the matter, shorty?
999
00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:37,570
You look a little antsy.
1000
00:39:38,230 --> 00:39:42,970
Maybe because there's a masked serial
killer sipping tea in my den.
1001
00:39:43,430 --> 00:39:44,630
Shorty, you're my nigga.
1002
00:39:45,210 --> 00:39:46,210
I mean, friend.
1003
00:39:46,250 --> 00:39:46,770
Please.
1004
00:39:46,985 --> 00:39:48,050
All right.
1005
00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:53,440
Do you want to quit smoking?
1006
00:39:53,890 --> 00:39:55,930
Well, to be honest, I try to quit.
1007
00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,510
But my mother said I ain't raising no
quitters.
1008
00:40:00,750 --> 00:40:01,750
So I quit quitting.
1009
00:40:01,850 --> 00:40:02,850
We could try hypnosis.
1010
00:40:03,770 --> 00:40:07,910
Bro, I don't care how many pocket watches
you try and wave in front of my face.
1011
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:09,360
It ain't gonna work, son.
1012
00:40:09,590 --> 00:40:11,350
You can't magnetize me.
1013
00:40:11,570 --> 00:40:12,570
Sleep.
1014
00:40:15,804 --> 00:40:16,804
Shorty.
1015
00:40:19,270 --> 00:40:20,270
What's up?
1016
00:40:20,970 --> 00:40:22,910
Tell me about your mother.
1017
00:40:24,390 --> 00:40:25,390
Damn, nigga.
1018
00:40:25,875 --> 00:40:26,946
Let's start with something light.
1019
00:40:26,970 --> 00:40:28,630
Like, do you lick ass?
1020
00:40:28,850 --> 00:40:29,850
Yes or no?
1021
00:40:30,130 --> 00:40:31,130
The answer's yes.
1022
00:40:32,220 --> 00:40:34,410
So what happened to her, shorty?
1023
00:40:37,445 --> 00:40:38,445
She was coming home.
1024
00:40:39,980 --> 00:40:41,660
Her car was parked on the side of the
road.
1025
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:43,760
Someone was in it.
1026
00:40:44,950 --> 00:40:46,390
And something bad was happening.
1027
00:40:50,650 --> 00:40:52,250
Why didn't you call anyone?
1028
00:40:52,570 --> 00:40:53,570
I couldn't.
1029
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:55,200
I had warrants.
1030
00:40:55,270 --> 00:40:56,270
You were 11.
1031
00:40:57,265 --> 00:40:58,290
I started young, nigga.
1032
00:41:00,234 --> 00:41:02,370
What do you see?
1033
00:41:07,050 --> 00:41:10,290
I see a big explosion of water.
1034
00:41:12,030 --> 00:41:14,130
It was like a civil rights hose.
1035
00:41:18,450 --> 00:41:20,160
Police said it was a murder-suicide.
1036
00:41:22,140 --> 00:41:23,140
She killed that man.
1037
00:41:23,220 --> 00:41:26,700
When they opened the car door,
his limp body just slid out.
1038
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:32,600
Like the Green Digger in Shape of Water.
1039
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,220
I just didn't want it to be real.
1040
00:41:35,460 --> 00:41:37,040
What don't you want to be real?
1041
00:41:38,180 --> 00:41:40,180
That my mother was a squirter.
1042
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,040
Okay.
1043
00:41:42,240 --> 00:41:43,240
She's a squirter.
1044
00:41:43,300 --> 00:41:45,420
All the floors in her bedroom was warped.
1045
00:41:45,785 --> 00:41:46,785
I can't move.
1046
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,250
You're paralyzed.
1047
00:41:49,042 --> 00:41:50,142
Now.
1048
00:41:50,930 --> 00:41:52,930
Sink into the chair.
1049
00:41:52,481 --> 00:41:53,500
Wait, no, wait.
1050
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:54,600
Sink.
1051
00:42:17,140 --> 00:42:19,980
Oh, you're in a K-pop hole.
1052
00:42:27,050 --> 00:42:29,630
I smoked a bowl, now I'm so stoned.
1053
00:42:29,950 --> 00:42:31,330
Your mouth no queen.
1054
00:42:32,230 --> 00:42:33,730
Got me speaking Korean.
1055
00:42:34,190 --> 00:42:36,190
Oh shit, I got so high.
1056
00:42:36,250 --> 00:42:38,430
I was out of my mind.
1057
00:42:38,431 --> 00:42:41,390
I can't even feel my own face.
1058
00:42:42,230 --> 00:42:46,570
Was a problem child, smoking black in my
house.
1059
00:42:46,571 --> 00:42:49,330
Now I'm about to get laid.
1060
00:42:49,730 --> 00:42:50,830
Y'all about to get sprayed.
1061
00:42:51,050 --> 00:42:52,370
Now I'm flying.
1062
00:42:52,850 --> 00:42:54,470
Time for dining.
1063
00:42:54,850 --> 00:42:57,310
Cause I got the munchies.
1064
00:42:57,570 --> 00:42:58,310
Luke Skywalker.
1065
00:42:58,311 --> 00:43:02,430
They don't need a reason to bang these
demons.
1066
00:43:02,750 --> 00:43:05,010
Now it burns when I pee.
1067
00:43:06,250 --> 00:43:07,630
We going up.
1068
00:43:07,631 --> 00:43:08,750
Up, up, up.
1069
00:43:08,751 --> 00:43:09,751
Nigga, we smoking.
1070
00:43:10,130 --> 00:43:11,830
We about to be toking.
1071
00:43:12,170 --> 00:43:13,690
Gonna be, gonna be smoking.
1072
00:43:14,090 --> 00:43:15,170
Oh, oh, oh.
1073
00:43:15,270 --> 00:43:16,550
Up, up, up.
1074
00:43:16,810 --> 00:43:17,850
Nigga, we smoking.
1075
00:43:18,170 --> 00:43:19,890
Nigga, we about to be toking.
1076
00:43:20,190 --> 00:43:21,730
Gonna be, gonna be smoking.
1077
00:43:30,330 --> 00:43:31,780
That dream was wild.
1078
00:43:31,795 --> 00:43:33,750
I must have been Elon Musk high.
1079
00:43:37,820 --> 00:43:39,100
Oh, Chinchashima.
1080
00:43:47,500 --> 00:43:48,500
Tuesday?
1081
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:50,440
Tuesday?
1082
00:43:53,940 --> 00:43:54,940
Bobby?
1083
00:43:57,620 --> 00:43:58,700
Bobby, what the?
1084
00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:02,060
She's gonna die.
1085
00:44:02,660 --> 00:44:03,660
Our daughter, Sarah?
1086
00:44:04,300 --> 00:44:05,100
You're probably right.
1087
00:44:05,200 --> 00:44:06,920
She's tough, but let's see her again.
1088
00:44:06,940 --> 00:44:07,940
Get stabbed in the cut.
1089
00:44:08,330 --> 00:44:09,330
I'm gonna die.
1090
00:44:09,720 --> 00:44:11,280
Bobby, you're already dead.
1091
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:15,620
This hallucination is a manifestation of
my own guilt for being an awful mom.
1092
00:44:16,290 --> 00:44:17,980
Or it could be the shrooms I just popped.
1093
00:44:19,780 --> 00:44:20,780
You're gonna die.
1094
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:23,680
Bitch, you ain't killing me.
1095
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:30,740
You're gonna die.
1096
00:44:32,260 --> 00:44:33,620
Stop smiling.
1097
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:35,280
I can't.
1098
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:36,120
Botox.
1099
00:44:36,121 --> 00:44:36,640
Hey!
1100
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:37,580
Oh.
1101
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:39,720
This is the mental ward.
1102
00:44:40,380 --> 00:44:41,420
Everyone smiles in here.
1103
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:41,960
What?
1104
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:43,520
Oh.
1105
00:44:45,030 --> 00:44:47,030
Um, could you point me in the direction of
the ICU?
1106
00:44:47,440 --> 00:44:48,560
Is it that way or that way?
1107
00:44:49,290 --> 00:44:50,410
Uh, visiting hours are over.
1108
00:44:50,580 --> 00:44:51,580
Oh, yes, of course.
1109
00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:57,680
The network wants me to clarify that Black
Friday has nothing to do with race.
1110
00:44:58,175 --> 00:45:00,348
Well, just tell that to my
black friend, Benita, who's
1111
00:45:00,349 --> 00:45:03,220
probably clocking someone over
the head at Target as we speak.
1112
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:04,440
Right, Benita?
1113
00:45:20,164 --> 00:45:21,164
Chamoun!
1114
00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:23,180
Man, you ain't Micah's.
1115
00:45:23,630 --> 00:45:24,820
Micah's got that jerry curl.
1116
00:45:25,210 --> 00:45:26,210
What is that, son?
1117
00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:27,240
Is that shellac?
1118
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,440
See, people think it's shellac,
but it's actually Sharpie.
1119
00:45:30,545 --> 00:45:31,920
Boy, your hair look like fondue.
1120
00:45:32,100 --> 00:45:33,100
And dirty.
1121
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:34,280
Micah's got a monkey.
1122
00:45:34,390 --> 00:45:35,390
I got a llama.
1123
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:37,880
Fuck Micah.
1124
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,400
You can't dance, boy.
1125
00:45:39,860 --> 00:45:40,860
I've been practicing.
1126
00:45:41,720 --> 00:45:42,720
Wow!
1127
00:45:45,020 --> 00:45:46,020
Yeah!
1128
00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:49,360
I can moonwalk.
1129
00:45:49,361 --> 00:45:49,800
Ooh!
1130
00:45:50,260 --> 00:45:51,260
Ooh!
1131
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:51,680
Ooh!
1132
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:54,040
Where is this nigga going?
1133
00:45:54,380 --> 00:45:55,580
Dude, get two!
1134
00:45:56,020 --> 00:45:56,400
Ow!
1135
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:56,820
Yeah!
1136
00:45:56,940 --> 00:45:57,400
Ow!
1137
00:45:57,840 --> 00:45:58,840
Woo!
1138
00:45:59,620 --> 00:46:00,620
Jermaine.
1139
00:46:03,310 --> 00:46:04,500
Coming Juneteenth.
1140
00:46:04,620 --> 00:46:06,160
Only on Tubi.
1141
00:46:09,490 --> 00:46:10,640
I'ma bootleg that shit.
1142
00:46:13,080 --> 00:46:14,080
Hello?
1143
00:46:15,300 --> 00:46:16,300
Fuck this.
1144
00:46:21,430 --> 00:46:22,530
I'm gonna miss you.
1145
00:46:22,531 --> 00:46:23,531
I'ma miss you all.
1146
00:46:23,690 --> 00:46:24,690
Hell
1147
00:46:29,610 --> 00:46:29,910
no!
1148
00:46:30,130 --> 00:46:31,150
Stay black, don't die!
1149
00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:32,470
Stay black, don't die!
1150
00:46:45,994 --> 00:46:46,494
Jack.
1151
00:46:46,818 --> 00:46:47,818
Did Sara tell you the cops?
1152
00:46:47,995 --> 00:46:48,995
Um, yeah!
1153
00:46:49,870 --> 00:46:50,870
That's why I'm here.
1154
00:46:51,430 --> 00:46:54,320
Not to murder you or anything like that.
1155
00:46:54,590 --> 00:46:55,870
Then why are you wearing gloves?
1156
00:46:56,990 --> 00:47:02,000
Would you believe I am thinking about
dressing up as OJ Simpson for Halloween?
1157
00:47:02,360 --> 00:47:03,360
But those fit.
1158
00:47:04,340 --> 00:47:05,340
Look out!
1159
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:05,660
Oh!
1160
00:47:05,900 --> 00:47:07,860
Yuck, cool bro, you almost did a fade!
1161
00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:09,240
I mean... Help!
1162
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:10,100
Oh!
1163
00:47:10,420 --> 00:47:10,940
Oh!
1164
00:47:10,941 --> 00:47:11,460
Oh!
1165
00:47:11,461 --> 00:47:11,700
Oh!
1166
00:47:11,701 --> 00:47:11,940
Oh!
1167
00:47:11,941 --> 00:47:11,980
Oh!
1168
00:47:11,981 --> 00:47:12,000
Oh!
1169
00:47:12,001 --> 00:47:12,140
No.
1170
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:12,700
Pride in disguise.
1171
00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:14,320
Oh, yeah!
1172
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:16,500
Ah!
1173
00:47:16,760 --> 00:47:17,760
Ugh.
1174
00:47:17,840 --> 00:47:18,840
Ah!
1175
00:47:25,844 --> 00:47:28,140
I'ma to gut you like a pig!
1176
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:33,680
Get her!
1177
00:47:34,660 --> 00:47:41,910
I'm gonna... That is so true!
1178
00:47:42,210 --> 00:47:44,650
What are you gonna do, turn me into bacon?
1179
00:47:44,990 --> 00:47:50,810
Fuck the Better Riders!
1180
00:47:50,811 --> 00:47:53,330
I'm laughing so hard my ribs hurt!
1181
00:47:53,590 --> 00:47:56,530
Wait until I stick my knife in them!
1182
00:47:58,310 --> 00:48:05,580
Crying over here!
1183
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:08,320
Before you kill me!
1184
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,040
I'm gonna die laughing first!
1185
00:48:38,900 --> 00:48:40,220
don't want what they're offering.
1186
00:48:42,890 --> 00:48:45,570
I'm gonna turn you into beetles,
little piggies!
1187
00:48:58,350 --> 00:48:59,270
Excuse me!
1188
00:48:59,271 --> 00:49:00,030
Out of our way!
1189
00:49:00,210 --> 00:49:01,210
Step aside!
1190
00:49:01,450 --> 00:49:02,630
Official police business!
1191
00:49:03,190 --> 00:49:04,190
Doofy!
1192
00:49:04,750 --> 00:49:05,750
Smile,
1193
00:49:09,210 --> 00:49:10,210
you son of a bitch!
1194
00:49:11,330 --> 00:49:12,010
What the?
1195
00:49:12,250 --> 00:49:15,750
My psycho mother said, always keep a
strap!
1196
00:49:17,610 --> 00:49:18,210
Go!
1197
00:49:18,450 --> 00:49:18,630
Go!
1198
00:49:18,631 --> 00:49:20,130
I'm gonna go get your love interest.
1199
00:49:20,430 --> 00:49:21,550
I'll get your love interest.
1200
00:49:21,810 --> 00:49:21,930
Ow!
1201
00:49:22,270 --> 00:49:23,570
The pain!
1202
00:49:23,750 --> 00:49:24,790
The agony!
1203
00:49:25,209 --> 00:49:26,209
Sarah!
1204
00:49:26,730 --> 00:49:27,750
If I don't make it...
1205
00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,310
Seriously, two, stop trying to win an
Oscar.
1206
00:49:30,430 --> 00:49:31,310
It's a horror movie.
1207
00:49:31,430 --> 00:49:32,430
It'll never happen.
1208
00:49:33,225 --> 00:49:34,225
Just ask Demi Moore.
1209
00:49:35,290 --> 00:49:35,750
No!
1210
00:49:35,751 --> 00:49:36,210
No!
1211
00:49:36,310 --> 00:49:36,770
No!
1212
00:49:36,950 --> 00:49:39,010
Look at Jack!
1213
00:49:42,170 --> 00:49:43,430
Doofy, what the fuck?
1214
00:49:43,950 --> 00:49:45,230
I'm just gonna get out myself.
1215
00:49:48,370 --> 00:49:49,750
It's just me and you now, ghosty.
1216
00:49:52,575 --> 00:49:54,150
You gotta shoot him in the head.
1217
00:49:54,830 --> 00:49:55,870
Shoot him in the head.
1218
00:49:58,790 --> 00:49:59,830
Doofy.
1219
00:50:04,650 --> 00:50:05,690
Well done, Rambo.
1220
00:50:05,691 --> 00:50:08,810
A little dustsum?
1221
00:50:08,970 --> 00:50:12,350
now my... finger.
1222
00:50:13,370 --> 00:50:14,410
God!
1223
00:50:14,910 --> 00:50:16,490
What the fuck was that?
1224
00:50:16,990 --> 00:50:19,030
My ass!
1225
00:50:19,450 --> 00:50:20,930
Fuck your ass.
1226
00:50:20,970 --> 00:50:21,970
Pause.
1227
00:50:24,450 --> 00:50:25,490
That's my ass.
1228
00:50:25,770 --> 00:50:27,490
Any last words?
1229
00:50:28,515 --> 00:50:30,050
I go poopy.
1230
00:50:34,350 --> 00:50:36,130
Oh, hell no.
1231
00:50:36,290 --> 00:50:37,510
I ain't cleaning up that shit.
1232
00:50:37,970 --> 00:50:38,970
I'm on break.
1233
00:50:39,260 --> 00:50:39,870
Come on.
1234
00:50:39,930 --> 00:50:41,730
I need the killing, not the cleaning.
1235
00:50:42,370 --> 00:50:43,370
What'd you say?
1236
00:50:43,470 --> 00:50:44,470
Never mind.
1237
00:50:44,890 --> 00:50:46,310
Yo, what's up, chat?
1238
00:50:46,590 --> 00:50:47,750
It's your boy Shorty.
1239
00:50:47,751 --> 00:50:49,430
That's right, it's another
Halloween-a-thon.
1240
00:50:49,431 --> 00:50:54,810
And it's another day of me getting paid
mad money for doing absolutely nothing.
1241
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:57,040
Why, you stupid motherfuckers,
watch out.
1242
00:50:57,710 --> 00:50:58,890
He didn't call me dumb.
1243
00:50:59,230 --> 00:51:01,530
I want to give a smooth shout-out to my
sponsor.
1244
00:51:03,095 --> 00:51:05,090
Angry Orchard Hard Cider.
1245
00:51:06,360 --> 00:51:08,550
They got mad apples, son.
1246
00:51:10,590 --> 00:51:11,590
No!
1247
00:51:11,830 --> 00:51:13,310
We created this, baby.
1248
00:51:13,630 --> 00:51:14,790
I'm a marketing genius.
1249
00:51:15,255 --> 00:51:18,210
All right, it wouldn't be a
Halloween-a-thon without a dope guest.
1250
00:51:18,350 --> 00:51:19,410
He's a legend in the street market.
1251
00:51:19,430 --> 00:51:21,790
Give it up for Kyle Simmons!
1252
00:51:31,580 --> 00:51:32,580
Let's get serious.
1253
00:51:32,815 --> 00:51:33,935
What brings you to the chat?
1254
00:51:34,760 --> 00:51:36,320
You promised I was gonna be in a movie.
1255
00:51:36,380 --> 00:51:37,380
I've been calling you.
1256
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:38,440
You're close to me.
1257
00:51:39,430 --> 00:51:42,300
Bro, I thought that was one of my
crazy-ass baby mamas.
1258
00:51:42,301 --> 00:51:43,500
That's my band.
1259
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaking of ghosting...
1260
00:51:46,170 --> 00:51:47,290
somebody was talking to you.
1261
00:51:48,240 --> 00:51:48,680
Hello?
1262
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:50,980
What's your favorite scary movie?
1263
00:51:53,100 --> 00:51:54,340
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Damn!
1264
00:52:01,340 --> 00:52:02,380
Hell no!
1265
00:52:02,420 --> 00:52:03,600
Hell no!
1266
00:52:03,700 --> 00:52:05,500
We breakin' the internet, son!
1267
00:52:05,900 --> 00:52:06,960
What's up, my guy?
1268
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,160
We've got some Angry Orchard Hard Cider in
the house.
1269
00:52:09,161 --> 00:52:09,560
Damn right!
1270
00:52:09,950 --> 00:52:11,300
They got mad apples.
1271
00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:13,600
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA What's up?
1272
00:52:19,150 --> 00:52:20,530
What if I do my favorite thing?
1273
00:52:20,854 --> 00:52:22,970
Spin the wheel!
1274
00:52:26,390 --> 00:52:30,490
We gonna go back there with these noodles
and we gonna smack the fuck out of you.
1275
00:52:30,530 --> 00:52:31,810
Now you gotta guess who did it.
1276
00:52:31,850 --> 00:52:32,970
It doesn't even make sense.
1277
00:52:33,430 --> 00:52:34,810
This is a dumb game.
1278
00:52:36,490 --> 00:52:37,490
Oh.
1279
00:52:37,910 --> 00:52:38,910
Oh.
1280
00:52:39,170 --> 00:52:39,650
God.
1281
00:52:40,050 --> 00:52:40,530
God.
1282
00:52:40,930 --> 00:52:41,410
God.
1283
00:52:41,490 --> 00:52:42,490
God.
1284
00:52:43,010 --> 00:52:44,010
God.
1285
00:52:46,290 --> 00:52:46,770
God.
1286
00:52:47,010 --> 00:52:47,490
God.
1287
00:52:47,930 --> 00:52:48,170
God.
1288
00:52:48,410 --> 00:52:49,410
God.
1289
00:52:52,970 --> 00:52:55,910
Let's kill Casanet on the chair.
1290
00:52:57,194 --> 00:52:58,890
We making history, son!
1291
00:52:59,990 --> 00:53:01,070
Money, money, money!
1292
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,920
It's about time you guys got here.
1293
00:53:29,300 --> 00:53:30,360
Now you're gonna get it.
1294
00:53:32,800 --> 00:53:33,280
God!
1295
00:53:33,281 --> 00:53:33,760
God!
1296
00:53:33,761 --> 00:53:33,900
God!
1297
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:35,280
Hold still!
1298
00:53:36,210 --> 00:53:37,210
So that's our suspect.
1299
00:53:37,520 --> 00:53:39,540
Goes by the name Shorthand.
1300
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:43,760
Was the handyman at a house reputed to be
haunted in 2001.
1301
00:53:45,024 --> 00:53:46,624
Is there anything you're not telling me?
1302
00:53:47,260 --> 00:53:48,260
That your wife hates you.
1303
00:53:49,065 --> 00:53:50,265
You believe the Earth is flat.
1304
00:53:50,710 --> 00:53:51,710
And you voted for Trump.
1305
00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:53,120
Three times.
1306
00:53:53,180 --> 00:53:54,860
Now what, I supposed to vote for the
woman?
1307
00:53:55,100 --> 00:53:56,100
Huh?
1308
00:53:56,420 --> 00:53:59,480
I believe Shorthand is the notorious
Ghostface.
1309
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:02,500
What'd that mouth do?
1310
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:07,340
He did look pretty sketchy.
1311
00:54:11,180 --> 00:54:12,280
I got the wrong guy.
1312
00:54:13,225 --> 00:54:14,865
And you know that because you're psychic?
1313
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:15,480
No.
1314
00:54:15,640 --> 00:54:17,220
It says so on the arrest warrant.
1315
00:54:19,185 --> 00:54:20,185
I don't know.
1316
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:21,740
That guy's black.
1317
00:54:22,420 --> 00:54:24,200
He's kinda... not that black.
1318
00:54:24,510 --> 00:54:26,100
Like gravy brown.
1319
00:54:29,840 --> 00:54:31,060
Hit him with your strong hand.
1320
00:54:33,020 --> 00:54:34,020
Arrest him anyways.
1321
00:54:34,595 --> 00:54:35,795
Probably did something, right?
1322
00:54:36,420 --> 00:54:37,660
Turn off your body cam!
1323
00:54:38,960 --> 00:54:40,860
Miss Hailstorm, welcome back.
1324
00:54:41,250 --> 00:54:42,600
Doc, I'm begging you.
1325
00:54:42,860 --> 00:54:44,100
You gotta help me look younger.
1326
00:54:44,345 --> 00:54:45,956
These little bitches are killing me out
there.
1327
00:54:45,980 --> 00:54:48,760
They're wearing nothing but a sausage
casing and a ring light.
1328
00:54:48,980 --> 00:54:53,540
Trust me with this weathered, decrepit,
age-ravaged body.
1329
00:54:54,235 --> 00:54:55,360
And I will make you whole.
1330
00:54:55,361 --> 00:54:58,100
One middle-aged white lady special coming
right up.
1331
00:54:58,140 --> 00:54:58,540
Thanks.
1332
00:54:59,140 --> 00:55:01,706
I'm gonna play a quick video on the ins
and outs of the procedure.
1333
00:55:01,730 --> 00:55:02,810
And then we'll get started.
1334
00:55:06,540 --> 00:55:09,120
Do you wish you weren't so old and saggy?
1335
00:55:10,040 --> 00:55:14,320
Do you wish you were younger, sexier,
fuckable again?
1336
00:55:14,820 --> 00:55:20,400
One single injection unlocks your DNA,
creating a new, better you.
1337
00:55:22,240 --> 00:55:23,960
This is the stuff.
1338
00:55:25,360 --> 00:55:29,260
Doc, this isn't that Gwyneth Paltrow crap
that makes you smell like her badge,
1339
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:30,400
is it?
1340
00:55:33,765 --> 00:55:34,765
I like it.
1341
00:55:37,559 --> 00:55:38,559
Oh!
1342
00:55:40,140 --> 00:55:41,140
Oh!
1343
00:55:51,020 --> 00:55:52,700
Wow, that's a lot of stuff.
1344
00:55:52,701 --> 00:55:56,040
Ooh, a mask on a mask.
1345
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,280
Safety first, right, Doc?
1346
00:55:59,100 --> 00:55:59,820
Oh!
1347
00:55:59,940 --> 00:56:00,660
Oh!
1348
00:56:00,860 --> 00:56:01,860
Oh, no!
1349
00:56:02,300 --> 00:56:02,540
Oh!
1350
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:03,480
Oh!
1351
00:56:03,481 --> 00:56:05,320
I was having second thoughts.
1352
00:56:05,480 --> 00:56:07,880
I'm gonna love and accept myself after I
am.
1353
00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:09,200
Ah!
1354
00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:15,280
Ah!
1355
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:16,520
Ah!
1356
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:17,360
Ah!
1357
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:18,180
Ah!
1358
00:56:18,181 --> 00:56:18,420
Ah!
1359
00:56:18,440 --> 00:56:19,040
Ah!
1360
00:56:19,041 --> 00:56:19,520
Ah!
1361
00:56:19,521 --> 00:56:19,700
Ah!
1362
00:56:19,860 --> 00:56:20,580
Ah!
1363
00:56:20,581 --> 00:56:21,581
Ah!
1364
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:22,920
Ah!
1365
00:57:11,670 --> 00:57:12,060
Oops.
1366
00:57:12,090 --> 00:57:13,090
Wrong movie.
1367
00:57:13,280 --> 00:57:14,280
Ha-ha-hahaha.
1368
00:57:14,620 --> 00:57:16,580
... You were thinking it.
1369
00:57:16,740 --> 00:57:17,740
But you said it.
1370
00:57:18,780 --> 00:57:20,920
White chicks to my ass.
1371
00:57:29,500 --> 00:57:31,000
Hey, Sarah.
1372
00:57:32,394 --> 00:57:35,540
Tuesday, I tried to visit you.
1373
00:57:36,180 --> 00:57:37,940
I am sorry for everything.
1374
00:57:38,770 --> 00:57:39,860
Especially your name.
1375
00:57:40,680 --> 00:57:41,680
It was Taco Tuesday.
1376
00:57:41,720 --> 00:57:42,940
I was super drunk.
1377
00:57:42,941 --> 00:57:45,860
But I promise you, I will kill this
motherfucker.
1378
00:57:46,580 --> 00:57:47,656
It's fine, really, we're cool.
1379
00:57:47,680 --> 00:57:49,220
I'm gonna hold the car up.
1380
00:57:49,420 --> 00:57:51,400
I'm going to take you to the car.
1381
00:57:51,620 --> 00:57:53,480
I got stabbed to my death, you dumbass!
1382
00:57:53,810 --> 00:57:56,240
I'm taking twos away from all of this.
1383
00:57:57,690 --> 00:58:02,940
I tried to run two, but it follows.
1384
00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:07,940
Now you're probably expecting a flashback
to that movie, but it's too obscure.
1385
00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:09,556
Yeah, and the plot is weird.
1386
00:58:09,580 --> 00:58:12,820
You have sex with someone, give them an
SCD, and then it haunts them.
1387
00:58:12,821 --> 00:58:14,221
In the form of their naked grandma.
1388
00:58:14,280 --> 00:58:15,720
It's like an SCD by epic.
1389
00:58:16,100 --> 00:58:17,820
The killer is taunting me.
1390
00:58:18,110 --> 00:58:19,380
Why doesn't he just kill us?
1391
00:58:19,760 --> 00:58:20,760
Speak for yourself.
1392
00:58:21,260 --> 00:58:22,500
Like, what are you waiting for?
1393
00:58:22,965 --> 00:58:24,060
Oh, no, no, no, sweetie.
1394
00:58:24,290 --> 00:58:25,290
Sweetie, it's like this.
1395
00:58:26,920 --> 00:58:29,220
What are you waiting for, huh?
1396
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:38,190
What are you for?
1397
00:58:38,191 --> 00:58:39,910
God, I wish you weren't my mother.
1398
00:58:39,911 --> 00:58:41,350
What are you waiting for?
1399
00:58:42,470 --> 00:58:43,470
Girl.
1400
00:58:44,010 --> 00:58:45,010
Candyman.
1401
00:58:45,770 --> 00:58:46,770
Candyman.
1402
00:58:47,859 --> 00:58:48,859
Candyman.
1403
00:58:49,094 --> 00:58:50,550
You sure about this?
1404
00:58:50,670 --> 00:58:51,030
Yeah.
1405
00:58:51,359 --> 00:58:52,590
Keep saying it.
1406
00:58:53,629 --> 00:58:54,629
Candyman?
1407
00:58:56,430 --> 00:58:57,430
Candyman.
1408
00:58:59,930 --> 00:59:00,930
God.
1409
00:59:14,940 --> 00:59:15,840
So what's up?
1410
00:59:15,880 --> 00:59:17,000
You got that Candyman?
1411
00:59:17,990 --> 00:59:22,900
I got weed gummies, K-nuts, shroom chops.
1412
00:59:23,480 --> 00:59:25,960
And what take you so long to show up?
1413
00:59:26,060 --> 00:59:27,060
Come on, Clarence.
1414
00:59:27,190 --> 00:59:28,660
I called you five times.
1415
00:59:29,015 --> 00:59:30,480
Nigga, show up in three.
1416
00:59:30,481 --> 00:59:32,280
You ain't even call me on the phone.
1417
00:59:32,970 --> 00:59:35,860
Luckily, I was walking by, and heard y'all
through the hole in this wall.
1418
00:59:36,455 --> 00:59:37,100
Fix that shit.
1419
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:38,320
You shut your ass up.
1420
00:59:38,620 --> 00:59:41,720
You need to go to a proctologist and get
your skin looked at.
1421
00:59:41,920 --> 00:59:44,700
Having acne over the age of 40 is wild
work.
1422
00:59:45,180 --> 00:59:46,366
I look better than this nigga.
1423
00:59:46,390 --> 00:59:47,260
Maybe on this side.
1424
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:48,376
Hey, ain't no time for beating.
1425
00:59:48,400 --> 00:59:49,720
We about to be high as smoke.
1426
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:50,900
We gonna party, son.
1427
00:59:51,160 --> 00:59:52,160
Ha, ha, ha!
1428
00:59:54,900 --> 00:59:56,060
Happy Halloween, y'all.
1429
00:59:56,520 --> 00:59:57,800
Watch out for those babies.
1430
00:59:58,160 --> 00:59:58,720
That's right.
1431
00:59:58,760 --> 00:59:59,760
Take care.
1432
01:00:00,180 --> 01:00:01,180
Yes!
1433
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:02,460
I love it!
1434
01:00:02,461 --> 01:00:03,000
Look at that!
1435
01:00:03,380 --> 01:00:04,380
Looking good.
1436
01:00:04,980 --> 01:00:05,980
You seen your sister?
1437
01:00:07,780 --> 01:00:10,140
Ray, you seen Gay?
1438
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:13,040
I can't find her since she went to that
protest.
1439
01:00:13,500 --> 01:00:14,500
No.
1440
01:00:15,674 --> 01:00:17,400
Ray, let me get.
1441
01:00:17,620 --> 01:00:19,740
You are Woody from Toy Story!
1442
01:00:20,160 --> 01:00:21,300
No, Brenda, that's Gay.
1443
01:00:22,000 --> 01:00:24,200
Jake Gyllenhaal from Brokeback Mountain.
1444
01:00:24,800 --> 01:00:27,800
I wish I knew how to quit you,
but I can't.
1445
01:00:29,279 --> 01:00:30,720
You love that movie!
1446
01:00:31,380 --> 01:00:32,100
Hey, Brenda.
1447
01:00:32,400 --> 01:00:32,720
Huh?
1448
01:00:33,180 --> 01:00:35,120
Have you seen my big old bag of candy?
1449
01:00:35,280 --> 01:00:38,120
It had chocolates, gummies, lollipops.
1450
01:00:38,660 --> 01:00:39,600
It's going missing.
1451
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:40,120
No, no, no.
1452
01:00:40,280 --> 01:00:41,060
It's not missing.
1453
01:00:41,080 --> 01:00:42,720
I passed it out to the trick-or-treaters.
1454
01:00:43,080 --> 01:00:44,080
Brenda!
1455
01:00:44,300 --> 01:00:45,520
That's my stash!
1456
01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:16,100
Six seven!
1457
01:01:16,940 --> 01:01:17,940
Six seven!
1458
01:01:53,240 --> 01:01:54,860
Why is she looking at me?
1459
01:01:57,340 --> 01:01:59,160
I'm a little disturbed over here.
1460
01:01:59,300 --> 01:02:00,860
I'm here for it.
1461
01:02:17,055 --> 01:02:18,055
Hey!
1462
01:02:18,080 --> 01:02:21,480
Do you know how many baby seals die from
microplastics?
1463
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:30,160
Shit!
1464
01:02:30,500 --> 01:02:31,060
Yeah!
1465
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:32,120
It's God's face!
1466
01:02:36,180 --> 01:02:37,300
My God!
1467
01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:38,680
He stabbed her!
1468
01:02:38,840 --> 01:02:39,680
Not her!
1469
01:02:39,840 --> 01:02:41,620
My pronouns are they-them!
1470
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:43,040
He stabbed them!
1471
01:02:43,300 --> 01:02:44,100
I'm over 40!
1472
01:02:44,260 --> 01:02:46,200
How am I supposed to keep up with all of
this?
1473
01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:47,440
She's not wrong.
1474
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:52,540
It's Karens like you that keep the patriarchy
going with their knees on our knees!
1475
01:02:52,541 --> 01:02:55,060
Now you're playing the race card?
1476
01:02:55,300 --> 01:02:56,840
Then enough of her shit.
1477
01:02:57,000 --> 01:02:58,000
Their shit, bitch!
1478
01:03:00,420 --> 01:03:04,540
And to be clear, my real name is Karens!
1479
01:03:05,200 --> 01:03:06,900
Oh shit, this is too good.
1480
01:03:07,060 --> 01:03:08,280
Ignore the insults.
1481
01:03:08,281 --> 01:03:10,800
They don't realize we're here to help
them.
1482
01:03:11,060 --> 01:03:15,260
Toxic masculinity and mansplaining doesn't
help anybody.
1483
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:17,280
How is my masculinity toxic?
1484
01:03:17,620 --> 01:03:19,100
I love women and sports.
1485
01:03:19,520 --> 01:03:20,740
Just not together.
1486
01:03:21,000 --> 01:03:22,000
Come here, bitch.
1487
01:03:22,880 --> 01:03:24,460
I thought-Be next!
1488
01:03:24,500 --> 01:03:25,640
They ain't ready for this!
1489
01:03:25,780 --> 01:03:27,060
We out there to be next!
1490
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:27,940
Fuck you, brother!
1491
01:03:27,941 --> 01:03:28,360
Oh shit!
1492
01:03:28,400 --> 01:03:29,400
So nice!
1493
01:03:32,780 --> 01:03:34,520
I blame the man, it's for you.
1494
01:03:39,620 --> 01:03:40,500
Uncle Shorty.
1495
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:41,560
What's up, nephew?
1496
01:03:42,210 --> 01:03:43,210
Can I ask you something?
1497
01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,000
Yeah, shoot.
1498
01:03:46,270 --> 01:03:49,740
It's about, you know, how to go down on a
girl.
1499
01:03:50,620 --> 01:03:51,860
You talking about eating pussy?
1500
01:03:52,734 --> 01:03:54,700
It's so cringe, but yeah.
1501
01:03:54,860 --> 01:03:58,860
So maybe if you stop talking like a 14-year-old
white girl, you can learn something.
1502
01:03:59,099 --> 01:04:00,580
All right, so listen up.
1503
01:04:01,040 --> 01:04:03,260
First thing you gotta do, you gotta spread
them legs.
1504
01:04:03,360 --> 01:04:04,200
You gotta open it up.
1505
01:04:04,320 --> 01:04:05,600
Then you wanna use your fingers.
1506
01:04:06,160 --> 01:04:07,200
Sometimes you can use two.
1507
01:04:07,610 --> 01:04:08,860
Two fingers, like that there.
1508
01:04:09,060 --> 01:04:09,380
Yeah?
1509
01:04:09,720 --> 01:04:13,980
Now once you get it all in there,
now you gotta use your tongue.
1510
01:04:14,290 --> 01:04:15,480
You can't be afraid of it.
1511
01:04:17,660 --> 01:04:20,060
Yeah, lean into it.
1512
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:21,160
No, no, no.
1513
01:04:21,180 --> 01:04:22,180
You're doing it too fast.
1514
01:04:23,180 --> 01:04:23,960
How you doing?
1515
01:04:23,961 --> 01:04:24,300
You a lizard?
1516
01:04:24,910 --> 01:04:25,680
You gotta be gentle.
1517
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:26,420
You gotta talk to her.
1518
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:28,040
Hey, little guy.
1519
01:04:28,200 --> 01:04:29,240
What you doing?
1520
01:04:30,760 --> 01:04:31,240
Boom.
1521
01:04:31,594 --> 01:04:33,280
It's like rolling a blunt.
1522
01:04:33,740 --> 01:04:35,500
All you gotta do, nephew...
1523
01:04:38,624 --> 01:04:39,940
is hit that shit.
1524
01:04:41,299 --> 01:04:42,060
Got it?
1525
01:04:42,140 --> 01:04:42,600
Mm-hmm.
1526
01:04:42,680 --> 01:04:43,680
All right, now.
1527
01:04:43,970 --> 01:04:46,900
If you wanna learn to lick ass,
ask your mama.
1528
01:04:49,360 --> 01:04:51,720
Oh, you feel so good.
1529
01:04:51,780 --> 01:04:52,780
You're a little too much.
1530
01:04:53,664 --> 01:04:54,880
Oh, yeah!
1531
01:04:57,250 --> 01:04:58,450
Elle, I want to try something.
1532
01:04:58,620 --> 01:05:00,820
I thought you said you'd never let me peg
you.
1533
01:05:01,060 --> 01:05:01,320
What?
1534
01:05:01,420 --> 01:05:02,420
No!
1535
01:05:02,780 --> 01:05:03,780
Relax.
1536
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:05,420
I just want to taste you.
1537
01:05:07,200 --> 01:05:08,200
Okay.
1538
01:05:10,780 --> 01:05:11,780
Dinner time.
1539
01:05:12,740 --> 01:05:13,620
Oh, yeah.
1540
01:05:13,680 --> 01:05:14,680
Come here, baby.
1541
01:05:17,140 --> 01:05:18,140
Careful.
1542
01:05:18,800 --> 01:05:20,040
My kitty's a gangster.
1543
01:05:22,020 --> 01:05:23,360
Oh, it is gangster.
1544
01:05:23,700 --> 01:05:24,700
Okay.
1545
01:05:24,855 --> 01:05:26,455
Slapped you so hard, you want some more?
1546
01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:27,600
Yeah.
1547
01:05:31,520 --> 01:05:35,220
You feel so much better than Daryl and
them.
1548
01:05:35,560 --> 01:05:36,380
Choo-choo!
1549
01:05:36,420 --> 01:05:37,640
Get back in there!
1550
01:05:37,780 --> 01:05:38,060
Yeah!
1551
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:39,040
Lick it!
1552
01:05:39,160 --> 01:05:40,160
Yeah!
1553
01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:41,500
Lick it hard!
1554
01:05:42,520 --> 01:05:43,520
Finish her.
1555
01:05:44,170 --> 01:05:47,360
Oh, my God!
1556
01:05:51,590 --> 01:05:52,630
Just like rolling a blunt.
1557
01:05:54,090 --> 01:05:55,420
Now all I gotta do is hit it.
1558
01:05:58,720 --> 01:05:59,720
Ow!
1559
01:06:03,840 --> 01:06:04,860
What the fuck?
1560
01:06:05,140 --> 01:06:05,640
Hey, there.
1561
01:06:06,060 --> 01:06:07,740
We heard tell of a Halloween party.
1562
01:06:08,420 --> 01:06:09,800
You didn't now, did you?
1563
01:06:09,980 --> 01:06:13,440
We're here to drink, play bad music,
do some half-gay shit.
1564
01:06:14,180 --> 01:06:15,400
Why just half-gay?
1565
01:06:15,920 --> 01:06:16,860
Can I help you?
1566
01:06:16,861 --> 01:06:18,880
If you just invite us in.
1567
01:06:19,380 --> 01:06:20,700
Why you need an invitation?
1568
01:06:21,020 --> 01:06:23,012
White folks show up
to parties uninvited all
1569
01:06:23,013 --> 01:06:25,360
the time with their
little nasty-ass casseroles.
1570
01:06:25,620 --> 01:06:26,240
Bland as shit.
1571
01:06:26,300 --> 01:06:27,760
Y'all better start using some Lowry.
1572
01:06:27,880 --> 01:06:28,320
Mm-hmm.
1573
01:06:28,460 --> 01:06:30,600
And why she got them dirty-ass feet?
1574
01:06:30,700 --> 01:06:32,880
Look like you was walking around porn sets
all day.
1575
01:06:32,980 --> 01:06:34,380
Got them trailer park toes.
1576
01:06:34,800 --> 01:06:35,800
Jesus!
1577
01:06:35,920 --> 01:06:37,440
I think you're in the wrong place.
1578
01:06:37,900 --> 01:06:38,900
Y'all clean?
1579
01:06:40,300 --> 01:06:40,740
No.
1580
01:06:40,741 --> 01:06:43,000
We believe in music and equality.
1581
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:44,820
How about we show y'all?
1582
01:06:44,821 --> 01:06:45,520
It's okay.
1583
01:06:45,580 --> 01:06:46,580
Now...
1584
01:06:46,860 --> 01:06:54,720
Well, we're moving on up Moving on up To
the east side Moving on up To a deluxe
1585
01:06:54,721 --> 01:07:01,640
apartment In the sky We're moving on up
They gentrified the Jeffersons?
1586
01:07:01,780 --> 01:07:04,180
Wheezy's rolling around in her grave right
now.
1587
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:06,180
Can't do this to the black national
anthem.
1588
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:15,470
Boo!
1589
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:16,520
Biggie, you suck!
1590
01:07:16,580 --> 01:07:17,580
Boo your ass!
1591
01:07:17,780 --> 01:07:18,220
Burtard!
1592
01:07:18,260 --> 01:07:20,000
Get that bullshit out of here!
1593
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:20,880
Dumb shit!
1594
01:07:21,100 --> 01:07:24,060
Why don't y'all just go to one of those
frat parties where they drink until they
1595
01:07:24,061 --> 01:07:26,319
black out and wake up
with their booties hurting not
1596
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:28,580
knowing what someone in
a cowboy hat did to them.
1597
01:07:28,620 --> 01:07:29,620
Yeah, what?
1598
01:07:30,620 --> 01:07:31,060
Okay.
1599
01:07:31,061 --> 01:07:34,031
Well, we will leave you
guys alone, but we're gonna
1600
01:07:34,032 --> 01:07:36,580
walk real slow just in case
y'all change your minds.
1601
01:07:39,701 --> 01:07:40,340
Change your minds yet?
1602
01:07:40,500 --> 01:07:40,720
No!
1603
01:07:40,860 --> 01:07:41,860
Hell no!
1604
01:07:42,660 --> 01:07:43,660
How about now?
1605
01:07:43,740 --> 01:07:44,360
Fuck no!
1606
01:07:44,620 --> 01:07:44,840
No!
1607
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:45,840
Yes?
1608
01:07:46,060 --> 01:07:46,780
Hell to the no!
1609
01:07:46,920 --> 01:07:47,680
Keep walking!
1610
01:07:47,900 --> 01:07:48,360
Now get!
1611
01:07:48,680 --> 01:07:49,020
Let's go!
1612
01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:49,980
Sarah, come on!
1613
01:07:50,100 --> 01:07:51,540
Life, folks, is getting weird again.
1614
01:07:53,340 --> 01:07:57,000
Guys, I think I saw an open window over
here.
1615
01:07:57,255 --> 01:07:58,255
That window's closed.
1616
01:07:58,480 --> 01:07:59,480
Not for long.
1617
01:08:06,200 --> 01:08:07,200
Wicked.
1618
01:08:07,420 --> 01:08:08,560
God fucking idiots.
1619
01:08:17,100 --> 01:08:18,100
Tuesday!
1620
01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:19,540
You came back!
1621
01:08:20,080 --> 01:08:21,439
Yeah, I left my inhaler.
1622
01:08:22,000 --> 01:08:22,859
Honestly, Tuesday.
1623
01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:25,276
I thought inhalers were the worst plot
device in movie history.
1624
01:08:25,300 --> 01:08:25,740
That's true.
1625
01:08:25,859 --> 01:08:26,620
Should have been in vain.
1626
01:08:26,819 --> 01:08:29,479
But we're here now, so let's make the most
of it.
1627
01:08:29,540 --> 01:08:31,439
Now wear them white clothes and...
1628
01:08:36,020 --> 01:08:37,020
Sarah?
1629
01:08:37,640 --> 01:08:38,640
Hello.
1630
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:40,760
Get your sister and get out of there right
now.
1631
01:08:41,029 --> 01:08:41,700
Okay, hun?
1632
01:08:41,701 --> 01:08:43,359
I am a grown ass woman.
1633
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:46,800
Mother, I don't have to do anything you
tell me to do.
1634
01:08:46,880 --> 01:08:49,340
That's the house where your psycho father
killed those people.
1635
01:08:49,600 --> 01:08:51,100
Someone wanted to get you there.
1636
01:08:52,060 --> 01:08:55,380
Which means someone wants to get me there.
1637
01:08:55,760 --> 01:08:57,740
Oh my God, this isn't about you!
1638
01:08:58,120 --> 01:08:59,120
Why are you yelling?
1639
01:08:59,240 --> 01:09:01,279
Because the camera's so fucking far away!
1640
01:09:02,100 --> 01:09:04,640
Wait, hold on, are you tracking my phone?
1641
01:09:04,979 --> 01:09:06,180
Shh, you're breaking up.
1642
01:09:06,300 --> 01:09:06,880
Uh, yeah.
1643
01:09:06,960 --> 01:09:07,960
Shh.
1644
01:09:13,984 --> 01:09:15,984
Happy Birthday!
1645
01:09:16,308 --> 01:09:18,308
Hey! That's my car!
1646
01:09:22,432 --> 01:09:23,932
What the Fuck!
1647
01:09:23,956 --> 01:09:24,956
Help!
1648
01:09:26,180 --> 01:09:27,180
I'm Sorry.
1649
01:09:27,782 --> 01:09:29,282
I thought I was suppose to smoking.
1650
01:09:30,471 --> 01:09:31,971
Oh, Shit!
1651
01:09:35,995 --> 01:09:36,695
Seriously?
1652
01:09:36,819 --> 01:09:38,319
With a 12 years of Slave Shit.
1653
01:09:38,343 --> 01:09:40,343
Woah, Woah, Woah, I didn't see that movie.
1654
01:09:40,367 --> 01:09:41,167
Okay?
1655
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:42,555
I just found this thing in the shed.
1656
01:09:42,679 --> 01:09:43,679
Jeez.
1657
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:51,080
Come on, bro.
1658
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:52,920
That's even worse.
1659
01:09:53,899 --> 01:09:54,900
Ugh.
1660
01:09:55,070 --> 01:09:56,200
I didn't mean it that way.
1661
01:09:56,880 --> 01:09:58,280
Some of my best victims are black.
1662
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:01,820
Ugh.
1663
01:10:02,000 --> 01:10:05,020
And another brother falls victim to gun
violence.
1664
01:10:05,880 --> 01:10:07,740
Turns out race is still an issue.
1665
01:10:08,300 --> 01:10:09,300
That's not fair.
1666
01:10:09,545 --> 01:10:11,540
You know, black guys usually die first in
horror movies.
1667
01:10:29,564 --> 01:10:31,064
Hello, shorty.
1668
01:10:48,540 --> 01:10:50,660
Bro, why you running backwards, son?
1669
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:52,060
Oh no, it's not me.
1670
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:53,060
Something's wrong.
1671
01:10:53,100 --> 01:10:54,900
Nigga, you're a lotus upside down.
1672
01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:56,460
You're fucking hot, man.
1673
01:10:57,060 --> 01:10:58,460
Game on, bitches.
1674
01:11:03,960 --> 01:11:05,160
Wrong nigga!
1675
01:11:05,900 --> 01:11:07,120
Black lives matter.
1676
01:11:07,380 --> 01:11:08,440
Not you, Shorty.
1677
01:11:08,520 --> 01:11:09,520
Oh my...
1678
01:11:09,960 --> 01:11:11,100
What's going on?
1679
01:11:11,101 --> 01:11:11,420
Oh, Jack!
1680
01:11:11,720 --> 01:11:13,480
Oh, thank God you're here!
1681
01:11:13,580 --> 01:11:14,180
Where were you?
1682
01:11:14,480 --> 01:11:16,060
Gooseface was just here!
1683
01:11:16,300 --> 01:11:18,600
I was just outside getting some fresh air.
1684
01:11:18,780 --> 01:11:19,780
Stop!
1685
01:11:20,220 --> 01:11:22,420
One of you is the killer.
1686
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:24,200
Well?
1687
01:11:24,455 --> 01:11:26,500
Why do you have blood on your hands?
1688
01:11:28,660 --> 01:11:30,400
I found Brad outside.
1689
01:11:30,780 --> 01:11:31,800
She's the killer!
1690
01:11:32,100 --> 01:11:34,240
I am not the killer.
1691
01:11:34,580 --> 01:11:36,180
I'm not even sex positive.
1692
01:11:36,380 --> 01:11:37,380
I'm a virgin.
1693
01:11:37,740 --> 01:11:38,540
No way.
1694
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,360
You're being like every dude in
Woodsville.
1695
01:11:40,361 --> 01:11:41,680
Fuck you!
1696
01:11:42,300 --> 01:11:42,860
Whoa!
1697
01:11:43,300 --> 01:11:45,500
The butt doesn't count.
1698
01:11:48,700 --> 01:11:49,860
Shit, she said it!
1699
01:11:50,140 --> 01:11:53,040
Welcome to act three, bitches.
1700
01:11:55,000 --> 01:11:56,000
What?
1701
01:11:56,900 --> 01:11:58,360
What does that even mean?
1702
01:11:59,990 --> 01:12:01,700
It's when the shit goes down.
1703
01:12:02,020 --> 01:12:02,580
Oh.
1704
01:12:02,700 --> 01:12:05,900
I still don't really know what she means,
but I think we should run!
1705
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:11,360
It's okay.
1706
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:18,620
We'll find her.
1707
01:12:22,520 --> 01:12:23,520
Brendan!
1708
01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:24,920
Brenda!
1709
01:12:25,260 --> 01:12:26,740
Cindy, they in there shooting!
1710
01:12:27,080 --> 01:12:28,300
Those kids are wild!
1711
01:12:28,640 --> 01:12:32,640
I blame it on video games, not the liquor
or lack of parental supervision.
1712
01:12:33,180 --> 01:12:34,180
You're gonna need this.
1713
01:12:34,520 --> 01:12:36,320
Do you have one bigger in black?
1714
01:12:36,720 --> 01:12:38,140
A rock bag.
1715
01:12:39,440 --> 01:12:41,420
Oh, who are you?
1716
01:12:41,540 --> 01:12:42,180
Joan Wick?
1717
01:12:42,420 --> 01:12:44,860
I would have said ballerina, but nobody
saw that shit.
1718
01:12:45,580 --> 01:12:46,580
Let's do this.
1719
01:12:46,840 --> 01:12:47,840
Oh, okay.
1720
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:51,920
Stop!
1721
01:12:52,100 --> 01:12:53,100
Stop me!
1722
01:12:53,580 --> 01:12:55,480
I'm definitely not faking it, please!
1723
01:12:55,900 --> 01:12:56,900
What do you think?
1724
01:12:58,050 --> 01:12:59,900
I think Drake lost to Kendrick.
1725
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:02,960
I still like Drake, but what was up with
that lawsuit?
1726
01:13:03,080 --> 01:13:04,500
That's such a bitch-ass move.
1727
01:13:05,010 --> 01:13:06,320
About this situation.
1728
01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:08,980
Oh, that's definitely a trap.
1729
01:13:09,240 --> 01:13:11,280
She don't know we've already been here,
doesn't she?
1730
01:13:12,060 --> 01:13:13,060
Brenda!
1731
01:13:14,280 --> 01:13:15,280
Cindy!
1732
01:13:18,420 --> 01:13:18,900
Hurts!
1733
01:13:18,901 --> 01:13:20,320
Am I gonna make it?
1734
01:13:20,400 --> 01:13:21,020
I doubt it.
1735
01:13:21,021 --> 01:13:22,021
Oh, God, Cindy!
1736
01:13:22,620 --> 01:13:23,900
Oh, God!
1737
01:13:24,450 --> 01:13:26,100
Bitch, I'm not dead yet!
1738
01:13:27,040 --> 01:13:28,040
Oh, my bad.
1739
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:28,580
I'm sorry.
1740
01:13:28,890 --> 01:13:33,480
Now you go back in there and finish it for
me, Cindy.
1741
01:13:33,960 --> 01:13:35,400
I would do anything for you, Brenda.
1742
01:13:41,030 --> 01:13:42,210
Oh, yes!
1743
01:13:42,550 --> 01:13:43,650
She bought it!
1744
01:13:44,010 --> 01:13:45,230
That old ketchup trick!
1745
01:13:45,330 --> 01:13:46,330
It don't fail!
1746
01:13:46,700 --> 01:13:49,810
That bitch is crazy if she thought I was
taking my black ass back in there.
1747
01:13:53,730 --> 01:13:55,150
Attention all killers!
1748
01:13:55,450 --> 01:13:58,710
You have five seconds to show yourselves!
1749
01:14:12,625 --> 01:14:13,325
Shorty!
1750
01:14:13,349 --> 01:14:14,049
Bitch!
1751
01:14:14,648 --> 01:14:16,448
You shot my baby ball.
1752
01:14:17,025 --> 01:14:18,650
Go find your own damn closet!
1753
01:14:18,874 --> 01:14:19,674
Sorry.
1754
01:14:29,610 --> 01:14:30,610
Hello, Cindy.
1755
01:14:31,910 --> 01:14:32,910
Hello.
1756
01:14:33,470 --> 01:14:37,410
Looks like you forgot the first rule of
surviving a horror movie.
1757
01:14:37,650 --> 01:14:39,670
Never answer the phone.
1758
01:14:40,750 --> 01:14:44,190
I thought the first rule was never trust
the love interest.
1759
01:14:45,870 --> 01:14:46,650
Oh, really?
1760
01:14:46,890 --> 01:14:48,550
Well, I'm changing the rules.
1761
01:14:48,670 --> 01:14:49,670
How about that?
1762
01:14:50,210 --> 01:14:51,210
New rule.
1763
01:14:52,140 --> 01:14:53,190
Go fuck yourself.
1764
01:14:53,710 --> 01:14:54,710
Wait, wait!
1765
01:14:56,090 --> 01:14:58,630
Why do you hate closets so much?
1766
01:14:58,890 --> 01:15:00,390
I told you to come out.
1767
01:15:00,670 --> 01:15:02,250
Yeah, well, I didn't want to get shot!
1768
01:15:02,730 --> 01:15:03,770
Ironic, isn't it?
1769
01:15:04,585 --> 01:15:06,170
You missed me, bitch!
1770
01:15:07,090 --> 01:15:08,790
Oh, God, it's Ghostface!
1771
01:15:09,290 --> 01:15:10,290
It's unbelieveable
1772
01:15:11,990 --> 01:15:14,890
You think you're John Wick acting like I
killed your dog?
1773
01:15:19,210 --> 01:15:23,690
If the dog is just a metaphor,
it was about losing his wife!
1774
01:15:23,850 --> 01:15:25,050
You sure it's not an allegory?
1775
01:15:35,990 --> 01:15:37,550
Let us begin.
1776
01:16:41,671 --> 01:16:42,671
Eat a dick.
1777
01:16:53,140 --> 01:16:54,230
Shoot him, Sarah.
1778
01:16:54,580 --> 01:16:55,210
End this.
1779
01:16:55,525 --> 01:16:56,730
Don't tell me what to do!
1780
01:16:56,970 --> 01:17:01,650
This isn't the best time to resolve our
mommy-daughter issues, but...
1781
01:17:02,550 --> 01:17:03,730
Sarah, I am so sorry.
1782
01:17:03,850 --> 01:17:05,310
I have been a terrible mother.
1783
01:17:05,980 --> 01:17:08,030
I don't even know your sister Wednesday.
1784
01:17:08,310 --> 01:17:09,310
Tuesday.
1785
01:17:09,790 --> 01:17:11,930
Have to clarify that for legal reasons.
1786
01:17:12,320 --> 01:17:13,970
But I prepared you for this.
1787
01:17:14,430 --> 01:17:15,790
So go on, baby.
1788
01:17:16,170 --> 01:17:17,270
You kill him.
1789
01:17:17,930 --> 01:17:18,930
Sarah!
1790
01:17:18,970 --> 01:17:19,490
Jack!
1791
01:17:19,590 --> 01:17:20,590
Sarah!
1792
01:17:21,310 --> 01:17:21,830
Jack!
1793
01:17:22,330 --> 01:17:22,830
Sarah!
1794
01:17:23,210 --> 01:17:23,430
Jack!
1795
01:17:23,650 --> 01:17:24,170
Sarah!
1796
01:17:24,350 --> 01:17:24,610
Jack!
1797
01:17:24,690 --> 01:17:25,030
Sarah!
1798
01:17:25,410 --> 01:17:28,570
Thank God you're okay, because I really
wanted to be the one to kill you!
1799
01:17:28,710 --> 01:17:29,130
Oh!
1800
01:17:29,490 --> 01:17:30,530
Take it, baby.
1801
01:17:32,450 --> 01:17:34,410
See, I told you it was about me.
1802
01:17:34,630 --> 01:17:36,090
No, Sarah.
1803
01:17:37,630 --> 01:17:39,010
You were just the bait.
1804
01:17:39,810 --> 01:17:40,810
It's about her.
1805
01:17:41,930 --> 01:17:42,450
Fuck!
1806
01:17:42,690 --> 01:17:43,730
Oh, sorry, honey.
1807
01:17:43,810 --> 01:17:44,110
I didn't mean to.
1808
01:17:44,130 --> 01:17:45,130
I hate being right.
1809
01:17:45,450 --> 01:17:47,190
You should have listened to Doofy.
1810
01:17:48,040 --> 01:17:49,110
The love interest.
1811
01:17:50,110 --> 01:17:52,550
It just seemed too obvious, you know?
1812
01:17:52,730 --> 01:17:55,170
Which makes you think it is not obvious.
1813
01:17:55,320 --> 01:17:56,010
Same page, honey.
1814
01:17:56,030 --> 01:17:56,550
That's right.
1815
01:17:56,730 --> 01:17:58,410
Yeah, well, that's the twist!
1816
01:17:58,930 --> 01:18:00,010
Now get in the kitchen.
1817
01:18:00,070 --> 01:18:00,250
Go!
1818
01:18:00,570 --> 01:18:01,010
Hey!
1819
01:18:01,410 --> 01:18:03,110
Okay, listen up!
1820
01:18:04,420 --> 01:18:08,870
See, there hasn't been a great horror
movie since the first one.
1821
01:18:09,550 --> 01:18:10,910
We're going to save the franchise.
1822
01:18:11,500 --> 01:18:12,700
Go get our special guest star.
1823
01:18:15,140 --> 01:18:17,270
Hollywood is out of ideas.
1824
01:18:17,770 --> 01:18:20,310
Why else would there be a scary movie,
Six?
1825
01:18:20,715 --> 01:18:23,075
But it wouldn't work with just the new
characters, would it?
1826
01:18:23,240 --> 01:18:25,110
We need the legacy characters.
1827
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:30,410
Oh, and there wouldn't be a Cindy without
her sassy black sidekick, Brenda.
1828
01:18:30,830 --> 01:18:33,010
You ain't have to say black with no heart.
1829
01:18:33,090 --> 01:18:34,090
Be like that.
1830
01:18:34,440 --> 01:18:36,390
Brenda, didn't you get shot?
1831
01:18:37,310 --> 01:18:38,310
Did I?
1832
01:18:39,610 --> 01:18:40,270
Oh, wait!
1833
01:18:40,390 --> 01:18:40,770
I did!
1834
01:18:41,050 --> 01:18:41,530
Oh, look!
1835
01:18:41,710 --> 01:18:42,850
God didn't heal me!
1836
01:18:42,851 --> 01:18:43,610
Oh!
1837
01:18:43,611 --> 01:18:46,050
Round of time!
1838
01:18:46,110 --> 01:18:46,670
Stop dancing!
1839
01:18:46,830 --> 01:18:47,830
Everybody stop dancing!
1840
01:18:48,210 --> 01:18:48,810
Oh!
1841
01:18:49,070 --> 01:18:49,570
Oh!
1842
01:18:49,710 --> 01:18:50,310
Mom!
1843
01:18:50,730 --> 01:18:51,730
No!
1844
01:18:52,650 --> 01:18:54,370
You called me mom!
1845
01:18:55,620 --> 01:18:57,190
You care about me!
1846
01:18:58,170 --> 01:18:59,870
Well, I wouldn't go that far, but I
mean...
1847
01:19:00,190 --> 01:19:00,490
Sure.
1848
01:19:01,060 --> 01:19:02,060
Go get Tuesday!
1849
01:19:02,190 --> 01:19:03,190
Okay, ladies.
1850
01:19:03,570 --> 01:19:05,390
Time to stage the party!
1851
01:19:05,910 --> 01:19:06,490
Let's go!
1852
01:19:06,730 --> 01:19:07,370
Let's go!
1853
01:19:07,430 --> 01:19:07,950
Let's go!
1854
01:19:08,250 --> 01:19:09,330
What are you talking about?
1855
01:19:09,970 --> 01:19:11,650
Who are you people?
1856
01:19:11,850 --> 01:19:14,290
We're the motherfuckers that are taking
over this brand.
1857
01:19:14,291 --> 01:19:14,730
This is the new protesting franchise.
1858
01:19:15,210 --> 01:19:16,210
Oh, yeah.
1859
01:19:16,570 --> 01:19:17,570
Okay!
1860
01:19:17,650 --> 01:19:18,690
Oh my God!
1861
01:19:18,810 --> 01:19:20,850
That was not part of the plan.
1862
01:19:21,010 --> 01:19:22,010
Oh God.
1863
01:19:23,630 --> 01:19:25,050
Neither was this.
1864
01:19:29,500 --> 01:19:31,100
Wait, Ray got one of those!
1865
01:19:31,110 --> 01:19:31,710
Wow!
1866
01:19:31,750 --> 01:19:32,750
Hot damn!
1867
01:19:34,705 --> 01:19:36,705
Anthony Anderson!
1868
01:19:36,670 --> 01:19:37,670
Yeah!
1869
01:19:37,770 --> 01:19:39,790
And I brought my boy Kevin Hart with me.
1870
01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:47,900
What?
1871
01:19:48,300 --> 01:19:48,840
Shaq?
1872
01:19:49,060 --> 01:19:49,620
That's right.
1873
01:19:49,960 --> 01:19:51,840
On my knees, I'm the same height as Kevin.
1874
01:19:52,540 --> 01:19:53,540
And Kevin said no.
1875
01:19:53,890 --> 01:19:54,890
Kevin Hart said no?
1876
01:19:55,150 --> 01:19:57,030
That little motherfucker says yes to
everything.
1877
01:19:57,060 --> 01:19:58,060
Yeah, he does.
1878
01:19:58,140 --> 01:19:59,140
But wait.
1879
01:19:59,620 --> 01:20:00,620
There's more.
1880
01:20:02,145 --> 01:20:03,145
Ta-da!
1881
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:05,340
Bitches!
1882
01:20:05,620 --> 01:20:05,960
Ray!
1883
01:20:06,520 --> 01:20:07,060
Shorty!
1884
01:20:07,240 --> 01:20:08,520
Yeah, that's right.
1885
01:20:09,485 --> 01:20:11,660
Four black killers.
1886
01:20:11,680 --> 01:20:12,040
Yeah.
1887
01:20:12,100 --> 01:20:13,100
We're making history.
1888
01:20:13,425 --> 01:20:16,060
This is a new definition of black
excellence.
1889
01:20:17,510 --> 01:20:18,680
But why would you do this?
1890
01:20:19,190 --> 01:20:23,000
Question is, why would you try to make a
sequel without us, huh?
1891
01:20:23,140 --> 01:20:23,440
Yeah.
1892
01:20:23,930 --> 01:20:27,440
When the studio wanted to replace these
brothers, I was there.
1893
01:20:27,820 --> 01:20:28,560
That's facts.
1894
01:20:28,820 --> 01:20:29,820
What about me?
1895
01:20:30,040 --> 01:20:31,040
What about you?
1896
01:20:31,220 --> 01:20:33,320
You were in one scene in part four.
1897
01:20:33,640 --> 01:20:36,480
Yes, but I made that motherfucker Dr. Phil
cut his foot off.
1898
01:20:36,640 --> 01:20:37,600
And he crazy now.
1899
01:20:37,660 --> 01:20:38,660
Yeah, he got weird.
1900
01:20:38,765 --> 01:20:40,820
But you see what they trying to do?
1901
01:20:40,940 --> 01:20:42,920
They try to piss us all up against each
other.
1902
01:20:42,940 --> 01:20:45,780
They trying to start black on very black
crime.
1903
01:20:45,980 --> 01:20:46,420
That's right.
1904
01:20:46,860 --> 01:20:47,860
Yo, Shaq.
1905
01:20:47,900 --> 01:20:49,860
Hey, I'm proud of you, bro.
1906
01:20:50,060 --> 01:20:53,900
You've had an amazing career as a sports
commentator since retiring from basketball.
1907
01:20:54,180 --> 01:20:54,400
Mm-hmm.
1908
01:20:54,530 --> 01:20:56,760
And I love the big podcast, nigga.
1909
01:20:56,761 --> 01:20:57,761
I love that shit.
1910
01:20:58,380 --> 01:20:59,509
Even though I don't
understand a word you
1911
01:20:59,509 --> 01:21:02,240
be saying, you be on
that show all the time.
1912
01:21:05,470 --> 01:21:06,270
Kobe.
1913
01:21:06,358 --> 01:21:06,958
Enough.
1914
01:21:07,730 --> 01:21:10,730
But my point is, nigga, I love your shit.
1915
01:21:12,420 --> 01:21:13,960
But I never got over Kazam.
1916
01:21:17,141 --> 01:21:18,441
Get your big ass up here.
1917
01:21:18,440 --> 01:21:19,840
I hated that movie, too.
1918
01:21:19,900 --> 01:21:21,020
Why did you leave the Vegas?
1919
01:21:21,140 --> 01:21:23,940
You and Kobe would have had nine drinks.
1920
01:21:24,100 --> 01:21:25,300
That motherfucker traded me.
1921
01:21:25,685 --> 01:21:26,935
Shaquille.
1922
01:21:27,035 --> 01:21:29,735
How big is your foot?
1923
01:21:29,759 --> 01:21:30,219
22.
1924
01:21:30,492 --> 01:21:33,132
Then how big is your dick?
1925
01:21:33,320 --> 01:21:34,020
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1926
01:21:34,180 --> 01:21:34,580
Ray.
1927
01:21:34,900 --> 01:21:35,300
Pulse.
1928
01:21:35,500 --> 01:21:36,580
The fuck you talking about?
1929
01:21:36,640 --> 01:21:37,800
I'm doing it for the culture.
1930
01:21:38,190 --> 01:21:39,190
What culture?
1931
01:21:39,350 --> 01:21:40,020
Culture club.
1932
01:21:40,690 --> 01:21:41,246
Bro.
1933
01:21:41,456 --> 01:21:42,115
Come on, Ray.
1934
01:21:42,140 --> 01:21:42,720
We killing people.
1935
01:21:42,860 --> 01:21:43,400
Stay focused.
1936
01:21:43,540 --> 01:21:43,980
All right, all right, all right.
1937
01:21:44,100 --> 01:21:44,460
We back.
1938
01:21:45,640 --> 01:21:46,340
Hey, Ant.
1939
01:21:46,360 --> 01:21:47,540
Don't you worry.
1940
01:21:47,790 --> 01:21:48,500
We family.
1941
01:21:48,892 --> 01:21:49,383
Ant.
1942
01:21:49,830 --> 01:21:50,830
Mad respect, yo.
1943
01:21:50,880 --> 01:21:53,900
Hey, Black is nominated for eight Emmys.
1944
01:21:54,100 --> 01:21:55,100
My nigga.
1945
01:21:55,720 --> 01:21:58,080
Well, actually, the show was only
nominated for five.
1946
01:21:58,465 --> 01:22:00,180
I was nominated for eight.
1947
01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:00,920
Wow.
1948
01:22:01,260 --> 01:22:02,260
Great.
1949
01:22:02,600 --> 01:22:03,600
My besties.
1950
01:22:03,900 --> 01:22:04,900
What's up?
1951
01:22:05,160 --> 01:22:06,160
Eight nominations.
1952
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,200
Great.
1953
01:22:07,340 --> 01:22:08,020
Yeah, man.
1954
01:22:08,100 --> 01:22:08,240
Yeah.
1955
01:22:08,360 --> 01:22:09,360
Oh.
1956
01:22:10,020 --> 01:22:11,100
But you never won.
1957
01:22:11,320 --> 01:22:12,320
What?
1958
01:22:14,150 --> 01:22:15,410
It's your first day.
1959
01:22:15,440 --> 01:22:16,960
No freak Spanish to me, motherfucker.
1960
01:22:17,240 --> 01:22:20,080
This is for doing scary movies,
playing off.
1961
01:22:20,380 --> 01:22:22,520
I didn't know they fired the family.
1962
01:22:22,800 --> 01:22:27,520
And this is for copying our good times
episode on Black-ish.
1963
01:22:27,700 --> 01:22:29,811
But you guys were on the WB.
1964
01:22:30,490 --> 01:22:32,649
Nobody saw that shit.
1965
01:22:34,875 --> 01:22:35,875
No, no, no.
1966
01:22:35,900 --> 01:22:36,900
And you.
1967
01:22:37,070 --> 01:22:38,070
And you.
1968
01:22:38,470 --> 01:22:40,000
Y'all went and did scary movies to get
your ass kicked.
1969
01:22:40,001 --> 01:22:41,240
...three and four without us.
1970
01:22:41,440 --> 01:22:42,480
Nigga, I'm sorry.
1971
01:22:42,600 --> 01:22:44,180
They offered me so much money.
1972
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:47,700
I got a new house, a new car, I got wigs
that don't itch.
1973
01:22:49,131 --> 01:22:49,906
What about you?
1974
01:22:51,420 --> 01:22:55,758
Well, I had a chance to work with the
incomparable Charlie Sheen.
1975
01:22:57,816 --> 01:22:58,516
That's good.
1976
01:22:58,540 --> 01:23:01,197
He's a legend and his dick game is crazy.
1977
01:23:01,250 --> 01:23:06,108
You know, he slept with 47,000 women and a
thousand of them women were dudes.
1978
01:23:06,730 --> 01:23:07,550
Lucky guy.
1979
01:23:08,890 --> 01:23:11,321
Wait, so y'all gonna kill us now?
1980
01:23:13,114 --> 01:23:13,992
Nah.
1981
01:23:14,982 --> 01:23:17,180
What would Halloween be without Jamie Lee
Curtis?
1982
01:23:17,285 --> 01:23:19,380
Or Scream be without Neve Campbell?
1983
01:23:19,670 --> 01:23:20,680
That would be Scream 6.
1984
01:23:21,130 --> 01:23:23,646
How did you guys pull all of this off?
1985
01:23:23,870 --> 01:23:27,298
Sandy, you know how many Waynes's there
are?
1986
01:23:28,115 --> 01:23:29,195
Nigga, billions.
1987
01:23:29,220 --> 01:23:29,780
Billions.
1988
01:23:30,324 --> 01:23:33,384
I'm just so happy that the old gang is
back together.
1989
01:23:34,066 --> 01:23:36,298
Okay, in the middle, on three.
1990
01:23:36,547 --> 01:23:37,155
Corfour
1991
01:23:37,752 --> 01:23:37,945
What?
1992
01:23:37,970 --> 01:23:40,633
Nah, nah, that's corny swag.
1993
01:23:40,660 --> 01:23:45,035
What about the young and the restless?
1994
01:23:45,110 --> 01:23:47,923
Yeah, or the old and then the beautiful.
1995
01:23:48,263 --> 01:23:50,535
Or the cute and the crusty.
1996
01:23:50,560 --> 01:23:53,057
Yeah, or the sexy and then the senile.
1997
01:23:59,036 --> 01:24:01,436
We were brought in to take over the
franchise!
1998
01:24:01,460 --> 01:24:02,034
That's right!
1999
01:24:02,689 --> 01:24:05,069
You guys are like 70 years old!
2000
01:24:09,314 --> 01:24:11,374
I just dragged that one from the subway.
2001
01:24:11,681 --> 01:24:13,011
Oh, my back hurts.
2002
01:24:13,724 --> 01:24:14,531
Guys!
2003
01:24:14,753 --> 01:24:15,431
Guys!
2004
01:24:15,637 --> 01:24:16,778
They're already dead!
2005
01:24:16,820 --> 01:24:17,252
Nah!
2006
01:24:17,650 --> 01:24:18,930
Little fuckers always come back.
2007
01:24:19,120 --> 01:24:19,560
Oh, no.
2008
01:24:19,770 --> 01:24:20,905
Not this time!
2009
01:24:21,149 --> 01:24:21,765
Exactly!
2010
01:24:21,880 --> 01:24:22,460
Come on, Way!
2011
01:24:22,461 --> 01:24:22,780
Let's go!
2012
01:24:22,900 --> 01:24:23,260
Let's go!
2013
01:24:23,480 --> 01:24:24,480
We got a match!
2014
01:24:25,309 --> 01:24:25,753
That one!
2015
01:24:26,151 --> 01:24:26,525
That one!
2016
01:24:26,959 --> 01:24:28,035
Next generation!
2017
01:24:28,060 --> 01:24:29,060
My ass!
2018
01:24:29,360 --> 01:24:29,740
Yeah!
2019
01:24:30,320 --> 01:24:31,320
Yeah!
2020
01:24:36,300 --> 01:24:37,900
Oh, bitch, come on!
2021
01:24:49,744 --> 01:24:50,754
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
2022
01:24:51,149 --> 01:24:52,134
Do we feel bad?
2023
01:24:52,160 --> 01:24:53,439
I mean, those are our kids.
2024
01:24:53,753 --> 01:24:54,736
Fuck those kids!
2025
01:24:54,760 --> 01:24:55,140
Yeah!
2026
01:24:55,559 --> 01:24:57,344
This is our franchise!
2027
01:24:57,400 --> 01:24:57,420
Yeah!
2028
01:24:57,421 --> 01:25:01,500
Besides, we get to do all these dramatic
walkaways with the fire in the back of us.
2029
01:25:01,843 --> 01:25:03,013
But damn, it's hot.
2030
01:25:03,787 --> 01:25:04,337
I don't know.
2031
01:25:05,124 --> 01:25:05,648
I kind of like it.
2032
01:25:07,036 --> 01:25:08,036
You do, Ray?
2033
01:25:08,175 --> 01:25:09,335
We should play fireman.
2034
01:25:09,360 --> 01:25:10,980
You want to dress up like a fireman?
2035
01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:12,980
No, I want you to dress up like a fireman.
2036
01:25:14,080 --> 01:25:15,080
Y'all feeling draft.
2037
01:27:28,590 --> 01:27:36,590
Coming soon to a theater near you Come to
me come true from the studio that brought
2038
01:27:36,591 --> 01:27:38,990
...brought you every black version of a
white movie.
2039
01:27:41,950 --> 01:27:44,070
I am but an appetite.
2040
01:27:45,010 --> 01:27:45,570
Nothing.
2041
01:27:45,890 --> 01:27:47,630
That's not what you said last night.
2042
01:27:47,830 --> 01:27:49,650
When you were sucking on my chest!
2043
01:27:52,165 --> 01:27:53,671
The sisters may hear you.
2044
01:27:53,810 --> 01:27:54,810
Too late!
2045
01:27:55,010 --> 01:27:56,710
You trifling sellout!
2046
01:27:57,090 --> 01:27:58,090
I don't know this bitch!
2047
01:27:58,220 --> 01:27:59,220
She tried to get me!
2048
01:27:59,310 --> 01:28:00,070
This is a trap, man!
2049
01:28:00,250 --> 01:28:01,270
Negro ain't shit.
2050
01:28:02,630 --> 01:28:04,470
Behold the black vampire.
2051
01:28:06,010 --> 01:28:07,370
Broseferatu.
2052
01:28:08,955 --> 01:28:10,541
Coming this Kwanzaa.
2053
01:29:33,060 --> 01:29:34,140
Something isn't right here.
2054
01:29:35,290 --> 01:29:36,530
He's definitely Ghostface.
2055
01:29:37,470 --> 01:29:38,470
Sit.
2056
01:29:39,570 --> 01:29:40,570
I agree, Burger.
2057
01:29:41,580 --> 01:29:42,730
That Hanch has been the rest of his life.
2058
01:29:42,750 --> 01:29:43,750
In prison.
2059
01:29:43,970 --> 01:29:44,970
That'll land, man.
2060
01:29:45,280 --> 01:29:49,250
I mean, respectfully, that thing would
probably give a nice handjob.
2061
01:29:49,670 --> 01:29:50,670
Off the chain.
2062
01:29:51,350 --> 01:29:51,710
Guaranteed.
2063
01:29:51,730 --> 01:29:52,730
Tight grip.
2064
01:29:53,000 --> 01:29:54,280
Making me look two times bigger.
2065
01:29:54,850 --> 01:29:55,210
Yeah.
2066
01:29:55,850 --> 01:29:57,006
I don't want a handjob from him.
2067
01:29:57,030 --> 01:29:57,650
Let me tell you that.
2068
01:29:57,830 --> 01:29:59,870
First and foremost, I do not want a
handjob from him.
2069
01:29:59,871 --> 01:30:00,871
Me neither.
2070
01:30:00,940 --> 01:30:04,670
However, when you look at it, like a
shotgun, you're done.
2071
01:30:06,995 --> 01:30:08,466
Now listen, we're gonna hold him,
okay?
2072
01:30:08,490 --> 01:30:08,850
Okay.
2073
01:30:09,030 --> 01:30:11,290
Might be a day, two weeks, I don't know.
2074
01:30:11,350 --> 01:30:12,790
I don't know how long this movie is.
2075
01:30:12,900 --> 01:30:14,510
Like a Chris Nolan movie with farts.
2076
01:30:14,920 --> 01:30:18,830
But what I want you to do is go in there
and show him what you got.
2077
01:30:19,005 --> 01:30:20,310
Cock it and rock it.
2078
01:30:30,515 --> 01:30:31,650
There she is.
2079
01:30:31,830 --> 01:30:33,350
The birthday girl.
2080
01:30:37,695 --> 01:30:38,695
I brought a cake.
2081
01:30:39,950 --> 01:30:40,950
Make a wish.
2082
01:30:43,145 --> 01:30:44,145
My germs.
2083
01:30:48,015 --> 01:30:49,590
Finger lickin' good.
2084
01:30:51,500 --> 01:30:55,130
Agent Burger, I'm just trying to give you
my strong hand.
2085
01:30:55,370 --> 01:30:55,530
No!
2086
01:30:55,990 --> 01:30:56,990
But it's a meme.
2087
01:30:57,630 --> 01:31:01,130
Mr. Shorthand, are you Ghostface?
2088
01:31:01,510 --> 01:31:01,910
Woo!
2089
01:31:05,146 --> 01:31:06,500
That stings.
2090
01:31:06,730 --> 01:31:08,670
Okay, that hurts.
2091
01:31:08,919 --> 01:31:10,410
Can I talk to you for a second?
2092
01:31:10,670 --> 01:31:11,670
Yeah, okay.
2093
01:31:13,470 --> 01:31:15,710
This table needs an airbag.
2094
01:31:19,065 --> 01:31:20,890
I didn't think it would hurt so bad.
2095
01:31:21,535 --> 01:31:22,535
So we got the wrong guy.
2096
01:31:22,805 --> 01:31:24,030
I could have told you that.
2097
01:31:24,690 --> 01:31:25,130
Why?
2098
01:31:25,510 --> 01:31:26,510
Because I'm psychic.
2099
01:31:27,080 --> 01:31:28,080
Oh yeah.
2100
01:31:28,690 --> 01:31:30,990
You know it's... Oh shit!
2101
01:31:31,950 --> 01:31:32,950
That's how I feel.
2102
01:31:32,990 --> 01:31:33,630
Let me tell you something.
2103
01:31:34,010 --> 01:31:35,770
What do we do now?
2104
01:31:36,870 --> 01:31:37,870
Back out slowly.
2105
01:31:38,410 --> 01:31:40,530
Like my neighbor when I caught him inside
my wife.
2106
01:31:40,670 --> 01:31:41,670
Where are you guys going?
2107
01:31:42,110 --> 01:31:43,130
They still together?
2108
01:31:44,310 --> 01:31:44,750
Unfortunately.
2109
01:31:44,751 --> 01:31:45,751
Ow!
2110
01:31:46,110 --> 01:31:47,110
Sorry, man.
2111
01:31:47,790 --> 01:31:49,290
It's okay, we're a thrumple now.
2112
01:31:49,510 --> 01:31:50,510
Ah!
134013
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