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1
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,510
Sold to paddle 42.
2
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:20,988
the Wassily Kandinsky,
"Gewebe."
3
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:25,564
Work on paper.
Starting at 360,000.
4
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:28,258
360.
Do we have 380?
5
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:30,661
380 to the gentleman
in the front.
6
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:33,430
We have 380,000 now,
ahead of you.
7
00:00:33,533 --> 00:00:35,103
Do we have 400?
8
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,941
400,000 in the back.
9
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,267
Shit.
10
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:40,611
420 now...
11
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,607
and 440...
12
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,439
and 460.
13
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:47,214
We have 480,000.
14
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:48,920
Do I hear 500?
15
00:00:51,117 --> 00:00:53,547
$500,000!
16
00:00:53,620 --> 00:00:55,420
520 in the back.
17
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,762
540.
18
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:57,716
560--
19
00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:59,961
and 580,000.
20
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,530
600,000!
21
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:03,464
- What are you doing?
- Shopping!
22
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:05,703
- What--stop!
You're overpaying.
23
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,425
- 620!
- Don't tell me what I'm doing!
24
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,804
- 640!
- 660!
25
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,242
- 680!
- Uh, sir, madame,
26
00:01:10,303 --> 00:01:11,813
I will call the prices.
27
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:13,305
- Oh, stay out of it!
- We got it!
28
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,466
800!
29
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,946
- Are you nuts?
It's a work on paper.
30
00:01:19,045 --> 00:01:20,075
- Eight...
- Oh, my God.
31
00:01:20,146 --> 00:01:21,876
Hundred thousand dollars.
32
00:01:21,948 --> 00:01:24,978
Last chance at 800--
33
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,545
- Sold--to me!
34
00:01:34,627 --> 00:01:36,627
- You don't even like
Kandinsky.
35
00:01:36,729 --> 00:01:40,229
- Neither do you.
- Well, tastes change.
36
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,843
Victoria didn't want a ring.
She wanted that Kandinsky.
37
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:51,482
- Oh, you're...
- Yeah.
38
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,848
- Whoa!
39
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,016
- Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.
40
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,676
- So are you two
gonna have a registry,
41
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:59,194
or is it just
the Metamucil website?
42
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:00,785
- Does Ovaltine
43
00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:02,364
- make a wedding cake?
- All right.
44
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,915
- You two gonna allow
the Rascal scooters
45
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,990
- on the dance floor?
- All right, all right.
46
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,362
I get it.
47
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:09,360
Now my fiancée
isn't young enough for you.
48
00:02:09,462 --> 00:02:10,802
- No, no,
it makes perfect sense.
49
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:12,004
I mean, you're a history buff.
50
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:13,298
You know, she can give you
51
00:02:13,366 --> 00:02:14,766
a firsthand account
of the Civil War.
52
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,204
Okay.
53
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,772
- No, you're right.
I-I don't like Kandinsky.
54
00:02:19,839 --> 00:02:21,939
But I do like leverage.
55
00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,138
Oh, here we go.
56
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:26,310
I'll give it to you...
57
00:02:26,379 --> 00:02:28,149
in exchange for the main stage.
58
00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:29,784
- Deborah,
you're not gonna get--
59
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:33,389
- Just for one night
to film my special.
60
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,316
Oh.
61
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,718
You know,
you could've rented something
62
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,164
even better than the Palmetto
63
00:02:39,225 --> 00:02:41,025
for much less
than that fucking painting.
64
00:02:41,127 --> 00:02:42,797
- I know,
but I want the Palmetto.
65
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,302
I don't like
the way I went out.
66
00:02:44,364 --> 00:02:45,904
I want a chance to do it again.
67
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,169
I know that it's occupied now,
68
00:02:47,233 --> 00:02:48,643
so it's probably
a really tall order.
69
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:49,571
Sure.
70
00:02:49,669 --> 00:02:51,699
I'll make it happen.
71
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:55,883
Thanks.
72
00:02:55,975 --> 00:02:57,905
- You know, I would've given
you the Palmetto
73
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,151
if you just asked.
74
00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:01,412
Yeah, sure.
75
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,845
You should see
if the caterer'll give you two
76
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,590
a discount if dinner's served
by 4:00 p.m.
77
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:11,058
- You know, Early Bird Special.
- This again.
78
00:03:11,157 --> 00:03:12,927
- Are you done?
- No.
79
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,156
Pretty nice, right?
80
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,828
Whoa, two sinks.
81
00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:20,096
And you can see the
fake Eiffel Tower from here.
82
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,770
It's the last unit available.
83
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,438
I got a hookup
with the manager.
84
00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:24,596
Look at all this.
85
00:03:24,704 --> 00:03:26,044
I could have a dinner party.
86
00:03:26,105 --> 00:03:28,835
All I need is, like,
one single friend.
87
00:03:28,908 --> 00:03:30,408
Relatable.
88
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,380
And I know you're taking
a loss on your condo in L.A.,
89
00:03:32,445 --> 00:03:35,105
but you get so much more
for your money here.
90
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,745
- Yeah, well,
this is really nice,
91
00:03:37,850 --> 00:03:39,620
but I think the one
that's closer to Deborah's
92
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:41,019
might make more sense.
93
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,687
- The one with
the open-concept bathroom?
94
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,086
Yeah.
95
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:48,799
- Maybe don't make
your life worse
96
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,625
to be ten minutes closer
to Deborah's.
97
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:52,230
- Well--
98
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,898
Oh, sorry.
99
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,197
- Oh, um--
- Oh, take it.
100
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:57,138
Oh...
101
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,137
- Hello?
- Ava, hey.
102
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,309
- Sorry for the random call.
- No worries.
103
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:02,637
- How are you?
- Good.
104
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:04,142
I actuallyhave a question for you.
105
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,954
So the girl
who was gonna do punch-ups
106
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:08,045
for me on my pilot
can't do it anymore.
107
00:04:08,114 --> 00:04:10,924
So I was wondering,
do you have any interest?
108
00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:14,254
- Oh, shit.
That's so nice of you.
109
00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,420
And thank you, but...
I'm working for Deborah,
110
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:19,090
and I'm already back in Vegas.
111
00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,658
- Ri--I totally get it.
112
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,730
But this is just a one-week
gig, nothing permanent.
113
00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:24,495
We could have you back there
in no time.
114
00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:26,297
Oh, um...
115
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,299
- I think
you'd be great for it.
116
00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,942
- Could I, uh, maybe think
about it?
117
00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:33,665
- Sure.
I'll email you the dates, okay?
118
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:34,843
Okay, thank you.
119
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,281
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
120
00:04:39,145 --> 00:04:41,605
- Yep.
Oh, yes, I get that.
121
00:04:41,681 --> 00:04:43,321
All right, well, um,
you know what?
122
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:44,676
Life is short,
and life is long.
123
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:47,494
So, hopefully
our paths cross soon.
124
00:04:47,587 --> 00:04:49,357
Okay, take care.
125
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:50,655
Bye.
126
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,787
- Motherfucker!
- Oh, good, you're off.
127
00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:56,530
Which wallpaper do you like
for our new office?
128
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,429
This one's
technically wrapping paper,
129
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,028
but it's beautiful.
130
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,343
- Okay, we need clients
to justify having an office,
131
00:05:02,435 --> 00:05:04,665
and we just lost another one
to Janet Stone.
132
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:07,671
- She's poaching everybody.
- Cunt!
133
00:05:07,774 --> 00:05:09,644
Okay, partner,
what's the play?
134
00:05:09,709 --> 00:05:12,179
- You know what? I'm just gonna
fucking call her.
135
00:05:12,278 --> 00:05:14,278
- Yeah, do it.
I love this side of you.
136
00:05:14,347 --> 00:05:16,147
- Okay.
137
00:05:16,215 --> 00:05:18,885
- Ah, Jimmy.I was waiting for your call.
138
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,485
But I don't have time to talk
because I'm going down
139
00:05:21,554 --> 00:05:23,494
your client list one by one,
you piece of shit.
140
00:05:23,556 --> 00:05:25,856
- Okay, you know what, Janet?
You listen to me. I'm--
141
00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:28,558
- Hi, Janet! Kayla Schaeffer
here, you dirty bitch.
142
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,031
- Oh, my God.
- You know, me and you
143
00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:31,499
can swing around
our big dicks all day,
144
00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:33,174
but the fact of the matter is--
145
00:05:33,232 --> 00:05:35,232
Hello?
146
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,795
Hello?
147
00:05:36,869 --> 00:05:38,969
Yeah, she's fucking us
up the ass, no lube,
148
00:05:39,038 --> 00:05:40,908
not even giving us
a little courtesy tug
149
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,037
before she jams her cock
in our guts.
150
00:05:43,142 --> 00:05:45,242
What is wrong with you?
151
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,805
- Should we get lunch?
- Yeah, I'm starving.
152
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,750
You're hangry.
153
00:05:49,849 --> 00:05:51,879
- So we closed
on Elaine's directing deal,
154
00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:54,024
but she apparently doesn't fly,
155
00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:56,657
so she's asking
that we reimburse her for gas.
156
00:05:56,723 --> 00:06:00,493
Also, her rider is just
jelly beans and Dulcolax.
157
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:02,100
- Are you sure about her?
- Please.
158
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:04,195
When men are quirky,
they're eccentric geniuses.
159
00:06:04,263 --> 00:06:06,103
When women are quirky,
they're jailed.
160
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,099
- Is that what's going on here?
She's just quirky?
161
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,002
God, I fucking hope so.
162
00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,271
Oh! I got the Palmetto.
163
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,684
Amazing.
164
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:17,342
So I guess
the auction went well.
165
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:19,450
- Yes, it did.
166
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,275
- But Marty
seems to have lost his mind.
167
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,193
He's getting engaged
to that elderly French woman.
168
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:28,962
- Oh, did he get her a ring
or a Life Alert bracelet?
169
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:36,704
I know! I thought
he only proposed to women
170
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:40,473
whose hair was still steaming
from a flat iron.
171
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,896
Well...
172
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:45,069
Don't give me that look.
173
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:49,079
- That wasn't real.
- The diamond was real.
174
00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:51,982
- We were drunk and in Monaco,
for Christ's sake.
175
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,554
Even if he was serious,
176
00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:58,916
I had to prioritize
my business.
177
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,815
You can understand that.
178
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,620
I certainly can.
179
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:08,727
- Previouslyon "The Amazing Race"...
180
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:14,128
Deborah?
181
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:15,673
- Oh, hi.
Come on in.
182
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,008
So I got a call
183
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,980
about a punch-up gig
that's a week long.
184
00:07:26,078 --> 00:07:28,678
I was gonna say no, but Jimmy
thinks it's a great credit,
185
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,281
and it might be fun,
but, obviously,
186
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,319
I would never let anything
interfere with our work.
187
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:34,848
But it's just a week,
so I'd be back super quick.
188
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:37,324
- Why are you standing
so far away?
189
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:41,485
- Just to be
out of slapping range.
190
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,474
- What are the dates?
- Well, it starts the 20th.
191
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,873
And it's only a week.
192
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,768
- Oh, I just booked
the Palmetto for the 24th
193
00:07:51,838 --> 00:07:53,768
- for the taping.
- Oh, God.
194
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,540
Never mind then.
Of course I'm not taking it.
195
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,152
Jesus, can you imagine
if I missed the taping?
196
00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:00,882
No. God, no.
197
00:08:03,049 --> 00:08:04,679
You should do it.
198
00:08:04,784 --> 00:08:06,624
- What?
No way.
199
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:08,686
- You've seen the show
200 times.
200
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,888
It's ready.
The hay's in the barn.
201
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:14,360
It's--it's fine, really.
202
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,360
Well...
203
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:18,032
thank you.
204
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:19,970
- But only if you're sure.
- I'm sure.
205
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:21,832
And you should stay at my house
while you're there.
206
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,541
- Oh, thanks,
but I actually ran into my ex
207
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:26,207
when we were in L.A.,
and we've been texting,
208
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:29,175
so I think I might
stay at her place.
209
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:30,512
Oh...
210
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,136
Oh, speaking of houses,
211
00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:34,481
I finally got a place here,
and it's ten minutes away.
212
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,847
- Oh, great.
I'll tell my lawyers--
213
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,247
one more asset
for them to go after.
214
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,393
It's just a rental, so...
215
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,918
Oh, sorry to hear that.
216
00:08:45,024 --> 00:08:47,764
- You know, I actually think
we would do really well
217
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,600
on "Amazing Race" together.
218
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:51,255
Hmm.
219
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,174
- I could never fly coach.
220
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:56,773
- We'd make up time, though,
on the puzzles.
221
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:57,899
100%.
222
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,011
- And cut!
223
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:08,279
- All right, that's a cut.
- That's a cut!
224
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,951
- Her purse strap
fell in that one.
225
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:12,079
- Oh, it's okay--we can cut
around that, I think.
226
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:14,124
Ava, oh, my God, that blow was
so much better--thank you.
227
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,790
- Oh, good, and if you
can convince the network
228
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,618
to get on board with incest,
229
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,763
I actually have an incest joke
that helps the story a little.
230
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:22,259
This is funny.
231
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,631
- Okay, let's go again.
- Goin' again.
232
00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,100
- Let's roll sound.
- Rolling!
233
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:28,028
- Hey, can you run this alt
to Gillian?
234
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:29,400
Copy that.
235
00:09:43,282 --> 00:09:44,982
Ms. Vance?
236
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,094
Someone here to see you,
a manager.
237
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:49,563
- Oh, yes, thank you, Davis.
Show them in.
238
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,891
- Deborah!
- Janet.
239
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,490
- H-hey.
240
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:57,795
Wow, interesting vibe.
241
00:09:57,897 --> 00:10:00,167
- Yeah, Mr. Ludwig
did a bit of a reno.
242
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,826
Wish it wouldn't be
so on the nose
243
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,274
for me to burn it down.
244
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,006
Well, I don't want to keep you.
245
00:10:06,105 --> 00:10:08,565
I just wanted to pop in
and say, "Have a great show."
246
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,611
- Thank you.
I really need it to work.
247
00:10:11,677 --> 00:10:13,747
Oh, it will, and...
248
00:10:13,813 --> 00:10:15,923
we don't have
to, um, do this now,
249
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:19,122
- but you know why I'm here.
- Right.
250
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:21,515
Listen, I love Jimmy.
251
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,361
I think he does really well
in this business,
252
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,586
especially for a man
under 6'1".
253
00:10:25,658 --> 00:10:28,358
- But he's not cutthroat.
254
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:31,701
Yeah, well, he's a sweet kid.
255
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,197
- Sure, but he doesn't have
the resources
256
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,670
to support you on his own.
257
00:10:36,769 --> 00:10:37,869
Think about it.
258
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,840
As good a saleswoman
as you are--
259
00:10:39,939 --> 00:10:41,339
and you are fucking lava--
260
00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,480
without the QVC machine
behind you,
261
00:10:43,542 --> 00:10:46,652
would you be able
to sell as many products?
262
00:10:46,712 --> 00:10:48,352
You're not wrong.
263
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:50,877
- Oh, anyway,
I-I don't want to distract you.
264
00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,493
But I think
we should talk after.
265
00:10:53,552 --> 00:10:55,692
I've got some big ideas.
266
00:10:55,788 --> 00:10:57,718
Okay, sure.
267
00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,293
- That's what I want to hear!
268
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:03,829
All right! You're gonna kill it
out there, girl.
269
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,496
Ah, thanks, Janet.
270
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:11,900
- No, your bikini wax
is not a company write-off.
271
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:13,644
- It was just the back.
- Kayla.
272
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:15,006
Okay, fine, but my trainer
273
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:16,714
said that anything
can be a write-off
274
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:18,709
if you just think about
business while it's happening.
275
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,911
- That is absolutely not true.
You need to fire that person.
276
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:22,253
- No way.
She's a write-off.
277
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,548
- Jimmy.
How was your trip in?
278
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:27,090
Were you able to get
a good seat on the Greyhound?
279
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,646
- Ha ha.
For your information,
280
00:11:28,721 --> 00:11:30,191
I'm actually
United Premier Platinum,
281
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:32,256
and I had a delicious
in-flight bistro box,
282
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:33,858
- thank you very much.
283
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,356
Okay, little miss fuck stick,
284
00:11:35,428 --> 00:11:36,858
what in the name
of the Devil's uncut dick
285
00:11:36,929 --> 00:11:38,729
- are you doing here?
- Oh, my God.
286
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,001
- Same as you.
I'm here for Deborah's taping.
287
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:43,067
We just had a lovely chat.
288
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:44,569
She's so sweet.
289
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:46,410
- I know.
- Hmm.
290
00:11:46,505 --> 00:11:48,705
Told you I was going
down your client list.
291
00:11:48,774 --> 00:11:51,214
And I finally got to the Vs.
292
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,107
Enjoy the show.
293
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,621
Nice ass, by the way, bitch!
294
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,117
- Kayla!
- What?
295
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,718
It's--She's gorgeous.
296
00:12:04,857 --> 00:12:06,187
Here we go.
297
00:12:06,258 --> 00:12:07,628
- Well, hello.
- Hey, Jimmy.
298
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,527
I-I'm kind of
in a pre-show mode.
299
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:11,855
Can we catch up after?
300
00:12:11,931 --> 00:12:15,741
- Of course, yeah.
Um...break a leg.
301
00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,241
Thank you.
302
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:19,473
- She means both of us.
Come on.
303
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:28,412
- Excuse me. Excuse me!
- Oh, excuse me!
304
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,751
- VIPs coming through.
Check the pass.
305
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,216
- Why can't we go down
the other aisle?
306
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:34,294
- Because we're VIPs
and people need to know.
307
00:12:34,386 --> 00:12:36,616
- Oh, I like your jumpsuit, girl.
- This don't make no sense.
308
00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:38,062
Okay, here we go.
309
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,634
I want you to get B-roll
of the crowd filing in.
310
00:12:40,726 --> 00:12:42,596
Oh, wait, wait.
Hold on.
311
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:45,131
I-I forgot my contacts.
I can't see shit.
312
00:12:45,231 --> 00:12:46,671
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
313
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,926
- I'm kidding! You guys
are so fucking serious!
314
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,771
- Oh, my God.
- It's a comedy show!
315
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,936
You wouldn't have lasted a day
with Andy Kaufman.
316
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:55,505
He ran my dog over as a bit,
and I loved it.
317
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,008
Okay!
318
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:59,509
- Ladies and gentlemen,please take your seats.
319
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:01,682
The program will be startingmomentarily.
320
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,821
- If you think about it, our
seats are way better than hers,
321
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:05,986
'cause it's, like, center--
we have a bird's-eye view.
322
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:07,515
- Hmm.
- You know?
323
00:13:09,288 --> 00:13:11,988
- I'm so sorry, sir,
but there's no outside drinks
324
00:13:12,091 --> 00:13:15,261
- in the theater.
325
00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:16,857
Oh.
326
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:20,172
- Casino comps me this ticket.
That's the way they treat you.
327
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:23,966
- Bullshit, right?
328
00:13:24,036 --> 00:13:26,636
- Should've seen
Criss Angel again.
329
00:13:36,982 --> 00:13:39,892
Not a good time.
330
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:43,360
Hey.
331
00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,685
- Wha--
what are you doing here?
332
00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:47,891
- Oh, I left
that punch-up gig early.
333
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,033
Well, I forgot I had tickets
to Cirque du Soleil,
334
00:13:50,129 --> 00:13:51,629
and it's the weird sex one,
335
00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,167
so I really don't want
to miss it.
336
00:13:54,633 --> 00:13:56,403
- But I'll probably watch
your taping first,
337
00:13:56,502 --> 00:13:58,672
you know,
since I'm here anyway.
338
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:01,869
I'm glad you are.
339
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,080
Me too.
340
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,881
This dressing room is ass.
341
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:15,492
- Okay, showtime.
Everybody ready?
342
00:14:15,554 --> 00:14:17,494
Kill the houselights.
343
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:19,426
Bobby, frame up, please.
344
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:25,103
- Whoo!
345
00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,897
- Okay, "A" camera,
let's settle in for the wide,
346
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,600
and, Sal,
let's bring out our girl
347
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,673
in three, two, one,
348
00:14:33,739 --> 00:14:35,169
rock and roll.
349
00:14:35,241 --> 00:14:36,841
Ladies and gentlemen,
350
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:40,449
returning to the Palmettofor one special night,
351
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,406
please welcome to the stage
352
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:47,694
the one, the onlyDeborah Vance!
353
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:02,432
Wow, thank you.
354
00:15:13,112 --> 00:15:14,982
It's true.
It's true.
355
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,950
Yeah, and, of course, it's hard
to lose a husband and a sister
356
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,990
at the same time.
357
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:24,085
But it makes
Christmas shopping way easier.
358
00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:30,832
And I don't--I don't excuse
what they did.
359
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:34,230
But in some ways, there really
was nowhere else for them to go
360
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:38,240
except toward each other...
361
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:42,474
because it was all about me
and my career.
362
00:15:42,574 --> 00:15:45,344
There was no space
left in my marriage
363
00:15:45,444 --> 00:15:48,014
or in my relationship
with her...
364
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,653
anywhere.
365
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:53,619
That's what I do.
I take up too much space.
366
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,686
I did it back then,
and I still do it today.
367
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,418
I take up space
in every room I'm in,
368
00:15:57,489 --> 00:16:00,329
on my tour bus,
on the icons float
369
00:16:00,426 --> 00:16:02,626
at the Vegas Pride Parade.
370
00:16:02,695 --> 00:16:05,355
But, you know,
I love taking up space,
371
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:06,674
which is painfully ironic,
372
00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,595
because as
we've established here,
373
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,537
I am
a high-functioning anorexic.
374
00:16:12,538 --> 00:16:14,768
- Johnny, you read my mind.
Stay right there.
375
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,880
Push in, slow...
376
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,676
slow.
377
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,277
Not that slow, buddy.
378
00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:22,346
Yeah, bingo.
You got it.
379
00:16:22,448 --> 00:16:23,848
Damn, I'm good.
380
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,049
- And that same year,
the Vatican came after me,
381
00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,791
because they said
I called the Pope a pedophile
382
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,394
on national television.
383
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:32,729
I-I didn't.
384
00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,455
I called him a pedophile-phile
385
00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:38,497
because he loves
being around pedophiles.
386
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,204
It's different.
It's different.
387
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:46,173
- Oh, hey.
388
00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,708
- Yeah, so then...
- Hey, you--you all right?
389
00:16:48,807 --> 00:16:50,407
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
390
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:52,339
- My sponsors started
pulling ads from my tour.
391
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,981
- Oh, my God.
392
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:55,876
Oh, my God.
393
00:16:55,981 --> 00:16:57,081
Oh, my God.
394
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:58,752
- What's the matter?
- Hey, sir.
395
00:16:58,851 --> 00:16:59,921
Everything okay?
396
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:01,489
- He's seizing!
- Oh, shit.
397
00:17:01,553 --> 00:17:03,923
- He needs help. Call 911.
- Oh, Jesus. Okay.
398
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:05,322
Has anyone called
the paramedics?
399
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:07,091
Has anyone called for help?
400
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,732
Somebody call the paramedics!
401
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:10,327
- What the fuck is going on
down there?
402
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:11,896
Sal, talk to me.
403
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:14,097
John, go get the medic.
Go get the house medic.
404
00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,369
Tara, do not turn
the houselights up.
405
00:17:16,435 --> 00:17:17,935
- It'll be all right.
It'll be all right.
406
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,037
I'm sure they're on their way.
407
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,165
- Down here.
- Okay, here they come.
408
00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:23,441
Shit!
409
00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:29,883
- It's all right, everybody.
I-it's all right.
410
00:17:29,948 --> 00:17:33,618
He's--he's being taken care of.
They'll take care of him.
411
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,720
It's all right.
It's all right.
412
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,289
Not to worry--
413
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,360
we got trained professionals
taking care of him now.
414
00:17:40,426 --> 00:17:43,356
He's in good hands.
415
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:46,929
Everybody stay calm.
Please stay in your seats.
416
00:17:47,032 --> 00:17:50,272
Just--please.
417
00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:52,969
- Check the pupils.
418
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,912
- Yeah, I'm getting--dilated.
- What's the reading?
419
00:17:54,973 --> 00:17:57,813
- Is he okay?
420
00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,550
- I'm calling it--
8:47.
421
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,790
It'll be all right, yeah.
422
00:18:18,897 --> 00:18:21,267
- He's okay!
He's okay, folks!
423
00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,114
Oh!
424
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:29,172
How 'bout that?
425
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:32,284
Thank God!
426
00:18:32,344 --> 00:18:34,584
All right, we're back, baby.
427
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:37,346
Okay, I need a close-up on C
and a refill.
428
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,749
Bobby, finally,
a frame I could use.
429
00:18:39,818 --> 00:18:41,618
Welcome to the show.
430
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,517
- Thank God.
Thank God.
431
00:18:43,622 --> 00:18:45,492
Yeah, not the first man
who's faked his own death
432
00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:48,461
to get away from me.
433
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,697
- Not the first.
- I'm so glad he's okay.
434
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,996
- No. Dead.
Absolutely dead.
435
00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:57,869
- Anyway, so my sponsors start
pulling their ads...
436
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:06,812
- Oh, my God.
You crushed.
437
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,149
- That was amazing.
- It got scary for a minute.
438
00:19:10,215 --> 00:19:14,545
And I'm just, uh,
so glad that man is okay.
439
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,393
Yes. I am as well.
440
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:19,359
Yeah.
441
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,388
Your dad would be proud of you.
442
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:23,995
Wow.
443
00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:25,502
Thank you.
444
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,574
- Whoo!
- Great show.
445
00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,396
- Deborah, girl!
- Hey!
446
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:31,902
Think they liked it!
447
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:33,414
Deborah, a triumph!
448
00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:35,665
It is gonna cut
like butter, baby.
449
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,581
- Oh, thank you, honey.
Champagne?
450
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,376
- No, I got Clamato.
- Okay, all right.
451
00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,578
- Whoo!
- Cheers! Whoo!
452
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,980
- Whoo!
Bravo, Deborah!
453
00:19:45,050 --> 00:19:47,990
Not news to me,
but you are a star.
454
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:51,593
Handled the right way,
this can be huge for you.
455
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,360
- I think it will be handled
the right way,
456
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:56,255
because I have excellent
representation with Jimmy.
457
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,231
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
458
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,100
- So thanks for coming
all the way out here,
459
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:01,829
but I think
it's time for you to go.
460
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:04,870
- And just so you know,
I'm sticking with Jimmy, too.
461
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:08,437
- I don't know who you are.
462
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,910
- And guess what, sweetie.
You're never gonna!
463
00:20:11,009 --> 00:20:12,509
- Well, no,
I would like for her--
464
00:20:12,578 --> 00:20:14,078
You will not know her!
465
00:20:14,179 --> 00:20:16,619
- I would like for her
to know who I am eventually.
466
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:22,545
- Oh, there you are.
Aren't you coming in?
467
00:20:22,621 --> 00:20:24,761
Yeah, yeah.
468
00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:27,886
I was just taking a second.
But you did great.
469
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,430
They loved you.
470
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:31,398
- You okay?
- Mm-hmm.
471
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:35,531
I mean...
it was kind of hard to hear.
472
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:36,871
You know?
473
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:38,895
I-I just--I can't believe
you never told me
474
00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,441
any of that before, you know?
475
00:20:40,539 --> 00:20:42,269
It was one thing
to find out all that stuff
476
00:20:42,374 --> 00:20:43,814
about you and Dad--
it's another thing
477
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,779
to find it out
with 3,000 other people.
478
00:20:45,877 --> 00:20:47,977
- Yeah, I don't know why
it's always been easier for me
479
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,450
to tell things to strangers.
480
00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:54,889
- Well, therapy's just talking
to one stranger in private.
481
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:56,593
- Well, my insurance
doesn't cover it.
482
00:20:56,655 --> 00:20:58,115
What can I tell you?
483
00:20:58,223 --> 00:21:01,093
- Yeah, well,
it's not as expensive as IVF.
484
00:21:01,159 --> 00:21:02,659
- Oh, yeah.
How's that going?
485
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,601
- Good.
Good, you know?
486
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:06,603
Three weeks out
till our next round.
487
00:21:06,665 --> 00:21:10,665
Although, I don't know,
seems like being a parent--
488
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,339
pretty tough.
489
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,507
I-I always thought
that you just didn't even try.
490
00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:18,137
But after tonight,
I'm finding out you did try
491
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:20,483
to be a good parent,
and you still fucked it up.
492
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:24,279
So I'm kind of scared
that I'm going to, too.
493
00:21:24,349 --> 00:21:26,619
You will.
494
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,685
It's impossible not to.
495
00:21:30,422 --> 00:21:32,362
But it's worth it.
496
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:38,500
Hey, look, I wore
a good-luck charm tonight.
497
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:41,701
Oh, my God.
498
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:43,970
That's a D'Jewelry 2019.
499
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:46,866
- It's gonna be in the special.
500
00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:49,042
- Thank you.
- Of course.
501
00:21:50,275 --> 00:21:51,835
It turned my wrist black,
sweetie.
502
00:21:51,943 --> 00:21:54,113
- Oh, that's--that's
really good for you.
503
00:21:54,179 --> 00:21:56,009
That's the iron.
504
00:21:56,114 --> 00:21:57,554
- Uh-huh.
505
00:21:57,649 --> 00:22:00,649
- I mean, I think news bloopers
are funny, you know?
506
00:22:00,719 --> 00:22:03,219
Okay, can we go out tonight?
507
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,722
- Sure.
- I'm down.
508
00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,563
- Yeah, I want
to get fucked up.
509
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:08,328
- Wow.
510
00:22:08,393 --> 00:22:10,163
- Okay. Sure.
- Okay.
511
00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:12,398
- Wait, where's Marcus?
- Oh, I don't know.
512
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:14,227
He said
he had to go see someone.
513
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,870
Hi.
514
00:22:19,971 --> 00:22:21,411
Hi.
515
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,136
- Sorry for the random stop-by.
516
00:22:23,208 --> 00:22:24,378
Is everything okay?
517
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,076
- Yes.
Yes, everything's fine.
518
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,748
- Wait, doesn't Deborah
have, like, a big show tonight?
519
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:31,677
- She does,
but I don't have to be there.
520
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:34,990
I was hoping
that we could talk.
521
00:22:35,053 --> 00:22:36,423
Sure.
522
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:40,261
But I should let you know
that I am seeing someone.
523
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,429
- Good.
That's good for you.
524
00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:43,757
That's--
525
00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:46,572
I obviously was not ready
for a relationship.
526
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:48,765
- Yeah.
527
00:22:48,867 --> 00:22:51,767
- Well, I'm down to talk as
friends, if that works for you.
528
00:22:51,870 --> 00:22:55,270
- Honestly, I think
that's exactly what I need.
529
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:56,844
Well, that
and extensive therapy.
530
00:22:56,908 --> 00:22:58,608
- Some hypnosis.
531
00:22:58,710 --> 00:23:02,380
- Little electric shock--
- Okay, you're not that bad.
532
00:23:02,447 --> 00:23:04,377
- Here, come in.
- Thank you.
533
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:06,449
- By the way,
your mom's been texting me.
534
00:23:06,551 --> 00:23:08,891
- Wrestling stuff.
- Yeah.
535
00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:11,694
- So now how it works is I'm
technically your manager, too.
536
00:23:11,757 --> 00:23:13,457
Hmm, is that how it works?
537
00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:15,088
Deborah, you have a sec?
538
00:23:15,193 --> 00:23:19,263
- Yeah, I'm just putting shrimp
under his pillows.
539
00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:20,774
- Cool.
Uh, maybe tomorrow
540
00:23:20,866 --> 00:23:22,626
we could talk
about re-pitching networks.
541
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:25,144
- No. I've been thinking
about that,
542
00:23:25,237 --> 00:23:27,467
and I have another idea.
543
00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:30,042
Every product
I've ever offered here,
544
00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:33,548
every necklace, every lip kit,
every quilted bootie
545
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:35,412
is something
I would buy myself,
546
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,450
because it's something
I believe in
547
00:23:37,549 --> 00:23:39,719
and I can't sell it to you
if it's not.
548
00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:41,045
So trust me
when I tell you
549
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,119
that I've never believed
in something more
550
00:23:43,221 --> 00:23:44,991
than what
I'm offering you today.
551
00:23:45,090 --> 00:23:47,390
This product
not only has my name on it,
552
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:49,829
but it is me entirely,
553
00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:51,828
and the reason it's so special
554
00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,400
is because it is my special...
555
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:55,896
- Whoo!
- "My Bad."
556
00:23:57,402 --> 00:24:00,672
It's my life story--
the highs, the lows,
557
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:03,012
the time the China trade wars
stopped shipments
558
00:24:03,108 --> 00:24:05,108
of my Mrs. Claus
self-sealing cookie jars.
559
00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:06,747
Oh, that was horrible.
560
00:24:06,812 --> 00:24:08,012
- Wasn't that
a little bit of hell?
561
00:24:08,113 --> 00:24:09,613
- Horrible. Oh, God.
- Yeah.
562
00:24:09,681 --> 00:24:12,821
And like all my products,
with the rare exception
563
00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:15,518
of the jean-ish leggings
last fall,
564
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,120
I've road-tested it myself.
565
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:19,159
I've taken it all over
the country, and it works.
566
00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:22,687
It's what I've always wanted
to say to you, the truth,
567
00:24:22,794 --> 00:24:24,134
whether I like it or not.
568
00:24:24,196 --> 00:24:26,196
- So let's go!
- Yes!
569
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,098
Okay, now, Deborah,
what if some of our viewers
570
00:24:29,167 --> 00:24:31,037
do not have a DVD player?
571
00:24:31,136 --> 00:24:33,366
- Oh, I'd say get one.
It's the future.
572
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,142
But it will also include
a downloadable link
573
00:24:35,207 --> 00:24:36,707
for your adult children
to stream.
574
00:24:36,808 --> 00:24:38,138
That is wonderful.
575
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:42,510
Okay, well, we have
already sold 2,000 units.
576
00:24:42,614 --> 00:24:45,484
- We only have 50,000 units...
- What?
577
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:47,220
Um, available today.
578
00:24:47,319 --> 00:24:50,219
We are absolutely flying here.
579
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:53,162
I am getting word from
our producers--oh, my gosh--
580
00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:56,895
that this a record for units
sold in under five minutes.
581
00:24:56,995 --> 00:24:58,225
- Wow.
- We are on track
582
00:24:58,330 --> 00:24:59,870
to sell out,
ladies and gentlemen.
583
00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:01,895
We're getting
into Slanket territory.
584
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,070
That's incredible.
585
00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:05,299
Thank you.
586
00:25:05,370 --> 00:25:07,570
- I guess
there is money in DVDs.
587
00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:10,142
- I just loved it.
You know, it's been a minute
588
00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:13,478
since I've seen an actual
DVD box, and I miss 'em.
589
00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:16,923
- Oof.
- Ooh!
590
00:25:17,015 --> 00:25:18,515
I am so excited to tell her.
591
00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:20,093
Honestly, this is
the best part of the job,
592
00:25:20,185 --> 00:25:21,685
you know,
delivering good news.
593
00:25:21,753 --> 00:25:23,823
Makes all the stress worth it.
594
00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:25,089
Totally.
595
00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:26,690
- Hi, Jimmy.
- Hey, Deborah,
596
00:25:26,758 --> 00:25:29,158
- I have great news.
- Everyone wants it, bitch!
597
00:25:29,227 --> 00:25:30,427
- Whoo!
- Kayla.
598
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,159
- I-I-I'm sorry.
What are you saying?
599
00:25:32,230 --> 00:25:34,770
I was saying...
600
00:25:34,866 --> 00:25:36,736
every network is in.
601
00:25:36,835 --> 00:25:38,235
They all want to acquirethe rights.
602
00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:39,436
We are gonna have
a bidding war.
603
00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:40,838
- Boom.
- Plus, "Variety"
604
00:25:40,906 --> 00:25:42,606
- wants to do a cover story.
- What?
605
00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,437
- And "The Wall Street Journal"
is interested in a feature
606
00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:45,883
on the whole
"bet on yourself" approach.
607
00:25:45,944 --> 00:25:47,554
- Okay, sweetie, thanks.
That sounds good.
608
00:25:47,612 --> 00:25:49,282
Um, but I'm right
in the middle of a meeting.
609
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:50,451
So got to go.
610
00:25:50,549 --> 00:25:52,619
Oh, um, okay.
611
00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:54,687
Bye.
612
00:26:16,775 --> 00:26:18,435
Hello, all.
613
00:26:18,543 --> 00:26:21,383
I just wanted to say that we
are so incredibly excited
614
00:26:21,446 --> 00:26:23,106
to be the home
for Deborah Vance's
615
00:26:23,214 --> 00:26:26,284
hilarious, provocative
new special.
616
00:26:26,384 --> 00:26:28,824
Yeah.
617
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,720
And now I would like
to introduce the living legend,
618
00:26:31,790 --> 00:26:33,930
Deborah Vance,
to say a few words.
619
00:26:33,992 --> 00:26:34,892
Deb.
620
00:26:38,096 --> 00:26:39,596
- Hi, everybody.
Thank you.
621
00:26:39,664 --> 00:26:41,004
Thank you so much for coming.
622
00:26:41,099 --> 00:26:42,499
I really want to thank
the network
623
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:44,441
for taking a chance on this--
624
00:26:44,502 --> 00:26:46,002
once it was already successful
625
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:47,674
and there was
literally no risk.
626
00:26:49,808 --> 00:26:51,338
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
627
00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:53,483
No, but there is a risk,
obviously,
628
00:26:53,578 --> 00:26:57,518
supporting an elderly,
messy bitch comedian.
629
00:26:57,616 --> 00:26:59,016
But enough about Bill Maher.
630
00:26:59,117 --> 00:27:00,517
Um...
631
00:27:00,619 --> 00:27:03,249
I'm joking.
Bill and I are old friends.
632
00:27:03,321 --> 00:27:04,691
We vacation together.
633
00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:08,629
Anyway, uh, but I really want
to thank my team,
634
00:27:08,693 --> 00:27:10,333
who always had my back.
635
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,296
Love you.
And my amazing director--
636
00:27:14,366 --> 00:27:16,026
where is she?
Elaine Carter--there she is!
637
00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:19,304
Elaine Carter.
She did an amazing job!
638
00:27:19,371 --> 00:27:20,971
Amazing job.
639
00:27:21,039 --> 00:27:25,879
And I especially want to give
credit to my co-writer,
640
00:27:25,977 --> 00:27:28,207
Ava Daniels,
641
00:27:28,313 --> 00:27:31,483
who pushed me
and never let me quit.
642
00:27:31,549 --> 00:27:33,649
Thank you, Ava.
643
00:27:38,657 --> 00:27:41,127
So cheers, everybody.
Have fun.
644
00:27:41,192 --> 00:27:42,392
Don't drink and drive.
645
00:27:42,494 --> 00:27:43,904
I don't want to be
upstaged tonight.
646
00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:47,297
Thank you.
Thanks again for coming.
647
00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:52,536
Amazing.
648
00:27:52,637 --> 00:27:55,407
- Hi, you killed it, lady.
649
00:27:55,507 --> 00:27:56,637
Iconic!
650
00:27:56,708 --> 00:27:57,808
- Really!
651
00:27:57,876 --> 00:27:59,236
- Thanks.
- I have some people
652
00:27:59,344 --> 00:28:00,814
that I need you to talk to.
653
00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:03,009
That is Simone--she's one
of our head executives.
654
00:28:03,081 --> 00:28:04,921
Okay, say hello, and this is...
655
00:28:19,064 --> 00:28:21,104
Hmm. You know,
they're having a party
656
00:28:21,199 --> 00:28:23,099
for you down there.
657
00:28:23,201 --> 00:28:25,441
- I thought
you weren't drinking.
658
00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:28,337
Ah, what else am I good for?
659
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:31,708
We fuckin' did it.
660
00:28:31,776 --> 00:28:33,776
We did.
661
00:28:33,878 --> 00:28:36,278
- We did.
662
00:28:42,887 --> 00:28:45,957
So, moving forward, I can
extend your health insurance
663
00:28:46,057 --> 00:28:49,457
six months and offer
three months' severance.
664
00:28:49,561 --> 00:28:53,261
Ha ha, funny.
665
00:28:57,202 --> 00:29:00,242
Wait. What?
You're not serious.
666
00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:02,735
I am.
667
00:29:02,807 --> 00:29:06,137
- Are--you're firing me?
668
00:29:06,244 --> 00:29:08,254
Are you fucking kidding?
669
00:29:08,313 --> 00:29:10,323
Why?
Things are good.
670
00:29:10,415 --> 00:29:12,375
- Wha--
- Things are good.
671
00:29:12,450 --> 00:29:15,420
And they could keep being good
for a very long time.
672
00:29:15,487 --> 00:29:16,817
That's the problem.
673
00:29:16,921 --> 00:29:18,491
You need to make space
for your own work.
674
00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,130
- Come on.
I know what you're doing.
675
00:29:20,225 --> 00:29:22,725
You're pushing me away
because you're afraid.
676
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:27,433
- Those people,
they want you right now.
677
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:29,329
They won't forever.
678
00:29:29,434 --> 00:29:31,174
You got to take advantage
of that.
679
00:29:31,269 --> 00:29:32,469
You got to be a shark.
680
00:29:32,570 --> 00:29:33,940
You got to do
what's best for you.
681
00:29:34,005 --> 00:29:36,405
- I get to decide
what's best for me.
682
00:29:36,474 --> 00:29:38,184
- You didn't take credit
for the special,
683
00:29:38,276 --> 00:29:39,806
- and you should have.
684
00:29:39,911 --> 00:29:41,281
- You left
that punch-up job early.
685
00:29:41,346 --> 00:29:43,916
- I came back for you.
- That's my point.
686
00:29:43,982 --> 00:29:46,122
And what
about that screenplay idea?
687
00:29:46,184 --> 00:29:48,594
Have you even started on that?
Have you?
688
00:29:48,653 --> 00:29:53,023
- Wha--I've been busy, and
my Final Draft is corrupted.
689
00:29:53,124 --> 00:29:56,694
- And I would keep you busy.
It's like you said.
690
00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:58,995
I'm gonna keep working
until the day I die.
691
00:29:59,097 --> 00:30:01,297
Do you know how old
you're gonna be when I'm 109?
692
00:30:01,366 --> 00:30:04,296
- Please don't make me
do math right now.
693
00:30:05,637 --> 00:30:08,267
You're the one
with all the stories.
694
00:30:08,339 --> 00:30:10,209
What do I even have to say?
695
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:12,208
That's the thing.
696
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:14,650
You got to go figure it out.
697
00:30:14,712 --> 00:30:16,382
I told you...
698
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:18,881
you're just like me.
699
00:30:21,786 --> 00:30:24,016
You got
your own mountain to climb.
700
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:29,461
But we're--
we're good together.
701
00:30:29,527 --> 00:30:32,997
I don't want to be here.
I--
702
00:30:33,064 --> 00:30:35,674
I want to be wherever you are.
703
00:30:35,733 --> 00:30:38,173
- I got to get back.
- No, wait, whoa!
704
00:30:38,236 --> 00:30:39,966
Deborah, that's it?
705
00:30:40,038 --> 00:30:43,238
We're not gonna talk anymore?
I won't see you?
706
00:30:43,341 --> 00:30:45,711
Oh, you'll see me...
707
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:47,350
in court.
708
00:31:26,751 --> 00:31:28,221
Hey, Jimmy, what's up?
709
00:31:28,286 --> 00:31:30,456
- Hey, how's the new place?
- Uh, it's good.
710
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:31,885
I-I'm actually kind of excited
711
00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:33,956
to reenter subletter culture,
you know?
712
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:37,298
We got no ties, no rules,
no ability to paint.
713
00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:39,555
Uh, so I have some good news.
714
00:31:39,631 --> 00:31:40,801
That pilot
you did punch-ups for
715
00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:42,299
was just picked up to series,
716
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,140
and apparentlya bunch of your jokes
717
00:31:44,235 --> 00:31:46,035
ended up in the final cut,and they called to ask
718
00:31:46,104 --> 00:31:47,914
if you're available to staff.
719
00:31:47,972 --> 00:31:49,112
- Seriously?
- Yep.
720
00:31:49,207 --> 00:31:50,637
The job is yours
if you want it,
721
00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:52,912
as long as you promise
not to leave early again.
722
00:31:52,977 --> 00:31:54,147
Amazing.
723
00:31:54,245 --> 00:31:57,645
- Also, I have some news
from Deborah.
724
00:31:57,749 --> 00:31:59,249
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
725
00:31:59,317 --> 00:32:03,117
She called this morning.
She's dropping the lawsuit.
726
00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:05,991
- Oh, that--that's great.
727
00:32:06,090 --> 00:32:09,890
- Amazing, right?Isn't that a relief?
728
00:32:09,961 --> 00:32:11,331
- So that court date--
729
00:32:11,429 --> 00:32:13,159
- Yep, stricken from the record
or whatever.
730
00:32:13,264 --> 00:32:15,004
You don't have to
worry about it.
731
00:32:15,099 --> 00:32:17,169
- Congrats.
- Thanks.
732
00:32:17,268 --> 00:32:19,568
- Uh, anyway,what else do I have for you?
733
00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:21,107
Oh, would you be interested
734
00:32:21,172 --> 00:32:22,842
in doing a half-day round table
for "Ice Age 12"?
735
00:32:22,941 --> 00:32:24,511
Are you familiar
with the "Ice Age" universe?
736
00:32:24,609 --> 00:32:26,509
They need a lot of womenin the room.
737
00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,251
They want a female perspective
738
00:32:28,313 --> 00:32:30,083
on the female woolly mammothcharacter they have.
739
00:32:30,148 --> 00:32:31,818
- Mm-hmm.
- It's spelled H-O-A-R,
740
00:32:31,916 --> 00:32:33,416
and you might want to pitchan alt on that.
741
00:32:33,484 --> 00:32:35,194
You know,sounds problematic to me.
742
00:32:35,286 --> 00:32:36,846
But what do I know, you know?I'm just a manager.
743
00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,355
AlthoughI do have good ideas.
744
00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:40,486
You know, it was my ideato do Fandango.
745
00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:42,131
- So you put ona gorgeous dress.
746
00:32:42,193 --> 00:32:43,933
You're all readyfor a night out on the town,
747
00:32:43,995 --> 00:32:45,195
but no one to zip you up?
748
00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:46,996
- Ugh.- What do you do?
749
00:32:47,098 --> 00:32:49,598
You hook this ingeniouslittle device to your zipper.
750
00:32:49,667 --> 00:32:51,797
Just a one, two, three.
751
00:32:51,869 --> 00:32:53,199
- Voilà.- Look at that.
752
00:32:53,304 --> 00:32:54,714
- Isn't that cuteand convenient?
753
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:57,206
- It is,and you don't need anybody.
754
00:32:57,308 --> 00:32:58,708
All you need is yourself.
755
00:32:58,810 --> 00:33:00,450
- You may not knowwhat the night
756
00:33:00,511 --> 00:33:02,281
has in store for you,but at least you know
757
00:33:02,347 --> 00:33:04,817
you're readyfor whatever comes.
51538
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