All language subtitles for Fucking Warned You!

Donald Trump is such an egomaniac, he
makes Hitler seem like he wasn't

completely sure how he felt about Jewish
people.

And now you're going to run for
president. Don't you think that's a

idea, you guys?

You keep him honest. You keep him
honest, Donald.

Firstly, I hope you win, because I can't
wait for the inauguration.

Yeah, the one time Trump lost, he said
it was rigged.

First,

there's two Trumps. The one in the red
tie is the real one.

The one in the blue tie is not. The one
you saw last night after the victory was

the blue tie.

Now, if you would punch up Dr.

Carson, Ben Carson, when Trump called
him a pedophile, and the next day he

joined Trump, and the guy asked him, see
every now and then you slip and slip,

sir? He said, why'd you do that? He
said, there's two Trumps.

I was with the good one.

You see that?

Just punch up when somebody interviewed
him, he said, there's two

Donald Trumps. That's easy to pull up.

Are there two Donald Trumps? There are,
but which one is running for president?

have seen? Well, I have seen a man who's
actually willing to sit down and engage

in deep, serious conversations about the
problems that affect our country. So he

said he has pathological disease.

Now, if you're pathological, there's no
cure for that, folks.

Okay?

There's no cure for that.

But if you're a child molester, there's
no cure.

They can't stop you.

There are two different Donald Trumps.

There's the one you see on the stage and
there's the one who's very cerebral,

sits there and considers things very
carefully. You can have a very good

conversation with him.

And that's the Donald Trump that you're
going to start seeing more and more of

right now.

I think there are two Donald Trumps.
There's the public version and people

that and I don't know what they see
exactly.

It seems to have worked over my
lifetime, but it's probably different, I

than the personal Donald Trump. I think
Ben would say that. Ben said it very

well.

I want to take a look at one of
Christopher Nolan's films.

There are plenty of reviews and analysis
of Inception, the Dark Knight trilogy,

and Memento, but I want to examine The
Prestige.

I'm not going to discuss the entire
film. I just want to focus on the twist.

We find out in the closing moments that
Borden is actually two people, identical

twin brothers.

Throughout their adult lives, they
alternate which of them is Fallon and

is Borden.

This is how he is able to perform his
magic trick, the transported man.

Now, the story of the prestige is a good
one, but what makes this film great is

Nolan's scripting and directing.

And what I admire so much about Nolan's
work here is how bold he is in the

opening 20 minutes of the film. What
he's done here is to set the stage for

as an audience.

First of all, he grabs the viewer's
attention with the opening line.

Are you watching closely?

Not only is this an attention grabber,
it is also a challenge to the audience.

Then he outlines the basic premise of a
magic trick, specifically a vanishing

and reappearing act.

So the challenge set forth by Nolan is,
can you figure out the secret behind the

magic? Now, this is bold, because then
Nolan gives us all of these verbal

We were two young men at the start of a
great career.

Two young men devoted to an illusion.

Two young men who never intended to hurt
anyone.

No one else could do my trick. Any trick
can be duplicated, right, Mr. Cutter?

Wrong. This is the trick.

This is the performance.

This is why Noah can detect his method.

Total devotion to his art.

A lot of self -sacrifice.

Anytime he's in public, anytime he goes
out.

Some think Borden saw it at once, but I
couldn't fathom it. I've lived my whole

life pretending to be someone else.

And that's not all.

Then he takes it a step further by
showing us this.

See?

He's alright. He's fine.

Look at him.

What was it, brother?

It was a lucky one today.

Nolan just told us the secret, and he
accomplishes this through carefully

mirroring these scenes.

First, he shows us the same vanishing
act as before.

A simple magic trick where one brother
disappears at the beginning of the

and then the other brother appears at
the end of it.

This trick is only possible because the
brothers are identical.

Then he shows us one of the brothers
locked in a cage.

And again, Nolan challenges us.

Are you watching closely?

Because he's about to show us the same
trick, but with people instead of birds.

Borden performs a different variation of
the same trick.

You knew damn well I was a snake before
you took me in.

One brother vanishes, and the other one
appears.

Again, only possible because they are
identical.

And he follows this up with a shot of
one of the brothers locked in a cage.

Nolan is able to fool the audience
through misdirection. He's essentially

performed his own magic trick.

And we're so caught up in the rapidly
developing storyline that we don't

that he's revealed the secret to us.

And Nolan knows that we aren't going to
see it because he teases us with this

line. Now, you're looking for the
secret, but you won't find it.

Because, of course, you're not really
looking.

You don't really want to know.

You want to be fooled.

I really don't understand why the
prestige is not brought up more often

discussing Nolan's best work. If you
haven't seen it, I'm sorry for ruining

ending. And if you have seen it, watch
it again. And this time, watch closely.

We find out in the closing moments that
Borden is actually two people, identical

twin brothers.

Throughout their adult lives, They
alternate which of them is Fallon and

is Borden. They alternate which of them
is Fallon and which is Borden.

I'm about to go out for my interview
with Jimmy Fallon.

I'll call you back after I comb my hair.

Talk to you in three hours. Me
interviewing me, that's what I call a

Of course it's a great idea. We thought
of it.

I'd also like you to get back to me, if
you don't mind, to explain the disparity

in REO rates. Do you know what an REO
is?

An Oreo?

R. No, not an Oreo.

There are two different Donald Trumps.

There's the one you see on the stage,
and there's the one who's very cerebral,

sits there and considers things very
carefully. You can have a very good

conversation with him.

That's the Donald Trump that you're
going to start seeing more and more of

now.

Me. No way. It's Donald Trump.

And we're going to be huge.

Let's get this party started.

Where are my golden double stuffed
cookies?

Right where they belong.

That's terrific.

It is. I really like it. I do, too.

Check it out. It's the new DSRL theme
song.

It's the league of the future. Now it's
got two Trumps. Trump, Trump, Trump,

Trump. Golden double -stuffed Oreo.

Trump.

I love it.

Hi, I'm Donald Trump, and I'll be here
with musical guest Toots and the Maytals

hosting Saturday Night Live, or as it
will soon be called, Trump Night Live.

Once upon a time on a small island
filled with glass towers, there lived a

prince. This prince had everything a man
could ever want, but was still not

happy. I wish there was a way I could
trade places with another man and be

of all this responsibility.

By the way, the guy's here to fix the
leak on your solid gold faucet.

Send him in.

You look exactly like me.

I have a proposition for you, my friend.
How would you like to trade places and

be me for one month?

Do you really think it would work?

And so the pauper and the prince
exchanged identities.

Well, I'm off to find my new happiness.

Now for the final test.

Let's see if my assistant, I mean, your
assistant, Carl, can tell the

difference. Look at this janitor here.

Ew. He's disgusting.

Carl, take this dirt bag out into the
swamps and shoot him.

Oh, wait a minute, Carl. I'm the prince.
Shut up, janitor. You're going on a six

-foot holiday.

You know, I think I'm going to like
being the prince.

I think there are two Donald Trumps.
There's the public version, and people

that, and I don't know what they see
exactly, but...

It seems to have worked over my
lifetime, but it's probably different, I

than the personal Donald Trump. I think
Ben would say that. Ben said it very

well today. So perhaps there are two
Donald Trumps.

Who is that guy?

I know him. Is he the community
announcer?

He's the president of America.

He has a clone.

He's an absolute idiot.

Yeah, I never liked him either.

Do a lot of people see this? The news? A
lot.

Then if we can get on there together,
people will see us and they'll know the

truth. Sometimes I think Donald

Trump is really a set of twins.

There's Donald Trump and Ronald Trump.

They're masquerading as the same person,
but sometimes they just can't get their

stories straight.

Welcome back. A fact is a fact.

is a fact. But President Trump's recent
comments to friends, as reported by the

New York Times, have made us wonder,
does he know about an alternative

his own bizarro world, where the sun is
the moon and a lie is the truth?

That's the subject of this week's State
of the Cartoon.

As comic book aficionados know, Superman
has his archenemy, Bizarro, who lives

in a topsy -turvy world where stop means
go and yes means no.

And increasingly, it sounds as though
there's a bizarro Trump, who also lives

a world of opposites. This reality, this
wonderful place.

In the real world, in reality, we all
heard President Trump say this about

hideous Access Hollywood tape.

I've said and done things I regret, and
the words released today on this more

than a decade -old video are one of
them. But for bizarro Trump?

Well, the New York Times reports that
he's still insisting the tape might not

his voice. Totally fake and made up.
It's like a novel.

Here on planet Earth, President Trump
finally admitted this.

President Barack Obama was born in the
United States, period.

But in bizarro world, we're told, the
president is still questioning the

authenticity of President Obama's birth
certificate.

In other breaking news, the world is
round, not flat. You can see this

phenomenon almost everywhere, whether
it's how often the president golfs or

well he's doing in the polls.

I'm getting tremendous support.

Even in your polls, I'm getting
tremendous support.

In fact, what we're all watching these
days, it makes a lot more sense if, as a

kid, you read a lot of Superman comics.

This is reality.

You know it. They know it. I know it.
And pretty much the whole world knows

It's video setting social media on fire.
A guy who's the spitting image of

President Trump.

The video shows a gentleman in a plaid
shirt checking out scratch -off lottery

tickets at a gas station convenience
store.

Look at his face.

He's a double for the president.

Separated at first, says one tweet.

So who's the mystery look -alike? I
would love to find out who this guy is.

One clue, the first six digits of the
gas station's phone number on the

It's a 903 area code.

Northeast Texas.

One citizen sleuth thinks it's a gas
station in the small town of

Texas. Population, 2 ,460.

Here's another clue. He's wearing a U
.S. Navy cap.

Whoever he is, he sure is Donald's
double.

Candidate's opera with Donald Trump is
the best crossover.

Donald Trump, infant.

the daily life of everybody in the whole
world, not only America.

The brothers have a very mild and
peaceful character.

I can't live like this anymore.

Maybe it's time to take a good hard look
in the mirror.

Hey, not that.

Oh, wait, that came with the room.

Oh, hello, handsome.

No, Donald, cut it out. No time for
that.

You gotta be honest. For once in your
life, get one thing off your chest where

you were at fault.

I'm not a hundred percent consistent.

Whoa! A little weight just came off me.

More, more.

You cheated golf?

You cheat on your taxes? Oh, oh, you
cheat on your wives.

Come on, go for it.

Here goes.

You've been acting like a narcissistic
sociopath, and 64 % to 67 % of the

hate you!

Yes! But no, the only person good enough
to be my vice president is me.

That's why 14 years ago, I created a
clone of myself.

He just graduated from the eighth grade,
and he's here tonight. He's just

fantastic.

So allow me to introduce your next vice
president, Little Donald.

Thank me. Thank me.

You know, it's just fantastic to be
here. It's just fantastic.

Isn't he beautiful?

Isn't he terrific?

Secretary Clinton is preparing for
anything and everything.

In fact, it is being reported that she
is actually prepping for two Trump at

debate. An on -message, disciplined
Donald Trump and a freewheeling Donald

Trump. And Donald Trump says he is two
Donald Trumps. And Dr. Ben Carson

agreeing and then disagreeing over
whether or not we're getting the real

Trump.

Jean -Claude Van Damme. He always makes
an impact.

Now, get ready for double impact.

There's two of them.

Think about it.

Van Damme.

Times two. He looks exactly like you.
Me?

Twin brothers.

You ever hear a guy named Nigel
Griffith?

That's like asking a New Yorker if he's
ever heard of Donald Trump.

I met with the president of the Virgin
Islands.

Who are you consulting with consistently
so that you're ready on day one?

I'm speaking with myself, number one.

It's been a tale of two presidents, the
Trump of quitter who lives in a dark,

deeply personal pool of feud and the
president who exists in a universe of

solid, tangible economic success.

Daniel Henninger with the Wall Street
Journal editorial board joins us now. He

is also a Fox News contributor.

Interesting piece for those who haven't
seen it. They can find it in the Wall

Street Journal. Indeed, a tale of two
presidents.

Yes, well, of course, it's Donald Trump,
John, and needless to say, he wasn't

going to settle for just one presidency.
He has given us two in one year. Look

at this guy.

Great, great, great, great, great. Isn't
he doing fantastic?

I've got to say, you're doing a great
job. In fact, I think this show just got

better by about two billion percent.

In fact, they just told me, Donald, they
just told me this very interesting,

that now that I'm here, this is actually
the best monologue in SNL history.

A tale of two Trumps. Dr. Jekyll Donald
meets Mr. Hyde Trump.

Two hours of Normandy showcase two
Donald Trumps. One presidential, one

despicable. Who will show up in 2020?

Okay, let's get to the wall.

A tale of two Trumps. The president uses
the sacred factor of Normandy to bash

the former special counsel and the
Speaker of the House.

That honors America's greatest
generation at the 75th anniversary of D

Will the real Donald Trump please stand
up?

The one in the red tie is the real one.

The one in the blue tie is not. The one
you saw last night after the victory was

the blue tie.

First, there's two Trumps.

The one in the red tie is the real one.
The one in the blue tie is not.

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and
the ending, saith the Lord, which is

and which was, and which is to come, the
Almighty.

I will show unto thee the judgment of
the great whore that sitteth upon many

waters, with whom the kings of the earth
have committed fornication, and the

inhabitants of the earth have been made
drunk with the wine of her fornication.

So he carried me away in the spirit into
the wilderness.

Then I saw a woman sit upon a scarlet
-colored beast, full of names of

blasphemy, having seven heads and ten
horns.

And the woman was arrayed in purple and
scarlet color,

decked with gold and precious stones and
pearls, having a golden cup in her hand

full of abominations and filthiness of
her fornication.

And upon her forehead was a name
written, Mystery, Babylon the Great, the

of harlots and abominations of the
earth.

And I saw the woman drunken with the
blood of the saints and with the blood

the martyrs of Jesus.

Will you look into the mirror?

What will I see?

Even the wisest cannot tell.

For the mirror shows many things.

Things that were.

Things that are.

And some things...

that have not yet come to pass.

And when I saw her, I wondered with
great admiration.

And the angel said unto me, Wherefore
didst thou marvel?

I will tell thee the mystery of the
woman and of the beast that carrieth

which hath the seven heads and ten
horns.

The beast that thou sawest was and is
not, and shall ascend out of the

bottomless pit and go into perdition.

And they that dwell on the earth shall
wonder whose names were not written in

the book of life and the foundation of
the world, when they behold the beast

that was, and is not, and yet is.

And there are seven kings, five are
fallen, and one is, and the other is not

come, and when he cometh he must
continue a short space.

And the beast that was, and is not, even
he is the eighth.

and is of the seven, and goeth into
perdition.

Napoleon, Alexander the Great, Donald
Trump, we're all cut from the same

And there are seven kings.

Five are fallen, and one is, and the
other is not yet come.

And when he cometh, he must continue a
short space.

And the beast that was, and is not, even
he is the eighth, and is of the seven,

and goeth into perdition.

For one of his heads, as it were,
wounded to death, and his deadly wound

healed.

And all the world wondered after the
beast.

And they worshipped the dragon which
gave power unto the beast.

And they worshipped the beast, saying,
Who is like unto the beast, who is able

to make war with him?

And there was given unto him a mouth
speaking great things and blasphemies.

And power was given unto him to continue
forty and two months.

I

know

what it is you saw.

For it is also in my mind.

You know, the Bible is really clear on
salvation.

It's not based on how good you are.

A lot of people think they're pretty
good, you know, and yeah, they're going

get to heaven because they're pretty
good. But the Bible says for all have

sinned and come short of the glory of
God.

The Bible says that is written. There is
none righteous. No, not one.

I'm not righteous. You're not righteous.

And if it were our goodness that would
get us into heaven, none of us would be

going.

Because the Bible even says in
Revelation 21 .8, it says, but the

unbelieving and the abominable and
murderers and sorcerers and whoremongers

idolaters, and listen to this, and all
liars shall have their part in the lake

which burneth with fire and brimstone,
which is the second death.

I've lied before.

Everybody's lied before. So we've all
sinned, and we've done stuff worse than

lying, let's face it. We all deserve
hell.

But the Bible says, but God commanded
his love toward us in that while we were

yet sinners, Christ died for us.

And so Jesus Christ, because he loves
us, came to this earth. The Bible says

was God manifest in the flesh.

God basically took on human form. He
lived a sinless life.

He did not commit any sin.

And of course, they beat him and spit on
him and nailed him to the cross. The

Bible says that when he was on that
cross, he himself bear our sin.

Sins in his own body on the tree.

So every sin you've ever done, every sin
I've ever done, it was as if Jesus had

done it. He was being punished for our
sins.

And then, of course, they took his body
when he died. They took his body and

buried it in the tomb.

And his soul went down to hell for three
days and three nights, Acts 2 .31.

Three days later, he rose again from the
dead.

He showed unto the disciples the holes
in his hands.

And the Bible is really clear that Jesus
did die for everybody.

It says that he died not for our sins
only, but also for the sins of the whole

world.

But there's something that we must do to
be saved. The Bible says, it has that

question in Acts 16, what must I do to
be saved?

And they said, believe on the Lord Jesus
Christ and thou shalt be saved in thy

house. And that's it. He didn't say join
a church and you'll be saved, get

baptized and you'll be saved, live a
good life and you'll be saved, repent of

all your sins and you'll be saved. No,
he said believe.

And even the most famous verse in the
whole Bible that's written on the

I mean, the reference is written on the
bottom of the cup at In -N -Out Burger.

I mean, it's so famous, everybody's
heard of it, John 3, 16.

For God so loved the world that he gave
his only begotten son that whosoever

believeth in him should not perish but
have everlasting life.

And everlasting means everlasting, means
forever.

And Jesus said, I give unto them eternal
life and they shall never perish.

Neither shall any man pluck them out of
my hand. The Bible says in John 6, 47,

Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that
believeth on me hath everlasting life.

So if you believe on Jesus Christ, the
Bible says you have everlasting life.

You're going to live forever. You can't
lose your salvation.

It's eternal. It's everlasting.

Once you're saved, once you believe on
him, you're saved forever.

And no matter what, you can never lose
your salvation.

Even if I were to go out and commit some
awful sin, God will punish me for it on

this earth.

If I went out and killed somebody today,
you know, God's going to make sure I

get punished. I'm going to prison or far
worse or the death penalty.

Whatever this earth punishes me and
God's going to make sure I get punished

more.

But I'm not going to hell. There's
nothing I can do to go to hell because

saved. And if I went to hell, God lied
because he promised that whoever

in him has everlasting life.

And he said, whosoever liveth and
believeth in me shall never die.

That's why there are a lot of examples
of people in the Bible who did some

really bad stuff.

Yet they made it to heaven. How?

Because they were so good? No, it's
because they believed on the Lord Jesus

Christ. Their sins are forgiven.

Other people who may have lived a better
life in the world's eyes, or maybe even

really they lived a better life, they
don't believe in Christ. They're going

have to go to hell to be punished for
their sins.

And let me just close on this one
thought. One thing that I wanted to be

and bring up today is that There was a
question that was asked to Jesus by one

of his disciples.

And that question was this, are there
few that be saved?

That's a good question, right?

I mean, are most people saved?

Or is it few that are saved?

Now, who here thinks that most people
are going to heaven?

Most people in this world are going to
heaven. Yeah, guess what the answer was.

He said, in Matthew 7, for example, he
said, enter ye in at the straight gate.

He said, because wide is the gate, and
broad is the way that leadeth to

destruction, and many there be which go
in thereat. Because straight is the

gate, and narrow is the way which
leadeth unto life, and few there be that

it.

And then he went on to say this.

He said, not everyone that sayeth unto
me, Lord, Lord, shall enter the kingdom

of heaven.

but he that doeth the will of my Father
which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord,
Lord, have we not prophesied in thy

And in thy name have cast out devils.
And in thy name done many wonderful

And then will I profess unto them, I
never knew you.

Depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

And so you see, there are people out
there.

First of all, the majority of this world
doesn't even claim to believe in Jesus.

Thankfully, the majority of the
classroom claims to believe in Jesus.

majority of the world does not claim to
believe in Jesus. But God warns that

even amongst those who claim to believe
in Jesus, even amongst those that call

him Lord, many will be saying to him, we
did all these wonderful works, why

aren't we saved?

He's going to say, depart from me, I
never knew you. That's because salvation

not by works.

And if you're trusting your own works to
save you, if you think you're going to

heaven because you've been baptized, or
if you think you, well, I think you have

to live a good life. I think you have to
keep the commandments to be saved. I

think you have to go to church. I think
you got to, you know, turn from your

sins. You know, if you're trusting in
your works.

Jesus is going to say to you one day,
depart from me, I never knew you. You

to have all your faith in what he did.

You have to put your faith in what Jesus
did on the cross.

When he died for you, he's buried and
rose again.

That's your ticket into heaven. If
you're trusting all the faith, oh, I'm

to heaven because I'm such a good
Christian and I do all these wonderful

He's going to say, depart from me. And
notice what he said.

Depart from me, I never knew you. Not I
used to know you.

Because once he knows you, remember I
mentioned this earlier, it's

it's eternal.

Once he knows you, you're saved forever.

But he's going to say, depart from me. I
never knew you.

Because if you go to hell, it's because
he never knew you.

Because once he knows you, he knows you.

It's just like my children will always
be my children.

When you're born again, when you're his
child, you'll always be his child. You

may be the black sheep of the family.

You may be somebody who gets disciplined
by God heavily on this earth.

You can screw up your life down here,
but you can't screw that up. You're

It's a done deal.

And so that's the main thing that I
wanted to present to you about the end

times. And we do have just a few minutes
for questions about either salvation or

about the end times.

You stood upon a tower made of dust,
called yourself righteous,

called yourself just.

You laughed at mercy, mocked the open
door, said you needed nothing,

wanted nothing more.

You heard the whispers in the dead of
night.

A little harder, a little colder, a
little farther

from the truth.

You're stupid.

You said a name a thousand times and
then you turned holy things into a

punchline game.

Oh my God, escaped your lips each day,
but never once believed what you would

say. Cursed the one who carried all your
shame, rejected every scar, rejected

every nail. You did not want the debt to
be erased.

Now you must stand before the debt you
made.

You never knew his name Spoke it every
day, cursed it every

day

I wanted you to forgive it.

But you would not.