All language subtitles for Youre Killing Me s01e06 The Road Trip.eng

- I

- Tell us everything.

Murder
because of a broken love affair?

- Something's not right.

- Do the police have
any suspects?

- Me.
- Did you kill him?

If there really is
another victim out there...

- Aah!
- We need to move faster.

- Hello!

- The killer is obviously on to
you.

- We're consulting
with the state pathologist.

- I'm picturing a little man
who smells of formaldehyde.

- Thank you for agreeing
to meet me.

?

- My mother

where they found your mom's
- The donfingerprints.ntpelli-The donut s

[Car horn honking]
- You just saved our lives.everybody al

- You were never crazye
with whatever her name is.you don't ha

and they're making
me keep you on. making

[Glen] Okay,
so what are we going for?

[Stu] What we're going for
is a seagull's POV.

We're gonna soar
through the woods,

down to the cove.

Once we get to the cove,

we're sweeping
right over the marina.

- Stu.
- Yeah?

We're making
a five-minute video

for the Chamber of Commerce.

We're not making a Marvel movie.

You still gotta hook
the viewers, though, dude.

- Right?
- Yeah, sure. Yeah.

Okay.

Let's go.

[drone roaring]

And we're off.

[***]

Okay, cool.

[Glen] Looking good.

[Stu] I need to get lower.

[Glen] Watch where
you're going, man!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Look out for that tree!

[drone crashing]

[Stu] Aw, crap!

- Oh!
- Oh.

- [Glen] Aw!
- [Stu] Are you kidding me? Shit.

Great, now what do we tell
the Chamber of Commerce?

Glen, call 9-1-1.

The fire department

isn't gonna rescue
your stupid drone.

No, no, no, look. Look.

[Glen] That looks like
a dead body.

[***]

[door opening]

Hey.

Hi.

Flat white?

How did you know?

Well, it's a writer's job
to be observant.

For instance,
I noticed, this time,

you're sitting at the table,

not lying on top of it.

Well, I was not
having a great day.

Well, that's good.

But what I was trying to say,

and what I...

really do hope you understand...

...is that I...

I do...

want to go to a movie,

or dinner,

or a museum sometime...

...with you,

not by myself.

I was assuming
we'd go together.

So I want you to know
that the next time you-

well, if you ask me
to do something,

I will say yes.

Well, I figured
I was on solid ground.

You invited me to coffee.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah, but this isn't a date.
You know that, right?

- It's a...
- A collegial cup of coffee.

Yeah. Not too hot,
not too sweet.

Look who's
the writer now.

Well, thank you.

How's, uh, how's Andi coming
with the donut shop footage?

She hasn't slept
since you gave her the file.

If I hadn't seen my mother
in 15 years,

I'm sure I'd be acting
the same way.

I just hope that she understands

that finding someone

who's been missing
for that amount of time...

it's a long shot.

Well, most things
that really matter are.

[phone rings]

Oh, that's me.

It's Dispatch.
Gotta go.

So, uh...

...let's do this again sometime.

- I would like that.
- Me, too.

[exhales]

Ugh, what the hell
is that smell?

Formaldehyde?

No, it's pixie passion fruit.

Well, hand it over, Cheech.

No vaporizing under my roof.

First, it's called "vaping",

second, it's flavor-only,

and third, technically,
I am not under your roof,

I am outside.

Why would you do that
to yourself?

It calms me down-

and where have you been?

I've been calling you
all morning.

I haven't gotten any calls.

Phone, please.

Okay, first problem,

your ringer is off,

and second,
your flashlight is on.

Okay, look,

what's important...

is that I have contacts,

and if we start packing,

we can get you
to the Betty Ford Center-

Allie!

I found my mom.

Oh!

[Ren�e] Thank you.

[Allie] Oh, my God,
you look so much like her.

[Ren�e] Amazing.

She even ordered
my favorite donut-

baked apple cider glazed.

And she just placed

the world's second-longest
coffee order.

You still hold the record.

Okay, now look at this.

That's an employee key card

with an address
in Lathrop, Vermont.

[Allie] At Farcourt Insurance.

"Valerie Smith"
must be her alias.

Look,

I know we've been
busting our asses

to try and get this book done,

and we have a deadline,

but I promise
I'll send you pages

as soon I get to a motel
or get Wi-Fi or something-

Oh, oh, oh, no, no.
Uh-uh, nope.

No way is that happening.

Allie...

I have to do this.

I know you do.

That's why
I am going with you.

I can't ask you
to do that.

Well, I can't have you
driving God knows where

in that tin can
clown car of yours.

Ren�e would
never forgive me.

You're worried about me.

No, I'm not
worried about you.

I just need you
back in one piece.

We've gotta get
our damn book done.

But to be clear,

no vaporing on the road.

Why do I even try?

I need about 30 minutes
to get ready,

and you've gotta pack
some decent clothes, okay?

You can't see your mom

after not seeing her in 15 years

looking like a hobo.

Are you done?

Let's Thelma and Louise
the shit out of this thing.

? Hey, hey!

? Ooh-ooh-ooh!

? Hey, come on and dance

? Tell me where we're going

? Hey, come on and jump

? Let's go get some fun, yeah

? Hey, come on and dance

- [door chime rings]
- Greetings, ladies.

How may I address
your insurance needs today?

We're looking
for a Valerie Smith.

Valerie...
sure, she's terrific,

but she hasn't worked here
for two years.

She used to be my bookkeeper.
Sharp as a tack, that one.

You know,
you look a little like her.

She's my mom.

[gasps]

I haven't seen her
in 15 years, though.

I am so sorry.

That's gotta be rough.

Did you know

that we sell insurance policies

that cover psychological
and emotional counseling?

They're very reasonably priced.

Did her mother leave
a forwarding address?

If I remember correctly,

I mailed her last paycheck
to somewhere in New York.

Let me see.

Uh...

Oh, here you go.

This is just a P.O. box

with a street address
in Rochester.

That's all she gave me,

but they should have the address
of the person who rents the box.

- Thanks so much.
- Thank you.

You know, Rochester is
another eight hours from here.

Well, then, we'd better
get a move on, Thelma.

I thought I was Louise.

Which one is Geena Davis?

Because I'm the tall one.

I noticed that you're driving
a beautiful new car out there.

You might want to consider
a roadside assistance policy.

[sirens wailing]

[sirens wailing]

[man] Okay, I've got it.

[exhales]

Spielberg and Lucas over there

found the body
when they crashed their drone.

Oh.

What do we got?

Whitley Cable.

[Noah] That's the same uniform

the Founders Cove Bank
robbers wore

when they tunneled
into the vault two weeks ago.

Exactly right.

Based on level of the decomp,

I'd say that's about
how long he's been dead,

but the plastic
kept him preserved.

Any idea what killed him?

Looks like he was strangled
from behind with a wire garrote.

Whoa.

I'll know for sure
after my autopsy.

Who carries around
a garrote?

Someone who knows
how to kill.

- Do we have an ID on the victim?
- No, not yet.

I want to wait to unwrap him
at the morgue

so we don't lose any evidence.

Give me an hour?

Absolutely.

Keep me posted.

- Will do.
- Thank you.

What do you think?

I think maybe he pissed off
one of his buddies,

and they dumped him here
on the way out of town.

We're north of town.

They were headed south.

So someone else
was involved?

Gotta be.

Is this
really necessary, Jack?

Look, I'm not Jason Bourne,
for God's sake.

I'm a middle-aged man
with sciatica.

It's standard policy for anyone
that's murdered two people...

...and now, maybe a third.

I didn't kill anyone.

That's funny,

because I seem to recall

you organizing
a bank robbery scheme

in which you told your crew

to kill anyone
who got in the way.

Those guys did that,
not me.

Okay.

And I seem to recall
making a deal with the DA

for a shorter sentence

if I testify against those men.

You and the DA

should get together
a little more often,

share notes, maybe talk.

Guess what, friend?
We have,

which is how I know...

your deal is off the table.

[scoffs]

Right.

You're kidding.

Why?

This is Joel Decker.

Joel Decker
was part of your crew,

and we found
his two-week-old corpse

in the woods north of town.

Okay, so?

So that's a fact

you neglected to mention
to the DA, didn't you?

And your deal is off the table

until you tell me
who killed Decker and why.

I don't know
who killed that guy.

How am I supposed to know?

Okay.

Okay, Jack, wait.

Decker's job was to watch
the area near the bank

to see if anyone

noticed anything
they weren't supposed to,

and if they did,

he'd handle it.

"Handle it."

He'd kill anyone before
they could talk to anyone.

All I know is that
Decker disappeared.

We figured he lost his nerve
and he took off.

Anyone have any reason
to kill Decker?

I don't know.

What I do know is

that I'm not gonna be shedding
any tears for that guy.

If he'd been doing
what he was supposed to,

I wouldn't be in here right now.

And yet...

you are.

[Cyrus] Yeah, they were here.

You just missed them.

They were looking
for Valerie Smith,

but she left
a couple years back.

Valerie hasn't done
anything wrong?

Maybe I should call
the police?

[gun cocks, bullet fires]

[coughing]

I guess you should have taken
that roadside assistance policy.

Ah, well, this is
a brand-new SUV.

It's not supposed
to break down.

Evening, ladies.
What can I do you for?

We need to fix that.

Uh-huh.

We're in a hurry,
on our way to Rochester.

We've got, like,
a hundred miles left to go.

You're lucky
you've made it here.

Do you need to do something?
Like, uh, lift the hood,

or check the dipstick,

or open the radiator,

or something?

- We just closed.
- What?

Leave me the keys,
and I'll get to it at sun-up.

You can't do it now?

Sorry. The missus
is expecting me home for supper.

By the way, is this
one of them new sport models?

Yeah, why?

Didn't you get
the recall notice?

No.

Uh, no, I did not.

Hmm.

You totally got that notice,
didn't you?

What? I can't open
all my emails.

[bell rings]

[bell rings again]

[bell rings repeatedly]

Good evening, ladies.
What can I do you for?

I thought
you were going home.

This is home.

Would you like
one room or two?

Two, please.

We only have one,

but it comes
with the deluxe package.

What's the deluxe package?

A bar of soap?

A scented bar of soap-

and...

a 25% off coupon
for the Rusty Bucket Rodeo.

That's our local
bar and grill.

[hooting and hollering
coming from bar]

Oh...

Are there
any other eateries nearby?

Oh.

We'll take the room.

And the coupon.

Okay.

There we go.

Number eight.

Have fun.

- Thank you.
- [Andi groans]

[country music coming from bar]

? I love all the bad luck

? Love all the heartache

? That bittersweet stuff
really says it my way ?

? I'd rather hear a song
about a pick-up truck ?

? Than the bass line booming
on that EDM stuff ?

? Life is a jukebox

? Just press play

? Let it hit you
in a Southern way ?

? From the Georgia backroads

? To Texas plains...

Is it tomorrow yet?

Not for another
three hours.

Anything else
I can get for you?

Oh, yes, let me see.

Okay.

Okay...

Where the hell
did you get those?

Laugh all you want, okay?

These are very handy.

Okay, I will have

another one of these

American mule things
on the rocks,

with extra mint leaves,

a whiskey chaser,
a glass of water,

with a separate cup
of crushed ice,

a side order of
the breaded mozzarella sticks

without the breading,

and the crab bisque,

but not too crabby.

Nachos and another beer, please.

That's all you got?

I learn from the best.

So do I.

Hey there, High Beams.

You up for a challenge?

Oh, ha. Yeah, uh, no.

Thank you very much,
but we are-

we're just fine.

My buddies are all
placing bets

on how long you two city gals
would last on the bull.

Now, I think you should go
prove 'em wrong,

and, uh, if you're worried,

we can always switch it
to the "ladies level".

That was sexist-

in so many different ways.

I'm just saying,

you go the distance,

you get a hundred bucks.

[Allie] I'll tell you what.

You throw in
that cowboy hat of yours,

and you got yourself a deal.

- Are you insane?
- Done.

No, she's joking.

You're joking.
You're joking, right?

Nope.

Four years

of high school equestrian
steeple-chase championships-

oh, ho-

gives you thighs of steel.

That was last century.

Yeah, the best century.

Thank you.

Oh, my God.

[grunts]

Let's see what you got,
High Beams.

Ah...

Okay, hang on.

Hang on!

? ...Gentle touch to my arm

? And when you say hello

? Well, then I'm ready to go

? One little kiss
can't do no harm... ?

You-you really don't have to
go through with this.

You know that, right?

She's not listening to me.

Whoo!

? ...That when you look at me

? Oh, babe
I come to see ?

? You're what
my mama warned me all about... ?

Giddy-up!

[hooting]

? I can't resist you anymore

? No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh, shit.

? I can't resist you anymore

? And like a thousand bolts
of white lightning ?

? That goes shuddering
through my soul ?

? Just can't resist you
anymore ?

[horn sounding]

[man] You got it!

[horn sounding]

? Like Eve
in the Garden of Eden ?

? That shiny apple
that looks so good ?

? When I look in your eyes

? I see the devil inside

? Trying to get me
like I knew you would ?

[cheering]

? You are temptation
to my resistance ?

? I gotta get down
on my knees and pray ?

? But with your savoir-faire

- ? Oh, babe, I do declare...
- [Allie] I believe this is mine.

? ...Tomorrow
is another day ?

[cheering]

? And I can't resist you anymore
?

Looks good on you!

? ...No, no, no
no, no, no, no... ?

? I can't resist you anymore

[cheering]

[country song playing]

Oh, I posted that whole thing on
TikTok,

and you've got 500 likes
in less than 10 minutes.

[laughs]

I need another...

shot.

How about a dance,
High Beams?

Oh, no.
You're kryptonite.

What the hell's
she talking about?

Well, you're just, uh,
you're bad news, pretty boy.

You, uh,

you short-circuit my brain,

okay?

So, take all of that

and go. Shoo.

Shoo, shoo, shoo.

Besides, she's old enough
to be your mother.

Hey!

Your stepmother, maybe.

Uh-huh.

Speaking of moms,

I realized we've never
really talked about yours.

Not much to say.

There's always
something to say.

I didn't know
my mom that well.

She wasn't around much?

Mm, she was there,

but she wasn't there.

It's a tricky thing
with mothers and daughters...

...but look who I'm talking to.

Yup.

I don't even want to say this,

because I know it sounds crazy,

but I am scared shitless
about seeing my mom again.

That doesn't sound
like you at all.

I know.

Ever since she disappeared,

all I've wanted to do
is find her,

and now that there's

a possibility of actually
seeing her again,

I don't know
if I want to go through it...

because what am I supposed
to say to her?

"Thanks, Mom,

for ghosting me

during the most important
time of my life"?

I mean, shit, who does that
to their kid?

You don't know
her side of the story.

Maybe I don't want to.

You're just gonna chicken out?

No.

I'm not chickening out.

Mm.

I know
what I need to know.

She left, end of story.

Okay, no, no.
Mm-mm.

I don't buy it. No.

The Andi Walker that I know

never gives up
until she finds the truth.

That was
the right thing to say.

Thanks.

I think I'm gonna puke.

I should have known.

What, you can't just give
a real compliment?

Huh? Would it-

would it kill you

to be sincere
just once in your life?

No, no, no, I really-

I really feel like
I'm gonna puke.

These nachos
are really bad.

All right,
let's get you some fresh air.

Okay.

- [Andi gagging]
- Oh, boy . Hold on.

Hey, Brad Pitt.

This belongs to you.

Okay, deep breaths.

Deep, deep breaths, all right?

And if you're gonna hurl,

hurl over there,

on that side,
so it doesn't get on my shoes.

No, it's okay.
I think I'm fine.

- [phone rings]
- Oh, it's Jack.

Should I answer it?

What are you,
13 all of a sudden?

Yeah, answer the phone!

Hey, Jack.

[Jack] Hey, Allie.

Look, I thought I ought to call
to congratulate you.

Congratulate me on what?

On being a TikTok star.

Noah just texted.

Apparently, you have over...

5,000 likes.

Oh, that...

Um, yeah,
that was Andi's idea.

I didn't know you two
were taking a road trip.

Oh, we got a lead
on Andi's mom,

so we left this morning.

I was actually going
to invite you

to a new exhibit at the museum
tomorrow night,

the one on
the history of clamming,

because that would be
a barn-burner.

Yes! Yes!

Oh, uh, I'd-I'd love to...

...but I'm not sure
that we'll be back in time.

Yeah, of course.
No, we'll do it another time.

All right, well,
you guys take care.

We will.

Good luck.

And good luck as well...

to you.

Okay, bye.

"Good luck as well to you"?
What the hell was that?

It's polite talk,

something you don't understand.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit!

Doesn't sound like
polite talk.

[man] Come on,
move it, move it!

No! They've got
my designer luggage!

[man] Get in! Quick! Quick!

[Allie] No!

No!

Wait! Hey, hey!

Stop! Oh!

Oh... Oh!

At least it looks like

they didn't take
any of my stuff!

Oh, big surprise.

Those are
the only clothes I have,

and God, these shoes
are completely destroyed.

Oh, stop your whining.

There's a thrift store
across from the gas station,

and I've got
a really cute t-shirt

you can sleep in for tonight.

[Allie]
Please tell me you washed it.

[Andi] I washed it.

[Allie] No, you are a liar.

[***]

? Now, hey, girl

? Head over here

[***]

? There's something
I got to say ?

[***]

? It seems to me
you're the one ?

[***]

? Ah-
it has most every day... ?

[***]

Is my car ready?

Had to order a part.

Might be here today,
might be here tomorrow.

We can hitchhike.

Uh-huh.

Uh, where is your selection
of rental vehicles?

Um...

I can loan you Betsy.

Hah.

You'll need a hammer

to bang on the gas tank
when she stalls out.

Won't the tank explode?

[grunts dismissively]
That only happened once.

Oh, excuse me.

Got a customer.

Pump number two.

[Allie] Melissa?

Allison Chandler!

I almost didn't recognize you
in that fun outfit.

What are you two doing
all the way out here?

Are you researching
your book?

Actually, we're headed
to Rochester,

but our car broke down,

and now we're stranded.

What are you
doing out here?

Oh, I'm on my way
to Niagara Falls

to count the yellow-rumped
warbler migration.

Rochester's
on the way to Niagara.

You wouldn't mind dropping
us off, would you?

We'll totally
pay you for gas.

What she means is
I'll pay for the gas.

Sure. I'd appreciate
the company.

[Andi] Okay.

So I will be back
for that SUV,

and it better be
in mint condition,

or I'll own
this entire town.

I'll trade you for it now.

A cool grand in cash,

and I'll even throw in
the missus.

Meh.

These are the personal effects
we recovered from Decker.

Thank you.

Well, the phone's
gonna be locked.

Watch and learn.

- Nice.
- Thank you.

Photos.

Well, Martin wasn't lying.

Decker was on the lookout

for anyone
that got too interested

in what was happening

and had to be removed.

Yeah, but he didn't remove
Allie and Andi.

Unless someone
killed him first.

Look at that.

Melissa Grant's truck.

Who's that?

The Park Ranger

who saved Andi and Allie
from getting shot by Dave Haney.

Looks like she was

in the right place
at the right time again.

Yeah.

Maybe she saw something
that can help us.

Good point.

Yeah. I think she's staying
at the Summer Beach Hotel.

I've seen her truck
parked out front.

- Shall we?
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Ah, yes, Melissa Grant,

room nine.

Looks like she checked out
yesterday morning.

- Thanks.
- Thanks.

Who are you calling?

My buddy Ken
from the Parks Department.

Hey, Ken, it's Jack.

Yeah, good.

Um, look, I could use your help

tracking down one of
your park rangers

assigned to Founders Cove,

a Melissa Grant.

Do you have a number for me?

Thanks.

Yeah, Melissa Grant.

She was tagging
mountain lion cubs or-

Really?

No, go do your thing.

Thanks. Thanks, Ken.

That's interesting.

What's that?

There are no mountain lions
in Founders Cove.

There are no park rangers
named Melissa Grant.

She's a ghost,

one who she left town

the same time
Andi and Allie did.

Maybe that's a coincidence.

Too many coincidences
with her.

Get a fingerprint team
down here ASAP.

I want to find out
who she really is.

Yeah.

[Jack] Now, let's wait and see

if there's anything
we can work with here

before we make any calls.

- For now.
- Yeah.

What have we got?

Anything?

The last occupant

did a thorough wipe-down
of every surface

with industrial cleansers,

even cleared the drain traps.

Not a spec of DNA in the place.

We're screwed.

Or...

maybe not.

Even pros make mistakes.

Come with me.

[door opening]

Excuse me.
Question for you.

When that park ranger,
Melissa Grant,

when she checked out,

was she wearing gloves?

No, I-I don't think so.

Dust the key
for room nine.

- [phone ringing]
- Oh.

Hey!

Are we on speakerphone?

No, it's just me.

I'm with Andi and Melissa.

Remember her?

Mel- Melissa Grant?

Melissa Grant
is with you now?

Yeah.

She's- She's, uh,
driving us to Rochester.

It's a long story.

My new car broke down,

and she's headed to Niagara.

She's, uh, counting birds
with earwax,

or something like that.

Okay, well,
now it all makes sense.

Hey, is that Jack?

Yeah, it's Jack.

Listen to me carefully.

This next part is important.

I'm going to speak.

While I speak,

I need you to remain calm
and just keep smiling.

Just keep smiling.

Can you do that?

Of course I can. Why?

Melissa is not
who she says she is.

We lifted her prints
off a motel room key.

They match prints
from over a dozen homicides.

Melissa...

is a professional killer.

[chuckles tensely]

You've gotta be kidding me.

[Jack] I wish I were.

Wait, is he asking you out?

This whole thing is tied up with
Andi somehow.

Melissa didn't show up here
till after Andi did.

Now that you and Andi have left
to go find Andi's mom,

Melissa left, too.

Probably has a tracker
on your car.

Don't be coy, Jack.

What are you trying to say?

[Jack] Look, I don't know,

but I think Melissa's
next target

is Andi's mom, Ren�e.

It would explain

why she saved your lives
at Granite Creek,

why she shows up now
to give you a ride.

I think Melissa
is keeping Andi safe

so that Andi will lead her
to her mom, Ren�e.

So you're inviting me
to the Policeman's Ball?

- What?
- [Andi] What?

The Policeman's Ball?
Is that still a thing?

Yes, it's a thing. Shh.

[laughs]

What were you saying
about the ball?

Allie, I'm moving
as fast as I can.

We have your cell phones,
we're tracking them,

so we roughly know
where you are.

Highway patrol
has been notified.

[Allie] That's very exciting.

Look, keep smiling.

Try to remain calm
best you can.

Do not do anything
to tip off Melissa.

I'm getting in
a chopper right now.

Can't wait!

Where are they having
the Policeman's Ball?

Oh, it's at the-
the squad room.

[Allie laughs]

They clear out all the desks
and hire a band, and-

Ahh!

Why the hell
did you just do that?

[Melissa] Because Jack just
told your friend

that I'm going to kill
your mother.

- Oh...
- What?

[shrieks]

[screaming,
tires screeching]

[crashing, airbags hissing]

Get out!

Run, run!

What the hell's going on?

Melissa is a trained killer
and she's after your mom.

What? Why?

I don't know, I don't know,

but Jack is on his way,

and he's been tracking
our phone.

We just have to stay alive
until he finds us.

[tense theme playing]

[***]

- Come on, let's go!
- I'm coming, I'm coming!

[***]

Could you just go
any faster, please?

Please stop telling me
what to do.

[gasping]

Um... Um...

- Okay, uh, this way.
- Okay.

[gun cocks]

She's dead unless you drop
your phone on the ground...

right now.

Now.

[phone thuds to ground]

Let's go.

Move it.

[phone ringing]

Hey, Jack.
Any news?

[Jack] Noah, we lost tracking
on both phones.

Tell Dispatch to go public

with an emergency bulletin ASAP.

I need Melissa Grant's face
on every media outlet

and a BOLO
on that truck, copy?

Yeah, you got it.

[brakes screeching]

Just to be clear,

all we have
is Ren�e's P.O. box number.

Get her address.

How?

I know you two can do it.

I've been watching you
for months.

I hope
you've been entertained.

I actually was.

Oh, my God,
the wedding...

What are you
talking about?

[Andi] In the woods,

behind the house
at your wedding,

there were footprints
that were too big to be Dana's.

Yeah, that was me.

I also saved your lives
the day of the bank robbery,

but you don't even
know about that.

You two got a lot going on-

solving murders,

writing books,

not to mention your love lives.

Let's go.

I was really rooting for you

to get together
with that detective,

but I got a job to do,

and I take it very seriously.

Hey. Yeah, so I got room
on the back for one more

if you chicks
are tired of walking.

Move along, tough guy.

Okay.

Help you?

Hi, um, my mother
is in the hospital,

and, uh, she asked us
to get her mail.

This is her box number.

[Tristan] P.O. boxes
are around the corner.

Help yourselves.

The thing is, uh,
I don't have a key.

Well, then, you'll need
written authorization.

[Allie] You know what?

It's really sad,
but our mother is incapacitated.

You two are sisters?

Mm-hmm.

Her mother is my sister,

my older sister,

so I call her "Mother Sister",

"Mother" for short,

still a sister.

Yeah, so the thing is,

we're in a bit of a jam here,
uh, Tristan, is it?

That's some really cool ink.

Yeah? Thanks.

Do you play D&D?

Totally.
I'm a D.M.

We should totally
play sometime.

- Yeah.
- Yeah, totally.

Is that a sex thing?

Are you sure that I'm not listed
on my mom's account?

Uh, what's your name?

Uh, Andi-

Andrea Walker.

[Tristan] Sorry,

I don't see anyone else listed.

Let me check with my manager.

[Andi] Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

[news reporter] ...who is
considered armed and dangerous.

[Allie]
Is Ren�e's address there?

Yeah.
3567 Division Street.

- Okay.
- Come on.

[new reporter] ...The suspect
is believed to be using...

[woman] Oh, my God, it's her!

[news reporter] Anyone
who catches this individual...

[gunshot, screams]

[Andi] Call 9-1-1!

Tell them that
the fugitive from the TV

is headed
to 3567 Division Street

to kill the lady
that lives there!

- No!
- Damn it!

Looks like
your friend ditched you.

- Oh!
- Oh!

- Get that helmet!
- Okay.

[Andi] I hope you know how
to ride one of these things.

Why in the hell do you think

I know how to ride
a motorcycle?

[Andi] You're the one who rode
the mechanical bull!

[Allie]
Like it's the same thing?

I never learned
how to ride a bike, okay?

Okay, fine.

I'll do it,

but no backseat driving.

- Deal.
- Okay.

[Allie]
I don't know what I'm doing!

I'm calling the cops!

[Allie] Go ahead!

[***]

[***]

[TV playing, indistinct]

[***]

[TV playing, indistinct]

[TV playing, indistinct]

[TV playing, indistinct]

[motorcycle engine roars]

- [gunshots firing]
- No!

Help!

[TV playing, indistinct]

[TV playing, indistinct]

[TV playing, indistinct]

Your mother's not here.

The house is empty.

[police officer]
Okay, we're clear!

Suspect down.

[police chatter, indistinct]

[police chatter, indistinct]

Good response.
Good response time.

- Yeah.
- All right.

Hey.

- Take it easy.
- Thanks.

Any idea why Melissa
wanted to kill my mom?

No idea.

Do you know
where my mom is?

The neighbors say your mom
took off about a month ago,

but...

she left this behind.

It's been dusted,

but I thought you might want
to take a look

before I put it into evidence.

Andi,

if you're watching this,

it means
that you've found me,

or they have.

I know that you probably
hate me for leaving you,

but I need you to know...

I had no choice...

and that it shattered me.

It was the only way

I could keep
you and your father safe.

I, uh, I can't go into details,

but I know things

about some dangerous people
that I worked for,

so I made a deal with them.

I would disappear,
and I wouldn't talk,

as long as my family was safe,

and they agreed,

only because
one of the guys loved me.

There was never
anything between us.

I told your father there was

so that he would let me go,

and maybe you would, too...

[crying]

...but now,

one of the worst people
who was in prison

is getting a retrial,

and I know too many things
that could keep him behind bars,

so I'm a liability,
and I have to run.

If I am still alive,

and you're looking for me,

I am begging you,

just stop, please.

It's not safe.

But know that
I have always loved you...

...and I always will.

[crying]

Ahem.

How are you feeling?

I just saw my mom
for the first time in 15 years,

even if it was on video.

I thought I'd get some closure,

but...

all I have
are more questions.

So what do you want to do?

[sighs]

Finish our damn book.

Let's do it.

[***]

? Let's get it together

[***]

? Let's go!

? Let's get down to business

? Get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it ?

? Let's get down to business

? Get it, get it, get it
Get it, get it, get it ?

? Here we go!

? Down to business!
Down, down! ?

? Down to business-
Down, down! ?

? Down to business!

? Let's get down to business

"...and justice rolled in
like the tide-

slow, salty, and unstoppable."

Salty?

It's poetic.

Make it "steady".

Good.

The end.

[laughs]

[exhales]

We actually did it!

We finished it.

Without killing each other.

Did I just hear you say
you finished?

[Allie] Oliver!

- Yup.
- Uh-huh.

Incredible.
You never miss a deadline,

not even
during your fourth divorce.

No, that was my third.

My fourth was annulled.

Whatever helps you sleep.

Yeah.

Kiss, please.

Thank you.

- [Andi] Hi.
- Hi.

Thank you.

What brings you to town?

I never miss one of my mom's

"I finished another book"
parties.

[Andi] Are we having a party?

Right after we hear
from the publisher.

Can I invite my dad?

Sure.

[***]

[guests chatting indistinctly]

Everyone, everyone,

if I may.

As Allison Chandler
and now Andi Walker's agent,

I'd just like to say

that with "Alibi Times Two",

they have produced

the best Selena St. Cloud novel
in years.

[woman] Hear, hear.

Cheers to that!

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

I'd just like to say
thank you.

It means the world to us
that you are all here,

so thank you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

And you, too, Norman.

Thanks for inviting me.

We actually didn't.
[clears throat]

Who is
this lovely gentleman?

Let me introduce you

to my dear friend,
Conrad Tiddle.

Enchant�.

Oh, nice.

A Selena St. Cloud character
that's also fictional?

He legally
changed his name.

It's a thrill.

- Oh.
- It's a thrill.

Congratulations.

[Jack] Whisky on the rocks.

Uh, make that two.

Ah.

- Hi, Kevin Walker.
- Hey.

Uh, Andi's dad.

Oh, right, yeah.
Jack Kerrigan.

Yeah, I've heard
all about you

through my daughter.

[Jack] Not a bad thing, necessarily.

[Kevin] No, no, not at all.
She's a fan.

How are you
enjoying the visit?

- Been great.
- Good.

Yeah, everyone's
been very welcoming.

[Jack] Yeah, good
to see her, I'm sure.

Oh, don't you hate it

when your two lovers
meet accidentally?

They are not
my two lovers.

Oh! Then can I have one?

I'll get you another.

[***]

Well, you know
I cannot give you the recipe.

- Right.
- Even with a badge.

- Of course not. Okay.
- [phone ringing]

- Excuse me one second.
- Sure.

Hey.

So now that you're a success,

why not take off a few days,

come to New York?

There are a lot
of interesting people there,

like me, for instance.

People like you
are very interesting.

...she needs to do.

Sorry.

See you.

Thanks for everything
that you've done for Andi.

Oh, it worked both ways.

She's a really
special girl.

Yeah,

and the police detective
seems like a nice guy.

Yeah.

I think he likes you.

Oh, uh, maybe.

You like him?

- I do.
- Yeah.

Oh, I don't know.

Commitment kinda
scares me these days.

Yeah, I hear you.

I'm not sure if I'm ready
for anything serious, either,

but listen,

if you're ever in the market
for something simple,

no strings,

I'm here...

...occasionally.

Thank you.

Andi, a little-
little sidebar?

Mm-hmm?

Have I told you
how much I love the book?

Yes, but you can tell me again.

I can do better.

Branner Publishing
has decided they want a sequel.

That's fantastic.
Allie didn't tell me.

There's a reason for that.

See, what they want

is a standalone
Raven Stone novel,

just your character,

no Selena St. Cloud.

I don't know how Allie
will feel about that.

It doesn't really matter.

She just delivered
the last book in her contract,

and what a wonderful way
for Selena to go out.

You brought the book
to brand-new, wonderful heights.

They want your voice.

They want you.

Think about it.

You're going?

Yeah, yeah.

I, uh, I got a thing.

We didn't get a chance to talk.

I mean, there's really
a lot to explain,

but we never get a chance.

I have to go.

I just want to say that,
um, uh, I know

I've been sending you
mixed signals,

and sometimes no signal at all,

and, um, I just have a history,
you know, of-

Um...

Oh, my-my God.

That was a mistake.

No, no, it-it wasn't-
it wasn't a mistake.

- I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.

I do have to go.

Maybe we just pretend
this never happened.

Sure.

Okay...

Okay, goodnight.

What was that?

Me being me,

because I'm daft.

I don't know why.

I just couldn't
kiss him back.

Go after him!

I can't.

Why not?

Because it'll come
across desperate.

[sighs]

[exhales]
Thank you.

That was mine.

- Yeah, I know.
- Okay.

You know, we're gonna need

to start thinking
about our new book.

About that,

I don't think there's any rush.

We should take some time

and really recharge.

I was actually considering

taking a few days
and going to New York.

Oh.

You know,
I like the attitude.

Yeah.

Let's make Branner wait.

Nothing wrong with
playing a little hard-to-get.

Yeah?

All right,
good thinking, partner.

Yes.

[Allie] Okay!
Who wants more champagne?

[guests cheering]

[Andi sighs]

[Allie groans]

[***]

[Allie groans]

Can't sleep?

[Allie] Well, if you're here,
it must mean I dozed off.

Why'd you freeze up on him?

I don't know.

I got confused.

What's confusing?

You want him?

I do.

Well, then, take what's yours,
you whiny excuse of a woman.

Be bold!

Embrace adventure!

[groans]

Damn it...

I'm gonna do it.

Oh.

[groans]

[***]

[knocking on door]

[Allie clears her throat]

[Andi] What the hell?

I have to see Jack.

He's not here.

You know what I mean.
I need to find him right now,

and I need to tell him
that I have to be bold,

and I want to take what's mine.

You're drunk.

Of course I'm drunk.

That's why I have the nerve
to do this,

but you're gonna drive me.

I am not going
to drive you right now.

You can wait
until the morning.

No, I gotta do it now,

and I'm gonna call the Uber.

What is the number
for the Uber?

It's an app.

Well, then
I will call the app.

What is the number
for the app?

What's the app number?

[wine spilling]

[sighs]

Let me go put some pants on.

Okay, can we just
talk about this

before you do anything?

No, talk is cheap.

I'm a woman of action.

Okay, what's that movie?

I'm gonna need
more information.

Where, um, Judd Nelson

is holding a boom box
over his head.

"Say Anything,"

and that is John Cusack.

Okay, that's me.

I'm Judd Cusack.

You don't even have
a boom box.

Who cares?

Let's just think about this
for a second.

Are you really sure

that you want to go through
with this?

That was the most romantic
moment in movie history.

So good.

Here goes nothing.

[Receptionist, on voicemail]
This is Doctor Lyden's office,

calling to schedule
your colonoscopy.

Christ's sake, give me that!

We have an opening
on Thursday at 2:00 p.m.

or Friday at-

[Allie clearing throat]

Jack, are you in there?

It's me!

Jack, open the door!

[door opening]

You're not Jack.

I'm Natalie,

Jack's wife,

And you are?

[Allie vomiting]

[groans]

? I can't resist you anymore

? No, no, no, no, no, no

? I can't resist you anymore

[***]

? And like a thousand bolts
of white lightning ?

? That goes shuddering
through my soul ?

? Just can't resist you
anymore ?

[***]

? Mercy!

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