All language subtitles for Top Gear (2002) S21E04 Episode 4 (1080p AMZN WEBRip x265 SDR AAC 2.0 English - DarQ)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: Eߣ�B��B��B�B�B��matroskaB��B��S�gt�M�t�M��S��I�fS��M��S��T�kS���M��S��S�kS���M��S��T�gS��s��O�I�f�*ױ�B@M��libebml v1.4.5 + libmatroska v1.7.1WA�mkvmerge v84.0 ('Sleeper') 64-bitD��ALX/�Da� (g���s���8���G$F|��i�0T�k���ׁsň2����H��������S_TEXT/UTF8"���enU��U���DC�u��>������JEREMY: 'Tonight, I sit on a rock.�� 䠴��� -'James gets something in his eye.' -Oh!�� >C�u��U�����'And Richard says, "Mummy!"'�� ������ �Oh, Mummy!�� C�u��7�����(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)���������Thank you, hello!��@����� &Hello, good evening, thank you so much.�� �C�u�炖C�����Thank you, now...�������� HNow, tonight's show...��lC�u@�炫�סсTonight's show is interesting because we have all sort of reverted to type.���á��Later on, Hammond is in the desert driving like an idiot���C�u���������in a large and flamboyant off-roader.�� (�ġ�� II'm in northern Italy driving a rather elegant sports car���C�u��� �á��and James, well actually, we are kicking off with James,�� j����� jwho really is in his comfort zone�� �C�u���X�����because he is on a Second World War air base���������talking about a car from the 1950s.��1C�u��)D�ȡJAMES: 'This is The Stig taking a Caterham to the ragged edge�������1'on our track back in 2008.'�� �C�u��M۠ơ��That particular lap is something of an Internet sensation.��̠�����It's been viewed over 100 times�� C�u��h�����and one of the reasons it's so popular is because�� 堤��� that is the Caterham R500,�� �C�u��|��á��the most powerful and extreme car they have ever built.���C�u���7�����Or, rather, it was.�� ������'Because its crown has just been stolen by this.���C�u���������'The brand new Caterham 620R.�� ������ �'Where the old 500 had 263hp,���C�u���#�����'this has 310.�� ����� �And since it weighs just 545kg,�� �C�u���e�ȡit has a better power to weight ratio than a Bugatti Veyron.'��~������But I have driven a Bugatti Veyron�� �C�u�� �����and I have to say it was very civilised.�� ����� =Let's see how this compares.��������(ENGINE REVS)���C�u��' �����Oh!��)�����JBloody Nora! Oh!�� C�u��;|�����Argh!��@������Argh! Argh!��VC�u��P������(ENGINE DROWNS SPEECH)�� ?����� I can't see!���C�u��m[�����Oh! Ow!��5�����V(BLEEP)��Ơ����1Argh!��aC�u@���[�����God above, that's not...�� `����� �That's not like acceleration,��ܠ����~that's like being in a football and somebody kicks it.�� �C�u���������Ugh!��Šġ���'With a helmet and goggles deputising for the windscreen,�� =C�u���������'I tried once more to get to grips with the 620R.'�� C�u�����š��Obviously, you can tell from the way I'm screaming at you,��������the racket in here is tremendous.�� �C�u�������It's quite difficult to breathe.�� Ġȡ �'That's hardly surprising since 0-60 takes just 2.8 seconds.��#C�u��7��̡Ɓ'And it's not like you can get your breath back in the corners.'�� ������(TYRES SCREECH)��xC�u��[������Geez.�� �����*(HE COUGHS)��Ҡ���� &Right, this time, watch this.���C�u@�uϠ����(TYRES SCREECH)��a������Oh, not again. Sorry.�� J������There'll be a lot of editing to do on this piece.�� C�u�����Сʁ'Stick at it for several months and you can bring the 620R to heel.'���C�u���������Whey, hey-hey!�� ������FI've done a whole circuit!��*C�u���e�����'And when you get your eye in, it's not a bad car.'�� >����� >It's still a Caterham.��lC�u���s�����It's all very crisp. Very nice.�� 𠧡���Fantastic sequential gearbox.�� C�u���g�����'It's just that it's too much hard work.'�� ���The trouble is this is power piled on power.�� C�u��������It can barely contain itself.���������It's like a teenager left alone with the Internet.��<C�u��2������The wheels and the suspension can only just�� 䠧��� keep up with what's going on.���C�u��G������Whey-hey!��砭���It's not supposed to be like this.���������It's just a little sports car!�� jC�u@��b#�����'However, I think I have an answer to the problem.'�� ��ǡ��fYou see, I think if you're going to build a minimalist car,���C�u@���������you need to take a minimalist approach to performance�� 𠠡�� and handling, as well.��@�����rIt's no good just piling on more and more power,�� �C�u@���������that's like trying to improve a curry�������by putting more and more chillies in it.�������<What I'm trying to say is, well,�� �C�u���Ϡ����Caterham needs to find a better Indian restaurant.�� 2C�u@��λ�����'Fortunately it seems they're ahead of me on this one.��t������'Alongside their new, most powerful car ever,��C�u���u�����'they've also come up with this,��V�����V'their least powerful car ever.��������s'It's called the 160�� kC�u�� ̠����'and it has just 80hp����á���'from a tiny turbocharged three-cylinder Suzuki engine.'�� �C�u��/��¡��So the engine is much smaller but then so is the price.��1�����RThe 620R is £50,000.�� �C�u��J󠠡��This is just £17,000.��C�u��c+�����'Admittedly, 0-60 takes a gentle seven seconds��0�����Q'and the top speed is only 100.���C�u���_�����'But that's not the point.'�� j�����%Top speed, 0-60, they're just numbers.�� TC�u���������They are meaningless in themselves.�� �ơ��sWhat matters is whether or not they add up into a sensation��1C�u���������and this delivers a tremendous sensation.�� �C�u@���\�����(TYRES SCREECH)��U�����w(HE CHUCKLES)��@�ϡɁ�'The key to the 160's sense of fun is a set of super skinny tyres.'��PC�u@���������'They are only a tiny bit wider than a space saver.�������1So you only have to twitch your foot a little bit...��SC�u��)�����(TYRES SCREECH)���������...and you can slide around like Mika Hakkinen.�� �C�u��23�����Oh, lovely! Look at me.�� �����}Whoo!��UC�u@��M'�����When you have worn your tyres out,��4�����Uthey're only 40 quid each to replace.�� �ơ��}'Even The Stig, who normally turns his snout up at anything�� 'C�u��l젷���'with less than 500hp, had an absolute ball.���C�u���K�����'It has a windscreen.��ܠ�����'It'll do over 50 miles to the gallon.�� u������'As far as I'm concerned,���C�u���������'it's the best car Caterham has ever made.�� ������ �'In fact, there's only one thing wrong with it.'���C�u@���٠����The way it looks.����ˡŁ�Next to the latest stripped out sports cars like the Ariel Atom,�� à�����and the BAC Mono, it sits a bit like a typewriter�� �C�u���E�����in an Internet cafe.���������I wonder if they could do something about that?���C�u��#�����'As it happens, they're ahead of me on that one, too.�� �C�u��젡���'This is the AeroSeven.�� I�ǡ�� k'It's been developed with the help of the Caterham F1 team.���C�u��5P�ʡā'The great thing is, it isn't some static papier mache one-off��s������'built for a motor show stand.'���C�u��s�����What do you think of this, then?��KC�u@���?�����Positively down on gastrique by Caterham standards.���������The next thing you know, they'll have a fax machine.�� �C�u@�����ȡ'The AeroSeven isn't going into production for a year or so.����ǡ���'Before it does, there's one major thing they need to fix.'��C�u���O�����Ow!��@�����Oh!�� �����EIt hasn't got a windscreen!���C�u��선����Useless!��砡���Q(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)�� C�u�� ۠����The best car they've ever made?��v������-According to him, it is. -Well...�� �C�u��L�����The best car they've ever made? Slowest...�� _�����]So, James, er...��*C�u@��5Ӡ����So you don't like cars without windscreens?��Р�����No, I hate cars without windscreens.��K�աρ�That is the most idiotic idea in the whole history of motoring, isn't it?�� iC�u@��R������What is the point?����ˡŁ�What advantage is there of building a car without a windscreen?���š�� You might as well have a snorkel mask with no glass in it�� �C�u@��i������and you get hit in the eyeball by fish.�� ����� ?-(LAUGHTER) -It's that idiotic.����ˡŁ�James, before you have an aneurysm, there are one or two points��RC�u��������that Hammond and I would like to make�� ������ �about some of the things you said in that film.�� �C�u@���U�����Hammond, do you want to go first?�������6Yeah, four minutes and 58 seconds into your film,�� ͠����$whilst referring to acceleration figures,���C�u���T�����you say, "they are just numbers, they're meaningless."���������-They are. -You would say that!��@C�u@��Ҙ�ơ��James, but a car that accelerates from 0-60 in 2.8 seconds�� ������ is better than one that does it in seven seconds.�� `C�u@���5�����No, what I was actually saying...��砤���Also, at three minutes 51,��V�ȡyou say and I'm paraphrasing here, that giving it more power��1C�u@�� �͡ǁ-is like trying to improve a curry by adding more chillies. -Mmm.���������That is how you improve a curry!���C�u@�� ������-No, it isn't. -It is.�������@Remember the chicken curry from school,��b�ȡ �it was screaming for more spice, it's what it needed is more.�� 3C�u@�� 4������Yes, then James at five minutes and 29 seconds,��1�����Syou said you were sliding around like Mika Hakkinen.��tC�u�� Q��ɡÁ-I was. -Yes, but you see Mika Hakkinen is a Formula 1 driver��]�����and they don't slide around.��)C�u@�� hU�֡ЁYeah, but when Mika Hakkinen took me out for a drive, he did slide around!�� 䠶��� Yes, but he's not known for sliding around.�� �C�u@�� ��١ӁNo, exactly. He might collect porcelain frogs but you don't go around saying,����ɡÁ"I'm collecting porcelain frogs like Mika Hakkinen right now."�� �C�u@�� ������-It's not relevant. -Exactly!�� (����� IHave you quite finished?��ܠ̡ƁFWell, not really because there's a lot to go through but, sadly,�� C�u@�� ���ơ��we must now find out how fast these cars go round our track��s������and that, of course, means handing them over��4C�u@�� �u�����to a man who can actually drive!��*�����K(LAUGHTER)����¡�� Some say that he once put Helen Mirren in a dishwasher.��]C�u@�� �������(LAUGHTER)��󠾡��And that at the Winter Olympics he was disqualified�� '�ӡ́\from the skeleton event for riding down the hill on an actual skeleton.��DC�u�� ������(LAUGHTER)��m������All we know is he's called The Stig!��V����� H(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)���C�u�� *������And they are off.��U�ȡvOo, it's a bit damp out there, that may slow them down a bit.��2C�u@�� Ad�����620R building up a command...��x������Oh, no, there was the other one coming into shot�� 3������at the last moment.���C�u�� Y�����First corner in, the 620R, he's handling that well.�� ٠���� �No, still... Yes, we just saw the other one.�� HC�u@�� r{�á��And here he is, no music, obviously, to listen to today.���������Just the sound of that two-litre Ford Duratec engine,���C�u�� �������supercharged in the 620R.��t������They don't use the 2.3 that they use and the BAC Mono.�� HC�u�� �������Here he is at the back! Cos it's too tall.�� _����� �He is actually struggling to get the power down.�� �C�u�� �?�����But he is getting it down.���������Beautifully.��C�u@�� �砥���Right, Follow Through next.��a������Here he is, definitely lifting off.�� T������This is a magnificent example of car control��<C�u@�� �<�����from The Stig, in one of them at least!��񠩡��The other one simply not there.�� �������Right, just... Oh, good God, look at that.�� TC�u@�� ������Nearly losing it at the exit of the Follow Through.�� >����� `Handling it nicely coming through into Gambon.��C�u�� 7[�����Getting some opposite lock on before the corner�� >����� `and across the line!���C�u�� QD�ɡÁWe just have to wait now for James's favourite car to finish.���C�u�� g�����"The best car Caterham have ever made," there it goes.�� ������ �(LAUGHTER)��C�u�� }������Any minute now, it'll be across the line.�� �������OK, talk among yourselves.��aC�u�� �|�����-And there it is! -(AUDIENCE CHEERS)��l����� �(APPLAUSE)��lC�u�� �������Wet lap, so we're not expecting any records,�� ����� we certainly haven't got them.��4C�u�� �h�����Right the 620R, the car you didn't much like.�� 䠠��� That did it in 1:22.3.���C�u�� �P�ΡȁSimilar conditions, similar time to the magnificent Lexus LFA. OK?���C�u�� �;�����Now your favourite car...�� `����� �Not quite so fast.��������(LAUGHTER)�� ?C�u�� E�����There's no other way of saying this,���������it was a 1:45.5, so it's there.��C�u�� /$�̡ƁIt's actually five seconds slower than Morgan's wooden tricycle.��8C�u�� G}�����(LAUGHTER)��K�����l-Good. -And that's your favourite car?�� �������Of those two, yeah.���C�u�� dD�����(LAUGHTER)��ܠ�����And now the news��l����� �and the news is that later on in this programme�� &C�u@�� �����Jeremy is going to try and prove to James and me��v������that cars are better than bikes.��Р�����-Well, that's because they are. -Well, they're not.���C�u�� �������Oh, yes they are. They're warmer than bikes,�� ����� &they stand up by themselves.���C�u�� �������You don't have to wear rubber trousers.�� ������ �-They're faster. -Not faster!�� �C�u@�� �s�¡��-They are round corners. -Well, not in a straight line.�������Yes, you see, that's what I'm going to prove later on���C�u@�� ڠ�����-that they are faster in a straight line. -Really?�� ������ �-Yes, I am. -Really?���š���Yes, I am, but now we're going to do the proper news, OK?�� (C�u@�� ���ޡ؁Now you know all around the world there are museums for all sorts of silly things.�� &����� HThere's a pencil museum in, is it Cumbria?�� C�u@�� %�����-Yeah, it is. -Yeah, a pencil museum.��砮���There's an umbrella museum in Spain�� �������and a museum of the vagina in Japan.�� C�u@�� ,D�����-There is a penis museum in Iceland. -Been there.�� ٠���� �It's very cold, all the exhibits are very small.�� �C�u@�� D9�����The reason I bring this up is because,��l������in America there is a Corvette Museum.�� ������0There's a photograph of it here.���C�u@�� \ �ˡŁNow, as we know, the Corvette enthusiast in America is quite...��������-Heavy. -Yes, they're bigger gentleman.��UC�u@�� s������Big-boned.����͡ǁ�Well, one of them visited the museum this week and this happened.�� ������(LAUGHTER)���C�u@�� �������-Must have been a big one! -That was a big hole.�������� And apparently, eight cars fell into it.�� �����EThere's a shot actually looking down. Look at that.��lC�u�� �}�����RICHARD: Oh, God, that's painful to see!�������*-Damage was estimated at $37. -Was it?�� �C�u@�� ������Was it?��@�ҡ́bBut actually, we shouldn't mock because you know there was a sinkhole,�� >�¡���which is what this is, that opened on the M2 this week.�� �C�u@�� �ᠳ���Did you see? On the central reservation?�� ?����� `They closed the motorway for 18 hours.�� 栵���gThat, they kept the museum open. They did!���C�u@�� �������-Well, you can still see the cars. -Yeah, you just...�� �������I think we should applaud the Americans for that���C�u@��Ǡ����because that's a good attitude to health and safety.�������4It is. Well done, you.����ʡāROh, now, I tell you what, I've just remembered something else.�� (C�u@��/砯���Recently, we were talking about, um,�� `�Сʁ �those motorway gantry signs that flash up idiotic nannying messages.��GC�u@��IР¡��There was a sign photographed in America this week, OK,�� ������ �I think it was in Texas.��Ѡ�����There was a light snow flurry and some wag,�� �C�u��d?�����and this is brilliant, posted this.�� T����� T"Oh my God! Is that snow? We're all gonna die!"�� �C�u@��|������That's more like it! It's just fabulous.�� �աρ =But actually, that is what we should do. Because that is the British way.��&C�u@����š��Self-deprecating, make fun of the situation, have a laugh.�� k����� �Make fun of the rules and regulations.��w�����$I don't know who did this, but if you're watching��C�u@���i�ȡand you ever come to England, I would like to buy you a beer.�� _����� �-I'll put a strawberry on it for you. -Yes.�� �C�u@����¡��Now, I've received a letter. May I just read it to you?�� ���"Dear Mr Clarkson..." You're going to love this.��UC�u@���w�ϡɁ"I'm writing to you on behalf of the world-famous Madame Tussauds."���������-Oh, they're not going to... -Yes, they are!�� C�u���I�����-Oh, you're joking! -Oh, no!�� ��á�� �They say I have been highly requested, highly requested,���C�u��������to be immortalised in wax.��l����� HYou sure that doesn't say immersed in wax?��UC�u@��0������No, immortalised in wax.��a������How are they going to immortalise you in wax?��Р����tWhere are they going to get all the wax?�� 3C�u@��JS�ԡ΁Presumably they'll have to melt down everything else in Madame Tussauds,�� ^����� �to make one massive hideous wax dummy,�� �C�u@��d㠝���of a hideous dummy.��V�ơ��xIt's easy, they just get a very big candle, they light it,�� 堼���~let it drip down the edges for a couple of hours,���C�u@��|t�����then just draw a face on it with felt tip.��w����� �That would look a bit like him.��ܠ�����What are they going to do with it when they've got it?���C�u@�����͡ǁImagine children, "We're going to Madame Tussauds! What is that?"�� ������ �(THEY SCREAM)��������~It's going to be the first waxwork in history���C�u@���Q�����-to be sculpted with a pickaxe. -Yes! And a hammer.�� ��ޡ؁ �I want to see them sculpting it, cos imagine, once they've melted down enough wax,���C�u���ՠ����which is a lot,���Сʁthe size of the urn, it'll look like a scene from Lord Of The Rings!�� C�u@����ҡ́With all these little orcs walking around the bottom, getting ready...�� 3����� TA big pour, to create this hideous, hideous,�� C�u@�����ơ��grotesque, enormous thing! How are they going to fit it in?�� >�ɡÁ _No, don't put it there, put it in the Natural History Museum.�� �C�u��à����(LAUGHTER)���������Better still...�� Ġ�����Next to the big brontosaur!���C�u@��6d�����Just a big skeleton.���������Just a big skeleton next to the brontosaur,���������a big tyrannosaurus- what-the-hell-is-that?�� �C�u��R �����And then people can go and watch.����ơ���Ladies and gentlemen, the sound of bitterness and jealousy.���C�u��gߠ����My colleagues, there. I wish I hadn't brought that up.�� ������ As you probably noticed last week,��lC�u@��{��Ρȁa Danish supercar called the Zenvo came down here and caught fire.�� ��á�� A lot of people were very shocked by that but actually,��wC�u@���<�ڡԁit's not unusual for expensive cars to catch fire when they're first released.��נ�����Ferrari had a problem with the 458.���C�u@�����ӡ́And then just this week, we've been hearing about Porsche GT3 problems.�� ��¡�� �There's a shot here of one in... of one in Switzerland.��]C�u@���E�ɡÁThe internet is awash with rumours of other examples of this.���ơ��2Porsche themselves admit it has happened in Italy as well.���C�u@��㑠ʡāAnd have now suspended deliveries of the new GT3 to customers.��F�ϡɁgYeah, but what if you'd already taken delivery of your brand-new...��]C�u@��w�ԡ΁...your brand-new and expensive GT3 that might catch fire at any moment?���ӡ́1Well, we really need to ask a customer, don't we, who's just done that?��SC�u��%�����-Hammond! -What?��ܠ�����-You've just had a GT3 delivered, haven't you? -Yes!�� H�����g(HE LAUGHS)���C�u@��>S�ȡShut up! Shut up, stop talking about it. Thank you, move on.���������-It must be so depressing. -Oh, God. Yes, it is.�� �C�u��Z�����To have worked so hard to buy your dream car���������-that is then immediately valueless. -Oh, God!��SC�u@��w9�ѡˁSo to try and cheer you up, Hammond, I've bought you a small present.�� ������ �Oh, have you? Thank you, I love your gifts.��x�����gWe don't often buy each other presents on this show���C�u���������but I've done just that today.�� ����� (Mono... They're actually GT3 branded driving gloves.��}C�u���c�����Oven gloves.��򠔡�� �Thank you.���C�u���������Funny. Ha-ha-ha-ha.���������And...��@�����<-Doesn't just stop there. -Oh, please let it stop.���C�u���O�����I think we need to coat your car��)�š��Jin the most fire retardant material known to man. Pizzas.��rC�u@���,�ơ��Oh, not your pizza theory! It's one of his stupid theories.�� T����� u-Come on, Hammond, come with me. -Really?��*������Now, this is your actual GT3.�� �C�u@��������Yes, it is, actually, yes.����š���We know this because there's a fireman standing next to it�� ?�ơ��<-with an extinguisher in case it suddenly combusts. -Good!���C�u��7������Now, what I'm planning on doing, OK,��@�á��ais I'm going to take these pizzas, pop them on the car.�� HC�u@��KU�͡ǁ-And then apply a blowtorch. -No! No, you're not, no, you're not!�� _�ȡ �I've seen you do this and you're not doing it to my car. No.���C�u��g��¡��But the ladies and gentlemen want to see if pizza is...�� ������ �I don't care! Not to my car! No.�� �C�u@��|)�����Can we attach them to you?�������� �Well, if you must, yes.�������Right, well, first of all, we need to establish...���C�u��������-James, can I borrow you? -Yes.��a�ȡ�First of all we need to establish that these are pizzas, OK?�� HC�u@��������Have a look.��W�����xYou will see there's no asbestos in there,��)����� �-they're real pizzas. Yes? -Yeah.���C�u@���������James, perhaps you'd like to just take a bite?��U�����wYes, let me just pull a piece off.���������Is that a pizza?���C�u@����á��Tastes like the cardboard box it came in, so it must be.�� ������ �There you go. So those are the pizzas.���ϡɁ�If you'd like to attach those to Hammond, that would be tremendous.�� 3C�u��������-To his face? -Um...�� Ġ���� �-His vegetables. -OK.��x�����Oh, really? Come on!�� ?C�u�� ������Oh, not...��*�����KThat's ambitious, mate. That's by my knees!�� HC�u�� 9�����Now, I'm going to fire up the blowtorch. There we go.�� '����� HOh, God, come on, no! This is ridiculous!�� �C�u@��8������James, how hot is the tip of this flame?����Ρȁ�Probably the best part of 800 degrees C. Enough to melt aluminium.�� iC�u@��Uߠ����Enough to melt aluminium. This is a real blowtorch.�� ������ �Look, I can demonstrate it.��@�ˡŁ%Fire on there, you can actually see it burning the table nicely.�� HC�u��sm�����Oh!���ҡ́*This is a real, well, two layers of pizza, and a real Richard Hammond.��C�u���Ӡ����Everybody ready?��򠕡��CROWD: Yes!�������� �Wouldn't do it to him.�������$(AUDIENCE GROANS)���C�u��������Oh, yes, I would!��������(AUDIENCE CHEERS)�������� �Oh, no!��)C�u@���������(HE YELLS)��b�š���-Jeremy, that's quite a long time, isn't it? -Not really.�� ������0-Stop it! -I can smell burning sausage.�� C�u���頛���Is that alarming?��b����� 3Can you see? Pizza.�� �C�u��������-Pop it on your car. -No!��Р�����Ladies and gentlemen, Hammond is still here.�� �C�u���נ����(APPLAUSE)��lC�u��t�����Stupid, stupid.������� �That is...��Ǡ���� �I think that is a Top Gear hot tip.��SC�u��/������We're going to move on.��Ơá���Because, you see, in the olden days, when James was 43,��GC�u@��G�š��car makers would sell you a complete car like they do now.��̠�����Or they would sell you something like this,�� JC�u@��b\�����an engine, a chassis, and some suspension.�� �á�� And then you would take this to a coach building company�� jC�u@��z��ʡāwho would then fit a personalised body, personalised interior,��1�����Syou could have anything you wanted.�� �C�u��������And in the '30s,��5�����Wthis meant there were some truly amazing creations.��%C�u@����ϡɁ'Back then, there were coach building companies all over the world,��R�����t'helping the wealthy to fulfil their wildest dreams.��\C�u@���렻���'Anything was possible, and everything was done.����݁:'Coach building meant that Clark Gable didn't have to have a car that looked like this.���C�u�� �����'It meant he could have one that looked like this.'��C�u��.#�����Today, though, cars are built differently.�� `����� �You don't get a chassis with a body on the top.��C�u��Eՠ����Because the body sort of is the chassis.�� ������ �The pillars, the roof, the doorframes,��wC�u��[0�ʡāthey're all load-bearing, so changing anything is a nightmare.���C�u��o�����And this has meant that for many years,��4�����Ucoach building has been a lost art.�� C�u���������Now, though, I'm delighted to say�� 䠔���it's back.��C�u���?�����'Welcome, everyone, to the Alfa Romeo Disco Volante.��QC�u��ܿ��݁'One of the most striking, intelligent, and unusual cars I've seen in a very long time.���C�u�� �����'It started out in life as an Alfa Romeo 8C.��h�����h'But was totally re-bodied and re-upholstered��C�u��,��š��'by an old coach building company in Milan called Touring.��\C�u��Y9�ˡŁ'In the '50s, they styled and built sports cars for Alfa Romeo.��~C�u��v������'Later, they designed the Aston Martin DB5 and DB6.��FC�u��� �����'Along with the Jensen Interceptor,�� H����� H'and the very first Lamborghini,�� =C�u���������'the 350GT.��*����� 'That is quite a CV.��1C�u@����ġ��'In recent years, however, they've been reduced to making�� ������ �'mildly modified Bentleys and Maseratis.���C�u���y�����'It's been like watching Dame Judi Dench���������'reduced to appearing in a regional pantomime.�� �C�u�����ڡԁ'But now, they've decided to bring the lost art of proper coach building back,��C�u�������'with the Disco Volante.'���C�u@��+a�ɡÁCertain structural and safety related things can't be changed.�� ������ �The seatbelt mounting points, the windscreen,�� �C�u@��BѠ����the suspension mounting points,����á���they'll be the same on this car as they are on this one.�� v�����;It's like plastic surgery.���C�u��[ �ǡ��You can't change the skeleton, but you can change the flesh.�� ������ �And that is what they've done.�� C�u��r�����But has it worked?��xC�u���������The simple answer is, yes.�� T����� uIt doesn't shake, it doesn't rattle.�� `C�u@���������It doesn't feel like botched plastic surgery.�� I����� jYou don't think every time you go over a bump,��Ơ����Q"Oh no, my nose is going to fall off."�� C�u���G�����Doesn't feel like Michael Jackson.�� (C�u@��ዠ����Do you know what it does feel? It feels...solid.���ϡɁ$It feels, and this is high praise for a hand-built car, it feels...���C�u�� ������...mass-produced.����š��~'That said, it does not feel like the car that spawned it.�� iC�u��)������'It doesn't feel like an 8C.'�� �C�u@��@������That's because they've softened the suspension,�� T����� uthey've turned it from a stiff, B-road barnstormer���C�u��ZĠ����into a comfortable cruising machine, and I like that.��C�u��qK�����There are loads of cars built specifically to attack��R�����ta road like this.��)C�u��� �ΡȁSo it's quite refreshing to find one that allows you to savour it.��C�u���󠯡��Savour the views, savour the moment.�� ������'So, it doesn't feel like an 8C.�� C�u���렼���'And it certainly doesn't sound like one either.'�� i�����0Oh, it's the most...��C�u��돠����...soulful-sounding car I think I've ever heard.���C�u�������It's as though the entire exhaust system�� J����� kis actually made out of Otis Redding.��1C�u��&H�����** Left my home in Georgia��<�����](ROARS IN TUNE WITH ENGINE)���C�u��=T�����(GIGGLES)��������** Heading for the Frisco Bay *��  ����(IMITATES ACCELERATING ENGINE GROWL)�� �C�u��n������It's Otis!���������'Don't get me wrong, though.�� C�u���à����'This is not a slow car.�� H����� H'It has a 444 horsepower 4.7 litre Maserati V8.��YC�u@���h�ɡÁ'Couple that to a super-light carbon fibre and aluminium body,�������$'and you end up with a car that accelerates���C�u���E�����'like it's fallen off a cliff.���C�u���������'The top speed is 181.'�� C�u�� �ȡThing is, though, driving a car this exquisite, this elegant,���C�u��"������quickly, feels wrong.�� ��Ρȁ �It would be like pogo dancing to I Heard It Through The Grapevine.��rC�u��B련���No, no, no, you can't do that!�� �C�u��\��ѡˁThis, this kind of speed, this is where it's at its best. Half speed.��[C�u��x������I don't even feel inclined to drive it fast.�� ������ �I don't want to hang the tail out on the hairpins.���C�u����ϡɁJust want to put it in auto, put some tunes on the stereo, like so.��.C�u���`�����Pop on a pair of sunglasses,�� ������ and slow on down.���C�u����ȡ'And pretty soon, you'll want to stop altogether and get out.��נ�����'Because looking at this car,�� `C�u�� e�����'that's really what it's all about.'�� �C�u@��s�ӡ́It's interesting how many elements from other things are in that shape.���������I can see a little bit of Corvette, a bit of E-Type...���C�u@��>8�ȡThen there's the, um... I think it was called the Discovery,�� T����� uthe spaceship in 2001: A Space Odyssey.�� �C�u@��V������I see that at the front.�� `����� `And I love the way they paint it gold��J������before they paint it red to make the colour richer.���C�u@��wa�����Then there's the name "Disco Volante"��۠�����picked out in the seats.���á��<I know, in Italian, Disco Volante means "flying saucer"�� �C�u���������but to me, it's the name of Largo's hydrofoil�� j����� �in the Bond film Thunderball.�� �C�u���s�����I love that car.��򠖡�� ^I really do.���C�u��������I think it really is time now��ܠ�����to bring out my special, "in love" face.�� �C�u@�� �̡ƁI was jealous of Hammond when he came out to Italy the other day�� ��̡Ɓ �to drive the new Alfa 4C, because, to me, that thing is special.��hC�u��*k�����It's...it's the Angel Gabriel.�� ������But I'm not jealous any more, because this...�� =C�u��F������This is the full baby Jesus.���C�u@��[堿���I'm not going to say it's the best car in the world,�� 栲��� it certainly isn't the nicest to drive,����ǡ���the brakes are spongy, you can see nothing out of the back.��C�u��|נ����But as a tool for making feel special,��]�����~really, nothing gets close.�� C�u���������Nothing at all.��������E'Maserati heart, an Alfa Romeo badge,���C�u���ݠ����'exhausts made out of Otis Redding,�� �������'and a hand-crafted body to die for.'�� �C�u��������That is one hell of a combination.���������It really is.��aC�u�������(APPLAUSE)��K����� �No, no, no, no, no. No, don't...�� TC�u��2������Sorry.��5�����W-What? -Hang on.������� �You were having a go at me earlier on���C�u@��F�ˡŁ=because I preferred the slow Caterham to the fast one. -Mm-hm.�� ������ �And here you are, raving about a car���������-that's happiest at half-speed? -Well, yes.�� kC�u@��c �����You're an utter hypocrite.���������No, no, you see, the thing is,��a�á�� I'd prefer to drive to somebody's house in a Lexus LFA,���C�u�� �����cos I like the power from that screaming V10 engine.��⠬���But I'd prefer to arrive in this,��C�u���C�š��because it's elegant, it's beautiful, it's handcrafted...��Q�����rHow much is it?���C�u@���렶���Uh...well, do you know, they won't tell me,�������)even when I lightly tortured them.��w������But I have heard there's a man in Singapore�� �C�u@�Ǒ�����paid £1.5 million for his.�� k�ѡˁ �Now, there are a lot of import taxes in Singapore. I mean, huge ones.���C�u���,�����Even so, that's about 130...�� ?����� ?That's still £600,000 for the car.�� �C�u@���������Yes, I know. And what's amazing is that, in Singapore,�� u�ʡā �you're not allowed to drive a left-hand drive car on the road.��^C�u��{�����So he's paid £1.5 million for a car he can't drive.�������%-(LAUGHTER) -He's completely mad.��KC�u@��*�ܡցHe isn't, somebody's just paid, what, £42 million for a Francis Bacon painting.��}������You can't drive that, either.���C�u@��GӠ����It's not a car.�������5James, I haven't got time for your pedantry.�� �ˡŁ<Because we have to now put a Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.��\C�u@��ik�����Now, my guest tonight is extremely funny,�� Π���� �but he can't drive.���������So he is the exact opposite of Nigel Mansell.���C�u���������(LAUGHTER)�������5Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Whitehall.�� ?������(APPLAUSE)��C�u���������-How are you? -Good, how are you?���������-Look who's here! -Hello.�� Ġ�����-Hey. -Have a seat.���C�u���o�����-Oh... -Ooh...����͡ǁ �Do you know, I haven't seen you since you were in short trousers.�� ^C�u@���Ӡ����Yes, well, I mean, you know...���������You were a big part of my childhood.���ɡÁAnd that's not something that probably everyone in here knows.�� =C�u���5�����Jeremy was a father at the prep school that I went to��g������and I have a lot of very vivid...���C�u@����ġ��This is a big moment for me, being here, with you, cos...��1�����R-With long trousers. -With long trousers on,���C�u��+������tight, long trousers.�������@But you were, like, the first kind of real, kind of,��;C�u@��D+�ǡ��silverback, swinging-dicked alpha male I'd ever set eyes on.�� H����� iEvery other father at the school that I went to��)C�u@��XߠɡÁwas, like, a blubbering-faced posh toff with a Barbour jacket.���������Then you came striding across the sports field,�� >C�u��u �����a vision in denim, like...�� Ġġ�� �It was amazing, we were all like, "Oh, God, look at him!�� C�u@���-�����"He probably eats his steak rare����ˡŁ�"and doesn't bother getting out of the bath to take a (BLEEP)."�� _�����$(LAUGHTER)���C�u@���!�̡Ɓ-And here you are. -It was always those book signings, that's...�� Ϡѡˁ �You had to go, all the parents had to go, if they'd written a book...�� vC�u@���������-And almost everyone at this school had... -Yeah.���������You'd be in this room and there'd be Jeremy Paxman���������with a big stack of books he was trying to sell.�� �C�u@���!�����It was you and Paxman...���������I remember it like it was yesterday.��������tThere was one room, it was a science lab,���C�u���D�����you were at one end, Paxman was at the other.�� ?C�u@�� 젺���He'd have some really acerbic, intelligent book�� Ġ���� �he'd written about the Reformation,��x�����then you'd have, you know... "Full Throttle",���C�u@�� ������-or whatever it was. -It was. It was.���������He'd got a queue of people going, you know,��K�ɡÁ"Your observations on the Plantagenets are most interesting."�� C�u@�� 5ՠȡAnd I got, "Do you think the Subaru is better than the Evo?"��;�Сʁ\Now, we get many guests down here who say, "Ooh, no, I can't drive."���C�u@�� [4�����And they mean, "I've never done any track driving�� Ϡ���� �"and I'm not very confident and I'm not very good."���C�u�� n������When we say you can't drive, we mean you can't drive.��̠�����No. No, I can't drive at all.�� ?C�u@�� �L�¡��I... I mean, I've been in a car once, behind the wheel.���������I've done passenger stuff loads of times, I'm amazing.�� �C�u@�� ���¡��But the driving aspect, I've done, like, half a lesson?�� ����� (My dad gave me half a lesson��������Gand it became clear that it wasn't really a lesson�� `C�u@�� �Š����he wanted a lift to the butchers.�������4So we drove down the road to the left,�� �����\he picked up a leg of lamb and we went home.���C�u@�� �?�����So that's the only lesson I ever had.��4�СʁUBut I've never been behind the wheel of a car on my own ever before.��C�u@�� �Šơ��-So I thought it would be good to come and do it... -Here?��ؠաρ�Which, of course, meant that we actually had to teach you to drive a car.���C�u��!������-Yeah. -When I say, "we", The Stig.�� (�¡�� IYeah, I mean, he wasn't... He's not a great instructor.�� jC�u@��!'������He's not talkative, let's put it that way.�� ������ �Um... well, we've actually got some footage��������of Jack's first ever driving lesson in an actual...��hC�u@��!Iࠚ���Was it a manual?��W������I mean, did it have, like, a lever coming out there?��4�����It had a pull-y thing and then three pedals.�� IC�u@��!b[�����Three pedals and a pull-y thing.��V�����x-This is known as a manual car. -A manual car, yes.�� ������hAnybody like to see Jack's first ever driving lesson?���C�u��!�������AUDIENCE: Yes!��ܠǡ���Never, ever done this before. Here we go, let's have a look.�� �C�u��!������It should make a "vroom" noise, shouldn't it?��۠���� HDo I...am I turning it the right way?���C�u��!�䠞���No? Right, OK, fine.���Сʁ4JEREMY: Was he completely uncommunicative? JACK: He didn't even nod.�� �C�u��!׋�����(ENGINE REVS)��񠡡���-Yes! -(ENGINE STALLS)�� C�u��!�`�á��Stig, I might need a little bit more from you than this.�� ������ �OK, right, so that's not working.���C�u@��"������By process of elimination,��������if we come off the clutch and press this...�� �������(ENGINE REVS LOUDLY)���C�u@��"L�����-Revving. -JEREMY: Yeah, that's revving.��砞���JACK: Getting ready.��5�á�� _JEREMY: And your handbrake's on. JACK: That sounds good.�� jC�u��"07�����No, it doesn't.��m������OK, this is getting better.��������Oh, Jesus...��C�u@��"K �����(APPLAUSE)�������� �I mean, well done.��l�ڡԁRBut we had to go from that to getting you round a lap in the space of an hour.��C�u@��"k������I think my priorities were...��@�����aHe didn't think that I was taking it seriously,����ġ�� &cos when I first got in the car, a perfectly valid thing,�� ?C�u@��"������it's the thing I always ask when I get in a car,��򠯡��is whether he had an iPhone charger.�� �Сʁ$Because mine had died and I wanted to get some photos of the journey��tC�u@��"�נ����and he wasn't happy about that.�������@He's so moody!����͡ǁ �I asked him if there was a Mrs Stig and that didn't go down well.��C�u@��"�e�����-No, it wouldn't. -That's what he needs,��������maybe he's not getting enough of it at home.�� ϠסсI thought of the perfect person for The Stig as well, match made in Heaven,�� �C�u��"� �š��him and the woman who does the demonstrations on The Cube.�� ������ �-With the mask. -(LAUGHTER)���C�u��"�p�����They would be perfect together!��l������(APPLAUSE)��C�u@��# �����What would the babies be like?��ܠǡ���The babies would be amazing! You could do it as a challenge,�� I�����hsend them to the Isle of Fernandos!�� C�u@��#*������Talking of The Stig not getting enough,���������how, if you're a 17-year-old youth,�� Ġ�����do you get any at all from girls�� HC�u��#JĠ����if you can't drive them anywhere?����¡��Yeah, it was hard. Especially when I became a stand-up�� �C�u@��#^�á��and it was like, stand-up, you're going around on tours,���������quite rock'n'roll, there would be groupies and stuff,�� Ġ�����but it's very hard to pull a groupie�� `C�u@��#{4�����when your mother has driven you to the gig.��U�͡ǁwAfterwards, you'd be like, "Yeah, you want to go back to my crib?�� �C�u@��#�c�����"My ride's outside, it's the Volvo just there.�� ^�ˡŁ �"You'll have to sit in the back, cos I ride up front with Mummy.�� 2C�u��#�Š����"Hope you like The Archers!"��������So when you're doing your gigs now,��lC�u@��#�c�����presumably your mum doesn't take you around.��Р֡Ё�No, the best thing about this latest tour, it's the biggest one I've done,�� _C�u@��#�Ԡ����and I'm going to be in a tour bus, which is amazing.�� I�Сʁ kCos the worst thing, I find, about doing a tour when you're in a car���C�u@��#�������is having to use petrol station toilets,�� `�ʡā �cos the lock on a petrol station toilet door is always broken.���C�u@�$ !�СʁThey're always bust, then you have to do that thing which we all do,��h������which I call "lavatory yoga"���C�u@��$��̡Ɓwhere you work out how to keep the door with a broken lock shut.�� �ϡɁ '-Yeah. -There's three main schools of it, you've got the Tom Daley,�� �C�u@��$8렺���where you lean forward with the arms like that.���������-Use the fingertips. -Yeah.��*�աρhBut I can't (BLEEP) unless I'm playing Candy Crush, so that doesn't work.�� �C�u@��$Wc�����Then you've got the Bowing Monk,���ɡÁ4where you put your head forward and just use it as a doorstop.�� �ءҁfBut someone can, like, knock you out if they're too insistent on getting in.��&C�u@��${�����Then your third option, which is the best one,��)�����Kwhich you should always use, is the Woman In Labour,�� �C�u@��$�(�����where you plant two feet onto the door.��w������But I committed to this recently in a petrol station�� Ϡ�����just outside of Bolton, and I'd fully committed,���C�u@��$�������but you have to be a master of your surroundings,��U�¡��vI didn't realise the door in question opened both ways!�� �C�u��$�������(LAUGHTER)����ɡÁThis, like, hairy trucker ripped it off and literally thought�� �C�u��$�蠲���I was kind of presenting myself to him!�� u����� �"Hello!"�� >C�u@��$�ߠ¡��Now, I want to just go on to... Are you playing the O2?�� ��ġ�� I'm playing the O2 on the... Oh, I've forgotten the date!�� �C�u��%ߠ����(LAUGHTER)��)�����JCome on.��6����� �-17th March. -17th March?�� `C�u@��%�����The 17th or 18th March. Like, roughly.���������-17th, he's coming, he's got a ticket. -The 17th!��4�����0Oh, no, he works here.��VC�u��%2������And there we are, so...���ҡ́)It's not just going to be a tour, there's plenty of surprises as well.���C�u@��%Hˠ����There will be the greatest ever Segway entrance�� 𠶡�� to a stand-up tour the world has ever seen.���ȡ:-Somebody's putting you on a Segway? -I'm on a Segway, yeah.�� `C�u��%d������Well, that's worth going to see.����ơ���It's got everything you'd want from a stand-up comedy tour.��RC�u@��%xנ����Anyway, the lap.��ŠΡȁ�I ought to explain, you did actually ditch the manual, didn't you,�� �������for the lap and go to an automatic?��)C�u@��%�נԡ΁Yeah, I thought that was best cos I wanted to get all the way around it.�� u�ȡ �The only trouble with an automatic is you're not going to...���C�u@��%�i�¡��You'll probably not get very high up that anyway, so...�� J����� kLet's not worry too much about that.��ܠȡhWho here would like to see the result of your driving lesson?�� �C�u��%�s�����AUDIENCE: Yeah!��L������-Here we go. -Oh, dear.��C�u��%�%�����JEREMY: Flying solo for the first time.�� v����� �Come on, Jack. You are a king of speed!���C�u@��%�������JEREMY: We shall see, you look a bit frightened.���������JACK: I was very frightened.���������JEREMY: You've steered round that one.��KC�u@��&}�����-(TYRES SCREECH) -JACK: It sounds awful.�� ������ �JEREMY: Oh, good God! And off.�� �ˡŁ-That counts though, doesn't it? -Yes, yes, yes, you're still...�� `C�u��&,�����To be honest, a lot of what The Stig says is (BLEEP)!�� ����� jIt's really just about... Oh!�� 2C�u��&D������(JEREMY LAUGHS)��������I guess we'll never know, as we do Chicago,���C�u@��&Y������heading down to the Hammerhead. Where are you going?�� ������ �That's completely the wrong...�������Oh, I feel so sick.�� C�u��&u/�����-You made yourself sick! -I made myself sick.�� T�����%And here we go, round the Hammerhead... Whoops!�� �C�u@��&�������-That was quite good. -Not really... Ooh!���š��The big circular thing is necessary there in front of you.�� &C�u��&�C�����Is it low on petrol?��������vCos it kept beeping.��������QRight, so, it was beeping at you?�� kC�u@��&� �����-Don't go off there! Tyres. -This one was good.����Сʁ�Oh, braking there! That's ballsy because that can upset the rear end��1C�u@��&�I�����in a front-wheel-drive car��ܠȡ�and I may be talking French as far as you're concerned there.�� (������Only Gambon to go and can you do it?���C�u��' }�ġ��Oh, wait a minute, yes, nearly, you can! Across the line!�� H����� j(CHEERING)�� IC�u��'!Q�����I got there.�� ?�š���When you bear in mind that you arrived this morning having�� �C�u@��'>[�����-driven a car once to the butchers and back... -Yeah.�� I����� jAnd then you had a lesson and then put that together,���ˡŁ�-I think that's pretty impressive, I really do. -Oh, thank you.�� �C�u��'[������But how fast do you think you did it?��������Where do you think you came on the board?�� �C�u@��'z������Oh, I don't know.���������In between Hiddleston and Bonneville?��4�ҡ́You're hoping to get between Tom and Hugh? Around about the 1.50 mark?��;C�u@��'������Yeah.��ŠΡȁ�You did it, Jack Whitehall... You're leaning forward like a pro...�� 𠳡���-One minute... -One minute, that's good.�� �C�u��'�9�����50...��ܠ���� �There's no kind way of saying this.�� �C�u��'�X�����-...4.5. -(AUDIENCE GROANS)�� ����� =-AUDIENCE: Aw! -It's all right, you know...�� �C�u��'󛠽���Getting in the car for me was a victory in itself.�������1Do you want to move it further down?���C�u��( {�����I feel like I'm sullying that person by being there.��$�����EBut that, I mean...��@C�u��(#!�ơ��Maybe I could come back after I've actually learnt to drive�� 𠮡�� and I would get a competitive time.�� jC�u@��(8��¡��-I'd like that because this was woeful. -Yeah, I know!��̠ɡÁ�At least I'm on the board and not at home crying in my pants,�� HC�u@��(W�����which is where I should be when it comes to driving.�� ��ܡց �No, I'd like to have you back because it's been bloody good fun having you here.�� �C�u��(n������Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Whitehall!��4�����V(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)�� �C�u@��(���ʡāNow, If you want a car that's fast, you're spoiled for choice.��$�סсESame story if you want a car that's economical or cheap, or has a big boot,���C�u@��(�٠����but what if you're a massive showoff����ݡׁ�and your main requirement is for a car that makes you stand out in your hometown?��gC�u@��(�1�����Well, that can be a lot trickier��K�ϡɁldepending upon the town where you live, as I shall now demonstrate.��GC�u@��)! �����'Welcome to the United Arab Emirates,�� 3�ءҁ T'where, as you can see, it takes quite a lot to stand out on the car front.'���C�u��)O�����Out here, your common or garden Ferrari or Lamborghini�� ���can no longer cut the mustard.�� TC�u��)h������So what do you do if you want to turn heads?�� ������ 'Well, I think I may have the answer.'�� �C�u��)�7�����(ENGINE REVS)�� Ġ�����You see, everyone thinks about blinging their wheels,���C�u��)�������but nobody ever thinks of adding more wheels.�� HC�u��)�1�Ρȁ'This is the new six-wheeled version of Mercedes's iconic G-Wagen.���C�u@��)��š��'And beside the extra wheels, it also ticks the rarity box��Q�����r'because it's one of only two in existence.'���C�u@��)�8�����More will be built, though I suspect not many�� �Сʁ =when you consider the price, which is a trouser-troubling £370,000.���C�u��*0�Сʁ'The six-wheel G-Class was originally built for the Australian Army,���C�u��*Cˠ����'who demanded standard equipment like seats and doors.��}������'In this civilian version, however,���C�u��*_e�¡��'you get heated and ventilated electric leather chairs,��h������'a leather-trimmed dashboard�� `C�u��*yp�����'and a bamboo-lined cargo bay.'�� 堹��� You really do get a lot of car for your money,�� IC�u��*�᠝���as in a lot of car.�� ڠ͡ǁ �I mean, look at it. It's nearly a metre longer than a Range Rover���C�u��*�ՠ����and it's got 37-inch wheels.�� �ġ�� ?I reckon I could get my head in the gap between the wheel�� kC�u��*�������and the wheel arch.�������� HYeah, I can. Try doing that in a Range Rover.�� �C�u��*։�����(ENGINE REVS)�� JC�u��*�š��'The six-by-six also weighs three-and-three-quarter tonnes�� C�u��+������'or the same as three VW Golfs.�� ����� 2'So, engine-wise, it can't afford to mess about.'��C�u��+"�ơ��It's actually got a 5.5 litre, 536-horsepower twin-turbo V8��dC�u��+;������from Mercedes's in-house nutterists, AMG.�� �C�u��+Sh�����Oh, we're getting a move on!��l����� �560 pound-feet of torque.�� =C�u��+q[�����0-60 in under six seconds.���C�u��+��ϡɁThat's sports car stuff in something the size of a shopping centre.���C�u@��+�]�ˡŁFuel economy? Well, I doubt this will be the official transport�� '����� Hto the next Greenpeace annual conference.��C�u@��+�נơ��All I'll say is they thought it best to fit two fuel tanks.�� H����� iYou change over using this switch up here.�� HC�u��+ө�����And everybody loves an overhead switch.�� ����� If I drove this down Ross-on-Wye high street,�� (C�u��+������I would be lord of all I survey.�� (������The undisputed king of Herefordshire.�� �C�u��,\�סс'Never mind Herefordshire, this thing attracts attention even around here.'���C�u��,�����(SIREN WAILS)��J�����lSeriously?���C�u@��,-堑���Really?���������'Yeah, he's serious.�������� j'As it turned out,��ܠǡ��g'the policeman had never seen such an unusual car before...'�� �C�u@��,N�ȡThere's six wheels. I guess it's the same on the other side.��E�����f'...and was on his way again after he'd had a look.'�� C�u��,l������Bye!���������Lamborghini Aventador police car.�� ������They don't have those in Ross-on-Wye.��C�u��,�Ǡ����Or these...���������Ferrari FF.���C�u��,�8�����That's an SMG.�� ������ �What a funny day.���C�u��,�c�š��'Now, although the six-by-six is seriously quick on tarmac�������:'and turns policemen's heads,�� �C�u��,�a�á��'where it's really built to shine is as an off-roader.'��<������Let me give you an example.���C�u��,�K�ǡ��A Land Rover Defender can wade through half a metre of water��⠟���and that's very good.�� C�u��- ������This can wade through twice that.�� ��ȡ �'However, this being the desert, water is quite hard to find,���C�u��-.%�����'so if you want to test it, you do have to improvise.'���C�u��-r������Morning, sorry.��@�̡Ɓ HSorry. This is, unless I'm very much mistaken, a metre of water.���C�u��-� �����And my six-by-six is wading through it.��]C�u��-�������Even dealing with the rubber rings.�������� �Yeah, not having any difficulties with this at all.�� �C�u@��-�9�����'But how does it cope with sand?'�� �Сʁ ?Well, the good news is, sand is one thing we're really not short of.���C�u��-�٠����'Welcome to the Empty Quarter.�� 𠱡���'The largest sand desert in the world.�� �C�u��.P�����'Covering some 250,000 square miles.��Q�����s'Out here, temperatures hit 50 degrees centigrade���C�u��.6ܠ����'and there are dunes more than 800ft high.'��sC�u��.nT�����OK, we have six-wheel drive��۠�����with the power split 30-40-30 across the axles, check.���C�u@��.�3�ӡ́Stronger front springs from the armoured version of the G-Class, check.��r������Locking diffs, oh, we've got those.�� �C�u@��.���ȡThe most you'd expect normally would be three. On here, five!����ġ���And you lock them using these buttons in different ways.���C�u��.�9�����Right, let's go.���C�u��.�Ǡ����These are big, big dunes.��格���This is more of a sand mountain I'm on right now.�� �C�u��/ 젹���Oh! Three-and-three-quarter tonnes of Mercedes��;�����\is doing this, it just doesn't feel right!��C�u��/1������(HE CACKLES)��@C�u@��/T������This extra axle and these two extra wheels,�� �ơ�� 3it changes the way the six-by-six travels over the ground,��1C�u��/ns�����it undulates, it feels supple.��񠹡���It's like blasting through the desert dunes...�� =C�u��/�C�����...riding a sinew.������� �(HE LAUGHS)��������fCome on!���C�u��/�������O-o-o-oh!�� �C�u��/�������No! (BLEEP)!��a����� HI got some air. Sorry, everybody.�� �C�u��/ޏ�����'Intoxicated by what the Merc could do,��  ���� �'I drove deeper and deeper into the Empty Quarter.'��<C�u��/�Р����Right, where's it go now?�������� uCos... Oh, my God! Oh!�� �C�u��03t�����Oh, for crying out loud!�� T������I wouldn't ski down that!���C�u��0Y�����OK.��������FWhoa-oh-oh-aah!���C�u��0u�����Over the top, over the top...�� ������ �Oh! Oh, very unpleasant, not nice!�� C�u��0�������(HE YELLS)���������It's vertical!���C�u��0�y�����I'm in a car, I'm having a plane crash!�� ������I'm still going down!���C�u��0п�����Oh, what a stupid place, I hate it!�� �������'Ahead, I saw a nice, flat desert floor��C�u��0����'and decided that was a much safer place to be.'�� �C�u��1`�����(HE LAUGHS)��󠘡��It's drifting!������� TNow it's a rally car, a gigantic rally car.���C�u��1>@�ġ��And let's not forget, I'm not having to shout over this,�� ������ �it's not "Raaargh!" in here.���C�u��1R������I'm still cocooned in luxury.�� ������It's an amazing device.���C�u��1zG�����'Now, when you take an off-roader across sand,���������'the standard practice, as I've done,��wC�u��1���ҡ́'is to let some air out of the tyres to give them a bigger footprint.'���C�u@��1�`�š��Now I'm going back on tarmac, so I need to reinflate them.���������All I've got to do is operate these overhead switches.��C�u��1�]�����I feel like a jet pilot.���������Compressor on.��@������Going up.��xC�u��1�h�ȡAnd they can reinflate all of these tyres in under a minute.���������Oh, I love this.���C�u��1�������If I did this in Ledbury I'd be mobbed by now.�� �C�u��2㠭���'Leaving the Empty Quarter behind,�� ������ �'I headed back towards civilisation.'�� �C�u��21������I'm not going to pretend this is anything less than�� ������ a preposterous machine.�� �C�u��2G[�����It's a six-metre,����ʡāthree-and-three-quarter tonne, £370,000, six-wheeled dinosaur,���C�u��2dC�����but as dinosaurs go, it is a magnificent one.��R�����tMagnificent to behold, magnificently made,�� �C�u��2�Ǡ����it's one of the car world's mad moments.�� ������ �A day off from Priuses and Leafs.�� �C�u��2���ϡɁAnd even in a country as chock-full of showy-offy cars as this one,��/C�u��2�L�����it's still really rather special.��4������You can forget your chrome wraps and whatever,�� �C�u@��2�@�����I don't think you can beat��5�����Wjust having more wheels than anything else,�� �����sand I can say with absolute confidence��)C�u��2�������that I have more wheels than any other... Oh.�� �C�u��3��¡��No matter, one thing I can say for sure is that this is��������the most extreme Mercedes out here.�� C�u@��3*��ȡI doubt there's anything with a Mercedes badge in these parts�� ������ �that can draw as much attention...as that.���C�u��3_������All right, so I don't have the most wheels,�� ������ �it's not the most extreme Mercedes out here,�� C�u@��3u������but the six-by-six does have size on its side.����š���Bigger than any Range Rover, bigger than any Land Cruiser,�� _C�u@��3�,�á��bigger than that old Jeep up there and that's the thing,��t������a car can be beautiful but when it's big,�� ?C�u��3�!�ġ��it's got presence and they don't come much bigger than...�� �C�u��3�ՠ����Oh...my...God...��C�u��4S�����I want this one.���C�u��42������(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)�� k����� �Brilliant.��������]Embarrassingly, whilst there,���C�u��4H������I ran the Merc out of petrol���ơ��4-in the place where they actually grow the stuff. -Really?�� vC�u@��4\L�����-It was awful, I felt an idiot. -Never mind that,��砾���can we just look at that picture of you at the end?�� �����0(LAUGHTER)��WC�u@��4r��á��JEREMY: You do look like something out of The Borrowers,�� '�ϡɁ H-to be brutally honest. -But I have to say that Jeep is incredible.�� �C�u@��4� �СʁSadly, it was broken the day I was there, but it does actually move.�� ��ǡ�� �And I'd like to see that one day, but now it is time for me���C�u@��4�c�ʡā-to demonstrate that cars are better than motorbikes. -Oh, no.���������Hang on. Jeremy, we've only got a few minutes.��wC�u��4�������Yes, yes, listen. Come over here,����¡���because what we have here is a table laid for two, OK?��tC�u@��4�!�ӡ́And I'm going to remove this tablecloth without knocking anything over.��t������Where are you going with this?��C�u��4�������Everybody, stand back behind me,��Р�����-because you need to be quick to do this. -Well...���C�u��5 @�����(CHEERING)�� `�̡Ɓ �Well, yeah. Oh, well done. That's really cleared that up for us.��&C�u@��5'�����Bikes are faster than a table! Or something.�� ٠���� �What's that got to do with anything?��)�ɡÁEIt went rather well, better than I'd expected, if I'm honest!�� jC�u��5Gؠӡ́Anyway, the thing is, BMW once did that trick with a much larger table,���C�u��5_͠����as I shall now demonstrate with this bit of film.�� �C�u��5�������(ENGINE REVS)�� C�u��5�������(CHEERING)�� �����*Well, that is tremendous, it's amazing.�� H������Well done, the motorbike.���C�u��5������Yeah.���ҡ́But what I'm going to do now is that exact same thing only with a car.��tC�u@�5鱠ΡȁYou are aware, aren't you, that a Superbike accelerates very fast?��<�����^Yes, Hammond, from say 10-150,�� �C�u@��6Ѡաρbut to do that you need the instant acceleration, it's 0-10 that matters.����ݡׁThat is a very good point because it's very difficult to get a bike off the line.��C�u@��6&�աρRight, I'll admit, it usually spins the wheel or it flips over backwards.�� ������ �You see, cars don't flip over backwards,��@�����$it's one of the many reasons why they're better.�� ?C�u@��6B㠾���-And the car I've selected is this one. -A Datsun?�� j����� �A Nissan GT-R.����ɡÁ�No, I approve of your choice of car, actually, I have to say.�� =C�u@��6bɠˡŁYeah, cos May and I were playing with one of these the other day�� T����� vand the way it sets off is simply unbelievable.��tC�u@��6|ԠݡׁI mean, it really is, there's no car I've ever driven that goes from 0-10 faster.����ˡŁ�It's got four-wheel drive and an amazing launch control system.�� uC�u@��6�C�ѡˁSo you put your foot hard down on the accelerator, hard on the brake,�� 2�ӡ́ Ttake your foot off the brake, computer does everything and you set off.�� C�u@��6�������-OK, and this is the table, yeah? -Yes, it is.�� >����� >So let's get this straight.���͡ǁ~You are going to pull this tablecloth off this, what, 18ft table?��<C�u@��6ј�����-Yes. -Using this Datsun?�������4-Listen... -Without breaking anything?��Š����-Without knocking a single thing over. -Really?��4C�u��6������-Yes. -The words "stand" and "back" spring to mind.��ؠ�����Ye of little faith.���C�u��6�������OK, I'm using the same length of rope that BMW did.���������Same amount of slack that they did,���C�u@��7Ƞ����we're pulling from the same place that they did.�� I����� kEverything is... What?��a������-Have you actually measured this out? -A bit.�� C�u@��7/ݠš��You've got to go 18ft to get the tablecloth off the table,�� ����� '-plus the length of that bit off the end... -Yes.���C�u@��7F!�����Plus you got to account for the amount of rope����ϡɁ and you've got to stop before you hit the other side of the studio.�� TC�u��7Z������-No, I haven't. -You have.���������I haven't, because I'm not going to drive it.��4�����1He is.���C�u@�7n㠼���Ladies and gentlemen, The Stig has come among us.�� `����� �(CHEERING)��+����� �Very rarely in the studio.���C�u@��7�͠����-Hold on a minute. -Very rarely...��K�����l-Hold on a minute. -Yes, what?��ƠΡȁSSo you are saying he is going to drive across our darkened studio,���C�u��7������-peering through his darkened visor? -Yes.�� k����� �Is this how this Stig dies?��)������(LAUGHTER)��mC�u��7�}�����Has he done a book?��+�����LNo, he hasn't. Right, is he ready?�� ڠ����GAre you ready?��aC�u��7�/�����(LAUGHTER)��U�����v-Everybody here ready? -AUDIENCE: Yes!�� k�����Oh, God!���C�u@��7�$�����We have no idea how it's going to work out,�� ?����� `but I have hope in my heart.�� ������In three, two, one, go!�� �C�u��8������(APPLAUSE)�������� ?(JAMES LAUGHS)��C�u@��8:ˠ����Well?��L�����mThat was mostly incredibly successful.�������� �How, in what way?���������He didn't hit the wall, as we can see.��4C�u@��8V��ǡ��But everything else has hit the floor, it's smashed to bits!�� ��ǡ�� �Yes, but look! There's a whole cup and saucer, not damaged.��C�u@��8q{�����-It didn't work. -It didn't...�� ����� (It is most odd actually.����ǡ���Can we see a replay of that, maybe work out what went wrong.���C�u@��8�������-Oh, there's the problem. -What?��J�����lHe's doing it too slowly.��@����� �No, that's in slow motion, you idiot.��JC�u@��8���ѡˁWell, if he hadn't have done it in slow motion, it would have worked!�� Π���� �-For crying out loud! -But now look!�������-It's a disaster. -It's a bombshell.��UC�u@��8�?�����-And that means we can end. -Yes. Mm.�� �ɡÁ >Thank you ever so much for watching, we'll see you next week.�� �C�u��8�a�����Take care and good night.��b�����b(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)�� =S�k d����>����������� 仔��K���������3�� >����U�����F���� �����_շ����F��,�� ����7�������������������������'��@�����]��������D�� Ļ����C����� ���������������� ��!��l����������R����㻔��������R��]������������������� (�����H��������6�������� �����{���� j�����s�����{��I�� Ļ����X��������������� ;��������=��1����)D�����i��������7u�����i��O�� �����M۷���������̻���^ȷ�������M�� ����h�����b���� 廕��r �����b��C�� ϻ���|�����������������7��������� ������������$������������������� ������K��������.��������#���������� ����䣷��������� ������e�����0����~���������0��O�� 廕�� ���������� ����H��������:�������! ��������b�������' �����3����)����.U�����3���� ����;|�����h����@����C �����h����V����P����������� ?����]���������'�������m[����������5����r�����������ƻ���{���������+��a�����[��������� `�����ܷ������)��ܻ����ٷ������R�� �����������������Ż����G���������� 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