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Malcolm! Reese!
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No playing ball in the house!
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No playing ball on the house!
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No playing ball through the house!
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This isn't even fun.
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That stopped being the point a long time ago.
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♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
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♪ I don't know ♪
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♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
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♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
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♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
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♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
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♪ And you're not so big ♪
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♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
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♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
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♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
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♪ And you're not so big ♪
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♪ Life is unfair. ♪
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Oh, for God's sake, Malcolm.
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This is the last time I'm going to tell you.
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Get up right now!
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I'll get up when the world stops being a cruel joke,
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which is never!
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Malcolm,
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you smell like a locker room.
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This has got to stop.
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You've wasted your entire summer
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lying in bed feeling sorry for yourself.
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Your father thinks we sent you away to camp.
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You're right. I'm a pathetic loser.
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Honey...
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this is just a phase.
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Every teenager goes through it.
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I did, your father did.
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Francis cried in the shower every day for six months.
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Reese wouldn't get out of the dryer.
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It's awkward and it's painful
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and you think it's never going to end.
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Now get out of bed! We're going to the zoo.
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Why are we going to go stare
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at a bunch of pathetic, caged animals
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and fat, suburban yahoos pointing and laughing at them?
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Because I have a coupon.
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Is the zoo one of the places where you have
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to be this tall to do the good stuff?
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I don't know.
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I've never been there when it's open.
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This is going to be so much fun.
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I'm so glad I ran into Matt.
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Yeah, that was quite a lucky break.
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Good old, good old Matt.
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It has been 20 years since I was dating the both of you.
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I can't believe you're still jealous.
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I am not jealous.
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I'm not even the jealous type.
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I was just trying to read the meter!
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Not in those shorts, Tarzan!
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Why don't you just marry Tom Cruise?!
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Okay, that's enough. Break it up.
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Hello.
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Hi, Dad.
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Francis!
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How's it going?
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Couldn't be going better, Dad.
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We're seeing the country, meeting great people.
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This is the best time of our lives.
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Well...
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I guess your mom and I were really wrong
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about your cross-country plan.
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We thought it would be a disaster.
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I'm not going to rub your face in it, Dad.
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We're having too much fun!
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No, thanks, Joe,
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I couldn't take another bite of pie.
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This trip has been so good for us.
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We have seen so many things.
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Majestic mountains, quiet little towns,
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emergency opportunities for charitable giving...
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That's great.
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It sounds like you are really making it out there.
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Yeah, so, about these charitable...
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Listen, we're on our way to the zoo right now,
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but you call us back next week, okay?
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Love to Piama.
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Oh, look how nice this is.
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And it's such a beautiful day.
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You have to stop making that noise.
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Fine, Mom, I won't breathe.
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You know, son, I hate to see you like this.
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I tell you what. Why don't we get you a wax crocodile?
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Can we see the tigers?
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I'm going to go hit the monkeys.
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I mean, go see the monkeys.
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Look, Matt's Animals of the Rain Forest show
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starts in 20 minutes.
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Gee, don't want to miss that.
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Can I just go wait in the car?
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I mean, it's technically at the zoo.
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No. And since you're so committed to being miserable,
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you can be in charge of your little brother for the day.
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No. Great. Let's look
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at every animal first,
103
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then decide which ones we want to go back to.
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Meet back here at 5:00!
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Let go of me. I don't want to be your baby-sitter.
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I just want to be by myself.
107
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Are you mad?
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I'm not mad.
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You sound mad.
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Fine, I'm mad!
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Who are you mad at?
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I'm not mad!
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Look, you wouldn't understand.
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Yes, I would. No, you wouldn't.
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You're still living in your kiddie dream world.
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You don't realize you're nothing
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but an insignificant speck of dust
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lost in an uncaring universe full of random tragedy.
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What's a lemur?
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Oh, look, there's Matt. Hi, Matt!
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Lo-lo!
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Hi!
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Hey, Matt.
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Quite a zoo you got here.
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I got to tell you,
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this is an exciting day for us.
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We don't often get a chance to spend time with the family.
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You know how it is... work, work, work!
129
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But to tell you the truth, it's mostly my boss.
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He gets off on cracking the whip.
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You know, he's a real bastard.
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But I got a feeling
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that he's about to get the axe.
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At least that's what Jimbo in marketing says.
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So good to see you, Matt. Yeah.
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I knew you'd end up doing something like this.
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You always had all those cute animals.
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Well, you didn't think Monty was so cute.
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I hated that snake!
140
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Remember the time I found him in the shower?
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Hey, are your kids here?
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I'd love to meet them.
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Oh, yeah, yeah, they're around.
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You'll recognize them.
145
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They all look like me.
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So, who's this little guy, huh?
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Do you want this?
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Too slow.
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Hey, watch where you're going.
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Big mistake, pal!
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You want to go? We'll go.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?
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He started it.
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Goats don't start it.
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Get out.
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Guess what I get to do.
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Leave.
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If we push the car till we find a mechanic,
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we can pay with aluminum cans...
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Francis, we've been pushing the car for two days.
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I'm tired and I'm hungry.
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I'm going to buy something to eat.
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No, no, no! Get lottery tickets.
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This is exactly the kind of time
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when these things pay off.
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Honey, we're not spending our last five dollars
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on lottery tickets. That's crazy.
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Now I'm going in there and I'm buying food. Food.
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Like adults eat.
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No wonder you were $3,000 under blue book.
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Cadillac? Yeah. 1974?
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If you say so.
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She is a beauty!
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I love your American cars.
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BMW could learn a thing or two
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but no, everything has to be about perfect engineering.
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Otto, what are you doing?
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Who is this handsome boy?
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Hi, I'm Francis.
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I am talking cars with my new American friend.
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And yes, he is very handsome.
182
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So, Francis, you also come to the Circle K
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for the wonderful hot dogs?
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Actually, we were just sort of passing through
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and our car broke down.
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This is so lucky for you.
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This is a wonderful place.
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We own a dude ranch just nearby
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with cows and horses and people.
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We don't own the people.
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We call it "The Grotto."
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She is Gretchen, I am Otto... Grotto.
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You should come and visit, eh?
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Oh, thanks, but
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I'm out of work and we're kind of broke right now.
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Wait!
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I am having a thought!
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Eh, it's gone.
199
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He could work for us at the ranch.
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That was my thought!
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We need a ranch foreman.
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Wait. I don't know the first thing about ranching.
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Ah, you will learn.
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I can tell you are clever.
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Really, I've never...
206
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Look me in the eye.
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Yeah, I can tell. It is the job for you.
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Pays $200 a week plus free room and board.
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Done.
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I have one question.
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Yeah?
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This isn't going to end up
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with me cut up into little pieces
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and buried in a secret basement, is it?
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Nope.
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You got a deal.
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Okay, I got lottery tickets.
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We don't need 'em.
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Go away!
220
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Get out of here!
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I'm warning you.
222
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I'm not falling for your goat mind games.
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If nothing I do ever has any meaning,
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then I can't care about anything,
225
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which makes me feel even worse.
226
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How am I supposed to ever feel happy?
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Kid, I'm a zoo clown.
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Now buy a giraffe or go to hell.
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See, Dewey, there's a guy who understands.
230
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Malcolm, you're at the zoo.
231
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You have a Popsicle.
232
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How can you be unhappy?
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I wanted grape.
234
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Tigers!
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Where are they? They're not here.
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What a gyp!
237
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See, that's what I mean.
238
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The one thing you were excited about, closed.
239
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Maybe they're down here.
240
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Or maybe there never were any tigers
241
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and they just put up the signs
242
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to build a sense of disappointment...
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Dewey!
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I'm okay.
245
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You idiot,
246
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what the hell's wrong with you?
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Come on.
248
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Let's get out of here before we get caught.
249
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Okay, Cookie, it's payday.
250
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Oh, that must happen a lot in the rain forest.
251
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Okay, if I could have another volunteer.
252
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He was pointing at me.
253
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Oh, uh... okay.
254
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Uh...
255
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Could you tell everyone your name, sir?
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I'm Hal. Lois's husband.
257
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Well, Hal, are you feeling adventurous?
258
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Would you like to meet another friend from the rain forest?
259
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Ooh, I don't know.
260
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Animals that can withstand rain...
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Well, we better hurry, because the needless destruction
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of the rain forest is going on at an alarming rate.
263
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It's threatening thousands of helpless species each year
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like... the beautiful and gentle
265
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bird-eating tarantula.
266
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Now I know Victor looks dangerous,
267
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but the tarantula is actually a very gentle
268
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and timid creature.
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I am so sorry.
270
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Victor's never done anything like that before.
271
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Once the swelling goes down, the fangs should fall out.
272
00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,535
This is where you will stay.
273
00:11:41,576 --> 00:11:42,994
It's a guest cabin,
274
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:46,414
but you can do whatever you want to make it feel homey.
275
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:47,624
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
276
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,792
Move your furniture, put up pictures.
277
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,379
If you want to hammer a sandwich to the wall,
278
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,463
you can do it.
279
00:11:53,505 --> 00:11:55,048
So, Francis, tell me,
280
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,757
you like horses?
281
00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,552
I honestly have no idea.
282
00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,053
I love horses.
283
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,763
Their bodies are so big and their feet are so tiny,
284
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:03,848
they make me laugh.
285
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,642
This is just
286
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:06,785
so generous and nice of you.
287
00:12:06,809 --> 00:12:08,019
This place is so beautiful.
288
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,480
I never want to leave.
289
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:12,691
Oh, this is what happened to Otto.
290
00:12:12,731 --> 00:12:15,151
We were on vacation and Otto was so happy
291
00:12:15,193 --> 00:12:16,777
to be away from
292
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,779
the stress of running the factory.
293
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:19,864
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
294
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,201
25 heart-lung machines per day,
295
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,786
and if you make one teeny little mistake,
296
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,707
boy, do you hear about it.
297
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,418
Don't move, don't move, don't move...
298
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,712
You've been saying that for 20 minutes.
299
00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:34,713
I still mean it.
300
00:12:34,753 --> 00:12:36,047
Do you think he's mad?
301
00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:37,090
I don't know.
302
00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:38,633
I don't think it matters.
303
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,261
Just stay quiet and try not to look like meat.
304
00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,803
Hey, I don't think you kids
305
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:44,323
are supposed to be messing around down there.
306
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:45,599
Yeah, thank you.
307
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,267
Would you mind going to tell somebody
308
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,809
that we're down here, please?
309
00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:50,395
Oh, for the love of God.
310
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:53,189
I don't think those kids are supposed to be down there.
311
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,608
Get us out of here!
312
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:55,816
Okay, okay...
313
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:56,817
calm down.
314
00:12:56,859 --> 00:12:58,403
We train for situations like this,
315
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,322
and there are standard procedures we follow.
316
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:02,907
What's the limit on our liability?
317
00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,826
No, the press release has to sound sympathetic to the boys.
318
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,412
But make it clear it's their fault.
319
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:10,331
No, I gave you back the key to the rifle closet.
320
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:12,375
Oh, yes I did!
321
00:13:14,252 --> 00:13:17,255
Hey, you folks see the koalas?
322
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,839
Okay, let's take a look.
323
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,342
How is it?
324
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,886
It's much better.
325
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:25,555
It stopped weeping.
326
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:27,223
Someone wants to say he's sorry.
327
00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:29,850
Apology accepted.
328
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:31,870
Okay, I'm going to go take another look for the boys.
329
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,104
Why don't you just rest?
330
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,691
Hal, I don't know what to say.
331
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:38,735
I just feel awful about what happened.
332
00:13:38,777 --> 00:13:39,778
Do you really?
333
00:13:39,818 --> 00:13:40,861
Of course I do.
334
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,322
Come on, man, I think we both know
335
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:44,031
that you've been holding a grudge
336
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,784
because Lois chose me over you.
337
00:13:45,824 --> 00:13:46,867
Lois chose...
338
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:47,868
Wait a minute.
339
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:49,287
Is that what you think?
340
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,913
I just hope this makes us even,
341
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:53,458
because I can't feel my feet
and you're kind of upside-down.
342
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,875
Hal, you've got it all wrong.
343
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,503
I wasn't angry at you.
344
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,546
The whole situation was just too much for me,
345
00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,798
so I backed off.
346
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:00,881
What?
347
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,467
I mean, Lois is great,
348
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:03,986
but I wanted to be exclusive and she didn't.
349
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,720
On any given weekend,
350
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:08,264
I didn't know if she was with you or me or Dennis...
351
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:10,725
Dennis? Who's Dennis?
352
00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,103
No one.
353
00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,856
I got to go.
354
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,905
20 minutes ago, I was worried about which one of us
355
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,616
was going to be eaten by a tiger.
356
00:14:26,658 --> 00:14:28,034
Now I can relax.
357
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,836
Okay, kids, the tigers didn't go
for the steaks we threw down.
358
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:39,212
The problem is
359
00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:42,089
they're attracted to you because you're alive,
360
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,842
like their natural prey.
361
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,926
There's a "but" coming, right?
362
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,762
Well, no.
363
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,139
But we have things under control.
364
00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:54,018
We're going to fire tranquilizer darts at the tigers.
365
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,520
How long do they take to work?
366
00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:56,937
Less than two minutes.
367
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:57,980
So, the plan is
368
00:14:58,022 --> 00:14:59,524
to piss them off and keep them awake
369
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,446
just long enough so they can take it out on us?
370
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,863
Hold on a sec.
371
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,657
Okay, these people are idiots.
372
00:15:07,699 --> 00:15:08,949
Malcolm, it'll be okay.
373
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:10,951
Yeah, Dewey, I hope so, too, but...
374
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:11,952
I'm not hoping.
375
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,162
I know it'll be fine.
376
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,121
You can't know that.
377
00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,248
Yes, I can.
378
00:15:15,289 --> 00:15:16,833
No, you can't.
379
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:17,958
Yes, I can.
380
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,628
I do. I know we'll be fine.
381
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,672
Okay, just sit tight a few more minutes.
382
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,383
Apparently they had a similar situation in D.C.,
383
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,010
and we're trying to find out exactly what went wrong there.
384
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:31,681
But the main thing is everything's going to be okay.
385
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,974
See?
386
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,184
Sorry. Excuse me.
387
00:15:35,226 --> 00:15:36,644
Excuse me, I need to get through.
388
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:37,896
I'm looking for my kids.
389
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,231
There's no kids here, that's for sure.
390
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,982
Lois? Hal?
391
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,919
What are you doing here? You should be lying down.
392
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,821
Yes, I should, but then I had a conversation with Matt
393
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,407
who informed me that there was another guy you were dating
394
00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,700
while you were dating us.
395
00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,993
Oh, my God.
396
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,371
Oh, my God... Hal...
397
00:15:55,413 --> 00:15:56,456
Hal, I'm sorry.
398
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:57,791
I... I meant to tell you.
399
00:15:57,832 --> 00:15:58,999
I-I should have told you.
400
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,168
I just... I could never find the right time,
401
00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,671
and I was never that serious about Larry anyway.
402
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,005
Who the hell is Larry?
403
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,299
I'm talking about Dennis!
404
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,803
Dennis, right, that's who I meant.
405
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:12,012
Oh, my God, who are you?
406
00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:13,932
Hal, please... can we discuss this tonight?
407
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,182
Well, I don't know, Lois.
408
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:17,017
Maybe you have a date.
409
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,037
Okay, in the first place, this was all over 20 years ago.
410
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:22,398
And second, it doesn't matter because I love you.
411
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,068
And third, you were the one dating that slut manicurist!
412
00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:30,907
Here is where we put the houses for the horses.
413
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:32,951
And here will be your office.
414
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,454
You have pens in one drawer and paper in the other.
415
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,748
First, I put them in the same drawer together,
416
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:41,250
but no, that did not work.
417
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:45,338
But if you want to try it that way, you're the boss, huh?
418
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:46,547
Ah, here is Zeke.
419
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,048
Zeke, meet Francis.
420
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,216
Howdy. How y'all doing?
421
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,302
He is the new ranch foreman.
422
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:53,220
He will be in charge of the livestock,
423
00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:55,055
of the feeding schedules,
424
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,850
of the equipment rental...
425
00:16:56,891 --> 00:16:58,643
well, everything.
426
00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:01,061
I must go and set up the buffet.
427
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:06,025
I'm sure you have lots of cowboy things to talk about, huh?
428
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,798
All right, look, I might as well tell you now,
429
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:13,240
'cause you're going to find out in about 30 seconds anyway.
430
00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:14,575
I'm not a real cowboy.
431
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,703
My name isn't even Zeke, it's Murray,
432
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:20,080
and I have no idea what in the hell I'm doing around here.
433
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:21,332
You have no idea?
434
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,083
I've never worked on a ranch in my life.
435
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,752
Really? Yeah. I've never even been
436
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:26,313
near a horse you don't put quarters in.
437
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:28,172
Oh, that's great.
438
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,550
Listen, you know, you stepped into a gold mine here.
439
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:33,093
I mean, the people who run this place are absolute idiots.
440
00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:34,804
Oh, I don't know. They seem really nice.
441
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,096
"Nice" isn't the word for it.
442
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,491
I mean, you don't have to do a lick of work
443
00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:38,599
and they'll still pay you.
444
00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,393
You're kidding? I'm telling you,
445
00:17:40,434 --> 00:17:42,120
all we got to do is watch each other's backs
446
00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:44,122
and we can milk these people for all they're worth.
447
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:45,189
What do you think?
448
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:49,068
I think you're fired.
449
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,030
Now, if you'll excuse me,
450
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:55,616
I'm going to find out if this is for me or the horse.
451
00:17:56,617 --> 00:17:58,118
You broke our agreement!
452
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,119
What agreement?!
453
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,120
We never had an agreement!
454
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,373
It was a mutual understanding!
455
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,917
At least on my end!
456
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,125
You are overreacting.
457
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:06,961
So, I was dating a few guys when we met...
458
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,295
what difference does it make?
459
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,130
A few? Well, how many were there, Lois?
460
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:12,592
Don't you get it? It doesn't matter.
461
00:18:12,633 --> 00:18:14,928
You won! It's history. It's over.
462
00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:18,305
Your engagement ring is not a family heirloom.
463
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:19,223
What?
464
00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:20,975
I lied to you. I bought it.
465
00:18:21,017 --> 00:18:22,560
So you bought it.
466
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,938
For someone else.
467
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,189
Someone else?
468
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,524
I'm sorry.
469
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,168
I have kept that secret for so many years.
470
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,151
It's haunted me.
471
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:32,737
Look, I always knew
472
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,155
that I had to tell you, but I didn't know how.
473
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,950
Who was it?
474
00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,744
Farrah Fawcett.
475
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:41,579
I was 15.
476
00:18:41,621 --> 00:18:43,456
I knew there were a lot of guys after her,
477
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:45,875
but I thought that if I had an actual ring to give her
478
00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:48,586
that I would stand apart from those other idiots.
479
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:52,339
I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before now.
480
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:56,510
Well, why don't we just call it even.
481
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,389
Hey, Randy, it's Bill.
482
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,409
Are those two kids still trapped in the tiger den?
483
00:19:02,433 --> 00:19:03,851
Okay, everybody, calm down.
484
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,185
Calm down.
485
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,438
I'm obviously just picking up a transmission
486
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,066
from the zoo down the road.
487
00:19:10,108 --> 00:19:11,191
Reese and Malcolm?
488
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,192
Malcolm and Dewey.
489
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,278
Reese wouldn't last 30 seconds.
490
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:18,699
I think Stanley's getting angry.
491
00:19:18,741 --> 00:19:20,200
You named them?
492
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,201
That's Stanley.
493
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,620
That's French Fry.
494
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,790
Dewey, I want to tell you something.
495
00:19:25,832 --> 00:19:26,624
I love you.
496
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,208
Don't say that!
497
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,209
It's true.
498
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,128
I love you so much.
499
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,211
You're just saying that
500
00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,839
'cause you think we're going to die.
501
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,441
This is all part of your hating life thing.
502
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,216
You're wrong. I love life.
503
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,426
I realize that now.
504
00:19:37,468 --> 00:19:39,470
It's imperfect, but I love that, too.
505
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,430
And I love Mom and Dad and Francis
506
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,099
and even Reese. I love you all.
507
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,059
Stop it. We're going to be fine.
508
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,268
Why don't you stop it, Dewey?
509
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:48,122
Why don't you stop pretending everything's great
510
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,247
and tell me you love me, okay?
511
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,940
We're not going to die!
512
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,441
Yes, we are! We're going to die!
513
00:19:52,483 --> 00:19:54,944
This is the ultimate proof that I was right all along!
514
00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,821
And I don't need some stupid little kid
515
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,156
giving me fake reassurances!
516
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,324
Well, I don't need some crybaby brother
517
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,327
taking all the fun out of being at the zoo!
518
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:05,245
Oh, my God!
519
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,247
You're just in a bad mood.
520
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,290
We'll get out of this.
521
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:10,168
No, we won't. Give it up, Dewey.
522
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,294
Superman isn't going to fly in here and save us.
523
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:19,844
In your face, goat! Who's laughing...
524
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:27,185
Open up, open up!
525
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,314
Ever since the zoo, I've had a new lease on life.
526
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,150
It's amazing how something as simple
527
00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:37,153
as almost being eaten by tigers
can put things in perspective.
528
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:39,321
It just feels so good to be happy again.
529
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,992
Of course, why do I
530
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,203
always have to learn my lessons the hard way?
531
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,913
No one else does.
532
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,307
I mean, why does the universe
think it has to almost kill me
533
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:50,750
to get a point across?
534
00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,459
My life sucks.
535
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,087
I'm going to bed.
536
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,689
No, Francis, everything turned out fine.
537
00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,215
We agreed not to sue them,
538
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:59,175
and they agreed not to throw Reese in jail.
539
00:20:59,217 --> 00:21:01,343
Enough about that. Tell me about your new job.
540
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:02,469
Oh, it's great.
541
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:03,763
I've learned so much already.
542
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:05,472
Say, while you were at the zoo,
543
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,308
you didn't happen to see any animals giving birth, did you?
544
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,309
No. Why?
545
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,310
Just curious.
546
00:21:10,352 --> 00:21:11,520
Never mind.
547
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,400
Almost there, sweetie. Just one more push.
38045
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