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Previously on "The Last Man on Earth"...
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00:00:02,912 --> 00:00:05,007
Five weeks, solitary confinement it is.
3
00:00:05,008 --> 00:00:07,223
Tandy saw the fire. He
got water from the pool
4
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,717
until the fire was out.
5
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:11,439
Tandy did his time.
6
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,080
- How are things with you and Todd?
- He's just been kind of weird.
7
00:00:14,329 --> 00:00:15,698
Daddy's home.
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00:00:18,535 --> 00:00:20,002
What a beautiful night.
9
00:00:24,373 --> 00:00:28,411
Hey, I want to take
the floor real quick.
10
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,613
Look, I know where I
stand here, you know?
11
00:00:30,647 --> 00:00:32,515
You guys let me out of
the shed for good behavior,
12
00:00:32,549 --> 00:00:34,774
but I know I still have a ways to go
13
00:00:34,775 --> 00:00:36,886
before I'm fully back in this community.
14
00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,055
Yeah, I-I just hope you
guys give me a chance,
15
00:00:39,089 --> 00:00:41,057
'cause I really care about you.
16
00:00:41,146 --> 00:00:42,246
And I look forward to showing you that
17
00:00:42,281 --> 00:00:43,948
without a gun pointed in your face.
18
00:00:43,982 --> 00:00:45,549
I know, I know.
19
00:00:45,584 --> 00:00:46,584
Actions not words,
20
00:00:46,618 --> 00:00:50,021
but the actions are coming.
21
00:00:50,055 --> 00:00:51,722
I have an action for you.
22
00:00:52,150 --> 00:00:53,379
Give me a little wine.
23
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:55,579
Gail, thank you.
24
00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:57,282
And one wine coming up.
25
00:00:58,692 --> 00:01:00,501
Why are we sitting out here?
26
00:01:00,502 --> 00:01:01,535
It's too cold!
27
00:01:01,570 --> 00:01:04,005
I want to go back inside, Mommy!
28
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Boom.
29
00:01:06,274 --> 00:01:07,374
Still got it.
30
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:15,983
Crickets!
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Crickets are alive!
32
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Oh! Oh, no way!
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxxwww.addic7ed.com
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All right.
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Presenting for the first time ever,
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ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...
37
00:01:34,403 --> 00:01:37,204
cricket casserole!
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Is that what you were working on
39
00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,212
so long in the kitchen?
40
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Yep.
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It took longer than I thought,
42
00:01:46,896 --> 00:01:49,798
because I didn't realize
how hard they are to kill.
43
00:01:51,801 --> 00:01:53,836
I have to admit I felt
a little intimidated...
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00:01:53,870 --> 00:01:56,605
Gail being a trained chef and all.
45
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:59,241
Did you ever make
anything like this, Gail?
46
00:01:59,276 --> 00:02:01,610
I did not.
47
00:02:01,645 --> 00:02:05,114
Look, it might seem a
little wonker-bonkers,
48
00:02:05,148 --> 00:02:07,383
but I was reading in Indian Vogue
49
00:02:07,417 --> 00:02:10,639
that crickets were all
the rage over there.
50
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,225
They're full of protein and fiber.
51
00:02:13,226 --> 00:02:14,926
They're also full of bug guts.
52
00:02:14,961 --> 00:02:16,995
We're all full of guts.
53
00:02:17,029 --> 00:02:19,672
But we're running out
of options, aren't we?
54
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,414
All our canned goods
have already expired.
55
00:02:22,415 --> 00:02:25,417
There are no fish and no animals,
56
00:02:25,451 --> 00:02:28,653
except for the cow and she's
not gonna live forever, so...
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00:02:28,688 --> 00:02:32,190
like it or not, you're
looking at our future.
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00:02:35,127 --> 00:02:37,070
Anyway, to the future.
59
00:02:51,544 --> 00:02:53,712
Anybody else?
60
00:02:53,746 --> 00:02:54,946
No?
61
00:02:56,382 --> 00:02:57,749
It's okay.
62
00:02:57,992 --> 00:03:00,427
Just wanted to do something
nice for the group.
63
00:03:00,461 --> 00:03:03,063
And I spent a lot of time on it.
64
00:03:03,097 --> 00:03:05,666
No, Carol, we-we'll try it.
65
00:03:06,101 --> 00:03:07,401
We'll try it, right?
66
00:03:07,736 --> 00:03:09,803
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
67
00:03:09,838 --> 00:03:12,206
Go ahead, it's good.
68
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:25,007
This is re... You certainly
have a way with crickets.
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00:03:25,008 --> 00:03:26,159
Oh, get a room.
70
00:03:26,741 --> 00:03:28,600
Hey, Todd, you haven't
even touched yours.
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00:03:28,601 --> 00:03:31,129
I'm sorry, I'm-I'm just,
I'm not feeling very well.
72
00:03:31,130 --> 00:03:32,330
Well, that's too bad.
73
00:03:32,365 --> 00:03:33,965
It really dances on your tongue.
74
00:03:36,368 --> 00:03:37,735
This one's not dead.
75
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:40,371
Ah, now he is.
76
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,775
Here, cricket, cricket.
77
00:03:44,810 --> 00:03:48,599
Don't you want to get turned
into a disgusting meal by my wife?
78
00:03:48,814 --> 00:03:50,884
Okay, let's see if this works.
79
00:03:50,885 --> 00:03:54,488
Has anybody ever noticed you
can get salmonella from chicken,
80
00:03:54,522 --> 00:03:57,958
but you can't get
chicken-monella from salmon?
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00:03:57,992 --> 00:04:00,827
Boom.
82
00:04:01,823 --> 00:04:03,096
Nothing?
83
00:05:03,067 --> 00:05:05,068
Oh... my...
84
00:05:05,702 --> 00:05:07,326
God.
85
00:05:09,506 --> 00:05:11,106
Good morning.
86
00:05:11,141 --> 00:05:13,688
I'm about to fry up
some cricket poppers!
87
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:14,702
Who's in?
88
00:05:14,973 --> 00:05:16,540
Thank you so much, Carol,
89
00:05:16,574 --> 00:05:18,742
but we found a couple of chowders
90
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:20,544
that are only two years out of date,
91
00:05:20,578 --> 00:05:22,846
so I think we're gonna
take our chances with that.
92
00:05:22,881 --> 00:05:26,250
Yeah, Carol, I'm gonna pass,
too. I'm not feeling very hungry.
93
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:28,994
I think I'm gonna pass
as well, Care Bear.
94
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,532
Save me a plate, though.
95
00:05:30,533 --> 00:05:33,740
Well, what do you want...
breast, wing, thigh, face?
96
00:05:33,741 --> 00:05:35,146
Chef's choice.
97
00:05:35,877 --> 00:05:38,145
Count me in, Carol.
98
00:05:38,179 --> 00:05:39,780
And I'm okay with whatever you have.
99
00:05:39,814 --> 00:05:41,178
God.
100
00:05:41,983 --> 00:05:43,083
Erica, wait.
101
00:05:44,986 --> 00:05:46,220
I cut my finger.
102
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:47,921
Geez, that's a gusher.
103
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,610
Carol, get some paper towels.
104
00:05:49,611 --> 00:05:53,680
Sorry, I get nauseous
on the sight on blood.
105
00:05:53,715 --> 00:05:55,571
That's proof, oh!
106
00:05:55,595 --> 00:05:57,801
Gail, you're our medical
expert. What do we do here?
107
00:05:57,802 --> 00:06:01,371
- Medical expert, hardly.
- Well, you knew all that CPR mumbo jumbo.
108
00:06:01,406 --> 00:06:03,807
Well, that doesn't mean I
know anything about cuts.
109
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:06,677
Don't say cuts. Anything can set me off.
110
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,612
- You guys, it's fine. It's gonna be fine.
- No.
111
00:06:08,613 --> 00:06:10,147
No, you know what?
That looks really bad.
112
00:06:10,181 --> 00:06:12,012
I-I'm gonna go get that first aid book.
113
00:06:19,586 --> 00:06:21,687
Pretty cool house, huh?
114
00:06:23,356 --> 00:06:25,824
Huh?
115
00:06:25,859 --> 00:06:28,794
- How you doing, Todd?
- Good. How-how are you?
116
00:06:29,036 --> 00:06:31,070
Light switch on...
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00:06:31,647 --> 00:06:32,876
off.
118
00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:36,109
On, off. It works!
119
00:06:36,143 --> 00:06:38,856
Probably 'cause the
solar power, I guess.
120
00:06:41,415 --> 00:06:44,083
Wonder what else could
be working in here?
121
00:06:44,118 --> 00:06:46,285
What else
122
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,055
could be
123
00:06:49,089 --> 00:06:50,857
working?
124
00:06:50,891 --> 00:06:52,458
Yeah, you know, I don't,
I don't really know...
125
00:06:52,493 --> 00:06:53,509
You hear that?
126
00:06:53,510 --> 00:06:54,743
It's like a hum?
127
00:06:54,778 --> 00:06:56,712
Where's that coming from?
128
00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,315
I-I-I don't know, Tandy.
129
00:06:59,349 --> 00:07:03,853
'Cause it sounds like
it's coming from right
130
00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:06,488
over here.
131
00:07:08,924 --> 00:07:11,726
What's in the freezer, Todd?
132
00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:13,521
Nothing, really. It's just...
133
00:07:13,556 --> 00:07:15,457
I already know, Todd.
134
00:07:15,991 --> 00:07:17,656
It's the same thing
135
00:07:17,657 --> 00:07:20,726
that's in your stomach right now.
136
00:07:31,405 --> 00:07:33,639
Bacon.
137
00:07:35,308 --> 00:07:37,510
42 packages of bacon to be exact.
138
00:07:37,511 --> 00:07:38,875
I counted them all yesterday
139
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,477
when I caught you sneaking out of here.
140
00:07:40,511 --> 00:07:42,512
How many were in there
when you found it?
141
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:44,514
I'm guessing you're gonna say 42,
142
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:46,216
but I'd be willing
to bet that the number
143
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:49,853
was just a little bit
higher, now, wasn't it, Todd?
144
00:07:51,445 --> 00:07:53,123
- Wasn't it?!
- Yes, Tandy!
145
00:07:53,157 --> 00:07:54,158
There were more.
146
00:07:54,248 --> 00:07:56,282
Now, I wonder...
147
00:07:56,316 --> 00:07:58,613
did you ask the group if
they wanted some bacon?
148
00:07:58,614 --> 00:07:59,986
Huh?
149
00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:01,821
'Cause they're all eating bugs, man.
150
00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,322
Bugs!
151
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,224
And you don't think they'd
want to hear about this?
152
00:08:05,259 --> 00:08:07,026
'Cause I think they would.
153
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:09,729
Maybe somebody should
go tell them about it.
154
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:12,226
No! Tandy, please God! No!
155
00:08:18,972 --> 00:08:22,141
Anything you want to say to me
before I go down there and tell them?
156
00:08:22,176 --> 00:08:23,430
Yes, I'm so sorry.
157
00:08:23,454 --> 00:08:25,979
I'm so sorry, Tandy. I'm
really, really sorry, man.
158
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:27,824
'Cause I have something
I want to say to you.
159
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:30,946
Start cooking.
160
00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:51,262
I don't need stitches.
161
00:08:51,296 --> 00:08:53,497
I can see yellow fatty tissue.
162
00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:55,532
Which means that that cut will not
163
00:08:55,567 --> 00:08:58,536
close on its own, which
means you do need stitches.
164
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,638
Okay, well, which of you
bozos is gonna do that?
165
00:09:00,672 --> 00:09:03,239
I would like to take a strike at it.
166
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:05,976
Gail, are you drunk?
167
00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:09,896
I have been drinking,
but I am not drunk.
168
00:09:19,357 --> 00:09:21,225
So, how are things going
with you and Melissa?
169
00:09:21,259 --> 00:09:24,710
Hey, don't, okay? Don't bring her up.
170
00:09:25,397 --> 00:09:27,031
Feeling kind of guilty?
171
00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,799
No, Tandy, I feel great about it.
172
00:09:28,954 --> 00:09:30,884
You know, I love hiding
secrets from my lover.
173
00:09:30,889 --> 00:09:32,912
I'm on top of the
frigging world about it.
174
00:09:34,092 --> 00:09:36,427
You know, I've been thinking a lot
175
00:09:36,461 --> 00:09:39,329
about the, the stuff that
I did to you back in Tucson.
176
00:09:39,364 --> 00:09:42,446
- And I just want to say I'm sorry...
- Look, just shut up and eat, okay?
177
00:09:42,447 --> 00:09:44,945
The only reason you're here
is so you can't blackmail me.
178
00:09:46,204 --> 00:09:49,273
Todd, I... I would never blackmail you.
179
00:09:49,307 --> 00:09:50,786
I mean, we're bros.
180
00:09:51,877 --> 00:09:53,419
Tandy, we're not bros.
181
00:09:53,678 --> 00:09:56,213
This is just about the bacon.
182
00:09:57,682 --> 00:09:59,941
Just about the bacon.
183
00:10:00,485 --> 00:10:02,070
Got it.
184
00:10:11,324 --> 00:10:13,625
Hey, lady! How's your hand?
185
00:10:15,820 --> 00:10:16,820
Never mind.
186
00:10:18,856 --> 00:10:22,225
Okay, so I need some
help with my outfit.
187
00:10:22,260 --> 00:10:24,828
Phil has been extra flirty with me,
188
00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:27,831
and I'm getting the sense
that it's upsetting Erica.
189
00:10:27,865 --> 00:10:28,999
Oh, you think?
190
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,902
I mean, I've only seen her give
you like a hundred eye rolls.
191
00:10:31,941 --> 00:10:33,537
Thank you. I know.
192
00:10:33,538 --> 00:10:37,447
It's like, "Hi. Would you like
some butter with your eye rolls?"
193
00:10:37,448 --> 00:10:39,749
I know. It's like, "Don't
fill up on eye rolls, Erica.
194
00:10:39,783 --> 00:10:41,985
Save room for dinner."
195
00:10:42,653 --> 00:10:45,021
We have fun.
196
00:10:45,055 --> 00:10:48,324
But seriously, I'm not
even trying to attract Phil.
197
00:10:48,359 --> 00:10:51,394
I think I just need to
tamp down my essence,
198
00:10:51,428 --> 00:10:55,832
find something a little
more, I don't know, boring.
199
00:10:55,866 --> 00:10:57,834
Oh, like what you have on.
200
00:11:00,037 --> 00:11:02,679
I juiced up some crickets for you guys.
201
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,710
It tastes so good.
202
00:11:04,711 --> 00:11:06,161
Just like chicken juice.
203
00:11:06,162 --> 00:11:08,630
And there's one for everybody.
204
00:11:08,664 --> 00:11:10,131
Milady.
205
00:11:10,166 --> 00:11:11,184
My man.
206
00:11:11,185 --> 00:11:14,180
Oh, thank you, Tandy.
Just pass 'em on down.
207
00:11:14,555 --> 00:11:16,990
And there's one for you, Phil.
208
00:11:17,024 --> 00:11:18,758
You can just get it yourself.
209
00:11:18,793 --> 00:11:20,827
Okay. Thank you.
210
00:11:24,899 --> 00:11:26,812
Wow, this is fantastic.
211
00:11:26,813 --> 00:11:29,402
You're right... it tastes
just like cold chicken broth.
212
00:11:29,937 --> 00:11:31,506
So good.
213
00:11:36,339 --> 00:11:38,045
Thanks for the juice, Carol, but I'm...
214
00:11:38,046 --> 00:11:40,113
you know, I'm not... not
feeling super hungry today.
215
00:11:40,148 --> 00:11:42,736
Are you okay? You haven't eaten in days.
216
00:11:42,737 --> 00:11:45,898
Yeah, I'm fine. I just think I'm
maybe coming down with something.
217
00:11:46,029 --> 00:11:47,296
Oh, I can go to the
pharmacy and get you...
218
00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:49,206
I'm-I'm fine! You know?
219
00:11:49,207 --> 00:11:50,981
I just think I'm coming
down with something.
220
00:11:51,109 --> 00:11:52,876
I'm gonna go for a walk.
221
00:11:52,911 --> 00:11:56,280
You know, truth be told,
I'm feeling the same way.
222
00:11:56,314 --> 00:11:58,348
Think I might be coming
down with whatever he has.
223
00:11:58,383 --> 00:12:00,951
We compared symptoms
earlier. It checks out.
224
00:12:05,244 --> 00:12:06,878
Oh, Melissa, look at your finger.
225
00:12:06,912 --> 00:12:08,461
Oh, God.
226
00:12:08,462 --> 00:12:10,430
Girl, you're not
bleeding out on my watch.
227
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:13,309
You need stitches, and I will
not take "no" for an answer.
228
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,573
Okay, fine.
229
00:12:15,574 --> 00:12:17,267
Okay. I'm gonna go get my gear.
230
00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:20,878
Erica.
231
00:12:22,013 --> 00:12:24,882
- We need to talk.
- Do we, Carol?
232
00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:28,185
You've been eye-rolling me like
a googly doll since I got here.
233
00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:31,655
You don't think I see all the
flirting you've been doing with Phil?
234
00:12:31,690 --> 00:12:34,183
If anything, I'm doing the opposite.
235
00:12:34,726 --> 00:12:36,136
I mean, for Pete Sampras,
236
00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:39,028
look at this dumb outfit
I borrowed from Melissa.
237
00:12:39,029 --> 00:12:40,833
I don't know, you look fine to me.
238
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:43,836
This needs, like, a
pineapple on it or a giraffe
239
00:12:43,870 --> 00:12:45,838
or children sliding down a rainbow.
240
00:12:45,872 --> 00:12:47,517
I mean, this is not me.
241
00:12:47,708 --> 00:12:49,042
But I'm wearing it.
242
00:12:49,043 --> 00:12:50,777
And you know why?
243
00:12:50,811 --> 00:12:52,045
'Cause I care about you.
244
00:12:52,079 --> 00:12:53,352
Spare me, Carol.
245
00:12:53,353 --> 00:12:56,082
Erica, we have a chance
to do something different
246
00:12:56,116 --> 00:12:57,784
in this new society.
247
00:12:57,790 --> 00:13:00,187
Wouldn't it be nice to
not catfight anymore?
248
00:13:00,722 --> 00:13:01,744
Every time a girl
249
00:13:01,745 --> 00:13:03,579
gets broken up with, she
blames the other girl.
250
00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:05,537
But why? It's the guy's fault.
251
00:13:05,582 --> 00:13:06,916
I mean, think about it.
252
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,585
What did I do? Nothing.
253
00:13:09,619 --> 00:13:10,686
So blame him.
254
00:13:12,155 --> 00:13:13,989
No, him.
255
00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,292
Let's do this thing. Whoo!
256
00:13:51,762 --> 00:13:52,828
Gail?
257
00:13:52,863 --> 00:13:54,797
Come here.
258
00:13:54,831 --> 00:13:56,532
- Breathe on me.
- Why?
259
00:13:56,566 --> 00:13:59,668
Because I've never heard a doctor
yell "whoo" before a procedure.
260
00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:01,985
Come here.
261
00:14:02,272 --> 00:14:04,206
Gail.
262
00:14:04,241 --> 00:14:06,976
Well... I had one scotch,
263
00:14:07,010 --> 00:14:08,577
and it was like two hours ago,
264
00:14:08,612 --> 00:14:10,579
and I've barely been drinking since.
265
00:14:10,614 --> 00:14:12,715
Say the alphabet backwards.
266
00:14:14,251 --> 00:14:17,386
Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T, S, R, Q, P, O,
267
00:14:17,420 --> 00:14:20,523
N, M, L, K, J, I, H,
G, F, E, D, C, B, A.
268
00:14:20,557 --> 00:14:22,691
May I go now, Officer?
269
00:14:25,762 --> 00:14:28,063
I'm gonna need an anesthetic.
270
00:14:28,098 --> 00:14:30,533
Got you covered.
271
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:34,870
Gail.
272
00:14:38,842 --> 00:14:41,823
- Have at it.
- Whoo! Sorry.
273
00:14:41,824 --> 00:14:43,081
Sorry. Sorry.
274
00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:50,920
Okay, this is crazy.
275
00:14:50,954 --> 00:14:52,888
Look, I know it's just about the bacon,
276
00:14:52,923 --> 00:14:54,590
but I'm concerned about you.
277
00:14:54,624 --> 00:14:56,823
And I think I have a way
to make you feel better.
278
00:14:56,824 --> 00:14:59,288
Look, we still have three bacons left.
279
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,780
Why don't we bring it down to the group
280
00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:02,253
- and share it with them?
- What?
281
00:15:02,254 --> 00:15:04,996
I know it's just three bacons,
but the others have no idea
282
00:15:04,997 --> 00:15:07,074
how many packages there
were before we got into them.
283
00:15:07,075 --> 00:15:08,037
So, to them,
284
00:15:08,038 --> 00:15:10,971
- it'll feel like a million bacons.
- No, Tandy. No way.
285
00:15:10,972 --> 00:15:13,563
We clean this place up, we
get rid of all the evidence,
286
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:14,628
you take all the credit.
287
00:15:14,629 --> 00:15:17,224
- You'll be a hero.
- No, Tandy, I said no!
288
00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:18,999
I'm in too deep, man.
289
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,601
So we just keep up this
routine till the bacon is gone,
290
00:15:21,636 --> 00:15:23,149
and then we go our separate ways,
291
00:15:23,150 --> 00:15:25,930
and this never happened.
292
00:15:27,941 --> 00:15:29,211
Fine.
293
00:15:32,246 --> 00:15:34,014
Just about the bacon.
294
00:15:35,483 --> 00:15:36,616
Voilà.
295
00:15:38,519 --> 00:15:41,070
I'm so hammered, I see two fingers,
296
00:15:41,071 --> 00:15:42,968
but they're both perfectly stitched.
297
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:45,423
You could give our little
seamstress Carol here
298
00:15:45,424 --> 00:15:46,737
a run for her money.
299
00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:48,739
- Phil?
- Hey.
300
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:50,374
Why don't you take that comment,
301
00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:53,243
put it inside a bottle
and shove it up your butt?
302
00:15:53,278 --> 00:15:55,779
- What?
- And then take that bottle back out,
303
00:15:55,814 --> 00:15:57,080
put it inside a bigger bottle,
304
00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:58,749
and then shove that up your butt, too.
305
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,045
What's gotten into you?
306
00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,785
I'm sick and tired of
you hitting on Carol.
307
00:16:01,819 --> 00:16:04,388
Can't you see it's making
us both uncomfortable?
308
00:16:07,593 --> 00:16:10,437
Ooh, you got served.
309
00:16:10,438 --> 00:16:12,201
You got served.
310
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:20,003
♪ Taking the bacon and
making it disappear... ♪
311
00:16:30,848 --> 00:16:32,950
How do I get rid of this?
312
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,764
No.
313
00:16:35,153 --> 00:16:37,788
Fire pit? No.
314
00:16:39,224 --> 00:16:41,091
Bingo.
315
00:16:42,861 --> 00:16:43,894
What's going on?
316
00:16:43,928 --> 00:16:46,963
- Todd, you know what's going on.
- _
317
00:16:46,998 --> 00:16:49,199
CAROL: Is that bacon?!
318
00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:50,868
Where did you find this?
319
00:16:50,902 --> 00:16:51,835
Well...
320
00:16:51,870 --> 00:16:53,470
I'll tell you where he found it.
321
00:16:53,504 --> 00:16:55,151
He found it at a house up the road.
322
00:16:55,152 --> 00:16:57,450
It has solar panels, so
the freezer's still working.
323
00:16:57,451 --> 00:16:59,552
He told me about it
yesterday, made me promise
324
00:16:59,587 --> 00:17:02,370
not to say anything 'cause he
wanted to surprise you guys.
325
00:17:02,423 --> 00:17:04,868
- Hey, nice work, bud. What a hero, huh?
- Ah, thanks.
326
00:17:04,869 --> 00:17:05,625
Todd!
327
00:17:05,659 --> 00:17:07,393
- Todd! Todd! Todd!
- Oh... no.
328
00:17:07,428 --> 00:17:10,063
Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd! Todd!
329
00:17:11,866 --> 00:17:14,267
- Oh, you're the bacon man!
- No, you're the bacon man.
330
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:17,437
You're welcome.
331
00:17:17,438 --> 00:17:20,160
I told you not to do this.
Now they know about the bacon.
332
00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:21,666
What if they find out about the rest?
333
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:24,435
It's all taken care of.
All the evidence is gone.
334
00:17:24,469 --> 00:17:26,558
If you've got a
bacon-sniffing dog out there,
335
00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:27,559
it wouldn't even notice.
336
00:17:27,592 --> 00:17:29,536
In fact, it'd probably take
a nap 'cause it was so bored.
337
00:17:29,537 --> 00:17:31,788
- What'd you do with the wrappers?
- Relax.
338
00:17:31,789 --> 00:17:34,458
They're someplace nobody
will ever find them.
339
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:36,674
Guys, come here. Check this out.
340
00:17:36,675 --> 00:17:37,990
- What is that?
- Quick.
341
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,551
- Oh, my God.
- What? What?
342
00:17:39,552 --> 00:17:41,238
- What is it?
- Right there.
343
00:17:41,239 --> 00:17:43,152
Apparently there's
something to see over here.
344
00:17:43,153 --> 00:17:45,045
- Check it out.
- May I? May I? May I?
345
00:17:45,046 --> 00:17:46,729
- Thank you.
- You see it?
346
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,422
Hey, look at that!
347
00:17:48,446 --> 00:17:50,245
Do you see it? It's not good.
348
00:17:50,246 --> 00:17:52,383
- Oh, my God.
- It's coming so fast.
349
00:17:52,677 --> 00:17:54,812
A Jet Ski!
350
00:17:54,846 --> 00:17:57,047
Amazing.
351
00:18:03,758 --> 00:18:05,292
Oh, God. Oh, God.
352
00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:07,735
What is this? What do we got here?
353
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:08,941
MELISSA: What is all this?
354
00:18:08,942 --> 00:18:10,576
Bacon. Oh, my God. Must've...
355
00:18:10,577 --> 00:18:12,141
must've come from Japan.
356
00:18:12,142 --> 00:18:14,715
What a coincidence. We were
just talking about this.
357
00:18:18,482 --> 00:18:20,350
Todd, anything you want to tell us?
358
00:18:21,952 --> 00:18:23,486
I'm so sorry, guys.
359
00:18:23,721 --> 00:18:26,155
I found all this bacon, and I ate it.
360
00:18:27,992 --> 00:18:29,292
Oh, Todd.
361
00:18:29,326 --> 00:18:31,228
How could you do this?
362
00:18:31,688 --> 00:18:33,367
I mean, how dare you?
363
00:18:34,057 --> 00:18:38,494
Yeah, how dare you stand there...
364
00:18:38,529 --> 00:18:41,464
and take all the blame for what I did?
365
00:18:42,129 --> 00:18:45,303
I found all this bacon,
and I kept it to myself,
366
00:18:45,366 --> 00:18:48,168
and none of you would
have ever known a thing.
367
00:18:48,202 --> 00:18:49,703
But then Todd came in.
368
00:18:49,705 --> 00:18:52,448
Perfect Todd... the nicest,
369
00:18:52,449 --> 00:18:54,316
trustworthiest, straight-shootinest,
370
00:18:54,351 --> 00:18:56,719
selflessest son of a
gun I've ever known.
371
00:18:56,753 --> 00:18:57,786
He immediately said,
372
00:18:57,821 --> 00:19:00,089
"Hey, let's go share
this with the community."
373
00:19:00,123 --> 00:19:02,124
"Screw the friggin' community!" I said.
374
00:19:02,158 --> 00:19:04,416
"Eat this with me, and
we'll go down together."
375
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:07,497
Then he said, "That's
wrong, sir. Never!"
376
00:19:07,498 --> 00:19:09,197
So I pulled a gun on
him... you guys know
377
00:19:09,198 --> 00:19:10,616
I do that from time to time.
378
00:19:10,633 --> 00:19:14,002
Then he took the gun,
and he put it in his mouth
379
00:19:14,036 --> 00:19:17,705
and said, "Pull the trigger,
'cause I would rather be dead
380
00:19:17,740 --> 00:19:20,942
than not share this pork
product with the people I love."
381
00:19:20,976 --> 00:19:22,602
And as I cocked my gun,
382
00:19:22,603 --> 00:19:25,652
he calmly walked over, picked
up the three remaining bacons,
383
00:19:25,653 --> 00:19:28,756
marched straight out the door
and delivered them to you guys,
384
00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,027
tied up in a bow.
385
00:19:30,028 --> 00:19:33,647
'Cause when Todd gives you
bacon, he puts a bow on it.
386
00:19:34,599 --> 00:19:36,547
But that's friggin' Todd.
387
00:19:37,335 --> 00:19:39,436
Todd. Todd.
388
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,072
Todd. Todd. Todd.
389
00:19:42,107 --> 00:19:43,774
Todd. Todd. Join in.
390
00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:46,443
- Todd...
- Okay, Todd, what's the real story?
391
00:19:48,012 --> 00:19:49,618
This was me.
392
00:19:50,748 --> 00:19:52,015
I found the bacon.
393
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:54,118
Tandy caught me eating it,
394
00:19:54,152 --> 00:19:56,131
he had a little bit, too, but...
395
00:19:56,132 --> 00:19:58,021
this was all me.
396
00:19:58,056 --> 00:19:59,609
Surprise, surprise.
397
00:19:59,610 --> 00:20:01,745
The fat guy ate the bacon.
398
00:20:02,904 --> 00:20:04,597
And I'm so sorry.
399
00:20:04,598 --> 00:20:07,685
I'll never be able to forgive
myself because I lied to all of you,
400
00:20:07,977 --> 00:20:10,979
and I lied to the woman that I love.
401
00:20:11,013 --> 00:20:14,103
And I'll take whatever
punishment you guys think is fair.
402
00:20:14,104 --> 00:20:15,492
I will.
403
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,559
Because I've been bad.
404
00:20:20,284 --> 00:20:21,550
Nice try, Todd.
405
00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:23,799
And it moves me that
you tried to stick up
406
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:26,467
for me like that, but, guys, it was me!
407
00:20:26,468 --> 00:20:27,526
Can it, Tandy.
408
00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:29,128
Guys, who you gonna believe?
409
00:20:29,162 --> 00:20:31,030
Him or me?
410
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,201
Hey, Tandy.
411
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,754
Thanks, man.
412
00:20:40,089 --> 00:20:41,509
You're welcome.
413
00:20:42,725 --> 00:20:46,395
But look, I know it was
just about the bacon, so...
414
00:20:47,129 --> 00:20:48,630
No.
415
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:50,732
No, it wasn't.
416
00:20:52,869 --> 00:20:54,135
Thanks, bud.
417
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,437
Fist bump?
418
00:20:59,225 --> 00:21:01,093
Bump.
419
00:21:01,117 --> 00:21:06,117
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