All language subtitles for Two Mules For Sister Sara (1970) 1080p BluRay H264 DolbyD 5.1+nickarad.eng

[OWL HOOTING]

[ROARING]

[GROWLING]

[HORSE WHINNYING]

[MEN SHOUTING]

[WOMAN PLEADING]

MAN: Yeah! I got it!
Oh, Lord, yes, I have!

[MEN SHOUTING]

WOMAN: Please let me go!

MAN: Don't forget
how the straws come out.
I'm first!

[MEN SHOUTING]

WOMAN: Please!
You're Christian men!
How can you do this?

"Christian men"?

MEN: [SINGING]
This is the way
we go to church

Go to church, go to church

This is the way we go to church

HOGAN: The party's over.

You men can get moving.

[WOMAN WHIMPERS]

Hell, I don't know
who you are, but, uh,

why be a hog, man?

She can handle four of us!

We also got some
mighty fine whiskey here.

Waiting for ya!
Yeah!

Besides a...

[SCREAMS]

Now what are you gonna do,
you bastard?

You may get me,

but you sure as hell ain't
gonna get any part of her!

Unless you like
to have your fun
with a corpse!

[SPURS JINGLING]

You keep standing around
like that, the sun's gonna
burn the hell out of ya.

[WHIMPERING]

They told me
they were gonna kill me.

They told me
they were gonna kill me
so I couldn't report them.

They told me that...

Well, they ain't
telling you much now.

So get dressed, hmm?

[HUMMING]

[HUMMING]

SARA: You're a good man.

All my life
I will pray to the Virgin
to protect you from harm.

Jesus Christ.

And I will also pray
that for all your life

you have what you desire.

What the hell's a nun
doing out here?

I'm on a mission.

In Mexico,
a nun can travel safely
among murderers and thieves.

I could've avoided these men,

but instead I came
to ask for food.

They give you any?

No.

Well, there's probably
some leftovers there.

I couldn't eat just now.

Well, you look like
you could use
a shot of whiskey.

[CHUCKLING]
Whiskey?

Thank you.

Your mule?
Yes.

No provisions, no canteen?

Just how'd you figure
on existing?

I was confident
the Lord would provide.

Three more like them?

He also provided you.

Which way you headed?

North.

North, huh?

Well...

I'm headed south,

so I'll just help myself
to those ponies
and be on my way.

But first we must
cover them with stones.

We can't leave without
giving them a Christian
burial of some kind.

After the way
they treated you, you feel
they've got it coming?

Of course.

You gotta be
touched in the head.

Do you have a shovel?

Sister, raise your
eyes to heaven.

Now, are they
or are they not
God's creatures?

Well, of course they are.

Well, why do you want
to rob them of all this
convenient nourishment?

Do you have a shovel?

Yeah.
It's on my packhorse,
over the hill.

Then would you get it
and cover them, please,

for the sake of my soul,
if not your own?

Sister, I don't mind
shooting 'em for ya,

but I'll be damned
if I'm gonna sweat
over 'em for ya.

You're as stubborn
as my mule, you know.

Worse.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

How are the blisters?

Other things in life
have hurt more.

Thank you, brother.

It's Hogan.

I'm Sister Sara.

Well, Sister Sara,

you ever get tired
of being a nun,

you can look forward to
being an A-1 gravedigger,
that's for sure.

You'd better have
some of these beans.

Those fellas weren't much
in a fight, but one of 'em
wasn't a bad cook.

I couldn't eat anything
they cooked, but I'll have
some of your water, please.

Yeah. Help yourself.

Thank you.

You really are touched!

You give that
back to me, please.

Sister, you wanna bless 'em,
you bless 'em dry.

I've obliged you
about all I'm going to,
Sister.

And now I'll say goodbye.

You stay out
of that sun, now,
you hear?

Or you're gonna
really be in trouble.

Goodbye.
Thank you again.

God go with you.

Hey, you're in luck.

Looks like a French cavalry
headed this way.

You can probably
travel along with them.

Please help me.
They're looking for me.

Why?

I was raising money
for the Mexican army,
and they found out.

I had to run in the middle
of the night. Please!

[HOOVES CLOPPING]

Lady, if you weren't a nun,
I'd let you save
your own bacon.

All right,
you do as I say,
and act fast.

And get rid of that cross.
It shines like a mirror.

You bring that last horse
and follow me.

Son of a bitch.

What are you doing?

I'm doing for you

what no holy Virgin's
in any position to do.

[WHINNYING]

We'll walk slowly,

so as not to stir up
the streambed any more
than we have to.

Why did you put
that dead man
on the horse?

Because a horse with a rider
makes a deeper print than
a horse without a rider.

If we're lucky,
the French'll
follow those ponies.

Here. Eat this.

I told you to
eat something
back there.

Your stomach keeps growling
like that, we'll have the
whole French army on us.

You know these little
noises can only be
heard a few feet away.

Why are you
so angry with me?
What have I done?

Well, maybe a nun
ought not be so
good-looking.

The way I look
is of no importance.

I'm married to our Lord,
Jesus Christ.

That's exactly
what I'm steamed up
about, Sister,

if you'll pardon my being frank.

I'm not offended, Brother Hogan.

Oh, don't "brother" me.

Excuse me.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

They split up, damn it,
and they're catching up.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

I wouldn't just
sit there. Move!

Well, we can't outrun 'em,
but you can get in there.

If they start shooting,
I may not get all of 'em,

but I will get their attention.

You wait a bit,
and then head on
out the other way.

You've been a wonderful
friend, Mr. Hogan.

Go with God.

Leave him out of this,
huh? Get moving.

[SNAKE RATTLING]

[HORSE NEIGHING]

I can't go in there.

HOGAN: Why not?

There's a rattlesnake in there.

Keep singing, partner.

Get that mule in here.

Here. If we get split up,

[EXCLAIMS]
this makes good eating.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

[HORSE NICKERING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[RATTLING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[RATTLING]

Well, well.

Too bad nuns
don't play poker.
You'd be sharp at it.

There's no way I can thank you.

I suppose you'll be
starting south now.

No, it's getting
too close to dark.

We'll have a hot meal first.

Can nuns cook?

I do.

Good. And your
late gentlemen friends

donated us some beans
and coffee.

But first,
I'll scratch up
some firewood.

It's hard to believe
that rattlesnake could
taste so delicious.

Mmm.

Here. Ladies first.

Thank you.

You say
you were headed north.
Any particular place?

I wanted to try to find
one of the Juarista bands.
I'll be safe with them.

Where were you coming from?

Chihuahua.

Chihuahua?

You live there?

Mmm-hmm.
For several years.

French garrison at Chihuahua.

Mmm-hmm,
right next to the church.

You wouldn't by any chance know

how many soldiers
in the garrison?

More or less, you know.

About 200, and some cannon.

How do you know all that?

The French officers
wanted to learn
to speak Spanish,

so my mother superior
assigned the task to me.

I also speak French.

I went into the garrison
three times a week.

I hate them.
Oh, how I hate them.

Ain't it a sin for nuns to hate?

Not if it's something evil.

The French army
killing and torturing
the Mexican people,

trying to force them to become
one of their colonies.
I hate them.

How big is the garrison?

Two stories. Years ago
it used to be a monastery.

It's one of those
kind of buildings
with an open patio?

Beautiful patio and...

A balcony around the top floor,

and a staircase
leading down?
That's right.

You say it's next to a church.

How far apart are they, exactly?

Well, I don't know exactly,
but in some places not
more than 10 or 12 feet.

When you're on the roof
of the church,

is the top floor
of the garrison
higher or lower?

Lower. Much lower.

Sentries?

Day and night at the front gate.

Sister Sara,
you're gonna
slow me up some,

but I'm gonna take you to
one of those guerilla bands
you're looking for.

Do you belong to one of them?

Till I get paid, yeah.

Paid? You mean,
in gold?

Well, let's put it this way.

If they pay me off in tortillas,

I'm gonna shoot 'em
right in the eye.

But the Juaristas
are too poor to
hire anybody.

Well, I made a deal
to work out a plan
to take the garrison.

If it pays off,
then I get half
the French treasury.

Then you don't
have any sympathy
for their cause?

Not theirs or anybody else's.

See, I spent two years
in a war in the States.

Right now all
I'm interested in
is money.

If money is all you care about,

then why did you
fight in that war?

Everybody's got a right
to be a sucker once.

Mr. Hogan.

The 14th of July
is a French holiday.

By noon of that day last year,
the entire French garrison
was drunk.

What's the date today?

July the 6th.

Beautiful.

That information puts gold
right in my pocket.

This calls for a drink.

Well, I'll be leaving you
for a few moments.

Well, be careful
not to go too far.

There may be another rattler.

I'll pray as I walk.

HOGAN:
I'll keep my back turned.
Don't worry.

You're a real gentleman,
Mr. Hogan.

Guess you haven't
had much experience
sleeping on the ground.

Oh, I'm very tired.
I'll sleep.

For somebody who's wore out,
you sure got a happy look
on your face.

It was a miracle
you found me when you did,
Mr. Hogan.

Oh, that was no miracle.

Just an accident.
Life is full of 'em.

No. It was a miracle.

Yes, ma'am.

Two men are riding along
side by side.

A bullet ricochets off a rock,

kills one of 'em,
doesn't kill the other.

Just an accident, that's all.
No miracle.

Then you believe
there are no miracles.

Well, now, you take
that fella this morning.

If he could've picked up
that stick of dynamite
and thrown it back at me

before I shot him,

now, that would've
been a miracle.

[LAUGHS]

Nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.

You think nuns don't laugh?

I don't know.
I never spent the night
with one before.

Good night, Mr. Hogan.

Thank you very much again
for everything.

HOGAN: Hey.
Wake up, Sister.

Time to get moving.

Couldn't I please sleep
a little longer?

Not if you wanna travel
with me, you don't.

[GROANING]
I'm so stiff.

[GROANS]

Oh, I'm not accustomed
to riding like that.

Would you please help me up?

Thank you.

Oh, every muscle is aching.

How can I possibly
ride again today?

Well, I ride from
sunup to sundown.

You either keep up or you don't.

You'll feel better
when you've spent
a few hours on your mule.

You make very good coffee.

A man on his own
has to take care
of himself.

So you're not married?

Nope.

Ever been?
Nope.

Want to be?

Nope.

Don't you want
a woman of your own?

What for?

Share your name,
bear your children,
be a companion.

To ask me to quit drinking,

quit gambling, to save my money,

and to bitch about her
aches and pains all day?
No, thanks.

Must be a lonely life.

It's a great life.

Women when I want 'em,
and none with the name
of Hogan.

How about you, ma'am?
Haven't you ever wanted
to be a whole woman?

Have a man
make love to you?
Have children?

I've chosen
a different way of life.

Well, what about when
you get those feelings that
your God gave every woman,

including you?

You know, I always
wondered about that.

Well, we're human, of course.

When we get those feelings,
we pray until they pass.

In your case, Sister,
just how much praying
does that take?

What about
before you became a nun?
Did you ever have a man?

No.

Ever been kissed by one?

No.

Haven't you ever
laid awake at night
wondering what it'd be like?

No.

All the women I've ever met
were natural born liars,

but I never knew
about nuns till now.

You're right. I lied.

I'll say one thing, Sister.

I sure would've liked
to have met up with you

before you took
to them clothes
and them vows.

HOGAN: That limp's
getting worse.

Stone-bruised.

Take a week for that to heal up.

[SIGHS]

Well, maybe the people
in this village'll
hide you out

until this animal comes around.

Why couldn't I ride
the packhorse?

'Cause he carries
my equipment, that's why,

and I ain't about to miss
being in Chihuahua
on the 14th.

Please, Brother Hogan.

Look, I told you
not to "brother" me!

All right, Mr. Mule.

You know, you were right.
You are as stubborn
as my mule.

When we get up
to that village, Sister,

then I'll say adiós.
This is where
we part company.

[SNORTING]

Now what are you doing?

I must say a prayer
at this shrine.

You said your prayers
last night and this morning.
You're gonna wear 'em out!

It's a sin
to pass a shrine
without praying.

Not if you shut
your eyes, it isn't.

Please, Mr. Hogan.

All right.
It's a small shrine.
Let's make it a small prayer.

Buenos días, Hermana.

You see, Mr. Hogan,
what a little
prayer can do?

The Lord provided me
with a kind gentleman
who accepted my mule

in exchange
for this creature of God.

Now I can still be with you.

Your mule for that burro?

[CHUCKLES]

Well, if that kind gentleman
traded you even,

you won't be meeting up
with him in heaven.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[DOG BARKING]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Gracias.

This man lives
in the hills there.

Three hours ago,
on his way to the market,
he passed a French patrol.

Which way were they headed?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

All right.

Get the supplies we need
and move out.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

HOGAN: I want you
up in that tree.

What tree? Why?

Please, Mr. Hogan.

Looking down
from heights
frightens me.

Then look up.

I think there's
a mountain lion around here,
and I want you up here.

Excuse me, Sister.

[EXCLAIMS]

SARA:
What are you doing?

HOGAN: If you can't see him,
you can't shoot him.

How you doing, Sister?

Looking up.

Good.

We won't talk now.

I'd like him to make his run,
if he's going to.

[HORSE NEIGHING]

What the hell?

[WOMEN WEEPING]

Who the hell are these people?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Come on, get down from there.
Turn around. I'll catch you.

[SARA GRUNTS]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Huh? What'd she say
about Santa Maria?

They're running away
from the French soldiers
at Satevo,

waiting for a train
for Santa Maria.

Santa Maria's
the town I'm headed for.

Those Juaristas
I have that deal with

are hiding out there somewhere.

You gotta find out
why the French
are going there.

All right.
You can be sure I will.

All right.
Satevo's a long way away,
so let's get some sleep.

[THANKING IN SPANISH]

[ALL SPEAKING SPANISH]

By the way, Sister,
I guess I owe you
an apology.

When I was trying to get you
up the tree there, I...

Oh, no apology
is necessary,
Mr. Hogan.

In emergencies,
the Church grants
dispensation.

Anyway, it's no sin that
you pushed me up the tree
with your hands on my ass.

Where'd you learn
that kind of English?

What kind?

"Ass."

Oh, in the convent.

Sister Harriet taught us
different words for
different parts of the body.

This part she called the ass.

Where is this
Sister Harriet from,
anyway?

New Orleans. Why?

I'd sure as hell
like to know what she did
before she became a nun.

[MAN SHOUTING IN FRENCH]

[TRUMPET BLOWING]

[HORSE NEIGHING]

[GREETING IN FRENCH]

[SOLDIER COMMANDING IN FRENCH]

[WOMEN WEEPING]

[WOMEN WEEPING]

[SHOUTS IN FRENCH]

Viva Juarez!

[SOBBING]

[WOMAN CRYING]

Viva México libre!

[EXCLAIMS]

[SCREAMING]

[SPEAKS FRENCH]

[WEEPING]

[ALL SOBBING]

[MURMURING]

[COCK CROWING]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

I'm sorry.
I don't understand.

Please.
An officer is dying.
Come with me, please.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

Even though
you are not a priest,

you can give him
some spiritual comfort.

Our colonel is very, very ill.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[MOANING]

My God is with you.
Deliver his soul
into your soul,

Mary Mother of God...

[PRAYING INDISTINCTLY]

[MUTTERS IN FRENCH]

You filthy bitch!

[COUGHING]
Kiss the cross.

Sister, he was delirious.
You must forgive him.

I forgive him.

I forgive him with all my heart.

Now he is with God.

God damn it!

[COUGHING]

I don't see how
you can drink
this stuff!

You're gonna get
cockeyed drunk.
What happened down there?

I was recognized.
That's what happened.

[SARA PANTING]

By who?

I've never been
so frightened. I had
visions of being shot.

Who recognized you?
What'd he do?

He died.

What the hell
are you talking about?

I was asked to give spiritual
comfort to one of the colonels
who was dying of fever.

When I saw him,
I nearly fainted.

He was one of the officers
I taught Spanish at the
fort in Chihuahua.

Oh, thank God
none of the others believed
what he called me.

What did he call you?

A filthy Juarista.

All right,
so he died
and you're safe.

Now, what did you find out?

They're waiting for
a train, due today,
for Santa Maria

so they can load it with
supplies and ammunition.

Well, you did all right, Sister.

See, between
here and Santa Maria,
there's gotta be a gorge.

Where there's a gorge,
there has to be a trestle.

Now all we gotta do is
make sure we get there
before the train does.

Will you burn it?

I'll blow it
to hell and gone
with the train on it.

Come on, get up.
You're gonna have to ride,
else I'll have to leave ya.

I am not intoxicated.

Well, you ought to be.
That's a hell of a lot
of whiskey before breakfast.

My faith in God
will turn it to water.

We'd better hurry.

I've never seen a train
blown to hell and gone before.

[GROANS]

[HORSE WHINNYING]

[SHOUTING IN YAQUI DIALECT]

[GROANING]

Get out of my line
of fire, Sister.

Can you kill them all
with one pistol?

Put it away.
These are Yaquis.

They're wild and pagan,
but the Church has
reached some of them.

Can you get on your horse?

[GRUNTING]

I think so. I think so.

Then tell me when you're on it.

Be very careful not to show
any pain or weakness.

[HOGAN GROANING]

You'll have to stop that
when we get closer.
Are you on?

I'm on.

[SHOUTS IN YAQUI DIALECT]

[ALL SHOUTING]

HOGAN: [SINGING]
Yes, I killed a man one day

So they say

I beat him on the head

And I left him there for dead

Yes, I left him there for dead

Damn his eyes

Oh, you got
the moss.
Yeah.

That'll stop the flesh
from putrefying.

Well, what should I do with it?

Well,

I'll take you through it,
step by step.

First I gotta get
drunker than hell.

[COUGHS]

How much time has passed
since I got hit?

You asked me that
ten minutes ago.

And what was your answer?

About an hour.

All right,
I want you to cut a groove
in the shaft of this arrow,

just deep enough
for a good pinch
of gunpowder.

Gunpowder?

Gunpowder. That's right.

That'll cauterize the inside,
they tell me.

I don't know if this arrow's...

[GROANS]

...near my heart.
I don't think so.

Of course, some women
say my heart ain't exactly

in the right place.

All right, start cutting.

And don't worry
if I yell a little bit.

Come on, my beautiful Sister,
who saved my damn life from...

Oh!
Those damn Yaquis.

You don't want me
to lose my deal,
now, do ya?

[GROANING]

And the parson He did come

He did come

[GROANS]

You know, this ain't
such a nice song, Sister,

but it's the only one
I know well enough
I can sing drunk.

I don't care what you sing.

You've got
a beautiful character,
you know.

Anyway, it's about
a Protestant parson,
not a Catholic one.

And the parson He did come

He did come

[GROANS]

And he looked so bloody glum
as he talked of kingdom come

Well, he can kiss my ruddy bum

Damn his eyes

I need another bottle.

More whiskey.

[GROANS]

[PANTING]

That's the last bottle you got.

The last one.

Oh, that's bad news, Sister.

I'm sorry I can't share
any of it with you,

but you gotta have
a steady hand.

[SINGING]
Well, the sheriff
He did come, too

He came, too

Yes, the sheriff
He came, too, he came, too

Oh, the sheriff He came, too

With his men all dressed in blue

Lord, they were a bloody crew

Damn their eyes

There, finished.
That's not bad. Not bad.

That's right.
You're married
to a carpenter.

[PANTING] Now what?

Cut the shaft off right there.

Cut it?
Yep.

[SINGING]
Now it's up
the rope I'll go

Yes, it's up the rope I'll go

Up I'll go

[GASPS]

And those bastards down below

They'll say
"Sam, we told you so"

"Sam, we told you so"

Damn their eyes

May I break it?
Mmm-hmm.

[GROANS]

[GASPS]

All right,
how much time's gone by?

[PANTING] Over an hour.

That damn train.

That train's on its way,
I know it is.

Remember what I told you
about accidents?

We didn't have to run across
those damn Yaquis,

but we did.

No miracle. Just a rotten,
lousy accident

that's gonna cost me
my whole deal.

Get me up straight.
Get me up straight.

Oh.

You are a beautiful woman,
Sister Sara.

You feel like a beautiful woman.

You smell like
a beautiful woman.

Please, Mr. Hogan...

I can't help thinking, you know,

that first time I saw you,

when you were almost naked...

You must forget that.

I can't forget that, Sister,
my beautiful Sister.

I don't want to forget it.

Every night,
when we bed down
next to each other,

I think of you that way.

And I...

And I wanna reach out
and touch you

and hold you and feel you.

I forgive you,
because I know that
if you weren't drunk

you wouldn't
be talking this way.
Maybe. Maybe so,

but you can't stop
a man from wishing,

and I sure wish
you weren't a nun.

Please, Mr. Hogan.

All right.

Give me some gunpowder
out of my saddlebag.

Don't come near me
till I tell ya.

Pour some in your hand

and leave the pouch there.

Fill the groove.

Fill in the groove.

That's fine.

All right,
now comes the hard part,

'cause we gotta
time this perfect.

As soon as I light the powder,

you drive the arrow
through me and pull it
out the other side.

[EXCLAIMS]

What do I hit it with?

Take the knife.

Put the flat part over the end

and hit it with the gun.

And please, Sister Sara,

please hit it a straight blow,
not a glancing one.

What if I don't hit it straight?

[SLURRING] Oh, then,

my beautiful Sister,

the arrow will break off
inside me.

Now, I know you're
an A-1 gravedigger, but...

All right, all right.
What do I do with the moss?

You plug the holes.

Both sides.

Push it in about a half inch.

[SIGHING] All right.

One last swallow,
and it's up to you, Doc.

[SLURRING]
Are you praying for me?

Yes.

Well, then I must be
drunk enough,

'cause, damn my eyes,

I find that kinda touching.

One last thing, Sister.

The powder's gonna
flare up when I light it,
so watch yourself.

Now you can load up the animals.

We'll be on our way
as soon as you get
this stick out of me.

Ready?

[GRUNTING]

[HOGAN GROANING]

[GRUNTING]

Mr. Hogan!

Mr. Hogan. Mr. Hogan,
remember the train.

The train
with the French supplies.
You have to blow it up.

How long since I been hit?

Hours.

What?

You fell unconscious.

Why didn't you wake me up?

Well, I thought you...

You thought!
You thought!

The hell you thought!

You let me down, Sister.

You let me down.

Then why don't you
get on your horse?

My head's spinning.

[GRUNTS]

You're too drunk to ride alone.

I'll have to get on with you.

Hold on to the mane.

Lean back against me.
Lean back.

Tell your horse to get moving.

Oh, I like being
in the arms of
a good-looking nun.

How do you like it, Sister?

The Church allows this
for the sake of your safety,

but you may not take liberties.

I apologize, ma'am.

I most sincerely do.

HOGAN: Will you look
at that trestle?

Couldn't be sweeter.

SARA: It's a miracle.

Great place for an accident.

[CHUCKLES]

Is this small
package of dynamite
powerful enough?

Not if you put it
down here at the base.

But if you put it up
high on those braces...
Pow!

How can you
climb that trestle
with your shoulder...

Oh, no.
Oh, no, Mr. Hogan.

Now, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Remember, I saved your life.

I saved yours today, too.

Well, I saved yours
twice from the French.
Now, remember that.

I saved yours twice.
Remember the arrow?

What are you gonna do?
Are you gonna desert me
in my hour of need?

Now what about
that deadly rattlesnake

when you were hiding
from them soldiers?

That was easy.
That was no risk at all.

Did I or did I not come to you
in your hour of need?

Now, this is my hour of need!

Well, just what
kind of need
is your need?

All you ever have
on your mind is money.

Well, what's more important
than that?

My life. If I climb
that trestle, I'll fall.

A fine, psalm-singing
hypocrite you are!

The French are gonna
slaughter a whole outfit
of your Juaristas,

and you're the only one
who can help 'em,

and you won't climb
one lousy, stinking trestle.

That's right, Sister.
You lean on it.

A little of that
good old-fashioned
Christian faith

will carry you up there
like a bird.

I know you're scared, Sara,

but those braces
are easy to climb.

You just keep thinking of
all those Christian lives
you're gonna be saving.

Have faith in that
wonderful, shiny cross,

and God and
all those saints will be
right up there with you.

And suppose they are
with me as I climb,

you haven't yet told me
how you'll set this off
when I get...

You let me worry about that.
I'll do it with my rifle.

Now, you get going,
for surely that train's
on its way.

[PANTING]

Keep going.

I want the dynamite
all the way up on top

so I can get a clear shot at it.

That's it, Sister.

You're entitled.
You certainly are entitled.

But I never did
see anybody get used
to hard liquor so fast.

I wanna take
a few practice shots,
without ammunition.

[PANTING]
You turn around
and face the bridge.

Come on.
Turn around.

Ah. Just like that.

Now, when I tell you to,

I want you to take
a deep breath and hold it.

Come on. Grab the
end of the barrel.
This ain't easy.

Take your fingers
off the top of it.

All right, now,
take a deep breath.

Hold it.

[GUN CLICKS]

You wouldn't have hit
that dynamite.

Yes, I would've.
No, I saw the end
of the gun move

when you pulled the trigger.
Look, I'd have hit it.

Put out your hand.
Let's see how steady it is.

Oh, you're still drunk.
You'll never hit that.

Sure, I'll hit it.

Put a bullet in it

and let's see if
you can hit something
about the same size.

All right.
That little rock
over there.

Over there.
That little rock
on top of the big rock.

Let's see if
you can hit that.
It's the same size.

You cock this for me.

Just pull down that lever
as hard as you can,
then slam it shut.

This?
Yeah.

Perfect. All right.

All right.
Forget about it.

Now, take a breath.

[INHALES]

Now, cock it again.

I guess we'd better
try it with you sitting
and me kneeling.

Go ahead. Get down.

This ain't easy now.

All right.
Take a breath.

[INHALES]

[EXCLAIMS]

Um, can you shoot?
No, I can't shoot!

And you made me climb
that thing for nothing!

[PANTING]
Now, take it easy.
Just wait a minute.

I'm sobering up fast.

Meanwhile, you fix me
a cup of hot coffee.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

I'll fix you some hot coffee!

Sober up! You sober up,
you dirty bastard,
or I'll kill ya!

Sit up!

Now, tell me
when to hold my breath.

Dear Mary, Mother of God,
help this no-good atheist
to shoot straight.

[PANTING]

Hold your breath.

[COUGHING]

What did I tell ya?

Did I or did I not
hear you call me a bastard?

Well, I suppose whiskey
can make a man
hear anything.

Oh, dear Lord,
forgive him for
the impurity of his thoughts.

HOGAN: Ah, there's
the cantina I'm looking for.

I may need your help.
Is it all right for you
to go into a saloon?

In times like this...

BOTH: The Church grants
dispensations.

HOGAN: I know.

[SPURS JINGLING]

[BABY CRYING]

Buenas tardes, señor.

Buenas tardes, Hermana.
Habla inglés?

Yes, I am speaking English.

Good. Good.
Tequila.

Oh. Would you
like something?

Do you have lemonade?

I'll have a lemonade.

You're going to get
drunk again, are you?

Oh, I never get drunk
unless I'm shot by Yaquis.

Then why the tequila?

Just gonna oil up
my arm, Sister,
that's all.

I don't think they've
seen a nun in here
for quite some time.

Not one like you,
that's for sure.

Gracias.
Hey.

Sí, señor?
Any of these men in here
speak English?

No, señor.

You sure?

Sure. Me only.

Good. Well, I'd like to order
a bottle of French champagne.

Year 1789?

French champagne, 1789.

What is it, señor?

What's what?

This champagne.

Is there another
El Gato Negro
saloon in this town?

Mmm-mmm.

Are you the owner
of this one?
No.

Well, who is?

Mi padre.
My father.

When does he get here?

MAN: Psst, psst!

Por favor, senor.
La cuenta,
por favor.

That's swell.
That's my luck.

They give me a code,
and the man who has it
isn't here.

He'll probably show up
on the 15th of July.

Mr. Hogan,
you should be happy
you're still alive.

What do you want
from your life anyway?

A ranch? Cattle?
What do you want?

A ranch?

You mean get up at sunrise,
go to bed at sunset,

rear in the saddle all day?

No thanks, Sister.
I'd rather be dead.

You know, Sister,
there's this town called
San Francisco that's booming.

And if I get this stake,

well, I'm gonna open myself up
the biggest gambling saloon
in the whole area

with long red mahogany bars
and green felt tables.

And we'll play roulette
and dice and faro,

and all those wonderful games.

I realize that doesn't
mean much to you,

but to me, that's living.

Some men have strange desires.

Where the hell's your father?

Señor, he is sick.

It's important that I see him.
Where is he?

Since three days now
he cannot talk.
All this side no move.

Does he understand you
when you talk to him?
Sí, señor.

Does he understand English?

Not so good like me.

But my mother, she with him.

Un momento.

Madre.

He no can speak.

May we see him?

Si quiere, Hermana.

Please to come.

Francisco.

Can you understand me, señor?

That means yes.

I need a bottle
of French champagne,
year 1789.

I must see
Colonel Beltran at once.

Can you take me
to where his camp is?

What about your son?
Can he take me there?

Well, does anybody
in this town know
where the camp is?

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

The candle maker. She says
the candle maker knows.

In Mexico, when somebody die
or is killed on the road,

we put crosses.

So these crosses not make
anybody think anything.

Now we go that way.

How far, Horacio?

Not far.

[HORSE WHINNYING]

MAN: Put away
your gun, gringo.

Name's Hogan.
Beltran's expecting me.

MAN: You mean
Colonel Beltran.

Colonel, General,
what difference does it make?
Take me to him.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[DOG BARKING]

[BABY CRYING]

I have been waiting
for you, Hogan.

What happened to you?

Oh, I stopped a Yaqui arrow.

That means you never
got to Chihuahua?

Nope.

Sister Sara here saved me
a good part of the trip.

Sister? How?

Is the deal still on?

I keep to my word.
And you?

Good. Well, you get me
a bottle of tequila,

and I'll lay you out
a plan as smooth as
a baby's behind.

You tell me the plan.
I will tell you
how smooth it is.

BELTRAN: The roof
of the garrison is lower
than the roof of the church.

And on the 14th of July,
you have promised us, Sister,

all the Frenchmen will be drunk.

Not bad, Hogan. Not bad.
Thank you, Sister.

Yeah, we make quite a team.

In fact, if we pull this off,

we might just go
into the garrison business
together. Right, Sister?

If we follow
what you did to the train
by capturing the garrison,

all of my people
will take heart.

How many men do you have?

Forty, but there will
be more by the time
we reach Chihuahua.

How many more?

Fifty to sixty.

I thought you were a colonel
in the Mexican army.

I am.

Any army I ever heard about,
a colonel commands
a full regiment.

Yes, in a parade, but not
after all the fighting
we've been through.

You know, when you
got me into this thing,

you told me
you had no artillery.

What about dynamite?
Do you have any of that?

None.

Less than a hundred rifles,
a few machetes,
and not much more.

Even drunk,
the French are gonna
blow your heads off.

You don't know my men.

Each one of them
tough, courageous
and a Mexican patriot.

Hmm.

Isn't that sweet?

But I happen to be
a Hogan patriot,

and I'd like to have
some dynamite
working with me.

I will welcome all you can get.

You show me the tree
that it's growing on,

I'll have my men pick it.

Probably plenty for sale
across the border in Texas.

Yeah, but that takes money.

Even the food you ate
and that bottle
were donated to us.

Bien. We leave
for Chihuahua tomorrow.

You can come with us
and fight under my orders,
my way,

or go back to that Texas bar
that I found you in.

I'm in on this deal,
and no son of a bitch
is taking me out of it.

If any other bastard
spoke to me like that,

he would be dead.

But since you
have helped Mexico,

I'm giving you the chance
to get on your horse

and leave this camp alive.

Now get out of here fast.

I ain't leaving here.

Colonel, please.

This ring. It's gold.
It'll buy dynamite.

Perhaps some of your people
have other things
that could be sold.

If someone will show me
the way back to Santa Maria,

I'll go from house
to house tonight,
begging for help.

Dynamite would
save the lives
of some of my men.

I told you I was staying
in this deal, Colonel,

'cause you know that nobody
over in Texas is gonna sell
a load of dynamite

to a Mexican.

I am asking you,
buy dynamite for us.

I'd love to.

Oh, Sister.

You better sew this back on.

You don't wanna have
those people see you
going around half-dressed.

[SIGHS]

This is better than
killing each other, no?

I only figured there
was gonna be one funeral.

Catholic.

Oh? I didn't know
that you were Catholic.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Hogan.

Easy, Hogan. There are
no Yaqui arrows here.
Just a nun.

How'd you do?

I'm not sure.

What do you mean you're not
sure? You must know if you've
got something worthwhile.

I just don't know
how much it'll bring
in Texas.

You don't?

This'll buy enough dynamite
to give my horse a rupture.

You did real well
for me, Sister.

Uh...

For the cause.

Maybe...

Maybe this will buy you
a bottle of medicine

to keep your arm well-oiled.

Can you give this?
I want to.

I like you better
as a Juarista than
as a nun, little Sister.

Well, I'll just
see you in Chihuahua.

Right.

If we take the fort,
we'll owe ourselves
a celebration.

I might even put
a little whiskey
in your lemonade.

Mr. Hogan, there's
something I'd like
to talk to you about.

BELTRAN:
They're bringing
your horses now.

Fine. My packhorse
has some handguns
and some Winchesters.

I'm sure you'll know
what to do with them.
Gracias.

They're nothing.
Just a gift from some
old friends of Sister Sara's.

[BELTRAN SPEAKING
IN SPANISH]

Could we talk, please?

I can't, Sister.

I need every second
to get where I'm going.

Where are we gonna meet up?

Just outside of Chihuahua,
as you're riding south,
there is a little church.

Be there as early as you can

on the morning
of the 14th.
Good riding.

Don't let those French
spend that money
before we can get there.

Goodbye, Sister.

Goodbye.

[HORSE WHINNYING]

Hello, Mr. Hogan.

How do, Sister?

Glad to see you're back safe.

Waiting for the dynamite, huh?

Mmm-hmm. And you.

What, me personal?

Mmm. I missed you.

Yeah.

Well, to tell you the truth,
it's felt kinda wrong
the past few days

not having your burro
slowing me up.

Did it?

Yeah, damn it.

What's the matter?

Well, you see,
there's a problem, Sister.

I should've never met up
with you in the first place.

Come. Beltran's waiting.

Where have you been, Hogan?

There are only
a few more hours
of daylight.

Well, I had to go to
three towns to get it,

but I got all
the dynamite we need.

Plus plenty of cigars.

Ignacio!

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

BELTRAN:
My men will be leaving for
the church in a few minutes.

How many men do you have?

Over one hundred.
Let us go.

[BELL TOLLING]

The garrison is on that side.

They must be drunk already.
I don't hear any singing
like last year.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[SOLDIER SHOUTING IN FRENCH]

Nobody's drunk.
Nobody's even
drinking there.

You got your calendars
mixed up, Sister.
No, I didn't.

It is their
independence day.
July the 14th.

What went wrong?

It is the train you blew up.

It put them on the alert.

To attack now would be suicide.

Surprise is impossible.

Wait a minute.

Without the element
of surprise, I will never
attack superior forces.

Instead of giving up so easy,
why don't you just
listen a minute?

I am listening to you,

but I have my mind
on my men. All you have
on yours is money.

All right, listen.
I think I know how
we can get a surprise.

Three streets from here,
there's a house.

It used to be
the residence
of the bishop.

To protect him
in the rainy season,
there was a tunnel.

It led from the house
to the garrison when it
used to be a monastery.

And after the bishop moved,
the monks built a wall
closing it up.

I think you can break through.

Who lives in there now?

Very good friends of mine.

Trustworthy?

Yes. Very trustworthy.

Good. Then I got
something that'll work.

What?

Fire.

Hey, when you were giving
those Spanish lessons,

did you ever get a peek
at where they kept
the garrison money?

They used to pay me
from a strongbox in
the general's office,

second floor,
in that building
right over there.

HOGAN: Yeah, was it
iron or wood?

SARA: Iron.
Great.

That means it won't burn.

Now, I figure we separate
your men into four groups,

giving 'em coal oil and dynamite

and let the first group
hit that main gate.

Have the second group
go through that tunnel
she's talking about

and bust in the courtyard.

And the third group
hit that gate over there.

And the fourth group,

the fourth group made up
of your best riflemen,
we'll have right up here.

They can pick off the sentries
and set fire to the top
of the garrison.

Of course this all
has to happen
at the same time.

First we shall wait
for the cover of night.

All right.

And second,

some women and children
carrying a piñata
filled with dynamite

might get close enough
to that front gate.

What's a piñata?

It's an old Mexican way
of livening up a party.

[WHISPERING]
Come, come.

[DOOR OPENS]

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

Sarita, baby!

[BOTH EXCLAIMING]

WOMAN: You're safe!
They didn't get you!

They didn't get
my favorite girl!
No!

Sister Sara,
this here's a cathouse.

Oh, no, Hogan.

This is no cathouse.

This is the best
whorehouse in town.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Day and night, night and day,
out there in that desert,

you made a sucker out of me.

I didn't want to.
You forced me to.

What the hell
are you talking about,
I forced you to?

What's the first thing
you said to me when
we saw the cavalry?

You said if I wasn't a nun,
you'd let me save
my own bacon.

And then after I told you
about the garrison,

you said if I wasn't a nun,
you'd just as soon say
adiós and thank you.

Well, I wanted
to be with you.
I wanted to be safe.

I tried
to tell you that night
at Beltran's camp,

but you were
too damn busy
to listen.

Well, what are you
looking so surprised about,
you no-good atheist? Move.

It could be, you know,
I saved your bacon again.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[HAMMERING]

Hogan.
The piñata.

Got the coal oil?
Yes.

All right, have them
put this thing

against the building
outside the gate.

How long a fuse
are you putting in?

Approximately 30 seconds.
That'll give 'em enough time
to get on down the street.

They are going to be women
and children, remember.

Any longer fuse might be seen.

Just don't make
the children too young
or the women too old.

And tell them not to trip.

Now you fill the jar
with candies and nuts,

just like we do
at the birthday party.

[MEN SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

[SQUAWKING]

Hogan, the tunnel is open.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

My men will have them free.

[ASKING QUESTION
IN SPANISH]

[ANSWERING IN SPANISH]

[GRUNTING]
I can't budge it.

If we use dynamite,
the element of
surprise is gone.

They'd have to open
the trap door if they
had another prisoner.

The French want me very badly.

Why don't you turn me over
and ask for a reward?

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Even though they
don't put you in here,

it will get Hogan
inside the gate.

It is a chance
to open this door.

I don't like it.

We'll find another way.
What other way?

I don't know.
Let me think about it.

There's no time
to think about it.

I still don't like it.

We have to get that
trap door open, too,
don't we?

You know what you're
talking about's crazy, Sara.

Listen, Hogan,
everybody's got a right
to be a sucker once.

How can we be sure
we hit 'em from
different directions

all at the same time?

I will put a man
in the belfry
of the church.

As soon as
he sees you and Sara
entering the garrison,

he will ring the bells
three times.

The women with the piñata
will start up the street
at a slow walk.

So from the time
you enter the gate
and the bells ring,

it will be four minutes
till the explosion.

Slow 'em up.
Make it six.

Bien. Six.

All right, let's go
give a Spanish lesson.

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

HOGAN: Hold it.

I don't know how
this is gonna come out,
but I owe this to myself.

We better go.

Bad time for a war.

Bad time.

[DOG BARKING]

Anybody in there speak English?

MAN: Oui, monsieur.

What is it you wish here?

Well, I have
something out here
I think will interest you.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

Oui, monsieur?

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[INVITING IN FRENCH]

Come on, you little cottontail.

[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

The General himself
will want to meet you.

Un moment.

Oh, Captain, wait just a minute.

Now, I've just
about had a bellyful
of this little Juarista.

She's been yapping at me
for three days now.

If your general
wants to socialize,
that's up to him.

But I'd just sooner
have her locked up
while I'm talking to him.

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[MAN SPEAKING FRENCH]

[TOLLING]

They're gonna place
that piñata right outside.

When I give you the signal,
you get ready to move.

Boy, this little cottontail
sure does wish she had that
cross back.

[MAN SPEAKING FRENCH]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[MAN SPEAKING IN FRENCH]

[LAUGHING]

Excuse me, monsieur,

but I'm certainly
not laughing at you,

but at this costume.

Come to think of it,
we shall have to shoot you
dressed like that.

Well, General, now, I understand

that raising money
for the Mexican army
is a crime.

So is shooting a lieutenant.

Did that bastard die?

Yes, the lieutenant died,

and you will, too.

Monsieur,
I am General Le Claire.

Well, my name's
Hamilton, General.

Tex, to my friends.

How do you do, monsieur?

How come you caught
this little pigeon
for us, eh?

Well, you see, I have
this spread up north,

and in rides this nun...

[DOOR OPENS]

[WOMEN SINGING IN SPANISH]

And when I heard that,
I said to myself,

"Tex, you just gotta
haul her on down here
and turn her in."

You know, I hate
them damn Juaristas.

Do nothing but cause me
trouble all the time.

Why, they got my Mexes
laying around just praying
for independence.

And you didn't know
we had posted a reward?

A reward?

Two hundred gold francs.

Well, how about that.

Certainly better
than a stab in the eye
with a sharp stick.

Well, why don't you just
go ahead and lock her up
and then send me on my way?

Lock her up?
Oh, no, no, monsieur.

Condemned prisoners
are entitled to a last
night of relaxation.

Wine or cognac, Sara?

Cognac.
A full glass, please.

Anything my sweet-tempered
little pigeon desires.

Colonel, please,
bring 200 francs.

[SOLDIER SPEAKING FRENCH]

Monsieur Hamilton...
Tex?

Well, make mine smaller
than the one you poured her.

I'm just a country boy.

None of us can
keep pace with Sara

in cognac or any other way.

To your virtues,
and especially
your vices, Sara.

Ah, what a pity
to bury them both.

[WOMEN SINGING IN SPANISH]

Excuse me, Monsieur Hamilton.

A people who know
how to sing,
the Mexicans.

Are you familiar
with that melody,
monsieur?

Can't say that I am.

Las Mañanitas.

For birthdays and weddings
and whatnot. Lovely.

[SINGING CONTINUES]

[SINGING]

My, how touching.

They know it is
our independence day and
they've come to toast us.

Do you know what
a piñata is, monsieur?

Can't say that I do.

Come and see.
A charming invention.

They build a figure,
usually of an animal,
made of papier-mâché,

with a clay jar hidden
in the center of the body.

They fill the jar
with candies, nuts
and fruits and small toys.

And then they suspend it
from the limb of a tree.

Now, that's real cute.

[FOOTSTEPS RUNNING]

[WOMAN WHOOPING]

[GUN FIRING]

Viva México!

[BLOWING]

ALL: Viva México!

[MEN SHOUTING]

Come on.

[GUNS FIRING]

Over here.

Get back to the house
and pour yourself
another [GROANS] cognac.

[TRUMPET BLOWING]

[EXCLAIMING]

[ALL SCREAM]

[SCREAMING]

[GRUNTS]

[GUNS FIRING]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[GUNS FIRING]

[YELLING]

[GUNS FIRING]

[HORSE NEIGHING]

[EXPLOSIONS]

[MAN SCREAMING]

[ALL SHOUTING]

[SCREAMING]

[YELLS]

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

[ALL YELLING]

[SCREAMING]

Viva Juarez!
Viva Mexico!

Where's Sara?

Last door.
Hall left. My room.

[JIGGLES DOORKNOB]

Sara, open up.

SARA: I'm taking a bath.

Well, get out of the bath.

Will you go away
and come back later?

I wanna be
all dressed up for you.

Who the hell
wants to see
you dressed?

[GRUNTS]

The least you can do
is take off your hat.

I haven't got time for that.

[SPLASHING]

Come on.