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00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,120
- Chee-hoo!
2
00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:07,600
- Oof!
3
00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,880
- Shame!
4
00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,336
- All right?
5
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,360
- Whee!
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00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,360
- Say cheese.
- Cheese.
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00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:43,336
- Kia or a koutou katoa, and
welcome to Taskmaster New Zealand.
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00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:46,856
For those of you who don't know
who I am, I'm Jeremy Wells,
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00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:51,176
and as a young man, I spent my time
roaming the countryside of New Zealand,
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00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,456
pointing at people and giving them
points from one to five.
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00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,336
At the time, it was considered
obnoxious and rude,
12
00:00:58,360 --> 00:01:03,640
but now I have found my calling,
because I... am the Taskmaster.
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00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,976
A wee while ago, I asked five of New
Zealand's most available comedians...
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...to complete a series of tasks in
front of a professional camera crew.
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00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:24,080
Tonight, we're going to review the footage to see how
our comedians went, and who deserves to win this...
16
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:33,040
...trophy we found at an op-shop that happens to be
the exact same size, shape and weight of my head.
17
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,496
Joining us to compete for this
incredible op-shop find,
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00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:40,720
we have Bubbah!
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00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,856
Dai Henwood!
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00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,656
Karen O'Leary!
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00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,456
Mel Brace well!
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00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,160
And Ray O'Leary!
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00:01:53,360 --> 00:02:00,736
As always, by my side, here's a man who needs
some introduction, but he will not get it from me.
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00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,360
It's Paul Williams!
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00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,816
Paul, introduce yourself, would you?
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00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,496
Hello.
27
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,336
My name is Paul.
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00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,736
Um, m-my favourite food is cookies,
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00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:18,760
and I have two terrible secrets
that I'll never tell anyone.
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00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,496
- So, Paul, tell us about
our prize task tonight.
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- Tonight, our contestants have brought
in their most braggable-about items,
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00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:36,696
and the overall winner of tonight's episode
will take home all five braggable items.
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00:02:36,720 --> 00:02:39,200
- OK. Well, let's get started.
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00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:40,737
Bubbah.
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Do you know my origin story?
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- No. Please, tell.
- Well, obviously, I was trying to do comedy in the city.
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00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:53,856
Um, wasn't working, cos all of my
audiences were white, and there's―
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00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,296
there's nothing wrong with that ―
it just was like,
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00:02:56,320 --> 00:02:59,856
'Where's my family and my cousins,
and where's our seats over here?'
40
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:04,816
And so, then what I did was, I did these
backyard shows for Maori and Polynesian people,
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00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:09,136
and it was for free, and it
became a thing in South Auckland.
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00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:14,296
And so then, for the first time, I
got invited to do my first solo show
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which I took some South Auckland kids with
me to do, which is this photo over here...
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00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:28,856
So, my most braggable-about item is that flag
that's on my shoulder, so I've brought it in today.
45
00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,776
Oh, it's been through the wringer
though, cos...
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00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:38,296
...no, cos, um... I took it with me to parties,
the parades, my dog wears it sometimes,
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00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:43,176
so I've got a new flag up the top
for you to make new memories.
48
00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:47,016
Hard to beat. Hard to beat.
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00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:52,096
- So, do you find yourself bragging
about this particular flag?
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00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:54,400
- Only if I'm asked about it.
51
00:03:57,240 --> 00:03:59,240
- Mel.
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00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:02,680
Do you know my origin story?
53
00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:07,856
- I do actually know your origin story. It
involves cricket, a whole lot of Bracewells...
54
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,776
- So, you're on the money there.
55
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:17,336
There was an ODI last year where the Blackcaps
versed Ireland, and we almost lost, but we didn't,
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00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:22,536
because of Michael Brace well. They had to get 20 points... points!
- Runs?
57
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,856
- Runs. It's runs...
- Sea― Going seamlessly.
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00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:28,336
Yeah, runs.
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00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:35,776
- To get 20 runs in the last over, Michael
smacked a four, another four, a six, another four,
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00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:40,696
and another six to win the game and
save our nation from embarrassment.
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00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,120
Yeah!
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And so I have brought
his sweaty jersey from that game.
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00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,936
- Yaaay!
- Another good prize.
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00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:58,936
- So, I just need to be clear on this ― your most
braggable item is one of your relatives' shirts
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00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,696
that he did something in.
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00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:02,720
Yeah.
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00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,536
- Dai, what did you bring in?
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00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:07,096
- I'm a...
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00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,216
deep fan...
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00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,240
of the Warriors.
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00:05:12,280 --> 00:05:14,280
And I was gifted this ―
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00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:24,896
This is Stacey Jones, the little
general, limited edition craft beer
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00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:29,200
- from a very boutique brewery.
- Oh, yes.
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00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:34,856
Do you think there'll ever be an occasion where
you're likely to crack open that Stacey Jones beer?
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00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:39,560
No, never. I actually
hold it during games.
76
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:44,856
It's a good luck charm
which isn't really working.
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00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:46,856
- Ray, what's your most
braggable item?
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00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,376
- We're talking about bragging
in New Zealand.
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00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,800
I've brought in a tall poppy.
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00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:04,816
It also represents respecting the troops, you
know, which I try to do in every facet of my life.
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00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:08,376
Like, my flat wall is covered
in nothing but poppies,
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00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:11,616
my garden grows nothing
but poppies...
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00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,840
I'm addicted to opium...
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00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:19,520
- Where did you get this particular poppy from?
- The Warehouse.
85
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,217
- Karen.
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00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:27,896
- It seems like a lot of these prizes, no one
really had anything to do with their creation,
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00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:34,120
whereas my braggable item is this
assignment that I did when I was in Form 1.
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00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,016
- Aw, that's cute!
- So not―
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00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:42,016
- Yeah. So― And also, if you go
to the next one, I've got, um...
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00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:45,016
Mel's uncle's in there. Where's the Brace well? Up there.
- Oh, yeah.
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00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:50,056
- So there's Mel's uncle. And lastly, but not
least-ly, I got a pretty good mark for that one ―
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100%.
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00:06:55,960 --> 00:06:57,536
- Wow. Um, OK.
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00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,160
- Ray ― one.
- Oh.
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00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,776
That's just typical, really,
isn't it? Sad New Zealand behaviour,
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00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,000
tearing down a tall poppy.
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00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:10,696
- Two for you, Bubbah, with
your Samoan― - Are you kidding?
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00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,736
I wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for that.
99
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,536
- What, that flag?
- Yeah.
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00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,336
You think they'd let me on this set if I didn't
come with my flag down to Basement Theatre
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00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,976
and pull my own solo show off?
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00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:27,600
- That's quite terrifying.
- You get three points, then.
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00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:33,136
Mel and Karen, three points each for
your cricket-related braggable item,
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00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:37,560
and four points for Dai Henwood's
Stacey Jones beer!
105
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:44,616
That means it must be time
for our first proper task.
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00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,656
- Previously on Taskmaster, all our
contestants got married, remember?
107
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,256
- I do.
- Good.
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00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,520
Because otherwise, this next task
won't make as much sense.
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00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:05,416
- Hello, Bubbah.
- Hello.
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00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:10,416
- Hello. Ooh, the wind is quite...
- Marilyn Monroe-ing you.
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00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:12,576
- This looks vaguely familiar.
112
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:14,600
Oh, no.
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00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,456
She's not happy to see me, is she?
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00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,336
- Look at the happy couple!
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00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:23,560
- Aw, it's our wedding day!
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00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:28,416
- Hello, Mel's hand, by the way. Sorry, that was rude of me.
- Hello.
117
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,536
- Hello.
- Are they part of it?
118
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:32,560
- The ecosystem? Yes.
119
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,296
'Break up your marriage.
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00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:37,920
'The messiest break-up wins.'
121
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,776
- Oh, no.
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00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,216
'You have 30 minutes.
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00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,976
- 'Your time starts now.'
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00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:46,056
But I already had a break-up
in the marriage.
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00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,256
- How can you do this to me?
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00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,136
- I'll tell you what, my first
thought that comes to mind ―
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00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,736
take her down to the pond
and dump her in.
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00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,840
- OK, let's keep it simple,
cos I got wet last time.
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00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:01,216
- A lot of people like to
end relationships amicably.
130
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,440
I think that is for losers.
131
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,016
- Can you think of a word
that rhymes with 'want'?
132
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:08,640
- Bouffant?
- Bouffant. Great.
133
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,360
What rhymes with hell?
- Gel.
134
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:14,520
Sometimes need gel to get a bouffant.
- Genius.
135
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,496
- So, Bubbah married herself,
136
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:25,600
Dai Henwood married Shush an a,
who was a bag of golf clubs...
137
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,736
- Karen married her real-life
partner, Eilish,
138
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:32,776
Mel married her hand...
139
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:35,880
and Ray married a mannequin named...
140
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,360
- Fenella.
- ...Fenella.
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00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:42,776
- All right, Paul, hit me. I'm ready for
some good old-fashioned television drama.
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00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,000
- Up first, Karen O'Leary.
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00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,696
- Eilish ―
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00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:51,056
'Despite us getting
married today,
145
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:54,856
'I have something
that I need to say.
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00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:57,216
'Despite you being all that I want,
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00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,736
'you now remind me
of Comic Sans font.
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00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,656
'You no longer make
my hair feel bouffant.
149
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:06,296
'Yes, you are hot and sexy as hell.
150
00:10:06,320 --> 00:10:09,256
'We no longer fit. We no longer gel.
151
00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,480
'He really is
the most marvellous man.
152
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,536
'Never thought I could be straight,
153
00:10:14,560 --> 00:10:17,376
'But now... yes, I can.
154
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:19,400
'It's Paul.'
155
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,016
Now I gotta email it.
156
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,456
Can you airdrop it to me?
157
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:35,176
- You've got one minute and 14 seconds.
- Yeah, can you airdrop it to me?
158
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,200
- 30 seconds.
159
00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,256
- Send.
160
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,280
Send!
161
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:43,840
- Show me your phone.
162
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:47,440
- It's the case.
- Show me the screen.
163
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:53,456
It says sending. It looks like it's definitely still uploading.
- No, done. See, look.
164
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:55,936
It's not uploading.
I don't know what you're looking at.
165
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,696
- My issue is it hadn't sent by the
time― - My issue is your internet.
166
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,576
- My issue is your attitude.
167
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,336
Do you think the Taskmaster
will accept that?
168
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:06,376
- My attitude?
- No, that it had sent.
169
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,416
- We've both made a couple
of errors.
170
00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,976
Yours was more major.
171
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,536
- What was your error?
172
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:14,840
- Breaking up with Eilish
to be with you.
173
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:24,096
- OK, the problem is that
even at the end of your break-up,
174
00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:28,560
Eilish didn't even know that you'd broken
up with her, because― - So ha-ha, sucker.
175
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:32,056
- It sent after the time.
176
00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:35,616
And you could argue that Karen
had stopped the task at that point,
177
00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:38,016
cos it was just
the internet going, really.
178
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:40,736
- We'll score it later.
- Yeah, you don't know what these guys have done yet.
179
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,536
I know.
180
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:46,176
To the audience at home,
I'm sorry, but I need some space.
181
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:49,200
A couple of minutes should do it.
We'll see you soon after these ads.
182
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,496
- Nau mai hoki mai,
welcome back to Taskmaster ―
183
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:08,400
hands-down the best show
in this time slot on this channel.
184
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:12,216
Paul, fill us in with what's happening, please.
- It would be my pleasure, Jeremy.
185
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,256
Our five comedians are about
to attempt something
186
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:18,896
that thousands of New Zealanders
successfully complete every year ―
187
00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:20,776
getting a divorce.
188
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:24,400
Next up, we have Dai
and his wife, Shush an a.
189
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:27,856
- Hey, babe. How are you going?
190
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:31,456
Come and check out
this seat for sunbathing.
191
00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:35,360
Oh, Shush an a,
I know we've been married for...
192
00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:39,136
days.
It feels like weeks, to be honest.
193
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:45,056
And we went on that camping trip with my
brother, and you snuck in to the wrong tent.
194
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,176
I know it was my brother's.
195
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:51,456
He's always had a thing
for golf bags and tennis balls.
196
00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:58,336
I think it's only fair to you if we have a break
from things while I go and have some time to myself.
197
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:03,336
I think you're gonna be over the
moon without me, so see you later.
198
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,360
Sucker.
199
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:12,880
I think it's time to break up,
Shush an a.
200
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,960
Oh, she can see me.
201
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:33,496
- So, Dai, in order to break up your
relationship, you went straight to murder?
202
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,016
- Well...
203
00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:37,320
I feel you made a jump there.
204
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:41,296
So, I broke up with her while
she was sunbathing, then...
205
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,376
...then she slipped off her...
206
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:47,696
...her seat, Your Honour. And...
207
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,656
- All right, Paul, let's see another
marriage dissolution, shall we?
208
00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:54,696
- Cutting ties with her own hand,
it's Melanie Brace well.
209
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,496
- 'I'm so glad we patched up
our differences.'
210
00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,616
Yeah, it is nice, isn't it?
211
00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,576
'And I got that great
life insurance policy.'
212
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,417
Yeah.
213
00:14:03,441 --> 00:14:05,576
'It's nice and secluded
around here.'
214
00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:06,896
Yeah.
215
00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,680
Very secluded.
216
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,416
Die, you cheating bastard!
217
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,216
- No, no!
218
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,360
- Yes.
219
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,496
- Die!
220
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,520
Die!
221
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,920
You're going down.
222
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,200
Relationships, huh?
223
00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,240
Oh.
224
00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,960
- Oh, amazing.
225
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:59,176
- That was intense. I couldn't help but notice
your blood is particularly thick and verystringy.
226
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,200
Thank you.
227
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:06,456
I did get quite violent,
but it was 'messiest break-up wins, '
228
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,680
and so I felt like
there had to be blood.
229
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,256
- I'm ready for another messy break-up if you are.
- Absolutely.
230
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,896
His bride-to-be already got
dismembered by his best man.
231
00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:23,776
He's hoping to get 'custardy, ' but enough about
what he wants for dessert ― it's Ray O'Leary.
232
00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,536
- Oh, boy. I sure, um...
enjoy engaging in...
233
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:30,560
extramarital affairs,
234
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:35,240
especially with my best man
from my wedding earlier.
235
00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,256
I'm so glad you don't mind that,
um... Paul
236
00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:42,096
is just watching in the corner.
237
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,856
I know adult male lion's roar
can be heard 8km away,
238
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:50,280
so I sure hope nobody heard
our extramarital affair.
239
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,936
- No, Fenella, it's not
what it looks like.
240
00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,616
Well, yeah, if you think I had
an extramarital affair with a lion,
241
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,216
then yes, it's exactly what it looks
like, you nailed it on the head.
242
00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:04,240
No, come back! Noooo!
243
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:06,936
My I-love!
244
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:09,160
Fenella, noooo!
245
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:14,480
Oh, why oh why did I have
an extramarital affair? Ohh.
246
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,936
- Mr O'Leary.
- Oh, no.
247
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:19,056
- This is a legal document
from Fenella.
248
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,856
- She left me
negative a million dollars?
249
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,880
Noooo!
250
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,976
I forgot when I married her,
she was dirt broke.
251
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:31,800
This sure was the messiest break-up
I've ever seen, nooo!
252
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:37,160
And this is why you don't have
extramarital affairs, kids.
253
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,856
- How did Fenella get
$1 million in debt, exactly?
254
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:51,160
- Oh, she's got
a huge gambling problem.
255
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:56,640
- The lion genuinely looked like
it had had a lot of pleasure.
256
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,680
W-What else would you expect?
257
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,880
Ray's rolling in pussy.
258
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:14,136
- All right, we've got one messy break-up to go,
and I have a sneaking suspicion I know who it is.
259
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:18,736
Yes. Breaking up with herself,
it's Bubbah.
260
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:20,296
OK, bye!
261
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,320
Oh, I forgot my lunch.
262
00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,296
We can't―
we can't keep doing this.
263
00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:27,336
- Head up, girl.
Don't worry about it.
264
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,360
- It feels wrong.
265
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,360
Why does it feel so right?
266
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,760
You're so ing right.
267
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:40,496
- What the?
- What are you doing?
268
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,336
- Oh, shit!
269
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,560
- No!
- Bubbah, you can explain!
270
00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,440
- Noooo!
271
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,880
You crazy bitch!
272
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,656
We'll be OK.
273
00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,736
- I was thinking of you
the whole time, I swear.
274
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,760
- Yeah, I would say that.
275
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,176
- Mummy, what's happening?
- You weren't supposed to see this.
276
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,536
I'm so sorry.
277
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:13,240
This is the messiest break-up
I've ever had.
278
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,080
- Oh.
- Wow. OK.
279
00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:28,000
So, you cheated on yourself with
yourself, and then gave birth to yourself.
280
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,000
- In one day.
- Whoa.
281
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:34,776
Did you ever consider the problems
around inbreeding?
282
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:39,256
Because obviously, you know, having
a baby with yourself is one thing,
283
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:43,056
and then what's gonna happen
with your baby's baby's baby?
284
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,960
Just, like, keep it in the family.
285
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,616
- OK, I think we should
score this one.
286
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:54,576
Karen, one point, because you failed
to send, so that never even finished.
287
00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:58,976
Dai, I'm not even sure Shush an a was even dead there at
the end. You were worried that she was looking at you.
288
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,576
So, two points for you, Dai.
289
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:04,736
Mel, that was a pretty messy break-up
in terms of blood. You get three points.
290
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:10,736
Ray ― shockingly messy. Anytime bestiality is
involved in something, it generally causes problems.
291
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,480
But I've gotta say, Bubbah,
five points for you.
292
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:16,720
- Yeah-yah.
293
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,776
- That was next-level.
294
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:22,616
After that harrowing emotional experience,
how are the scores looking, Paul?
295
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:27,480
- In last place on four, it's Karen,
and out in front with eight, it's Bubbah!
296
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,856
- Now it's time for an ad break, so why don't
you look at the person next to you on the couch
297
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:39,360
and decide if it's time for a messy
break-up of your own? We'll see you soon.
298
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,536
- Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five
comedians are putting everything on the line
299
00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,656
for an unlaundered cricket shirt.
300
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,336
What's our next task, Paul?
301
00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:03,040
- It's a team task, Jeremy,
and this one's 'a-maze-ing'.
302
00:20:03,360 --> 00:20:04,816
- Is it about a maze?
303
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:06,840
- Yeah.
304
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,856
Let's go, gang.
305
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,496
- Yeah, we gotta walk with purpose.
- We gotta... - Yeah-yah.
306
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:21,800
- Oh, there's like a little maze!
- Hey, Mel. Hey, Ray. - Hi, Paul.
307
00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:26,336
- Ow.
- Yeah ― Ooh, you can get a horrendous paper cut doing that.
308
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:30,096
'Control a blindfolded teammate through
the maze without touching the rope.
309
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:33,016
- 'You may not repeat any words
in your directions.
310
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:35,616
'Only the blindfolded teammate
may enter the maze.
311
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,176
- 'You cannot remove the blindfold.
312
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,136
'If you touch the rope
or repeat a word,
313
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:45,016
'the blindfolded teammate must
return to the start of the maze.
314
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,896
- 'Fastest maze completion wins.'
315
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,256
- I've got an idea.
I think I could possibly guide you.
316
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,576
- You reckon― OK, all right.
317
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,576
- If it starts with R, it's right...
- You turn left, and if it's a food, you turn―
318
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,816
- ...if it starts with I, it's left.
That's gotta― - OK, that's easier.
319
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,176
And an 'F' word for forward.
320
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,336
- So, are you quite keen to wear the blindfold?
- Oh yeah, great.
321
00:20:58,360 --> 00:20:59,456
- Yeah, I can wear the blindfold.
- Yeah.
322
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,816
Go tell me now.
323
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:02,616
- Fast.
- What?
324
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,456
- That's just a― it's a word that
starts with F, so you go forwards.
325
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,480
- Oh, shit. Oh.
- Yeah.
326
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:12,160
I've already failed.
327
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,336
- So, Bubbah, you came up with
what seemed like a great system...
328
00:21:16,360 --> 00:21:18,336
- Yeah.
- ...and then immediately forgot it straight away.
329
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:22,120
You over think, oi. You laugh,
but when you're in there...
330
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,576
- OK, so who's tackling
the maze first?
331
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:30,616
- It's the three 'maze-keteers' ―
Bubbah, Dai and Karen.
332
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,136
- OK, so 'S' word―
- All starting with an S.
333
00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,336
- ...is slow?
- Yep.
334
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:37,936
- 'F' word is forward,
'R' word is right, 'L' word is left.
335
00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,056
OK. - Feijoa.
- Ooh, sorry.
336
00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,056
- So, tell me when I need to go.
- Stop! - Lamington.
337
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,496
Um, facts. Fig. Fencing.
- Don't run out of 'F' words. - Tiny―
338
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,736
Tiny lupin. Just a tiny lupin.
- You've repeated that word quite a few times.
339
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,456
Dai, back to the start, please.
340
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,816
- Three, four... - Looking good, Dai.
- Lichen. No, no―
341
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,920
- Racist.
- Yeah― oh, racist. Racist.
342
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:02,120
Serendipity.
343
00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:04,200
- Oh, yeah, boy.
344
00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,616
- Feijoa.
- Back to the start, please.
345
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,176
- Why?
- A word was repeated.
346
00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,016
- Which one?
- It was 'feijoa.'
347
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,440
Sorry.
348
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:16,216
- What about ― if it's a food, I go left...
- Yep.
349
00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,496
- ...if it's a drink, I go right.
350
00:22:18,520 --> 00:22:20,496
- Avocado.
351
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,016
Tea.
- A little bit Heineken.
352
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:23,096
- Little's been said.
- What?
353
00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,256
- This task isn't very fun.
354
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,776
Actually, how about ― food or
drink for left, any other word for right.
355
00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,320
- Got it.
Fish pie.
356
00:22:32,320 --> 00:22:34,320
- Rolex.
357
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:36,760
Waistcoat.
358
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,576
- 360 umbrella.
359
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,496
- 360?
360
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,600
Sorry!
361
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:44,896
Oh, sh...
- Phone!
362
00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:46,736
Phone. Phone.
- Oh, sh... Oh, sh...
363
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,256
Oh, in' hell.
364
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:50,536
Oh, I felt like we were
doing so well.
365
00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:52,696
- If you're too close to the rope,
I'll say a sports word.
366
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:54,096
- Yeah.
- Ah, yup.
367
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:55,816
- Cricket.
368
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:58,296
Cricket. Oh, in' hell.
369
00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,336
- That was a sports word. You were close to the rope.
- Oh, yeah, I sup― Oh, God.
370
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:03,816
- It's also an insect.
- Shut up, Paul.
371
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:05,840
- Chewing gum.
372
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,120
Chewing gum.
373
00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:14,096
- If you would like to swap
the blindfolded person, you may.
374
00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:15,416
- I'm gonna get this, guys.
375
00:23:15,440 --> 00:23:19,856
- Well, the task doesn't say we can't crawl, cos I
reckon you could crawl without touching the rope.
376
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:22,440
You'd have to be quite an army crawl,
I reckon.
377
00:23:24,120 --> 00:23:26,176
- You're touching a pole,
but not the rope.
378
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,200
- Oh, yeah, boy!
379
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,096
Iguana.
380
00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:33,720
- Iguana. Oh my God.
- Oh, so close!
381
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,040
- I forgot how fun mazes are.
382
00:23:37,200 --> 00:23:39,176
- Fo' shizzle.
383
00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:40,936
- Righteous.
384
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:42,960
- Antelope.
385
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,080
C-section.
386
00:23:46,320 --> 00:23:47,856
Enemies.
387
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:49,456
Mechanic.
388
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,480
- Xylophone.
389
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,376
- You've completed the maze.
- Yeah, boy!
390
00:23:56,400 --> 00:24:00,000
- That was amazing, Karen.
You did amazing.
391
00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:07,096
- So, did any of you guys regret agreeing to
do the show while you were filming that task?
392
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:14,136
- This is definitely the closest I came to
the edge, but we didn't lose it at each other,
393
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,776
and I thought, as a team, we actually worked very well.
- Mm.
394
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,680
We just hated the task and the show.
395
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:25,736
- How many times did they have to start again?
- So, they restarted 16 times,
396
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,280
and their total time was
40 minutes and nine seconds.
397
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,576
- This task seems nearly impossible.
398
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,776
I'll be interested to see if it's
because the task is actually difficult,
399
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:39,656
or if the first team is just
really bad at mazes.
400
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,776
- Let's find out.
It's the other team ―
401
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,200
Everybody Loves 'Ray-Mel.'
402
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:49,096
- I'm gonna make my words quite
long, so I might just go like
403
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:53,776
'banaaaaanaaa.'
Oh, I see. I see, I see.
404
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:55,800
- You ready?
- Um...
405
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,776
- Does your nose not fit in the mask?
- Is my nose coming out?
406
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:02,896
- Is that better?
- Oh, there we go.
407
00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:07,696
- Moooooo...
408
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:09,136
...oove!
409
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:10,416
Turn.
410
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:14,776
Baaaaaa...
411
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:15,657
...aaa!
412
00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:18,616
Slooowwww...
413
00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:19,297
Stop.
414
00:25:19,321 --> 00:25:21,320
Hay bale.
415
00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,416
- I used to bale hay
when I was but a boy.
416
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:30,336
- O'Learyyyyy...
417
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:31,137
...yy!
418
00:25:31,161 --> 00:25:32,456
- I feel like we're nailing this.
419
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,456
- Ha a a a...
420
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,840
...nnn...
421
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,040
...Nando's...
422
00:25:38,360 --> 00:25:42,016
- What was that?
- I think she said 'hando.'
423
00:25:42,040 --> 00:25:44,120
Www...
424
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,736
...www...whoa!!!
- What way does it...?
425
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,760
Straw heap.
426
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,776
- OK, so what do I― - Around.
- Around, OK.
427
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,176
- Belll...
428
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,057
...lt!
429
00:25:55,081 --> 00:25:57,616
Buttonnnnn...
430
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:01,016
...nnn...
- Are you just describing things on my body right now?
431
00:26:01,040 --> 00:26:03,960
Did you look at me
and think 'Nando's?'
432
00:26:04,760 --> 00:26:08,120
Haiiirpie...
433
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,856
...eee...
- You do sound a bit like Wall-E.
434
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:14,496
- ...eee...!
- And Eve.
435
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,256
Oh, wait, this is good.
436
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:19,160
This is good. Did we― Did we do― Oh!
437
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,336
- Well done. Although, I've gotta say, Ray, how
about the little T-Rex hands that you had going on?
438
00:26:30,360 --> 00:26:35,216
- What are you talking― - I have
since had nightmares of this ―
439
00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,616
- How did that make you feel,
you guys, watching that?
440
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,040
- Mel has the mind of a genius.
441
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,616
It's like Mel runs a school
for, um...
442
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,056
- Rays.
- ...people― for people who...
443
00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,480
- It felt like I was out
with my caregiver.
444
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,360
- That is what I was trying to say.
445
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,616
- Yeah. Let's talk about timings,
then.
446
00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:01,096
- OK, so the first team was 40 minutes and nine seconds.
- Yes.
447
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:03,120
- This team ― 40...
448
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,616
seconds and 10 minutes.
449
00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,520
Oh, right!
450
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,136
It was pretty good.
451
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,056
- I think probably Mel and Ray deserve five
points, cos that was pretty impressive.
452
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:15,080
OK.
453
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:22,000
- And Bubbah, Dai and Karen deserve
two points, cos that wasn't impressive.
454
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:29,160
Is that the end of the show, or do we have more tasks?
- Here's another task.
455
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,160
Hello, Mel.
- Hello.
456
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,496
- Oh, Paul, is it?
- Hello, Dai.
457
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:40,896
Hello, Karen.
- Hello.
458
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:46,440
- Hello, Paul. Glad you took my advice
and took all that black face makeup off.
459
00:27:47,560 --> 00:27:49,560
- Open it?
- Yes, please.
460
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,496
'Use this entire roll of
Sellotape in the most brilliant way.
461
00:27:58,520 --> 00:27:59,976
- 'You cannot waste any of it.
462
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:04,456
- 'Most brilliant use of the entire
roll of Sellotape wins.
463
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:06,480
- 'You have 20 minutes.'
464
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:08,896
- Wait.
465
00:28:08,920 --> 00:28:12,216
- Can you keep reading the task, please?
- I can't. I can't read.
466
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,920
- What?
- 'Your time starts now.'
467
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:25,600
- Whose unravelling are we gonna see first, Paul?
- What about Bubbah and Mel?
468
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,896
- Can I hang you?
469
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:28,897
Eh.
470
00:28:28,921 --> 00:28:31,816
- Hang me from the neck?
- Yeah, like― like put you on a spit.
471
00:28:31,840 --> 00:28:33,096
- Oh.
- Yeah.
472
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:36,816
- I'm thinking these noodles
will be quite brilliant.
473
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:38,456
Oh, shit!
474
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,560
I'm gonna be walking art.
475
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,296
- Hey, I think that'll hold you.
- Really? - Yeah.
476
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:47,936
- Is this feeling brilliant so far?
477
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,816
- It's hard to know
exactly what's going on.
478
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:52,840
- Hold that.
479
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,080
Pull!
480
00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:56,857
Yeah, that'll hold you.
481
00:28:56,881 --> 00:28:59,376
- It's this obsession to have
all these things.
482
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:01,136
And what do we really need them for?
483
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:02,896
- What if you wanna play golf?
484
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:05,720
- You can hire the golf clubs.
- OK.
485
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,880
- Shit.
486
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:11,296
That's finished!
487
00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:15,456
- The final moment is ― we're so
attached to our cell phones these days,
488
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,480
it might as well be
taped to our head.
489
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,760
I finished the tape.
490
00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,800
- So, what have you done here?
- I've made art. Inspired by...
491
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:28,936
Jesus.
492
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:35,816
- I've created a brilliant piece of art with
this tape about the dangers of capitalism, and...
493
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:39,896
- So, next time―
- Sorry, I've got a text.
494
00:29:39,920 --> 00:29:41,920
- OK, good luck.
495
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,680
Oh no!
496
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,240
You broke it!
497
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,280
- I'm gonna go now.
498
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:53,560
- Thank you, Mel.
499
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,976
- What were you thinking
with your creation, Bubbah?
500
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:11,976
Obviously, Mel's had a political message.
- Obviously.
501
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,896
I think mine was just abstract,
502
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:21,256
and just, like, if you looked at it and you thought,
'That reminds me of five points, ' that's up to you.
503
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:26,760
- What I need to know is what the
pink pirate hat had to do with Jesus.
504
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:28,920
- He was misunderstood.
505
00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:32,416
- Much like pink pirate hats?
- Yes, much like the pirate hat.
506
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,440
OK.
507
00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:39,416
It's time for an ad break, but make sure you
'stick' around for more Taskmaster after this.
508
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:42,560
We'll see you soon.
509
00:30:51,880 --> 00:30:54,616
- Welcome back to Taskmaster.
It's nice to have you with us.
510
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:57,896
Paul, can you bring us up to speed, please?
- We've seen our contestants
511
00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:03,336
make it to the end of a maze and to the end of a
marriage. Now they've reached the hardest end of all ―
512
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,336
the end of a roll of tape.
- Mm. Who are we gonna see next, Paul?
513
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:11,040
- Up next, I've stuck together
Dai and Karen.
514
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,496
- What do you think's brilliant,
Paul?
515
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,056
- What do you think is brilliant?
516
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:16,360
- Cricket.
517
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,936
- So, what is the type for?
518
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,136
- The tape's just to make
the cricket ball.
519
00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:29,736
- Have you noticed when you get an
apple, there's usually not much tape on it?
520
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,280
- I'd say almost no tape.
521
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,096
- This is looking really good.
522
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,936
Have you ever been, like,
on the bottom storey of a house?
523
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:43,856
How could I get an apple without stopping
to read my Mills & Boon book, right?
524
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,576
- Now, cos I've gotta use
the rest of the Sellotape,
525
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,696
I'll just make that a bail.
526
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:52,040
- Amazing what you come up with
in the heat of the moment, eh?
527
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:56,840
- You bat.
528
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:01,016
- Coriander.
529
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:03,856
Cilantro.
Some people say it tastes like soap.
530
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,536
I love the taste of soap.
531
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:10,216
Ah, Dan! Catch it!
532
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,656
My bat.
533
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:14,296
Oh-ho-ho-ho, here we go.
534
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,536
- Williams coming up to bowl now.
O'Leary's about to get a century.
535
00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:18,856
This could be it.
536
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:20,240
- Oh, sorry.
537
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,120
That provides exactly...
538
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,680
Wow.
539
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:31,480
- Ow!
540
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,936
You should appeal. That could have been an LB.
- Sorry.
541
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,440
- Appeal. - Sorry.
- No, no, no―
542
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,896
- Time check?
- Five minutes.
543
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:42,000
- If anything,
I've got too much time.
544
00:32:45,320 --> 00:32:47,256
You got me.
545
00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,880
Great game, Paul. Really good.
546
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:52,296
- That's the last piece of tape,
my man.
547
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:53,656
- Can you demonstrate it now?
548
00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:55,416
- You pop the tape roll in.
549
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,040
Then you drop this down to them.
550
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,256
See, it's perfectly
at hand height to grab.
551
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,776
- The amazing use
of that roll of Sellotape.
552
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,816
- So what was the use?
- Useless is what it was.
553
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:10,720
- Are you happy with that?
- Happy? I should be on Shark Tank with this.
554
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:22,976
- I'm not 100% sure what I saw there. Dai,
can you explain what was actually going on?
555
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,336
I like the fact that you thought it was
the obvious thing to do with Sellotape.
556
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:32,776
- So, you're sitting down there under the sun, reading
a bodice-ripping novel about a romantic affair,
557
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:38,616
and then you go, 'Ooh, I could go a crisp Royal
Gala apple, but I don't wanna leave my seat.'
558
00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:43,640
And then your partner tapes you down
a Gala apple, and you're like ―
559
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:50,536
- So, it's a Sellotape dumbwaiter?
- Yeah, Sellotape dumbwaiter. - OK.
560
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,056
Your cricket game was mildly...
561
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,856
disturbing. Did you use the
entire roll of Sellotape?
562
00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:02,336
- Yes. The whole entire roll of Sellotape
was utilised in my brilliant activity.
563
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:05,856
Made an amazing cricket ball out of a
tennis ball. Not many people can do that.
564
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,536
- Paul, what were you up to with your bowling? You were steaming in.
- Yeah.
565
00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:11,096
- And that length was atrocious.
566
00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:15,560
- And when you bowl, like, a toe-crusher,
it's not meant to crush thebowler'stoes.
567
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,016
- Four down, one to go, Paul.
Who's lucky last?
568
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:26,040
- Using up some Sell-o-tape,
it's Ray-O-Leary.
569
00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000
Oh, shit.
570
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:31,920
Can you please put that on?
571
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,936
Probably wanna put both those on.
- OK.
572
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:38,656
- I need to get some train tracks.
573
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,680
Look pretty.
574
00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,696
- Do my legs need any?
575
00:34:48,720 --> 00:34:51,176
- I didn't even
think about the legs.
576
00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,096
That's cos I'm not used to
kidnapping women. Are you?
577
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:56,376
- Um...
578
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:59,376
- Why would you say 'um'
and not immediately say 'no'?
579
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,720
OK, there we go. That's all the tape.
- Oh.
580
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,280
- We're gonna do, like, a short film, Paul.
- OK.
581
00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:10,616
Help!
582
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,896
- Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha.
I have ze― tied up ze lady.
583
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,920
Hon-hon-hon-hon-hon.
- Help. Ahh.
584
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,656
Ahh!
585
00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:25,496
Ray, there's a train coming towards me, and
it's being driven by a decapitated person.
586
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,520
Ray. Help me.
587
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,480
Ray?
588
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,736
You've got 2.5 minutes.
589
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:34,976
Yee howdy. Not to worry, milady.
590
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,536
Whoa, someone sure
Sellotaped you up good.
591
00:35:37,560 --> 00:35:41,736
- Quick, the train's...
- The train's coming.
592
00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:44,336
- Is it?
- Yeah, I'd be screaming if I was you.
593
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:49,096
- It seems like it's just parked up.
- No, it seems like that, but I'm sure special effects will fix it
594
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:51,440
to make it look like
it's coming real far.
595
00:35:56,240 --> 00:36:02,536
Wow, we― we did it. You sure must feel
grateful that I saved you from that Sellotape.
596
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:05,040
- You've still got 43 seconds.
597
00:36:05,720 --> 00:36:08,800
Do we― Do we kiss?
598
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:22,896
- So, can we talk about the kiss?
599
00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,256
- I felt like I'd created
a gripping, you know, Western,
600
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:30,016
and, you know, it needed that
satisfying romantic conclusion.
601
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:35,296
- Yeah, well, normally, I guess people do shake hands after a kiss.
- Did I―
602
00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,696
- That's the third kiss
I've had this season.
603
00:36:37,720 --> 00:36:41,320
Best. Season. Ever.
604
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:46,976
- OK. Karen, I think one point. What
you did there was a disservice to cricket.
605
00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,856
Both you and Paul should be
ashamed of yourselves. Oh, f...
606
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:54,136
- I still don't know what you were doing with
that dumbwaiter thing, whatever the hell that was,
607
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,336
so two points for you, Dai.
- OK.
608
00:36:56,360 --> 00:37:00,816
- Three points for your art, Mel, and
three points for Bubbah's art as well.
609
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:05,976
And I reckon four points for Ray
and your little film.
610
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,200
Love the kiss.
- Thank you.
611
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:15,776
- That's enough Sellotape. Now it's time to sell you
tape with some ads, assuming some of them are for tape.
612
00:37:15,800 --> 00:37:18,320
We'll be back soon,
so make sure ya stick around.
613
00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:35,816
- Welcome back to Taskmaster. The end is in
sight. We've just got time for one more live task,
614
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,776
but before we get to that ― Paul,
could we have a score update, please?
615
00:37:39,800 --> 00:37:44,416
- In first equal, they're both doubling
Karen's score ― it's Mel and Ray.
616
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:47,976
Team, team, team, team, team!
617
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:53,880
- All right, everyone, please head
to the stage for the final live task.
618
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:00,880
- Melanie Brace well,
please read this task.
619
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:04,536
'In your teams, deliver
the Taskmaster three compliments.
620
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:09,216
'Standing at your plinth, one at a time,
write an original compliment on an egg
621
00:38:09,240 --> 00:38:14,016
'and deliver it to the Taskmaster
with your remote control car.
622
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:18,320
'If you lose or break your egg,
you must start again.
623
00:38:18,360 --> 00:38:24,160
'First team to successfully deliver
their three compliments wins.'
624
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:27,296
- So, the team of three
will each deliver an egg.
625
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,016
The team of two ― one of you will need to do it twice.
- You got this, Ray.
626
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,016
- Drivers, are you ready?
627
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,040
Yes.
628
00:38:37,480 --> 00:38:43,816
- I have just realised I've already decided that Ray's
gonna do it twice and he does not have a license.
629
00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:45,840
- My learner's expired.
630
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:50,736
- Oh, he's got a comp―
he's good at writing!
631
00:38:50,760 --> 00:38:52,736
Be careful. Be careful.
- Oop, oop...
632
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:54,760
Oop, oop.
633
00:38:54,920 --> 00:38:56,920
Oh, yes, Ray! Yes, Ray!
634
00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:59,696
- Ray!
- Turn, turn!
635
00:38:59,720 --> 00:39:01,216
Ray!
636
00:39:01,240 --> 00:39:03,240
Ohh!
637
00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,920
- What does it say?
- It says, 'You have a good gait.'
638
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,376
It's OK.
639
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,600
- Yes, Mel!
- I'm so scared.
640
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:30,576
- Oh!
- Attempted sabotage from Karen.
641
00:39:30,600 --> 00:39:33,896
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa―
642
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:36,816
No, Mel!
643
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,520
Yes, yes, yes.
644
00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,840
- No!
- Stay straight, you!
645
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:49,176
- Oh no! Oh no, we're wasting―
- I did the same thing!
646
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:51,200
Yes! Yes!
647
00:39:57,920 --> 00:39:59,856
'You are...
648
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:01,880
handsome, for a man.'
649
00:40:06,520 --> 00:40:09,040
- Oh. Uh, a little back―
- BUBBAH: Bro, hurry up!
650
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,080
Oh!
651
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:22,976
- Ray, this is a race.
652
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:27,200
'You are hung like a gorilla'?
653
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,296
- And the other way a little bit,
other way a little bit. Back―
654
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:32,080
- Yeah?
- Yeah, and then forward boom-bah.
655
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:36,656
- That way― turn it that― Now that way. Forward,
forward. Yeah, forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
656
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,456
Oh my God, you're doing it!
657
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:43,680
Don't let it tip over!
That way!
658
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,296
'You look like
a pussy slayer.'
659
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,600
- Go. Try and get―
- Go, go, go, go, go, go.
660
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:53,376
- Go! Go, Mel!
661
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:56,600
Oh, Mel!
662
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:01,696
- Go, Mel! Turn! Turn! Turn!
- I'm trying!
663
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,720
- Turn, go, move!
664
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:12,160
'You're my favourite himbo'?
665
00:41:12,240 --> 00:41:15,696
- That is their third compliment.
- Well done, you guys.
666
00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:20,200
Come on down. We'll clean
this mess up, and we'll score it.
667
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,400
Please, sit on down.
668
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:27,160
We need to score that task.
669
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:31,136
What a shocking mess, you lot.
Goodness gracious.
670
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:35,256
Ray and Mel, I think you took so long
to do it and the driving was so appalling
671
00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,296
that I think you only deserve three.
- OK.
672
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:41,720
- And I think your team deserves two.
- Yep. Thank you.
673
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:47,000
- So, we have another tie.
Both on 17 points, Mel and Ray.
674
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:54,016
That means for the second time this season,
we're gonna have another tie breaker.
675
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,040
Here it is.
676
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,936
- Oh, no. This is long.
677
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:02,857
'Lie down.
678
00:42:02,881 --> 00:42:03,896
'Lie down.
679
00:42:03,920 --> 00:42:06,736
- 'You may only speak in English
for the duration of the task.
680
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,736
- 'You may not say the word
spaghetti more than once.
681
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:14,216
- 'If you wear any additional hats, your
points will be halved for each hat you put on.
682
00:42:14,240 --> 00:42:16,656
- 'If you go swimming,
you will be eliminated.
683
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:21,256
- 'If you bring any harm to native flora or fauna,
you must apologise to them before continuing.
684
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,936
- 'If you sit on a chair,
you will lose two points.
685
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,256
- 'You must not consume
any caffeine at any time,
686
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,656
'as that may affect your speed
and give you an unfair advantage.
687
00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:32,816
- 'You are allowed to hurt Paul's feelings,
but you aren't allowed to cross the line.
688
00:42:32,840 --> 00:42:35,656
- 'If you have any questions about
the task, you may ask them now.
689
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:38,616
- 'You must wear the clothes
you are wearing now at all times.
690
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,536
- 'Fastest to lie down wins'!
691
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,216
Oh, Jesus.
692
00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:44,840
I can't― I'm bad at reading.
693
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,136
'If you commit a crime
while attempting the task,
694
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,616
'you'll be tried by a court of law
and judged by a jury of your peers
695
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:53,496
'and will potentially
be sent to jail.'
696
00:42:53,520 --> 00:42:57,656
Not if the crime, I think, is worth
three years or less in prison, I believe.
697
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:02,016
In New Zealand, you don't get a jury
trial unless it's for a significant crime.
698
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:05,576
I believe that was a rule change by the Key government.
- OK.
699
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:08,896
- I used to work for the Department of Corrections.
- Oh, right.
700
00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:14,216
'If you have any questions about the task you
may ask them now. Fastest to lie down wins.
701
00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:16,120
'Your time started when you―' Oh.
702
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:22,560
Stop the clock.
703
00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:30,256
- So, I should say ― while the tasks were
different, exact same letter count in both of them.
704
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:33,736
- OK.
- Ray obviously did add a few letters.
705
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:39,960
Not only did I fact-check you,
but I went back, and I was wrong.
706
00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:45,376
- OK. Ray ― one minute 46.
707
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,400
Mel ― one minute...
708
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:53,216
- That's the end of the sentence.
- One minute.
709
00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,600
OK, congratulations, Mel.
710
00:43:55,720 --> 00:44:01,480
Get up on that stage and start bragging
about your braggable items. Congratulations.
711
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,800
Another successful episode down,
with...
712
00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,816
some less-than-successful
task attempts.
713
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:16,576
We learnt that 60% of Taskmaster
divorces end in murder.
714
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:24,000
Most importantly, we learnt that
Mel is the winner of episode six!
715
00:44:24,880 --> 00:44:27,760
Thank you so much for watching.
We'll see you next time.
716
00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:33,856
Captions by Rebecca Scholtz.
Edited by Sally Harper.
717
00:44:33,880 --> 00:44:35,856
- This is so long!
718
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:39,856
Captions were made with
the support of NZ On Air.
719
00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:42,960
www.able.co.nz
Copyright Able 2023
720
00:44:44,160 --> 00:44:45,256
Hey, Paul!
721
00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:48,136
- Really was one of the most
uncomfortable things
722
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:51,416
I've ever seen in my life.
723
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:52,896
- Name's Ray. Cool Ray.
724
00:44:52,920 --> 00:44:53,857
- Cool Ray?
725
00:44:53,881 --> 00:44:56,056
- These guys have been
calling me that backstage.
726
00:44:56,080 --> 00:44:58,720
Oh yeah, Paul, come on.
56062
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