All language subtitles for En.therapie.S01E25.1080p.BluRay.DD+5.1.x264-SbR_track4_[eng]

Hello. Come in.

Charlotte, how nice to see you.

- Thanks for seeing us, Esther.
- No problem.

- This is where you see your patients?
- Used to.

I no longer see patients,
except in exceptional cases.

You must be nice and comfy here.

What are you doing now?

Getting my thoughts in order.

Well, my notes.

Writing a book?

No, not really. I’m...

I’m trying to make notes
about what I’ve learned,

and also about new theories.
I’m finding stuff out.

Since Gaëtan died, I have almost
no passion or desire for anything.

I write.

Well, can we get started?

IN THERAPY

ESTHER – FRIDAY, DECEMBER 18, 2015, 3 P.M.

First I think it’s important
to establish the framework.

It’s a very unusual situation for me.

Gaëtan and I often voiced
our reservations about couples therapy.

I told you, the idea just popped up.
Charlotte suggested it.

I didn’t specifically ask to come here.

That’s how I understood it,
which is why I asked you.

- But I’d understand if...
- No, I’m fine with the contradiction.

Because it’s you two and it’s me.

There’s theory
and there’s the reality of bonds.

We’ve been friends a long time.

I’ll do my best
to help you through this difficult time.

Thanks, Esther. I’m touched.

We’ll talk today,

and perhaps meet another
two or three times, if necessary.

Then you’ll decide if you want to see
someone whose profession it really is,

or keep coming here.

You alone have the solution
to keeping your relationship going.

Whatever it might be.

I have no trick, all I can do
is facilitate dialogue between you.

So I suggest we get started.

Who wants to jump in?

What I can say is that I’m struggling.

I’m struggling to see how we can
carry on after what’s happened.

You know, Charlotte’s little escapade.

I realize that that word

may sound a little condescending, but...

I heard what Charlotte told me
when she got home.

Feeling that she’d made a mistake
on her first night in Rome.

I know she’s honest about that,
and I think it’s brave of her...

to have suggested speaking
to a third person.

I can also appreciate
my share of the responsibility,

but I know that the only solution

is for us to forgive each other
for past negligence.

Otherwise we can’t move on.

But, to be honest,

there’s something in me
that refuses to forgive her.

I’m angry with her.

Have you talked?

The day I got back
I needed to talk to him,

because I think that leaving it
just makes it harder.

But I could see that he didn’t want to,

so I suggested getting help,
and he thought I meant you.

He asked if it was a good idea,
I said I didn’t know,

and he said,
“I’m not sure Esther will agree.”

There’s meaning in misunderstandings.

So I decided to ask for this favor,

which I thought Charlotte had asked me
to ask of you.

And, since you agreed...

Well, even in a misunderstanding,
you arranged it together.

What’s stopping you
re-initiating dialogue?

I don’t know. The wounded pride
of the average male.

The laughable void of the white,
educated fifty-something,

who feels deep down
that he’s starting to lose his grip.

Who thought he still meant something

to the wife
with whom he’s shared so much,

maybe the only person who remembers him
when he was passionate,

combative, attractive, desirable...

Now, however, I find that in her eyes
I’m disappearing.

Maybe that’s hard to forgive.

For me it’s the last betrayal
and abandonment.

Maybe the most serious.

Sorry, but aren’t you getting
the violins out?

- Didn’t that move you?
- Were you trying to move us?

If you’re asking if I’m sincere,
I don’t know. What is sincerity?

One tries to say something,

and one discovers what it is
, as it comes out.

That is why I ask.

All I know is that I can feel
there’s something broken in me,

and I need to find it
by talking about it.

Is that what you couldn’t say
to Charlotte?

What you needed me for?

I want to pack it all in.

That’s what I’m trying to say.

I felt a sort of warning
in a reaction I had to my cop patient.

He provoked me
and I was that close to punching him.

Instead of that
I crumpled up in a miserable heap.

It may be time for me
to reconsider my profession.

You’re not saying
you want to quit because of me?

Not because of you. It’s me.

I’m saying that what matters most to me
is finding a way

for our marriage, our family, to exist.

Then, like Esther, I’m struggling
to follow your great self-questioning.

Your marriage, your family?
Are you sure they’re your priorities?

That hasn’t been obvious just lately.

That’s what I’m trying to tell you.
That’s what’s wrong in my life.

That’s what I want to change.

Despite what’s happened, I’m trying
to accept my share of responsibility.

Maybe it’s...

my pride, my wounded vanity,
that’s in the way.

That’s why I need to formulate it
with a witness.

I’m using her to make sure that my words

aren’t just a persuasive performance,

but are sincere.

I think we have to listen
to what you’re saying.

But maybe it’d be good to get things
between you on a clearer basis.

On an equal basis.

I don’t understand. What do you mean?

You don’t need me
to witness something else?

Esther, are you trying
to break the record

for the pregnant innuendo?

What are the two of you talking about?

I warned you
that this wasn’t very orthodox.

Is there something I should know?

Esther seems to think I should mention

conversations we’ve had
about a female patient.

A fragile patient who was also affected

by recent events.

But I think that’s problematic
from an ethical viewpoint.

You’re stepping outside your role.

What have you talked about
and how does it concern me?

You know about the concept
of transference.

Yes, I think so.

Transference is the mechanism
whereby the patient develops

extreme feelings of attachment
to her analyst,

projecting onto him
the attributes of ideal love,

quite divorced from reality, of course.

Transference can be seen
as an obstacle to analysis

because, while the patient relives,
with her analyst,

her earliest attachment problems,

the process
of the treatment is hampered.

But, in fact,

if it’s well handled,

transference is a crucial stage
of the treatment.

Between the analyst and patient

there’s a purified,
paradigmatic replaying

of the original..

Have you fucked her?

I don’t fucking believe it!

If not for you,
he wouldn’t have coughed that up.

When I think of how you’ve let me
stew in my guilt,

playing the outraged victim,
when you’ve been fucking a patient!

But... Charlotte, of course I haven’t.

You have! He’s lying, right?

Charlotte, calm down.

- You don’t understand.
- Yes, I do!

Something’s been going on,
look at your face!

You haven’t had sex, okay.
But you’re in love?

I want to know.

Now he’ll confuse me with his contorted
reasoning, until I’m totally lost.

Who is this woman?

Is he mad about her?
Does he reassure her?

Does he enlighten her about
the basic concepts of psychoanalysis?

Transference, desire,
and God knows what else.

She must be pretty.
Fragile, huh?

Lost her father at the age of 12 or 13.
That’s the sort he likes.

Okay, I admit I tried to use your guilt
to win your sympathy,

so you’d feel pity
and rediscover some interest in me.

And to sweep your lust for a patient
under the carpet.

I made this appointment happen!

Probably so I’d be able
to talk about this.

You weren’t very keen to.

Because I’m divided.

Of course it’s not clear,
of course I have contradictory feelings.

Look at yourself.

Last week you dumped everything –
your husband and family –

and now you’re here,
consumed with jealousy

about a patient
with whom nothing has happened.

If you accept your own complexity,

you won’t find it so hard
to accept mine.

There are hidden reasons
why you do things.

This is how he is!

He can always explain what you’re doing,
always to his advantage.

It’s my experience as an analyst.

I try to maintain a distance.
I’d like to help you do so.

I’m sorry,
but in expressing how you feel

you are both equal and legitimate.

No experience
is worth more than another.

Thanks.
He always finds an underlying reason.

I used to love it,
but now I can’t take it any more.

That’s why I went to Rome with Stéphane.

Why?

To stop being trapped
in this thing with him.

Where I have to watch every word I say,
every gesture...

I feel I’m trapped in my skin,
in a sort of computer program,

determined in advance, yet I always
end up feeling guilty that I got it wrong.

“Try again!”
But I don’t understand.

The machine isn’t working right,
but it’s still going...

With Stéphane, all I had to do
was let myself be wanted

and feel myself existing.

I could breathe,
or at least I thought so, because...

that didn’t lead anywhere either.

It just evaporated, like that.

After Charlotte’s efforts,

it would be good if you tried to explain
what’s happened with your patient.

I don’t think it’s a fair parallel.

What?

Sorry. I find your sincerity
very brave, I really do,

but I don’t agree there’s a parallel.

I’m not trying to deny that I felt
a powerful attraction to her,

but nothing happened.
That’s an important nuance.

But you really want to!

Yes, okay, I was tempted,
it was flattering.

I even imagined things.
That’s only human.

But I kept my distance.
I didn’t act on my thoughts.

Plato said something like,

“The wise man does in dreams
what the madman does in reality.”

Here he goes, with his Plato lecture!

And I didn’t say,
but she’s quitting analysis.

She had her last session on Monday.

So you’re free to see her outside now.

I’ve taken steps to try to save
our marriage. What’s left of it.

What kills me is that I feel I know her,
his pretty Monday patient.

Like I have a photo of her
before my eyes.

- How long has she been coming?
- For... I don’t know, maybe a year.

A year of fantasizing, and my fling
didn’t even last six months.

I told you, it’s not the same thing.

Maybe that was when you started
humping me again, now and then.

I bet it was Monday nights.

- Now you’re raving.
- Yeah, right, I’m raving!

She’s young, pretty, sexually liberated,

yet lost and in need of reassurance,
so you give her life meaning,

because she’s very intelligent
and needs only a mentor.

- Stop it.
- It seems I know her, because I do!

- What do you mean?
- I know her because she’s me.

Me, when I met you.

Stop it, that’s nonsense.

Why do you say that, Charlotte?

What’s the link between her and you?

I don’t know, sorry.

No, it’s important.

You’re describing how you saw yourself
when you met Philippe.

Is that how you felt?

Yes, that was me.

I was lost.

I needed to be reassured,
to feel worthy.

I needed to be appealing.

Philippe gave me all that.

In exchange, I conformed
to what he expected of me.

Being a companion,
a mother, an admirer.

And something has changed?

Me.

I think I’ve changed, yes.

I grew and I accomplished things.

I feel...

In fact..

Philippe’s right, it all comes from me.

I’m no longer the woman
he fell in love with.

Charlotte, you’re wrong.

I loved you for your wounds
and your fragility, yes,

but also for your strength.

We helped each other to grow.

I needed that strength, I still do.

Philippe,

Charlotte no longer feels in agreement
with the subconscious pact you had.

In a way, she’s challenging
the rules of the game.

Wouldn’t you be doing the same thing,

to have the same pact with another?

I think you’re being dishonest, Esther,

fitting her words to your concepts,
making her say what she didn’t say.

It’s manipulation.

Stop interpreting
and answer her question.

Okay, I’ll tell you what I think,
but you won’t like it.

I think the two of you
have leagued up against me.

Don’t worry, I haven’t gone paranoid.

That’s very reassuring!

I don’t think we’ve fully evaluated
what happened with the terrorist attacks.

Philippe, please!

Let me explain, please, it’s important.

At the moment of that shock
I think a word occurred to us all,

and that word is “war”.

We’re at war.

I’m not saying we really are,
that’s a geopolitical debate.

I’m saying that in our minds we’ve all
been living, since that night, in a war.

I don’t see how this is related.

What we call reality
is different for each person.

Everything that was well oiled before
is now creaking.

All parts of the whole are affected
by a multiplying factor of antagonism.

Everything
that was distinct or different

has become conflictual.

We’ve put war everywhere.

You mean that’s why

you feel attacked?
Esther and I are waging war on you?

All relationships have become tense.
It’s just the start.

If we’re not careful,
soon it’ll be war everywhere.

Between the rich and the poor,
the workers and the bosses,

blacks and whites,
parents and children, men and women...

Charlotte, what do you think
of what he’s just said?

You’re also largely concerned.

Sorry, but I’m not sure I understand.

If I’m angry with you now,

it’s because I’m caught up in a rancor

which is exacerbated
by the current climate,

and which I can only deal with
through conflict

because at the moment
we’re making everything antagonistic?

- Okay, can I ask you a question?
- Of course. We’re talking.

Are you basically saying that you
don’t feel concerned by our conflict,

not personally concerned?

Not personally,

but of course
it concerns me structurally.

Help me, I give up!

What would it mean
to be personally concerned?

Could it mean you’d find yourself
in the position of the bad guy?

The bad guy?

If we examine the facts, the bad guy
would be a fifty-something

who’s tried to go with a younger woman,

and refuses to question himself
in his marriage

because he can’t respond
to what his wife is asking of him.

Yes, that would be a bad-guy position.

And it doesn’t remind you of anyone?
Outside of yourself, of course.

I know you always want
to come back to my father.

Yes, you described my father,
but I’m fighting other problems.

Can you share them?

Is it within my understanding
to know what you’re experiencing?

Or is it a waste of time to even try?

We inherit different inner worlds.
That makes things complicated.

As well as being a man and a woman,

we clearly don’t have links

to the same
historical and cultural environments.

You see, for me,

there’s all the history I’ve inherited.

Centuries of being a minority,
of marginalization, of persecution...

The fact that members
of my mother’s family

died in the atrocities
of the 20th century,

that my mother sank into a melancholy

partly due to her childhood
during the occupation...

All of that plays a part.

And it’s something we don’t share.

You’re not saying we don’t understand
each other because you’re Jewish?

No.
But with our subconscious inheritance,

with what we’ve carried inside
since childhood,

and in a troubled period like now,
yes, it can make a difference.

It brings me closer
to my cop patient, for example.

The worst war-related thing
to happen to your family,

was how your dad
escaped conscription in ’62.

Esther, do something.
He’s talking absolute nonsense.

You’re trying anything to provoke us.

I had to work so hard to convince you

that Adam was upset by
anti-Semitic stuff he heard at school,

but you weren’t very bothered at all.

When did you become so dishonest?

The problem deep down
is incompetence.

Couples therapy needs special guidance.

If you bring up subconscious pacts
in the first session,

it can only aggravate the conflict.

What if we look, instead, at denial?

Aggressiveness?

Systematic obstruction?

Is that enough to explain the anger?
Is that the effect you’re after?

You can settle
your little theoretical quarrel.

I’m going home
to work out what to think

about this demoralizing time
I’ve just had.

This keeps happening,
people leaving your sessions in anger.

If I were you,
I’d ask myself some questions.