All language subtitles for Departures.2025.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264

- I think we should
skip right to the fucking end.

Here I am in the
local cruising ground.

No, I'm not about
to get noshed off.

I'm about to get dumped.

- I'm calling it a day, mate.

Like, I can't do this anymore.

Fuck you!

Calm down.

You're having a good time.

You weren't
complaining at the time

when I was paying for all your
fucking holidays were you?

You were looking forward to
be sitting here right now.

You're lucky to have spent
time with me for that time.

Like, just be thankful
for that time at least.

Spiteful face fucking you're
overstepping the boundary

and that's it. That's
the fucking end.

I really wish

that was the fucking end.

- You had a
good run. Fuck off.

- And even though
it's been like, what,

three months?

Still fucking hurts.

Sorry that I sent you all them
fucked up messages last night

I ended up getting
really fucked.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.

I fucking love you.

I fucking absolutely love you.

You're a fucking prick.

We don't have to have dinner,

we can just meet up
and we can just fuck.

Like I'm not even hard.

Just really fucking struggling
with it all at the minute.

Really, really sorry.

This is the fifth guy that
I've had round this week.

The Dom.

Rough and ready.

He also works at my
local supermarket

and he lives with his
elderly mum, Joanne.

- Hi dear.
- She's dead sweet.

- All right, all right.

Do you like poppers?

- Yeah.
- Do you?

- Yeah.
- Sniff that one.

How open are you now?

Do you like being fucking open?

Yeah you do.

There you are.

- Have you ever thought,

how the fuck did I end up here?

Now, this moment here

is the first time I remember

getting really,
really turned on.

- That's it, yeah.

Fucking smell that.

Fucking yeah.

- It is
gonna be so awkward

when I buy milk off
him in the morning.

- Are you just
gonna play with that

or are you gonna eat it?

- I feel sick.

- Oh, come on.

I made that from
scratch, darling.

Look at
the state of you.

Is this you now?

This is it?

- My mum.

She wasn't perfect...

- But do you know what?

It would've been so
much fucking easier

if you were just with a bird.

Do you know what I mean?

Look at ya.

Jesus Christ.

I thought we could
have fun together,

but I want a happy gay.

I'm giving you advice.

I'm telling you not to go
out drinking every night

and you are.

So if you're not
gonna listen to me,

you are not moving in.

- She's way better
than she used to be.

- I wanted a fucking
grandkids. That's all.

But oh no!

Old fucking selfish
faggot chops.

Listening in are ya?

Fucking poof.

What about AIDs?

I did not say that.

I would never say that.

- You did.

- Are you seeing your
mate Daniel recently?

- Daniel from
year 11 at school?

No, I've not.
- Yeah.

He just moved in
with his misses.

Look at him. He's doing
really well for himself.

And look at you.

State of it.

- You know he is
fruity don't you?

- Fruity?
- Fruity.

- What?

- What do you think we were
doing upstairs in the bedroom

when we were kids?

- Are you
actually kidding me?

- Did you ever
have that mate in school

that just wanted to wank
with you all the time?

Well, I did.

And it never made you gay
unless you actually...

- Benji, what the fuck
are you doing, man?

Bruv.

- I thought that's
what you wanted.

- You thought that's
what I wanted?

You fucking kidding me?

I swear to fucking God, Benji,

if you tell anyone about this,

I'll fucking kill you.

Okay?

I'll fucking kill you.

Faggot.

- He was back in my
bed the following weekend.

- I just
want you to be happy.

I really do.

- It's really difficult
to like get it out my head

and I think that's why
I just keep drinking,

'cause I'm like,

I just keep thinking
about him all the time.

Do you know what I mean?

- He don't wanna know you.

So why should you
wanna know him?

- Well, I just can't get
him out of my head mum.

Like it's really fucking me up.

- But you think he's
thinking about you?

All I want for you

is to get yourself a job,

stop selling pigeons.

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Hello.

- I'm Ryan. This is Benji.

We're knocking on doors today

collecting money for
Save the Birds UK.

It's 50p a month.
- Save the what?

- Save the Birds.
- Oh!

- In the UK. Yeah.

It's 50p for one
bird sponsorship

or it's 75p for two
birds per month.

- Okay, so what kind of birds?

What do I get? What bird?

- So we're still doing
the lovely Christmas cards

that you get sent
each Christmas.

We've also got some
really nice badges

that get sent out.

- Ooh, what color badges?

- Yes, you can get
blue, green, pink.

- What color blue?

- We've got swimming
pool blue, baby blue.

Exactly like this?

- No, I don't like it.

What about a sapphire blue?

- Yeah, I think there's
sapphire blue as well.

- Oh, wow.

- Listen lady, are you gonna
sponsor a fucking bird or what?

- Ryan, AKA the Bellend.

He has lost me so much
commission over the years,

but he's got a good heart

and he's pretty fit.

You fucking taking
the piss mate?

- You know what? Fuck off.

- What a fucking
tight bitch she was.

- Were you just born with
a fucking massive nob

on your head, mate?

- Mate, I cannot be
bothered to do this anymore.

Can we please go and
find some real birds?

Find you a cuckold mate.

- How the fuck have
you got any money?

- I've got business
savvy, haven't I?

- Yeah.
- Hey, what's up?

What's the matter with you?

What's up?

Oh, come on mate.

Come on, let's go
find some real fanny.

Come on. It's bank
holiday weekend. Please.

Please.

I know you don't like Fanny.

I know you like the dick

but this is for me, isn't it?

Because they're always
like, "Oh, my God,

he's so gay,"

and I'm like,

"Oh, I'm not. I'm fucking
straight."

- No, I'm just not
really in a good place

at the moment mate
at all, like at all.

- Oh, come on mate.

What else would you be doing?

Hey, come on mate.

- All right.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

- Yes. Come on then.

Let's fucking get the fanny.

Come on. Let's go mate.

Whoa! Here we go.

Come on. Fucking suck that boy.

Come on then mate. Whey!

Benji, wants the D. Come on!

When you take it up the
arse, does it feel nice?

I mean I've had a
finger up there before,

but...

Do you suck cock as well? Yeah.

I don't think I could suck cock.

I could probably have it sucked

if I was absolutely fucked.

Do you know what I mean?

What's the biggest dick
that you've ever seen?

I don't understand, right,

how do you make sure that
there's no shit up there

before a dick goes in?

When a guy comes round,

how do you know who's gonna
take it and who's gonna give it?

What is the biggest dick
that you've ever seen?

Is it nine inches?

Is 10 inches?

Is it 11 inches?

- I don't fancy him.

- Why don't you come over
here and show me yours?

- I don't.

- Yeah?

I'm fucking so hard
for you right now.

- He's straight.
I don't fancy him.

All right. I fucking do.

And it stops me thinking
about him anyway.

- Yo. Excuse me.
- Fucking hell.

- How long are you gonna
be on that pool table for?

- Dunno mate. Ask him.

- Fuck sake.

- Still think I'm gay?

Not me.

That's my friend.

- He's the gay one.
- Exactly.

- Are you all right ladies?

All right, mate.

No trouble tonight, you.

- Fuck off.
- See you down there, yeah?

All right, mate.
- You all right. Is he gay?

- He is proper gay.

- Prove it.

- What?
- Prove it.

At least try to pretend.

Any trouble you's
are fucking out.

- Is it busy in there mate?

- Yeah, it's rammed.

Evening ladies. You okay?

- What the fuck?

Ryan.

- Oh, Charlotte.

- Oh, so you can't
find your own man

so you come to a gay
bar and take mine?

- Your man? That ain't your man.

- Get out my face.

- She was
kissing me first.

- Get off me!

She was kissing you first.

Was she fuck.

Why are you getting involved?

Stink like a right little slag.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

- Of course
we get kicked out.

I should have just
stayed at home

wanking and crying
into my pillow.

Yeah, he'll do.

He's well fit

but he's into Ryan.

I'll take it.

Anything to stop
thinking about him.

I managed to get
him back home and...

You're fit.

- Yeah. Where's that lad?

The one you're with tonight.
- Huh?

- Where's the lad we
were with tonight?

- What, Ryan?

- Yeah, whatever his name is.

- He's straight.

- What do you mean
he's straight?

- He's straight.

- Well, is he not coming
back with us tonight?

- Nah.

- Oh, so it's just me and you?

Let's get another guy over
from the internet, yeah.

- What?
- Yeah. It'd be really fun

like the three of us.

- Ah, fuck it.

- Yeah, it'll be... No?
- No.

- What do you mean no?
- Nah, just me and you.

- Yeah.

So just me and you then, yeah?

- Yeah.

- All right, fine.

Well, take your
clothes off then.

Yeah.

- He doesn't
even want to be here.

Yeah. All right.

I've not been to the gym.

He thinks fuck it.

And so it continues.

A drink, a fuck, a grinder.

A drink, a fuck, a grinder.

I just do anything to
stop thinking about him.

I think about
going to your house

but I remember the
restraining order.

I think about
going to your work.

I think about phoning you,

but you've blocked me.

I think about anything
I can do to reach you.

They say the best way to
move forward is to go back.

This is me not on the edge
of a nervous breakdown.

I was having a bit of an
independent traveling phase,

which meant an £89 flight to
Amsterdam for the weekend.

It's moments like these

that you wish a sign would
spring up being like,

run bitch, run.

But there wasn't one.

Fuck, he's coming over.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

God, he's coming over.

Okay, so why were
you staring at him?

You can see his dick
in those shorts.

- Joke innit.

- Yeah. All canceled.

- Have to wait
for the next one now.

Fancy another?

- Introducing the
absolute bellend

that I'm about to
fall in love with.

Cheers.

- Don't you hope for some
fit girls on our flight?

- And I really hope
after seven pints you're gay.

- You gonna get that?

- It's my mum, honestly,

since she's found out
the planes are canceled,

she's like, are you okay?

I'm like, fuck off.

- I wish I could call my mum.

- Call her.

- Can't mate. She's dead.

- Oh, fuck. Sorry mate.

- Did you kill her?
- What?

- What you sorry
for you bellend?

- I just kept thinking
my mum would be like...

- He's got
big dick energy.

- Things I learned about
the fit guy at the airport.

He was a PT for footballers,

i.e. rich.

He was a huge cock tease,

but always followed it up
by talking about fit girls.

He said he had a 10-inch cock,

which sometimes he couldn't
fit in boxer briefs.

- Hi. Hi. Sorry.

I think you're in
the wrong seat.

Actually, there was a bit
of a mix-up at check-in.

You see I'm his carer,

so I need to be sat next to him.

Is that all right?

- Why, what's wrong with him?

- Right. Okay, no problem.

- Stop laughing.
- You prick!

I'm Benji.

- Benji?

- Right. Well, what's your name?

- If we're still talking
on the flight home,

I'll tell you.

- You arrogant cunt.

But he's fit as fuck.

Fit people get
away with anything.

- Hit the bars
when we land, yeah?

- All right.

I like bacon on it

and then maple
syrup on the bacon.

- On a pancake?

- Yeah.

Like American style.
- Fucking so wrong mate.

Bacon on a pancake?

- Yeah.
- What the fuck man?

That's mental.

- So you're not meeting
anyone out here or anything?

- No.

What about you?

- No.

- So I've got you all
to myself then, have I?

- We start
necking back pints

and already I feel
like one of the lads.

We flip beer mats up in the air.

And to be honest,

it just demonstrates that
I'm really dyspraxic.

We play darts.

He lets me win.
It's pretty cute.

We go get high.

It does not mix well
with the alcohol.

I am feeling fucked.

I convince him that all the
fit girls go to gay bars.

Cut to the whitey
starts to affect me

and I'm sick in my
mouth three times.

We have pictures
in a photo booth

and he pretends to suck me off.

And to be honest, I get hard.

We end up dancing and I
look like E.T. on ketamine.

He keeps looking at
girls in the club

and it is starting to
fuck me off a little bit.

We go get chips and
I just keep thinking,

am I about to spend the
weekend with someone

who just wants to fuck a bird?

Am I in that situation

where I've gotta pretend
to be one of the lads?

Or is something inside of
him just that little bit gay?

- Feel all right?

- Yeah.

I think it's the beer.

- It's fucked you up.

- I'll be all right in a minute.

Do you like when you
drink and you smoke

and it makes you a bit like.

- Oh, I think I
filled it too much.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, mate.

That's not good is it?

You ever shagged while
you've been high?

- The last time I
shagged when I got high,

I actually vomited
all over a guy's cock.

Yeah.

- How'd you feel
like, was it good?

It's nice, isn't it?

- Looks shit.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

And then I think, fuck
it. I'm gonna ask him.

So, are you like straight, yeah?

- Why you putting a label on it?

What about you?

- I shagged a girl once.
- You did?

- Like, literally once. Yeah.

- Go on lad.

- But,

do you know like the 18 to
thirties tour buses they do?

- Mm.

- So I'm on one of them at 18

and there's this woman on
it and she's 35 to be fair.

So she probably shouldn't
have been on it.

So she's like got it in for me.

She's obsessed with
me for the whole trip

and I'm terrified

because I've got like
proper virgin energy,

do you know what I mean?

- So you were a virgin?

- Yeah.

And one night I'm
in the swimming pool

and we're all fucked, like
we've been out drinking

like proper on it.

- Mm.

- And she's like,
target acquired.

So she gets in the pool

like knickers off, comes over.

- Fucking hell.
- I'm like that.

She comes over and she's
shagging me, right?

But there's this lad,
this Argentinian lad

who's fit as fuck

and he's watching us,

but he's wanking.

So I'm watching him wank

while I'm shagging her

and I'm looking at him in
the eyes and I'm like...

- Fuck, so he was
basically keeping your hard.

- Yeah.

And I was like, fuck
I'm gay.

- You know what?

We should get someone in.

- What do you mean?

Wait.
- Get a brass.

Girl brass.

- Right.

- Good for it.

You don't have to do
anything if you don't want.

- Well, yeah. I'm not
gonna shag a bird, am I?

- You can watch.

- Yeah?

- All right. Yeah, whatever.

Inside I was thinking
absolutely fucking not.

But I might get to
see his dick so...

- This is Vanessa.

- So do you wanna sit down,

chat for a little bit,

or go straight to the bedroom?

Got about 30 minutes.

- Oh, yeah. Is it all
right if he watches?

- Yeah, that's 80
euros more cash.

- Have you got cash?

Are you sure?

- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's fine. Yeah.

- Okay.
Bedroom through there?

- Yeah. Yeah. You lead the way.

- Okay.

See you in there?

- No, not arsed. Honestly.

Not arsed.

- Come on. Come through.

- Now, this
for me was a little bit

like a choose your
own adventure book.

Turn to page three to go back
to your hostel and have a wank

or turn to page 73
to get involved.

Watching wasn't
usually my thing, but

I could tell it was his.

He's not taking
his eyes off me and

I'm hard as fuck.

So is she like your type then?

- Blondes,

brunettes,

redheads.

What about you?

- I wish I could say

I went for loving
caring guys, but...

- Yeah,

you know, you're
lucky to have me.

- Danny, who
loved to do ketamine.

And if I didn't do
ketamine with him

then I was a bad, bad boyfriend.

- I know what your
mum thinks of me.

Yeah. I dunno why you need
to speak to her though.

Why do you need your family?

- And
here's Smiley Sean.

Smiley Sean, who used to
call me morbidly obese.

What a keeper.

- The fact that I
slept with you. Oh!

Fuck, like why would I do that?

- Bit like me then yeah?

Go on then.

- What?

- Go on then.

- Go on then what?

- I said, "Go on then."

- Why did you come
back here, Benji?

- And then it sinks in

that it's just me
and a pint of wine

getting completely off my tits

and reliving what I thought

was the best
relationship of my life.

This time in £89 fight to
Amsterdam doesn't feel the same.

I don't know what I'm fucking
doing coming back here.

You want me to get it in?

- Get it in.

You little pussy. Don't stop.

Don't stop. Keep going.

- Staying
in this apartment,

it feels haunted now.

- That's me. Wait,
wait, wait, wait.

- Oh, for fuck sake.

- And there we go.

- Oh, fucking hell!

You're dirty.

You are so dirty.

- Nice.

- I mean, I'm not
fucking doing that.

You can fuck right off.

- We can try it.

- Fuck off.

- Get off me, you faggot.

- I wonder if I've ever
made anyone feel this shit?

And then I remember
my ex-girlfriend.

Yeah, that's me
pretending to be asleep

so I don't have to
have sex with her.

- I'm gonna do it now.

No, I wanna have sex.

- I'm drunk.

- I'm drunk.

We're both drunk.

Come on.

Come on.

- I'm gonna be sick.

- You always do this.

- No, I do. I just-

- Then what is it?

- I'm drunk. I feel sick.

- I've put this on.

Every time I wanna
have sex with you,

you don't wanna go near me.

Do you just wanna break up?

Is that what you want?

- No. No. That's
not what I want.

- You just keep pushing me away.

But you know what?

I'm gonna have sex tonight,

whether it's with you or not.

Fuck off. I'm done.

- I just
wanted to watch films

and have a gossip with her.

- My name's Jake.
You passed the test.

- Oh,

Jakey poos.

- What you doing?

- What?

- It's a little
bit gay that Benji.

- Your dick up my arse
is a little bit gay.

- Fuck off.

It's not gay if you're
doing the shagging mate.

- Are you on prep by the way?

- Just to put it out there,

I'm not gay. Okay?

Just having a bit of fun.

And this is nothing serious.

Like, I don't wanna
be on the list of guys

that fucked you up in the past.

- You won't. No.

Someone's got a big head.

- Do this again?

- Yeah.

- Next month?

- Next month?

- Yeah. Go anywhere you like.

You can pick.

- I've not really got any
money mate, to be honest.

- Fuck off Jock.
Come away or not?

- What?

- On me.

You can choose.

- Money bags.

All right.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

It's a date.

- It's not a date.

- It's a date.

- It's not a date.

- It is, it's a date.

- Shut the fuck up.

- It's a date.

you're gonna come meet my mum.

It's a date.

- Fuck off.

Get off me.

It is not a date.

- It's a date.

And that was it.

Every month we'd meet
and go to Amsterdam.

- Clothes off.

Right.

I'll get the bird in the MD.

You have a
shower, you smelly bastard.

- Sick.

- What you doing?
- What?

- Delete that please.

- Fuck off.

- Stop it.

- I'm just taking it in

that I've shagged a
10 twice this week.

- You are such a weirdo mate.

I shagged a mid-tier five

and I've not said
anything, have I?

- No, but you've taken
him away and paid for him.

I was gonna say, actually

I've got a bit of a sales
commission coming up,

so I was gonna transfer
you a little bit of money.

- Shut the fuck up.

Right, get your kit off.
- What you doing?

- Let's get in the water.
- What are you doing?

- Take it off. Let's go
- Fuck off!

I'm not taking my kit off.
- Why not?

- Because I'm not.

- Why not?

Take your kit off.

- We're outside.

- There's no one here.

- I'm not taking my top off.

- Why not?

- You won't have
experienced this, right?

But you know when
a guy gives you the

you've not been to the gym look.

Like I'm just not into it.

I'm not taking-

- Benji, listen.

Stop.

Listen.

When have I ever
given you that look?

Never.

You look amazing.

Now, come on, get
your stuff off.

Let's get in the water.

We're in the red light
district after, yeah?

It's not bad, you know.

- And despite everything,

you were the first person

that made me feel
positive about my body.

Fuck off!

Twat!

Are you like this
for women by the way?

- Like what?

- Dominating.

- Women don't like it as much.

- Right? Well, who
said I liked it?

- You seem
to fucking like it.

- All right, let's get a
sliding little scale here, yeah.

50-50 men, women.

Where we sitting?

- I'd say
70-30, women to men.

Yeah, I never said
that out loud before.

- That you're bi?

- Did I say that, Benji?

How many lads have you been
with since we've been away?

- None.

- None?

- Yeah, none.

- Mate, I shagged like 10
birds since we last went away.

Fucking hell, what
you been doing?

- Go on then.

- What?

- I want a Benji special.

- Benji special.

Get ready for your
socks to be blown off.

- And in that moment
I felt like a teenage girl

and knew you were gonna
be around for a while.

What do you want to do now?

This did wonders for my esteem.

- Benji, where are you?

- Yeah, I'm in Amsterdam.

No, I don't want you
to fucking come out.

I'm not.

I'm not seeing him.

I just need a few days
out here on my own.

No, I promise you I'm fine.

I'm fine.

Fuck sake.

Look, I just need three days
max and I'm gonna come home.

I will.

I'm not seeing
him. He's not here.

Okay, I love you.

I gave my head a wobble and
decide to leave the flat,

but I go and do
what I always do.

Only this time it's down a
seedy alleyway in Amsterdam.

All right.

- You don't look
like your pictures.

- All right.

He's not wrong.

I did use face tune
on that picture.

I don't have the words
for what happened next.

Not yet anyway.

- Don't worry.

Why you look so scared, huh?

- I'm not scared.

- I take care of you, yes?

Go.

Yes.

Hm?

Sit.

Do as your told. Sit.

Good boy.

You do as I tell you, yes?

- Mm-hm.
- Yes?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hm.

Relax.
- I'm fine.

You like?

- Is he okay?

- Yes.

He wants me.

He told me.

Touch him.

Why are you so scared?

- I'm fine.

- No. You need to relax.

- I've not done that one before.

- It's okay.

I show you.

For you.

You don't drink.

Not yet.

- Just down it?
- Drink.

- Okay.
- Sante.

- Mm?
- Mm-hm.

- You feel?
- Mm-hm.

- You want to feel?
- Mm-hm.

- What are you doing?

- I need to go.

- Huh?
- I need to leave.

- What?

No, no, no, no.

Why you going?

- Mm-mm.

- Huh?

- I don't feel very well.
- What?

No, no. Stay.

- Mm-mm.
- Huh?

You stay here, huh?

Huh?

Come on. You fucking bitch.

Huh?

- Eventually, he leaves
and my first thought is,

"That could have been worse."

How fucked up is that?

I feel pain in my ribs

and I close my eyes

and leave my body.

- The film you are about to see

represents a homosexual.

- Oh, no, no.

That's no kind of
a thing to say.

- Find
themselves depersonalized.

Like almost leaving their
body at those experience

at those times.

- Benji, look
at the time, my love.

- You
will grow up someday.

- Typically,
when we see dissociation,

in almost all cases
I've ever seen,

it's a trauma response.

It's often considered to be a-

- We seem to be drifting apart.

- All
homosexuals are not passive.

- And it's all because of-

Your product here.

Disassociation.

- Have you ever
been dealt a shit hand?

- Weren't you on my flight?

- I'm gonna fuck you up.

- I feel like I've been
sucked up into an arsehole.

I lose so many
hours and I don't,

don't know what day it is.

- How much have you taken?

- And I just keep
wishing that I was back with...

And this was the first
trip that felt like a date.

It felt like you
wanted to show me off.

We went out of the apartment,

we went bike riding together

and it felt amazing.

- Fuck, are
you falling there?

Falling there.

What we talking
about here, no hands?

Hey?

It's fucking shocking weather.

- Yeah.

My brakes aren't
working.

Who's fucking idea was this?

- Stop being a pussy.

All right, here you go.

Would you rather

lick out a fanny that were full

with cottage cheese that been
in the fridge for a year.

- Where the fuck do
you get this shit?

- Or

suck someone off

if he had a Yorkshire pudding

wrapped around the
dick covered in gravy?

- Yorkshire pudding cock.

- Whose cock is it?

- Doesn't matter.

- And yeah. All right.

Maybe I do wear rose-tinted
glasses sometimes.

Maybe we weren't Snow
White and the Huntsman

running round the
woods that day.

But in my head it's how
I like to remember it.

- What do you wanna do tonight?

- I've actually got a
couple hours work tonight.

- You actually work out here?

- Yeah.

- Oh, right.

- It's a junior
league, new client.

In and out. Nice and easy.

- I can come.

- No.

I think we should go
somewhere hot next.

- I think you should stop
spending money on me.

- I think you should
shut the fuck up.

- Oh, yeah?

Fuck off.

Fuck off.

That was actually
quite romantic.

- Suck me off.

- What if someone comes?

- Yeah, I'm gonna come.

- We're in the woods.

- Yeah, so?

- Can we not be
just like romantic

for like two minutes?

I felt like a nosh on tap.

- Can we just make
something clear?

- All right, use
your serious voice.

- Shut the fuck up a second.

The arrangement is

we see each other in
Amsterdam, not in the UK.

I book the trips

and I tell you when we're
gonna see each other.

All right?

- Hale?

You live
in fucking Hale?

- The fuck you doing
with my wallet?

You fucking weirdo. Get off.

- Fucking hell. Calm down mate.

- Don't tell me to calm down.

- Don't fucking shout at me.

- Don't shout at me!

- Fuck off!

- You fuck off you little prick.

- Don't fucking hit me.

- Fuck off you little-
- Fuck off.

- Fuck off you little cunt.

Don't touch my shit. All right?

- I'm going.

- Benji, don't go.

- Don't. Fucking stop
grabbing my arms.

- Benji, fucking stay.

Just stay. Just stay. I'm sorry.

- Yeah.
- Here.

- No.

I don't...

Fuck off.

- Benji, just don't go.
Just stay. I'm sorry.

- Just don't fucking
grab my arms again.

- Okay. Okay.

- Fucking hell.

- Just don't touch my shit.

You taking my shit for?

Look, I don't want
anything serious.

Okay? I'm not looking
for a relationship.

I'm really happy the
way that things are.

If you're not, then
that's fine but...

- I think I just wanna
go back to be honest.

- Okay. You all right?

- I'm fine.

- Did I hurt you?
- No.

And looking back,

I think this was the
moment we both knew

that this wasn't gonna end well.

I really wish that
moment had happened,

but

he never would kiss me
in front of other people.

- When in Amsterdam

have pancakes.

- Cheers.

- I'm sorry about yesterday.

I think I get my
temper from my dad.

- You get it from somewhere.

Still see you dad?

- No mate.

I've not seen him since
the late nineties.

- Who doesn't
love a nineties flashback?

And this might feel like
a toxic origin story,

but people are complicated.

And I'm not excusing him.

When I heard this,
I wanted to fix him.

I wanted him to be okay.

Morning dad.

Dad.

Dad.

I'll get you some food.

- And then she came,

his Auntie Jackie.

Now, I'm not gonna lie,

on paper she is a
bit of a gay icon.

- You all right?

A hello would be nice.

Your dad's gone off and he's
asked me to check in on you.

Well, fucking hell.
I can go if you want.

There you go.

That's the proper
man's drink that is.

- It's fucking hanging that.

- Oh, drink it up.
- Why's it doing that?

- Bloody drink it up your poof.

- Would you rather have

a daughter that's his
slag or a son that's gay?

- Would you rather a
fanny dipped in cheese,

like cottage cheese

that's been out for like weeks

or a cock wrapped in
Yorkshire pudding and gravy.

- Fanny, obviously.

- You fucking liar.

- It would be the fanny.

- You love Yorkshire puddings.

- Yeah, but not round a dick.

It would obviously be fanny.

- Oh, no way.

You are absolute a virgin mate.

There's no way you've
been near fanny.

- I'm not a virgin.

- I can smell it.

- I'm not a fucking virgin.

- Oh, I've touched
a nerve!

- Who's that?

- Oh, don't you worry.

You just stay down here.

Mommy's got to do a little work.

- Mommy?

- Sorry. Auntie Jackie.

You all right, Paul?

Come on in. Cash up front, yeah?

- Yeah.

- Great.

- Who's the kid?

- Oh, it's just my
nephew. It's fine.

- I don't think
he should be here.

- Well, he is not
coming upstairs babe.

- Don't think I'm
pretty keen on that.

- Oh, don't worry.

I've got the nappies. It's fine.

Come on.

Do you want me to slap you?

Call you-

- As long as
he stays down there.

- Yeah,
yeah. It'll be fine.

- Right,
you fucking bastard.

You love this, don't you?

Where's your dummy?

Do you wanna suck on a dummy?

You fucking skanky baby.

Oh, come on!

- Please.
- Oh!

Do you want another slap?

- Yeah.

- You've
been a naughty baby.

- Please, yes.
- A naughty baby.

- I'm so bad.

Okay.

- Wipe your own shit.

I've had enough of you,
fucking horrible baby.

- I always feel a bit frisky
after I've had a bit of action.

I saw you.

- What?

- Little pervert.

Were you watching him?

- No.

- Well, you can't have
been wanking about me

because I'm your auntie.

That would be weird.

- Did he pay you?

- Yeah, £50.

- Ugh, you little slag.

- Don't talk to me like that.

Everyone pays for sex.

Nothing wrong with it.

- Yeah. Who do you pay for sex?

- Do you know what?

I would pay

£45 for Eric Cantona
to do me from behind.

Really rough.

Love that.

It's his hands.

They're so big.

Oh, Banjo, Banjo, Banjo.

I bet you'd like Eric

up the bum.

- He's mine.

- What?

- Did dad leave me a card out

or anything for my birthday?

- Is it your birthday?

- I mean, have you
had sex before?

- Oh, my God.
Don't ask him that.

You'll embarrass him.

- What? It's a simple question.

Have you or have you not?

- Yeah.

- There we go.
Question answered.

- Right, you two pop upstairs

and, you know, pop
his cherry.

- What do you mean?

- Happy birthday Jakey?

- Oh, fuck off Jackie.

- Oh, come on. Chill out.

Come on, Jack.

- Jake.

- She's all right.
She's dyslexic.

Don't be so worried.

You'll be all right.

Just take her from behind

and pretend she's
George Clooney.

She's handsome.

She's got a strong nose.

You'll be all right.

- I'll try to keep her quiet.

- Nice one.

Hello.

Do you want to come and live
with your auntie Jackie?

There we go. There you go.

That's nice, isn't it?

Fucking heavier
than Oprah Winfrey.

- Not gonna stay?

- No.

It was only an hour.

- Was it good?

- It was fast.

Look, your auntie
only paid for me

because she thought
you were a wee poof.

She didn't think you're actually
gonna go through with it.

Banjo.

Excuse me.

Have you seen a lady with a dog?

Banjo!

- He never did
see that little dog again.

Apparently, she sold it for £40.

I don't think he saw
any of his family again.

- Benji, why's your
phone been off for eight hours?

I'm worried.

You need to come home.

It's not gonna make you
feel better being out there.

He's not coming back.

He's moved on and
you need to and all.

- After putting myself
in danger yesterday,

I still wake up
and think, fuck it,

I'm gonna meet someone.

And I know what
you're thinking, but

he looks like he's
got a really nice face

and I'm gonna meet
him somewhere public

in some toilets.

- I don't usually meet
in public toilets.

- I mean, I thought it'd
be a bit less awkward

than meeting outside Anne
Frank's house.

- Do you not just wanna
like leave the toilets

and go get a coffee?

- I mean, I poked my head
in the cubicles before

and they're pretty clean.

What you say?

- Okay.
- Yeah?

- Okay.
- All right, fuck it. Come on.

- Fuck it.
- Fuck it.

So are you top or bottom?

- I'm vers.

- So bottom?

- No, I'm vers.

- Okay.

- Look, I can't
hook up in toilet.

- No one's gonna come in.

- It's
really not my thing.

- No one's gonna come in.

- Shush. Shush.

He's gone.

- Do you want a piss or
something before you go?

- No.

- No, look.

You can literally
smell shit in here.

- Do you not fancy me?

It's fine.

- Shush.

Let's just get a coffee.

No stress.

- Okay.

- Okay then?

- Okay then.

I'm Kieran.
- Benji.

I'll do my belt up then.

- Nearly.

- Now, I
am not gonna lie.

He gave me proper
fizzy knickers.

But Kieran was
escaping just like me.

His troubles sunk a
little deeper than mine.

- Go on!

Go on!

- I need another drink.

- No, how much have you drank?

- You drive like this?

- Absolutely. You go to the bar.

I'll do the driving.

- Please. Stop!

- Who the fuck are you?

Fuck off.

- What?

- Fuck off.

Get out.

- He kept pushing
away the people he loved,

again and again.

He ends up coming back to mine.

And to be honest, it
feels fucking weird

being here with another guy.

- You okay?
- Yeah.

- What's wrong?
- Nothing.

- You seem a little bit...

- No, I'm just saying

that it'd be nice if we just
did stuff together like...

- What? You gonna take me out?

- Yeah.
- Where?

Pizza Hut?

- Erm. I actually
used to work at Pizza Hut

and it's got a really
good salad bar.

- I don't want it like that.

We had an agreement.

We've already talked
about this before.

- Right.

- Okay?

We come here, we get a girl.

Just chill.

Just like, just calm down
a little bit. All right?

- All I'm trying to
say is it's been three-

- Are you having fun?

Are you having a good
time, me and you?

- What?

- Are you having a good
time? I said, me and you.

- Fucking hell.

What if I meet someone?

- Where are
you gonna meet someone?

- What?

- Where are you
gonna meet someone?

You don't do anything.

What, are you gonna meet
someone better than me?

- I'm sort of still
seeing somebody.

So it's all a bit like...

- Ah.

Okay.
- Yeah.

- Really?

Cool.

All right, so I think, yeah,

I'll see ya, maybe.

- Have you
ever had that moment

when you realized that you
might have become the arsehole?

I mean, you're channeling some
big dick energy there Benji.

I sometimes wonder if we'd
have met when we were younger

if things would've
been different.

- Would you rather

have everyone able
to hear your thoughts

or you can hear everyone's
thoughts in the entire world?

- I can hear everybody
else's thoughts.

Would you rather

always scream or always whisper?

- Always scream.

Don't fucking do that to me.

Don't fucking do that to me.

I'm not fucking gay.

You pervert.

- Second thoughts. Maybe not.

I feel like a bit of
a prick to be honest.

- No, don't worry about it.

It's okay.

I'll have just have a
little five minutes.

- Yeah, so I wanna tell
you something. Okay?

- Just became a cycle
that I was stuck in

and I'm still stuck in it
now and we're not together.

- It's kind of like
haunted, isn't it?

This place now.

- I feel like I'm
still with him.

Do you know? Like I
never, we never broke up.

We were never like
officially together but

it feels like I'm still in it.

Like I'm deep in it

and I can't find
the way out of it.

And then I can hear my mum
from a few weeks ago saying...

- "Stop talking
about that dickhead

and find a nice guy."

It's getting late.

- And then I realized

that this is the first time
that I've fallen asleep

without drinking in over a year.

- Thanks for that.

So be happy.

Come here.

See ya.
- See ya.

I think this is the first time

that I've had someone back
and not had sex with them.

We arranged to sit
next to each other

on the flight back
to Manchester.

I feel a bit giddy.

I'm starting to think
that maybe coming here's

helping a little bit.

And then I'll see you in my
head and it'll hurt again.

But maybe not as much.

I just keep replaying
when it all fell apart.

- Stop filming me, you cunt.

- Hello you mad cunt.

Benji boy.

Guess where I am.

Me and the lads had
a fucking wild one

and we are in

Amsterdam

and I know you're
here this weekend.

So why don't you
come out and meet us?

- Bringing him here

was the worst idea in the world.

- Have a fucking hit have
you? It's the fucking weekend.

- I don't want anything.

I told you stop
acting like a couple

because we're not.

- The second he
met Ryan, his back was up.

It was like he wanted a fight.

- I haven't fucking
told anyone anything.

Oi.

- What? Stop
fucking touching me.

- Do you wanna go?

- Yeah, you go. Fuck off.

- Hey, you all right here, mate?

You good?

Get the fucking shots in.

- Yeah, I'm happy with that.

Yeah, definitely
mate. You good, yeah?

- Toxic
masculinity initiated.

I feel like this is
the start of a gay porn

that I once watched.

- Right? So I'm thinking
strip club first.

I'm thinking brass.

I'm thinking burgers 'cause
I'm fucking starving.

And then I'm thinking
back to the brass' house.

What does that sound like? Yeah?

Hang on. Sorry.

Wait, are we playing
fucking spin the bottle

like we're 12-year-old
girls or something?

What? What?

- You know what? I'm gonna
go with dare, fuck it.

- Ooh!

- Let's go. Come on.
- Big boy.

- All right. All right.

I dare you to piss in
the glass and down it.

Big boy!

- Come on.

- Hey, mate. It was a jungle.

- Truth or dare pal.

- You lot are fucking
mad. I'll go for a truth.

Fuck that dare shit.

- Oh, seeing as it's my truth.

He said truth. I like that.

Are you two shagging?

- Ooh.

- You got a fucking
problem or something?

- I've got no problem here mate.

You're the one with a problem

because I told you didn't I

that these two are defo shagging

but you can't admit it.

- All right, fuck
it. Give me a dare.

- I dare you

to kiss one of these
boys around this table.

- Hey, mate. Leave it.

- This really fucked me off.

- Whoa!

- If you gonna do it
lad, do it properly.

- What the fuck?

- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Ah!

- Ah!

- I try and remember

if I've always gone
for toxic guys, like

where was the root of it?

I know you.

- Yeah?

From where?

What's this you've got on?

- It's the god of love.

- God of love?

I'm gonna go and get a drink.

Do you want anything?

- Now, this moment here

is a moment where I probably
could have got with a

really, really nice guy, but...

- Watch where you're going mate.

Fuck me.

- Now everyone knew

that Louis Jones was
an absolute slag.

- All aboard!

- But everyone
wanted to sleep with him.

- Here, have a look
at this.

Oh fuck me, I'm fit.

Aren't I?

- Yeah.

- You take siv?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Get in there then.

- And that was the
first time that I got chlamydia.

- It's fucking too much.

When we were in there you're
like touching me all the time.

Like you're making out
that we're together.

We're not fucking together.

I'm sorry.

- We spent the rest of
that trip pretending

everything was all right.

Sometimes I'd look at him

and I'd think I'm so
lucky to be with him.

It's pathetic,

but my heart was hurting.

- Just give me some
space for a bit.

What do you wanna
do tonight then?

- Just dunno.

Going home tomorrow,
aren't we, so just...

- Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Have a little blowout.

Get a girl, some
weed, some booze.

- I was gonna talk to you about

just like pausing
for a bit after this.

Just a little bit.

- What do you mean?

- It's just,

I think about you when
we're not together

and I know we've got
an arrangement and...

- Where has this all come from?

- I just, I feel like it's
getting a bit much for me

to stay in it at the minute

because it's, you know,

you can feel it start
fucking up your head

and I just, I don't want
to get there with it.

So I think we'll just
pause it for now.

I can't even text you
when I'm not with you.

So it's...

- Yeah, 'cause we
had an agreement,

but like what does that mean?

You mean you,

what, you've got
feelings for me? What?

- I'm struggling a bit with it.

- Yeah, but I don't want it.

I don't want that.

I don't want it to end.

Can I just be

brutally honest
for a little bit.

When I'm at home,

I've got so much stuff going on,

my mind is a mess.

I'm so fucked up and

I'm not happy

and I don't know what to
do to get myself out of it.

But then, when I'm here

and I'm with you,

everything just feels right.

It just feels...

My head just feels calm.

Uber will be here
in five minutes.

I can't do next month,

but maybe the next two months?

- Why?

- Just got stuff on.

- What stuff?

- Just stuff.

- Just

completely honest.

Are you seeing someone?

- No.

- No. Look at me.

Are you seeing someone?

- Benji, no.

What are
you laughing at?

- Oh, do you know what?

That is the best one yet.

- You love my cringe
though, don't you?

- Do I?
- Yeah, you do.

- Don't give up the
day job yet, will you?

- Give me some
good news before I go away.

- Do you know what
I was thinking?

- What?

- Why don't I come with you?

- Ah, baby. You'd be bored.

- I'd be bored?
- Yeah.

- Bored in Amsterdam?

Come on, I'm sure I
can find something

to keep me entertained.

- Well, I'm gonna
keep you locked up

so you can't go anywhere.

- Locked up?

Give me a snuggle.

Mm. Love you.
- See you later.

I love you too.

- Don't do anything
I wouldn't do.

Best behavior.

Call me when you
get there, yeah?

- I will.
- Okay, bye.

It's only me.

Just checking that you've
landed and you're all right.

You've not phone me back yet

so I'm just checking
that you've landed

and everything's fine.

One day, which day?

- It just depends what happens.

- Sunday or Monday?
- I don't know, obviously.

I'll know more when I get there.

- Oh, fucking hell.

This person's phone

is currently unavailable.

Please try later.

- I'm so happy.

No, I've not even told him yet.

- Okay?

Hi.

- Don't touch me
- Baby.

- No.

- What's up?

Baby, what's wrong?

- You know what's wrong?

- I don't know what's
up. What's wrong?

I've just come back
from three days.

I've not seen you in ages.

What's going on?

And a nice hello would be good.

- So why haven't you
responded to like

the hundred missed calls
that I've given you?

- Baby, you know I've been busy.

- So you've
not seen them?

- I've been in and out meetings.

I've been with
people constantly.

My phone has been playing up.

- Do you know what
annoys me the most?

That you've got no
consideration for me at all,

that you've got no care,

that, you know, something
could have been wrong with me.

You know, it could have been
an emergency. Who knows?

But you don't
actually even think?

- Is there anything
wrong with you?

You look fine to me.

There's nothing wrong is there?

- You don't even,
that's what I mean.

You don't even know the news

and everybody else
knows and you don't know

because you couldn't even
be arsed to text back

or call back or anything.

- What news? What
you talking about?

- I'm pregnant.

- What?

You're pregnant?

- Yeah.

- Baby, this is amazing.

I'm sorry. I'm so
sorry. I'm so sorry

but that is amazing.

That is beautiful news.

It was just a mad weekend.

I'm so, so sorry.

Come here. I love you. Please.

- Should we go for some
food tomorrow night?

I want to try that new place.

- Can't tomorrow night babe.

- Why not?

- I just got
some work stuff.

- Yeah, I
meant tomorrow night.

- Yeah, I've got a meeting.

It's...

'Cause of the time difference,

it's gonna start quite
late tomorrow, I think.

We'll go another day.

- Okay.

- So have you thought
of any names yet?

- Yeah, yeah, I have.

I'm thinking Hugo if it's a boy

and maybe Lisa if it's a girl.

- Oh, that's so cute.

- Jake.

Jake, I think there's
something up with the baby.

Please.

- Just saying he's not messaged
you in a while, has he?

- No, it's been a few
days, but he's really busy.

- Baby, I'm
sorry I wasn't there.

- Are you seeing someone else?

I'm not throwing it on you.

I've been saying
it for a long time

and I'm done now.
- Please.

No, I don't want you to go.
- Don't please me anymore.

- Don't leave.

- Don't start this again
because this is what you do.

- Baby. It's not my fault
that the baby's gone.

It's not my fault.
- We've talked about it.

We've talked about it
over and over again.

There's nothing else to say.

- Don't walk away.

Just stay with me, please.

- Stay with you for what?

- Just stay, please.
- For what?

- I don't want you to go.

Please, I promise I'll
be better. Please.

- This is what you
do all the time.

No, I can't do
this anymore, Jake.

- Just stay with me.

I'll be better, I
promise. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- She got
pregnant again soon after

and that arsehole still
didn't end it with me.

I had no fucking idea.

I don't know what I'd
have done if I'd known.

I like to think I
would've ended things, but

the last trip together
felt different.

We didn't have sex.

We didn't kiss,

didn't touch,

we didn't even really talk.

And the whole time we
were walking round,

I don't know, I just
kept thinking it,

it felt like an end.

It felt different.

And when we got home and
I didn't hear from you,

I did what any
logical, rational,

crazy ex would do.

I turned up at your house.

- I don't know about you babe,

but I'm absolutely starving.

You not getting that?

Should we do it with
some garlic bread?

- Oh, yeah. That sounds good.

Baby, could you
just take the bag.

I'm just gonna
make a phone call.

- Yeah,
I'll put tea on.

- What the fuck
are you doing here?

- Is that your girlfriend?

- Shut the fuck up.

Shut the fuck up.

If you turn up at my house
again I'll fucking kill you.

Do you hear me?

Fuck off.

- Jake?

Jake?

Jake?

What's wrong?

Babe, what's wrong?

- I can't breathe.
- What's up with you?

- What do you mean
you can't breathe?

What's wrong?

Baby, what's up with you?

Are you okay?

- Please, look at your mother.

Look at me.

Get a grip, all right?

Let them go.

Just let it all go. All right?

- And then he started
ignoring my messages

and it fucking hurt.

I started meeting people.

I wanted to be
treated like shit.

But none of them were him.

I mean, this guy's
not even close.

What are you gonna do to me?

- Yeah? What are you into?

- I want you to
tell me what to do.

Dominate me.

- Yeah?

I can be dominant.

Yeah. Yeah.

Was that too hard?

- No.
- No.

- What?

- Mate, it's not
really working is it.

- Oh, it is.
Come on, come on.

Get on the floor. Come on.

- He's blocked me on Instagram.

He's blocked me on Facebook.

Like all the socials.

Fucked off my number.

Like literally, he's not
spoke to me now for like

two months.

- Benji, if you
don't leave me alone,

I'll call the fucking police.

I'll get a restraining order.

Now, fuck off.

It's embarrassing.

Leaving to have me in your
life. You're obsessed.

- We had one last trip booked.

I turned up to the airport.

Yeah, I know it seems crazy,

but I thought he might be there.

And then, I got a
location pin from him and

I knew this was the last time
that I was ever gonna see him.

So here we are again
at the fucking end.

I mean, how did she not know

he was a little bit
gay with that car?

- Finally.

Listen.

Mate, you can't just turn
up at my house unannounced.

It's not on.

Why are you laughing?

You can't.

I've said that like,

there's certain boundaries
and you crossed it.

Mate, I can't.

I can't do this anymore.

Okay?

- Do you know I was sat
at the airport today

and I was thinking

so many fucking times, yeah,

that you could have
said to me, finish this.

Like, just like,

I don't understand like why
you fucking carried this on

and do you know how much
this has fucked me up?

- Fucking hell man.

Well, you were
having a good time

at the time though, weren't you?

- Well, you fucking used me.

- You used me.

- No, you fucking used me.

- Shut the fuck up.

Fucking shout at me.

Shut the fuck up.

- So when I was at yours, yeah,

the girl that I seen you with...

Yeah, what?

- So like when we first
met, were you with her?

- Yes.

- Okay.

So, go on then, what's her name?

- Whose fucking name?
- Whose fucking name?

Whose fucking name do you think?

- Olivia.

- Olivia.

- So when we used
to go away, right?

So you used to be having
sex with me, yeah,

you'd fly back and then what?

Would you just go
back and fuck her?

So we're just gonna
fuck it off then?

- Yeah, mate. Like
that's the end of it.

We've had a good time.

And to be honest mate,

you're quite lucky right now

to have come away with me

to like be sitting
here right now.

You're in a good position.

Like you've had a good time.

Like, look at you, look at me.

Have you not had a good time?

- Stop fucking
calling me mate.

- Like what?

- It's fucking weird.

- Mate, look at yourself.

When I saw you in the
airport, I thought,

fucking hell,

he looks like an easy target.

And I was right, wasn't I?

Look at you.

Fucking count yourself lucky.

You've had a good run.

Fuck off.

- Okay.

Good.

- I'm sorry.

When I saw you in the
airport that first time

I thought you were a 10

and I still think
you're a 10 now.

Right?

But like, what do you expect?

Life doesn't work like this.

I can't just drop everything

and run off with
you into the sunset.

It don't work like that.

I can't just...

I've got so much stuff
going on right now

and I can't just
walk away from them.

Can I?

I can't just abandon them.

I'm sorry.

- And then you feel it,

your body ready to purge
all of that negative energy,

to make you feel like you again.

- They say the
best way to move forward

is to go back and I
think they're right.

So thanks

for going back with me.

- What the actual fuck!

Fuck you screenwriter
above my head.

- Oh, thank you. Ta.

Shall we watch this.

- See you later.

All right.

- Hi.

- Nearly didn't make it.

- Well, you're here aren't you?

- Yeah.

- I was gonna say

it was really nice
meeting you and

you know, apart
from all this noise,

I'm not listening to anything.

It's just trying to
drown that out but

I was thinking
maybe, potentially,

we could maybe do
something when we get back.

- Yeah. Nice.
- Fancy that?

- Yeah, definitely.

- Some very nice Nozeco.

- Some...

- Some Italian food, maybe?

- Are you asking me out?

- No.

- Oh, right.

- I just...

- I'll go sit over there then

with the crying baby
if you want.

- Oh, no. Hey, do
you want these?

I feel sorry for,

for everyone.

- You're not listening
to them on this flight.

And then you realize that
you're ready to depart.

That you're ready to
start it all over again.

But this time it has
to be better because

no one wants a fucking sequel.

- Just before you go,

here's one last Snow White
and the Huntsman fantasy.

To be honest,

we just wanted to make a
fucking musical number.