Original subtitles

Previously on The Magicians...

When the moment comes, do it.

Mayakovsky told you what your discipline is?

Repair of small objects.

You did always excel at minor mending.

- I want you in my life. - I want that too.

The Binder knew Julia had many questions.

And he knew the answer.

So you can help me become a goddess again?

You're hoarding magic, trying to become a god?

By becoming one of them, I can rip their secrets away from them.

I redirected the power I need into a reservoir.

You're saying Josh is a fucking fish?

This should fix the whole fish deal. I'll bring Eliot back.

My sister... I need to find her a body.

So The Monster took Julia.

We need to find them.

We have the axes and the demon bottles. You have the incorporate bond.

Casting an incorporate bond strong enough to hold a god

would take an insane amount of power.

The question is, who put us here?

Our parents.

They're more vulnerable than you think. If we can get to their realm.

We had a key. A scroll.

Julia, if you're in there, I'm sorry.

Hey, Monster

Lady.

Adorable. So determined.

Maybe I'll keep you as pets.

Then again, I like my pets strong, and you're weak.

You're already fading, aren't you?

It worked. Q, the bond.

I don't know how long that's going to hold.

We need to get to Brakebills.

I have something that can help.

- We need to get her help. - Wait, where's Eliot?

We can't. We don't have enough. We have to go back to the reservoir.

After we get her to a doctor.

No, he's right. We have to go to the reservoir.

She's right.

Always gotta be a fucking twist.

In my office, under my desk, trap door,

Popper 22 to unlock. Don't put your hand in there.

Temperature's at absolute zero.

Should slow her down a bit. Go!

You're okay.

You wanna hurry that up?

Give her something for the pain at least!

I just did. Twice.

- Damn it. - Here, my last one. Use it on her.

You'll be okay. Stay with me.

Thank you, Henry.

Restraints, please!

You're okay.

What's happening to her?

So her body, which is very weird,

it keeps trying to close the wound

which is heavily enchanted

because the weapon was also very weird,

and it just tears itself right back open again.

Well, make it stop!

I hadn't thought of that, thank you.

I will use this to keep her comfortable and...

How long is she gonna be like this?

We are not in what I would call charted territory right now.

I think I might know someone.

It was a difficult choice for Penny 23

to even call upon The Binder.

The Binder was certain, however, that Penny 23 had made the right choice.

Julia, The Binder explained,

would remain in a cycle of wounding, agony, for millennia.

Her body required transformation.

Luckily...

...this was The Binder's expertise.

Well, great. Let's get on with it.

The Binder needed direction.

Initiate her long and arduous journey to full goddesshood

or revert her body to that of a mere human?

If it was up to me, that'd be a no-brainer.

Yeah, but it's not.

It should be her choice.

The Binder paused for Julia to make that choice.

Then dryly noted, she wasn't in a talking mood.

The Binder assumed he was

speaking with her husband or master?

No. No!

And yet the decision had to be made,

surely not,

The Binder reasoned, by this spinster nursemaid.

Uh, I run this hospital, Book.

Still, and The Binder replied,

stating the obvious to the strident female,

someone needed to choose for Julia.

Reed's Mark.

Best of bad options. Damage was done.

I'd rather not die, so it's fine on that level,

but also...

Look, I've no interest in being Batman,

but there comes a point when even selfish bros need to mobilize.

Six hedges, in the last 48 hours,

were pulled into vans by men wearing gray.

- Woke up at home with Reed's Marks. - Jesus.

The Library just stopped pretending.

They're rounding us up.

We need you.

You know what I wanted to do with my life?

To be?

Penny's goddamn girlfriend.

I acted tough, but all I wanted was him.

You're human.

I'm weak.

Kady, die when less people need you.

- Hey. - Hey.

Honestly, I feel like I've been run over

by six or eight trucks, but I'm fine.

And by fine, you mean...

What does it look like?

We need to talk about The Monster.

His sister. I saw her plan, her goal.

And it's way worse than slaughtering the entire Library.

They want to take it up with their parents, the Old Gods.

Wait, what does that even mean?

I don't know, and neither does she.

She just knows it would feel good to kill them

and eradicate us in some sort of insane nuclear winter

which she could give negative three shits about.

Do they know how to get to the Old Gods?

They found a spell, uh, in the Library.

It opens a door to their plane.

My guess is The Monster wants to find his sister,

finish the plan, kill the Old Gods

or get smashed to a pulp trying.

That means smash Eliot.

Well, the upside to them inhabiting our bodies

is she left this in my pocket.

Whatever's in this is sure to unlock the door.

Holy shit, well done.

Well, shit, I was ready to give up.

Welcome back.

Oh, oh!

- Towel? - Uh, yeah. Thank you.

So was it weird being a fish?

It felt, uh, very natural.

The weird part was

how you were so incredibly selfless

and, no offense, sweet.

- Which is... - Not on brand? I know.

Anyone who really knows me

knows that I'll do anything if I love you.

Listen, Hoberman, don't be stupid.

I'm not actually fun or easy when I'm in love.

Fun and easy are overrated.

- Oh, Christ. Not my day. - Oh! Uh...

Oh, hi! Sorry, I just un-fished.

So, anyone else super hungry?

I'm craving fish sticks.

Is that weird? You know what? I'm just gonna go with it.

Where's Eliot?

Did you do it?

We got one so far.

You didn't save Eliot, did you?

Of course you didn't.

You cocked it up trying to save Julia.

- That bitch has a bulletproof body. - Not anymore.

We don't even know if Eliot's still alive.

Yeah, it was a shit-show.

You don't even know what the hell was going on.

You had one fucking job...

Yeah, fuck off, Margo.

Oh, Jesus Herbert Walker Christ.

You're predictable, you know that?

Whoa.

- What the shit? - Oh, my God!

It just came out of me so strong.

Guys, I think I have some special fish magicks.

Oh!

Act out, right?

Or you touched the reservoir and you got dosed up.

Yeah, that makes a thousand times more sense.

But still pretty act out worthy, no?

- Hello, Kady. - How are you, Zelda?

I understand you're angry.

No, see, that'd require actual human feelings.

Kady...

You piece-of-shit, pearl-clutching sociopathic...

None of this was calculated on my part.

Everett...

I have believed in his goodness for over a century.

Everett is in it for Everett.

If you are right, then all the death,

all of it,

it's on my hands.

Look,

I know you're not evil.

Just the definition of obedience.

I used to be.

Prove it.

Hmm. Man, I'm good.

Yeah. Great, thanks.

So you... So you feel okay?

Yeah, thanks.

And by thanks I mean thank you for deciding that I should age,

grow old, and probably die from a paper cut.

Oh, yeah, and that I'll never get to do magic again

because I'm perfect now.

Did Professor Lipson tell you?

I am perfectly normal.

And we all know magic doesn't come from normal,

so thank you for deciding that without me.

I, um...

Have to do that thing.

Look, it was a shit decision.

- It was my decision. - I know.

Do you? 'Cause I don't.

I will never know.

I just know that this is not how it was supposed to be.

Okay, truth, I was selfish.

You were in pain

and it was never going to stop, and I couldn't.

And you know what?

I would do it again to not lose you again.

Wait.

Penny.

You just stay here and let me be pissed at you.

I can do that.

So Everett wants to be a god.

And now he's so juiced that

he can just rip the god power right out of Eliot.

So why don't we just let him?

So let that psycho book-fondler rip The Monster out of Eliot

and probably kill him?

Hey, come on. Where are you going?

She's pissed at me,

but more pissed at herself for being so pissed.

She's not great at apologizing,

so she's going to walk around

until she calms down and hope I forget.

She's right. Anything where he could die is off the table.

- Hello. - Shit! I mean, hi.

Where is my sister?

And where is the scroll?

"The scroll"?

Answer me now.

Um, what does it look like again?

Ahh!

No.

I don't like you, do I?

I have no idea,

but I can assure you, you will hate me.

Ahh!

Hello!

Ahh!

You did it.

What an achievement, huh? Two humans!

Task 764 is usually what trips your kind up.

But, hey, as we say in Linear Base Binary,

"Infinite time is just a parabolic lost sock."

Right?

Right?

You do speak

Linear Base Binary, don't you?

No? Then how did you complete Task 764

or the rest of the 1,293?

Okay, so we're not on a quest.

- We were. - Yeah, last year.

- Crushed it. - Totally, except for the part

that we're trying to fix now.

Wait, wait, wait, hold on.

How do you have the Resonant Singularity Scroll?

Kind of by accident.

My fish magicks went off and...

No, don't.

I was not trained for this eventuality.

We just want to talk to an Old God.

Do you now?

Let me explain this in a way that you might understand.

A chihuahua

just demanded a blowjob from an archangel.

Hmm? Also I am not explaining fish magicks to my bosses.

It's a real...

Also

tee time.

No, come on. No, hang on! Hang on.

Look, we need the Old Gods, but they need us too!

Need you? Hubris much?

Five minutes? Please.

So the Old Gods wouldn't maybe be a little bit motivated to help

once we told them about the...

Not really. Those monsters...

Sorry nobody told you, but they can't be killed.

Then why create them at all?

Why are nickels bigger than dimes?

Huh. Why are nickels bigger than dimes?

Stop. Wait, so there's no way to stop them?

Yes!

You said kill. They can be stopped.

And can you think of any good reason

why your bosses wouldn't want us to do that?

I mean, if they don't have to actually do anything,

can't hurt.

Okay, boys, here's my advice.

Drop 'em in the Seam.

The Seam?

This is ridiculous! You're imbeciles!

Not arguing that, but the Seam

between what exactly?

This universe and, you know, the antiverse.

Where everything's all dead?

Oh.

So we go to the dead-verse?

Duck-on-a-muffin! No!

You go up to the Seam, you drop the suckers in.

And that would be

- where? - Use your heads, guys.

The Seam's not quite sealed.

What could that mean? Oh!

Maybe it leaked and created a weird little pocket world

where everything's all backwards and lifeless.

Like the Mirror World?

Sure, not a bad name.

So you go there, you find the Seam,

and whatever you toss in

will never ever come back out again.

I am insanely late.

Here you go.

To the victors.

Cake.

Okay, but the Mirror Realm's an entire world.

How are we gonna find the Seam?

God damn it.

I don't think I could ever eat non-Old God cake again.

Perfection is a curse.

Oh. Right.

Find the Seam. Guy didn't say.

We don't have to go looking for it.

I think I know where it is.

There's this place, this door,

and what's behind it felt different.

"Different," like?

Like I knew I shouldn't go near it even when I was a Niffin.

Well, perfect, we should definitely all walk right in there.

So according to Fogg, The Monster's out there right now,

confused for as long as that spell will last.

23, if you can travel us out there,

we have an opportunity to surprise him.

Now this is where we open up the room for pitches,

because I accidentally lost all my fish magicks,

and now none of us has the juice to do the bond.

Well, what about Dean Fogg?

I mean, he's got to have an extra battery, right?

Uh, nothing powerful enough. We asked.

There has to be something else.

There is.

Hedge witches.

Can barely tie their shoes.

Fuck you.

And also, you're wrong.

A huge untapped pool.

Look, they're used to crumbs

and, yes, ambient is low,

but you know what amplifies it?

Cooperative magic.

We tell everyone,

and I mean all over the world, wherever there's a pipe,

Fillory, even,

and we all do the same thing at the same time.

You can't get that many people to cooperate.

This isn't Sesame Street.

There are some shitty hedges,

but there are enough good ones that we could pull this off,

and we need them.

Kady's right, this is a good idea.

We need a way to get the message out fast, to time it right.

- Yeah. - I've got someone who can help.

They'd have to keep casting the entire time

so we can keep The Monsters in the bottles

till we get them through the Seam.

This is right on the hairy edge of what I'd even call a plan.

Hey, Q, can we talk for a sec?

Yeah.

I've been thinking...

Me too. I think that, um,

you should tell me where the Seam is so that I can do it.

Why you?

Because I'm better equipped to...

Because I want you to be safe.

I want you to be safe.

- Are you saying that you... - No, I'm saying that we've...

We've tried the whole "saving each other" thing

with mixed results.

Yeah. Sure, but I...

I've been thinking about what works best,

and I think... No, I know we are best when we're a team.

Okay, when me and you together.

If nothing else, I like the sound of it.

Because it's true.

So it's decided?

Okay, people, let's do this.

If you need to touch butts, make it quick,

we got a multiverse to save.

How does she know our thing?

Stop torturing yourself.

- I want to help. - Julia, it's gonna be okay.

Or it won't.

You're just zen because you think this is it.

What other Penny told you, some big thing you have to do.

No.

I'm zen 'cause there's a lot scarier shit than dying.

And right now, I'm looking at you, so I'm good.

Bye, Julia.

Bye.

There's something I want you to know, sister.

This world, it's not just the bad things or the ones who wronged us.

There is...

There is such beauty in everything.

Even the quiet,

especially the quiet.

Hey!

Hey, motherfucker!

Eliot.

Eliot?

Eliot, stay with me.

Now!

Eliot!

Ooh

All this time when we walk

We won't feel

But sometime in a box

It won't steal you

Oh, this time when I walk

I won't feel, I won't feel

Oh, this time when I talk

It's not real, it's not real

Not real

Eliot.

If there's a tunnel with Grandma,

tell her to piss off and come back to me,

you selfish fuck! Get back here!

Eliot.

Eliot, please.

Eliot!

Well, when you put it so sweetly, Bambi, hmm?

Do something, please!

They need all the ambient for those bottles.

What is the point of being a magician if you can't use it?

Before I was a magician, I was a trauma surgeon.

I'm perfectly capable of saving him the old-fashioned way.

If you need to cry, go outside.

- They holding? - Yeah, for now, but we have to hurry.

Okay, home is right through here.

We do this, we move quick.

Okay, remember, no traveling

and no magic.

It goes bad fast here.

- Alice? - Just give me a sec.

We'll listen to your gut next time.

It's the lab. Why?

Who cares?

Careful.

That's it.

It's the Seam.

Okay, let's do this.

Okay, let me...

Everett.

Quentin...

That's mine.

Hand it over, please.

You know you can't cast in here.

I know.

Mutually assured destruction.

Which is why you'll give it to me.

You tried.

You did. I'm impressed.

But that bond won't hold.

Give it to me before The Monster gets out

and everything goes far more shit-shaped.

Quentin, I think you need to...

Your friend Eliot is safe. I'll let you go.

Just let me handle this.

You'll become a god.

And you've met gods, but I won't be like them.

I studied them so I could do better, be better.

Trust me.

Okay.

Okay, I get it.

Okay.

You always were smarter than the books gave you credit for.

It'll be okay, Q.

In fact, you'll go down as a hero.

I'll make sure of it.

Take her, do it now.

No... No!

- What did you do? - Just some minor mending.

- Quentin! - Give it to me!

Hey.

Been awhile.

Welcome to the Underworld.

Oh, shit.

Really?

What's this?

Hot chocolate.

I'm dead, but there's still hot chocolate.

That's a good sign.

What did I do?

What do you think you did?

I don't know. It happened so fast.

This is the part where I can't lie, right?

I mean, my whole life is...

Revealed.

But it only means anything if you reveal it to yourself.

Okay.

Um...

Most of my life, I've been in and out of hospitals and...

You know,

just suicidal thoughts and notes.

A lot of notes.

Attempts and...

Meds and therapy and then...

Then I found Brakebills.

And all that went away.

I... I...

I thought, but...

But?

Did I do something brave to save my friends

or did I finally find a way to kill myself?

Okay.

I can see we're going to need

the deluxe package, which... It's okay.

No surprise.

Let's go.

I don't know what to say.

I mean, what words are ever going to...

They won't.

We're talking away

I don't know what I'm to say

I'll say it anyway

Today's another day to find you

Shying away

I'll be coming for your love, okay?

Take on me

Take on me

Take me on

Take on me

I'll be gone

In a day or two

So needless to say

I'm odds and ends

But that's me

I'm stumbling away

Slowly learning that life is okay

Say after me

It's no better to be safe than sorry

Take on me

Take on me

Take me on

Take on me

I'll be gone

In a day or two

Wow.

Appreciate the level of sincere grief, dude.

I seem to remember when I kicked it,

you laughing.

I'm really sorry about that.

It's okay.

I've met you.

I think you know your answer now.

The story for them, it's just starting,

but it won't be the same story because of you.

You didn't just save their lives,

you changed their lives

as much as they changed yours.

You didn't want to leave all that, did you?

It's time to say goodbye.

All right, just one last look.

Oh, the things that you say

Is it a life

Orjust to play my worries away?

You're all the things I've got to remember

Shying away

I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me

Take me on

Take on me

I'll be gone

In a day or two

I'll be gone

In a day or two

Are they gonna be okay?

Oh, yeah.

Once they reach here, just fine.

No, up there.

Oh...

Up there.

You'll notice control is done

with the ring finger positioning.

If you watch...

And the blood, it feels like

we're never going to get it all out.

Then we tear down and rebuild,

which is probably long overdue.

I got here as fast as I could.

Thank you.

With so few Librarians, each is precious.

We're lucky you're still here to run this place.

Oh, no.

No, I can't do that.

Your humility is charming, but this isn't the time.

I know what I'm capable of,

what I feel...

It should not be me.

I know exactly who we need, but I'm not sure they...

We need you to go find someone

and do your very best to convince them to come and help us.

Alice Quinn.

Eliot and Margo?

Yeah.

Almost kind of funny.

Funny "ha-ha" or funny "uh-oh"?

God, this feels so good.

It sure does.

Okay. Let's see what-the-what with getting un-banished,

my throne back, and my man for some white-hot grief banging.

I'm sorry.

That came out way harsher than I thought.

It's okay.

It's going to be weird for a little while,

so we're just going to have to...

Margo.

The fuck did they do to my castle?

Uh, pardon me, sir.

Crazy question,

but Fillory is still ruled by Acting High King Fen, right?

If this is some kind of loyalty test...

Uh, no, no. Uh...

We've just been away for awhile.

The Dark King reigns, glory to his rule.

High King Fen and Josh the Fresh Prince

were overthrown 300 years ago.

The gods curse them both.

Have a good day.

The one that I'm the most worried about is Julia.

I know.

She's fought so hard for magic.

She's been in a weird place.

Then she comes to the end of this crazy journey

and feels at peace.

And magic?

Comes from pain.

Goodbye, Q.

Q, are you doing this?

Holy shit.

I'm doing this.

Did you... Did you just see that?

- I... - Yeah.

So what are you going to do with it?

What happens next?

Learn to love the mysteries, man.

Can I ask you something?

Yes, I'm nicer.

All that stuff that we think

protects us or motivates us or scares us up there,

here it just all falls away.

You're finally just you.

You'll see.

This is as far as I go, brother.