All language subtitles for the.magicians.us.s04e11.720p.bluray.x264-mayhem

Previously on The Magicians...

Everett's trying
to squeeze out hedges.

This is just
more of the same.

We're here to study
with Mayakovsky.

- We hear he's crazy.
- You heard wrong!

So wait.

So you turned Mayakovsky
into a bear?

I can help.

Just let me stay.

You saved my life.
You can save my life 50 times.

It's not gonna change
anything between us.

Goodbye, Alice.

The Poison Room. It's where we store books
too dangerous for the public.

You must seek the Binder.

This was
in the Mirror World.

And I heard you were looking
for the Binder, so...

Holy shit.

Foremost saved them

with special weapons
that expel possession.

They call them ice axes,

and I'm assuming
that's poetic license.

So we might have
a chance to save Eliot.

But Hot and Dumb
just wasn't getting it.

And that's when I told
the Foreskin,

"Welcome to the New
Desert Order.

"It's gonna suck for you."

Wow. You really went through
a lot to get those axes.

Call them by their names.

Sorrow,

- and Sorrow.
- Nice.

Where'd you get
the axes from?

Fine. I'll tell it
one more time.

So I'm all, "Welcome to the New Desert Order.

"Gonna suck for you."

What's gonna suck?

Telling this story over again.

And so I was like,

"Welcome to the New Desert Order.
Gonna suck for you."

- What did I miss?
- I'm getting a smoothie.

You fuckers take this.

You seriously...
You spent that much time in the desert,

and this never
occurred to you?

We're dealing
with god-level monsters.

Who possess people.

Those axes
pull the spirits out,

and then
we bottle them up. Bam!

FTW.

All he's saying
is they're too powerful.

I doubt your bottles
can hold that shit.

Those monsters are coming for us.
Make it work.

Okay, but how?

We could cast an incorporate bond
on the bottles.

Thank you.

I don't know what that is,
but I hate you less now.

It's a way to pin a being
or object in place.

It's like a fourth-dimensional
paperweight.

Mayakovsky was trapped
under one for years.

We just need
to pin The Monster to your bottles

long enough
to get rid of them.

Great.
Let's do that shit, then.

So who knows
how to cast an incorporate bond?

I did cast an incorporate bond
on Mayakovsky,

but I didn't
write the spell myself.

So who wrote it?

Mayakovsky did.

He didn't know
I was going to use it on him.

He was the only person
capable of writing a spell

which he couldn't break.

He knows more things
about incorporate bonds

than anyone else does.

You wanted a spell
to trap a god, yes?

Well... He's the real expert.

- But he's also a bear.
- Not exactly.

You see, once magic came back,
he was able to become human. Again.

Much to his wife's dismay.

So where is he now?

He went back
to Brakebills South?

- I mean, why?
- Brakebills isn't using it.

There's not enough magic
for the geese to make it.

I found that out
the hard way.

Rest in peace, first years.

So, I guess we have to go down there
and talk to Mayakovsky?

Sounds like a plan.

You two have fun
talking to that old drunk.

No.

Wait. Margo, Margo, hey.
I just... I... There's, um...

Things are still kinda weird
between me and Alice, and I just...

Mmm-hmm, and I'm still rinsing
desert sand out of my twat, all right?

I'm not going
to fucking Antarctica.

Grow a pair of tits,
Coldwater.

Jesus, it's cold.

I forgot
my scarf, so...

Good luck
with that.

If it makes you
feel any better,

I don't wanna be alone with you, either.
I never said that.

Yes, you did.
I heard you say that to Margo.

Let's just not start
by lying to each other.

Okay. Look,
I don't want to be here,

but we're here,
so let's just get it over with.

Quentin.

Shit.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Professor.

Mayakovsky.

Professor?

Mayakovsky did this
to himself.

He designed a spell to swap
his present consciousness

with one
from a different time.

He called it
a timeshare spell.

So that's
not our Mayakovsky?

Not mentally, no.

Based on these notes
and his current state,

I think he's from the future,
where...

Mayakovsky has dementia.

- Great.
- Well, it was an accident.

He inverted two of
the numbers in the spell.

So, how do we undo it?

He's the only one who can.

I don't think
we can help him, Quentin.

We may have hit a dead end.

Unless I talk to him
in the past.

You wanna steal Everett's book
from the Poison Room?

It's the only way we can
get ahead of him, but...

I need your help.

Penny died 'cause of going
in there, so... No.

I can get us
in and out unharmed,

but protocol dictates

Librarians enter
the Poison Room in pairs.

For safety.

Fogg can do it.

Unfortunately,
I cannot leave Brakebills.

The Library has been
up my ass.

They're even threatening
to put monitors

in all my classrooms.

Henry has a point.
It would draw undue attention.

Oh, to the fact
that he's a fucking coward?

You don't get to be
a Magician my age, dear,

without a very healthy sense
of self-preservation.

Kady.

Please.

I mean, if this
is a real language,

it is a dead one
that nobody's ever written about.

Well, maybe
it's not a language.

Maybe it's...

Ow! Goddamn paper cut!

Cocksucking book bit me.

It did!

Why is this book
suddenly blank?

Hey, wait a minute.
Is that writing there?

I can barely make it out.

My God. I think it's written
in Margo's blood.

It wants blood,
I got blood.

BRB.

- Is that...
- Yep.

It's shark week.
You can thank my uterus later.

This is in Latin.

I can't cast.
Um, you better have a look at it.

Oh...

Oh, come on!

And the Binder
stood before them,

and as they stared,
eyes full of wonder,

the Binder
thought to himself...

"Took you long enough."

- He's in there?
- Yes.

And he's at an acquisitions meeting,
which should give us

enough time to copy it.

Okay, thanks.
Check back with me later.

- Everett.
- Zelda.

- How was the meeting?
- Detailed. I snuck out.

What are you doing here?

I was hoping we could talk.

In your office, perhaps.

Of course.

The Binder knew Julia
had many questions.

She'd been searching in vain
for how to reacquire her divinity.

He knew the answer.

Hey, what's with

all the third-person,
past-tense bullshit?

The Binder had no idea
what she was talking about.

Hmm.

The Binder explained
he had answers,

but it would require
they learn how he came to be.

To be...

To be...

The Binder felt dizzy.

His book was a...

Oh, it was somehow...

It was somehow...

Missing pages.

I think he's broken.

The fuck?

When did this happen?

I don't know.

He was talking normal
a second ago.

Normal for him.
My God.

What the hell?

Fen? Tick?

Guys, the weirdest thing
just happened.

I was eating a biscuit,
not off the floor,

and I had a kind of vision.

Still good.

Last looks.

Eating Out
with Josh Hoberman.

Scene one,
take one. Marker.

I'm eating what?

But no one in Fillory has a TV

so why am I questioning this?

Action!

Any baker worth their gluten knows a biscuit

is only as good as its flour.

Add a drizzle
of lavender-infused honey,

and trust me, you'd eat this
right off the floor.

The Winds of Fate.
They've come unseasonably early this year.

I think this is a sign
that Fillory's in trouble.

Early Winds of Fate,
Lorian plants silencing the animals,

too many questing creatures.

Seriously, it sounds
like Fillory's ecosystem

is completely jacked
and not in a sexy way.

Interesting you should
say that.

Not long ago,
we imprisoned a Naiad

for committing moderate acts of
violence against some farmers.

She deboned one of them.

- Really great knife skills.
- Jesus.

Anyway, I recall her
saying something

about Fillory's
failing ecosystem,

but she was covered in guts,
and that's really hard to get past.

- Been there. Get that
- Let's talk to her.

Okay.

Hello, Ismenie.
I brought you some visitors today.

Oh, God!

Am I the only one getting
The Ring/Grudge- type vibes here?

She's a Naiad.

Why do you dry-skins
torture me?

I came to you with a warning.

Yes, yes.
You also attacked several farmers.

That was my warning.

They were stealing my water,
an assault on my very soul.

She protects a well.

What if your blood
lived outside of your skin

and thoughtless things drank it,
bathed in it, peed in it?

Yes, well, I'm afraid we have
a few questions we need to ask

about Fillory's ecosystem.

I told you all before,
it is The Waters.

They are moving.

It is the fault
of the Thirteenth.

The Thirteenth.

The thirsty Thirteenth.

He tried to capture us,
dam us in.

Water should flow free.

What he built,
there is no excuse for it.

What did he build?

We're done here, dry-skins.

No, we are not done here!

Once you're there,

you can't do anything
or say anything to anyone that'll...

Risk changing the past.

I get it.
I've been to the movies.

This is serious, Quentin.

The bridge between your past self
and your present self is...

Is delicate.
If you break it...

Look, as long as you wipe
past me's memory, we'll be fine.

I have a memory charm
ready to go.

We'll set the spell
so it takes you back

to where we were
at Brakebills South.

Just go straight
to Mayakovsky's office

- and don't talk to anyone.
- I won't.

Alice? How did I get up here?

Alice, I...

Oh, um...

Oh, God. Alice...

Mmm-mmm.

Alice, wait.
No, I just have to...

- What's wrong?
- No, no, no. It's fine.

Mmm-mmm.

No, I just... I got to...

What did I do?

You? No, no, it's me.
I'm the problem.

I, um...

Just... I forgot condoms.

So I'm just gonna...

What am I doing
on the table?

Just stand still.

Whose clothes
am I wearing?

Shit, there's no more magic.

Alice, what's going on?
How did we get here?

Uh, I heard that
sometimes Mayakovsky

randomly teleports students
to the lab for testing

to keep us
on our toes.

Uh, okay,
I hadn't heard that, but...

No, no, it's a real thing
that he does.

Uh, look, there must be
some sort of test.

Um...

Knots.

Yeah, we need
to tie these into knots

for magic purposes,
like, for sure.

All right, I guess that could be worse.

Yes?

Hello?

Oh, thank Christ.
I didn't think I'd get through.

The phones here work off
of GPS coordinates, not numbers.

Well, you were close.

Listen, I don't have
a lot of time.

We need your help.

Surviving
first-year students...

I'm here

to teach you

what not to do.

Let's begin with a cloaking spell,
shall we?

Which, unfortunately,
you will never do

because the Library,

they don't want you
to know it.

Did you see that?

Now forget it,
because if you learn it,

you'll be
in very, very serious trouble.

Damn it!

Good God!

Cock shit!

Surely you didn't come here

just to gossip about Phyllis.

You don't think her perfumes
are a danger to the books?

I think she smokes
and doesn't want anyone to know.

But we all do.

It's good to see you smiling.

Been worried about you.

You seem distant lately.

I wondered
if something had happened.

If anything were wrong,
I'd tell you.

You would.

Well, I'm here for you.
You know that, right?

Yes?

Sorry to interrupt,
but there has been an incident.

It's Fogg.

Perhaps it's time
for someone to talk to him

- who isn't a friend.
- Of course.

- Thank you for the tea.
- Mmm-hmm.

Where the hell
did Margo go?

I thought
she came in here.

What's with
the honeymoon suite?

Huh, that was, uh...

You didn't do that, did you?

I can't do that.

Okay, seriously?

Margo?

Margo?

Some weird-ass ghost
shoved me in a closet.

Yeah.

I can see your non-corporeal
panty-sniffing ass

with my goddamn fairy eye.

- Ghost?
- Or whatevs.

He keeps shaking his head.

I can't hear you.

Keeps pointing at you
for some reason.

Penny 23.

Isn't this just berries?

I'm here because
you changed my life, Penny.

I mean, not you, Penny 40.
But basically you.

When he died/became
my astral best friend...

- Yeah, I seriously doubt that.
- Oh, my.

You sound just like P-40
right now. Whoa.

Can we get to the part
where you explain

- why you're here, please.
- Welp.

You guys
are my favorite characters.

Only you disappeared.

So, I left Brakebills
to find out what happened.

And when I did, hoo-boy,
this plot was a mess.

You mean my life?

And I realized,
I'm done watching.

I want to participate.

And you... The other you...

Great twist...
Showed me how to do that.

Turns out I can be stuff

at a level
I never imagined possible.

Is that why Margo
is tied up in a closet

and you're lighting candles,
playing sexy music?

Patience, Kemosabe.

I'll get there.

Yeah, that's offensive.

But I thought you were Indian?

- What?
- Anyhootch, I had a thought.

I... I mean, in my day,
you two would sip a little giggle water

and get a wiggle on,
but instead we're just...

Waiting. Yawn.

You mean all this insane shit
that is happening

is to get me and Julia
to hook up?

I mean after that little naked interlude
in Fillory...

- You watched that?
- Yeah.

I know a true thing when I see it,
buster, and you're it.

Listen, Hyman, if you stole
the pages from the Binder,

we need them back. Now.

Or I will sic Margo on you.

Maybe I overstepped,

but you just gotta understand
I see what you and Julia keep doing

and I worry
about the both of you.

What are we doing?

You both sacrifice
your own joy to help others.

Julia gave up all that power,
and you...

I mean, other Penny
died because of it.

Yeah, when I think about it,
it's a sad twist.

You can't blame me for wanting
the two of you to be happy,

because you will
never do it for yourself.

Hey, wet 'n' wild, you said everything's
the fault of the Thirteenth

But all mention of him
has been stricken from the archives.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist,
but I'm workin' on a theory

there might be a conspiracy.

Somebody erased this guy
magically.

But you know his name,
don't you?

I will not speak it.

Oh, yes, you will.

Wait, what are you doing?

I went all the way
to your well,

and if you don't tell us
what we need to know

I am going to drink it
and then I'm going to pee it

and then Josh
is going to drink it.

Yeah! Wait, what?

- You monster!
- Tick, you can't do this.

Dude, yeah,
that's sort of like torture.

I thought we were
against that.

- We are.
- She's the only one who knows the name

of the Thirteenth King
and she is gonna tell us!

Please, please! You can't.

No!

Ram's bottom, what was it?

The Thirteenth,
the Thirteenth...

It's Roderick!
"Thirsty Roderick,

"thirteenth of his line,
always liked to have a good time."

Oh, my God, you're right.

- About what?
- A nursery rhyme.

I've been trying
to remember it all day.

We used to sing it
while playing Bearskip.

It's a children's game,
sort of like Fillorian hopscotch.

- Involving bears?
- Ideally skipping them.

"He hides his drink
from his many daughters."

"Builds a cistern
to hoard the waters."

"Underneath the castle fair."

"If you jump,
you'll skip the bear!"

Okay.

Your nursery rhyme
used the word "cistern"?

Well, how else are children
supposed to learn

about underground
water containment systems?

- You people are sick.
- Wait.

He built underground
water containment systems?

Ismenie, you said,
"The Waters, they are moving."

But were you really
talking about water?

She's always talking
about water.

Unless she's talking
about magic.

A huge reservoir of magic,
hidden underneath the castle.

That could be what's causing
all the stuff we're seeing.

Wait, wait.

I think I know
how we can get to it.

Follow me!

Okay.

God, it hurts!

An incorporate bond?

Why do you suddenly
need to know this?

Uh, it's just something
that I've been wondering about.

You're serious?

You could be having fox sex
with your partner, the better Magician.

I realize that.

She could do incorporate bond.

And she's chosen to have sex
with you for some reason.

You should be having as much
sex with her as you can

before she realizes.

Thank you
for the relationship advice,

an area that I'm sure
that you are an expert in.

Oh, little pushback
from B-minus student.

- I like this.
- I'm just saying,

there is something
that you are an actual expert in

- that I need to know about.
- Right.

You "need" to know
how to cast an incorporate bond.

- What is your discipline?
- What?

Your discipline,
B-minus student,

or did you leave that back
in your tiny fox pants?

They tested me.

Inconclusive.

Well, that is a problem.

Can't cast incorporate bond
without your discipline.

There's got to be
some kind of workaround.

Nope.

Come back
when you're fully formed.

Come on. There's got to be
something that you can do.

I need this.

Fine. Drink that.

This will help
with the test or...

It will kill brain cells.
I have plenty to spare.

You don't, but...

I don't want to drink alone.

So this is it, huh?

Before we go in,
there's a small matter of protection.

- Swallow it.
- Well, what is it?

Insects.

Don't chew. They have
to go down whole

so they can eat any poison
you take into your bloodstream.

The bugs only last an hour,
so we need to be quick.

There is something
you're not telling me.

What? No, that's not true.

You're a very bad liar,
B-minus.

More like D-plus on this.

And I don't have
to tell you anything

until you tell me
what you're hiding.

It's complicated.

You're from future, yes?

What?

What is in there is older
than what is in there.

Yeah. Yes, fine. I am.

I... Not me, me,
but my consciousness.

I came here to ask you
about incorporate bonds.

Why didn't you ask me
in your time?

I am dead or something?

No. Look, I can't tell you
anything else.

I can't risk messing
with the past.

Blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah,

I've seen
Back to the Future.

You want to fuck your mother
in past?

- What? No.
- Why? She not attractive?

Look. I just can't tell you any more
about how I did this...

I already know.
You use timeshare spell.

I've been working on it.

Clearly I must have
finished it.

And don't worry.

Future is safe.

Everything you say
is in the vault.

This vault.

I will definitely not remember anything
about this conversation

like most conversations
I have with students

like you, D-plus.

This basis
for incorporate bond.

We are done here.

You never told me
my discipline.

Repair of small objects.

Really?

Hope we did not ruin

your big plans after you get back
to your mysterious future,

Mr. Time Traveler.

Tell my older self...

"Well done."

Um...

Shit.

Alice.

What the hell, Q?

What did you cast?

Some sort of spell
to make your future self

take over
your past self's body?

What happens that made you
have to do this?

I can't tell you that.

Well, can you talk
about what's happening with us?

Of course you can't.
Paradox rules apply.

I can't risk
changing the past.

I could get lost forever.

- I could do a memory charm.
- Alice.

I know one that will erase my memory
for the last hour.

Okay. Yeah, sure.

Why?

So we can talk about the way
you looked at me

when you came back.

There was so much

pain.

A lot of things
have happened.

How bad?

Pretty goddamn bad.

What happens?

You, uh, get hurt.

We both do.

So would you rather
I just stop this now

so that we never have
to feel the way you feel?

Look, you're a nice guy, Q,
for trying to warn me.

I'm not trying to...

But I'm not scared
of the future.

I'm scared of losing this.

Maybe it's crazy and hopeless
where you live,

but, you know,
maybe I never told you this,

but you are the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

So,

when you go back,

just remember that, okay?

What do you think
made Mayakovsky so bitter?

- Huh?
- And, like, obsessed

with the vulpine sex
of his two students?

Yeah, it's weird,
isn't it?

No, no, it's totally normal.
He's a normal guy.

These are normal school situations.

Seriously, though,
you think that he would notice

if we stopped
tying these knots?

Probably. We shouldn't.

Hey.

Crazy idea.

What if we stopped
tying the knots and instead we...

Hmm?

- Um...
- Hmm?

Ooh, yeah. We could do it
on the table.

Quentin!

I don't... It was hotter
in my head.

Hmm? Oh.

Sorry, Vix. You okay?

Yeah, no. I'm fine.

Yeah, you are.

That was nice.

- Alice.
- Yeah?

Uh, it's me.
I'm... I'm back.

Oh...

The Binder's story
began in a place

known simply as

the Library.

You were a Librarian?

He did say it started
in the Library.

I mean, it's fucking obvious.

He was studying

the limits of power.

His specialty was the magic
inherent in gods.

Great. A puppet show.

The Binder had a theory.

When a being of great power,
such as a god, is killed,

their energy is lost,
but he believed it could be preserved

by binding it
to an object.

That object, in turn,
could be bound

to a Magician of sufficient
training and preparation,

effectively turning
the Magician into a god.

Yeah, but every time
a mortal tries to kill a god,

all magic gets shut off.

The Binder
politely reminded Margo that

not every story was about her.

So the Binder
is a catty bitch?

He continued.

It was a problem
that perplexed

the Binder
and his fellow Librarians,

but, as it turned out,

the old gods themselves
provided a solution.

Two siblings. Mistakes.

Born with the power
of many gods.

They were created
with one unique quality

that made them essential
to this experiment.

They could not die.

So no matter what you did to them,
it wouldn't trigger

the old gods
to take away magic.

Without fear
of the old gods' retribution,

The Librarians were safe
to move forward with their experiment.

One of the Monsters
was captured,

the older, more dominant one.
The female.

Natch.

The one left behind
would be confused,

afraid, like a child.

Without his sister, he'd have trouble
even remembering them.

What did you do to the sister?

She was split into four parts.

Each part bound in a stone.

Each stone bound
in a Librarian.

Bacchus. Iris.
Heka. Aengus.

Those ballsacks.

When they were finished,

the Binder came to regret
what he had done.

But the new gods he had built
were afraid of him.

He alone held the secret
that could make them human again.

And so...

They cursed him.

They turned you
into a book.

Okay. That does kind of suck.

In that form, he became something
they could control.

Hide from the rest
of The Order, from history.

It was only by chance
that a young Librarian read his book

and was convinced

to hide the Binder
in the Mirror World,

where he hoped no one
would find him again.

Until word reached the Binder
of Julia Wicker,

and her quest.

He knew he had
the answers she sought.

So you can help me
become a goddess again?

He could take her
in either direction.

The godhood, or humanity.

The choice was hers.

Either road would be painful.

He wondered aloud
if she was ready.

You and me both.

The Binder knew she needed time
to consider which way to go.

But either way,

he'd need a favor in return.

He needed her
to burn his book.

He did not want
to be used again.

Like he was before.

I got it.

Do we have time for that?

First thing you learn
in The Order is how to speed read.

Everett's been lying
to all of us.

It's just as we suspected.

He's been hoarding magic.

To do what?

To become a god.

And if this book is correct,

he succeeds.

The floor in this hallway
is laid out

in the exact pattern
of a Bearskip board.

Now, that can't
just be a coincidence.

Can't it though?

Just jump forward
three squares.

Okay.

Not the dragon!

Watch the sloth!

- Now duck.
- Duck?

- There's a bear on your right.
- Seriously?

- That one got my leg.
- Okay!

Oh, no. Don't get me, bear!

Because you successfully
"skipped the bear,"

you get to throw
the sweetberry.

And I throw it
at the last whatever?

The hibernation square.

Okay. Jeez.

Oh, yes! You did it.

Huh.

That is still good.

I say what again?

Oh, right. Right, right.

Honey or die!

- Where does it lead?
- Only one way to find out.

Seriously?

Perfect timing.

We should return
right between shift changes.

That's good.

Is it weird I've had this
chocolate taste in my mouth?

As the bugs absorb more poison,
the aftertaste changes.

It's when you taste mint
we're in real trouble.

Okay.

It's locked.

Don't you have the key?

The key is for the other side.

Someone locked us in.

I have worse news.

I just tasted mint.

Hmm.

You think Hyman
is right?

What he said about us?

God, I don't know if that man
has any fucking clue

what's going on, but maybe.

'Cause I've been thinking
about becoming a goddess a lot.

How to do it without screwing up
like the other gods did.

I don't know.

Maybe I should give
some airtime to the alternative.

Becoming human?

I mean being happy.

Okay.

Pros and cons.
You become a goddess,

you get all powered up.

Maybe help in the fight.

You become human...

I get to feel things.

Yeah, like hunger.

- And sadness and...
- And this...

Was that a pro or a con?

I have a problem.

She's dying.

Who's dying?

My sister.

I found her a body,

but it's not strong enough.

I need to find one
that is more durable.

Like yours.

So, Mayakovsky told you
what your discipline is?

Repair of small objects.

You did always excel
at minor mendings.

I always thought
it'd be something cooler.

At least it's real.

Now you don't have to fantasize
anymore about who you are

and lie about
who you wish you were.

You just know it now.

And maybe
you've always known it.

Show me.

How does it feel?

Like I helped it wake up

and remember
what it was before.