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1
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:04,633
(GOAT BLEATING)
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:08,030
(SPEAKING GREEK)
3
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:25,118
(SPIROS SPEAKING IN GREEK)
4
00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,319
Kalimera.
5
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:44,672
(IN ENGLISH) Kalimera, Miss Durrells.
6
00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:48,718
I don't think you have
met my wife Dimitra.
7
00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,269
(IN ENGLISH) No.
8
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:55,478
(SLOWLY) No, I have, er,
seen you in the distance.
9
00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:58,996
(IN ENGLISH) How nice
to finally meet you.
10
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:00,593
Ah, you speak English.
11
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,274
Spiros taught me. He loves the English.
12
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:06,033
And I love the Greeks. (CHUCKLES)
13
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:12,594
Thank you for letting us
see so much of Spiros
14
00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:14,233
since we've lived here.
15
00:01:14,320 --> 00:01:15,719
Thank you for paying him.
16
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,956
Oh, he means much more to us than that.
17
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,549
We must let you go.
18
00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:24,110
Yes. L-I'm just buying for a picnic.
19
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,275
So, that's nice.
20
00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,033
Well...
21
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,752
You must come along.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Anyway...
22
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:36,953
Oh, thank you. We will. When?
23
00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,079
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
24
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,113
LESLIE: Another top-notch lunch
at the Durrell guest house.
25
00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:30,355
You may applaud.
26
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:31,799
(OWL SCREECHES)
27
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,758
(GOAT BLEATS)
28
00:02:34,840 --> 00:02:38,116
(SPEAKING GREEK)
29
00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,870
No lunch for me, Luga...
30
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,313
Er, what is it?
31
00:02:43,400 --> 00:02:44,594
LESLIE AND BASIL: Retzia.
32
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:46,671
I tell you every day.
33
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,877
How am I supposed to
remember a name like Luga...
34
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:51,313
LESLIE AND BASIL: Retzia.
35
00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,119
As an aide-memoire, it rhymes with...
36
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,638
COUNTESS DE TORRO: I shall call you...
37
00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,595
Jill.
38
00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:03,075
(DOOR OPENS)
39
00:03:03,920 --> 00:03:06,115
(BOTH GREETING IN GREEK)
40
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:07,834
(SCREECHING)
41
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,473
(EXHALES)
42
00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,194
Er...
43
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,513
Efcharisto.
44
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,511
(SPEAKING GREEK)
45
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:23,435
(IN ENGLISH) Yes.
46
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,673
Lawrence Durrell,
47
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,673
Tasos Koskinas, the White House,
Kalami. (CHUCKLES)
48
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,438
And Miss Margo Durrell
49
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:34,353
- c/o Geoffrey and Prudence. England.
- Yeah.
50
00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:36,590
England. Eh!
51
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:18,638
- Morning, Miss.
- Morning.
52
00:04:25,880 --> 00:04:26,869
Argh!
53
00:04:28,280 --> 00:04:30,032
Aaargh!
54
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,998
Sodding ruddy argh!
55
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,837
- Hello.
- Hello.
56
00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,399
You're Gerald Durrell.
57
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:41,959
Yes, how can I help?
58
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:43,678
I have this for you.
59
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:44,875
Oh.
60
00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:50,474
Oh...
61
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:55,079
Pogona vitticeps. Wonderful.
62
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:58,239
I like how lizards
can amputate their tail
63
00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,878
to shake off a predator.
64
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,997
And the detached tail keeps on wiggling
to confuse the other animal.
65
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:05,553
Why did you bring him to me?
66
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:09,315
You love animals. People tell me.
Keep.
67
00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,595
No. No, you keep.
68
00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:14,438
Find out all about him
69
00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:15,873
and show all your friends
70
00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,473
and then let him go.
71
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,996
I like them here for a while,
but they're better off under the sky.
72
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,434
(INDISTINCT SINGING IN THE DISTANCE)
73
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,872
COUNTESS DE TORRO:
# Hold your hand out
74
00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:32,110
# Oh, naughty boy
75
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,713
# Hold your hand out
76
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,870
# Naughty boy #
77
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,349
Though some are better kept indoors.
78
00:05:49,480 --> 00:05:50,799
[TAPS DOOR KNOCKER]
79
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,831
Hello, Aunty, Uncle.
80
00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:58,029
What?
81
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,678
Did you not get my letter?
82
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,030
No. What did it say?
83
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,914
That I was coming to stay.
84
00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:06,558
I don't really know
anyone else in England
85
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:08,153
now Aunt Hermione's died.
86
00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:09,838
I haven't been here since I was 15.
87
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,319
Sorry, have you got a full house?
88
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:13,994
No.
89
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,389
But it'll take a massive amount
of organising.
90
00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:19,156
I can go to London, if you prefer.
91
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,593
No, you better come in.
92
00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:26,234
MARGO: Great.
93
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,950
It's a bit of a surprise. That's all.
94
00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:34,719
GEOFFREY: We're creatures of habit.
95
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,518
I've often thought
that without habit,
96
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,433
Prue and I would scurry around
like headless chickens.
97
00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,075
Hmm.
98
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,111
It's like a tiny museum.
99
00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:54,431
Oh, sorry. That was probably rude.
100
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,154
Why have you left Greece?
101
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:00,440
- Is it because it's abroad?
- No.
102
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,035
I want to find myself.
103
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:06,396
I'm sorry. What, dear?
104
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,438
I suppose I would like to learn
to be confident by being more normal.
105
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:11,599
- Good.
- That's the ticket.
106
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:13,193
Not that being normal is everything.
107
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,191
- Well, I think it is.
- Yes.
108
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,316
How's your mother?
109
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,789
We enjoyed seeing her
last year in London.
110
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,360
Well, not exactly "enjoyed".
111
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:26,918
No.
112
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,115
Not enjoyed.
113
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,995
We're sailing up the coast
on Saturday to visit Larry
114
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,229
and have a picnic.
115
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,231
Be careful.
116
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,591
The sea is a grave made of water.
117
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:47,673
(LAUGHS)
118
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,075
I'd love to read
your dictionary of definitions.
119
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:53,992
Hey, come with us.
120
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,957
You know, not to work, but as a guest.
121
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:58,953
Me?
122
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,753
Yeah, well, after all these years here,
you're family now.
123
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:21,719
Should I go and talk to her?
124
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:22,915
Yes.
125
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:40,557
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
126
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:44,788
I know.
127
00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:46,757
I hate shopping, too.
128
00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,512
No.
129
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:50,636
I just met Spiros's wife
for the first time.
130
00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:53,909
I was in a shop
131
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:56,710
and she came in with Spiros.
132
00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,954
Four years without meeting
and now she starts going shopping.
133
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,109
(LESLIE SIGHS)
134
00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:04,395
What did you say?
135
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:08,432
I invited her and Spiros on our picnic
and she said yes.
136
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:10,915
What? Why?
137
00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:12,792
I was being polite and friendly.
138
00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,558
(GROANS)
139
00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:19,156
Well, she obviously wants to get
a proper look at you.
140
00:09:20,280 --> 00:09:22,840
You and Spiros aren't talking,
but want to.
141
00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,193
This is actually good.
142
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:29,359
No, Leslie, it's actually bad.
143
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,479
It'll be awkward and painful.
144
00:09:32,560 --> 00:09:36,235
And Dimitra will turn up
with her trump cards, her children.
145
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,757
Not literally, they're away in Athens.
146
00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,274
And her sultry Greekness.
147
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,956
And above all,
148
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,873
her unattainable,
quietly lovely husband.
149
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,758
Well, I'll respect them
as a married couple,
150
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,592
we'll have a nice day,
151
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:59,195
I won't compare us or judge her,
nor she me,
152
00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,191
or interfere in any way.
153
00:10:13,720 --> 00:10:15,517
LESLIE: What's your favourite sandwich?
154
00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:17,795
THEO: What a super day in prospect.
155
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,150
I've brought my swimming costume.
156
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:23,038
I have quite an impressive cannonball
in my arsenal.
157
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,232
(HONKING)
158
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,879
LESLIE: All right.
159
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,791
GERRY: Everything's fine.
Everyone, just relax.
160
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,438
Nothing strange or unusual happening.
161
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:37,708
(KNOCK AT DOOR)
162
00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,232
- SPIROS: Hello.
- Spiros!
163
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,394
Dimitra, this is Leslie Durrell.
164
00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,075
You. How lovely.
165
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:51,276
- Again.
- Twice in one week.
166
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,396
- We are becoming old friends.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
167
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,113
(GOAT BLEATING)
168
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,759
Er, this my other son Gerry.
169
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:01,955
The animal boy.
170
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,235
- Well, I wouldn't call him...
- Yes, I'm happy with that.
171
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,356
- You must know Theo.
- (SPEAKING GREEK)
172
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,198
(SPEAKING GREEK)
173
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:09,429
And this is Basil.
174
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,951
And Lugaretzia,
175
00:11:13,040 --> 00:11:15,679
who is just recovering
from one of her illnesses.
176
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:18,234
(PELICAN GRUNTING)
177
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:20,955
Please.
178
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,752
(THEO SPEAKING GREEK)
179
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,717
DIMITRA: (IN ENGLISH) Do they bite?
GERRY: Yes.
180
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:31,032
(CONVERSING IN GREEK)
181
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,240
Why did you let your wife say yes
to coming on this trip?
182
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:37,429
Why did you invite her?
183
00:11:38,040 --> 00:11:39,553
I panicked.
184
00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:42,712
She's been this big absent figure
in my life for so long
185
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,836
and suddenly, there she was,
by the hanging cheeses.
186
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:46,319
...the beak there is rubberised...
187
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,470
You and I have done nothing wrong.
188
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,035
- I know.
- Yeah.
189
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:51,314
Why are you telling me that?
190
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,079
Maybe you and she will hit it on.
191
00:11:55,160 --> 00:11:56,593
Hit it off.
192
00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,036
You see? When I'm getting nervous
my English goes to pot.
193
00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:02,475
Goes to pot?
194
00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,075
Yes.
195
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,196
LESLIE: Right. Listen up, everyone.
196
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,350
There are eight of us,
plus a stupid dog.
197
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,509
You're a stupid dog.
198
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,558
And transport is one boat
and one motorcar.
199
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,710
Now, Lugaretzia gets carsick.
200
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,597
Well, she gets seasick
as well, actually,
201
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,716
but it's easier to be sick in the sea.
202
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,678
I also suffer
from seasickness, in fact.
203
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:22,829
Oh, Theo.
204
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,592
Theo is perfect in every way.
205
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:25,874
No.
206
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,279
Now, Mrs Halikiopoulos...
207
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,351
Oh, that's a bit of a mouthful,
isn't it? (LAUGHS)
208
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,793
No.
209
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:34,311
Right. Well, I have you
down for the boat.
210
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,311
No, I go in my husband's car.
211
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,349
Car.
212
00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,874
I'm happy to go in the boat.
213
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,075
GERRY: Roger and I will sail
214
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,230
so we can look out for
loggerhead turtles.
215
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:49,196
Well, that's five sailing
and only three in the motorcar.
216
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,679
Hmm, not ideal.
217
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:51,875
Here.
218
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:54,629
Erm,
219
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:57,280
Mother, you may as well go in the car.
220
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,833
MARGO: Dear Mother, Les and the boy,
221
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,718
I'm sitting inPrue and Geoffrey's living room.
222
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,234
- Either the clock is very loud...
- (CLOCK TICKING)
223
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,231
... or Dorset is very quiet.
224
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,719
Do come along to the talk
I'm giving this morning, Margo.
225
00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:25,190
- You'll be entertained royally.
- Thank you, beloved.
226
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,474
What is the title of the talk?
227
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,874
"My Life as an Insurance Broker."
228
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,154
Hmm.
229
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:32,755
What is that?
230
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,313
Insurance broking is...
231
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,755
Don't tell her yet.
Keep your powder dry.
232
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:41,396
- Indubitably.
- (CHUCKLES)
233
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,829
MARGO: Your cousin Prue and Geoffrey
234
00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:49,040
are the most peculiar peopleI've ever met.
235
00:13:49,920 --> 00:13:51,831
I may be more normal than I thought.
236
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:56,108
Of course, if it wasn't for Basil
losing Aunt Hermione's legacy,
237
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,033
we'd have retired to a life in clover.
238
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:02,317
Calm now, or you'll stab yourself
with your knitting needle again.
239
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,991
You know Basil's staying
in our guest house now.
240
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,674
(EXHALES) Yes, I do.
241
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:11,510
- Look, you've bent it now.
- Oh, leave me alone!
242
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,829
I thought Basil was
a homosexual like Sven,
243
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,593
Mother's first boyfriend on Corfu.
244
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,591
But he turned out to be in love with her
245
00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:23,033
and bought her a little bridge
246
00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,554
mistakenly thinking
it was one of her favourite things.
247
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,239
It's all true.
248
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:32,350
Don't try and make me
look like the weird one.
249
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,672
(BLEATING)
250
00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:51,959
You're looking rather anxious, Spiros.
251
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,155
Why is that?
252
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,279
I have a precious cargo.
253
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,393
You're very sweet.
254
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,155
I don't mean you.
255
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,793
(HERDER SPEAKING GREEK)
256
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,598
I love your dress, Dimitra.
257
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:08,035
Thank you. And I love yours.
258
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:09,599
Oh.
259
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:12,949
I love your trousers, Spiros.
260
00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:15,031
(CHUCKLES) You're very funny, Basil.
261
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,878
Does Spiros often
take you out for drives?
262
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:22,033
Only when we first met,
when he was trying to impress me.
263
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:27,111
(BOTH SPEAKING GREEK)
264
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,758
(ALL CHUCKLE)
265
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,589
What are you saying?
266
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,114
My Greek's coming along well,
I know what they said.
267
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,473
- (GIBBERISH IN GREEK ACCENT)
- (LAUGHING)
268
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:02,878
Any better, Theo?
269
00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,996
I'd rather be in the car.
270
00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,069
Yeah, sorry about that.
271
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:08,879
I thought Mother and Mrs Spiros
should get to know each other better.
272
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,393
Fine. But Basil must die.
273
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,675
We will die first drowning.
274
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,558
Oh, cheer up, everyone.
Look, we'll have a nice big lunch and...
275
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:16,834
(BOTH GAGGING)
276
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,353
...then we'll see Larry again.
277
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,908
- That's not like you, Leslie.
- Well, I miss him.
278
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:24,197
I miss his ugly face.
279
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,952
(CHUCKLING)
280
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,309
A-ha.
281
00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,629
Theo, look.
282
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,038
(SONG PLAYING)
283
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,436
LESLIE: All right? Lugaretzia.
284
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:11,794
(GROANS)
285
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,668
- GERRY: Look, flamingos.
- (RETCHES)
286
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,231
Why did you?
287
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,959
(DIMITRA SCREAMING)
288
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,436
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
289
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,996
(INAUDIBLE)
290
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,238
We must never talk about this.
291
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,390
No, I will tell people.
292
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:10,750
- (EXPLOSION)
- What's that?
293
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,638
I fear it's fishermen
using dynamite to kill fish.
294
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,950
That is so cruel and disgusting.
295
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,508
It's punishable
by several years in prison,
296
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:20,113
but they risk it anyway.
297
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,839
I expect you approve,
as it's all hunting.
298
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,070
- Fun day out.
- I don't approve.
299
00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,957
But I do approve of
throwing people in the sea
300
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,359
so they can learn their lesson!
301
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,751
Now, I know we're here for a picnic,
302
00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,515
but you'll forgive me if we make
a bit of a fuss of my eldest, Lawrence.
303
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,114
Of course. Lawrence of Kerkyra.
304
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,236
(BASIL LAUGHS)
305
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:55,594
Oh, that is tremendous.
306
00:18:57,040 --> 00:18:59,429
- It's a play on Lawrence of Arabia.
- Yes, I know that.
307
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:01,750
"Kerkyra" is Greek for Corfu.
308
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,957
Yes, I know that,
I've been here since 1935.
309
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,549
Larry?
310
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:17,389
Oh!
311
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,629
That's good timing.
312
00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:30,110
Looks like Gerry's had a swim already.
313
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,952
You just can't stop them, can you?
314
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:34,433
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
315
00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:37,869
You know, I wrote to Larry
to tell him we were coming.
316
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:40,989
He's a writer. Very avant-garde.
317
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,516
Or as you say in Greece,
bloody rude! Ha!
318
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,239
He's probably gone for a walk.
319
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:53,874
Larry?
320
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,918
(PEOPLE SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY IN FRENCH)
321
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,399
LARRY: Dear Tribe of Durrells,
322
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,711
or should I say,
Chere Tribu de Durrells?
323
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,151
Greetings from Paris,where I am now living.
324
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,198
A passing yacht was heading for Italy,so I hopped aboard.
325
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,558
It's a shame I couldn't say goodbye,
326
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,551
but I know you will understand.
327
00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,358
The bastard's not here, is he?
328
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:23,119
I have no money,but have badgered myself free lodging,
329
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,395
as my exquisite filthy novel
330
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:27,357
has had some succes d'estime
331
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,078
among the reliably sexual French.
332
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:30,195
(CHUCKLES)
333
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,432
It is wildly exciting here.
334
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,072
To quote St Augustine,
335
00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:37,513
"The world is a book
336
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,160
"and those who do not travelread only one page. "
337
00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,834
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
338
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,718
Larry may have drowned, of course.
339
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,353
I mean, I hope not.
340
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,189
THEO: So, Mrs Durrell,
341
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,510
how was your trip in the car?
342
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,955
Generally pleasant,
343
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,837
although I can't deny
there are tensions.
344
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,751
I'm sorry you vomited over Leslie.
345
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:06,718
Oh, you heard. Yes, I apologise.
346
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:08,870
No, I'm sorry for you, not Leslie.
347
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,679
As a child,
he was endlessly sick over me.
348
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:14,433
And then he'd usually
go to bed and wet it.
349
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,476
Twelve years of rubber sheets.
350
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:22,712
Mrs Durrells,
thank you for the excellent food.
351
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,189
Oh, well,
there's no need to be so official.
352
00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,669
Don't stop him say
nice things about cooking.
353
00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:29,512
It never happens to me.
354
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,637
(SPEAKING GREEK)
355
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:35,675
What are they saying?
356
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:37,799
I didn't hear.
357
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,393
Well, Spiros is always
very complimentary to me.
358
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,269
It's hard to say the right thing.
359
00:21:46,360 --> 00:21:47,634
- (DISTANT EXPLOSION)
- (ALL GASP)
360
00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,319
LESLIE: They're dynamiting fish!
361
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:58,438
Stop that right now!
362
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:00,715
LESLIE: Or you'll go to prison
for several years!
363
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,870
And I know because
I was in the Corfu police!
364
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,712
You absolute sods!
365
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,916
Gerry! Where did you
learn that language?
366
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:09,953
From Larry and Leslie and Margo
and you.
367
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,270
All right, only asking.
368
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:16,073
(SHOUTING IN GREEK)
369
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:19,277
(MAN REPLIES IN GREEK)
370
00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:20,839
(IN ENGLISH) Was that too specific?
371
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,911
Knowing you, I'd imagine so.
372
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,436
(SHOUTING IN GREEK)
373
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,753
- (GOATS BLEATING)
- DIMITRA: Oh!
374
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,389
(DIMITRA AND LUGARETZIA
EXCLAIMING IN GREEK)
375
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:48,951
BASIL AND GERRY: Shoo! Get off!
376
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,189
Away!
377
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:53,995
You see, this is why
we should shoot animals!
378
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:57,829
- (GRUNTS)
- Fear not, everyone!
379
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,878
Dimitra, do not worry
your sensationally pretty head.
380
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,997
I'm sure there will be a taverna nearby,
and all will be well.
381
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:05,354
Right. Come on.
382
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,632
BASIL: I'll keep this safe.
383
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:17,635
LESLIE: One push,
384
00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:20,473
and you and Spiros
could live happily ever after.
385
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,632
(IN ENGLISH) Looks like
it's here or nowhere.
386
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:37,598
Or we could get back in our vehicles
and find somewhere else?
387
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,398
No, let's not do that.
388
00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:42,675
So, let's drink this now.
389
00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,990
Dimitra, you are awash with good ideas.
390
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,548
No, it's a present for Larry.
Wherever he is.
391
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:49,073
- (BOTTLE SMASHES)
- LESLIE: Basil!
392
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:50,912
LESLIE: Oh, Basil!
393
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:52,513
That could have happened to anyone.
394
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,989
I think the phrase
you're looking for is,
395
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,798
"The drinks are on me."
396
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,472
(CHICKEN CLUCKING)
397
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:01,558
LOUISA: Go. Shoo.
398
00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:06,834
(SPIROS SPEAKING GREEK)
399
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:11,472
(BANGS ON TABLE)
400
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,232
(SPIROS SPEAKING GREEK)
401
00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:20,672
CAPTAIN CREECH: Oh!
402
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,990
At last, enchantresses.
403
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,193
(LAUGHS) Mrs Durrell,
404
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,673
pull up a bottom.
405
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,796
Just ignore him.
406
00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:32,077
If he gives us any trouble,
we'll have him ejected by the landlord.
407
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,317
Now, what can I
serve you with, my dears?
408
00:24:35,680 --> 00:24:38,035
In that case, we're leaving.
409
00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:40,873
No, no, please,
can we just stay for a pie and a drink?
410
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:43,190
Yes, I... I do a lovely, er...
411
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,995
Er... Well, it's all lovely, look!
412
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,878
- You know this man?
- Captain Creech.
413
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,838
We meet about once a year
and something bad always happens.
414
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:53,911
Well, you're not getting any booze.
415
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:55,752
I should hope not. He's 14.
416
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,671
CAPTAIN CREECH: Ha! Didn't stop me.
417
00:24:57,760 --> 00:25:00,911
I'd done everything
before I sprouted any body hair.
418
00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:03,756
What are the chances of you being here?
419
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:07,230
Well, as a matter of fact,
I came to visit Larry,
420
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,553
pleasure-seeker like myself,
421
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,950
and the chap that owned this
offered me a very good deal.
422
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,873
So, where is he?
423
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:18,520
I believe he's running a brothel
in Albania.
424
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:20,194
LESLIE AND LOUISA: Larry.
425
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,953
Oh! Oh! Er, Paris.
426
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,951
- A different kind of paradise.
- (SIGHS)
427
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,758
He can't have received my letter.
428
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,831
CAPTAIN CREECH:
Oh, he didn't, it's here.
429
00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,429
I gave it a good read, obviously.
430
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:38,197
I was very sorry to hear
your daughter Margo had jumped ship.
431
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,271
Bit of a mad one.
432
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:44,231
But you get a very appreciative mention.
433
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:45,992
That's very personal, son of a bitch.
434
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,150
(CAPTAIN CREECH CHOKING)
435
00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,234
What did you write about Spiros
in your letter?
436
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:58,433
I imagine it was how precious he is
437
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:01,238
and how lucky you are to have him.
438
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,515
Yes, I am.
439
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:07,275
Yippee!
440
00:26:07,360 --> 00:26:10,272
CAPTAIN CREECH: Well,
to show there's no hard feelings,
441
00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,510
I'd like to serve you all lunch.
442
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:15,596
Eight drachma a head.
443
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:18,638
Payable in advance.
444
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,351
GEOFFREY: Was it all excitement?
445
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,918
- (MAN SNORING)
- No, it wasn't.
446
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:31,355
There were quiet years in the office.
447
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:34,755
- In fact, there were quiet decades.
- (PEOPLE YAWNING)
448
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,749
The... The 1900s.
449
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:40,400
They were rather quiet.
450
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,312
(SNORING CONTINUES)
451
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:46,955
Erm...
452
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:48,917
(MAN COUGHING)
453
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:54,999
There's a tremendous amount of filing
in insurance broking.
454
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,117
The risk of fire
was always on our minds.
455
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:00,589
Oh...
456
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:03,588
- MAN: Excuse me.
- Particularly during the, erm...
457
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,477
The quiet decades, which I...
458
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:07,519
I mentioned earlier.
459
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,151
All that paper going up.
460
00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:15,755
- (SNORING CONTINUES)
- But it, erm...
461
00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:19,393
It never happened.
462
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,036
(WOMAN YAWNING)
463
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,873
I'm going to bring this to a halt now,
a little early.
464
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:32,117
I think I may have overestimated
just how interesting my life was.
465
00:27:36,120 --> 00:27:38,190
(APPLAUSE)
466
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,196
I loved that talk.
467
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:46,753
I'm Margo Durrell
468
00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:50,071
and I'm lucky enough to be Geoffrey's
great-niece-in-law or something.
469
00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:52,312
Sit down!
470
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,233
But it shows that even the most
grown-up of us can lose confidence.
471
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,512
So let me fill in for his shortened talk
472
00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,229
by describing my life
on the Greek island of Corfu,
473
00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:04,312
where my widowed mother
took us a few years ago to live.
474
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:08,078
My older brother Larry
calls Britain "Pudding Island,"
475
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:09,229
which he means meanly,
476
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,311
but who in their right mind
doesn't love pudding?
477
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,038
(CHUCKLING)
478
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:17,398
But if Britain's a pudding,
Corfu is, let's say,
479
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,989
a sensual platter of seafood,
480
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,237
sun-kissed vegetables
and exploding fruit.
481
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:28,434
CAPTAIN CREECH: There we are.
482
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,428
Wrap your gizzards round those, eh?
(CHUCKLES)
483
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,078
He trained at The Savoy, you know.
484
00:28:36,160 --> 00:28:37,639
(CHUCKLING)
485
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,353
So, Basil, what are you doing
in this country?
486
00:28:42,720 --> 00:28:45,188
I'm on a long holiday, really.
487
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,111
I've got some money set by.
488
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:49,270
Give it to me! (LAUGHS)
489
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:52,113
Righty-o! How would you like it,
cash or cheque?
490
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,953
- Or I can do jewellery.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
491
00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:57,234
What a saucy laugh.
492
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,471
Gerry, how is your zoo?
493
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,358
Well, I want to open it to the public,
but it's still not ready.
494
00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,271
Oh, if you're looking for more critters,
495
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,875
I've got two out the back that were
left by some rather stupid sailors.
496
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:10,916
Oh, no, no, Gerry can't take any more.
497
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,958
Oh, well, if you don't buy them,
I shall probably eat them.
498
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,235
I've given
the little shits fair warning.
499
00:29:16,320 --> 00:29:18,880
- What are they?
- Oh, I dunno, badgers?
500
00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:20,757
You'll have to ask them yourself.
501
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:23,798
(MUTTERING IN GREEK)
502
00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,113
LESLIE: What are you muttering?
503
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:31,193
(IN ENGLISH) This is bad,
husband and wife like this.
504
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:32,679
Strangers.
505
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,357
I'm gonna go check on my boat.
506
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:40,436
CAPTAIN CREECH:
All enjoying themselves? Ah!
507
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,878
This is my friend Lefteris,
508
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,430
who is a dab hand at the santouri.
509
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,073
Would you like to be entertained?
510
00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:50,434
Ten drachma.
511
00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:53,472
Right...
512
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:55,869
Ten drachma not to play.
513
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:00,871
(JOYFUL CLAMOUR)
514
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,030
(CLAMOUR MUFFLES)
515
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,032
LARRY: Much as I enjoineveryone to travel,
516
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,680
there is a melancholythat you carry in your suitcase,
517
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,073
like a pair of weighty boots.
518
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:20,911
The joy of belonging,to family, friends, a home,
519
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:25,710
is exchanged for the uncertaintiesof the lunatic uncharted world.
520
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,634
I'm drinking a bottle of BordeauxI've just nicked,
521
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,349
so this letter could be longand somewhat free-form.
522
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:41,271
(ENGINE WHIRRING)
523
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,428
Oi! Bugger off away from our boat!
524
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:00,638
I have friends
in the Corfu police force,
525
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:03,280
so you are playing with fire!
526
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,590
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
527
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,278
Yes, I should think so!
528
00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,993
(SCREAMS)
529
00:31:45,240 --> 00:31:46,753
(SIGHS)
530
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,233
So this is how they braid their hair
in the Ionian Islands.
531
00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,594
WOMEN: Hmm...
532
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:56,274
Whereas in Turkey,
my last boyfriend was from Izmir,
533
00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,032
they prefer something more like this.
534
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,113
Is this too much?
535
00:32:02,200 --> 00:32:04,589
I think we're all far too conservative,
don't you?
536
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:06,633
(MUTTERING)
537
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:14,318
I've been thinking for some time
of going Titian.
538
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:15,879
Or blonde.
539
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:18,394
Or you could jump
straight to white hair.
540
00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,674
(LOW CHUCKLE)
541
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:23,275
So, Margo,
you're a trained beauty advisor?
542
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:27,114
Self-taught.
I find that's so much more creative.
543
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,033
After all, nobody teaches one
how to make love.
544
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:31,712
(LOW EXCLAMATIONS)
545
00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:34,189
No, I'm toying with formal training,
546
00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:37,590
but I'm finding out a lot about myself,
so my future may lie elsewhere.
547
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:40,352
Margo's staying in our home.
548
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,719
She's very much part of
Prue's and my "gang".
549
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,590
We helped her through
her ugly spotty stage.
550
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,755
And that's positively Macedonian.
551
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:53,032
- (MUTTERING)
- WOMAN: Very good, isn't it?
552
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:55,588
(DISCORDANT TUNE PLAYING)
553
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,872
DIMITRA: So, what else
can go wrong today?
554
00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:08,995
Let's see what the day brings, shall we?
555
00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:11,310
Out of darkness comes light.
556
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:15,071
What darkness have you in your life?
557
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,436
Healthy children. Your English money.
558
00:33:19,920 --> 00:33:22,434
Well, my husband died,
559
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,274
leaving me with four
actually rather troubled children.
560
00:33:26,360 --> 00:33:27,349
Eh?
561
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,998
We have never had any money.
562
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,275
We came here
so that we could live cheaply.
563
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,352
But tell me about yourself.
564
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:37,156
What makes you unhappy?
565
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,390
Er... Being bored.
566
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,678
It's hard to imagine
being bored with Spiros.
567
00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:46,911
(CHUCKLES) Oh, you will be surprised.
568
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,675
(SPEAKING GREEK)
569
00:33:58,120 --> 00:33:59,439
(WHISPERS) What are they saying?
570
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,511
I wish they'd argue in English.
571
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:04,319
He says she doesn't
like him much anymore.
572
00:34:04,400 --> 00:34:06,231
Well, she is quite hard work.
573
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,316
To be fair,
she has entered the lion's den.
574
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:11,277
You are all quite intimidating.
575
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:13,920
No, we're not! Idiot.
576
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:15,319
Right.
577
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:20,033
Who wants to sing along to the...
Well, the weird instrument?
578
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:22,869
Anyone?
579
00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:25,030
(SPEAKING GREEK)
580
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:29,399
There we are, boy.
581
00:34:29,480 --> 00:34:33,473
All yours for, er, 25 drachma.
582
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,275
(ALL GASPING)
583
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:37,794
- BASIL: Bush babies!
- Skunks. Stand aside!
584
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,432
Lemurs from Madagascar.
585
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,109
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- BASIL: Look at them.
586
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:47,679
SPIROS: Whoa.
587
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,991
SPIROS: (IN ENGLISH) What do they eat?
LOUISA: Anything not cooked by Creech.
588
00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,071
BASIL: They're not interested
in the food.
589
00:35:03,240 --> 00:35:04,958
- (DIMITRA EXCLAIMS)
- BASIL: Oh, my goodness.
590
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,273
Don't... Don't panic, Dimitra.
591
00:35:07,360 --> 00:35:08,475
BASIL: I can't look.
THEO: Shh!
592
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:10,273
(LUGARETZIA EXCLAIMS IN GREEK)
593
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:13,712
(SPEAKING GREEK)
594
00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:15,599
(DOOR OPENS)
595
00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:18,232
GERRY: Shut the door!
THEO: Keep them in!
596
00:35:18,320 --> 00:35:20,038
All right, all right.
597
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:22,399
Right. You win.
598
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:24,553
Stop playing.
599
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:25,959
(MUSIC STOPS)
600
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,352
Did you not hear the explosion?
601
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:31,000
- What? No.
- They've blown up the Sea Cow.
602
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,469
Oh, darling, you loved that boat.
603
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:38,189
(SOLEMNLY) We must all
go home in the car.
604
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,154
Will this be all right?
605
00:35:50,240 --> 00:35:52,595
Well, it's not built
for eight people,
606
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,716
a dog and two weasels.
607
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,268
- You should take it slowly.
- SPIROS: You think?
608
00:35:58,040 --> 00:36:00,429
Thank you, slowly is a good idea.
609
00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:03,114
I've never sat on a man's lap before.
610
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,919
- How are you finding it?
- Disconcerting.
611
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,752
Think of Basil as Father Christmas.
612
00:36:07,840 --> 00:36:09,717
Ho-ho-ho, little boy.
613
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,153
I'll try standing up.
614
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,155
What a chance
to get to know each other even better.
615
00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,310
We already know each other well enough.
616
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,391
(ENGINE SPLUTTERING)
617
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,758
(MUTTERING)
618
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:30,759
(ENGINE STARTS)
619
00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:46,237
(RECITING ARMENIAN POETRY)
620
00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,358
(PELICAN GRUNTING)
621
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:03,112
Mmm...
622
00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,197
Hello, darling.
623
00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:12,798
(ENGINE SIZZLING)
624
00:37:13,880 --> 00:37:16,872
Oh, no, I don't believe this.
625
00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:18,234
We have to wait.
626
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,356
- She's overheating.
- The car or your wife?
627
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:23,750
Sorry. I'm upset about my boat.
628
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:29,836
I apologise, Dimitra.
It was supposed to be such a lovely day.
629
00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:31,797
Well, it's brilliant
now I've got two lemurs!
630
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:35,280
BASIL: To be honest, apart from
meeting the vivacious Dimitra,
631
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:36,349
it's far from brilliant.
632
00:37:36,440 --> 00:37:39,352
Lunch cost me
the equivalent of 800 pounds.
633
00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,716
Well, you did smash Larry's
very expensive bottle of champagne.
634
00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,314
If you'd communicated properly
with your son in the first place,
635
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:47,436
we wouldn't have been
on this wild-goose chase.
636
00:37:48,040 --> 00:37:50,679
But otherwise, what a nice day.
637
00:37:51,200 --> 00:37:54,078
Mr Theodoros was sick on Leslie lap.
638
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,993
Then my boat was blown up.
So I've had the worst day.
639
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:58,513
I'm always the victim.
640
00:37:58,600 --> 00:38:02,673
For the record, you did push Gerry
into the sea with his clothes on.
641
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,672
All right, but apart from all that,
what a nice day.
642
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:13,074
I'm going to walk home.
643
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,958
(SPEAKING GREEK)
644
00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:36,954
(WHISPERS) What are they saying?
645
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,513
(WHISPERS) I don't wanna tell you.
646
00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:57,878
(IN ENGLISH) Everyone, I'm sorry,
647
00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:01,396
you had to see my private problems.
648
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,433
I spoiled your day.
649
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:09,794
No, you really didn't.
650
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:15,113
Well done, dear.
651
00:39:15,200 --> 00:39:21,673
You took Lytchett Matravers by storm
with your improvised ramblings.
652
00:39:21,760 --> 00:39:23,193
People are so nice here.
653
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,191
I think I'll stay in the area for a bit.
654
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,271
Are people not nice in Greece?
655
00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:28,835
Yes, they are,
656
00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,353
but I love the fact that in England,
657
00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,510
- people speak English.
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
658
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,556
We wouldn't have it any other way,
would we, dear?
659
00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,437
- PRUE: No!
- It sounds obvious,
660
00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,750
but today I realised
that the key to confidence
661
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:40,796
is being able to express oneself.
662
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:42,518
I feel I can do anything now.
663
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:44,549
Hello again.
664
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:47,549
I was walking home
665
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:49,631
and I realised
we might be able to help each other.
666
00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:51,432
- Oh?
- My daughter Maud's governess
667
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:53,158
had to leave suddenly
668
00:39:53,240 --> 00:39:55,037
and I was wondering
if you could take over.
669
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:57,309
Gosh.
670
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:01,518
You have, well,
the oomph that my daughter needs.
671
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:03,993
I would love to be a governess.
672
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:06,397
Oh, how splendid.
673
00:40:08,040 --> 00:40:09,155
Here's Maud.
674
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,070
Maud, this is Miss Durrell.
675
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,028
Hello, Maud.
676
00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:22,758
BASIL: Lovely eyes, strong teeth,
677
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:25,229
- firm calves.
- LESLIE: Stop now.
678
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:29,518
(SIGHS) I'm not saying that Dimitra
could do better than Spiros,
679
00:40:29,600 --> 00:40:31,511
but what a bloody woman.
680
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,716
If she was that brilliant,
681
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,360
they wouldn't be
sucking the life out of each other.
682
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,954
She can suck the life out of me
whenever she likes.
683
00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:41,429
Hmm, well, she won't be rushing
to join us on another picnic,
684
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,636
except to maybe sprinkle arsenic
on the cheese straws.
685
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:46,632
That's the best thing
about my husband dying young.
686
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:49,154
We never had time to
irritate the hell out of each other.
687
00:40:59,720 --> 00:41:01,119
Excuse my hair.
688
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,159
It fell out.
689
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:05,435
I have, er, syphilis.
690
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:08,834
- Oh.
- Did she say she has syphilis?
691
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,990
Yes, yes, she did.
692
00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,150
Right, well, I'm going for a swim.
693
00:41:13,240 --> 00:41:15,913
- Oh, not now, Gerry.
- GERRY: This is so exciting.
694
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:20,717
Please can we put a limit
on the number of animals in the house.
695
00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:28,314
(SPEAKING GREEK)
696
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,480
Marvellous.
Now that will be all round Corfu.
697
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:34,709
What will?
698
00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:37,234
That this house is a freak show.
699
00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,229
LARRY: So to sum up,
700
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:55,596
this is the differencebetween our triangle of nations,
701
00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,911
the English live in the past,the Greeks live in the present,
702
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,276
and the French live in...France.
703
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:04,112
Boom-boom, I thank you.
704
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:11,636
There is much chatter here in Parisof impending war,
705
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:13,676
which makes me miss you even more.
706
00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:16,672
Margo in Englandwill be insulated from such fears
707
00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:18,432
thanks to the good old British refusal
708
00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:21,159
to acknowledgethat the rest of the world matters
709
00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:22,878
or even exists.
710
00:42:24,680 --> 00:42:28,878
GEOFFREY: My talk in the village hallwent very well,
711
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:33,835
though people are of course shy
712
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,879
at coming forwardto express praise or interest.
713
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:46,031
Now I am retired,my life stretches forward like...
714
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,151
... an open road,
715
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,397
with my trusty mucker Prue beside me,
716
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:59,156
and nothing to hold us backexcept our imaginations.
717
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:04,799
PRUE: Dear Cousin Louisa.
718
00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,559
The weatherhas been up to its old tricks
719
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:11,313
over the past week.
720
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,669
Choosing a hathas been little short of a nightmare.
721
00:43:16,720 --> 00:43:18,711
I am used to wind,
722
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:22,110
but our old friend sleetraised its ugly head...
723
00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:26,830
MARGO: I seem to have a job,as a governess.
724
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,356
Yes, I know, very Jane Austen.
725
00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:33,310
To a child called Maud,
726
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:37,393
who looks like she killedand probably ate my predecessor.
727
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,431
But I feel armed and ready,
728
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,988
having grown up in a family
729
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:49,079
who I now realise have steeled me
730
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:52,038
in the art of self-reliance
731
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:55,954
by never letting meget away with anything.
732
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:05,229
LOUISA: Dear Margo,we spent the day travelling
733
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,551
and I was remindedwhy people stay at home.
734
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:11,473
I hope Cousin Prue and Geoffreyare not making you feel the same.
735
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:14,390
Please resist the urge to poison them.
736
00:44:14,480 --> 00:44:15,549
If they are,
737
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:18,757
please resist the urge to club themto death with their own fire tongs.
738
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:23,995
We went on a picnic todayand learnt at least two things.
739
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,872
Goats appear from nowhere,
740
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:30,112
and there is no corner of the worldsafe from Captain Creech.
741
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:35,349
So, are we going to talk about
Spiros and his wife and you,
742
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:37,510
or just pretend today didn't happen?
743
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:40,478
You know, darling, I'm so sorry
about you and your blown-up boat.
744
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,391
- You know, you mustn't...
- Answer the question.
745
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:43,754
LESLIE: No, no, no.
746
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:49,310
I'm glad I met Dimitra properly.
747
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,633
In her absence,
she'd become such a bogey woman.
748
00:44:52,720 --> 00:44:54,073
And of course she isn't.
749
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:55,388
- She scared me.
- (CHUCKLES)
750
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,835
You wouldn't fancy
your chances in a fist-fight, would you?
751
00:44:57,920 --> 00:44:59,399
I think I'd do all right.
752
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:02,273
I went to a tough boarding school.
753
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,156
(SIGHS)
754
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:11,271
She's no different from me, really.
755
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,830
Well, you're not going to say it,
so I will.
756
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,755
Their marriage is in trouble,
757
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:23,319
and if you play your cards right,
758
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:25,793
you could be with Spiros.
759
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,669
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
55279
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