All language subtitles for The.Neighborhood.S02E12

Oh, hey, Calvin. What's up?

Hey, can I borrow some
milk for my cereal?

Malcolm used up all of ours.

But your bowl's empty.

Yeah, he finished all the cereal, too.

Do you have anything that's
magically delicious?

Yeah, sure. Let me get you
some of Grover's good stuff.

You want the sugar-free quinoa flakes

or the date-sweetened fiber puffs?

I'll take a banana.

Oh, yeah, L.A. is way different

than Hickory Corners...
It's always sunny,

there's tons of culture,

and nobody grocery shops shirtless.

- Honey, who is that?
- My sister.

Brittany?

Do not give her money,

and do not invite her here.

Of course! We'd love for you to visit.

No! N...

Hey, uh, Gemma,

did you read this article
on California earthquakes?

They say the big one
is coming any day now.

I wouldn't worry about that.

I've lived in California my whole life.

Never been hurt in an earthquake.

What are you doing?

That's for your sucky cereal.

All right, well, love you, too. Bye.

Wow, Dave, there's
actually someone out there

you don't like?

What's her secret?

Calvin, you don't understand.

Gemma's sister is a total disaster.

She flakes on everything,
nothing's ever her fault,

and the only time we ever hear from
her is when she needs something.

- That's not true.
- Oh, yeah? What about the time

she asked you for a kidney?

That's not fair. It wasn't even for her.

O-Okay, okay, so she's still
figuring her life out.

- But she's got a good heart.
- Yeah, which she probably

suckered someone into giving her.

You know, she sounds like
Tina's cousin Lamar,

who she found out wasn't her cousin,

or named Lamar.

Well, then you know
what I'm talking about

and why the last person I want here

is... Oh, Brittany.

Surprise!

Brittany!

Oh, my God!

Forget the banana.

This is magically delicious.

I can't believes called
you're really here.

Thought it'd be a fun surprise.

Like when you showed
up on our honeymoon.

That was the best two weeks ever.

Thanks again for bailing me out.

Mexican jails are no bueno.

Uh, so, Brittany, what brings you here?

I know it wasn't Greyhound,
because they banned you.

I've always wanted to
come to California,

and I finally finished
dental hygiene school.

You graduated? Congratulations!

Oh, no, I didn't say I graduated.

I just stopped going.

Uh, uh, what about the money
we gave you for tuition?

Oh, don't worry, I used it,

and I enrolled in a cosmetology course.

Oh, that's great. How's it going?

Oh, I quit that, too.

They wanted me to go four days a week,

and it's, like, I want
to be a cosmetologist,

not a doctor.

Okay, well, it was great of
you to stop by on your way

to somewhere else.

Actually, I was kind of
hoping I could hang here

until I figured out my next move?

Of course. You're my little sister.

You can stay as long as you want.

Cool. So, where am I crashing?

You can sleep in my room.
I have bunk beds.

Ha-ha! It'll be like we're cellmates.

Hey, Dave.

How's the new roommate working out?

Are you as miserable as I hope?

Even worse.

She has been here one day, and
she already broke the oven,

erased our DVR, and this morning...

she used my karate gi as a bathrobe.

Dave, you got yourself a
freeloader on your hands.

And it's your own fault
for putting up with it.

What am I supposed to do?
She's Gemma's sister.

Family doesn't get a pass.

I don't care if she was my mama.

Calvin Butler would nip
that nonsense in the bud.

Kee-ya!

Ha!

Hey, guys.

Oh, Pop, just a heads-up.

I went over the family data limit,

so the phone bill's gonna
be a little bit high.

Lot of great fights on
YouTube this month.

Well, good thing you...

nipped that nonsense in the bud.

Oh, and,

uh, for the record, it's...

Kee-ya!

Hey, Ma, is it cool if I
borrow your car tonight?

Oh, sure, baby. But it's
just about out of gas.

Oh, don't worry, I got you.

Where's your gas card?

Her gas card?

You do know they take your cash?

Yeah, Pop, but then Mom
wouldn't get her points.

Yeah, Calvin... why are you
trying to take my points?

What are they even for?

I don't know, but they're
mine and I want 'em.

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Uh, what are you doing?

I'm getting a piece of garlic bread.

Yeah, but the middle piece?

That's the one with the
best crust-to-butter ratio.

Fine. What's the big deal, man?

It's just bread.

Oh, "it's just bread."

Bread that you didn't buy
or that you didn't cook.

Well, Calvin, you
didn't cook it, either.

I'm trying to make a point, Tina.

Oh. So now you want your points?

Uh, look...

he's had a job for a while now,

and it's just time for him
to stop being a freeloader.

A freeloader?

Yeah. You know, I'm tired
of him not chipping in,

so I'm nipping it in the
bud right now. Kee-ya!

Calvin,

Malcolm is not a freeloader.

He's just trying to get on his feet.

Well, what he needs to
do is go in his wallet

and give me some bread for this bread.

You know what? Fine.

If that's the way you want it.

Look. Here you go.

Five dollars?

That's all I have on me.

Oh. Well, in that case...

Enjoy your salad.

Oh. Hey. I didn't think you were home.

Your car isn't out front.

Oh, yeah. Brittany took
it to go get coffee.

You let her borrow your car?

That is so nice.

Oh, I didn't say
"borrow." I said "took."

Along with $20 and my
favorite sunglasses.

Dave, she's my little sister.

What do you want me to do?

I want you to stop enabling her.

The reason she quits
everything that she does

is she knows that you'll be
right there to bail her out.

Sometimes literally.

Dave, I'm not enabling here.

I'm being supportive.

Things just don't come as easily to her.

Okay. Well, just so you know,

Grover said her Ouija board spelled out

"lend Brittany money" last night.

Look, it's not like
she's staying forever.

We both know in a few days

she'll get bored and take off

right after she asks for
a clean urine sample.

Hey, guys. Guess what?

You lost my sunglasses?

Yep, that, too.

What I meant was, I finally figured out

what I'm gonna do with my life.

I'm gonna be an actor.

What?

I was in the coffee shop

and I was arguing with the barista

of whether or not I brought
the tip jar with me,

when...

this talent agent comes up, and he says

he's going to make me... a star.

Oh.

Oh, sweetie, I know
that sounds exciting,

but I'm not sure that
that's the way it works.

Oh, uh, she's right. It's a scam.

Con artists preying on naive dreamers.

I was devastated.

No, this guy's totally legit.

He already got me an audition
for a commercial tomorrow.

Really?

Yeah.

So looks like I'm here to stay.

Huh.

You hear that?

She's here to stay.

Whew!

And we are here to be supportive.

This is so exciting!

I'm gonna go practice
my lines up in my room.

Now, that's a juicy burger.

Now, that's a juicy burger!

That's a juicy...

This is a disaster.

Dave, it's not as bad as it seems.

Yes, it is. Those were my sunglasses!

It should've been me!

Oh, that looks tasty.

Salami and cheese?

Oh, yeah, and all the fixings.

Great. That'll be seven bucks.

You can make it a combo
for a dollar more.

You know, actually, Pop,
what you said last night

made a whole lot of sense.

I shouldn't be eating your food.

So I went out and I bought my own.

Okay. Steppin' up, like I asked.

You know what? Fix me
one of those, and, um,

make it a combo.

You know, I would, Pop,

but this is all stuff I bought myself.
You see?

I put my name on it.

Okay.

You're putting your name on meat now?

Who are you, Oscar Mayer?

Yeah, well, this way, you eat your food

and I eat mine. Mm-hmm!

You know what? That is a good idea.

- Mm.
- Maybe I should start putting

my name on stuff I paid for.

Okay.

Look at that... looks like

your sandwich

is on my plate.

Well, lucky for me,

this meal is handheld.

That is lucky for you.

But what is not lucky for
you is that your food...

is in my fridge.

Not a problem. I'll get a mini fridge

for my room.

Yes. A problem.

Because...

your room is in my house.

Well, in that case, maybe
I need a place of my own.

Maybe you do.

Well, maybe I should go
look for one right now.

Maybe you should.

You know what? Fine.

Hello?

I just wanted to remind you...

that's my phone.

Well, I hope you're happy.

I just got off the phone with Malcolm.

He already found a place.

So he's still using my phone?

Calvin, your son is
moving into a one bedroom

with four strangers

all because the both of you are
too stubborn to back down.

Me? Stubborn?

I'll sit here all day and argue that.

Come on, Tina.

Moving out is gonna be good for him.

- How?
- Well, for starters,

with him out of the house,

I don't have to wear pants anymore.

That's not good for him,
that's good for you.

Well, actually, it's good for you.

You need to apologize to
your son and tell him

he can stay, or things are gonna

get ugly around here.

How ugly?

Remember the Valentine's Day
you bought me a toaster?

Uglier than that.

Good morning.

Seriously? For the last
time, stop wearing my gi.

It's a slap in the face to Sensei Chad.

So, how are you feeling?

Are you ready for your big audition?

Oh, yeah, Grover and I
rehearsed all night.

Check it out.

Now, that's a tasty burger.

I thought it was a "juicy" burger?

Yeah, but I decided "juicy"

isn't a word my character would use.

And yet, you have it
tattooed on your lower back.

So, what time do you have to be there?

Not until 9:00.

Brittany! It's 8:45.

Oh, my God, you're right.
Okay, I'm just gonna eat

something really quick
and then we'll go.

- Where's your pancake mix?
- What? No! No, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No pancakes.

Go put on some clothes. If we
hurry, we can still make it.

Fine. I'll meet you in the car.

We'll just hit up a
drive-through on the way there.

Hey.

Hey.

I got some boxes,

so I'll be out of your way by tonight.

Look, about that, um,

things got a little out
of hand yesterday,

so you don't have to move
out if you don't want to.

Oh, thank you, Pop. You
know, I've been feeling bad

about the way things went down, too.

Great. Well, go tell your mom I
said all that sensitive crap.

And, uh,

you know, tell her we hugged.

She'll eat that stuff up right there.

Wait, so you're only
saying you want me to stay

because Mom made you?

Yeah.

You expect me to wear pants
the rest of my life?

You know what? Do whatever you want,

because I'm not gonna be here to see it.

Really? You gonna act like that

after I said everything
your mama made me say?

I-I expected more from you.

And this is exactly what
I expected from you.

What is that supposed to mean?

I don't know, ask Mom.

Ha! Well, the joke's on you,

because she's not talking to me.

Oh, you're back.

How'd the audition go?

Not great.

Brittany "accidentally" spilled
coffee on another actress

and then asked the casting
director when the baby was due.

Huh. She wasn't pregnant?

No, he wasn't.

Oh.

Now that's a juicy burger.

Dave, when she comes down,
please be nice to her.

She's in a very fragile state right now.

Oh, I don't care what state she's in,

as long as it's not California.

Dave.

But I will be nice.

Well, my agent just called.

I'm sorry, sweetie.

- I know how much you wanted this.
- Yeah.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

What are you guys talking about?

I got the part.

- What?!
- Of course.

Yeah, they said they loved my
"spunky, unpredictable energy,"

which is funny, 'cause that's exactly

what my parole officer hated.

Wow. Uh, you did it. Congratulations.

Thanks. Too bad I had to turn it down.

- What?
- Of course.

Why would you turn it down?

Well, think about it.

If I booked my first audition,
I am clearly a great actor.

And great actors don't do commercials.

But this is a huge opportunity.

You're just gonna throw it away?

Yeah. Plus, they said it
was gonna air in Mexico,

and I've got mucho warrants down there.

You know what?

Dave is right.

I do enable you.

I have given you so many chances

and made so many excuses for you,

and all you do is screw it up.

But I am done.

You need to get your
stuff and go home, now.

I know. You're right.

I'm a disaster.

And the worst part is,

I don't even know why.

I-I quit anything I start,

anything good in my life
I find a way to ruin.

Even our relationship.

You're the best big sister
anybody could have,

and all I do is I-I just
take advantage of you.

I don't know what else to
say, but I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm gonna go pack my things.

Uh, Brittany, wait.

I'm sorry I said that.

Please, please, please don't go.

Are you sure?

Of course. You're my little sister.

And scene.

Wait, what?

I told you. I am a great actor.

You just made all that up?

Not all. I stole a few
lines from Gossip Girl.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

All right.

- That's it. You need to leave... now.
- What?

- You heard me.
- Okay, but...

No, I'm not giving you my pee.

Fine. Haters gonna hate.

You did it.

You finally stood up to her.

I know, but I was so harsh.

Do you think she'll get over it?

Of course she's gonna get over it.

I'll tell you what I'll never get over.

She is a way better actor
than I'll ever be.

Well, that's everything.

You know, I can't believe
you and your father

are being so stubborn about this.

He's the stubborn one.

I just refuse to give in.

Calvin, Malcolm's leaving!

Don't you have anything to say to him?

Fine.

Seriously?

You two have nothing
to say to each other?

- Nope.
- Nope.

See, that's what your problem is...
you're too much alike.

- No, we're not.
- No, we're not.

You know what?

Maybe you're right. Maybe
this is a good idea.

With Malcolm gone,

you can finally watch
football all by yourself

without anyone to debate

about who's the best player,
or argue over calls.

Sounds good to me.

And, Malcolm, you won't be stuck
playing cards with your dad.

You know, talking about politics

and what's going on in the world.

That's right. I can do
that with my roommates.

Yeah, and since two of you
sleep in the living room,

y'all can chitchat all night long.

Yeah, that's... that's gonna be fun.

And, Calvin, you don't
have to remind Malcolm

about taking the trash out anymore,

because you'll be doing it!
That's right.

Uh-huh.

Well, now that we all agree
this is for the best...

Calvin, tomorrow's trash day.

Malcolm, don't let the doorknob hit ya

where the good Lord split ya.

So, uh...

really? Two of y'all sleep
in the living room?

It's not as bad as it sounds.

We got a line of tape down the middle.

Well, fine.

I hope you enjoy watching
football with him.

Well, actually, we don't have cable,

which would be useless
anyway, because...

we don't have a TV.

What?!

Man, that's crazy.

Every man deserves to watch football.

I think that's in the Constitution.

I'll tell you what.

Why don't you come over Sunday
and watch one of the games?

Okay, that'd be cool.

Of course... there's also
MondayNight Football.

And Thursday.

That would be a lot of
driving back and forth.

Especially without your mama's gas card.

Well, maybe...

you should finish out the season here.

That does seem like
the logical solution.

Yeah, all right.

Well, uh, maybe you should
just stay for a little while.

Yeah, for a little while.

All right. Well, good. Come on.

Let me help you get these boxes in, son.

Hey, you know what, Pop?

If I am gonna stay here
for a little while,

I think I should start paying rent.

You damn straight you are.

And I'm talking market rate.

I don't play that rent control.

Hey, Dave. You take
Brittany to the airport?

Actually, the train station.

She says the airport is
"bounty hunter central."

Well, congratulations.

You got rid of your freeloader.

Oh, not me. It was all Gemma.

What about you?

Uh, you and Malcolm
figure everything out?

Yeah. You know, um, he and Tina
begged me not to kick him out,

so, what are you gonna do, you know?

Dave, we got to go.

Where?

The train station just called.

Apparently, they have a jail.

Oh, check out this crazy white girl

fighting on YouTube.

Brittany?!

Damn!

She put that conductor to sleep.

And look at that.

She's wearing my sunglasses!

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -