Original subtitles

-Hello? -Hi Tanu! What are you doing?

-What's the time? -Uh..It's 7:30.

-Where? There or in India? -In India.

-Tell me. What are you doing? -Frying "pakodas".

Are you still having oily food? Didn't the doctor tell you not to?

Mikesh, it's 7:30 in the morning man, what is this?

Sorry.

I just wanted to say 'Good Morning'.

Hmm. Okay. Good Morning.

FUCK!

Girlfriend.

She got a little upset.

How are you?

You need to make an entry.

Ritu!

I'm not going jogging today, you go!

Ritu, Ritu. We have a major situation! Mikesh is in India!

What are you blabbering about early morning?

He's joining from next month. He's in the US right now.

No! Trust me! I know he's here!

Garbage?

Mikesh.

Why would he surprise you like this?

It's not even your birthday and Valentine's day is also gone.

Go back to sleep, man.

That's what I'm terrified off!

This can mean only one thing!

Are you serious?

No!

I'm just not ready, man!

Then say 'No'.

No, no, no, no, no!

I can't!

I can't hurt his feelings.

Tanya!

Oye!

Don't zone out.

What if he just came to meet you?

If I know him right,

then he's right outside the door, on his knees, with a ring in his hand.

You've been in a long distance relationship for 3 years,

and you both dated for just a month before that.

Why would anyone propose like this?

You're overthinking.

I know him!

The first thing he'll say to me after coming back to India is...

Will you marry me?

Will you marry me?

Will you marry ME?

Just relax. Calm down. Open.

Go, go.

Will you marry...

Madam, please tie up the garbage bag. The cat litters everything.

801?

801!

901!

Ass!

Mikesh?

Tanya!

Tanya Nagpal, will you marry me?

Mikesh! Move aside a little.

Sorry.

So?

How did you like the surprise?

It was great, right?

You are so lucky!

Yeah...Umm...

Actually... umm...

Mikesh...

About that...

We need to talk.

We have all the time we need.

Won't you make some tea for your future husband?

Okay.

Hey, Ruchi!

Wassup?

I've heard a lot about you.

Hi. "Ritu"!

Mikesh.. "Ritu" is a girl's name!

Can I speak to you for a minute?

We'll be back in two minutes?

What's all this about tea and stuff? When are you going to tell him?

Ritu! He just arrived. I'll tell him after lunch.

After lunch? At the pace he's moving, you'll have two kids by then.

Hey guys!

Wassup?

What's going on?

Actually, we...

We are talking about sanitary pads...

Cool.

It's a sexy flat!

What a view!

Woah, Donald Duck!

How much does one cost?

Umm... Mikesh,

I actually wanted to speak to you about the marraige.

Yeah, tell me!

Actually, there's this...er...

Er...

I'll just go!

I'll go.

She's great, man.

Is she single?

Should I introduce her to Tiwari?

Mikesh, everything's happening really fast.

Don't worry, there is time.

We'll first have lunch and then go check out the house.

Check out the house?

Yeah!

We'll shift into a new house after we get married, right?

Look at this.

I have already started looking.

These are all 2 BHKs in the 35K range.

This one's 2 and a half BHK.

We can turn this small room into a prayer room.

Mikesh! Are you serious?

There is no way, I am going go look for houses with you!

Please! I mean! 1 BHK, 2BHK, 3BHK!

I don't want to go!

No!

I am not going to go anywhere today to look for houses. Okay?

Please! No! No way!

No!

Not at all! Thanks!

The flat is good.

Nice, right?

It's a very good flat, Mikesh.

Look this is a window.

There is a park outside the window. Come on, please come inside.

There are trees in the park.

One is a Neem tree and the other is a guava tree.

Dont pluck the guavas from the guava tree; The gardener beats the shit out of you.

Come inside.

You hold this, and give this to me.

You check all the switches.

Come on, come.

Here is another window.

From this one, every tuesday, you can see the vegetable market.

Okay.

This is Govind

He is a painter and mechanic.

And also my uncle's son.

Uncle, Govind and guavas are all fine, but can you tell me more about the flat?

Where is the kitchen?

Oh, the kitchen?

Yeah.

Govind, did you break the kitchen?

Mr. Purshottam, how long have you been doing this?

It has been a week today.

And before that?

Actually my father is suffering from piles.

Normally he's the one who looks after everything.

I am studying in a polytechnic.

Oh. Cool!

Mr. Purshottam. Can we talk?

Yes. Go ahead.

No, not to you. Between ourselves.

Us... Some personal discussion.

Ohh.. Personal discussion.

Govind, lets leave. They have to talk. Go ahead with your personal discussion.

Mikesh. This needs to stop. Just listen to me for two minutes, please.

Yeah, tell me.

Mikesh I have thought a lot about this.

And I feel that...

Tell me.

35K rent is too much for this flat, right? I mean, we should look for another flat

Yeah right? Even I feel the same.

And there are bachelors around. We should live in a society with families.

This paint... I'll have to wash my hands

Is there a bathroom, or did they break that too?

-Tanu, did you fall down ? -No, I am okay.

Cool.

Will you have tea ma'am?

It's hot.

Where is he?

-Hey, Tanya! -Yeah?

-Tanya... -Sir, will you have tea?

Tea...

Please open the lock from outside. I am unable to unlock it.

I think I am stuck

Okay, gimme a minute.

Oh yes. Daddy had told me that the knob doesn't work.

Did the knob inside break?

The knob has broken. How do I come out now?

Sir please don't jump. Its very high.

Why are you telling me all this now?

I thought he had peed at his place.

Who uses the washroom and in an unknown place?

Tanya, please call someone

Yes. One minute. What do we do?

What now? I have even sent off Govind.

He will be back at night.

Even the tea will get cold by then.

Should I drink it?

Tanya...

Mikesh, do you have my phone?

Yes.

Google a carpenter's number.

There is no network in the bathroom.

At least call the gaurd.

Madam...

I owe him some money...

Oh.. I'll go with you then. Mikesh, I'll be back.

-Where are you going? -I am coming back, man.

What do you mean I'm coming back? What will I do here?

I'll get bored!

Tanya!