Original subtitles

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Kim, this isn't just a big deal.

It's a big, hairy deal.

It's Driver's Ed, Ron. No big.

This isn't any old class, K.P.

This is a rite of passage.

Today we get behind the wheel of Detroit steel.

I repeat, no big.

Oh, oh, really, Kim?

Need I remind you of Russell Needlemeyer?

He flunked Driver's Ed,

and now he lives in his parents' basement

and takes the bus

to his job as a taxidermist.

Russell has a lot of issues.

Yes! And they all started in Driver's Ed.

People, today is the most important day

of your young lives.

Today you pass through the doorway to adulthood.

Today you drive.

( Cheering )

But first, a film. Lights.

NARRATOR: This used to be Judy's car.

And what a swell car it was.

Downright nifty for going to sock hops

and soda parlors.

What's a sock hop?

What's a soda parlor?

But that was all before Judy's

keen little coupe became...

You can imagine what that carnage

would look like in color.

Don't look away, people!

( Tires screeching, metal scraping crash )

He said that?

Well, he just moved

from "hottie" to "nottie."

Okay, who's ready to roll?

( Dramatic squeaking groan )

? Oh, yeah, yeah ?

? I'm your basic average girl ?

? And I'm here to save the world ?

? You can't stop me 'cause I'm... ?

? Kim Possible ?

? There is nothing I can't do ?

? When danger calls, just know that I am on my way ?

? Know that I am on my way ?

? It doesn't matter where or when there's trouble ?

? If you just call my name ?

? Kim Possible ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? When you want to page me, it's okay ?

? Whenever you need me, baby ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Call me, beep me if you want to reach me ?

? Doesn't matter where, doesn't matter when ?

? Doesn't matter when ?

? I will be there for you till the very end ?

? Danger or trouble, I'm there on the double ?

? You know that you always can call Kim Possible. ?

True, the microcircuitry problem

has yet to be solved.

And, of course, there is

the positronic interface to think about.

But the basic theoretical work is sound, right?

Or am I completely cracked?

Well...?

I'm thinking, I'm thinking.

Done thinking; it'll work.

Wonderful! Let's celebrate.

Blender, whip up a banana smoothie.

You got it, Dr. Freeman.

Stereo, party mix, if you please.

Oh, yeah, cranking it up, baby.

( Music playing )

I got a pita pocket, and I'm ready to warm.

Microwave, you know me all too well.

Cancel that order.

Good morning, Dr. Freeman.

( Salsa music playing )

Ugh!

You're coming with me.

Wha...?! I...

Someone's trying to take Dr. Freeman.

Attack! ( grunting )

( whirring ) Ah!

( Beeping )

Ah!

Make it stop.

Make it... stop?

What happened?

You know, for someone who's supposedly a mad genius,

I'm not seeing much of the genius.

Keep it up, Shego,

and you'll see plenty of the mad.

Ooh, scary man.

Um... pardon me,

but what is it you two want?

You're going to help me, Dr. Freeman,

with a little problem I'm having.

And pay for my dry cleaning as well.

( Tires screeching )

( tires screeching )

Hey, this school's insurance will cover the damage, right?

( Quavering groan )

Looks like you

and old Russ Needlemeyer

are going to spend some quality time

together at the bus stop.

Rockwaller, tell me you can break this string

of spirit-crushing failures.

Of course he's a frube, but he's a beautiful frube.

Rockwaller!

Ugh. I got to do this thing.

Flip side.

Let's drive.

You are ready for the pro circuit, Rockwaller.

Wow. Bonnie passed?

Don't choke.

Only when I see you.

This should be a cinch for you, Possible.

Right.

No big, Mr. B.

What do you think you're doing?

Starting the car?

Without your seat belt?

Oh, yeah, right.

( Engine starts )

Now what are you doing?

Uh, driving.

Not without checking your mirrors

you're not, missy.

Mirrors. Gotcha.

Rite of passage...

Doorway to adulthood...

Ghost car...

Don't choke.

BARKIN: Put it in gear.

Put it in gear, Possible.

Oh, yeah, right.

Sorry.

Watch your speed.

Cut the wheel.

This isn't jolly old England, Possible.

Huh? Right side.

Oh. Squirrel.

Squirrel? Is that like a K-turn?

It's like a squirrel.

( Gasps )

( tires screeching )

So, do I pass?

( Sizzling hiss )

Hmm. Some sort of manufacturing facility.

DRAKKEN: Very observant, Dr. Freeman.

This factory once manufactured family station wagons,

but I twisted it.

My parents had a station wagon.

Went to sock hops and soda parlors in it.

Oh, neato. Where was I?

Twisted it.

I've twisted it to a grander purpose,

a far more insidious threat,

a much deadlier...

He's building an army of robots.

Why do you do that?

Evil rants is one of the best perks of the job.

Yeah, well, it's boring, y-you know?

( Angry stammering )

Bring in the destructo-bots!

You've already built your robot army,

so why do you need me?

It's really just a formality.

Dot the "I," stick a pin in it, if you will...

I'll show you, 'cause it's pretty...

Destructo-bots, attack!

Destructo-bots, switch off.

All right, fine.

My destructo-bots are stupid.

Your creations, on the other hand, are smart.

Smart and funny.

My toaster's quite the wag.

Always good for a witty rejoinder.

I just want the smart.

Forget it! I'll never help you

in your plans for world conquest.

I was hoping you'd say that.

You've given me the chance to test...

the brain sifter!

Yay!

( Squeaky laughter )

So, as you can see

from this very conclusive demonstration,

it's not so much

that I lost control of the car

as it is they built the gym

too close to the parking lot.

I never choke, ever.

Check the motto; I can do anything.

Right. You can do anything, including fail.

See the logic?

Too bad you weren't in

the remote controlled car today, Kim.

Maybe you would've passed.

As long as Crash Stoppable wasn't at the controls.

Just 'cause you're the only one who passed Barkin's test,

doesn't mean that...

Hold that thought. Rufus!

Rufus! Come back!

Oh, he's gone!

He's gone forever!

( Crying )

Oh, my sweet naked mole rat! Why?! Why?!

( Tires screeching )

Good to have you back, little buddy.

( Squeaky gibberish )

I am so over cars.

There's nothing wrong with walking.

Yeah, yeah, I'm thinking this whole

driving thing is way overrated.

( Beeping )

Did Thomas Jefferson drive a car?

Did George Washington?

Sure, the Wright Brothers flew airplanes,

but did they drive?

Actually, I don't know, but the point is...

Ron, we're being followed.

Really? Are you sure?

Only one way to find out.

( Panting )

This way.

( Gasping )

( grunting )

( cat screeching )

( bicycle bell ringing )

I'd just like to point out

that that was two fences in a row,

and I didn't rip my pants.

Let no one doubt your mad fence-jumping skills, Ron.

Now move.

( Pants ripping )

( groans )

What happened to you?

Nothing.

I think we lost the car.

Kim Possible?

Yes?

I've come for you.

Ghost car!

( Yelling )

Does he do this often?

Almost daily.

Ron, chill.

I highly doubt this SUV is possessed by spirits.

I'm a systemized, automotive driving intelligence,

but my passengers call me "Sadie." No ghosts?

No ghosts. ( horn beeps )

I am equipped with ejector seats,

disintegrator ray,

and I come in a variety of colors. Cool.

What about the monogram... Too much?

I like.

Whoa!

That drink holder looks large enough

to hold a king-size Slurpster.

King size? Yum.

Okay, I'm impressed, but what do you want from me?

Some freak snatched my inventor, Dr. Freeman.

I found your website.

I've never had a hit from a car before.

Can you really do anything?

Oh, yeah... you know, except a K-turn.

Any clue who did it?

Clueless, but the blender might know something.

Did you say "blender"?

It was all...

so chaotic.

Yep, that's a talking blender, all right.

Oh, creepy.

Just tell us whatever you can

about the people who took Dr. Freeman.

Well, one of them was rogueish

and the other was petulant,

I-I guess I would say.

Rogueish and petulant.

Um, okay, can you be a little more descriptive?

Height, weight... Anything that might even be

just like a teensy bit useful, you know?

Look, I wasn't built with eyes.

Try the toaster.

Truth be told, I was concentrating

on making the toast that was perfect: golden brown.

Good man.

Wait, I just remembered.

Spill.

Their body temperature

was at 98.6 degrees.

Well, great... that narrows the list of suspects down to...

let's see... everybody in the whole wide world.

There's no need to get testy.

Sorry, but generally K.P. and I

get a little more to go on.

A picture maybe, or some fingerprints.

Or even a voice. Did you say a voice?

I recorded the whole thing, baby.

You wait until the blender and I

are about to mix it up to mention this?

DRAKKEN: Good morning, Dr. Freeman.

You're coming with me.

BOTH: Drakken!

My compliments.

Dr. Freeman... You've survived

the brain sifter, and the mind drill,

and the cranial drain.

I didn't want to do this, Doctor,

but you've forced my hand.

Help me, please!

Come on, do me a salad.

Your entreaties are falling on deaf ears.

Yep, just like I thought.

This guy won't help us

because he can't help us.

Shego, what are you saying... The man's a genius.

The world's leading expert on computerized automation.

If he really knew his stuff,

he'd fix your robots

and be on his merry way.

Right, Dr. Drakken? Huh?

Oh! I see.

Yes, you're right.

This Freeman clearly is a poseur.

What?! Yeah. We should have grabbed

some other scientist.

Yes... perhaps somebody

from Lowerton Community College.

Those hacks? I can program circles

around those buffoons.

You talk the talk. Prove it.

Can't even program a VCR at that place.

Bet you can't fix my death ray, either.

Hey, don't... don't push it.

Can you not?

KIM: Pop quiz, Wade:

Drakken plus expert on computerized intelligence

equals...

An evil robot army?

Has to be.

I'll cross-reference abandoned factories with shipments

of robotic parts and microprocessor orders.

You techno rock, Wade.

I try... but this is a needle/haystack scenario, Kim.

Might take some time. I'll check in after school.

Later, Dad. Need a ride to school, Kimmie?

Already got one. With a boy?

No... a self-driving

computerized sport utility

vehicle. Okey-dokey.

As long as it's not a boy.

RON: The moment of truth is here.

Yes!

It fits!

The king-size Slurpster fits!

All right, all right, put a lid on it.

You look like a spiller.

( Slurping )

Ooh, brain freeze.

What's wrong, K.P.?

There's a driver side drink holder, too.

I'm good on the beverage front.

It's Driver's Ed that's got me torqued.

Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.

Excuse me?

Driver's education?

Yeah, Mr. Barkin's test course is deadly.

Heinous and deadly.

Hello? What am I missing here?

Self-driving car... I was made for this.

Right. We take Barkin's test in Sadie, and we ace it!

It's perfect, K.P. No, Ron, I'm not going to cheat.

Is using

a calculator in algebra cheating?

I don't use a calculator.

Okay, well, is cutting

and pasting stuff from the Internet

and call it a term paper cheating?

You are kidding, right?

What? I can pass

this test on my own.

I know I can.

( Birds chirping )

You know what they say, Mr. B.

"Any crash you can walk away from..."

Stoppable, I got two words for you:

"public transportation."

Rite of passage.

Doorway to adulthood.

I was made for this.

Get in the car.

In the car, Possible!

Ooh, right, sorry.

Not even buckled in and she's already choking.

I can't just idle and watch this.

( Gasps )

( tires screeching )

What are you doing?

State-mandated paperwork.

Are we doing this test or not, Possible?

Yes, sir.

Don't worry, sweetie.

I've got you covered.

How's that?

I, um...

I've got it covered, um...

sweetie.

I am impervious to sweet talk, Possible...

Start the car.

Well done.

Now let's see a K-turn.

K-turn?

Honey, I'll give you the whole alphabet.

Pardon me? Uh, you might want to hang on.

Even dotted the "I."

Magnificent. A-plus-plus.

( Chuckles nervously ) ( horn beeps )

RON: You aced it!

I knew you could! Say, uh...

you'll give me rides, right...

'cause the whole Russ Needlemeyer thing...

It really freaks me out.

Can we not talk cars, please?

Hey, Kimmie, just want you to know

I can still drive circles around you.

Anytime, anyplace, Bonnie... as long as it's

before dark, and I have a licensed driver

in the car. Whatever.

You know, you seem a little agitated

for a girl who just aced her driver's test.

I cheated... well,

Sadie cheated for me,

but the guilt is still major.

You cheated? She just did it.

I'm sorry, let me rephrase.

You cheated... and you didn't let me cheat, too?!

I didn't cheat, Ron... I mean,

is it cheating if I cheated, but didn't mean to cheat?

What? ( device beeps )

What's the sitch, Wade?

Drakken's lair... found it.

Drakken, release Dr. Freeman.

Are they partying?

I told you I could do it.

I know... I told you you could do it.

I never doubted you.

Sadie,

you came!

Ooh, it's quite exciting.

Dr. Drakken had a programming glitch

in his destructo-bots

that he was sure I couldn't fix.

Well, I showed him.

Hi. Kim Possible.

Came to save you... Did you just say

"fixed Drakken's destructo-bots"?

Yes. They work perfectly now.

( Whirring )

Which might not be a good thing.

( Gasps ): Uh-oh.

Destructo-bots, vaporize them all.

But start with Kim Possible!

( Gasps )

Ooh, that's going to scratch the paint.

No. Scratch-proof paint.

Nice.

Duck!

( Gasps )

( delighted groan )

Brain freeze!

Never underestimate the power of the Slurpster.

King size.

Shego, Kim Possible

and that sporty utility vehicle

are destroying my robots!

And that's why you have me around.

Real nice.

Sadie!

( All gasp ) Uh-oh.

( Rapid whirring )

( maniacal chuckle )

( gurgling )

( yells )

I don't want to melt.

Come on. We're gone.

( Yells )

Farewell, Kim Possible.

We won't meet again.

Anybody see a way out of here?

No. And it's not for a lack of trying.

I can get us out.

Sadie, you're still alive.

Yeah, but my automated guidance systems are fried.

Someone's going to have to drive me out of here.

No problem. Doc Freeman can take the wheel.

Oh, sorry. I can't drive.

You can't drive?

Why else build a self-driving car?

Great.

All right, all right, when the chips are down

Ron Stoppable takes charge.

Now, which one of these pedal thingies do I step on

to make it go-go?

( Mumbles and whines )

Miss Possible,

you'll have to take the wheel.

Me? No way.

Confession time, Kim.

I lied. I didn't cheat for you during Barkin's test.

You didn't?

I was going to, but then I realized

you were doing just fine by yourself,

so I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.

Really? So I can drive?

A-plus-plus, baby.

Seat belts: check.

Mirrors: check.

Hot metal: check.

Could you just floor it please?!

KIM: Going.

( Tires screeching )

( gasps ): Ikes.

Dead end!

( Brakes screech )

And this passage is too narrow.

You'll never pull a U-turn!

Then the K-turn's all I've got.

Boo-yeah!

Wall!

( Yells )

( screams )

( tires screeching )

Whoa-ho-ho!

Way to drive, K.P.!

Well done, indeed.

Want the cherry on top, Kim?

Just press the red button.

Well...

my robot army was a failure,

but at least Kim Possible won't be around

to ruin my future schemes.

See? Always a silver lining.

Yes.

( Chuckles )

Do you hear something?

Kim Possible, you think your car's all that,

but it's not!

Nailed the bad guys and Mr. Barkin's test.

I call that a good week.

Confession time 2.0, Kim.

I really did do all the driving on Barkin's test.

What?

Are you saying you lied about lying?

Hey, I knew Kim was a good driver.

She just needed a little confidence boost,

so I fibbed.

Well, I hate to approve of dishonesty... you know,

except for when it works and no one notices.

But I did really drive just now, right?

You swear?

Cross my carburetor and hope to stall.

( Brakes squeak )

So did I pass?

Why would the best student driver I've ever seen

insist on retaking her test only to lower her grade?

Just something I had to do. So?

You passed.

B-minus.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

I'll never understand teenagers.

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