All language subtitles for Jane.the.Virgin.S02E18.720p.WEB-DL.2CH.x265.HEVC-PSA

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
All righty, diving in--
Jane and Michael were planning

a wedding...
Will you marry me?
Yes!

...and it was going
to be at the house, but then

this happened. Luckily,
Rogelio came to the rescue

and he built them a model
of the house on the soundstage,

and the family
moved into the Marbella.

And all was well until
Jane's bachelorette party,

when this happened.
Mom?

Jane, I'm sorry.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, and speaking
of family drama,

Rafael finally bonded
with his long-lost brother.

Only problem?

After a night of drinking
he acted on an insider tip.

I just made $5 million.

So, we should probably get
our stories straight, right?

Brandon knew they
had the patent

before they announced
it this morning.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know!

Bad news, right?
Well, how about this?

I'm sorry.
I don't want
your apology, Mom.

At this point, you are just
a cautionary tale.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: I know!
I hate that they're fighting.

Let's hope it ends soon.

You'll recall
when Jane was young,

she fell in love...

with salsa.

And right away, well...

she was ready to go steady.

Please, please, please.
Just consider it.

Because I know I love salsa.
When I saw it,

it spoke to my soul.

You know what,

let's do it.

What?

It spoke
to her soul.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: But alas,
the conversation was short.

Because while Jane
loved watching salsa,

it turned out
she hated dancing salsa.

Like, seriously hated it.

But I'm terrible.

Please don't make me.

Oh, come on,
she's miserable.

Yeah, you're right.

Come on, we don't want
to miss the warm-ups.

Don't worry, you
don't have to perform.

What?

Screw principle.
Let's have an adventure.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And so they Thelma and Louised
it out of there.

And that night
solidified one thing:

Jane hated dancing salsa.

But she loved her mother.

Until... everything changed.

(salsa music playing)
(exclaims)

See, recently,

salsa became
an obsession once again.

Tonight I am not just
dancing for myself.

I am dancing for Cuba!

No way.
That line is ridiculous.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
At least for a character

in Jane's novel-in-progress.

Okay, much better.

Yeah.
I would definitely say that.

With lust in my eyes.

(door opens)
MICHAEL: You sure you
want to take two cars?

And she was also--
how to put this...

Positive. I don't
want to ride with her.

...hating her mother.

Got it.

(door closes)
We have five minutes.

Back to me.

I was heaving passionately.

Mm.

What?

(elevator bell dings)

So, listen, I was
thinking about

this fight with your mom,

and, I don't know,
maybe it's time

for a cease-fire there.
I know she crossed a line.

Oh, when she got trashed
and made out with Lina's guy?

She did apologize.

And I always forgive her.

That's the problem.

XIOMARA:
The problem is

what Jane said
when I apologized.

She called me a cautionary tale.

And I meant what I said.

She's my daughter.

I'm just sick of having
to act like her mother.

She can't talk
to me like that.

You know, she can't
behave like that.

See you there?
Oh, uh-huh.

(both sigh)

Can you say "mama"?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now.

To the Villanueva house.

Abuela.

Abuela.
Mama.

Fine. Go ahead.

I said everything
I wanted to yesterday.

And you're not gonna apologize?

Apologize? Me?

Hello, hello.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Sorry, I can't remember

her last name.
It's not important.

JANE: Hello, Tammy.
Hey, Tammy.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
The point is, she's

their insurance adjuster.
Okay, so

let's see where we are
in terms of damages.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I'm no expert but I'd say the
damage is pretty substantial.

Thank you, baby.

Please, come in.
Thank you.

Don't hold your breath
waiting for me to apologize.

What I will do is have
a serious discussion

about your behavior.
Okay, wow.

Wow. Uh, here's the
good news. You have insurance.

Don't talk to me
like I'm a five-year-old.
Which means you'll get

I'm sorry. Uh, you're not
a five-year-old.
a nice chunk of change

to fix this place up.
Maybe an update?
You're more
like a 16-year-old.

She doesn't get a vote,
she's leaving.

Just keep Mom's room
the same,

because she's gonna
live here forever.

XIOMARA:
Bye, Tammy.

Come on, Ma,
I'll drive you to work.

Hello? Did you forget that
you said that you'd watch Mateo?

Oh. I thought you didn't want me
taking care of your child.

Since I'm so

immature and irresponsible.

Stop. You're on the schedule,

and I need to meet
with my advisor.

Not my problem.

Xiomara.
No, it's fine,

Abuela.
He doesn't need to learn

how to pound shots
before he can walk.

(engine starts)

Oh, okay, this is bad.

My schedule's gonna implode.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah yes, the sacred

child care schedule. What every
working parent relies on.

Jane's is, of course,
more elaborate than most.

I'll watch Mateo.
Really?

Yeah, I'd love to.
Are you kidding?

I told you, I used
to watch my cousin's kids.

I know what I'm doing.
Just send me the list.

What lists?
Don't "what list" me,
I know there's a list

of instructions
you're dying to send me.

Just e-mail them to me,
I want to do this right.

The more detail the better.

You're really
turning me on right now.

(grunts loudly)

(gasps)

(Jane giggles)

(phone chimes)

It's your dad again.
I'm supposed to remind you

to pick out your
wedding dress by Thursday

and see if you looked
at something called

a Lauren Conrad
wedding calendar.

Oh...
(phone chimes)

ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com

(knocking at door)

Hello, Rogelio.
Oh, uh, hello,

dear network executives.

Please, come in.

(laughs nervously)

To what do I owe
this pleasant surprise?

We're here because of

the new set you built.

The house.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes.

Rogelio's grand gesture.

Here's where
you're getting married.

And, as you can see,
the reception

will spill out
onto the soundstage.

You cannot use the crew
for personal reasons.

I don't know what you heard,

but I did not

use the crew

for personal reasons.

I had them
build the house

for Tiago's next adventure,
of course.

Tiago travels through time
to epic moments in history.

This week he kills baby Hitler.

What epic event

can possibly be filmed
in that house?

It's an epic idea

told in a small,
slice-of-life story.

As Mark Twain said,

art is holding
a mirror up to nature.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
It was actually Shakespeare.

So what's the idea?

No, no.

Another famous saying:
show, don't tell.

But trust me, the story
will knock your socks off.

Mind-blowing
telenovela twists,

but the kind that
everyone can relate to.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Like being stressed
because you got drunk

and made $5 million
in an accidental insider trade.

Totally relatable.

(knocking at door)
Excuse me, Mr. Solano?

Barbara Fairwick's on line one.

Barbara?

Okay, thank you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Who's this Barbara Fairwick

that's got him so excited?

Barbara. How are you?

Really?

Find Petra. Now.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. Petra.

That shower.
Warm water, whole time.

I feel like Ottokar the First.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oops. There she is.

In other relatable
telenovela twists,

Petra's secret twin
showed up and...

Wait, I should show, not tell.

Here's where we left off.

Oh, my God.

My long-lost sister.

It's you. It's really you.

Oh!

Hey! I do that, too.
Jumping when scared.

I need personal space.
Sometimes I scratch.

And all my life,
thinking I have no family.

Look, I'm sorry,
I don't understand.

W... Where did you live?

Orphanage.

You seeing
the movie Annie?

Like that.

Only no nice
Miss Hannigan for us.

And my Sandy was a rat.

You think I-I can

bother you for
a little bit more food?

Then I living in room
with ten women

and one bring home magazine

and they saying it looks
like me, only beautiful.

It was you.

(slurps)

So then

I go to government building

and I find two
certificate of birth.

So then I sell goat

and I have money
to come here.

Well, that's...
quite the story.

Oh, you...

you still have some, uh,
chocolate on your finger.

No, uh, hair dye.

I fix for you.

(laughs)

Roots make me
look like old lady.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, yes. Prematurely gray.

It happens when you've lived
a hard knock life.

Which brings us back here.

I change, then I start to clean.

No, I get.
No, no! Wait.

Leaping lizards.

Petra, I just talked
to Barbara and it's true.

She's selling
the Fairwick.
(squeaks)

PETRA:
Anezka!

Why don't you
go get changed?

RAFAEL:
Wait...

What the...?

Wow.

This is unbelievable.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And yet, somehow,
just believable enough.

I guess twins really do
run in your family.

Oh, my God. Thank God
my postpartum medication

also helps with anxiety.

Wait, so Barbara really
wants to sell the Fairwick?
Yep.

Lachlan overspent
on construction, she fired him,

and now she just wants out.
Which means

I can scoop it up at a fire
sale, increase our beachfront.

And it's got the golf club,
which is guaranteed revenue.

You can stop floating
the Marbella.
And then our views

will never be blocked.

Can you afford it?

Not sure.

But I am meeting
with my money managers.

JANE:
Wish me luck

with my advisor.
MICHAEL:
Luck!

And as for why
you're really calling, Mateo

is fine. We're just sitting
here, reading books.

You are not.
Okay.

We're superheroes. And
anticipating your next question,

he ate mashed up
blueberries

and smeared them on his onesie.
Oh, no.

Not the one that Glamma bought.
Yeah.

But I consulted
your List Number Three,

Subcategory Laundry,
Item Number Four.

Used Dreft: Active Baby,

good as new.
Amazing.

You're amazing. Thank you
so much for babysitting.

Of course.

Uh, good luck
with Professor Donaldson.

(groans)

Well, it still feels
a little flat.

And, like,
all about

romance.

Well,

it-it is a romance novel.

I just wish the work
incorporated

some critique of the genre.

I mean, all this march to the
wedding stuff seems so outdated.

Though it-it does take place
in 1962.

Yeah, but we are
not living

in that time period.

("Wedding March" ringtone
playing)
Sorry.

Oh, um...

uh, my dad must've
changed my ringtone.

(clears throat)

I hear you.

It feels flat.
And I will

juice it up
and get you new pages

and get this novel done
by deadline,

no problem.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Then why does it feel
like a problem?

Hey.

Nice suit.
Yeah.

Turns out bankers want you
to look businesslike

when you ask them to loan you
large sums of money.

I might be buying
the Fairwick.

What? Really?

I can just scrape
together enough.

It's a good investment,
you know, long-term.

Well, I hope
it works out.

And if you need
an extra couple hundred bucks...

(laughs)
Thank you.

I'll head up with you.
I'll say hi to Mateo.

Sure.

Michael's watching him.

(elevator bell dings)

Michael?
Yeah. Um,
my mom canceled,

and you had
a meeting.
No, I totally get it.

Just a little surprised.

He's experienced with babies?

Yeah, he actually is.

Hmm, that's... that's great.

(elevator bell dings)

(gasps)
Hello. Hi!

Who's that?
Daddy's here.

Hi.
(kissing)

How was it?
It was great.

We had a lot of fun.
Oh.

That's great. Hey, buddy.

Come here.
Oh, come to Daddy.

I missed you.

And, friends, that's when Mateo
said his first word.

Da-da!

Unfortunately, he said it
to the wrong man.

"Da" is one of those easier
sounds for a baby to make.

Like, it-it
means nothing.

Dada.
We get it, Mateo.

Enough. Stop showing off!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, here we are, with Jane.

Trying to write.

And move on
from that Dada debacle.

Geez.

It should be noted that this is
what Jane wanted to say...

Oh, my God, Mom,

Mateo called Michael
"Dada" in front of Rafael.

And here's
what she actually said.

ROGELIO:
Please,

it's a small gesture.

Why?

Fine. I admit,

I'm trying to sweet-talk you
into something.

Well, I'm not an actor.
I don't thrill to my own image

in quite the same way you do.

Might I suggest Kylie's Lip Kit?

Anyway, I'll cut
to the chase.

I need a very special story
written for Tiago.

So I thought, no,
who's the smartest,

best writer I know?

What's the story?

It's about a house.

A small, modest, ordinary house.

Are you asking me
to base a story on a set?

Yes, exactly.
Rogelio, that
is not how

the writing process works.

What about Titanic?
Based on a boat.

Write me Titanic in a house.

Please.

My writers have produced
nothing but turds

despite the many, many
motivating e-mails

I have sent them.

I want ten percent
above my quote.
Done.

An executive producer credit.
Signed, sealed,
delivered.

And I have a niece
who wants to act.

What does
she look like?

(laughing):
I'm just... I'm-I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. She's hired.
It's a deal.

And speaking of deals,

Rafael and Petra
were also hoping to make one.

Barbara, thank you so much for
taking the time to meet with us.

And I just want to reiterate
that our intention

is to preserve the history
and integrity of the Fairwick.

I get a good feeling
about you.

Oh, stop.
I'm a hugger.

Oh.
(chuckles)
(chuckles)

You, too,
sweetie.

Oh. Mmm...
Oh...

I will be in touch.

(sighs)

(whispering):
You were great.
You were great.

Almost makes up for
the whole "dada" thing.

Well, this dada just secured
his children's legacy.

MATEO (babbling): Dada.
All right, Mateo.

Shh. Nap time.

(sighs)
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Ah, finally.

Time to make some progress
on that rewrite.

SALSA SOPHIA (laughing):
Oh, thank God.

I knew our fight was
a misunderstanding.

A few ballistic missiles
can't keep us apart.

Please, Jane, I know that
Robert will propose soon.

Friends,
Jane was in the zone.

Riding the wave. In the flow.

And our bodies are so close
I can feel his heart beat.

(knocking on door)
And just then there was
a knock at the door.

What?

Hey.

Oh, my God, I lost track
of time. Is it 1:00?

Sure is.
Okay.

Good. Uh, he's napping,

so I'll just go wake him.
Uh, wait, real quick.

I just need to talk
to you about something.

Mm-hmm?

I want more time with Mateo.

Three days a week
instead of two.

Uh, is this because of
the whole "dada" thing?

Because he's been calling
me "dada" all morning.

It just brought up the fact

that I want to be the man
most present in Mateo's life,

and I think I should be.

Yeah. Yeah, I get that.

Um, you're his father.

And speaking
of a present father.

Jane, surprise.

Welcome to wedding central.

Also known as Jane's
office at school.

Dad, what is going on?

If the mountain will not come to
Muhammad, then Muhammad will...

take seven different tiaras
to the mountain.

You look beautiful.
DINA: Huh.

DINA:
Maybe we could do a religious
conversion story for Tiago.

No, no, no, no, no, no,
God is not sexy.

Listen, we have fallen behind
LC's wedding pre-checklist.

We have to make some decision.

Here. What do you think?

Dad, this is not a great time.
I have a meeting in ten minutes.

That's all I need.
Jane, could you please look
at all this wedding stuff

so I can get him to concentrate
on our script?

Fine. Go, Dad.
What's on your checklist?

First, please tell me
you and your mom went back

to the dress shop.

Well?

I love it so much.

Mom, you said that
about all three of them.

WOMAN:
Take your time.

Take some pictures.

Sleep on it.

No, not yet.

Everyone knows that alterations
take at least a month.

Okay, I'll go this week.
Jane.

Why are you
and your mom fighting?

MARLENE:
Nice tiara.

Welcome to wedding central!

Uh, Dad, this is my advisor.

Great. Please advise Jane
on some wedding decisions.

She has less
than six weeks.

No, Dad, Marlene's
not really a wedding person.

Oh, I see.

Don't worry.

There's still a
chance for you.

Many people marry later in life.

Don't lose hope.

I just wanted to apologize
again for my dad.

He did not mean to offend you.
I'm not offended.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You seem offended.

Frankly, your assumption that I
would be offended is offensive.

I don't want
to get married, Jane.

So, please, don't put me in
your suffocating marriage plot.

Got it.

Sorry.

My whole life is not built
around that goal.

And neither is mine.

Did I say it was?

I mean, yeah, basically.
No.

So about the chapter
that I sent you.

(sighs)

Well, it made me sad.

But at least now
I have some context...

I'm sorry. Can I ask you?

Is your problem with me
or my writing?

Both, frankly.

Well, "frankly," I'm not
too thrilled with you either.

But you know what,
lucky for both of us,

it's almost the end of the year,
so we really don't have

to put up with each other
that much longer.

And speaking of
longer-term problems...

So you found each other.

That's all you're
going to say, Mother?

We need an
explanation.

Explanation?

I was pregnant, all alone,
behind Iron Curtain.

I could not afford
one child, let alone two.

So I pick pretty one.

Plus you always were shaking.

I-I have medical condition.

Just when I think you can't
sink any lower, Mother,

you always find
another way down.

I have regrets, like I said...

Wrong choice.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Remember,

I did say those words
would come back to haunt Petra.

Now I see you are
the much prettier one.

My other daughter
is an ungrateful bitch.

(scoffs)

No. You don't dare
talk about her.

She's wonderful, kind,
American success story.

Yeah, right. Let me give you
some motherly advice, dear.

Don't expect anything
from her.

Trust me, she's plotting
to get rid of you already.

Because she only
cares about herself.

But, see, you're wrong, Mother.

I care about Anezka, which is
why she'll be staying in Miami.

With me.

And you'll be staying
in prison.

Alone.

Come on, Anezka.

Yes.

Thanking you, beautiful
sister. Thanking you.

Better than the first one?

Okay.

Boobies aside, though...
WOMAN:
You're back!

Where's your mother?

She's not here.

I'm deciding without her.

Oh.

Okay. (laughs)

So is this the one?

I'm still not sure. (laughs)
Yeah, I-I think I just need

one more night
to think about it.

I don't think. I know.
Ma'am,

this woman says
you stole her wallet.

Excuse me?
You were following me

around the pool, next
thing, my wallet's gone.

And I never forget a face!

Did you steal a wallet?
No. I stole three wallets.

Anezka!
How could you do that?

Was easy. I was pickpocket
in Czech Republic.

This is my hotel.

I only wanting
to buy for you present

for thank you.
No, no presents, okay?

No presents, and

no stealing,
you understand?

Yes. Yes.

J.J.:
Nope.

Don't like it at all.

Well, thanks
for not mincing your words.
It's just not you.

For your wedding, you
have to look like you.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
She sounds pretty sure
of herself

for someone who's known Jane
for all of seven months.

I'm telling you,
the first one.
Yeah, maybe.

Oh, hey, did you get your
letter about next year?

I got mine
this morning.
Letter?

The notification you're
gonna be invited back

to the grad program?
Wait.

I thought that was just,
like, formality.
Yeah.

I just mean that I got the
actual physical letter.

Oh.
I'm sure
yours is coming.

Yeah. Yeah, totally.

Wait. So, who decides that?

Like, the dean, or...?
Not the dean.

Don't say it!
Your advisor.

Oh, no! No, no, no, no!

So, again, thanks for seeing me
on such short notice.

Anyway, I was talking
to a friend of mine

who got a letter about enrolling
in the program next year,

and I haven't gotten mine yet,

so I just wanted to check in,
make sure there was no problem.

No problem. I just haven't
made my decision yet.

Oh. Okay.

You know I wonder

if, well, because
of our differences...

well, that you can't

be objective about me.

You mean because
you verbally assaulted me?

I wouldn't call it that.
Regardless,

I can assure you
I can remain objective.

I can separate you,

Jane, the person...

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Whom she hates.

...from your work.

Which she also hates.

Well... what a relief.

If I like your next rewrite,
you'll get that letter.

Which brings us here.

(gasps)
No! What have you done?!

I'm sorry, but I can't
get kicked out of school,

and that means giving Marlene
a revision

she doesn't hate!
So you're tearing me
away from Robert?

How can I change my feelings
now that you've made me

fall so deeply
in love with him?!

I don't know. I just know
that it has to be less about

romantic love
and-and more about...

...something
I haven't figured out yet.

I don't get it.
Why did we move?
Because

I wasn't feeling the flow in my
office. I need to feel the flow.

Wait. What?! No!

You are making me

a salsa-dancer,
slash-government assassin?!

Jane, I can't!
I hate guns!

No.

No, please don't make me do it.

You know you can't mix genres
like this! (groans)

(sighs)

(sighs)

(groaning)

Jane, that's not
how it works.

You can't just turn me
into a lesbian!

See? Tons of beautiful,

scantily-clad women, and

I feel nothing.

(sighs)

Well, not nothing.

(laughs)

Hey.

Oh, you gonna say
bye to Mommy?

Oh! Have the best day ever
with Daddy, huh?

And you're sure you can
watch him all day?

Because Chepa's unavailable,
so...
Jane.

I'm sure.

Go.

Bye. Let's go.

Let's go, buddy!

What if the house
is a 1950's bomb shelter?

You're a scientist...

No, no, no, boring.
No one cares about science.

Jane, this way.
I've made your grandmother

wonderful wallpaper samples

to help with her
redecorating dilemma.

Oh.

I didn't know...

What's she doing here?
ROGELIO:
Enough is enough!

You two need to talk!

Is this some
kind of ambush?

No, we were just coming
to walk through the set.

Of course it's an ambush.

You shouldn't be fighting
at a time like this.

Because you're not only
mother and daughter,
but you're best friends.

JANE:
See, but that is just it.

I don't want a best
friend all the time.

Sometimes, I want a mom

who is responsible
and practical and...

wouldn't have let me
quit salsa lessons.

Wh...

You-you begged me
to let you quit.

But you shouldn't have let me.

That's what I'm saying.

If you'd made me stick it out,

I'd know how
to dance salsa

and I would have been better
for it in the long run.

Are you serious? You sucked!

You see?

Whatever.

I can't do this.

¶ ¶

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, right. It's a set.

ROGELIO:
How hard can it be

to think of a story
set in a house?

I hate all
of these ideas!

Well, you know what?

Maybe you should
get another writer.

No. No, no, wait, wait!
Wait, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
It's just that I have a lot

on my mind.

Okay.

How about...

It's about Jane and
Xiomara, obviously.

I've never seen them like this.

And the timing

couldn't be worse.

Hello, the timing
is the whole point.

What?

Come on.
It's so obvious!

And so,
Dina explained to Rogelio

what was really going on
between Jane and Xiomara.

And let's just say...

it rang true.

You are brilliant.

I've said that before,

but I never meant it
until this moment.

And now,

I know how to fix this.
(heavenly choir singing)

Aren't you hungry?

Maybe you should
go get some lunch.

No. No, I don't deserve food.

Anezka, stop.
The wallets are returned,

we apologized,
it's fine. Please.

Go get some lunch,
so I can concentrate.

Oh, and charge it to me.

Don't steal it.

Yes. So sorry again.

(sighs)

Well, hello, there you are!

(laughs)

(shrieks)

BARBARA:
Oh!

Oh!

You...

(urgent knocking)
Jane, hi.

Are you okay?
Is everything okay?
Yes. Yes, yes.

Is there any way
that you can take Mateo?

Now?
It's just kind of
an emergency.

The hotel deal's
falling through

because Petra's sister
attacked the owner...

Wait, what? Petra's sister?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh. Right.

So now we might
be out of a deal

and I gotta go
beg Barbara...

Well, I've got
a meeting with my advisor

and my grandma's out.

What about your mom?
I saw her by the pool...

No, no, that's not
even an option.

Whatever, I'll just
take him to school and...

J.J.'s supposed to be there,

so hopefully she'll watch him
while I'm in my meeting.

Which brings us here, now.

And while I've come around
to agreeing with your note,

it is a rather big one...

Take the romance
out of your romance novel.

...and so, in order
to address it fully...

(Mateo crying)

I just think that I need
a little more time.

(crying getting louder)

And if, um...

Oh.
I'm so sorry to interrupt.

It's just that he's been
screaming nonstop

or calling me "dada."

Oh, it's okay,
it's okay, Mateo.

(smooching sound)

I-I'm sorry. This was...

clearly not
supposed to happen.

It's just, I'm in a really
big fight with my mom.

She usually watches him.
Are you crying?

Jane, no!

This is worse than sex crying!

No. No...

Yes, you are!
No, I'm not!

I can see the tears!
Okay, fine!

Fine, I'm crying, okay?

But I don't want to be,
so just ignore it!

Okay? The point is, is that

my life is really
overwhelming right now

and I have never
missed a deadline

and I could really
use an extension

so I can put
my best foot forward.

Do you need a minute
to compose yourself?

(crying):
No!

Yes.

Thank you.

Huh.

Will Professor Donaldson
reveal a hidden soft side?

Will the sight of Jane crying

and the cute baby
melt her cold heart?

I'm okay. (sniffs)

Thank you.
Good.

So the deadline
is the deadline.

You either meet it

or you don't.

And again, we are so,
so incredibly sorry.

I mean, my sister
clearly has

personal space issues.
ANEZKA:
And I am so ashamed.

And I want to cut off my hand.

PETRA:
What?

I deserve it!
Worse! Worse!

My hands should be
chewed off by wolves!

No...
Yes, everything
is bad,

everything, I hate it,

I hate myself.
BARBARA:
No, now, just stop.

Okay?

I-I'm fine, honestly.

I-I did approach you

rather suddenly.

Really?

Oh, thank you, thank you.

Not deserving it,

but thanking you,
thanking you so much,

so very much...
Anezka, stop.

Um, why don't you go
wait in my office?

Yes, of course.

Thank you, of course.
Thank you.

Thank you.

Again, I am... so sorry.

Apology accepted.

The problem is, I like you
a little bit less now.

Not to mention, another
bid came in higher.

Match this, and
the place is yours.

Sounds... great.

RAFAEL:
We'll be in touch.

Can you meet this?

Depends if he uses
that insider trading money.

I don't know.

I just hope Anezka
didn't ruin this.

And from one
fractured family...

to another.

(gasps):
Jane!

You're here.

ROGELIO:
Mwa! Come.

XIOMARA: Wait. What's going on?
Sit.

Dad, is this another ambush?

ROGELIO:
Stop it. Of course not.
I just invited

my family and two
brilliant executives

to watch a run-through

of my favorite

Tiago episode yet.

Sit. Let's begin!

And... action!

That's weird.

(doorbell rings)

What?
That's ridiculous.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And then, something
amazing happened.

Rogelio's cockamamie,

totally wackadoo,
completely crazy plan...

well, it actually
started to work.

And I would tell you what
they are feeling right now,

but as we have learned,

it's better to show
than tell.

DIRECTOR:
Cut!

Okay, so there had better be
a huge Tiago twist coming up.

To be clear,
there was no twist.

Here's the twist.

See, it's a family of clones

posing as a regular family
with regular problems.

And Tiago

is gaining their trust,

so he can stop them from
taking over the planet.

BOTH:
Ah...

See, now that
makes more sense.

I mean, who cares
about a fight

between a mom and
a daughter, right?

(crying):
I'm so sorry, Mom.

(shushes)

(crying):
I know.

Me, too.

SALSA SOFIA:
What about me?

What was my mother like?

What is it?

I have an idea

for my novel.

Okay.

Go, go write!

I'll pick up Mateo.

Oh...

So, I'm gonna
ask Anezka to leave.

I should've never let her

stay in the first place.

She messed up your deal!

Hey, come on.

Come on, what?

This hotel,
the longevity of it,

well, I...

might not be the greatest mother
in the regular ways...

but now I've gotten in the way
of us providing for them.

You haven't.

You didn't.

My sister, okay?

Same thing.

And maybe it was Petra

feeling so badly,
or the fact that he, too,

was feeling like
a crap parent in that moment,

but Rafael just...

well, he wanted to be the hero.

I found the money to buy it.

In any case,
he used the dirty money.

And yes...

he would come to regret it.

But that's for the future.

I, I talked to the bank.

They extended the loan.

It's an investment
for our future.

Wait, so Anezka
didn't ruin things?

No.

She didn't.

And listen, maybe
don't be so hard on her.

You know,
she's had a tough life.

And I felt for her.

You know, with Barbara.

Yeah.

I did, too.

So... maybe keep her around

just a little longer?

PETRA:
Yeah, okay.

Maybe just
a little bit longer.

Well, this promises
to be awkward.

¶ ¶

(gasps)

¶ ¶

Will you marry me?

Yes! Yes!

(applause)

(both laugh)

ROBERT:
Thank you.

(laughs)

Finished.

And sent. And...

I think I deserve a nine-dollar
beer from the mini-fridge.

Make it two.

Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Mmm.

Whoa, oh.

(sighs)

You okay?

Actually wanted to talk
to you about something.

Mm-hmm?

About my place with Mateo.

Well... don't worry,
Rafael's just gonna have

to be comfortable with it.
No.

Actually wanted to talk about
what you're comfortable with.

Because we've actually
never talked about that.

Yeah, y-you're right.

That's true.

Yeah, and it's just
little things, you know?

Like... you didn't
ask me to watch him.

And you kept saying

that I was babysitting.
Oh...

well, I, but I didn't
mean it like that.
I know.

It's just...

I want to be more than that.

You are.

And I'm really glad
you want to be.

(chuckles)
And you're right.

We have to figure it out.

Step one?

Uh-huh.

You're getting your own color
in my calendar.

Yeah, that's not as sexy to me
as it is to you.

Really?
Yeah.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And speaking of sexy...

Dina, what a success that was!

The execs loved....
Whoa!

Is that what you
really look like?

No, it's just
that you are a writer,

and writers, they don't
care about these things,

but that color looks

very attractive on you.

I'm going out to dinner.

Got it.

Well, thank you.

You really saved the day.

That whole clone thing?

Doubles are like
telenovela 101.

No.

I mean with my family.

What?

Nothing, it's just...

The way you care
about your family.

That's a very attractive
color on you, too.

Well, I love them very much.

I can tell.

And like I said,

it's a very attractive quality.

Well, you also look
very attractive.

You said that already.

I meant it already.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, my.

(door opens)

Ready for dress number three?

Yes, yes, ready.

(sighs)

(crying):
That's definitely the dress.

Ah, but that's
for another day.

A wedding day.

(laughs)

Which brings us here now.

(phone chimes)
Oh.

(gasps)
It's Marlene.

Deep breaths, Jane.

Deep breaths.

What does it say?

Jane, what does it say?

I'm back in the program.

(laughs)
Yes!

Yes!

Ooh, yes!
(grunting)

Well, you know what they say.

Those who can't salsa dance,

write about salsa dancers.

I'm so proud of you.
Oh, thank you!

(chuckles)
Ah... yes!

(camera shutter clicking)

Yeah, uh-oh!

Well, what can I say?

We're not all about
the marriage plot, right?