Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:02,669
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
All right, here we go, yo!
2
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:04,140
As you know,Michael proposed to Jane
3
00:00:04,141 --> 00:00:06,138
and a wedding date was set.
4
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,210
Did you make the reservations
for the chair rentals?
5
00:00:08,211 --> 00:00:09,509
I'm working on it.
6
00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:11,680
Exciting, right?Not as exciting:
7
00:00:11,681 --> 00:00:13,609
Xiomara and Rogelio broke up.
8
00:00:13,614 --> 00:00:16,284
Oh, and the Villanuevas' houseflooded!
9
00:00:16,285 --> 00:00:18,083
Bright side: thanks to Rafael,
10
00:00:18,085 --> 00:00:20,115
the family got to stayat the Marbella.
11
00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:21,221
And speaking of Rafael,his half brother
12
00:00:21,222 --> 00:00:23,289
Derek is back in town.
13
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:25,190
Don't go off with him alone.
14
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,091
And Raf was workingwith Detective Michael
15
00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:28,664
to see if Derek was connectedto their mother...
16
00:00:28,665 --> 00:00:30,800
Where were you?
Right here. On this boat.
17
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:33,528
...the notorious crime lordknown as "Mutter."
18
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,234
And, oh, yeah, he also just hadtwin girls with Petra,
19
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:38,496
and truthfullyPetra's not doing so great.
20
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,766
NURSE:
And does postpartum depression
run in your family?
21
00:00:40,775 --> 00:00:43,035
Do you ever have thoughtsof running away?
22
00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:45,114
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I know! Mama drama, right?
23
00:00:45,115 --> 00:00:47,547
So let's dive in.
24
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,248
As you all know,Jane Gloriana Villanueva
25
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,419
didn't lose control very often.
26
00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,550
(loud dance music playing)
27
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,388
But when she did...
28
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,457
Oh, when she did...
29
00:00:57,458 --> 00:01:00,658
(gunshot, guests screaming)
30
00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,596
...it was epic.
31
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,427
Ah, yes.
32
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:08,268
You'll recallJane's 21st birthday.
33
00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:10,669
The night sheand Michael first met.
34
00:01:10,671 --> 00:01:12,839
But what you don't know
35
00:01:12,840 --> 00:01:15,140
is what happenedafter that kiss.
36
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,682
Don't get into
any more trouble.
37
00:01:16,683 --> 00:01:18,207
I won't.
38
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:23,245
But call me, okay?
39
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,520
I will.
40
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:34,358
(knocking at door)
41
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:36,431
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
He couldn'tbring himself to leave!
42
00:01:36,432 --> 00:01:38,230
It's so romantic!
43
00:01:38,232 --> 00:01:40,600
So, one of your friends
44
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,131
is passed out on your porch.
45
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,336
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh.
46
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,397
Not quite as romantic.
47
00:01:47,174 --> 00:01:49,209
That's not my friend.
48
00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,840
It's my mom.
49
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:52,779
Here, let me help you.
50
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,447
It's okay, I got it.
51
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:55,678
Ma! Come on, wake up.
52
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:57,153
Huh?
53
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:01,849
Oh, hey, Officer!
(giggles)
54
00:02:01,856 --> 00:02:04,186
You can put those
cuffs on me any...
55
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:05,621
(Xiomara vomiting)
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah.
56
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:07,826
That party wasout of control...
57
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,728
which is why Janeis taking control
58
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,431
of her bachelorette party.
59
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,867
And after mani-pedis,
60
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,338
we'll have dinner
from 7:00 to 10:00.
61
00:02:16,339 --> 00:02:17,697
Strictly prohibited:
62
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,765
strip clubs, cheesy bars,
penis stuff.
63
00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,608
Wow, this looks great.
64
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:22,876
Thank you, Lina.
65
00:02:22,877 --> 00:02:24,437
Don't thank me.
You wrote it.
66
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:26,905
True. Oh, which
reminds me...
67
00:02:26,914 --> 00:02:30,884
I made a seating
chart for dinner.
68
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,845
I just have so many
different groups,
69
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,753
I want to make sure
everyone melds.
Don "Key-sotty"?
70
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:35,915
JANE:
Don Quixote.
71
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,490
Oh.
72
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,891
It's reading for
this week's class.
73
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:40,493
It's a really great book.
74
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,232
It's about this guy
who sees the world
75
00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:44,499
as if it's one of his
great romances and...
76
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,466
I'm out.
Okay.
77
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:47,667
Is this the seating chart?
78
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,498
Yep. All right,
last chance, Abuela.
79
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,873
Do you want to come?
80
00:02:50,897 --> 00:02:57,897
ReEncoded By Dr.XJ | PSA
www.PSArips.com
81
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,731
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Hard to argue with that.
82
00:03:00,732 --> 00:03:01,950
Or that.
Stop. Jane wants me there.
83
00:03:01,951 --> 00:03:04,649
Okay, I should drop off
Mateo with Rafael
84
00:03:04,652 --> 00:03:06,386
before my shift starts.
85
00:03:06,387 --> 00:03:07,587
And thank you both.
86
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,318
You know, for
not pushing back
87
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:10,661
and just letting me have
88
00:03:10,662 --> 00:03:12,188
the bachelorette that I want.
89
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:13,560
Of course.
90
00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:14,761
It's your party.
91
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:16,296
Bye!
92
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:17,957
Bye!
Bye!
93
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:19,425
(gasps)
94
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,432
Do you think she
suspects anything?
95
00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,636
Definitely not.
96
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,567
(squeals)
Yes!
97
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:28,874
Thank you so much, ladies.
98
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:30,376
Surprise!
99
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:31,707
Uh...
100
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:33,379
(chuckles)
101
00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:34,580
Oh, my God, Jane!
102
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,322
We're so happy
to see you!
103
00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:38,651
We missed you
so much!
104
00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,320
Oh, really?
105
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,551
That's so sweet.
Yeah!
106
00:03:42,556 --> 00:03:45,456
So maybe you can
convince Rogelio
107
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,259
to invest in our fashion blog.
108
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,961
He thinks you're some kind
of genius or something.
109
00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:50,396
It's all about...
110
00:03:50,397 --> 00:03:51,797
BOTH:
Seeing Double!
111
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:54,333
Wow.
112
00:03:54,335 --> 00:03:55,825
Neat.
113
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,836
See? Jane agrees that
it's an awesome idea.
114
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,569
It makes perfect sense for
you to give whatever money
115
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,544
you were going to give to us
for college to fund it.
116
00:04:02,545 --> 00:04:03,810
ROGELIO:
Jane...
117
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:06,311
Please. Help.
118
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,713
Explain to them,
in the unlikely event
119
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,846
Seeing Double doesn't catch on,
120
00:04:10,851 --> 00:04:12,851
it's always good
to have a backup plan.
121
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,453
Oh, y-yeah.
122
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,515
Well, I-I'm a big
proponent of college.
123
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:17,993
Oh, there's a prospective
student program
124
00:04:17,994 --> 00:04:19,862
at my school today,
if you want to come by.
125
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,528
Check out the sitch.
126
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,999
That is
a wonderful idea!
127
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,258
They will be there.
128
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:26,796
If they want me
129
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,000
to even consider
130
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,002
investing
in their blog.
131
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,336
BOTH:
Fine.
132
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:31,337
Great. Well, I have to run.
133
00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,955
Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
134
00:04:32,956 --> 00:04:34,566
Girls, you haven't
congratulated Jane
135
00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:37,475
on her engagement to
the greatest man in the world.
136
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,878
Oh, my God,
you're marrying Rafael?!
137
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,880
That's amazing!
Oh, you're
so lucky!
No.
138
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,422
He's so sexy.
He's so gorgeous
and rich.
139
00:04:43,423 --> 00:04:44,817
No, that's...
And those abs...
140
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,348
No, I said no!
141
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:47,553
I am not marrying Rafael.
142
00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:49,689
I am marrying Michael.
143
00:04:49,690 --> 00:04:51,457
Oh.
Huh?
144
00:04:51,458 --> 00:04:52,688
Oh. Okay.
145
00:04:52,693 --> 00:04:53,860
He seems...
146
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:55,828
loyal.
147
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,859
Yes.
Yeah.
148
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:00,025
Sorry we can't make it
to your wedding.
149
00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,568
Yeah, we're just
super busy that day.
150
00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,899
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I'll point out,they don't know when it is.
151
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:07,505
Congrats, though.
Thanks.
152
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:08,838
It's always a treat,
seeing you girls.
153
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,042
I'm off, Dad.
154
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:11,644
No, please.
Just make sure
155
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,905
Michael got the invite
reminder for tonight.
156
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,782
I never heard from him.
157
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:16,952
Maybe they didn't go through.
158
00:05:16,953 --> 00:05:18,520
I'll send it to you, too.
159
00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:20,549
(giggles nervously, sighs)
160
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,924
MICHAEL:
Oh, no, he sent it to you, too.
161
00:05:21,925 --> 00:05:23,656
JANE:
I'm getting it.
162
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,627
Hang on.
Oh, you really
don't have to see it.
163
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:30,796
(maniacal laugh)
164
00:05:30,798 --> 00:05:32,058
I'm sorry, but I really do.
165
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:34,526
MICHAEL:
Throw your hands up in the air
166
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,925
and wave 'em like
you just don't care
167
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:38,466
because it's my bachelor party!
Woot! Woot!
168
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,940
Is that your voice?
169
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:43,409
He made me record it.
170
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,078
Michael, I'm so sorry.
171
00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:46,079
Yeah.
172
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,580
(laughs)
I can't believe
173
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:49,549
my dad's going
to your bachelor party.
174
00:05:49,550 --> 00:05:50,550
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, me neither.
175
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,720
Here's what happened.
176
00:05:51,721 --> 00:05:53,689
I remember itlike it was a week ago.
177
00:05:53,690 --> 00:05:56,487
So, are there gonna
be strippers?
178
00:05:56,490 --> 00:05:58,120
Do you not want there
to be strippers?
179
00:05:58,125 --> 00:05:59,825
No, no, it's okay.
180
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,487
I mean,
it's your bachelor party.
181
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,885
Well, if you don't want
there to be strippers...
182
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,426
Okay, fine, fine,
you convinced me,
183
00:06:04,431 --> 00:06:06,031
no strippers at
your bachelor party.
184
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,533
ROGELIO:
You're having
a bachelor party?
185
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,071
And I'm not invited?
186
00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,640
No. Did you...
Oh, he must not have...
187
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:15,911
Did you...
you didn't get the e-mail.
188
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:18,537
Man, my friends are so flaky.
189
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,745
(laughs)
190
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,577
Oh... thank God!
191
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,853
'Cause for a minute,
I was like, "My best brogelio
192
00:06:24,854 --> 00:06:26,018
"doesn't want me
193
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,919
at his bachelor party?"
194
00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,523
What's up, brother?
Yeah.
195
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,155
JANE:
So...
196
00:06:33,160 --> 00:06:35,530
what if I called my dad
and told him not to go?
197
00:06:35,531 --> 00:06:37,897
And you call my mom
and tell her not to come?
198
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,828
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yeah, that's not happening.
199
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,833
What? A girl can dream.
200
00:06:41,835 --> 00:06:43,835
It's too late. He's already
taking over the planning.
201
00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:45,637
Which could be good.
202
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:47,169
I mean, let's face it,
if it weren't for Rogelio,
203
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:48,743
it would probably be
me and my friends
204
00:06:48,744 --> 00:06:50,082
eating tacos over a trash can.
205
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:52,977
Why are you so sweet?
206
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,610
To me, to my dad...
207
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,746
Save it for the vows.
208
00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,121
Printer deadline's
Friday, right?
209
00:06:59,122 --> 00:07:00,719
Mm-hmm.
210
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,651
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I should explain.
211
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,616
In a Catholic mass,you can't recite your own vows,
212
00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:07,026
so theirs were going to beprinted in the programs.
213
00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,457
So, how's yours going?
214
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:10,029
Oh, it's great. Great, yeah.
215
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:10,930
You?
216
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,161
Yeah, just ironing out
217
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,896
the last details.
218
00:07:13,901 --> 00:07:15,201
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Sure, if you call
219
00:07:15,202 --> 00:07:17,470
19 pages of general ideas
220
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,001
"ironing out the last details."
221
00:07:19,006 --> 00:07:21,166
Wait, scratch that...23 pages, actually.
222
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:22,535
Jane?
223
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,478
Professor Blake, hello.
Hey.
224
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,909
So, last minute, but, uh,
225
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,652
one of the T.A.s
who was supposed to speak
226
00:07:28,653 --> 00:07:30,516
to prospective students
just canceled.
227
00:07:30,517 --> 00:07:31,947
I know you just
started office hours,
228
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,052
but is there any way
you could fill in for her?
229
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:35,954
Oh, my God.
230
00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:38,656
Uh, I would love to,
thank you so much!
231
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,659
Just remember...
keep it professional.
232
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:43,061
Don't worry.
Professional, got it.
233
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,033
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Which brings us here, now.
234
00:07:45,034 --> 00:07:47,502
And as we dive into
our section on Don Quixote,
235
00:07:47,503 --> 00:07:49,501
it's great seeing them
connect to the material
236
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,671
and relate Quixote's quest
237
00:07:51,672 --> 00:07:53,210
to their own youthful idealism.
238
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:54,637
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Yup.
239
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:55,908
Youthful idealism at its best.
240
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:57,179
JANE:
So, if you have any questions,
241
00:07:57,180 --> 00:08:00,046
I am more than happy
to answer them.
242
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,247
Oh.
(knocking at door)
243
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,778
One second.
244
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,886
Hello, I'm looking
for Jane Villanueva.
245
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,847
Yeah, I-I'm Jane Villanueva.
246
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,116
Milady.
Is this a skit
247
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,624
for prospective
students?
248
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,156
Allowest me to
remove my armor.
249
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,561
I'm sorry, who...? Oh!
250
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:16,762
I am Don Quixote!
251
00:08:16,763 --> 00:08:18,132
Ready to see
what's in
252
00:08:18,133 --> 00:08:20,231
my Sancho Panza?
(students shriek)
253
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,001
No! Oh, wait, wait.
254
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,840
You know, wait,
this is a mistake.
255
00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:25,067
This is
a mistake!
256
00:08:25,072 --> 00:08:26,939
Ah! Oh! No...
257
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,570
Ah... ah!
258
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:31,536
I'm so sorry!
259
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,186
Professor Blake,
I assure you
260
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,888
I had no idea
this was going to happen.
261
00:08:42,890 --> 00:08:44,120
I'm having a bachelorette
party later tonight,
262
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,524
and it seems my friends
263
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:46,826
got a bit overzealous.
264
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:49,027
I am not even
a stripper person,
265
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,159
not that that matters. Believe
me, I'm as angry as you are.
266
00:08:51,164 --> 00:08:53,671
Look, I understand that
the incident wasn't your fault,
267
00:08:53,672 --> 00:08:55,167
but it was
a public event,
268
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,168
pictures were taken,
people were horrified.
269
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,570
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
To be fair,
270
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,041
parents were horrified.
271
00:09:00,042 --> 00:09:01,807
Students were LOLingall over Instagram,
272
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:03,138
or whatever the kids saythese days.
273
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:04,612
And I will do whatever it takes
274
00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:05,881
to right the situation.
275
00:09:05,882 --> 00:09:07,579
I know.
276
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:09,211
But I'm gonna have
to talk to the dean.
277
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,646
I really don't know if you
can continue as a T.A.
278
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,223
I'll check in end of day.
279
00:09:19,726 --> 00:09:21,256
I just need the day to rest.
280
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,831
So if you could take
the babies tonight...
281
00:09:23,832 --> 00:09:24,897
What's wrong?
282
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,998
Nothing, I just, um...
283
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,168
started my medication.
284
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:31,169
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
For postpartum depression,you'll recall.
285
00:09:31,171 --> 00:09:33,571
And it's giving me
a pretty bad migraine.
286
00:09:33,574 --> 00:09:34,774
So can you keep the babies?
287
00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,105
Yeah, of course.
288
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,179
Oh, and make sure
I'm not disturbed.
289
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,023
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Uh-oh.
290
00:09:44,024 --> 00:09:45,777
This isn't looking good.
291
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,286
(sighs)
292
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:49,747
Sorry.
293
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:50,916
Where were we?
294
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,158
Nowhere.
295
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:53,859
We got nothing so far.
296
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,628
What about the bug
you put in Derek's office?
297
00:09:55,629 --> 00:09:57,129
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
You'll recall these two
298
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,060
have been working togetherto discover--
299
00:09:59,066 --> 00:10:01,266
how shall I put this?It's rather nuanced...
300
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,738
Nothing.
...whether Rafael'sbrother Derek
301
00:10:03,739 --> 00:10:05,797
is a good guy
302
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,666
or a bad guy.
(growls)
303
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:10,075
His boat.
304
00:10:10,077 --> 00:10:11,307
There's got to be
something on his boat.
305
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:13,141
Good, so search his boat.
306
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,806
I-I get a warrant,
he knows you told me about it.
307
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:15,945
So don't get a warrant.
308
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,217
Oh, come on, Michael.
309
00:10:19,219 --> 00:10:22,219
We both know you're not
above bending the rules.
310
00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:25,157
XIOMARA:
So did you get a little visit
311
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,088
from Don Quick-Naughty?
312
00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:30,296
You were in on that?
What were you thinking?
313
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,957
Hey, strippers were not
technically on your "no" list.
314
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,296
Just strip clubs.
There's a big difference.
315
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,202
Yeah, well that big difference
just gave me a lap dance
316
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:39,073
in front of 50 students
and parents.
What?!
317
00:10:39,074 --> 00:10:40,672
I was asked to do
a last-minute talk
318
00:10:40,674 --> 00:10:41,911
to prospective students and...
319
00:10:41,912 --> 00:10:44,208
He was supposed to go
to your office.
320
00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,911
I wasn't there. He found me.
321
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,380
I'm sorry.
322
00:10:47,381 --> 00:10:49,381
How could I have known
he would turn out to be,
323
00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:52,053
like, the world's most
industrious stripper?
324
00:10:52,054 --> 00:10:54,387
This is why I implemented
325
00:10:54,388 --> 00:10:56,388
the "no surprise" rule
in the first place.
326
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,390
I was clear.
327
00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:58,921
No surprises.
328
00:11:00,093 --> 00:11:02,833
¶ ¶
329
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,861
Maybe just one more?
330
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,026
Surprise!
331
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:08,334
Welcome to your
bachelorette party.
332
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,265
(squealing with excitement,
giggling)
333
00:11:14,908 --> 00:11:16,268
What's going on?
334
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:19,036
This is not a part
of my carefully detailed
335
00:11:19,046 --> 00:11:20,876
bachelorette party plan.
336
00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:23,881
I know, but your mom and I
decided that we owed it to you
337
00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:25,884
not to throw you the
world's lamest party.
338
00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:27,946
We owed it
to everyone.
339
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:33,294
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Okay, here we have...
340
00:11:33,295 --> 00:11:35,063
Well, names aren't important.
341
00:11:35,064 --> 00:11:36,900
We've taken care
of everything.
342
00:11:36,901 --> 00:11:39,897
But Mateo is...
With Abuela all night
in a guest room.
343
00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:41,900
And I have to work tomorrow.
Luca's covering
your shift
344
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,772
so you can nurse what'd
better be a raging hangover.
345
00:11:43,773 --> 00:11:45,940
I have to finish my vows.
I called the printers
346
00:11:45,941 --> 00:11:47,909
and got them to agree
to a one-day extension.
347
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,368
And we brought
your party clothes!
348
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,906
XIOMARA: And we're really sorry
about the stripper,
349
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,711
but there's nothing
you can do about it tonight.
350
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,053
Except drink and take your
mind off it. Right, girls?!
351
00:11:55,054 --> 00:11:57,048
(whooping)
352
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:59,480
Come on, hon.
353
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:02,716
Wouldn't it feel good to lose
control just this once?
354
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,424
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Come on,Jane, are you going to let down
355
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,126
this group of vaguelyfamiliar ladies
356
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:10,198
who are apparentlyyour very good friends?
357
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:13,431
All right, bring on the shots!
358
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,433
(cheering)
359
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:17,295
To your last night
of freedom.
360
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:19,374
(whooping)
361
00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:28,006
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Whoo-hoo!
362
00:12:28,014 --> 00:12:30,014
(whoops)
363
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:32,846
See, isn't this better than
some boring dinner party?
364
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:42,393
Wow.
365
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,925
Uh, I thought you said
we were just stopping by.
366
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:48,932
For five scrumptious courses
prepared by my personal chef.
367
00:12:48,935 --> 00:12:50,935
Now sit, sit, everyone, sit.
368
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:52,537
Open your swag bags.
369
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:57,479
They contain all the essentials
for an epic bachelor party.
370
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:02,410
(quietly):
What the hell's happening?
371
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:04,275
Oh.
372
00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:06,218
Rogelio, you really didn't
have to do this.
373
00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,219
Of course I did.
374
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,220
You only get married once.
375
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,251
Right, guys?
376
00:13:09,256 --> 00:13:11,856
Huh?
377
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:13,218
I need a drink.
378
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,526
Perfect.
379
00:13:14,528 --> 00:13:16,388
I've done
the wine pairings myself.
380
00:13:16,396 --> 00:13:20,326
We'll start with an ice-cold
pink champagne toast.
381
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:23,836
Oh, I almost forgot.
382
00:13:23,837 --> 00:13:25,437
The pièce de résistance.
383
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:26,968
Open it.
384
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,012
Oh.
385
00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:35,381
Wow.
386
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,382
(chuckles)
387
00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,416
(all chuckling)
388
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:38,877
Turn it around.
389
00:13:42,889 --> 00:13:44,156
(whoops)
390
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,587
(upbeat music playing)
391
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,188
(whooping)
392
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:50,856
Yes!
393
00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:52,531
Whoo-hoo!
394
00:13:52,532 --> 00:13:53,532
Angela's amazing.
395
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,533
Did you know she's a genius?
396
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,168
She really is a genius.
397
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:59,169
Actually, my IQ is 139,
so it's just below.
398
00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,172
You see?!
399
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,173
Only a genius would know that.
400
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:02,244
XIOMARA:
Totally.
401
00:14:02,245 --> 00:14:04,076
(laughing)
402
00:14:04,077 --> 00:14:05,407
(whoops)
403
00:14:05,412 --> 00:14:07,379
¶ ¶
404
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,948
Whoo-hoo!
405
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,449
All right, I'm signing up
for karaoke.
406
00:14:10,450 --> 00:14:12,150
Sweet Lady Jane?
No!
407
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:13,182
Yes!
No, no, no!
408
00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,516
Who's Sweet Lady Jane?
409
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,051
Xo, it's her Sasha Fierce.
410
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:17,386
When she gets drunk enough
to freestyle.
411
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:18,860
You've never seen her like that?
412
00:14:18,861 --> 00:14:20,189
No, I haven't.
413
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,063
But it is definitely
happening tonight.
414
00:14:22,064 --> 00:14:24,162
We need more drinks.
Agreed!
Can you go get them?
415
00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,474
I kind of have a history
with Chad the hot bartender.
416
00:14:30,437 --> 00:14:32,097
I don't want it to seem
like I'm chasing him.
417
00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:33,905
I mean, I am chasing him,
but I don't want him to know.
418
00:14:33,907 --> 00:14:34,907
On it!
419
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,538
(whoops)
420
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,313
So where'd you go to college?
421
00:14:38,314 --> 00:14:39,911
Oh, I didn't.
422
00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,247
Oh, weird. Why?
423
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:44,316
It just wasn't, like, my path.
424
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:45,947
So what do you do?
425
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,452
I'm a waitress with Jane.
426
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,624
But she goes to school.
427
00:14:48,625 --> 00:14:50,622
Well, I-I'm a stylist, too.
428
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:52,593
I mean, I will be
once that takes off.
429
00:14:52,594 --> 00:14:54,161
So you, like, pick out clothes?
430
00:14:54,162 --> 00:14:56,060
XIOMARA:
A shot for Sweet Lady Jane!
431
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,200
Uh, no, she is not
coming out tonight.
432
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,228
She's definitely coming
out tonight. Drink.
433
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,473
ALL (chanting):
Drink! Drink!
434
00:15:01,474 --> 00:15:04,098
Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink! Drink!
435
00:15:06,106 --> 00:15:07,466
Whoo-hoo!
436
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:08,974
(camera shutter clicking)
437
00:15:08,975 --> 00:15:10,165
Oh, no, no, no. No cameras.
438
00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,636
No posting any pictures
439
00:15:11,645 --> 00:15:13,905
on the Twitter, the "Facegram"
or "Instabook."
440
00:15:13,914 --> 00:15:15,948
Hon, you got to relax.
441
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:17,949
No, Mom, I can't when they're
documenting me on their phones.
442
00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:20,051
I'm already
on thin ice at school.
443
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:21,953
Okay, everybody,
give me your phones!
444
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,245
What?!
445
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:25,116
Phone-free
zone, people!
446
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,215
(whoops)
447
00:15:26,226 --> 00:15:29,126
Yeah!
(whoops)
448
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,129
Uh...
449
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,397
Hey, Mom, Mom, Mom.
450
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:32,928
Why don't you just
pace yourself?
451
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:34,003
Maybe get you a little
food or something.
452
00:15:34,004 --> 00:15:37,069
Hey, no Old Lady Jane tonight.
453
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:40,070
I want to meet Sweet Lady Jane!
454
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,473
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Huh, she doesn't look thrilled.
455
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,276
And neither does she.
456
00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:51,650
The best thing you
could do for those girls
457
00:15:51,651 --> 00:15:54,491
is to give them away.
458
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,024
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, dear.
459
00:15:59,025 --> 00:16:01,285
Very suspicious.
460
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,294
Also suspicious...
461
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:11,598
Looks like Michael decidedto break the law after all.
462
00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:14,174
And here I'd thoughthe'd changed.
463
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,113
Well, he did changehis shirt at least.
464
00:16:20,714 --> 00:16:21,714
(gasps)
465
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,205
Nicholas.
466
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:25,316
Grappa is a digestif.
467
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:28,518
It's to be sipped, not chugged
like a shot of cheap tequila.
468
00:16:31,057 --> 00:16:34,357
I wish it were cheap tequila.
(laughing): Yeah, boy.
469
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,129
Remember when we road-tripped
to the Redneck Riviera
470
00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:37,529
and Michael got wasted
on mezcal?
No. Stop.
471
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,460
Oh, yeah, the night
he ate the worm.
Shh.
472
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,626
Eating the worm is the least
of what happened that night.
473
00:16:41,634 --> 00:16:43,634
Guys, guys, let's
not bore Rogelio,
474
00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:46,466
my future father-in-law, with
these boring stories, okay?
475
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,008
No, Vincent, finish
your story, please.
476
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,539
What happened in
this Redneck Riviera?
477
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,543
I must know.
478
00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,644
Uh, well...
479
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:56,076
we had a nice talk
about our feelings
480
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,420
and how much we respect women,
481
00:16:57,421 --> 00:16:59,147
and then we all went
to bed by 10:00.
482
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,222
(chuckles)
The end.
483
00:17:00,223 --> 00:17:02,650
That's a weird story, Vincent.
484
00:17:03,590 --> 00:17:05,120
Rogelio.
485
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:07,625
This dinner, fantastic.
486
00:17:07,627 --> 00:17:11,527
The oysters, the pheasant,
the-the macaroons.
487
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,199
But, uh, maybe
it's time to head out?
488
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,700
Let's do it.
489
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,802
I've gotten us into
the hottest spot in town.
490
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,139
All right.
491
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:23,709
This Russian bathing ritual
dates back centuries.
492
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:27,279
The euca leaves really promote
exfoliation and circulation.
493
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,350
You will be glowing
for the wedding, Michael.
494
00:17:29,351 --> 00:17:31,649
You may not even need
a spray tan.
495
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:35,421
¶ Macho, macho man ¶
496
00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:38,757
¶ I've got to be
a macho man... ¶
497
00:17:38,758 --> 00:17:40,288
Have you
seen my mom?
498
00:17:40,293 --> 00:17:42,093
XIOMARA: Jane!
Ma!
499
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:44,095
There's my daughter.
They didn't believe I have
500
00:17:44,097 --> 00:17:45,397
a daughter old enough
to get married.
501
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,558
Tell them you're my daughter.
502
00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:47,566
(chuckles)
I'm her daughter.
503
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,697
Mom, I need my phone.
504
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:49,801
No, no phones.
505
00:17:49,803 --> 00:17:50,803
No, no, Mom, I'm serious.
506
00:17:50,804 --> 00:17:52,244
You see how serious she is?
507
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,398
Mom!
No.
508
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:55,706
No, no. Phone-free zone!
509
00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:58,677
No, uh, wait, Ma,
where are you going?
To protect you from yourself!
510
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,378
No, Mom, that's not funny!
I'm doing you a favor!
511
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,380
You'll thank me later!
(stammering)
512
00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:04,152
Give it to me!
What do you want to use it for?
513
00:18:04,153 --> 00:18:05,580
You want to do some work?
514
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,445
No, I need to see
if Professor Blake called me
515
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:08,692
and to see
if I still have my job
516
00:18:08,693 --> 00:18:09,688
because of the stripper
you sent.
517
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,256
Fine.
518
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,257
But I'm holding it.
519
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,259
So you don't go
answering e-mails.
520
00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:16,291
Fine.
521
00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,296
JANE:
You see?
522
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:21,598
Professor Blake left
a voice mail.
523
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:24,401
Okay, he's just
calling to say...
524
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,804
Oh, my God, I can keep my job!
525
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,436
Yes!
(laughs)
526
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,280
Go, Professor Tight-Ass!
That guy is such a dick.
527
00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:34,408
I thought I was gonna have
to, like, send a stripper
528
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,582
to his house to pull
the pole out of his ass.
529
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:38,851
FEMALE VOICE:
Would you like to send your
message with normal delivery?
530
00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:40,552
Wait, what message?
Oh, my God, no, no, no.
531
00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:42,223
What happened?
Must've hit "call back."
Stop.
532
00:18:42,224 --> 00:18:44,662
Message sent.
No...
533
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,502
Okay, we need to come up
with a plan.
534
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:58,203
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Unfortunately,
535
00:18:58,204 --> 00:18:59,604
coming up with a planis quite difficult
536
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:00,606
when you are...
537
00:19:00,607 --> 00:19:02,237
Well, let's check.
538
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,406
HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Whoo-hoo!
539
00:19:05,411 --> 00:19:08,250
Don't worry, nobody listens
to their voice mail anymore.
540
00:19:08,251 --> 00:19:09,748
What are you talking about?
541
00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,749
Everybody listens
to their voice mails, Ma.
542
00:19:11,751 --> 00:19:13,481
LINA: I've got an idea.
Go.
543
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:14,546
Let's ask Siri.
544
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,288
Any other suggestions?
545
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,689
Angela, go.
546
00:19:17,690 --> 00:19:19,690
I think if we all
think really hard,
547
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:21,762
we could delete it
with our minds.
548
00:19:24,831 --> 00:19:26,531
Here's what we're gonna do.
549
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,901
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
This ought to be good.
550
00:19:27,902 --> 00:19:29,471
He's at a party
for prospective students.
551
00:19:29,472 --> 00:19:30,799
I am gonna go to that party
552
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:32,337
and I am going
to steal his phone
553
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:33,368
and I'm going to erase
that message.
554
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,773
Wait, you can't
go in there.
555
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,676
You just had
a stripper at school.
556
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:39,337
Right.
557
00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,505
Can you go?
558
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,680
Way too drunk.
559
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,849
Angela, can you go?
560
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,820
Sure. Where?
561
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:48,917
I know who could go!
562
00:19:48,922 --> 00:19:49,792
(gasps)
563
00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:51,259
I have to pee!
564
00:19:52,892 --> 00:19:54,426
Get in. Hurry.
565
00:19:54,427 --> 00:19:55,857
Not so fast.
566
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,229
Since we're doing you a favor,
567
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,300
we want something in return.
568
00:19:58,301 --> 00:19:59,858
What?! Seriously?
569
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,566
We want to come
to your wedding now.
570
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,368
Great, you're in, twins.
Let's do this.
571
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:04,599
BOTH:
And be bridesmaids.
572
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:05,604
What? Why?
573
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:06,955
You don't even like me.
574
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,306
Yeah, but we could sell the
pictures to some tabloid
575
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:09,838
because of Rogelio
and fund our blog.
576
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:11,342
Plus, we'll be wearing
our own designs.
577
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:14,613
This is our chance to be
like the Olsen twins.
578
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,314
But less depressing.
579
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:18,516
And without Mary-Kate's
weird old French guy.
580
00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,618
Fine, let's go!
581
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,687
Yes!
Awesome!
582
00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,418
(gasps)
583
00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:24,623
Break out the booze!
584
00:20:24,624 --> 00:20:25,694
We're doing shots!
585
00:20:25,695 --> 00:20:26,792
No, no shots.
586
00:20:26,793 --> 00:20:28,260
MEN:
Shot! Shot! Shot!
587
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:29,691
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Truth be told,
588
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,526
if Derek knew his boatwas being searched,
589
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,661
he probably wouldn'tfeel so buoyed.
590
00:20:33,666 --> 00:20:35,396
See what I did there?
591
00:20:35,401 --> 00:20:37,401
But alas, he doesn't.
592
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,473
Dude, you don't have to keep
buying us drinks all night.
593
00:20:39,474 --> 00:20:40,972
Hey, brotherly bonding.
594
00:20:40,974 --> 00:20:42,612
And plus, I have
two sleeping babies
595
00:20:42,613 --> 00:20:44,479
and two night nurses
upstairs that yell at me
596
00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:46,677
every time I make noise.
597
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:47,909
(chuckles)
598
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,982
So, did you consider asking?
599
00:20:49,983 --> 00:20:52,918
Stop, no.
Asking what?
600
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,449
He wants to buy into
this deal I'm looking at.
601
00:20:54,454 --> 00:20:56,492
I told him he should
hit up his rich brother.
602
00:20:56,493 --> 00:20:57,819
Brandon, enough.
All right.
603
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,791
I just am not in a position
604
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:01,992
to make any investments
right now.
605
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:03,325
No, of course not.
606
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,295
Let's just call it.
Thanks for the drinks.
607
00:21:07,300 --> 00:21:08,730
We should, uh,
head back to the boat.
608
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,665
No, now, hey,
just, uh, just stay.
609
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,000
Uh, it's weird.
Now, now it seems
610
00:21:12,005 --> 00:21:13,535
like I'm after
your money or something.
611
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:15,469
No, it doesn't.
It's fine, hey.
612
00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,335
Come on, just sit down?
613
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,877
Sit down!
614
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:20,578
Come on, another round.
615
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,550
Let me at least pay this time.
Hey, put your money away.
616
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:27,445
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
I don't know about you,
617
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,023
but I'm not on boardwith this make-under.
618
00:21:29,024 --> 00:21:30,622
How'd you become
a stylist?
619
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,892
You have to have good taste
620
00:21:31,893 --> 00:21:33,891
so celebrities
want your opinion.
621
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:35,493
Do any celebrities want yours?
622
00:21:35,495 --> 00:21:36,585
(phone chimes)
623
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:39,026
LINA: Well, they
will eventually.
624
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,433
(chuckles, sighs)
625
00:22:19,972 --> 00:22:22,612
Enough with the questions!
626
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:35,849
Up to you,
but I'd lose the towel.
627
00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,815
It's not good for your pores.
628
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,694
Hey, you know, I'm feeling,
I'm feeling okay.
629
00:22:39,695 --> 00:22:41,727
Your choice.
After this,
630
00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,458
a quick plunge
in the cold pool and massages.
631
00:22:43,463 --> 00:22:45,763
Space is limited,
so be sure to tell me
632
00:22:45,765 --> 00:22:47,795
who you want as your couples
massage partner,
633
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,130
while I grab us
some cucumber water.
634
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,004
Okay, dude.
635
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:55,466
Dude, what the hell?
636
00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:57,005
This is weird, dude.
637
00:22:57,009 --> 00:22:58,809
No, no, no, wait, we left weird
back at his apartment.
638
00:22:58,811 --> 00:23:01,747
This is way past weird.
639
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:02,908
I know, but what
am I supposed to do?
640
00:23:02,915 --> 00:23:05,045
Get rid of your
crazy father-in-law.
641
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:06,581
Look, obviously
I don't want Rogelio here.
642
00:23:06,586 --> 00:23:07,916
I don't want
to hurt his feelings.
643
00:23:12,525 --> 00:23:14,385
Rogelio, I'm sorry.
644
00:23:14,394 --> 00:23:17,129
No-no apology necessary.
645
00:23:17,130 --> 00:23:21,000
I will take my leave
so you can start having fun.
646
00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:30,509
Hey, Rogelio, I am so sorry.
I feel terrible.
647
00:23:30,510 --> 00:23:31,840
If you didn't want me
at your party,
648
00:23:31,844 --> 00:23:33,644
then why did you invite me?
649
00:23:36,716 --> 00:23:38,576
I never meant to.
650
00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,587
When you found about it
and-and wanted to come,
651
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,018
I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
652
00:23:44,023 --> 00:23:45,923
And then you ran with it,
making this whole night.
653
00:23:45,925 --> 00:23:47,185
Your friends weren't
making any plans.
654
00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:48,663
I wanted it to be special.
655
00:23:48,664 --> 00:23:49,861
I know.
656
00:23:49,862 --> 00:23:51,432
I thought you like
being pampered.
657
00:23:51,433 --> 00:23:52,831
Men these days.
658
00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:55,072
They don't take enough time
for themselves.
659
00:23:55,073 --> 00:23:57,497
It's not about the spa.
660
00:23:58,471 --> 00:23:59,771
Having you here, it changes
661
00:23:59,772 --> 00:24:01,542
the dynamic with my friends.
662
00:24:01,543 --> 00:24:02,941
But we're friends!
663
00:24:02,942 --> 00:24:04,910
♪Brogelios4Life.
664
00:24:04,911 --> 00:24:06,841
We are, but we're also
about to be family,
665
00:24:06,846 --> 00:24:08,846
and you know,
that changes things.
666
00:24:08,848 --> 00:24:10,978
They can't tell funny stories
and have them be inappropriate
667
00:24:10,983 --> 00:24:13,153
while my wife's dad
is around, you know?
668
00:24:13,154 --> 00:24:15,652
Yeah, I understand.
669
00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:18,159
If I were a normal dad.
670
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,757
But I'm a cool dad.
671
00:24:19,759 --> 00:24:22,159
You can be inappropriate
around me, I swear.
672
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:24,461
(sighs)
673
00:24:24,464 --> 00:24:26,598
Okay, we-- I mean, all right.
674
00:24:26,599 --> 00:24:28,629
You know that story
with the Redneck Riviera?
675
00:24:28,634 --> 00:24:29,874
When you ate the worm?
Hilarious.
676
00:24:29,875 --> 00:24:31,736
Yeah, and after that,
677
00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:35,037
we went to a strip club
where we met
678
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:37,479
a stripper named Jane
and her twin sister,
679
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,237
and she showed us...
Enough, stop it!
680
00:24:39,245 --> 00:24:40,475
I'm sorry.
I get it.
681
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,610
I get it.
682
00:24:41,614 --> 00:24:42,714
You've made your point.
683
00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:44,245
I'll cancel the massages
684
00:24:44,250 --> 00:24:46,180
so you can go to a bar
with your friends
685
00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:49,185
and talk about things I never
want to hear about again.
686
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:51,656
Okay, let's get
out of the pool...
687
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,117
Wait, wait, wait,
I-I mean,
688
00:24:53,125 --> 00:24:56,855
I'm not really in a bar mood
right now-- are you?
689
00:24:56,863 --> 00:24:59,201
I mean, we go to bars,
like, every night.
690
00:24:59,202 --> 00:25:02,667
Yeah, and a two-hour massage,
bro, sounds kind of cool.
691
00:25:02,668 --> 00:25:04,198
Fine, yeah, yeah.
692
00:25:04,203 --> 00:25:06,838
We'll, uh, we'll
get the massages.
693
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,739
VALERIA:
Relax.
694
00:25:08,741 --> 00:25:09,971
We got this.
695
00:25:09,976 --> 00:25:11,206
Okay, repeat the plan
696
00:25:11,210 --> 00:25:12,510
back to me just to make sure.
697
00:25:12,512 --> 00:25:13,542
You go.
698
00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:15,206
I thought you were listening.
699
00:25:15,214 --> 00:25:16,648
I listened last time.
700
00:25:16,649 --> 00:25:18,149
Okay, both of you, listen!
701
00:25:18,150 --> 00:25:19,780
One of you says you have
a personal emergency
702
00:25:19,785 --> 00:25:21,015
and you need to borrow
Professor Blake's phone
703
00:25:21,020 --> 00:25:22,120
because both of your phones
704
00:25:22,121 --> 00:25:23,221
are dead, then
705
00:25:23,222 --> 00:25:24,656
one of you stays with him
706
00:25:24,657 --> 00:25:25,987
while the other one goes
to make the call
707
00:25:25,992 --> 00:25:28,092
and deletes the voice mail,
then you return
708
00:25:28,094 --> 00:25:29,934
the phone to Professor Blake
and you slip out.
709
00:25:29,935 --> 00:25:32,529
One champagne.
No champagne!
710
00:25:32,532 --> 00:25:34,302
Calm down, calm down, we
got this. This is easy.
711
00:25:34,303 --> 00:25:37,000
Yeah, it's like taking candy
from a baby.
712
00:25:38,905 --> 00:25:41,105
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Or leaving your babies.
713
00:25:41,107 --> 00:25:42,937
Honestly, I don't knowwhat's more shocking.
714
00:25:42,942 --> 00:25:45,010
Petra abandoning her children
715
00:25:45,011 --> 00:25:48,280
or Petra taking a bus.
716
00:25:48,281 --> 00:25:49,881
(moaning)
717
00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,782
Can't believe how
much I like this.
718
00:25:51,784 --> 00:25:53,652
You-you never had a massage?
719
00:25:53,653 --> 00:25:56,023
No.
720
00:25:57,156 --> 00:25:58,686
Well, they are
721
00:25:58,691 --> 00:26:00,721
very relaxing.
722
00:26:08,634 --> 00:26:09,834
So, Ro?
723
00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:11,635
Is everything cool with us?
724
00:26:11,637 --> 00:26:13,797
Yes, I understand
what you're saying.
725
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:15,206
There should be a certain amount
726
00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:18,176
of decorum between father-in-law
and son-in-law.
727
00:26:18,177 --> 00:26:20,837
I don't need to hear everything.
728
00:26:20,846 --> 00:26:22,846
Okay, but the thing is,
729
00:26:22,848 --> 00:26:25,978
you did hear about
the strippers or whatever.
730
00:26:25,985 --> 00:26:28,215
Does that change
the way you feel about me?
731
00:26:28,220 --> 00:26:29,250
What?
732
00:26:29,255 --> 00:26:30,645
Of course not.
733
00:26:30,656 --> 00:26:32,656
(sighs)
Okay, good.
734
00:26:32,658 --> 00:26:34,728
I was worried.
735
00:26:36,062 --> 00:26:37,932
You were?
736
00:26:38,931 --> 00:26:41,231
Of course.
737
00:26:41,233 --> 00:26:42,973
What you think
really matters to me.
738
00:26:42,974 --> 00:26:44,736
More than anything.
739
00:26:44,737 --> 00:26:46,867
I mean...
(chuckles)
740
00:26:46,872 --> 00:26:48,740
I'm marrying your daughter.
741
00:26:48,741 --> 00:26:52,241
You're massaging my heart
right now, Michael Cordero.
742
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:54,079
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Aw!
743
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,280
Looks like this massage
744
00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:57,749
has a happy ending after all!
745
00:26:57,750 --> 00:27:01,019
(both imitate small explosion)
746
00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:02,620
And just for the record,
747
00:27:02,622 --> 00:27:05,162
I couldn't imagine
anyone better for Jane.
748
00:27:05,163 --> 00:27:06,617
Oh...
749
00:27:06,626 --> 00:27:08,656
You are my dream man.
750
00:27:08,661 --> 00:27:10,791
JANE:
This is a nightmare.
751
00:27:10,796 --> 00:27:13,096
Here, this will take
the edge off waiting.
752
00:27:13,099 --> 00:27:14,159
I can't believe
this is happening!
753
00:27:14,166 --> 00:27:15,666
We got it!
Huh?
754
00:27:15,668 --> 00:27:17,836
Piece of cake!
You took it?
755
00:27:17,837 --> 00:27:18,967
We figured we'd
let you do the honors.
756
00:27:18,971 --> 00:27:20,238
Fine, give me that.
757
00:27:20,239 --> 00:27:22,939
Oh, yes, it doesn't
require a code.
758
00:27:22,942 --> 00:27:24,676
Sucker.
Ooh!
759
00:27:24,677 --> 00:27:26,007
(gasps)
Found my voice mail.
760
00:27:26,012 --> 00:27:27,182
He didn't listen!
Yes!
761
00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:30,348
(gasps)
What is that?
762
00:27:30,349 --> 00:27:31,949
His wallet.
What?!
763
00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:34,121
(phone beeping)
What is it doing?
764
00:27:34,122 --> 00:27:35,689
Oh, he has Find My Phone!
765
00:27:35,690 --> 00:27:36,948
What?!
Ditch it, quick!
766
00:27:36,956 --> 00:27:39,416
(grunts)
No!
767
00:27:40,726 --> 00:27:42,956
Now!
Aah! Gah!
768
00:27:42,962 --> 00:27:43,992
No!
For our blog!
769
00:27:43,996 --> 00:27:45,696
Leave it.
(both grunt)
770
00:27:45,698 --> 00:27:46,828
Run! Run!
771
00:27:56,742 --> 00:27:58,977
We really did it!
I can't believe we did it!
772
00:27:58,978 --> 00:28:00,108
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Me neither.
Now let's get back to partying!
773
00:28:00,112 --> 00:28:01,712
Wait, where's my mom?
774
00:28:01,714 --> 00:28:04,783
She went back to get the phones.
What phones?
775
00:28:04,784 --> 00:28:07,224
I guess she left her purse
with our phones in the bar?
776
00:28:07,225 --> 00:28:09,049
What?
Except yours!
777
00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:10,885
So we got her
an Uber and she's on it.
778
00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:14,459
(sighs)
779
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,160
Chad's on the lookout.
780
00:28:16,162 --> 00:28:17,762
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And that's when...
781
00:28:17,763 --> 00:28:18,963
Your fiancé.
782
00:28:18,964 --> 00:28:21,166
...she saw him.
783
00:28:21,167 --> 00:28:23,367
And he saw her.
784
00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:25,439
Oh...
785
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:28,209
Did you hear back from your mom?
786
00:28:28,210 --> 00:28:29,407
No, not yet.
787
00:28:29,408 --> 00:28:31,738
God, your skin looks amazing.
788
00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:32,844
Spasibo.
(laughs)
789
00:28:32,845 --> 00:28:34,075
That's thank you
in Russian.
790
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:35,447
Fancy.
I know.
791
00:28:35,448 --> 00:28:37,308
(phone chimes)
Oh, please, please, please.
792
00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,776
Finally.
793
00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:43,817
Ah...
I got this.
794
00:28:48,327 --> 00:28:49,957
Don't worry,
I'm in charge of your mom.
795
00:28:49,962 --> 00:28:51,096
Really?
796
00:28:51,097 --> 00:28:52,827
Really.
797
00:28:52,832 --> 00:28:54,299
LINA:
Good news,
798
00:28:54,300 --> 00:28:55,969
bachelors and bachelorettes,
799
00:28:55,970 --> 00:28:58,937
everyone is down for
an after-party at the Marbella.
800
00:28:58,938 --> 00:29:00,798
Should we do it?
801
00:29:00,806 --> 00:29:01,906
I don't know.
802
00:29:04,343 --> 00:29:05,777
Do you want to?
803
00:29:05,778 --> 00:29:07,208
I wouldn't mind a drink.
804
00:29:11,450 --> 00:29:13,780
Last night of freedom, right?
805
00:29:13,786 --> 00:29:14,786
Let's do it.
806
00:29:14,787 --> 00:29:17,447
¶ Hey, hey, hey, hey ¶
807
00:29:17,456 --> 00:29:21,326
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
And do it, they did!
808
00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:24,457
¶ 'Cause we comin'
out tonight... ¶
809
00:29:24,463 --> 00:29:26,763
¶ Hey, hey, hip-hop hooray... ¶
810
00:29:26,766 --> 00:29:28,026
I am on it, I am
811
00:29:28,033 --> 00:29:29,033
(high voice):
on it!
Yeah!
812
00:29:29,034 --> 00:29:30,468
(laughs)
(whoops)
813
00:29:30,469 --> 00:29:32,039
¶ 'Cause we comin'
out tonight... ¶
814
00:29:32,040 --> 00:29:33,337
Hey.
815
00:29:33,339 --> 00:29:35,509
I might have not
gone to college,
816
00:29:35,510 --> 00:29:39,038
but at least
I can dance, okay?
817
00:29:39,044 --> 00:29:40,944
Why are you being so mean?
818
00:29:40,946 --> 00:29:43,806
Oh, my God, Angela's been
so rude to me all night!
819
00:29:43,816 --> 00:29:46,046
What are you talking about?
Yeah, yeah.
820
00:29:46,051 --> 00:29:48,351
Asking questions...
That's Angela!
821
00:29:48,354 --> 00:29:50,054
That's why we call
her Weird Angela.
822
00:29:50,055 --> 00:29:51,355
I thought you said
she was brilliant.
823
00:29:51,357 --> 00:29:53,487
She is, and weird.
Angela?
824
00:29:53,492 --> 00:29:55,062
No! No!
Yes!
825
00:29:56,929 --> 00:29:59,799
Angela, Lina would like
to apologize to you.
826
00:30:01,066 --> 00:30:03,366
I'm sorry if I was
rude to you tonight.
827
00:30:03,369 --> 00:30:04,899
When were you rude?
828
00:30:06,071 --> 00:30:08,239
(mouths)
Who's thirsty?
829
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:09,840
Should I? I'm pretty wasted.
830
00:30:09,842 --> 00:30:11,009
I just texted your mom.
831
00:30:11,010 --> 00:30:12,080
She's pulling into the hotel.
832
00:30:12,081 --> 00:30:13,377
Do it.
833
00:30:13,379 --> 00:30:14,948
¶ Hey, hey, hip-hop hooray ¶
834
00:30:14,949 --> 00:30:16,507
¶ Pop a bottle
and flow all day... ¶
835
00:30:16,515 --> 00:30:18,075
Ah! (whoops)
836
00:30:18,083 --> 00:30:19,983
¶ Pop a bottle
and flow all day ¶
837
00:30:19,985 --> 00:30:22,945
¶ 'Cause we comin'
out tonight... ¶
838
00:30:22,955 --> 00:30:24,515
It is going down!
839
00:30:24,523 --> 00:30:26,223
Yeah?
840
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:27,485
Yeah!
(whoops)
841
00:30:27,493 --> 00:30:29,227
(chimes tinkle)
842
00:30:29,228 --> 00:30:31,528
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my honor
843
00:30:31,530 --> 00:30:33,530
and privilege
to welcome to the stage
844
00:30:33,532 --> 00:30:36,501
the Queen of Miami,
the Boss of the Beach,
845
00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:39,902
the Maiden of the Marbella...
846
00:30:39,905 --> 00:30:43,405
it's Sweet Lady Jane!
847
00:30:43,409 --> 00:30:45,039
(cheering)
848
00:30:45,044 --> 00:30:47,178
¶ ¶
849
00:30:47,179 --> 00:30:49,149
¶ First things first,
I'm Sweet Lady Jane ¶
850
00:30:49,150 --> 00:30:51,278
¶ And I'm-a drop lyrics
so sick, they insane ¶
851
00:30:51,283 --> 00:30:53,451
¶ Got the 305 and
I'm bringing the pain ¶
852
00:30:53,452 --> 00:30:55,452
¶ Got the fly boys screamin'
"That's Sweet Lady Jane" ¶
853
00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:58,189
¶ Got a secret for y'all:
it's my last night of freedom ¶
854
00:30:58,190 --> 00:31:00,190
¶ I'm like Don Quixote
and I'm finding my kingdom ¶
855
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:02,192
¶ Got my king by my side 'cause
this queen likes to ride ¶
856
00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:05,029
¶ Far away from the baby mama
drama drama drama drama... ¶
857
00:31:05,030 --> 00:31:07,560
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
At least, that's what happenedin her head.
858
00:31:07,566 --> 00:31:10,466
In reality...Jane was really wasted.
859
00:31:10,469 --> 00:31:12,337
So it was more like this.
860
00:31:12,338 --> 00:31:13,368
Yeah!
Yeah!
861
00:31:13,372 --> 00:31:15,272
Yeah!
ALL:
Yeah!
862
00:31:15,274 --> 00:31:16,444
¶ Y'all say... ¶
The point was,
863
00:31:16,445 --> 00:31:18,109
she lost control.
864
00:31:18,110 --> 00:31:20,879
¶ I love you
like you love me... ¶
865
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:22,910
¶ Yo. Yo. ¶
(beatboxing)
866
00:31:22,915 --> 00:31:24,175
¶ It's gotta be great ¶
867
00:31:24,183 --> 00:31:25,550
¶ I cannot wait ¶
868
00:31:25,551 --> 00:31:27,651
¶ I wanna rock, I wanna roll ¶
869
00:31:27,653 --> 00:31:29,988
¶ I wanna be so gangster ¶
870
00:31:29,989 --> 00:31:32,619
¶ I'm gonna go slow,
real slow... ¶
871
00:31:36,295 --> 00:31:38,195
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Oh, dear.
872
00:31:38,197 --> 00:31:40,957
Someone seems to behaving regrets.
873
00:31:44,103 --> 00:31:45,370
Wait a second.
874
00:31:45,371 --> 00:31:46,901
I wasn't awful.
875
00:31:46,906 --> 00:31:48,136
So awful.
876
00:31:48,140 --> 00:31:49,370
(laughing):
Oh, no!
877
00:31:49,375 --> 00:31:50,465
Lina, um, a-as your
friend, I feel like
878
00:31:50,476 --> 00:31:52,236
it's my duty
to let you know
879
00:31:52,244 --> 00:31:54,084
that guy Chad, who you like,
he's out in the hall, and...
880
00:31:54,085 --> 00:31:56,109
Oh!
881
00:31:58,417 --> 00:32:00,377
Oh, my God. You have
got to be kidding me.
882
00:32:01,654 --> 00:32:03,254
Mom?
883
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:05,256
(exhales)
Uh...
884
00:32:05,257 --> 00:32:06,317
CHAD:
Wait, Lina, wait.
885
00:32:07,626 --> 00:32:09,486
Jane, I'm sorry.
886
00:32:09,495 --> 00:32:11,925
This is why I didn't want you
at my bachelorette party.
887
00:32:11,931 --> 00:32:13,431
Because I knew
this would happen.
888
00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:16,070
I knew you would act
like a drunk sorority girl.
889
00:32:16,071 --> 00:32:17,468
Wait. That's not fair.
890
00:32:17,469 --> 00:32:18,636
You're right.
891
00:32:18,637 --> 00:32:21,097
(crying):
It's not fair!
892
00:32:21,106 --> 00:32:23,436
You know why I'm such
a control freak, Mom?
893
00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:24,982
Because I grew up with you,
894
00:32:24,983 --> 00:32:27,307
and you are so out of control!
895
00:32:39,058 --> 00:32:41,458
Hey.
896
00:32:41,460 --> 00:32:43,190
I am so sorry.
897
00:32:43,195 --> 00:32:45,325
No.
898
00:32:45,331 --> 00:32:47,331
He was clearly a jerk.
899
00:32:47,333 --> 00:32:48,573
It's better I know now.
900
00:32:48,574 --> 00:32:50,297
Are you okay?
901
00:32:50,302 --> 00:32:52,470
I think this...
902
00:32:52,471 --> 00:32:54,739
and the Angela thing...
903
00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:56,610
It's like,
you're getting married,
904
00:32:56,611 --> 00:32:58,138
you have a kid,
905
00:32:58,143 --> 00:33:00,478
and I'm happy for you, I am.
906
00:33:00,479 --> 00:33:01,546
I know.
907
00:33:01,547 --> 00:33:03,077
But it just makes me think
908
00:33:03,082 --> 00:33:04,582
how everything is
moving forward for you,
909
00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:07,383
but I'm still sort of lost.
910
00:33:09,221 --> 00:33:11,151
I don't want to be
at the Marbella forever.
911
00:33:11,156 --> 00:33:12,286
And you won't be.
912
00:33:12,291 --> 00:33:13,291
Yeah.
913
00:33:13,292 --> 00:33:14,622
(sniffs)
914
00:33:14,626 --> 00:33:16,156
Do you want to make a list?
915
00:33:17,396 --> 00:33:18,756
What kind of list?
916
00:33:18,764 --> 00:33:21,102
Well, just like
a five-point action item list.
917
00:33:21,103 --> 00:33:23,400
Don't worry, it's, like,
the most basic type of list.
918
00:33:23,402 --> 00:33:25,002
Oh, my God,
919
00:33:25,004 --> 00:33:26,504
you have different
types of lists?
Of course.
920
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,005
(laughs)
Hey, if you want
to be a stylist,
921
00:33:28,007 --> 00:33:29,637
you gotta come up
with a plan, right?
922
00:33:29,641 --> 00:33:31,709
Okay. Let's do it.
923
00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:35,380
And my mom owes you
an apology, of course.
924
00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:38,181
No. It's like
she helped me, kind of.
925
00:33:38,183 --> 00:33:40,423
Seeing that... you know?
I don't know.
926
00:33:40,424 --> 00:33:43,119
It's like a cautionary tale,
927
00:33:43,122 --> 00:33:45,192
right?
928
00:33:47,259 --> 00:33:49,059
(door opens)
929
00:33:49,061 --> 00:33:50,331
Mmm...
930
00:33:53,665 --> 00:33:55,125
I know.
931
00:34:01,740 --> 00:34:03,210
Oh...
932
00:34:05,677 --> 00:34:07,037
(sighs)
933
00:34:07,046 --> 00:34:10,446
I messed up, Ma.
934
00:34:10,449 --> 00:34:12,519
I really messed up.
935
00:34:40,412 --> 00:34:42,212
No...
936
00:34:42,214 --> 00:34:43,414
What the hell?
937
00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:45,645
Oh, we all got them. Bam!
938
00:34:45,651 --> 00:34:47,318
Oh, no!
939
00:34:47,319 --> 00:34:48,519
Yep.
940
00:34:48,520 --> 00:34:50,250
Oh, my God...
941
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:52,315
Yeah.
(giggles)
942
00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:54,692
Oh, I'm still drunk.
943
00:34:54,693 --> 00:34:55,663
I know.
944
00:34:55,664 --> 00:34:57,191
(giggles)
945
00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:59,856
But can I say something?
946
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:05,770
I love you so much.
947
00:35:05,771 --> 00:35:07,401
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
So, I guess we're backto gushing levels.
948
00:35:07,406 --> 00:35:09,436
And I'm not just gushing
because I'm drunk,
949
00:35:09,441 --> 00:35:11,741
I'm gushing
950
00:35:11,743 --> 00:35:14,612
because...
951
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:17,348
I've been having trouble
with my vows.
952
00:35:17,349 --> 00:35:19,579
Distilling
what to say.
953
00:35:19,585 --> 00:35:22,385
And tonight I realized
954
00:35:22,387 --> 00:35:24,147
it's simple.
955
00:35:24,890 --> 00:35:27,590
With you...
956
00:35:27,593 --> 00:35:31,129
You make me feel safe,
957
00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:32,860
in the best way.
958
00:35:34,766 --> 00:35:38,496
And my mom kept telling me
to lose control,
959
00:35:38,504 --> 00:35:43,374
but I couldn't
until you got here.
960
00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:45,535
Because I know
you're watching over me.
961
00:35:45,544 --> 00:35:46,777
(sobs)
962
00:35:46,778 --> 00:35:48,148
Instead of me always having
963
00:35:48,149 --> 00:35:49,407
to watch over everyone else.
964
00:35:49,414 --> 00:35:51,149
So tonight is not
965
00:35:51,150 --> 00:35:52,550
my last night of freedom,
966
00:35:52,551 --> 00:35:55,491
it's my first night of freedom.
967
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:01,888
And that's what I'm going
to put in my vows.
968
00:36:01,894 --> 00:36:04,664
Minus the whole
"mom out of control" part.
969
00:36:04,665 --> 00:36:08,366
Actually, I wanted to talk
to you about that.
970
00:36:08,367 --> 00:36:10,767
I've been feeling
a little stuck, and I,
971
00:36:10,769 --> 00:36:11,899
and I figured out why--
972
00:36:11,904 --> 00:36:14,438
during my massage.
973
00:36:14,439 --> 00:36:15,439
(laughs)
974
00:36:15,440 --> 00:36:17,440
I realized that
some things
975
00:36:17,442 --> 00:36:19,442
are only meant for
certain people to hear.
976
00:36:19,444 --> 00:36:21,584
LATIN LOVER NARRATOR:
Redneck Riviera, for example--
977
00:36:21,585 --> 00:36:23,610
not a story for fathers-in-law.
978
00:36:23,615 --> 00:36:25,875
And when it comes to
my feelings for you...
979
00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:29,394
you're the only person that
I want to share those with.
980
00:36:29,395 --> 00:36:31,518
So I was
wondering if...
981
00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:35,293
maybe we didn't put the
vows in the program...
982
00:36:35,294 --> 00:36:38,396
but instead I told
you them right now.
983
00:36:38,397 --> 00:36:39,627
(softly):
Yes.
984
00:36:39,631 --> 00:36:41,571
Yes, please.
985
00:36:42,768 --> 00:36:44,898
¶ ¶
986
00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:48,536
Jane...
987
00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:49,710
(whispers):
Yeah?
988
00:36:49,711 --> 00:36:51,538
¶ ¶
989
00:36:51,543 --> 00:36:54,843
Sorry, but remember,he wants these to be private.
990
00:36:54,846 --> 00:36:57,446
You'll just haveto take my word for it--
991
00:36:57,449 --> 00:36:59,449
they were perfect.
992
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:01,821
¶ ¶
993
00:37:09,828 --> 00:37:12,528
Thank you.
And I am so sorry again
994
00:37:12,531 --> 00:37:14,861
for waking them up
when I got in last night.
995
00:37:15,867 --> 00:37:17,397
(sighs)
996
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,472
(phone chimes)
997
00:37:26,545 --> 00:37:27,935
Huh.
998
00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:30,276
I-I get a warrant, he knows
you told me about it.
999
00:37:30,282 --> 00:37:31,412
So don't get a warrant.
1000
00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:34,619
Oh, come on, Michael.
1001
00:37:34,620 --> 00:37:37,620
We both know you're not
above bending the rules.
1002
00:37:37,623 --> 00:37:38,760
Those days are over.
1003
00:37:38,761 --> 00:37:40,857
It's all got to be
by the book now.
1004
00:37:40,859 --> 00:37:44,889
So apparently, Rafael tookmatters into his own hands,
1005
00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:48,496
and he got proof that hisbrother was telling the truth.
1006
00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:49,970
Thanks for letting me crash.
1007
00:37:50,969 --> 00:37:52,837
You okay?
Yeah.
1008
00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:54,298
Yeah.
1009
00:37:54,306 --> 00:37:55,766
For the first time,he trusts you.
1010
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:57,644
Sorry, I'm just...
Are you hungry?
1011
00:37:57,645 --> 00:37:59,483
Yeah.
Here, let's get
some food, huh?
1012
00:37:59,484 --> 00:38:00,878
I'll pull up a menu.
1013
00:38:00,879 --> 00:38:02,579
What's that e-mail?
1014
00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:03,911
From the bank?
1015
00:38:05,584 --> 00:38:07,484
Oh, my God.
What?
1016
00:38:07,486 --> 00:38:09,986
Did I buy stock last night?
1017
00:38:09,988 --> 00:38:11,318
I don't know, man.
1018
00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:13,923
It's all kind of a blur.
(chuckles): Yeah.
1019
00:38:13,925 --> 00:38:15,785
Oh, my God, I did.
1020
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:17,294
And I just...
1021
00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:19,056
made $5 million.
1022
00:38:19,064 --> 00:38:21,599
Okay. Wow.
1023
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,800
Uh... so we should probably get
our stories straight, right?
1024
00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:26,070
What do you mean?
1025
00:38:26,071 --> 00:38:28,809
Well, Brandon knew
they had the patent...
1026
00:38:28,810 --> 00:38:30,937
before they announced
it this morning.
1027
00:38:30,942 --> 00:38:33,542
You mean like...insider trading?
1028
00:38:33,545 --> 00:38:35,605
I'm sorry, I...
I thought you knew.
1029
00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:38,354
That's why...
I didn't want you to invest.
1030
00:38:39,318 --> 00:38:41,986
What a mess.
1031
00:38:41,987 --> 00:38:44,887
And from one mess to another.
1032
00:38:44,890 --> 00:38:46,820
(knocking)
1033
00:38:50,696 --> 00:38:53,696
Hey. Pastelitos.
1034
00:38:53,699 --> 00:38:55,366
Ah, yes.
1035
00:38:55,367 --> 00:38:57,467
An old family tradition.
1036
00:38:57,469 --> 00:38:59,539
(knocking)
1037
00:39:00,472 --> 00:39:02,707
Pastelitos from Isidoro's.
1038
00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:04,638
¶ ¶
1039
00:39:05,577 --> 00:39:08,037
I'm sorry about last night.
1040
00:39:08,046 --> 00:39:10,546
I-I was out of control.
1041
00:39:10,549 --> 00:39:13,079
It's just that
you're turning 21.
1042
00:39:13,085 --> 00:39:15,115
And you're getting married.
1043
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:16,820
(crying):
You're an adult now.
1044
00:39:16,822 --> 00:39:18,722
And what that does to me...
1045
00:39:18,724 --> 00:39:21,058
What that does to me-- well,
1046
00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:24,628
it makes me feel old, for one.
1047
00:39:24,629 --> 00:39:26,759
And it makes me realize...
1048
00:39:26,765 --> 00:39:28,825
that my big job is done.
1049
00:39:28,834 --> 00:39:30,067
Being a mom,
1050
00:39:30,068 --> 00:39:31,898
it's the only thing
1051
00:39:31,903 --> 00:39:33,943
I've been really successful at.
1052
00:39:33,944 --> 00:39:37,739
(sobbing):
And it makes me wonder...
1053
00:39:37,743 --> 00:39:39,943
what am I doing with my life?
1054
00:39:39,945 --> 00:39:42,005
¶ ¶
1055
00:39:42,013 --> 00:39:44,382
(crying): A-And I just
realized that I...
1056
00:39:44,383 --> 00:39:47,123
(chuckles) have
to figure it out, you know?
1057
00:39:48,653 --> 00:39:49,787
So I will.
1058
00:39:49,788 --> 00:39:51,148
And I'm sorry.
1059
00:39:51,156 --> 00:39:52,956
It's okay, Mom.
1060
00:39:52,958 --> 00:39:54,588
I know it's hard.
1061
00:39:54,593 --> 00:39:55,960
And I'm sorry.
1062
00:39:55,961 --> 00:39:57,991
And maybeit was Jane's hangover
1063
00:39:57,996 --> 00:40:00,156
or the fact thatit was the same apology
1064
00:40:00,165 --> 00:40:03,895
Xo had given four years beforeand four years before that,
1065
00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:05,902
but this time Jane said...
1066
00:40:05,904 --> 00:40:07,944
I don't want your apology, Mom.
1067
00:40:07,945 --> 00:40:09,939
I want you to grow up.
1068
00:40:09,941 --> 00:40:12,479
What are you talking about?
I'm plenty grown up.
1069
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,607
We've been having
the same conversation for years.
1070
00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:17,752
At this point,I should remind you
1071
00:40:17,753 --> 00:40:19,879
that Jane didn't lose controlvery often.
1072
00:40:19,885 --> 00:40:21,075
And I've had it.
1073
00:40:21,086 --> 00:40:22,916
Enough with all
the excuses
1074
00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:24,721
and the apologies.
1075
00:40:24,723 --> 00:40:26,056
At this point
1076
00:40:26,057 --> 00:40:27,857
you are just a cautionary tale.
1077
00:40:27,859 --> 00:40:30,889
But when she did, it was epic.
1078
00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:36,599
(taking deep breaths)
1079
00:40:38,603 --> 00:40:40,743
¶ ¶
1080
00:40:43,909 --> 00:40:46,609
Which brings us back to Petra.
1081
00:40:46,611 --> 00:40:48,811
¶ ¶
1082
00:40:48,814 --> 00:40:51,482
It should be notedthat Petra, too,
1083
00:40:51,483 --> 00:40:54,223
rarely lost control.
1084
00:41:00,125 --> 00:41:01,515
Oh, my God.
1085
00:41:01,526 --> 00:41:04,126
My long-lost sister!
It's you!
1086
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:06,197
(laughs):
It's really you!
1087
00:41:06,198 --> 00:41:07,998
Oh!
1088
00:41:07,999 --> 00:41:09,967
Then again,
1089
00:41:09,968 --> 00:41:12,698
that isn't Petra.
1090
00:41:12,704 --> 00:41:14,704
(exhales)
76272
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
