Original subtitles

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Okay, where to begin?

After being engaged and then broken up,

Jane and Michael are finally

back together.

Not as thrilled?

Jane's baby daddy/ former boyfriend

Rafael, but that was over.

My feelings changed and that's why we aren't together.

And he did say he'd try to get on board with Michael.

Complicating everything? His ex-wife Petra.

See, she impregnated herself with Rafael's sperm.

And she was expecting twins! Oh, and did I mention

Rafael recently got back in touch with his mother?

You actually have a half brother.

Oh, and turns out she's a crime lord.

It's her! So, yeah, tough times for the Rafster.

Also going through tough times-- Jane's father,

international telenovela star Rogelio de la Vega.

See, after he and Xo broke up,

he and Jane got into a fight.

I just think I need some space right now.

Even worse, he was kidnapped by his number-one fan/

prison pen pal/new assistant!

No one can ever get out.

I know, bananas!

So let's see what happens next.

When Jane Gloriana Villanueva

was 15 years old, she fell hard and fast

for romance novels.

(sultry music playing)

(record scratches)

What the...?

(Alba clears throat)

(sighs)

Man, did Jane yearn

to know what that black ink was hiding.

It was as if her whole life

were leading up to that revelation.

Which brings us to last night,

just after Jane and Michael's romance-novel-worthy kiss.

Jane was ready.

The time was right.

What were they waiting for?

And so they finally had sex.

Lots and lots of sex.

Just kidding.

Geez, why are you all so obsessed

with that anyway? Oh.

Here's what really happened.

(exhales)

We got to take a break.

No, let's have sex.

What? I mean, I've been thinking about it, and it was

one thing to be a virgin when marriage was on the horizon.

But then we weren't together.

And the finish line moved.

And it seemed so far away!

Closer now.

Huh?

The finish line.

Because we're getting married.

Oh...

that's true.

Yeah, and I wouldn't even be waiting that long.

Well, on the other hand, what's the point of waiting

if we're gonna get married anyway, you know?

Well, I mean, I did want to wait.

Yeah. And if it's gonna be soon.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Bro!

You just blocked yourself!

Well, in that case,

get ready to be proposed to,

because it's gonna happen soon.

Very soon.

(laughing)

And so Jane and Michael were back together.

And in some ways, it felt just like old times.

They ate Cubanos.

Jane and Michael?

You're back together?!

They sent cute texts to each other.

They caught up on Scandal.

Honestly, I'm glad Olivia's done with Fitz.

Oh, my God, I knew it.

You kept watching without me. No, I, no, I didn't...

You did. Some of the guys from the office watch it.

You're a total Gladiator, admit it. Uh-uh.

Admit it. Mm-mm.

(Mateo crying) Oh.

But then again,

some things were different

because there was a baby. (knocking)

And a baby daddy.

This seems like a good time

to catch up on what Rafael has been up to

these last ten days.

He has, in fact, been having sex.

Lots and lots of sex

with a lot of different women.

The exact number is not important.

But all six encounters had one thing in common.

Let's talk contraception.

I probably can't have kids,

but we still need two different kinds.

I've got the condoms.

Then either the pill, an IUD, the patch,

the ring, the shot or the sponge.

Yes, Rafael had decided that instead of no sex and babies,

he would try sex and no babies for a change.

Sorry I'm late.

I keep missing that turn onto 3rd.

You'll recall Rafael promised to try with Michael.

Guess I need to give myself some more time.

Yeah, gets confusing.

So here he is, trying.

Don't worry, it took me a while to figure out the neighborhood.

And the traffic on the I-95 is the worst, so it's...

In fact, I think it's safe to say that all three of them

were finding this trying.

So, I'll check in with you later

and just tell you how he's doing.

Great, yeah.

Have a good time with Daddy.

All right.

See you two later.

Mm-hmm.

I just, huh...

Did he seem okay to you?

Yeah, yeah, he seemed, uh, you know, normal.

Like he was trying to be nice.

Well, let's talk about it.

No. (stammers) I'm sorry.

No, if you're, if you're worried.

I'm sure he's fine.

In times like these,

Jane couldn't help but imagine what could've been

if she hadn't broken up with Michael

all those months ago.

The Sliding Doors version,

as it were.

Raf! Hey!

Hey!

Oh, come on in.

Hey, come to Daddy.

Jane, Raf's here.

Oh, my boy!

Hi, Daddy. Hi, how are you?

Okay, now that I have you two here,

we need to start planning Mateo's first birthday party.

Really? I mean, that's a little early, Jane.

Three months early. Come on!

No way, you two.

Don't gang up on me.

(both laughing)

XIOMARA: Okay, it wouldn't be like that.

Maybe not.

But if I hadn't left Michael back then,

things would be so much easier.

And tomorrow would be our first wedding anniversary.

Really?

(phone chimes)

(sighs, chuckles) What?

Dad replied to my text.

So immature.

Did you see his latest tweet?

I'm getting pissed.

I-I know that I hurt his feelings.

But you don't just detach yourself from your family.

There's no excuse for that!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: How about being held hostage

by your old prison pen pal,

who disguised herself as your assistant?

Please, let's talk. We will.

Without the shackles!

How can I trust you?

First you stopped writing to me.

Then La Miseria stopped airing.

I was your biggest fan!

Okay, if there's any hope of recapturing the magic,

I can't be shackled.

What are you talking about?

Cesar the Barefoot Bandito kept Estela in a love cage

until she finally developed feelings for him.

Look, you can't keep me here.

I will be missed.

Tiago starts a two-week break tomorrow.

My family will notice I'm gone.

You asked them for some space.

I'll stay in contact with them for you.

Give me your passcode.

No, I will not do it.

(gasps)

No, not the face.

Dear God,

not the face.

007! It's 007!

Which brings us here now

to the biggest acting challenge of Rogelio's career.

Thank you, dear Lola.

It's so hard to believe I once feared you.

In some ways, it was working.

Occasionally, she removed his arm shackles.

See?

(phone chimes)

But not in all ways.

Another text from Jane?

"Dad, it's been two weeks.

"I know I really hurt you and I'm sorry,

"but please stop shutting us out.

When do you get back?"

Please, Lola, she needs more than that.

She's missing her father.

I'll think about it.

Time for night-night.

Maybe one night without the pill?

(chuckles)

I love you, Rogo.

Heard you got a lead on our missing person.

Yep, Derek's ex-girlfriend is back in town.

I know what you're thinking.

Who is Derek? Well, Derek is...

Actually, what the hell? Let's Scandal our way through this.

What? Michael's not the only fan.

Derek Ruvelle, son of Rafael's mother,

Elena Di Nola.

Rafael's half brother.

Is he a good guy or a bad guy?

Here's what we know-- rich kid, dropped out of Pepperdine.

Classic Trustafarian, he travels. Spends his mother's money.

Here's where it gets exciting-- our buddy Derek disappeared

the day after Mutter's identity was discovered.

Social media accounts remain silent.

Last known whereabouts place him

in St. Croix traveling with this woman,

Avery Van Allen.

So find me Avery Van Allen.

Just landed back in Miami.

She was in Ibiza.

Want me to pick her up? No.

Let's see if we can catch her off-guard.

Before she knows we're looking for her.

No, definitely not.

I have no interest in finding my brother.

MICHAEL: I know that.

I'm just asking you to help us

make contact, get information.

Sorry, I'm not getting involved.

(door opens)

Well, looks like Rafael's

pretty much killing my investigation.

Oh, wait, I'm sorry.

This is a Rafael-free zone.

What is, what is all this?

Well, it's silly, but

today we would've been married one year.

So I thought we might as well celebrate anyway.

Old-school Jane and Michael style.

Oh, yeah? Old-school?

Mmm, hard-core old-school.

(laughs)

Oh, I had the same thought.

Happy would've-been- our-anniversary.

Oh...

Open it, open it, open it, open it, open it, open it.

(laughs) Okay!

(gasps)

No way.

The new Angelique Harper?

Mm-hmm.

Oh...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And a hardcover, how decadent!

Well, you know me-- living large.

And this is good.

I can look at her without cringing.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Ah, yes, you'll recall this happened last year.

Even my masseuse has a manuscript.

Oh, no, no, I-I-I'm not... You don't want me to read that?

Well, I-I do...

Let's see how the massage goes first, okay, honey?

I wonder why she never responded to my chapter.

She liked my massage, trust me.

Lots of moaning.

Ooh. (phone chimes)

Oh.

You all right?

Yeah, fine.

Okay, let's eat.

Wait, I thought tonight was old-school Jane and Michael.

It is. So what would old-school Jane do?

Beg to push dinner for an hour so that I could start reading.

Fine, one hour. (giggles)

Oh, man, a new Angelique Harper!

Let's see what it's about.

Huh, that's weird.

Wait a minute.

What's going on?

Angelique Harper stole my idea.

Just listen! "The harrowing story of a young woman

"who bravely goes undercover

"as a man during the Revolutionary War

and falls for her mysterious commanding officer"?

She just changed the war and the names!

Turns out, she's coming into town for her book tour.

She is? Mm-hmm.

Perfect.

I'm gonna confront her, and I am going to tell her

not only has she invited a major lawsuit,

but she has lost a very loyal fan.

How similar are they? Where's your computer?

What's Alba do with your laptop?

Watching this Venezuelan priest who puts his sermons online.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Pablo? As in Pablo Alonso Segura,

the man Alba lost her virginity to?

Let's translate this.

What?

Nothing.

Uh, so how do I prove plagiarism?

My girl is "plucky and stubborn to a fault."

She calls Clementine "scrappy and bullheaded."

Write everything down, every similarity.

Prohibitive similarities, that's what we're looking for.

Which is tricky, because there's coincidence. There's this case

of Dennis the Menace. Two separate cartoonists...

Shh. I need to get through this.

You know what, I'm gonna call the DA tomorrow

and ask her legal advice.

Jane.

(whispering): It'll be okay.

Yeah.

I just loved that idea.

And I was gonna go back to it.

And now I can't.

¶ ¶

I can't even...

Is she why you've been late to so many meetings?

No. No! Told you.

Jane and I have been getting our signals crossed.

You're hungover. Again.

Oh, Petra, honestly, back off.

Not in the mood.

I'm tired.

PETRA: You're tired?

I'm full-term with twins.

Do you have any idea how rare that is?

I'm a medical freakin' marvel.

I'm just blowing off some steam, I guess,

before I become a father of three.

No, you're not.

No, you're going to that dark place of yours. What?

Yeah, that place, that place you go to.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: In his defense, he had just discovered

his stepmother and his mother were rival crime lords.

Oh, and Jane dumped him.

I just have a lot going on.

Yes, I know.

But all that other stuff, it's out of your control.

And you're about to become a father of three.

So enough with the self-indulgence and grow up.

Yeah.

No, you're right. Really?

Huh, that was easy.

MICHAEL: So it's gonna be hard

but not impossible.

The DA says the first step is establishing

that your material predates Angelique's.

Did you e-mail the chapter to anyone around then,

so we can, you know, establish your timeline?

Yeah, um, Rafael.

Okay, so let's search your sent e-mails.

¶ ¶

(groans)

We don't have to do this right now.

No, it's-it's important.

(chiming)

Okay, so let's search your sent e-mails.

You must have sent it to me, right?

Of course I did, because you read every single draft

of every single thing I do.

Yep, there's my story.

Team Cordero-Villanueva for the win!

(whoops)

Look, at least you found the e-mail.

Okay, shh, shh.

Hi there, Alison?

Yes, it's Olivia, Angelique Harper's assistant.

We met in the city during the holidays.

Anyway, um, I'm doing some bookkeeping,

and I wanted to know if you know what fiscal quarter,

uh, Angelique's first draft of Revolution of the Son came in?

Me?

Olivia... Pope...erson.

What?

Oh, you know what, I can't hear you!

Yeah, I-I think I'm just, like, under a tunnel,

so I'll just call you back!

Okay, you were right.

That was a horrible idea.

Mom. You got to see this.

What?

I was checking my e-mails, I swear.

I didn't mean to see it, but there's this chat

between Mom and some guy. Oh, Mom, don't look at those.

Come on, she was using my computer. Too late. Too late.

"My glorious Alba, how I long to see you, to touch you,

"to kiss you..." Okay, enough, Mom.

"...like I did in 1972 when we made love"?

Oh, my God.

She had sex.

With a guy who wasn't Dad?

Wait, why aren't you freaking out?

Did you know?

Yeah, but she just told me it happened.

She's really embarrassed, so don't say anything.

Mom, I'm serious.

What a hypocrite.

Let it go.

Says the girl who just impersonated

Angelique Harper's assistant.

What? Why don't you let that go?

That's different.

Oh, uh, nothing.

We were actually just, um...

discussing one of Angelique's passages from her book.

And the fact that you had sex before you were married! Seriously?!

No.

No, she read the messages from Pablo.

You lied to me this whole time?

Oh, my God, are you serious?

You're such a hypocrite.

I did not sleep around, Ma!

Do not make me feel like a slut!

You are!

Like you always have!

And I am not!

I am just a normal woman who enjoys having sex.

And you have made me feel like crap about it my entire life!

(crying): And that's why I'm so pissed.

She's right, Abuela.

I'm gonna go make sure that she's okay.

¶ ¶

Hey.

You okay?

Yeah, I just...

I don't know.

It just came out.

You don't have to explain.

Your dad's tweeting again.

Really?

(chuckles)

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Talk about a staycation.

Okay, last photo,

and you'll tweet that you're so sad

that the trip is nearly over.

Perfection.

Well, that's easy.

I am sad.

Because this time has been so special.

That's one way to put it.

And now we must return to reality,

as the couple we are.

If you return. Hmm?

We're at the part of the story that I love so much.

And that's how I feel.

I love you.

¶ ¶

But, see, I don't believe you. What?

It doesn't feel the same, like you love me like that.

But I do. Don't lie to me!

Okay, fine, you're right.

We're not at the part of the story where I'm in love yet.

We're in the part of the story

where Estela realizes there's something holding her back.

You have alienated me from Jane.

She still thinks I'm angry with her.

And you won't let me put her mind at ease.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Bravo, Rogelio!

Daniel Day-Lewis would be proud!

Look, I understand family.

I miss my mother every day.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't killed her.

As a gesture, to improve our relationship, let's reply.

Good. I'll type!

What do you want to say?

(clears throat)

"Dear Jane.

"I'm sorry I haven't reached out.

It's just that I'm having a wonderful vacation..."

"...and service has been spotty.

"But you don't have to apologize.

"It's fine.

"I love you.

And tell your mom, 'besos.'"

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Hmm. Something tells me a besos

is not just a besos, in this case.

And then I usually add four happy-face-heart-eye emojis.

"Besos"?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

(laughing): What do you mean?

It's a sweet message finally.

It's not sweet at all.

Why? LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Yes, why? What is it, Xo?

He used to end his texts to me with "besos"

until I made him stop.

You respond to your creepy Twitter stalkers

and tell them, "Besos"?

Each and every fan is a gift, Xiomara.

Yeah, but you say the same thing to me.

I don't want to be lumped in

with thousands of other stalker fans.

Millions.

And you're right, I will never text "besos" to you again.

You're too special to me.

And now he texts it to me?

What am I supposed to think?

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: "Besos" equals "creepy stalker."

He's obviously being passive-aggressive.

I'm not special anymore.

No, that's not it!

Anyway, I should just stop obsessing about this.

I should just let it go, right?

No! Don't let it go!

Probably.

But I am gonna write him back, okay?

You should. Absolutely.

"I really do feel terrible that I didn't come

"to the Tiago premiere. I should have been there,

"but you have to know how important you are to me,

"and I miss you and love you,

"and as soon as you come back from vacation,

I want to see you."

You're lucky to have her.

I really am.

And I look forward to you two

getting to know each other better.

All right, let's give you your sleeping pill.

LUCA: I'm telling you, he was out of it.

Like, a sloppy drunk mess.

At first I wasn't sure it was Rafael, but it was him.

You positive about that?

Talk or you're fired.

It takes four texts and three phone calls

for you to pick up?

I was almost asleep.

You almost woke up Mateo.

Well, this is important.

Something's up with Rafael.

Petra, that's not my responsibility.

Are you kidding me?

This is Mateo's father.

I know. And I'm worried.

He's been neglecting work lately,

and he's been drinking a lot.

Our server saw him wasted at the Fontainebleau today.

He told me he was with Mateo. Was he?

No. I tried to talk to him,

but I guess I didn't get through.

And... he listens to you.

Please?

MICHAEL: Jane.

(whispering): You okay?

I'll call you back, okay?

But I... I'll call you back.

What's wrong?

That was Petra.

She's worried about Rafael.

He's been off lately

and was totally wasted today at the Fontainebleau.

Look, I'm sorry to bring him up,

it's... it's just, I'm... I'm worried, too.

It... it's not what you think it is. What?

Rafael was there today because he's working with the police.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Let me fill you in.

Remember this?

I just have a lot going on.

Yes, I know.

But all that other stuff, it's out of your control.

Rafael realized it wasn't in fact all out of his control.

There was one thing he could do.

I want to help you find my mother.

You guys are working together.

Yes, but, look, that's obviously privileged.

I didn't want you to go chasing after him.

¶ ¶

I wasn't gonna go chasing after him.

Didn't mean it like that.

I know.

Or maybe I did.

I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm just trying to be honest.

Seeing those e-mails between you two,

it really bothered me.

I know.

You were in love with him.

And I knew that.

But seeing them...

I don't know.

It brought me back to that night.

I can't be with you.

I'm so sorry, Michael.

¶ ¶

I keep telling myself it won't happen again,

but... you know.

Trust me, I wish I could go back and make a different choice.

¶ ¶

(faint, echoed chiming)

¶ ¶

(exhales)

And you don't have, like, a boat sale coming up?

No. Got it.

Okay, let's pull the trigger.

Thank you.

Whew.

$400 for a boat rental?

It's worth it.

Michael keeps going back to that moment,

so I want to redo it.

Make a new memory for us.

The way it should have happened.

Petra?

PETRA: Look, I need your help. Don't worry,

it's not about Rafael. Well, it is, but only peripherally.

He just canceled on me. Hi, Petra.

Oh. Hello, Xiomara.

Cute shorts.

Thank you. Your hair is nice.

Thank you.

(sighs): Anyway, Rafael... was supposed to take me

to my birthing class-- a class he insisted

on signing me up for.

I don't want to go alone and sit there

with all those smug judgy moms staring at me.

Okay, so... are you here to ask me if I'll go with you?

Would you? I don't want to go alone.

Can you watch Mateo?

Okay, let's do it.

JANE: You sure you don't want me to drive?

Nope. Have to keep control of the car.

'Cause we're not going to birthing class, we're going to confront Rafael.

What?

Sorry, I had to get you into the car.

I tracked him down using Find My Phone. He's at The W.

Yeah, probably meeting, like, a work contact for happy hour.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Or a person of interest

for the police for happy hour.

Oh, my God! Stop being so naive, Jane!

This is serious! Look, he listens to you,

so we're going to confront him together.

Do something, Jane!

Or Petra's gonna blow this investigation wide open!

LOLA: Freeze! Don't move.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Wow, that generic drugstore tan-in-a-box

isn't doing you any favors, buddy.

Bless you, Lola-- I feel

so much better now.

You're so thoughtful.

¶ ¶

Tell me, when we emerge as a couple,

do you prefer...

Rola...

or Logelio?

Let's think about it tonight.

After a special dinner.

Sure.

And it's special... why, exactly?

Because there's a full moon.

Don't you remember?

Cesar and Estela

ate dinner and then they finally made love...

in the light of the full moon.

(chuckles weakly) PETRA: What?!

Rafael's working with the police?

Well, you could've told me this an hour ago.

Have you got any idea how hard it is

to drive this pregnant? Seriously?

You practically kidnapped me!

Whatever. Let's go.

MAN (on radio): Join me in welcoming

best-selling romance novelist

Angelique Harper. Ugh!

What? I thought you loved her.

Didn't... Rafael,

like, propose or something during a reading?

Yeah. But after,

well...

I went to her room with my chapter,

she mistook me for a masseuse,

I gave her a 90-minute massage, and then I gave her my chapter,

and then she stole my idea.

You gave her a massage?

Did you not hear me? She stole my idea.

She did.

It's always so interesting to hear what inspires an artist.

How did Revolution of the Son come about?

ANGELIQUE: You know, it's funny. I was getting a massage,

and I was... so relaxed,

the idea just sprang from my head fully formed.

Not unlike Athena,

from the head of Zeus. Oh, my God,

she stole your idea!

I told you!

I'm just trying to let it go.

Let it go? What is wrong with you?

No, we can't let her get away with this.

Where's that book signing? We're gonna get her to admit it.

You want to help me?

Okay, don't make it into a thing, all right?

I'm overdue with twins and looking to yell at someone.

(tires squealing)

JANE: This could take hours. PETRA: All right.

Excuse me, pardon me. Hi. I'm sorry, I'm pregnant.

Do you mind if I just kind of squeeze through?

I really appreciate it. Excuse me, pardon me. Could I...

No. Oh.

Yeah, never mind. We'll wait.

You need some prep time, anyway.

So, what are you gonna say to Angelique?

Trust me, I've been rehearsing this.

I'm gonna say, "Do you remember me?

You stole my idea. I left a chapter with you."

And I threw it away-- I don't accept unsolicited materials.

What are you doing?

Toughening you up. I'm sure any similarity

was coincidental.

Coincidental? It's the same idea.

Security, take her away. Okay, stop. Enough. You made your point.

What do you suggest I say?

I have a confession.

A confession?

So early in the day?

Well, it must be the tequila.

It wasn't totally random...

our meeting.

I'm trying to find my brother.

His name's Derek.

What? Hold on. Wait, wait.

Look, I just need to talk to him, okay?

He's my brother.

Stay away from me. All of you.

Hi, Angelique. I'm here because the plot of your book

was stolen from a chapter that I gave you,

and I've had a committee of independent authors

review the works side by side, and my legal team seems to think

I have a pretty strong case.

So I'm here to tell you

that a formal complaint is forthcoming. All right. Better.

Yeah, right? Yeah. But you need

to drop your voice another octave.

And never lose eye contact.

Calm.

Quiet.

It's always much scarier.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: It really is.

Got it. On it. Good.

You're welcome.

Oh, my God. Oh!

Sorry. I feel like I'm peeing my pants.

(groans) The babies must be right on my bladder. Really?

Are you sure that your water just didn't break?

What? I don't know. You're the one who had a baby.

My water didn't break. It's-it's rare, actually.

That's true. My sister's did.

It's not a big splash like they show on TV.

Does it feel like you're peeing?

Yep. Just feels like you're peeing.

Oh, my God, I feel like I'm peeing!

Okay, all right, stay calm. We're gonna go to the hospital.

You're up, miss. Oh...

PETRA: Go. I'm calling an Uber.

I'd be lying if I said Jane didn't

briefly consider it.

No, no, come on, come on.

Step aside, people, she's having a baby!

Two babies!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Oh, boy!

Looks like we're doing this again!

Where is he? Michael's getting him, Rafael's gonna be here.

No, not Rafael, the doctor with the drugs, I need the drugs.

Oh, good. Uh, she is ready for her epidural.

So, here's the thing. You can't have one, Petra. What?

Your blood tests indicate that your platelet levels

are too low, it's too risky,

you could bleed too much.

Any wiggle room there?

Excuse me?

Look, if there's a 50% chance I won't die,

I'd like to go for it.

She's kidding. No, I'm not kidding.

Petra, you can do this. She can do this.

RAFAEL: Hurry!

Multi-car accident up ahead,

fire, the works.

The highway's down to one lane.

Yeah.

Oh, no, it's coming back.

Oh, oh, oh, oh... oh...

Okay, breathe. Breathe...

Oh, shut up, that's not working!

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Is it me or is labor making Petra meaner?

Don't clench, you gotta let go.

Distract me!

Um, okay... Quick!

Uh, uh, uh...

Michael and I are having issues.

Did you ever see that movie Sliding Doors?

Hated it. Anyway, I just keep thinking

about how I screwed things up

and how I wish I could just take it back.

That's so stupid. What?

Well, clearly things weren't that great,

or you wouldn't have broken up.

Let the past go...

(laughs) Says the woman

who artificially inseminated herself with her ex's sperm.

Trust me, I'm regretting that now.

(chuckles)

(snorts, exhales)

Also full of regrets?

(sighs)

(sighs)

Thanks, Ma.

Here's how you can make it up to me.

You can tell me about Pablo.

I'm serious.

I want details.

What did he look like?

Huh? (laughs)

JANE: "Sexy, strong,

"like the man she knew all those years ago,

out on the battlefield." (wailing)

Keep reading! Oh. "She-she

"couldn't be sure it was him, but it was. They spoke.

"'Oh!' her father said. (shouts)

"The pain was unbearable. It was the kind of pain

that tore through her." (shouting)

Breathe, Petra, (moaning)

breathe.

(exhales)

"It was him. He looked at her

and her breath caught, just like always..."

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: And a funny thing happened as she read from her novel:

Jane realized her book and Angelique's

weren't actually that similar.

Well, except for the cross-dressing premise,

but, really, Jane had ripped that off of Twelfth Night.

And Shakespeare had based his on some Italian play and...

What's wrong with you? Keep reading!

"Mauricio's skin was glistening a little. Sweaty."

LOLA: Looks like you finished dinner.

Do they really make love right after?

Because I get a little bloaty after dinner.

To true love.

And all the different ways it grabs you.

Okay.

Get ready.

(groans)

Are you all right?

Just got a little tired.

Let's cuddle up then. Here, lay down.

Okay. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Just for a minute. All right.

Okay, so here's what happened.

Remember this?

Let's give you your sleeping pill.

Rogelio considers

his oily T-zone to be his one facial flaw.

And so he had the costumer of Tiago

sew a special pocket in his underwear where he could stash

a secret supply of pressed powder.

A little powder panty pocket.

And he stored the pill in there.

And from there, he slipped it into her drink.

Hurry, Rogelio.

Just find the keys and get out of there!

(moaning) Okay, here we go.

I'm gonna need you to push.

Where's Rafael?

Uh, he's hurrying.

I'm not gonna make it, am I?

I don't think so.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

(Petra shouts)

Come on, Petra, push.

I can't. I can't anymore.

And so Jane said the words her grandmother said to her mother

and her mother said to her...

Five minutes of pain for a lifetime of happiness.

It's time, Petra. Push again.

No, I'm done. I can't. I'm gonna need you to push.

No, I can't. Are you serious? After all that talk in the line

at the bookstore about being tough?

(moaning)

Suck it up

and push those babies out.

(whimpers)

(breathing rapidly)

(grunting, shouting)

(baby crying)

Here she is. A little girl.

(panting) She's beautiful.

(laughs)

Oh, okay. Yes.

Okay. Ready to go again.

Huh? Yeah. Yeah.

(panting)

Come on.

(panting)

(grunting, shouting)

(baby crying)

(panting)

(laughs)

(panting)

Is it over?

It's over.

You did it. (sobs)

You did it.

(crying)

I'm sorry I called you all those horrible names.

You didn't.

Oh, I-I did. Trust me.

It was just in Czech.

Thank you, though.

Of course.

Hey, do you want to know their names?

Rafael and I already decided.

Elsa.

And Anna.

(laughs) Wait...

What?

E-Elsa and Anna?

Like in Frozen?

What do you mean?

That's the names of the sisters.

In Frozen.

The movie?

Oh. (scoffs)

Well, no one except for you would think of that.

LATIN LOVER NARRATOR: Let it go, Jane.

Nice names.

Just beautiful.

Oh, I missed it. Oh.

I can't believe I missed it. How are you?

I'm okay.

She was a warrior.

(chuckles) Here.

That's Elsa. Oh.

Hi. Hi, Elsa.

Hi, Anna.

Oh,

wow. They're beautiful.

They are, right? It's not just me?

(sneezes, cries) No.

(chuckles) No, they're perfect.

They're so perfect.

Oh, yeah! (laughs)

I'm starving. Salt and vinegar.

You rock. Wow. Easy to please.

And to think, I rented a boat.

I wanted to go back and redo the moment when things went wrong,

when I made the wrong choice. Oh,

I sh... I shouldn't have brought that up. No.

No, it's okay. Because, um,

I realized...

I don't want to go back.

I mean, there was a lot of stuff wrong in our relationship.

I mean, you weren't being honest about who you were.

I wasn't being honest about what I wanted in life.

And that's why we broke up.

Are you breaking up with me now?

Never. No.

I'm just saying I don't want to go back.

Because we're better now.

Yeah. And I want you to know

that you are absolutely who I want.

And I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not either.

Oh. (gasps)

I wasn't gonna do this here, but, Jane...

Yes! Yes! Okay! Wait, wait. Can I ask?

Okay, get ready. Okay, Jane. Will you... Yes. Sorry. Yes.

Sorry, sorry, sorry! Will you... will you marry me?

Will you marry me? Yes! Yes!

Ah, true love.

The kind Angelique Harper might write about.

Were this a romance novel.

But, of course, it's not.

I thought you'd be excited.

Yep. And he's coming.

Xiomara.

Ocean view, perfect.

And how long will you be staying for?

Not sure.

(grunting) (rattling)

I knew it. You were lying to me.

Please, Lola. Don't make me do it. Please stop or I'll shoot!

You would've shot me?

No.

I knew it was a fake.