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1
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:09,920
So far on my north to south tour
2
00:00:09,960 --> 00:00:13,079
as ambassador
for Anglo-Japanese relations...
3
00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,400
Yes, we are completely naked.
4
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,000
I've been mocked by Misayo...
5
00:00:17,040 --> 00:00:20,040
What are you doing?
It's terrible.
6
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:22,280
Gunned down by Maki...
7
00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:23,920
I'm coming to shoot you.
8
00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,120
Yeah!
9
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,400
And then there was Yujiro.
10
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,720
Welcome to the land
of the Rising Penis.
11
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,040
You can adjust to-to clean
12
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:34,320
- your ass or your...
- Yes.
13
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:35,720
Can I call you master?
14
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:37,840
- Master James?
- Well, it's a bit weird.
15
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,920
This time, this:
16
00:00:47,800 --> 00:00:49,480
Ah! Yes, it is.
17
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,520
RoBoHon, tell me
something interesting.
18
00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:54,520
No.
19
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:16,200
In a bid to escape
my Tokyo guide, Yujiro,
20
00:01:16,280 --> 00:01:19,680
I've taken to the open road,
and I'm currently somewhere
21
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:21,376
in between the bright lights
of the capital
22
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:25,560
and Japan's
spiritual heartland, Kyoto.
23
00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,440
And to complement my deeply
on-trend brown leather jacket,
24
00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,040
I'm astride nearly
200 horsepower
25
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:37,600
of Kawasaki ZZR1400. Phwoar!
26
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:42,760
The significance
of the motorcycle
27
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,280
in the story of modern Japan
is fully explained
28
00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:49,040
in my other documentary series,
James May's Cars of the People,
29
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,120
also available on Amazon Prime,
along with streaming music,
30
00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:53,680
next-day delivery and more,
31
00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:57,320
but, in short,
the Japanese motorcycle
32
00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,080
is the story of Japan's
reindustrialization
33
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,480
in the '50s and '60s.
34
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:04,280
The Japanese motorcycle
became an ambassador
35
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,040
for the country's excellence
all around the world.
36
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:09,720
More to the point,
if you've got a bike,
37
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:12,560
you've also got some mates.
38
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:19,440
Here's my gang.
39
00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,080
Harley-Davidson?
40
00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,720
You don't want to ride
a Japanese bike?
41
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,240
I was thinking maybe we could go
42
00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,360
and see Mount Fuji.
43
00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,600
Okay. Let's saddle up.
That's it.
44
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:48,560
Whether you're
ripping up Route 66
45
00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,520
or tearing down the A22
to Eastbourne,
46
00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:54,640
the axioms of the modern
biker gang are universal.
47
00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,440
We want to be free,
free to do what we want to do.
48
00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,520
Free to burn
ethically-sourced rubber.
49
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,760
So long as we have
adequate lubrication,
50
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,920
regular comfort brakes,
and third-party fire and theft.
51
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,680
And that's what we're gonna do.
52
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,560
I hope the people of rural
Japan are suitably worried
53
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,400
because JM-usans Fugu-fish
mad bike gang is out
54
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,760
and soon we're gonna stop
and have some noodles.
55
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,600
Not that long ago,
56
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,240
a lot of motorcyclists in Japan
were effectively outlaws.
57
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,600
They had a terrible problem
with biker gangs
58
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:44,640
who just used
to terrorize the place,
59
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,600
but now it's become
a rather polite weekend hobby.
60
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:51,400
Sort of spoils it in a way.
61
00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:53,640
It's not bad anymore.
62
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,600
I mean, we're actually
obeying the speed limit
63
00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:57,640
and we're not crossing
the orange line.
64
00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,440
I mean, what's happened to us?
65
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,760
Still, let's not worry
about that for the moment.
66
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:05,480
Let's relax and head towards
the sacred mountain.
67
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:11,480
Ah, there it is.
68
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:15,280
One of Japan's
most iconic emblems,
69
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,320
Mount Fuji is technically
an active stratovolcano
70
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,640
for the geologically-minded
among you.
71
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,440
Fuji-san,
as the Japanese call it,
72
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:27,359
has inspired countless artists
and poets over the centuries.
73
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,920
And I can see why.
74
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,640
This is actually a completely
Japanese experience, isn't it?
75
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,239
Ancient and modern.
76
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:39,240
Motorcycle underneath me,
77
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,720
Mount Fuji in the background.
78
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,040
And in another totally
Japanese experience,
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00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:48,640
because they're too polite
to tell me
80
00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:50,120
I'm cramping their style,
81
00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:53,320
the bikers quietly
and civilly bugger off.
82
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,040
Rubbish.
83
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,120
I don't know how many
photographs of Fuji
84
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,480
have ever been taken,
but it must be millions,
85
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:23,560
maybe hundreds of millions,
and in accordance with the rule
86
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,799
that says 97% of everything
is rubbish,
87
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,240
97% of them are rubbish.
88
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,920
There is my effort, you see.
Absolutely terrible.
89
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,480
In fact, the crew... they're
professionals, remember...
90
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:35,880
Have been doing this
all morning.
91
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,760
Here is a small gallery
of their efforts.
92
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,280
Okay, rubbish, rubbish.
93
00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,240
Blurry cherry blossom.
94
00:05:44,280 --> 00:05:46,280
Got power lines in it.
There, look.
95
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:48,920
Not even got
the whole mountain in.
96
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,200
That's got my face in.
97
00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,160
Oh, that's something
completely different.
98
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,416
Yes, they're all rubbish,
and that's the problem, you see.
99
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,320
If you take
a photograph of Fuji,
100
00:05:58,360 --> 00:06:00,840
you're taking a photograph...
A record, if you like,
101
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,096
of what it looks like, but
that's not actually the point.
102
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:04,760
The point of Fuji
to the Japanese
103
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:07,160
is not what it looks like...
It's basically a triangle...
104
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,760
It's what it means.
105
00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,560
And to depict
what it actually means,
106
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:11,920
you don't want a photograph,
107
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,200
you want something
more "interpretative."
108
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,920
You need an artist.
109
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,840
I wonder if there
is one around here.
110
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:21,720
Christ, yes, there's one.
111
00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:31,920
- This is Takayoshi Sakaria-san.
- Yes.
112
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,040
Uh, he is an artist.
He's been living here
113
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,560
and painting Fuji
for over 50 years
114
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,600
in search of... the truth,
I suppose.
115
00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,920
And, in a scene
we shot earlier, here he is,
116
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,040
painting the truth as he
has done every single day
117
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,160
for the last 50 years.
118
00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,800
That's quite an extensive,
albeit niche, back catalogue.
119
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,480
I think I'm about
to get a lesson
120
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,240
because I've noticed
there are two easels.
121
00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,400
The slope... top of Fuji
is about there.
122
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,240
If nothing else,
it makes you look.
123
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:25,800
Can you tell me, Sakaria-san...
124
00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,080
- Hai?
- what is the meaning
you're trying to find?
125
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,456
What is important
about the mountain?
126
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,520
Most people would say,
"Well, it's just a mountain."
127
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:10,160
Mine looks absolute rubbish.
128
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:12,000
Why does his
look better than mine?
129
00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,640
It's annoying.
130
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:16,840
I think it's because he's, like,
an artist and I'm not.
131
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,200
I've now been painting
for about...
132
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,880
three quarters of an hour,
133
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:27,416
and if you thought
my photograph was bad,
134
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,000
wait till you see this.
135
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,640
It's pretty shocking,
but I have found, um, a haiku,
136
00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,040
an Issa haiku, which is sort of
appropriate for the moment.
137
00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,360
I'm gonna try it in Japanese
on my host and see.
138
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,880
Uh, Sakaria-san.
139
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,320
- Yes?
- Um...
140
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,759
Good?
141
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,639
Which could be interpreted
in all sorts of ways,
142
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,240
but especially with regards
143
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,639
to my painting, I have climbed
the mountain of trying
144
00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,040
to depict the meaning of Fuji,
not the literal mountain,
145
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,760
it definitely doesn't do that.
146
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:04,720
Should we have a reveal?
147
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,240
I'll say it now,
sumimasen, there it is.
148
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:14,320
I would actually
give up everything
149
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,240
I imagine that I can do,
like playing the piano
150
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,639
or making things out of wood
or reassembling lawn mowers
151
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,480
or whatever,
just to be good at that.
152
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:23,360
Yours has life.
153
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,639
That is life
and that means that's truth,
154
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,280
and that's precious.
155
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,759
And if I could do that, I would
stop doing everything else
156
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:31,440
and just record
the rest of my life,
157
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,120
not even in words,
just in little images
158
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,720
that I'd then give away
to people,
159
00:09:34,760 --> 00:09:36,320
and then die.
160
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,080
I'd be very happy with that.
161
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:42,759
What?
162
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,080
Well, buses are part of life,
but what we're doing here
163
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,759
is cutting through all that
and saying, "Here is Fuji,
164
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:51,200
the soul of Japan." We think
it's a mountain, it's not.
165
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,760
It's merely a manifestation
of what this country means,
166
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:56,520
and we're trying to get...
We will never do it,
167
00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:58,040
but we may get close.
168
00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,520
We can aim for it,
and aiming for it is a cleansing
169
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:05,040
and soul-satisfying experience,
except in my case.
170
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:06,639
There was still a bus
in the back of the shot, though.
171
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,096
Yeah, but I don't care
if there's a bus in the back.
172
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,759
A bus is a part of life, that's
what we're fighting against.
173
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:13,176
I'll put it you this way, if we
turn this around the other way,
174
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:15,440
and I was painting a picture
of the bus going past,
175
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:17,136
would you say,
"Oh, well, that's all right,
176
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,200
but there's a big mountain
in the back of shot?"
177
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,480
Well, put it this way,
we're creating our own work,
178
00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,759
while you are creating
your own work at the same time.
179
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,639
Yes, but this is art,
that's photography...
180
00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,639
No disrespect... but that's
a record of what's happening.
181
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,880
This is an interpretation of
what is being felt in our hearts
182
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,400
and what it all means.
183
00:10:36,440 --> 00:10:38,879
Yes, but to me this film
doesn't mean a big Chinese bus.
184
00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:40,280
It's you communing with nature
185
00:10:40,320 --> 00:10:42,016
and trying to decipher
the mysteries of Japan.
186
00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:44,000
I know, but art
would have no meaning
187
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,600
if it didn't exist
in the real world.
188
00:10:45,640 --> 00:10:47,000
If the world
was only full of art,
189
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,320
it would merely be the world.
190
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,040
That's the world, the bus;
this is art.
191
00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,280
It can only exist next to it.
192
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:56,320
Yes, but, in which case, why not
just paint a picture of a bus?
193
00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:57,880
I'm having an artistic tantrum.
194
00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:00,200
I've had enough of this.
195
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,040
You can take a photograph
of the bus.
196
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:03,680
It's a, it's a
manufactured artifact,
197
00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:06,000
it's an elaborate photocopy
of an original,
198
00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,680
that's what
mass-produced items are.
199
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:11,800
Yeah, ramen?
200
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,080
I appreciate that you,
the viewers,
201
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,760
don't particularly want to
watch me having a big argument
202
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,640
with the crew
about the meaning of art,
203
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,920
but it is a bit annoying
when something has to stop,
204
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,600
you know,
in the heat of the moment
205
00:11:27,640 --> 00:11:29,760
because "there's a bus in shot."
206
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,960
Yes?
207
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,160
But what... I mean,
208
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,600
did you particularly want
the rocks in the film?
209
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,920
Nobody ever sits down and
watches a series on the telly
210
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,240
and says, "That was great,
there were no buses in it."
211
00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:52,760
No. Leave it in.
212
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,200
Yes. I quit.
213
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:03,920
After a tense lunch
during which the word "art"
214
00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:05,920
was mentioned nine more times,
215
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,120
and I was gently reminded
of my contractual obligation
216
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,520
to finish the series,
217
00:12:09,560 --> 00:12:11,720
we called a truce long enough
218
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:13,240
to travel
to the next location...
219
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,080
which is Hamamatsu.
220
00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:23,160
Hamamatsu is famously
the home of
221
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,880
Yamaha, who you will know
as manufacturers
222
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,920
of the Hari Kari 750 motorcycle,
but actually,
223
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:31,920
Yamaha began life
in the late 19th century
224
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,280
as a maker
of musical instruments.
225
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:37,040
It still is a maker
of musical instruments...
226
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,640
The world's biggest, in fact...
So today,
227
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:43,120
we are off to watch
pianos being made.
228
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,240
And it is odd to think
that a company
229
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,560
that makes motorcycles
actually originally
230
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,240
made musical instruments.
231
00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:53,280
You can see why
the technologies are related.
232
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:55,080
There's a lot of
metalworking involved,
233
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,200
a lot of precision,
but, I mean, can you imagine
234
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,640
if British Leyland
had made a trombone?
235
00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:03,440
It would have been awful,
wouldn't it?
236
00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:14,320
Almost as awful as if Yamaha
branched out into menswear,
237
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,760
like the jacket
you're about to see.
238
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,520
This is actually the biggest
grand piano factory
239
00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,880
- in the world, and produces
something like this...
240
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,320
every 15 minutes, which
I find quite incredible,
241
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:28,920
because I know where
all the cars go...
242
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,440
Cars are always being
thrown away...
243
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,120
But a piano is,
it's not for life.
244
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,440
It's usually for
several lifetimes.
245
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:37,000
But anyway, I'm going to meet
a Mr. Suzuki.
246
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:39,360
Confusingly,
he works for Yamaha,
247
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,920
and he drives a Honda.
248
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,200
- A Mazda? Oh...
- Mazda.
249
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,920
Sorry, that was wrong.
250
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,040
He... Mr. Suzuki drives a Mazda,
not a Honda.
251
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,920
Um, anyway, let's start
with a few basics.
252
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,480
This is the iron frame.
253
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:10,680
This is cast just over the road
in Yamaha's own foundry.
254
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:12,600
This is why pianos are so heavy.
255
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:15,480
I reckon that weighs,
at a guess,
256
00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:17,600
about 129 kilograms.
257
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,920
The cases of the pianos are also
made in a separate factory.
258
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,280
What we're looking at here
is final assembly.
259
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,360
This is where all the bits
become an instrument
260
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:27,480
and gain a soul.
261
00:14:27,520 --> 00:14:30,480
And the employees gain
vanilla shell suits.
262
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,080
Lucky them.
263
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,640
This is a classic example
of what the Japanese do best.
264
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:40,320
Perfectly formed, finely tuned
265
00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:43,160
traditional
yet modern instruments.
266
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,240
Here are robots driving
the tuning pins
267
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,360
into the pin block.
268
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:49,360
That has to be done
very, very accurately,
269
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,280
and why not use a machine tool?
270
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:53,760
It's how Japan
reindustrialized itself.
271
00:14:55,240 --> 00:14:57,120
But there are some jobs
too precious
272
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,920
to entrust to robots.
273
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,680
So this is stringing.
Could I try this?
274
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,200
- It's Elton John's piano?
- Yes.
275
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,280
Is it really?
276
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:14,320
I think that's Japanese for
277
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,736
"We have a piano
that doesn't really matter"
278
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,160
that I can have a go on.
279
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,160
Let's put some strings on.
280
00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:31,800
Before I can have a bash myself,
281
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:35,320
I must be formally educated
by Yamaha's Sultan of String,
282
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:37,240
Mr. Ogi.
283
00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:38,640
Doku Ogi-san.
284
00:15:41,480 --> 00:15:43,520
I don't...
285
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,080
I don't want you
to poison Mr. Ogi. Ogi...
286
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,440
Okay.
287
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,640
While Mr. Suzuki goes
to find Mr. Ogi,
288
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,040
I feel a movement coming on.
289
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:00,840
I'm going to play Chopin's
"Revolutionary Etude".
290
00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:21,920
That is... That is roughly the
"Revolutionary Etude" isn't it?
291
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,920
Following this well-received
292
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,560
but entirely imaginary
intermezzo,
293
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,560
Mr. Ogi appears,
alive and well.
294
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,920
But first, I need protection.
295
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,280
Three layers, in fact.
296
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:45,920
This is to stop me touching
297
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,280
the strings, et cetera,
with my filthy,
298
00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,480
oily layman's fingers.
299
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,160
Moisture is the enemy
of these tempered,
300
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:56,240
high-carbon steel strings,
one of the many reasons
301
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:57,920
you shouldn't play the piano
in the bath.
302
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,840
And this is where the Japanese
obsession with detail
303
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,520
really comes into play.
304
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:06,360
The string is just appearing
on the other side of the peg.
305
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,680
And now we need shi
clockwise turns.
306
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:11,920
I am in hands-on heaven.
307
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:15,000
Every single one
of the 230 strings
308
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:18,400
must be hooked over hitch pins
at the thin end of the piano,
309
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,760
and then tightly
and immaculately coiled
310
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,559
around tuning pins
at the business end.
311
00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,520
And it's this painstakingly
pedantic process
312
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:30,079
that will create pitch-perfect
tension and timbre.
313
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,680
That's what they should
look like,
314
00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,680
but that's what mine look like.
315
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,080
I mean, they're tight,
but they're a bit messy.
316
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:40,480
What does Mr. Ogi think?
317
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,080
Something tells me my enjoyment
of the well-tempered clavier
318
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,520
might lead to
a bad-tempered crew.
319
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,720
Much as the director's
going to hate this,
320
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,160
I'm going to do it again.
321
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,000
Sorry, we just don't...
We don't have time.
322
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:53,176
Well, you've just been
buggering about
323
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,520
with the camera
for half an hour.
324
00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,136
Yes, I'm afraid we've got
to move on to the next scene.
325
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,320
We can't do this again.
326
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:00,760
I will not be able to sleep
if I don't do it properly.
327
00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,760
That's about a half.
328
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,040
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
329
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,080
Okay, that's better.
330
00:18:12,480 --> 00:18:13,640
Ni.
331
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,520
Okay, hidari, migi.
332
00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,040
I know what they're doing.
333
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,440
Migi hidari.
334
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:29,920
Yes?
335
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:41,400
You rotten bastards.
336
00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:47,680
Just so you know,
that one's much better.
337
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:50,880
Having strung out the piano
stringing scene for so long,
338
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,400
the director only had
five minutes to shoot
339
00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:55,960
the rest of the
piano creation process.
340
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:03,200
How exciting is that?
341
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,160
That's like the reverse
of a crematorium.
342
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,560
A piano is born.
343
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,560
It's a baby grand.
344
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,920
And, remarkably,
345
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:21,000
Yamaha has one piano that
Elton John hasn't reserved.
346
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,559
This is actually going
to make me very melancholy
347
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:31,720
because I was quite good
at this 30 years ago,
348
00:19:31,760 --> 00:19:34,160
when I was young and optimistic,
349
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,320
and I thought it would make me
more interesting to girls.
350
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,680
And then I stopped playing
the piano,
351
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:42,680
and I put my piano into storage.
352
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,319
And then the next thing I knew,
I was a very old man,
353
00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:47,920
and girls didn't
find me interesting.
354
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:51,520
But I have recently
started attempting
355
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,560
to relearn the piano.
356
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:56,480
Um... and I've been working
on a few things,
357
00:19:56,520 --> 00:19:58,280
like this Beethoven sonata.
358
00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,320
This is Number 32,
uh, the C minor.
359
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,760
It's one of
the most complicated.
360
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,400
I can't play it all
by any means,
361
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,320
but I have started to learn it,
so I'll play a bit for you
362
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:11,240
from the beginning.
363
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,496
By the end of the week,
I think I'll probably be
364
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,800
at the bottom of the first page.
365
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:31,480
First it was painting,
then it was music.
366
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,560
With artistic differences
still creating tension,
367
00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:36,760
the crew attempt
to restore some harmony
368
00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,520
by offering me an olive branch.
369
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,880
Japan update.
Subject: massage.
370
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,400
I have a bad back.
371
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,720
I've had it for
several days now.
372
00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,319
But I've been told
it can be sorted out
373
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,319
with a proper Japanese massage.
374
00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:51,760
Now, you do have
to be quite careful
375
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:53,240
with this sort of thing,
obviously,
376
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:57,400
but this is a pucker
Japanese massage...
377
00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,560
I'm not gonna say "parlor."
378
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,320
Let's say "institution."
379
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:03,560
It's licensed, and I'm going to
have something called Ashiatsu,
380
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,920
a form of foot massage.
381
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:10,560
Presumably administered
by a waif-like geisha.
382
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,680
Face down, please.
383
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,000
- Face down?
- Face down.
384
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,520
I thought it was a foot massage.
385
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,880
Are you doing it?
386
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,880
Face down?
387
00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:51,320
So hang on, what's he actually
gonna do to me?
388
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,520
Oh, Jesus, this is agony.
389
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,600
God, his hands are hard.
390
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,680
Oh, hang on, is that his foot?
391
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,600
Well, that's my leg.
It's meant to be fairly rigid.
392
00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:19,800
Ow! Ow! Actually...
393
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:21,560
something went "clunk" then.
394
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,920
I think that was just
my hip dislocating.
395
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:29,200
Is this really supposed
to do me some good...
396
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:31,200
Aah!
397
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:35,280
He's actually kicking me
in the ass now.
398
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,336
I just want to make this
absolutely clear
399
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:41,520
for the viewers,
400
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:44,360
the director and the crew said,
401
00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,440
"We know you've got a bad back,
402
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:48,360
"we've arranged
a foot massage for you
403
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,760
because it'll sort it out."
404
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,680
So I thought somebody,
like reflexology,
405
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,520
would press on the bit
of my foot
406
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,600
that corresponds with my back.
407
00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,320
Oh, Jesus Christ almighty.
408
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,800
Could you tell him
I've got very delicate knees?
409
00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,640
Oh, hang on, I've got
very delicate bollocks as well.
410
00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:11,920
You know how a lot of people
go for massages regularly,
411
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:15,760
and somebody sort of rubs you
and puts a CD of whale music on
412
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,360
and puts some smelly oil
in a burner thing,
413
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:22,120
and it's really nice.
This is none of those things.
414
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:24,320
He hasn't even
dimmed the lights.
415
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,160
Oh, God.
416
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:35,160
Yeah, yes, it is! Ah!
417
00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,760
Now just to be
absolutely clear, viewers,
418
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,680
that whole foot massage
419
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:48,160
debacle was an elaborate trick
by the film crew,
420
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:49,760
not something of my choosing.
421
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:53,560
Although, I have to say,
this is the next morning,
422
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:55,520
it has done me some good.
423
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,120
I'm about half an inch taller
424
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:00,520
because my spine is snapped.
425
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,840
Next, I'm taking
my extra half inch to Kyoto.
426
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,400
In contrast to other
major Japanese cities,
427
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,360
this former capital
was largely spared
428
00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:17,760
from American bombing
during World War II.
429
00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,080
As a result,
you can't walk five paces
430
00:24:22,120 --> 00:24:24,920
without tripping over
ancient temples
431
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,760
and hallowed shrines.
432
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,800
So where better to experience
some high-class
433
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,440
Japanese entertainment?
434
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,400
I'm now off to spend
several very pleasant hours
435
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:39,200
being entertained by a geisha,
436
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,601
and before you
jump to conclusions,
437
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,720
that's not what you think.
438
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,160
There is a rather
bad misconception in the West
439
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,400
about geishas, which is that
they are some sort of
440
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,200
high-class call girl,
441
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:51,720
but nothing can be further
from the truth, to be honest.
442
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,200
The word "geisha"
comes from two kanji symbols
443
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,920
that mean "art" and "performer."
444
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:02,720
You go to see a geisha because
you wish to be entertained.
445
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,520
That's all there is to it.
446
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,360
I am going to
447
00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:09,920
a music and dance event
with tea.
448
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,800
Sounds perfect.
I might take some biscuits.
449
00:25:20,600 --> 00:25:23,040
Geishas like Tomitsuya here
450
00:25:23,080 --> 00:25:24,600
have been Japan's
top entertainers
451
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:26,600
since the 17th century.
452
00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:30,320
And I must say, she looks
pretty good for a 400-year-old.
453
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:37,520
And as I sit here
in considerable discomfort
454
00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,120
during the traditional
tea ceremony,
455
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,600
I wonder if this longevity
is something to do
456
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,040
with how long it takes
to make a cuppa.
457
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,480
And bow.
458
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,840
- Oh, bow.
- Thank you.
459
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,760
And pick up your bowl
with right hand,
460
00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,760
and please start drinking. Yes.
461
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:59,120
That's quite nice.
462
00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:01,080
Are you going to drink it
as well?
463
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,160
- No.
- Why is that?
464
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:05,640
Because I am the host
of tea ceremony,
465
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:07,680
and you are the guest.
466
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:09,800
Um.
467
00:26:09,840 --> 00:26:12,880
Perhaps now's not the time
for an Anglo-Japanese
468
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:14,080
teatime culture swap.
469
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,240
Get rid of those.
470
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,160
Next on the bill: dance.
471
00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:32,920
Traditional Japanese dances
472
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,920
enact the meaning
of the lyrics in the song,
473
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,920
which are usually based
on the seasons.
474
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,880
This little number is called
"Spring Rain,"
475
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,120
during which the fan
is used to symbolize
476
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:47,120
many different things,
such as an umbrella, a mirror,
477
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:50,000
or the tail section of
a Boeing-Stearman crop duster.
478
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,840
Fantastic.
479
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,440
Next, apparently, it's music.
This is excellent, really.
480
00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,761
It's like Wednesday afternoons
at school when I was a lad.
481
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,760
You did a bit of this,
a bit of that.
482
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,440
To become a geisha,
you must master
483
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:22,920
many different art forms,
484
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,600
including making polite
and witty conversation,
485
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,400
calligraphy
and underwater arc welding.
486
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,160
Did you like the song?
487
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,160
Thank you.
488
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:40,440
- That's a shamisen.
- It's like a cross between
489
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,360
a lute and a banjo,
but only has three strings.
490
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:45,160
- Made out of silk.
- Silk?
491
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:49,880
Silk. And skin is kitten.
492
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,360
Not seriously?
493
00:27:51,400 --> 00:27:54,920
It is from cat.
494
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:56,720
I like cats.
495
00:27:56,760 --> 00:27:58,480
Me, too.
496
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,680
- But you make musical
instruments out of them.
- Aww...
497
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,880
- It goes here...
- And this used to be a cat?
498
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,360
The shamisen has its origins
in China,
499
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,160
but rose to popularity in Japan
about 500 years ago,
500
00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,800
coincidentally around the time
people's pets
501
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,280
started disappearing.
502
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,760
Is this rubbish?
503
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,960
You are much better
than when I started.
504
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:28,840
I'm very honest.
505
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,480
- I enjoyed that, thank you.
- Thank you.
506
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,480
Thank you very much.
507
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,200
It's been a very nice afternoon.
508
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:38,560
- Very cultural.
- Thank you.
509
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:39,920
It's exactly what
I came here for.
510
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,320
Arigato gozaimasu.
511
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:46,920
As a parting gift,
Tomitsuya gave me a CD
512
00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,920
of her greatest hits
for the onward journey.
513
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,440
I may have made
the translation up.
514
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:09,920
I was actually thinking
for a moment
515
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,120
that maybe I should learn
to play the shamisen,
516
00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,440
but I don't want to play
a musical instrument
517
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,440
made out of a cat,
because I like cats,
518
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:18,040
and Sean on camera says,
519
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,240
"Well, when your cat dies,
why not have it made into
520
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:21,976
something useful like
a musical instrument?"
521
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:25,320
But that's a bit like making a
sports bag out of your grandpa.
522
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,160
Now, viewers, I have here
523
00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,320
Tomitsuya's business card,
if you like.
524
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,760
So anytime I'm in Kyoto
from now on,
525
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:35,320
I can phone up
and arrange for some
526
00:29:35,360 --> 00:29:39,000
shamisen music and a spot
of dancing for relaxation.
527
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:41,200
And I will.
528
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,280
I'm a little bit in love
with her, if I'm honest.
529
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:46,120
Although that's not the point.
530
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:50,360
Bereft, I set about driving
the streets of Kyoto,
531
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,360
mourning the now-gaping hole
532
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,160
in my life
left behind by Tomitsuya.
533
00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:57,600
So I decided to fill it
with a scene
534
00:29:57,640 --> 00:29:59,760
about exquisite
Japanese joinery.
535
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,120
Sorry, I've become
slightly flushed.
536
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,080
Which the lawyers deemed
too explicit to show.
537
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,960
The wood would have to wait.
538
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:18,360
I decided that I'd like
to go on a tour of Kyoto's
539
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,160
historic shrines and temples.
540
00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,040
And of course,
you can get a guided tour.
541
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:24,120
You can follow someone
with a sign on a stick,
542
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,440
along with some Americans
in funny trousers.
543
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:31,040
But instead,
I've decided to go for RoBoHon,
544
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:35,640
your digital, experimental,
futuristic tour guide.
545
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:40,160
RoBoHon, currently only
available in Japan,
546
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:44,920
is described by its makers
as the future of robotics.
547
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,600
They're packed
with cutting-edge tech:
548
00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:49,520
smartphone, HD projector,
549
00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:52,240
and, most relevant to us,
550
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,680
can give automatic
tour guide information
551
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:55,920
based on your location.
552
00:30:55,960 --> 00:30:58,840
Welcome then, to the future.
553
00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:00,240
So all I have to do now
554
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,120
is press him
on the top of the head,
555
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,920
and the action will begin.
556
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:21,200
Pardon? Oh.
Hang on a minute, RoBoHon.
557
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,240
I have to get my children's
TV presenter glasses out.
558
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:25,760
I'm just going to put you down.
559
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,160
Don't be alarmed.
560
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,520
What shall I call myself
for the purposes of this?
561
00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:35,480
Nickname. Jim.
562
00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:36,680
No, I've done that wrong.
563
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:38,160
You've written your name wrong?
564
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:41,600
Oh, no, I've written "Bim."
565
00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:45,280
Oh, no, I'm...
566
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,800
There you are.
567
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:49,640
I'm Bim.
568
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:53,200
And so it begins.
569
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,120
Bim and RoBoHon's
excellent adventure.
570
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:59,880
The latter with his wealth of
GPS-activated local knowledge,
571
00:31:59,920 --> 00:32:03,520
the former with his inability
to spell his own name.
572
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:07,240
What?
573
00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,160
Wow.
574
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,520
Yes, it is.
575
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:23,440
That's not...:
Not really an amazing fact.
576
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,560
I've had a watch since
I was three, you idiot.
577
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:31,000
I'm starting
to have reservations
578
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,760
about RoBoHon's
tour guide credentials.
579
00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,280
Where are we going?
580
00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:42,480
Are you awake?
581
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,160
No.
582
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:49,640
If this actually makes it
into the program...
583
00:32:49,680 --> 00:32:51,560
I'll know we were
really desperate.
584
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,040
After turning him off
and on again several times,
585
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,520
RoBoHon finally finds something
he wants to talk about.
586
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,200
What?
587
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,840
And what's that?
588
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:18,840
What?
589
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:27,880
You just said that, you digital.
590
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:31,480
As we approach our first stop,
RoBoHon has clearly taken
591
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:33,440
my constructive criticism
on board.
592
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,280
What?
593
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:48,520
Did you know, I knew that.
594
00:33:48,560 --> 00:33:50,120
I've heard it somewhere before.
595
00:33:51,160 --> 00:33:54,360
Clearly a buff on bridges...
596
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:55,560
There it is!
597
00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,800
RoBoHon's less sure
on temples and shrines.
598
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:01,920
Disappointing,
considering there are
599
00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,680
over 2,000 of them in Kyoto,
600
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:07,120
and they're kind of
the reason I came.
601
00:34:07,160 --> 00:34:08,320
Okay. Back to the car.
602
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,040
We're going back
to the car, RoBoHon.
603
00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:11,440
Yes, okay.
604
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,520
It's down the steps
through the red gate.
605
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:15,040
Okay.
606
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:16,320
I never thought I'd say it,
607
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,000
but I'm starting to miss Yujiro.
608
00:34:21,640 --> 00:34:25,160
RoBoHon, tell me
something interesting.
609
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:26,560
But not the bit about the bridge
610
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:28,600
or I'll throw you
out the window.
611
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,159
Google would at least say
"Did you mean Jim?"
612
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,160
But not RoBoHon.
613
00:34:40,200 --> 00:34:41,840
"Hey, Bim."
614
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,159
Ah, the suspense is killing me,
615
00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,640
waiting for RoBoHon to tell me
something interesting.
616
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,000
Having seen the film
Lost in Translation,
617
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,400
I do know that this particular
Zen Buddhist temple
618
00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:09,880
called Nanzen-ji,
is where Scarlett Johansson
619
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,639
once wafted around
in wistful solitude.
620
00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,160
At least someone
had the right idea.
621
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:19,600
What?
622
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,040
Is it?
623
00:35:31,080 --> 00:35:33,000
I think one of
the other tourists
624
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:34,600
dropped him on his head.
625
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:42,639
It's the...
626
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:45,440
I can see people thinking,
"Why has that grown man
627
00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:46,840
"got a plastic doll
628
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:49,640
hanging round his neck?"
629
00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:06,296
You've probably realized
by now that if you want
630
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,920
to learn about Kyoto,
631
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:10,080
you'll just have
to look it up yourself.
632
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:13,560
Unless of course, you'd like
to know that Shijo-Ohashi
633
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:15,680
is a bridge representative
of Kyoto that crosses
634
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:18,920
the Kamo River
over Shiju Street.
635
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:21,440
It's also called Gion Bashi.
636
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,120
Yes.
637
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,920
Tell me how was it?
638
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,880
Hello, viewers, Bim here.
639
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:49,840
Now, do not be alarmed.
I know it looks as though
640
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,440
James May's Land Cruiser
has been put through
641
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:55,880
a face swap app, but it hasn't.
642
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:59,160
I've actually swapped it
temporarily for a Daihatsu Move,
643
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:03,600
and a Daihatsu Move
is a keijidosha, a kei car.
644
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,360
This piece of Tupperware
on wheels is a by-product
645
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:13,920
of a postwar
government initiative,
646
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:18,000
encouraging the manufacture
of cars that are cheap,
647
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:19,880
can fit into tiny urban
parking slots
648
00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:23,360
and most importantly,
look silly.
649
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:28,200
Although the kei car
is rooted in pragmatism
650
00:37:28,280 --> 00:37:29,760
and economy and everything else
651
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:31,920
that characterized
postwar Japan,
652
00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:35,160
it was inevitable that
eventually somebody would say,
653
00:37:35,200 --> 00:37:37,159
"Well, what if we race them?"
654
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,120
Well, what if we do?
Let's find out.
655
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,520
Feel that go!
656
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,080
And through the magic
of editing,
657
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:50,360
I'm at Suzuka,
658
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:53,280
the home of Japanese F1 racing.
659
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,040
But don't expect to see
660
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:59,520
any of your Rosburgs
or Raikkonens today.
661
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,200
This is far more specialist.
662
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,920
Just remember that many greats
have raced here, admittedly
663
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,800
not in a car like this, but...
664
00:38:05,840 --> 00:38:07,200
Hold onto your handbrakes...
665
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,840
it's the Honda Keijidosha
666
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:13,120
N-One single-make
owner's cup championship.
667
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:17,080
As the old beast
Land Cruiser struggles
668
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,920
to stay on the circuit.
669
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:20,880
Look at that.
670
00:38:20,920 --> 00:38:22,920
It's fantastic.
671
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:26,800
Now if I could just slip
into my other TV job
672
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:28,880
for a moment,
I'm here to tell you
673
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,640
that, good though
Honda's NSX supercar is,
674
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:36,560
the N-One puts
the "K" in "okay."
675
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,320
There you go, you only need
676
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:40,640
660CC to campaign
677
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:42,840
one of the world's great
race circuits.
678
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,576
Hang on a minute, I think
I just spotted something
679
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:46,120
on the track back there
680
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,120
that besmirches Japan's
famed fastidiousness.
681
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,040
I think I might have a job.
682
00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:59,160
Look.
683
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,560
Rubber.
684
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,840
This is one of the most
beautifully designed,
685
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,456
best equipped race circuits
in the world,
686
00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:07,159
but you're expected
to sweep the whole thing
687
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:09,640
with something from
Bedknobs and Broomsticks.
688
00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,880
It is just a load of twigs.
689
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,760
Hey, Bim, guess what?
690
00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:19,159
There's another 3.2 miles to go.
691
00:39:19,160 --> 00:39:22,360
Now, while I finish up here,
I should probably explain
692
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:24,000
about the race,
693
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,816
and it really doesn't get
more even than this.
694
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,360
Same Honda N-One.
695
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,159
Same maximum speed
of 97 miles an hour.
696
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,480
The only difference
is the skill of the drivers
697
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,639
and how much
they had for breakfast.
698
00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:39,480
While the teams get their
699
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,560
pre-race Zen on,
I'm given another job,
700
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,920
relaying this electric
atmosphere to the wider world
701
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:48,480
as Suzuka's newest reporter.
702
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,880
This is something you simply
won't see outside of Japan
703
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:55,600
because the cars simply
don't exist outside of Japan.
704
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:59,120
Each one is raced by
an enthusiastic amateur owner.
705
00:39:59,160 --> 00:40:03,320
The unmodified engine develops
a neck-snapping 63 horsepower.
706
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:07,520
Get ready for some proper
wheel-to-wheel racing action.
707
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:13,440
It's time for Suzuka's
newest reporter
708
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,080
to hit the grid to interview
all of today's
709
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:19,639
48 kei car competitors.
710
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:22,320
Oh, hello.
711
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:29,920
That's a rather nice
712
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:33,680
Yoshimura Suzuki
Motul GSX R1000.
713
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:36,639
I mean, I've watched
countless videos on YouTube,
714
00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:38,480
I've even got a poster
in my garage,
715
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,639
but never in my wildest dreams
did I think I'd be able to...
716
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,639
Time to get back down
to the grid to interview
717
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:46,640
one of today's
kei car competitors.
718
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:48,800
Konnichiwa.
719
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:52,560
Do you speak any English?
A little. Excellent.
720
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:54,159
How do you rate
your chances today?
721
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:55,440
Yeah, uh, I...
722
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,200
- Okay.
- Sorry.
723
00:41:00,280 --> 00:41:02,840
Well, very good luck,
I'll be looking out for you.
724
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,160
Don't forget to shut the window.
725
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:08,639
After that blistering insight
into the intricacies
726
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,200
of kei car race tactics,
727
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,560
we now cross over live
to Suzuka's newest commentator.
728
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,440
Over to you, Bim.
729
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,120
And they're off!
730
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,159
Our man, 390,
731
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:28,640
is in second place already,
where he started.
732
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:32,800
And there they go!
733
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,840
Our man's just taken the lead.
734
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:38,360
He's moved into first place.
735
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,560
It does look a little bit
like the traffic in Tokyo,
736
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:47,000
a line of kei cars
not going terribly quickly.
737
00:41:49,760 --> 00:41:51,680
And our man
is still in the lead.
738
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,000
Anything could happen,
739
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:56,840
but I bet it doesn't.
740
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:58,760
I spoke too soon.
In a dramatic turn of events,
741
00:41:58,800 --> 00:42:01,600
our man slips back
to seventh place
742
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:04,160
after doing
a full 180-degree spin.
743
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,960
That's a lie.
He's still in the lead.
744
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,639
As is the case
745
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,680
with most motor racing events,
746
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:14,120
bugger all happens.
747
00:42:14,160 --> 00:42:16,600
Perhaps it's time for a haiku.
748
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:20,080
Kei car, oh, kei car,
749
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,280
why are you so damn slow, car?
750
00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,000
God, I want that bike.
751
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:29,280
Here they come!
752
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,160
It's our man!
753
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:34,080
Our man wins!
754
00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,000
These drivers come
from far and wide to compete
755
00:42:40,040 --> 00:42:42,160
for arguably the most
sought-after prize
756
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,639
in the racing world.
757
00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,880
What is the prize for winning
758
00:42:46,920 --> 00:42:48,480
the N-One Championship?
759
00:42:56,160 --> 00:42:58,040
And, a bottle of...?
760
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,280
- Bottle of apple juice.
- Yes.
761
00:43:00,320 --> 00:43:01,496
Well, that's really,
really good.
762
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:02,576
- It was great to watch.
- Fantastic.
763
00:43:02,600 --> 00:43:03,560
- Yeah.
- Really excellent race.
764
00:43:03,600 --> 00:43:05,200
Best race I've seen for ages.
765
00:43:07,800 --> 00:43:10,200
But there's no time to revel
in an orgy
766
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:13,040
of meat and, um, apple juice,
as I've somewhere else to be.
767
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:16,320
Namely, Japan's oldest purpose
built martial arts center,
768
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,320
the Kyoto Budo,
769
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,520
where people flock
from all across the globe
770
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:22,760
to learn aikido.
771
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:25,600
This is not just a load
of flouncing about
772
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:27,160
to kung fu film sound effects.
773
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:28,880
It's a lot more esoteric
than that.
774
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:30,480
In fact,
I have some information here
775
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,840
from the American Association
of Aikido,
776
00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,640
and it says:
777
00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:37,360
"Aikido is not only a means
of vanquishing a foe..."
778
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:41,280
"it's a means of promoting
the positive character
779
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,000
of the ideal warrior..."
780
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:45,640
"and ultimately of transcending
781
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:47,240
dualistic conflict."
782
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,760
"Aikido is a comprehensive
system of throwing,
783
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:54,240
joint-locking, striking,
and pinning techniques."
784
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,600
Sounds like I'm gonna get
my head kicked in.
785
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,680
But actually, I may be wrong
786
00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:13,720
about that.
787
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:15,120
Aikido seems to be more
788
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,920
like a version
of Japanese line dancing
789
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:19,640
with some shouting,
790
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:23,280
and you do it wearing pajamas.
791
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,680
There's even
a scale model of a woman
792
00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,000
to direct the choreography.
793
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,400
Wow. Well, I think the moral of
that is, if you're gonna attack
794
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:54,480
a small Japanese woman in a pub
with your mates,
795
00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:56,240
make sure you know
how to fall properly.
796
00:44:58,200 --> 00:45:02,840
It turns out this is
Sensei Kataowka-Aoi,
797
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,240
beater-upperer of hundreds
of Western gaijin,
798
00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:08,480
especially if they pronounce
her name wrongly.
799
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:10,320
Sh-She'll be gentle to you.
800
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,320
Right. That's very reassuring.
801
00:45:12,360 --> 00:45:14,160
She has to turn me into
802
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:17,560
a martial arts action hero in
a matter of on-screen minutes.
803
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:31,720
So if I come at you...
804
00:45:31,760 --> 00:45:34,960
The Force, it seems,
is strong with this one.
805
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,200
Okay.
806
00:45:42,240 --> 00:45:44,280
For the second time
this episode,
807
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:46,120
I'm floored by a girl.
808
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:48,080
That was all locked
all the way through there.
809
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:57,080
Is it... I-I hate to do that.
810
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:58,600
No, I got it wrong. Hang on.
811
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:03,920
It's that... that.
812
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:17,040
Well, I'm just staggered.
813
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,400
She only weighs
about four stone.
814
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:22,040
She's whoopin' my ass.
815
00:46:22,080 --> 00:46:25,720
Now, it should be noted
that aikido
816
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:27,920
is a very Japanese martial art.
817
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:29,720
It is not kung fu,
818
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:33,760
which is a term covering a
number of Chinese martial arts.
819
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:35,856
Unfortunately, by the time
we told our edit team this,
820
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,680
they'd already
excitedly looked out
821
00:46:37,720 --> 00:46:41,280
a load of chop-socky
'70s kung fu sound effects.
822
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:46,120
For what follows, sumimasen...
Or whatever they say in China.
823
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,120
Yeah!
824
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:02,520
Bim, guess what?
825
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:07,080
Waah!
826
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:25,800
Thank you.
827
00:47:25,840 --> 00:47:28,320
Now, I know we were taking
the mick out of that a bit
828
00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,200
with our '70s kung fu fantasy,
but in all seriousness,
829
00:47:32,240 --> 00:47:34,080
if you did that
for 15 minutes every day,
830
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:37,320
you would be like the willow
of the Japanese proverb.
831
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:39,680
And while we're on Japanese
proverbs, another one says:
832
00:47:39,720 --> 00:47:42,520
"It is better to bow
than to break."
833
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:45,760
That's lunch, director,
834
00:47:45,800 --> 00:47:47,920
or I'll bust one of your arms.
835
00:47:50,680 --> 00:47:52,840
If you've just tuned in,
which would be odd
836
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,560
given this is
a streaming service,
837
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:56,040
here's what you've missed.
838
00:47:56,080 --> 00:47:58,520
I'm having an artistic tantrum.
I've had enough of this.
839
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,280
Jesus Christ almighty! Aah!
840
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,080
And this used to be a cat?
841
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:04,480
Bim, guess what?
842
00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:09,936
Plus something you didn't,
because the lawyers
843
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,480
advised us to cut it out.
844
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:13,560
You're not meant
to eat the sweets on display.
845
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:15,040
You'll have to buy that one,
then.
846
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:17,320
Well, I will buy. It's only...
847
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,040
Holy shit.
848
00:48:20,960 --> 00:48:23,880
Anyway, with three minutes
still left to fill,
849
00:48:23,920 --> 00:48:26,360
and our haiku quota unmet,
850
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,800
the crew have shoved me
into a bamboo forest on my own
851
00:48:29,840 --> 00:48:31,000
with the direction,
852
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:32,400
"Just get on with it."
853
00:48:38,720 --> 00:48:40,280
Ah, hello, viewers.
854
00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:43,600
You join me in the bamboo forest
just outside Kyoto.
855
00:48:43,640 --> 00:48:46,200
And it's quite interesting,
this, because we've arrived
856
00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:48,840
at the end
of program four out of six,
857
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:52,000
in which we're trying to divine
the meaning of Japan
858
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:53,480
and everything Japanese.
859
00:48:53,520 --> 00:48:56,560
But actually, the answer,
just as it was 42
860
00:48:56,600 --> 00:49:00,280
in The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy, is... bamboo.
861
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:06,600
Because the Japanese can do
862
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:07,976
pretty much everything
with bamboo.
863
00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,920
They can eat the shoots.
864
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:11,840
They can make the scaffolding
for buildings.
865
00:49:11,880 --> 00:49:13,240
They can make buildings
themselves.
866
00:49:13,280 --> 00:49:14,480
They can make furniture.
867
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:15,680
They can make shoes.
868
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,440
They can make a bamboo hat.
869
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,240
Everything
they can make out of bamboo.
870
00:49:20,280 --> 00:49:22,200
Well, they can't make a CD
player out of bamboo,
871
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:23,800
obviously,
but you know what I mean.
872
00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:26,200
The Japanese say that
if there's an earthquake,
873
00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:28,440
you should run
into the bamboo forest,
874
00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:31,240
because the roots make
the ground so stable
875
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,640
that it isn't going to split
apart and swallow you up.
876
00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:37,840
In fact, they even have a word
for this effect,
877
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,520
the way the sun shines through
a bamboo forest specifically
878
00:49:41,560 --> 00:49:44,720
and makes this dappled-light
effect on the ground.
879
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:47,320
That's called komorebi.
880
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:52,920
Anyway, I thought I'd celebrate
this rather marvelous moment
881
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:55,480
with a haiku of my own.
882
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:58,000
Oh, the old bamboo,
883
00:49:58,040 --> 00:50:00,040
a song in Chitty Chitty
884
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:02,040
Bang Bang that was crap.
885
00:50:02,080 --> 00:50:04,120
See you next time.
886
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:38,960
Peach blossoms are
so beautiful, aren't they, Bim?
66775
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