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Hello, viewers,
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you join me in an exciting place
at a critical time.
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00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,760
It is 5:45 in the morning.
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00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:46,600
I am in a land that is equally
fascinating and baffling;
5
00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:49,400
a country that is charming
and hospitable,
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00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,920
but where we from the West
tread in fear and trepidation,
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00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,640
believing that the slightest
transgression of good etiquette
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00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:59,120
is like slapping somebody's
sainted mother in the face.
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00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,560
It's a country I've been to
many times before
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00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,120
but never really understood.
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So join me over six episodes
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00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,000
as I explore
the enduring mystery
13
00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,520
that is the land of this...
14
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:19,680
Which was supposed to be
the rising sun,
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00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,120
but it hasn't really worked out,
has it?
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00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,760
It's a good job
it didn't look like that
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00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,496
when they named Japan,
otherwise it would be
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00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,320
the Land of the Gray Overcast.
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00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:31,840
The flag would be rubbish.
20
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,400
We all know travelogues:
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00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:52,840
beautiful views, tranquil music,
22
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,080
exquisite local food,
23
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,640
some traditional dress,
24
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:58,640
and the presenter saying
something charming
25
00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,080
and English to a local.
26
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,520
Are you mad?
27
00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,280
And we all think
we sort of know Japan.
28
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,920
Cherry blossom,
very busy crossroads,
29
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,480
kei cars, samurai,
30
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,520
and seizure-inducing animations.
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00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,520
I've got a part,
owing to my excellent
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00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,760
Japanese language skills.
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00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:15,880
I'm a dog.
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00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,240
But dig a little deeper,
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00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,960
and from the most
tranquil vistas
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00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,240
to the most built-up metropoles,
37
00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:29,320
there is unearthed
a fascinating land
38
00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:31,439
of contradictions:
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00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,040
the ancient clashing
with the new.
40
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,680
The courteous meeting
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00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:36,360
the furious.
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00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,840
The musical and the karaoke.
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00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,800
♪ Touch me, touch me now. ♪
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00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,280
The microscopic...
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00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:44,680
If I clean your ears,
46
00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,560
the video inside of your ears
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00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,280
is displayed on your iPhone.
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00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,800
- Isn't that fantastic?
- No.
49
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,280
And the ginormous.
50
00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,720
This is the weirdest thing
I've ever driven.
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00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,000
James, I'm coming to shoot you.
52
00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,840
Yes!
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00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:04,400
And Japan's private parts
are rather public.
54
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:07,960
- Today, we have this,
penis festival..
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00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:11,320
So join me as I venture forth
56
00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,640
in peak physical condition...
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00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:16,400
That's very slippery.
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00:03:16,440 --> 00:03:19,960
Traveling by land, sea, air,
59
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,520
and go-kart...
60
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,560
as I journey
from Japan's icy north
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00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:27,920
all the way to its balmy south.
62
00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,640
A British bloke
trying to fit in.
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00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:31,760
I can't, I feel like a pervert.
64
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,920
Literally risking my life...
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00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,080
to find out
just what makes Japan...
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00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,760
Traveling is kind of
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00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,760
getting me excited.
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00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:47,560
You can adjust how strong
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00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:51,680
- you want to clean your asshole.
- Yes. Yes.
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00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:56,080
Forwards to Tokyo.
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00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,760
Plus, yes, some beautiful views.
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00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,440
A bit of exquisite local food...
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00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,080
Jesus Christ.
74
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,800
And traditional-ish dress.
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00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,160
In advance.
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00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:15,896
Right, well, you've seen
all the good bits now,
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00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:19,080
so here's me
driving down a road.
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00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,120
My actual purpose
in coming here,
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00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,536
because I'm fascinated
by the place,
80
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,799
is not to simply look
at all the tourist sites
81
00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:27,680
and go, "Ooh, isn't that lovely"
82
00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,240
and "isn't that unusual."
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00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,880
It's to actually find out
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00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:34,240
what Japan and being Japanese
is about,
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00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:37,080
because it is quite possibly
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00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:41,800
the most "abroad" place
you can go as a British person.
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00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,120
Everything about it
is slightly alien,
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00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:50,440
slightly surprising,
and, dare I say it, confusing.
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00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:54,560
In the interests of that,
I've decided not to start
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00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,560
at the busy Shibuya Junction,
or cooing over Mount Fuji,
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00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,456
or even buying ladies' panties
from a vending machine
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00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,520
in a dark alley.
93
00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,120
Instead, I'm starting here.
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00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,800
The icy, northernmost island
of Hokkaido.
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00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,520
If somebody mentions Japan,
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00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:15,240
you don't really think
of this vast, snowy emptiness.
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00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,880
Now, Hokkaido
has only actually been
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00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,600
part of Japan
for the last 150 years or so.
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00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:26,120
It's about 20% of the land mass
of the whole country,
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00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:28,240
but only has five percent
of its population.
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00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,160
A lot of it looks like this
and is very, very pretty.
102
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:38,000
Amazingly, Hokkaido sits
at the same latitude
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00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,120
as the south of France,
104
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,440
which is what I'm telling myself
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00:05:42,480 --> 00:05:44,160
as I leave the heated seat
of my car
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00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,520
to deliver a long piece
to camera
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00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:50,160
with rapidly retreating
testicles.
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00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:51,800
Now bear with me on this one.
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00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:54,920
In 1957 there was
a Japanese expedition
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00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:57,760
to Antarctica using dogs
and sleds.
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00:05:57,800 --> 00:05:59,800
Now, the expedition
was a disaster.
112
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,440
It had to be abandoned
and the dogs were left behind.
113
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,520
When another expedition
went out a year later,
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00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,400
they found, amazingly,
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00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,360
that two of them
were still alive.
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00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:12,360
Those two dogs became
national heroes of Japan.
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00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,880
And as a result of that,
it became fashionable in Japan
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00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,800
to own a husky-type dog.
119
00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:19,760
And as a result of that,
the leisure sport
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00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,480
of dogsledding returned
to Japan.
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00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:26,160
I've come here to this,
remote part of Hokkaido
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00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,360
where they do dogsledding
using a descendant
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00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:31,680
of the Russian version
of the sleigh dog,
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00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:34,720
known as the Ruski Huskiski.
125
00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:36,880
And let's be honest,
what could be better than this?
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00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:40,080
This beautiful scenery,
the silence of a sledge.
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00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:43,640
It's gonna be like being
Prokofiev, it'll be fabulous.
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00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,720
Right, James, only one
in a million people
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00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:57,536
will get that reference
to Prokofiev at the end.
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00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:59,576
Well, they might just think,
"There goes James being
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00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:01,720
a bit pompous
and intellectual again."
132
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,320
Am I being pompous
and intellectual?
133
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,776
Nobody's ever said that about...
Well, they've said pompous,
134
00:07:06,800 --> 00:07:08,200
but they haven't said
intellectual.
135
00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:09,616
Am I being pompous
and intellectual, viewers?
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00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,360
Press the red button now.
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00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,360
I am.
138
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:15,896
Well, all right, shall we just
do the end bit again then
139
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,280
and I'll say
it's gonna be like being...
140
00:07:19,320 --> 00:07:22,000
It's gonna be like
being Raymond Briggs.
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00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,440
What about Elsa from Frozen?
142
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,680
What?
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00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,320
I decided to let it go.
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00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,480
Helping me learn the ropes
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00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,520
is local sled-head Mr. Terada.
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00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:42,520
Not too much brake.
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00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,760
I can't ski.
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00:07:49,800 --> 00:07:53,680
As Terada-san releases
the hounds, I try
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00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:55,656
desperately to remember
the crash course he's given me.
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00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,240
Irony noted.
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00:07:58,280 --> 00:07:59,760
I stand on here.
152
00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:01,296
If it's going slowly,
I can stand like that,
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00:08:01,320 --> 00:08:03,360
but if it's accelerating
or going around bends,
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00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,560
I've got to crouch,
a bit like a pooping dog,
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00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,680
and move my weight like that.
156
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,600
And if you come and have
a look at this,
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00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:14,200
when you start panicking,
there is a brake,
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00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,720
which is sort of two paddles
that go down into the snow,
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00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:20,240
so I can stamp on that panic
and squeal like a girl.
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00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,720
And the words I need to know
are "Daru,"
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00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,160
that's the name of the lead dog.
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00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,240
Hai.
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00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,880
That meant "go."
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00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,200
Whoa, that's tr...
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00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,240
That's a lot faster
than I expected.
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00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,840
Whoa.
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00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,080
I wasn't expecting that bit.
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00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,400
Can you go a bit slower?
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00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:01,400
- Put the brake on.
- Put the brake on.
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00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:02,880
Okay.
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00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,640
God, there's a bendy bit
coming up.
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00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,280
Can't steer!
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00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,440
Whoa!
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00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,040
Whoa!
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00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,000
Sorry.
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00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,200
Eventually, though, my runnings
finally started becoming cool.
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00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,040
Right.
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00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,440
So, I don't know
how these relatively small dogs
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00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,520
pull this enormous sled
with big fat me on it.
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00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:45,880
Whoa!
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00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,320
This is exhausting.
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00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,960
I wish I had more time
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00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,639
to appreciate
the lovely scenery here,
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00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,440
but I'm desperately trying
to hang onto this bloody thing.
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00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,320
Hai, hai, hai!
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00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:04,640
Go wide, in Japanese.
187
00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,480
Whoa.
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00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:10,640
I'm using a little bit
of braking... whoa, whoa, whoa!
189
00:10:17,360 --> 00:10:19,640
Stop, stop, stop!
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00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,280
- Stopped.
- Very nice.
191
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:25,280
- Okay. Yes.
- Change, change.
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00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:26,720
Here, have...
193
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,880
Geez, that's the...
194
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,960
that's the hardest thing
I've ever done.
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00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,520
Cut.
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00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:46,120
Here come the rest of the crew
in the luxury of a Ski-Doo.
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00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,760
Well done, everyone.
198
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:58,400
They didn't even stop
to say congratulations.
199
00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:00,200
It may have escaped
your attention,
200
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,400
but high-octane
physical activity
201
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,120
is not my cup of matcha.
202
00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:08,640
Fortunately, though, I have
many other thrilling interests
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00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:10,720
that I'm eager to share.
204
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,200
Now I'd like to talk to you for
a moment about Japanese poetry.
205
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,800
But don't be alarmed, I'm merely
going to talk about the haiku,
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00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,960
a very classical
ancient Japanese form,
207
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,400
a very simple form of poetry.
208
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,640
And each haiku
has multiple meanings.
209
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,640
The most widely accepted form
is a line of five syllables,
210
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:32,840
a line of seven
and then a line of five,
211
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,280
such as, "Fleecy little lamb
212
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,640
"Leaps and bounds
into the spring
213
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,360
I see a jumper."
214
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,160
We're going to head off
to a quiet,
215
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,320
sort of snowy knoll somewhere,
216
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,840
and I'm going
to read one to you.
217
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,600
"When I think of it as my snow
218
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,000
"How light it is
219
00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,040
On my bamboo hat."
220
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:03,680
Nice, isn't it?
221
00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,280
Actually, should I try and write
222
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,120
a few haiku of my own
on this trip?
223
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,560
Because that would be quite
an interesting challenge.
224
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,600
You could even write a haiku
225
00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,600
to sum up the entire trip
at the end.
226
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,320
One haiku for the whole thing.
227
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:16,960
Well, that's actually
what haiku are for,
228
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,640
because if they're
written properly,
229
00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,480
they're so laden with meaning
that they can explain
230
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:24,800
the whole human condition in
five, seven and five syllables.
231
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,480
Should be a breeze.
232
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:29,480
Let's try it. We'll have a few
practice haiku on the way.
233
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,960
Thank you very much.
That's the end of double poetry.
234
00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,400
Haiku scene over.
235
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:42,880
First city of trip beckons,
named Obihiro.
236
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:48,640
I say "city,"
but by Japanese standards,
237
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:53,360
with a piffling 169,000 people,
it's practically a hamlet.
238
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:57,200
Still, having so far met
mainly dogs,
239
00:12:57,240 --> 00:13:00,840
I'm rather keen
to find the local boozer.
240
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:05,720
These are yatai.
241
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,200
They're a sort of Japanese
friendship concept, if you like.
242
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,800
Most towns have them.
243
00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:12,400
In warmer towns,
they're usually just a canopy.
244
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,880
Here, in Hokkaido, because
it is cold, they are huts.
245
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:20,680
And each one of them is
a miniature restaurant and bar,
246
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,920
and you can go there with
your mates or you can go there
247
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,240
as a couple or you can also,
as I'm going to,
248
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,600
go there on your own
because you're lonely,
249
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,200
maybe a bit depressed.
250
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,560
The people who are in there
will be friendly,
251
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,760
you snuggle up to them.
It's very, very intimate.
252
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:39,200
So I'm going to try, since we've
just arrived at it... this one.
253
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,400
- Konbanwa.
- May I?
254
00:13:49,440 --> 00:13:52,160
Excellent.
255
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,760
As with most social gatherings,
256
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,720
my entrance
is met with laughter.
257
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,360
I'm now going to use my very
formal beginner's Japanese
258
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,760
to ask for a beer.
259
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,040
I say...
260
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:08,160
Onegaishimasu!
261
00:14:16,240 --> 00:14:17,640
- Arigato.
- Thank you.
262
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,640
Cheers.
263
00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:21,880
Kanpai!
264
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,800
Because I've already exhausted
my Japanese, I'm going to resort
265
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,280
to technology.
266
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,880
Tonight I am very hungry.
267
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,120
Okay.
268
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,920
The second stick translates
back into English.
269
00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:52,920
Fantastic. How good is that?
270
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:55,480
Let's see if this works
back to front, so...
271
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:59,880
Tonight, I am very hungry.
272
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,960
"Divorce tonight"?
273
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,000
What is it?
274
00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:12,880
Technology is rubbish.
275
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,720
Forget those.
276
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:20,680
Shut up.
277
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,400
Despite
the communication problems,
278
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:28,320
we're getting on rather well.
279
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:33,680
And this tiny, warm restaurant
is a cramped haven,
280
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,160
especially as it tragically
can't fit most of the crew.
281
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,480
- Is it origami?
- Origami.
282
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,840
Origami. Okay...
283
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,760
- Origami, origami.
- Okay.
284
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,880
I'm five and a half
thousand miles
285
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,040
from home,
a stranger in a strange land.
286
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,440
Which way up is it, that way?
287
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,640
No, that way.
288
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:58,360
But here in the yatai,
I feel among friends.
289
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:00,760
No, you're too generous.
290
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:06,160
Obviously, I'm not really alone.
I have my crew and so on.
291
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:08,160
But if you really were
traveling around,
292
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,880
and you were completely
on your own of an evening,
293
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,320
it's so intimate and so close,
294
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:15,720
that you have to, you have
to talk to the other people
295
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,760
and have a nice time.
296
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,760
It's great.
297
00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:21,640
- This is for you.
- Thank you.
298
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,640
- Sam, this is for you.
- Great.
299
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:28,880
Actually, it's James.
300
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:32,000
I will treasure that.
301
00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:34,840
I didn't realize I was so funny
302
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,600
until I came to Japan.
303
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,360
After my state-of-the-art
translation tech
304
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:50,680
failed me last night,
I've decided to go analog.
305
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,880
- Just great. Please.
- Thank you, thank you.
306
00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:55,840
Please welcome, now
accompanying me on my voyage,
307
00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:57,240
Masayo.
308
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,080
Good morning, everybody.
309
00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:00,560
This is Masayo-san.
310
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:01,960
- Konnichiwa.
- Konnichiwa.
311
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,240
And she's my guide.
312
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,480
I can only say...
313
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,400
And...
314
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,200
- That's correct?
- Yes. Yes, and...
315
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,920
And I can say "onegaishimas."
316
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:34,200
So I say...
317
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:35,640
That's it, for a beer.
318
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,920
- Fantastic.
- That's the most
important thing.
319
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,000
Masayo wants to show me
another Japanese take
320
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:43,000
on a traditional
winter activity,
321
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,319
and she seems
like a civilized type,
322
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,640
so it's probably something
like building a snowman.
323
00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,720
In fact, it's
the world's most regulated
324
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,280
and violent snowball fight.
325
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,800
Apparently, here in Hokkaido,
they've turned snowballs
326
00:18:05,880 --> 00:18:08,160
into a fully-fledged team sport,
327
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:10,800
with strictly controlled
snowball sizes,
328
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:13,040
contact rules,
leagues, uniforms,
329
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,680
stadiums and referees.
330
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,616
The rules... as I'm sure you'll
want to play along at home...
331
00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:20,920
Each seven-player team can use
up to 90 regulation snowballs
332
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,880
per round to hit the other team
or capture their flag.
333
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,000
I see, the people
at the back roll the snowballs
334
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:30,480
to the forwards,
we'd probably call them.
335
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:34,080
- It's best of three, and if
you take a hit, you're out.
336
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:41,319
Yukigassen means yuki: snow,
gassen: war or fight.
337
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,920
And I'd never heard of it.
Maybe you haven't, either.
338
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:46,960
But, anyway, can we bring
the teams out, please, coach?
339
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:51,559
Shigo!
340
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,559
Shigo. Shigo?
341
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,000
- "Get together."
- "Get together."
342
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,559
But Masayo's surprise
343
00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,200
doesn't stop there.
344
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,040
- You want me to play?
- Yes, please.
345
00:19:09,080 --> 00:19:12,319
Please, please enjoy
snow-snowball fighting tonight.
346
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:14,320
Yeah, I'm sure I'll love it.
347
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,960
James, you look so nice.
348
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,200
- Do I?
- You look like a sportsman.
349
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,720
- Thank you very much
- You can do that. Okay?
350
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,319
Here's a ball
from the la... the la...
351
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:33,680
- It's rea... it's very hard.
- Very, very hard.
352
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,240
- Very hard.
- Feel that.
353
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,760
- Yeah, it's kind of a ice ball.
- Throw it at me.
354
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,240
Yeah, It's quite hard.
355
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:43,520
It's quite small.
356
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,080
To make this
even more schoolyard,
357
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,200
we're doing boys
against the girls.
358
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:57,520
Which probably means we fancy
them, but we're too shy to say.
359
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:11,080
- Be careful, be careful.
- Be careful!
360
00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:12,280
Come on, James!
361
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,200
You can throw ball.
362
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,800
James, go!
363
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,200
James, go for it!
Go for it!
364
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,200
I'm starting to think Masayo
might be a bit of a sadist.
365
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,760
What are you doing?
It's terrible.
366
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:27,560
What are you doing?
367
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,640
Don't let me down!
368
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:35,520
I'm hit, which means I'm out.
369
00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:37,559
As one of my teammates
makes very clear.
370
00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,520
You're terrible.
371
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,160
You're terrible.
372
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,280
James! Come on!
373
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:45,799
I d... I didn't see it coming.
374
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:49,319
- James, come on.
- I'm sorry.
375
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:50,799
- That's your fault.
- I know it's my...
376
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:53,880
Because of you, your team
lost the first game.
377
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,440
Look, the Japanese way
is to elevate the achievements
378
00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,960
of others
while diminishing your own.
379
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,040
- I know, but...
- That was a bit rubbish...
380
00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,800
- That's your fault.
- It was my fault, yes.
381
00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,320
You should not...
Should not be coward.
382
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,799
- Okay?
- Not be...?
383
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,000
Not be coward.
384
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:10,720
- Covered?
- Coward.
385
00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,280
Sorry, do you mean
"covered" or "coward"?
386
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:14,880
Coward!
387
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:16,640
- Coward!
- I mean coward.
388
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:17,640
Scared.
389
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,040
Yeah. You shouldn't be scared.
390
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,120
I wasn't scared, I'm just
too big, and they could...
391
00:21:22,160 --> 00:21:24,319
I stuck out from behind the...
392
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,280
Don't tell me that excuse.
393
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:29,000
- Okay.
- The next set you should
do the best.
394
00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:31,880
- Okay, next time
I will do better.
- Okay.
395
00:21:31,920 --> 00:21:34,000
- Please trust me.
- I do.
396
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,559
- Please don't let me down.
- I won't let you down.
397
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,920
That's like my mother telling me
she's disappointed in me.
398
00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:42,559
It's terrible.
399
00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,320
Right. Stand by.
400
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:48,240
My team lost the first set,
no small thanks to me.
401
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,720
- So if we lose again,
that's it.
402
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,480
A near miss.
403
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,400
I like to think
that the problem is
404
00:21:57,440 --> 00:21:59,560
that I'm much taller
than the average player,
405
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,240
not that I'm a bit fat.
406
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,360
- I got one!
- Very nice.
407
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,160
- James, go, go!
- Go, go!
408
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:11,360
Go, go, go, go!
Very nice. Go, go.
409
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,680
I fight tooth and nail.
410
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,960
But pinned down
and screaming for help...
411
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,840
Where are they?
412
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,800
James, be careful, be careful!
413
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,120
I'm hit again.
414
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,720
My. My.
415
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:35,120
- Finished, finished.
- Who won?
416
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:38,040
- Did they?
- You lost.
417
00:22:41,560 --> 00:22:43,840
Thank you.
Domo arigato.
418
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,096
Well, to be honest, I thought
it might be a bit pony,
419
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,320
but it's actually really good.
420
00:22:50,360 --> 00:22:52,680
It's quite frightening. And it
does make a hell of a racket
421
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:55,000
when it hits you on the helmet.
422
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,280
But, um,
423
00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:59,560
Domo arigato gozaimashita.
424
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,080
Very, very good game.
425
00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:06,280
So the red team, the men's team,
lost by one hit.
426
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,240
One person out. That person was
knocked out in the first round,
427
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:10,896
the only person knocked out
of the men's team
428
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,000
in the first round,
and it was me.
429
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,640
- Yes, it's your fault.
- Okay? It's my fault, yes.
430
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:20,040
So I should say to them,
I should say...
431
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:24,680
Sumimasen.
432
00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:28,320
Right, then.
Where to next?
433
00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:32,720
No, not there.
434
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:35,520
Here.
435
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,880
It's the next morning,
and we're up early,
436
00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:45,880
with some big plans for the day.
437
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,640
Unfortunately...
438
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:50,640
So, today I've got up at 5:00
439
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,840
to go to some sort of...
440
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,640
exclusively Hokkaido
horse racing event...
441
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,720
and it's been canceled.
442
00:23:58,760 --> 00:23:59,856
So, what do you want to do now?
443
00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,920
Can we go inside?
444
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:03,960
No.
445
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,080
No, you can't.
446
00:24:05,120 --> 00:24:06,760
Is breakfast open yet?
447
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,440
Breakfast is probably not open
for another couple of hours.
448
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,000
- Has anybody seen my hat?
- No. Sorry.
449
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,280
Does anybody care?
450
00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,720
We have to film something today,
451
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,240
or the knife-edge finances
of the struggling Amazon empire
452
00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,720
will tip into the red,
453
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,560
so here's my hotel room.
454
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:29,120
Ohayo.
Come in.
455
00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:30,840
I was wanting to talk
to you, actually.
456
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,120
Um, I was going to say that...
457
00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,680
hundreds of years ago,
when I was a child in the '70s,
458
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:37,416
and everybody was basically
a racist, it used to be
459
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,760
considered great fun to laugh
at slightly wonky
460
00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:43,040
Japanese translations
in the instruction books
461
00:24:43,080 --> 00:24:44,800
that came with, you know,
power tools
462
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:46,656
and the early Japanese cars,
and all that sort of thing.
463
00:24:46,680 --> 00:24:47,936
Bits that said,
"Cement the driver's arm
464
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,240
to the handle," and so on.
465
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:52,000
But actually the translation
of Japanese into English
466
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,880
often yields
very, very fetching phrases
467
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,896
that are actually much nicer
than the words we really use.
468
00:24:56,920 --> 00:24:59,016
For example, the first time
I came to Japan... that was
469
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,080
25, 26 years ago...
The little sign
470
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,280
next to the kettle
in the hotel room said
471
00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,160
"electricity pot,"
which is a much nicer name
472
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,160
for it than kettle.
473
00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:09,600
We often still say that at home,
474
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:10,736
we say, "I'll fill up
the electricity pot."
475
00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:12,040
Here's another one.
476
00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:14,200
Um, this is a pencil
I bought recently.
477
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,640
It's Japanese, and it's got
all the usual sort of, you know,
478
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:18,080
pencil rubbish written on it,
479
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,200
but then if you look
at that side, look, it says,
480
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,760
"made by elaborate process."
481
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,080
Now, the original Japanese
probably says something
482
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:28,880
completely trite,
like "finest quality,"
483
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,760
but once their version
of that is translated,
484
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:32,480
it says
"made by elaborate process,"
485
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,040
and I like things that
are made by elaborate process.
486
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:36,320
And here's another one.
487
00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,680
If I just put my, um,
what the crew call
488
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:41,120
my children's TV presenter
specs on.
489
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,880
There was a, a sign in
the bathroom in the last hotel
490
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,600
that we were in, and um,
it was instructions
491
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:49,600
on how to operate the shower,
and it says:
492
00:25:49,640 --> 00:25:53,840
"Slip knob into bracket
on opposite wall."
493
00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,576
No idea what it means, really,
but it's much nicer
494
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:57,800
than just saying whatever it was
supposed to say.
495
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,320
I just thought I'd mention...
Look, there's my hat.
496
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:03,000
Um, I just thought I'd mention
that, because we can't go
497
00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:04,536
to the racing now,
and I'm sorry about that,
498
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:06,640
but as
the Japanese proverb says,
499
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,280
"Never try to bite
your own navel."
500
00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:16,840
Masayo's taken the day off,
501
00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,200
but as the snow's stopped,
502
00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:20,000
and the best budget in the world
503
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:22,320
doesn't cover
a Japanese minibar,
504
00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:25,160
I've decided to go in search
of a simple snack.
505
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,760
The real problem for me
is the language, because
506
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,240
if I travel to Germany
or France, I can't
507
00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:32,696
really speak
those languages properly,
508
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:34,080
but I can look at the words,
509
00:26:34,120 --> 00:26:36,360
and they make a noise
in my head.
510
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,800
And often their words
are related to our words,
511
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,040
and you can work out
a few basic things.
512
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,520
But in Japanese,
when you look at the signs,
513
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:45,640
there is no noise in your head.
514
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:53,280
I know a lot of you
are thinking,
515
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,840
"James is just being a dork.
516
00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:57,840
It can't really be
that difficult," but it is.
517
00:26:57,880 --> 00:26:59,160
Come and see.
518
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,680
Now, this is the food
ordering machine,
519
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,160
but obviously you can't know
what any of it is,
520
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,480
'cause it's all written
in kanji.
521
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,320
And, if you're trying
to play along at home,
522
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:15,040
know that the numbers and
symbols on the picture board
523
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:17,520
don't relate to the numbers
and symbols on the machine.
524
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,800
No, it's different
on there, though, isn't it?
525
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,640
It's none of those...
526
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:29,400
The numbers are different.
527
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,240
So the colors
will mean something.
528
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:35,360
I think the orange things
are... hot...
529
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:37,040
or are they?
530
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,960
Television shows
are often accused
531
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,400
of exaggerating the truth
in the name of entertainment.
532
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,920
This machine genuinely took us
533
00:27:44,960 --> 00:27:47,480
six full minutes to work out.
534
00:28:00,960 --> 00:28:02,680
Yes, there you go. Right.
535
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,120
Even after that, I've only
unlocked door number one.
536
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:17,760
No?
537
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:25,360
So, just to summarize, I went
to a very complicated machine
538
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:28,760
to buy some noodles, when
I could have just asked a man,
539
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:31,000
but I got a ticket from
the machine, which I then had to
540
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:34,040
give to the man, and he tore it
in half immediately
541
00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,240
and sent me over
to the noodle bar,
542
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:38,440
where I offered the ticket
to the lady,
543
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,200
but she didn't want it.
544
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:44,840
But three minutes later,
545
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,600
it turned out I had
hit the jackpot after all.
546
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:51,080
Wow.
Look at that.
547
00:28:51,120 --> 00:28:53,640
And now everything is okay,
548
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,080
because I have
a bowl of noodles.
549
00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,960
Japan is famed for its raw fish,
550
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,040
but a bowl of ramen
is what gets things done.
551
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:09,040
In face-shatteringly freezing
Hokkaido,
552
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:13,600
it feels like the beans
and sausages of the Orient.
553
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:16,000
Anyway, I'm delighted to say
that having been
554
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,200
pelted with it and had my face
rubbed in it,
555
00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:21,440
we're leaving
all this snow stuff behind,
556
00:29:21,480 --> 00:29:24,280
and we're heading
for the broad sunlit uplands
557
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:26,920
of southeastern Hokkaido.
558
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,840
Where the haiku are all about
fresh, dry tarmac.
559
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:35,200
And where, finally, I'm allowed
to film a proper scene
560
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:38,080
about people making stuff.
561
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,760
Hidden
in this unassuming building
562
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,400
in the hills of Hokkaido
is a forge
563
00:29:47,440 --> 00:29:50,160
run by a very special man.
564
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:53,560
We've come here to meet
Korehira Watanabe-san,
565
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:55,960
and he is one of the last
surviving makers
566
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,880
of samurai swords.
567
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,920
This is going to be excellent.
568
00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,880
James-san.
Very nice to meet you.
569
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,880
Anyone who's seen Kill Bill
570
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,960
knows people
will travel the world
571
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,320
to find an elusive
Japanese master swordsmith
572
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:26,840
so they can hack ninjas
to pieces in style.
573
00:30:26,880 --> 00:30:30,720
Korehira Watanabe has been
honing his craft for 40 years
574
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,640
and is edging ever closer
to the perfect blade.
575
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:36,720
And what an edge it is.
576
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:44,640
Wow.
577
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,480
That's spectacular.
578
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,000
- May I?
- Okay.
579
00:30:48,040 --> 00:30:50,880
Domo arigato.
580
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,600
That is achingly gorgeous.
Look at that.
581
00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:54,720
No?
582
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,640
Okay. Okay.
583
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,560
That feels fantastic
in your hand as well.
584
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:05,560
That's proper craftsmanship.
There's a lot...
585
00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:07,880
"Craft" is a fantastically
abused word.
586
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,960
It's used by people who,
you know,
587
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,160
make wooden boxes
on a band saw, but that is...
588
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:14,880
it's fantastic.
589
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:17,640
How long does it take to make?
590
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:22,480
How many people
can still do this?
591
00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,080
Do you have an apprentice?
592
00:31:30,600 --> 00:31:31,880
Do you want another apprentice?
593
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,600
May I be an apprentice
for one day?
594
00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:44,720
- Okay. Domo arigato.
- Hai. Hai.
595
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:47,160
What do you think?
596
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,560
You look like a sushi chef.
597
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:51,760
- I don't look like
a sushi chef.
- Yeah, you do.
598
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:55,320
As I join in the forging
of a new masterpiece,
599
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:56,960
I'm instructed to follow
600
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,120
the rhythm of the hammers.
601
00:31:58,160 --> 00:32:00,240
One, two, three.
602
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:05,200
Luckily, I have a degree
in music, so this proves easy.
603
00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:09,160
No.
604
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:21,720
I'm asked to sit out
the rest of the process.
605
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:23,720
Clearly, I'm too much
of a natural at this,
606
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,960
and he doesn't want to show up
the other apprentice.
607
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,320
Hai.
608
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,760
Master Watanabe-san
has spent decades
609
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:50,560
trying to replicate the ancient
Koto samurai swords,
610
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,960
considered the finest ever made.
611
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,040
The rhythm of the hammers
are instructions to one another.
612
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,360
It's fantastic.
613
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:01,280
Listen to 'em go
ding-ding-chh, ding-ding-chh.
614
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:03,560
He's telling him
with his hammer taps
615
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,600
how regularly and how hard
to hit the piece of metal.
616
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:10,240
The metal will be shaped
across many months
617
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:14,040
in continual pursuit
of this mythical perfection.
618
00:33:14,080 --> 00:33:15,480
Hai.
619
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,680
The samurai believed that
the sword embodied the soul,
620
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,840
and there is
a spiritual reverence here.
621
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:23,680
This ancient process
of sword-making
622
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:25,560
is actually part
of the Shinto religion.
623
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:28,880
It's a... it's a ritual event, as
well as a manufacturing event.
624
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:30,400
Then, hence this.
625
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:31,656
I don't know
their exact meaning,
626
00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:33,360
but this is all part of...
627
00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:37,160
These are all votive things
to the gods around the forge.
628
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,760
Where applied,
this layer of clay
629
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:44,720
makes the steel cool
at a different rate,
630
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:46,040
changing its characteristics,
631
00:33:46,080 --> 00:33:48,920
as well as providing
that signature curve.
632
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,360
After all these processes,
you end up with a blade
633
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:56,040
that has a different
quality of steel here,
634
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,400
from here, from the very edge.
635
00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:01,200
The edge is very hard and can
be made very... very sharp.
636
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:02,760
The middle is slightly
more ductile,
637
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,640
so the sword won't break.
638
00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,640
The edge here is thicker,
639
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:08,680
so that the thing isn't wobbly.
640
00:34:08,720 --> 00:34:11,160
And all the steel
that you start with
641
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:12,440
is all still in the blade.
642
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:14,159
Nothing is ground or cut away.
643
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,840
It's all hammered into that.
644
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:21,160
It's... it's breathtaking,
really.
645
00:34:21,200 --> 00:34:24,680
Luckily, Watanabe-san
has a work-in-progress sword
646
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,159
that's a few months
further down the line.
647
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,760
And he lets me take it
for a little test drive.
648
00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:32,480
Hai!
649
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,040
How far did I go in there?
Two inches?
650
00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:40,400
And it's perfectly okay.
It's not even notched.
651
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:43,640
The blade is absolutely fine.
652
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,880
Domo arigato gozaimashita.
653
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:53,159
Arigato gozaimashita.
654
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:54,640
Arigato.
655
00:34:57,360 --> 00:34:59,520
I would quite happily
have spent the next ten years
656
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,600
being Watanabe-san's apprentice,
657
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,880
but I think the crew would have
thrown me into the forge.
658
00:35:03,920 --> 00:35:06,520
Plus, his current apprentice
was sharpening a blade
659
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:08,080
and looking at me funny.
660
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,760
Time to move on.
661
00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,159
After all this wilderness,
it's high time to head
662
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,920
to Hokkaido's biggest city,
Sapporo,
663
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,960
named after the beer.
664
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,480
Now, this is Sapporo, and I have
to say I'm quite relieved,
665
00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:24,600
because my one criticism
of Hokkaido is that
666
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:25,960
it does feel a bit deserted.
667
00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:27,560
Everything is a bit empty.
668
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,840
But this is the fifth-biggest
city in Japan.
669
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,800
Sapporo, along with Asahi,
Kirin and Suntory,
670
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:42,960
makes up the foaming head
of Japan's beer industry,
671
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,520
and its presence
dominates the city.
672
00:35:46,560 --> 00:35:48,840
But my director thought
I'd prefer
673
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,680
the more intimate setting
of the Sun and Moon,
674
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,280
one of the growing number
of microbreweries
675
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,320
setting up in the city.
676
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:58,600
He was wrong.
677
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:02,400
The issue I have...
is that most microbreweries
678
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:07,159
in Britain or America
are a bit... crap.
679
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,639
Everybody's going on about,
"It's 'craft' beer."
680
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,440
But there's a reason why
Sean, the cameraman,
681
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,440
isn't using a "craft" camera.
682
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:18,960
- So, you call this a bitter?
- Bitter, yes.
683
00:36:19,000 --> 00:36:20,560
It's very pale.
It's like a pale ale.
684
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,480
- India pale ale.
- It is a pa...
India pale ale?
685
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:23,960
- Yes.
- Yeah. Okay.
686
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:31,360
Smooth.
687
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,120
That's refreshing
in so many ways.
688
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:38,159
It's a beer,
which is refreshing.
689
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:41,480
It's a good microbrewery,
which is also refreshing.
690
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,080
Very nice.
691
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:47,880
- Thank you.
- Very nice.
692
00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:51,400
Moriya-san, the owner
of the microbrewery,
693
00:36:51,440 --> 00:36:54,360
has agreed to give me a guided
tour of the whole operation,
694
00:36:54,400 --> 00:36:56,640
which amounts to a closet
behind the bar.
695
00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,256
It's very steamy in here,
obviously,
696
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:00,576
which is a problem
with the camera.
697
00:37:00,600 --> 00:37:04,640
This is a genuine microbrewery,
even by microbrewery standards.
698
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,960
Sorry, I'll wipe it
and then speak.
699
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,080
While our Aussie cameraman
steam-proofs his kit,
700
00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:11,280
I add some hops.
701
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:12,520
Hang on a minute.
702
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:13,639
- Clear?
- Yes.
703
00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:17,440
Go, go, go. Okay.
704
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:19,400
Perfect.
705
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,520
Whoa, you can smell it.
706
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,160
The smell of hops.
707
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,160
It's the beginnings of beer.
708
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,960
It is remarkably hot in here.
709
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,800
I hope my beer's still cold.
710
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,920
It's weird, this, isn't it?
711
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,560
If you went to a-a restaurant,
and they said,
712
00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:39,016
"Yeah, of course you can have
egg and chips,
713
00:37:39,040 --> 00:37:41,016
but you've got to help us cook
it," you'd be really annoyed.
714
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,456
But if you have to help
make the beer,
715
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,920
you don't mind, somehow.
716
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:53,560
Excellent.
717
00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,760
That has gone down
since I left it.
718
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,800
Um...
719
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,159
All right.
720
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,640
This obviously isn't the beer
I've just helped to make,
721
00:38:08,680 --> 00:38:11,160
but I am brewing
a plan for that.
722
00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,160
Um, when will this beer
be ready?
723
00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:17,080
- One month.
- One month?
724
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,840
Where will we be in a month?
725
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,440
- Osaka.
- Osaka?
726
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,560
I should point out that
one of the problems we've had
727
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,640
with Japanese hotels is
they only have small bars,
728
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:27,120
and they often close
really early.
729
00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,200
Often before we've arrived.
I wonder,
730
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,560
could you send it if...
We will pay, of course.
731
00:38:31,600 --> 00:38:33,160
Could you send beer to Osaka?
732
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,360
- Yes.
- Yeah?
733
00:38:34,400 --> 00:38:35,960
In-in bottles, you know,
is fine.
734
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,080
- Yes.
- Yeah. Okay.
735
00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:40,800
I'd love that, if our own beer
followed us across Japan.
736
00:38:40,840 --> 00:38:41,880
Fantastic.
737
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,560
Kanpai.
738
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,160
I bloody love beer.
739
00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,040
I'm nearing the end
of the first leg of my trip,
740
00:39:02,080 --> 00:39:03,640
but before I cross
to the mainland,
741
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,960
I thought I'd experience
fishing Hokkaido's
742
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,960
bountiful coastal waters,
743
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:10,960
hence the low-end,
copyright-free
744
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:12,360
sea shanty music.
745
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:14,080
Good morning, viewers.
746
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:16,760
Today, we are in Otaru, and
for lunch we are having tako...
747
00:39:16,800 --> 00:39:18,360
Octopus... very, very popular.
748
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:21,560
Japan eats two-thirds
of the world's octopus catch.
749
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,480
But this being television,
before I can eat it,
750
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:26,800
I have to catch it, so we
are here to meet Narita-san,
751
00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,520
who is the skipper
of this fishing boat.
752
00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:32,680
James. How are you?
753
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,680
I have... this is very correct
Japanese etiquette...
754
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,600
I have my business cards ready.
755
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:41,800
And... using two hands,
756
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,800
face towards the recipient,
757
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,280
I present it.
758
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:55,400
Make a point of looking at it
759
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,280
even though
you don't understand it.
760
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,520
Excellent.
761
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,160
Now, there's a bit of a story
behind my business card
762
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:06,600
because I wrote it as a haiku,
763
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,680
and it says,
or I believed it said:
764
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:14,960
"My name is James May.
My business card is before you,
765
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,880
as indeed am I."
766
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:18,360
And then we turned it into kanji
767
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:20,160
so it looks proper
Japanese haiku and so on,
768
00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,880
but then we gave it to one of
our Japanese fixers and said,
769
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,560
"Can you just translate that
back for us
770
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,200
to make sure it's okay,"
and it actually says:
771
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,920
"My name is James May.
Please bear this in mind.
772
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,440
Thank you in advance."
773
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:35,760
Shall we go?
774
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,840
Yes.
775
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:40,600
- Okay, okay, okay. Okay.
- Yes. Okay. Okay.
776
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:44,760
Yet again,
I'm accidentally hilarious.
777
00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,360
A couple of things you might not
know about the octopus:
778
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,760
it has eight legs...
You probably did know that...
779
00:40:56,800 --> 00:40:59,040
But you might not know
that it has three hearts,
780
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:01,360
and also that it has more
intelligence in its arms
781
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:02,600
than in its head.
782
00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:04,000
So it's excellent
at multitasking,
783
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:06,560
it can be using its arms
to get some food out of rocks
784
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:07,920
while its head is thinking
785
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,680
what to watch on television
that night.
786
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,280
The only thing that could
go against us here
787
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,639
is that the skipper's
a bit worried about the sea.
788
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,296
They normally go out
at 5:00 in the morning
789
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,880
because that's when
it's very calm.
790
00:41:20,920 --> 00:41:23,159
It's now gone 9:30,
791
00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:26,120
so it could get a little bit
choppy, but let's see.
792
00:41:26,160 --> 00:41:29,880
I'm very confident and this is a
great way of earning your lunch.
793
00:41:31,920 --> 00:41:34,920
Or a great way to revisit it.
Unfortunately,
794
00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:36,840
once we leave
the enclosed harbor,
795
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,040
things get choppier
than a karate tournament.
796
00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:41,800
Half a mile out of the harbor,
797
00:41:41,840 --> 00:41:43,880
it's as choppy as hell.
798
00:41:43,920 --> 00:41:46,840
The cameraman can hard...
Well, he's not standing up,
799
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:49,160
to be honest,
he's kneeling in front of me.
800
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,280
I might rephrase that.
801
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:56,800
Um, I've never been seasick,
802
00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,320
I'm very grateful for that,
803
00:41:58,360 --> 00:42:01,320
- but some of our crew...
- do it quite a lot.
804
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:05,960
Bet they're regretting nicking
my beer in the last scene.
805
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,680
Japan update.
806
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:11,560
Subject: octopus fishing.
807
00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,680
The news is we're about halfway
to where the octopus pots are.
808
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:16,840
They're dropped in advance
the day before,
809
00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,200
but it's too rough,
says Narita-san,
810
00:42:19,280 --> 00:42:20,520
to stop and winch them up.
811
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:22,560
The risk is that
you break the ropes
812
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:25,160
and then you lose your
precious octopus pots forever.
813
00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:27,160
I think I've understood that
correctly.
814
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:39,880
Well, if we were...
certain other
815
00:42:39,920 --> 00:42:42,200
unmentionable TV programs,
we would fake that
816
00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,656
and just find an octopus and put
it in the pot, and then pretend,
817
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,096
"Hey, look at the octopus
we've caught."
818
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,440
But we can't really do that,
can we? 'Cause that's not true.
819
00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,840
- No.
- So what do we do?
820
00:42:52,880 --> 00:42:55,320
Well, I've heard that some
people have actually managed
821
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:56,680
to catch an octopus
this morning,
822
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,160
so we might be able
to buy an octopus
823
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:02,639
or borrow an octopus
from somebody else?
824
00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:05,016
You know, as long as we can get
to the restaurant and do the,
825
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,400
-"Here's how you
prepare an octopus."
-Yeah.
826
00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:09,536
If somebody here's caught one,
we could do... we can just revert
827
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:11,760
to the 1970s and say,
"Here's one we caught earlier."
828
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:14,600
And here's one
we caught earlier.
829
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,200
What a weird-looking thing.
830
00:43:20,880 --> 00:43:22,320
So I think the deal is,
831
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:23,656
I'll walk round
to the restaurant,
832
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:25,440
which is only about
100 meters that way,
833
00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:27,360
and I'll prepare lunch
for the crew.
834
00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:28,776
I was gonna say cook lunch
for the crew;
835
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:29,960
it won't all be cooked.
836
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,400
Obviously some of it
will be raw.
837
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:32,640
Does that sound like a deal?
838
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,600
He's quite
a sweet fellow really.
839
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:38,480
I think I'll call him Bob.
840
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,960
Moments later,
Bob is dismembered by the staff
841
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:44,760
of Narita-san's restaurant
and readied for the deep fryer.
842
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:51,560
We're going to do
sashimi, tempura,
843
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,960
and a sort of stew,
which isn't called a stew...
844
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:55,480
shabu-shabu, that's it.
845
00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:03,560
I bet that's nothing like
as easy as it looks.
846
00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:07,480
This knife is absolutely
phenomenally sharp.
847
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,720
It's all happening in a very
Zen-like, peaceful way.
848
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:11,280
It's not like Jamie Oliver
849
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:13,160
and-and Gordon Ramsay
where they run around
850
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:15,840
shouting at everybody.
No, this is, this is calm.
851
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,040
It's...
852
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:18,520
James, I'm so hungry.
853
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:20,000
- Hurry up, please.
- Yes, all right.
854
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:23,200
It'll be better
because you've waited for it.
855
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,920
Who needs MasterChef?
856
00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:30,280
Octopus sashimi, tempura,
857
00:44:30,320 --> 00:44:34,280
and shabu-shabu, a broth into
which you dip raw ingredients.
858
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:38,320
A feast to mollify
even the harshest critic.
859
00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:50,800
- Very good. Very delicious.
- Very good.
860
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:52,640
The trouble is,
the Japanese are so polite
861
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,080
that if it tasted like
shabu-shabu wellington boot,
862
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,280
they'd still say,
"Yes, it's very nice."
863
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:58,840
Is it really very nice?
864
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,520
- Really very nice.
- Really very nice, okay.
865
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:07,400
- So...
- Yes?
866
00:45:07,440 --> 00:45:09,280
So I have two sorts
of ice creams,
867
00:45:09,320 --> 00:45:11,200
- so which would you like, James?
- Yes.
868
00:45:11,240 --> 00:45:13,600
Well, I'm guessing
from your body language
869
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:16,720
you want me to take
the black, gray-colored one.
870
00:45:16,760 --> 00:45:19,080
- Yes, this is for you.
- Thank you. I thought so.
871
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,160
- Thank you very much.
- Do you know what's in it?
872
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,200
Coal?
873
00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:25,520
No, I'm gonna guess...
something...
874
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:27,440
Some sort of chocolate or...
875
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:29,840
- tea, actually, maybe it's tea.
- No, no, no, no.
876
00:45:29,880 --> 00:45:32,440
- I'll try it.
- No. You try?
877
00:45:34,480 --> 00:45:36,480
Actually tastes slightly fishy.
878
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:38,600
- Really?
- Yeah.
879
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,120
Exactly. It's squid ink.
880
00:45:42,160 --> 00:45:44,560
- Is it?
- Yes.
881
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:46,320
Is that vanilla?
882
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:48,880
- It's sea urchin.
- Is it?
883
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,200
I love it. It's very creamy.
I love it.
884
00:45:51,240 --> 00:45:54,560
I had hoped for a sweeter end
to my trip through Hokkaido,
885
00:45:54,600 --> 00:45:56,160
but I'll settle for this.
886
00:45:56,200 --> 00:45:58,040
Now where do I get
a crab stick flake?
887
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,160
It's 90% ice cream.
888
00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:04,320
Ten percent fish fingers.
889
00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:07,360
So far on my Japanese journey,
890
00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,560
I've brought great shame
to the world of dogsledding...
891
00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:13,360
- shame to my
snowballing team...
892
00:46:13,400 --> 00:46:15,880
shame to an
ancient sword master...
893
00:46:15,920 --> 00:46:18,120
Whoa!
894
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,840
And worn a mask in a scene
we didn't end up using.
895
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:22,616
That was actually
quite painful to start with,
896
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,440
but by the end,
I was perfectly happy.
897
00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:28,680
And while still undeniably
feeling like an outsider,
898
00:46:28,720 --> 00:46:31,160
the warmth and patience here
is so genuine...
899
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,400
- This is for you.
- Great.
Actually, it's James.
900
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,240
Domo arigato.
901
00:46:35,280 --> 00:46:38,760
That I feel the Japanese
mask of rules and protocols
902
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:41,080
is slowly slipping.
903
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:45,120
And as my ferry
gets ready to cast off
904
00:46:45,160 --> 00:46:46,840
for the mainland,
there's just time
905
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:49,480
for Masayo and me
to have one last...
906
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,520
Konbanwa.
907
00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:55,560
- I have a gift for you.
- Really?
908
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,720
- Yes.
- Thank you very much, James.
909
00:46:57,760 --> 00:46:59,280
I have a gift for you.
910
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:00,640
- Thank you.
- I hope you like it.
911
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:02,520
- Please open it.
- Okay.
912
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:14,720
Be careful,
it's-it's quite fragile.
913
00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,400
Just put it on my...
914
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:22,760
I'll do this first.
915
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:24,720
This went on for
a good five minutes,
916
00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,120
so we ended up replacing it
917
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:27,800
with something
that just unfolded.
918
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,720
- Please open it.
- Okay.
919
00:47:29,760 --> 00:47:32,440
Wow. Wonderful.
920
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:34,640
Very beautiful.
921
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:36,360
Yes!
922
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,560
Fantastic.
923
00:47:38,600 --> 00:47:41,400
It's a traditional
Japanese happi jacket,
924
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:43,200
and I'm very happy indeed.
925
00:47:43,240 --> 00:47:46,400
It's great, isn't it?
I like it a lot.
926
00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:48,760
-It's been a pleasure.
Thank you.
-Thank you very much.
927
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:50,480
Thank you very much.
928
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:57,520
Now I'm departing,
929
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,600
I've written a small haiku
to commemorate the occasion.
930
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:05,160
"Springless Hokkaido.
931
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:09,720
I'm off to Honshu to pop
my blossom cherry."
932
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:11,960
See you next time.
933
00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,280
I'll do this first.
934
00:48:29,520 --> 00:48:32,840
Sorry.
935
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:37,560
Hold it by the edge.
Hold it by the side...
936
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:40,400
and shake it,
and it will come down.
937
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,920
Somebody pull it off it.
938
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:53,680
Pull it off it.
939
00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:55,720
It was a teapot.
70004
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